Grossfest 3 Movie list announcement!

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Grossfest 3

July 25th, 2020 Saturday Movie List

(Vendor areas open at 11am and close 7pm that day)

 

“So why not start your day with a quick Grossfest workout?”

Hexercise – 11:05 – 11:25am

 

“Then the movie room really gets going!”

Suck Fest – 11:30 – 12:25pm

Circus of the Dead – 12:30pm – 2:45pm (1 hour and 45 mins with 30 min Q and A afterward with Billy Pon and Bill Oberest Jr.)

Do Not Disturb – 2:50 – 4:20pm

Grossfest award for short film – 4:30pm – 6:35pm

Grossfest award for feature film

And Grossfest lifetime achievement award

A M3owy St. Patrick’s Day and a special Steve surprise –

6:40 – 8:00pm (Steve Rudzinski intro)

Spirit Animal- 8:05- 9:25pm (Maddie Deering intro)

Blood Freak – 9:30 – 10:45 pm (Daniel Boyd intro)

We close the movie room at 11pm and of course movies are subject to change!

SO FILMMAKERS WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR BEST FEATURE AND BEST SHORT FILM. SUBMISSIONS WILL BE TAKEN TILL JUNE 1ST SO CONTACT ME. THERE IS NO FEE , I JUST NEED A PHYSICAL COPY TO ENTER!

Gross Movie Reviews #496

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Gross Movie Reviews #496

 

Frozen Sasquatch (DVD) – It is weird this recent Mark Polonia film just didn’t do it for me. Maybe it is just me? Or maybe it was because Mark was more of a hired gun on this production than a true old school Polonia Brothers production? Anyway three research scientists are sent to a secret lab in the Himalayas where contact has been lost. There is concern this has something to do with the odd creature the team recently found. Everyone involved wondered if they truly had a Yeti but didn’t get much time to celebrate. When the three arrive they find the facility in disarray and eventually figure out there was ‘Yeti-experiments’ which of course pissed the creature off. Again this film just didn’t sit right with me. Hopefully you feel differently as I could only give it 1 star.

 

Killer Yacht Party (DVD) – A terrible movie about a club owner who rents out a yacht that hey, it’s haunted, to make more money. But a bitter drug dealer makes his way onto the ship to fuck things up for Brock the club owner. Problem is the ghost or whoever kills Brock’s girl toy and the drug dealer is caught red handed. From there Brock goes into a drug filled rage and people that paid to be on the ship are getting killed off one by one especially if they are trying to bump uglies in parts of the ship. All you need to know is the movie look like it was gonna be bad as soon as the opening credits came on as I give it a ½ star.

 

Southern Shockers (DVD) – A mid-80s low budget film about three men showing up late for church service. Of course the preacher doesn’t take to kindly to tardiness and begins to speak to these men during his sermon. These three men are forced to face off with their demons so is the preacher a witch or is he using God’s power to punish them? Interesting flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Halfway House (DVD) – A 2004 film about young women missing from a halfway house for troubled girls. But when police go poking around there is no evidence to be found and Mary Woronov assures the authorities they have nothing but the girls’ wellbeing in mind. Larissa convinces a young sexy officer to go undercover because her sister is one of the missing girls. This way undercover she can get to the bottom of what is going between the girls, Woronov, and the weird priest. Larissa doesn’t find out a whole lot while undercover exception of all the weird unholy sexual acts that go down but there is a far more sinister secret and it has to do with Cthulhu! A great sleazy film that involves Cthulhu and seems to only hire actresses with nipple rings? Great stuff to track down kids as I give it 3 stars.

 

Sleepless Nights (DVD) – An anthology with several people involved: Jeff Chitty, Mike Gordon, Tony Masiello, Leslie Monk, Amanda Peyton, Andrew Rolston, Todd Sheets, and Brad Twigg where their stories are being told by a little girl to her babysitter during the Halloween season. The babysitter claims to scare easily so the little girl goes on about haunted houses, zombies, plumbers performing exorcisms, a man with an afro who is sword fighting a weirdo that shoots lightning bolts from his butt, psycho drivers, and vampires. While this is all going on the kid and babysitter are being stalked inside the home for the wraparound. This was actually a pleasant surprise with no bad stories in the bunch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ninja Zombie (DVD) – This is supposedly a lost film from 1992 about a man named Mr. Sands who has access to an ancient artifact that could give an individual great power. Since a gang of ninjas are stalking Sands he decides to pay a guy 50 or 60 bucks to bring his kung fu fighting best friend back from the dead to fight the gang of ninjas known as ‘Red Spiders’ and their evil leader. The movie is far from great and suffers from editing issues but is one of those grab the beer and watch with friends’ kind of film as I give it 2 stars.

