Gross Movie Reviews #396

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Gross Movie Reviews #396

 

Grave Mistake (DVD) – Yep, it was a huge mistake in watching this independent zombie film. I love independent films to a fault but every once in a while I