Suck Fest (DVD) – BPO Films is at it again with their latest project which is a documentary or mockumentary (depending how you look at it) about the three talented fellows(Ben, Blake, and Ryan) taking a trip to a horror convention to promote their film “Slaughter Drive”. The film isn’t so much about the convention as much as it is about the three friends’ relationship as it breaks down quickly once they hit the road to the hotel and they lose luggage, stolen credit cards, stuff goes missing, too much coffee, not selling shit at the horror convention, and one of the three thinking they were going to kick each other in the balls to settle a dispute! The film isn’t just funny but a laugh a minute as these fellows show off even more of their comedic side in their documentary (sort of?) as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. THIS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT GROSSFEST 2020 for the first time ever. Go check out www.bpofilms.com and get to know this great group of independent filmmakers.

 

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (Theater) – Fresh off of “Suicide Squad” it looks like DC has decided to play it smart and avoid the Batman and Superman thing and let the story organically move along. Keeping with the theme of Harley Quinn the film not only allows you to dive head first into the storyline of Ms. Quinn but get the viewers’ up to speed of how cool this character is and can be for future films. Yes we know Margot Robbie is perfect for the role and has broken up with the Joker for good this time but it is more about how she gets through this tough time. Or mainly needing help from a group of women who eventually become the “Birds of Prey” to defeat an evil prick in Roman Sionis aka “Black Mask”. Harley wanted by all who she has wronged must find a way to not only help a little girl who just swallowed a very expensive diamond but work with a team. The movie is very entertaining and can easily be seen that this is just the beginning of the Harley Quinn movies as she is definitely one of the more interesting characters in the DC universe. I believe this was a much better story for the character to blossom than the “Suicide Squad” version. It’s not perfect but enough fun for me to keep hope that they will get Margot Robbie in the original Harley costume for one of these upcoming films as I give this Harley movie 3 stars.

 

Deep Freeze (DVD) – So I found this early 2000s flick directed by the legend John Carl Buechler about a drilling company called Geotech in Antarctica. Apparently this company is drilling for oil… supposedly. After the last shaker crew members begin to disappear as the interns show up to investigate Geotech to be sure they are not doing harm to the environment. The biggest problem is Geotech wants to cover up what they actually and it is an ancient parasite creature that is now feasting on all who are in the facility. Look closely at some of the scenes kids cause yes it is footage they took from John Carpenter’s The Thing for mostly exterior shots. I thought I was seeing things until I paused the movie and looked it up on the Google machine and I yep someone was like ‘fuck it, we are just going to steal their footage to fill this low budget mess in’. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Creature (DVD) – Another early 2000s sci-fi flick that I got excited when seeing John Savage and Martin Kove were starring in it but my movie boner was stolen away slowly in this boring but bloody creature feature. A black ops team is sent into a Rocky Mountain secret base where the team has 16 hours to find out what happen to the experimental, genetically modified creature and scientists. If anyone is found alive well they are a cleanup crew so no one is allowed to survive. A scientist unlocks a secret from an ancient stone that fell from the sky that has intelligent alien life. I like the plot, I like the two main actors, but it’s mostly uneventful filler as I give it 1 star. By some chance you do go looking for it your best chance is looking for it under its other title “Alien Lockdown”.

The Snarling (DVD) – Oh this film was an absolute treat to watch. The film takes place in a small UK village where a zombie film is using many locations in the village to film. As their lead actor causes issues with the crew, crew members begin to be brutally massacred. But never let a few murders get in the way of finishing a horror movie as producers hire three locals to be extras in the film. A funny thing happens as crew sees the three and the one they call Les Jarvis just happens to be the film’s lead actor’s doppelganger Greg Lupeen. Since Greg is such a pain in the ass the crew uses Les to finish some shots. While this is all going on the authorities believe Greg is the main suspect as the bodies begin to pile up. There is a good amount of gore, a funny looking werewolf, and an abundance of hilarious dialogue between Les and his two friends at the pub. One of the funniest werewolf/zombie films you will ever watch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #447

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Gross Movie Reviews #447

 

Megalodon (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Navy ship defies orders from its admiral (Michael Madsen) in order to try and save a shipmate and her experimental sub that is swallowed up by a monster shark. The monster shark is loose because the Russians were supposedly at the bottom of the ocean trying to tap into the pipeline. The Navy could never find evidence of it but now they have if it if they can survive the attack of this prehistoric shark that is now trying to destroy the ship. The film was fun for about 15 minutes but I couldn’t take seriously Michael Madsen as he doesn’t fit into a military outfit let alone the U.S. Navy. But whatever as I give this limp noodle of a shark flick 1 star.

Santa Jaws (SyFy Channel/DVD) – So this may have been the underrated treat of “SyFy Channel Shark Week”. A teenager who is an aspiring comic book artist is grounded for Christmas and told he will miss the comic book party. He opens up an early Christmas present which just so happens to be a magic pen. With this magic pen the teenager Cody begins drawing his latest comic adaptation ‘Santa Jaws’. It is literally a great white shark with a Santa hat on its fin that begins to track down Cody’s family and eats them on Christmas Eve. Once Cody knows that Santa Jaws is real he must convince everyone else and figure out how to get rid of this jolly man-eater. There are a lot of corny holiday bad jokes, the subplot of the Cody trying to talk to the cute girl across the street, and the weird comic book dude that hits on all women. Before you start bitching why this movie shouldn’t exist, remember there was “Santa Paws”… So check your brain at the door and keep this on the back burner for the holiday season as I give this holiday film 3 stars.

 

Frenzy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Starts off like a found footage film but corrects itself into complete crap that makes root for the characters to die of a quick horrible death. But apparently the filmmaker watched “The Swallows” on a continuous loop for a month and an idea to appeal to younger horror fan… maybe? The Lewis sisters and friends have a YouTube show where they go adventures and such and record it for their online shows. This episode has them filming as they illegally get someone to take them into a protected sanctuary just so they can say they were there. Of course the plane has problems and they crash in the ocean only to become fish food for some hungry sharks. I literally hate watched this film about ten minutes in and wanted all the characters to die cause sad part is I could see real life dumb asses doing this to begin with. Anyway… get off my lawn as I give this piece of garbage 0 stars.

 

Nightmare Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Now, I am not saying this shark movie was great or anything but have to say kudos for a different shark film. A doctor finds a way to reach out to shark attack victims for an experimental group therapy weekend. He claims to be working on a drug to help cure the nightmares they all have about the same shark. A shark that Dr. Novak may have seen when he almost died in Hawaii a few years before and it asked him to serve the shark god. So yes Dr. Novak has bad intentions once all members of the group have arrived. But remember it is about nightmares so not all you will see is true or basically imagine if Freddy Krueger was an ugly shark trying to kill you in your dreams. Just weird enough it kept me interested and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A crazy off the wall post-apocalyptic flick where war has turned most of the world into a wasteland and an alien has decided to visit. The alien is there to gain information on how to stop their world from killing each other in war but soon understands there is no hope on Earth either. John Saxon plays a militant madman trying to win a war who only answers to Richard Lynch and has a bodyguard played by James Lew. Did I forget to mention Michael Berryman shows up in drag, Matthias Hues comes off as a wrestler in the future who lost his way from the movie set of “I Come in Peace”, Al Leong is hanging out with the bad guys watching Michael Berryman stab a dude in a bar fight, and there floppy disks may help save the world from John Saxon. Bad movie gold my friends and deserves to have a Blu-ray as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

6-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Married couples on an island for a couple retreat or boot camp to help them get back what they once had. This is disrupted by a six-headed shark that may have been the results of an experiment over 30 years ago on the other side of the island? Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this film may have had the whiniest and bitchiest characters of all time! I so wanted the six-headed shark to be thrown like a Chinese star through the island when the bad weather arrives in the film. Thus ending this feature quickly as these people needed to die. No one here was likable. I really hope films like “Frenzy” and this sequel do not become a trend in horror movie making because it just plain sucks out loud! I give it 0 stars.

 

8-Bit Bloodbath (DVD) – A twenty minute film about a gamer named Billy who is invited to a Halloween party but becomes a sacrifice instead. But Billy rises from the dead as an undead 8-bit super zombie who seeks revenge against mankind. Once undead he slaughters people with his various weapons he is able to produce out of his zombie Nintendo glove. The independent short film is raw but very entertaining and reminds me a little of the Polonia Brothers early stuff shot on VHS. Todd Wolfson has my attention with this film and his trailer for ‘Sponge’ which looked very funny and entertaining. I give this fun short film 3 out of 4 stars and cannot wait to see what is to come next from Mr. Wolfson and crew. For more info on this project check out:  https://www.facebook.com/8BitBloodBath/

 

Patient Zero (On Demand) – A UK flick that has the world being infected by a super rabies virus. It started with animals but mutated once it got into humans causing them to become raging violent maniacs. With the population being decimated quickly the military grasps at straws with their research and trying to find ‘Patient Zero’ for answers on how to cure people. But there is a slight hope as a man helps the research on a daily basis as he was bitten but never turned. With this he is able to communicate to the infected and hopefully using this power helps them all find the cure. Problem becomes the infected are evolving and want not a war but everyone to be infected. A very curious alternative horror film that is a reminder of how good “28 Days Later” was and how I am surprised not to see more films like this made over the years? I give this interesting flick 2 ½ stars. I may have given it a better rating but wasn’t really impressed with the non-ending.

 

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (SyFy Channel/DVD) – And just in case for those of you counting at home this is “Sharknado 6”. When we last seen Fin, he was in the future with his son (Dolph Lundgren) and he was going to help his father to get back to the past. Now, Fin ends up in prehistoric times and finds most of his family as they fight a Sharknado at key points in history. Along the way they are trying to find Fin’s son (no longer Dolph Lundgren because it was cheaper I guess?) so they can meet up. But after killing off a bunch Sharknados their flux capacitor goes awry and they end up in 20013 or something… Basically ‘Planet of the Aprils’! The movie goes completely absurd but does a much better job of going absurd than the past two sequels as this entry was much more entertaining of how they are trying to stop the Sharknados for good. It was a wonderful movie idea they ran into the ground but I am glad it exists for the mere reason it got people who usually wouldn’t pay attention to this kind of film to pay attention. So thank you Sharknado for the good and bad shark movie sequels as I give this entry 2 ½ stars. Also I give it three years before it gets remade???

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.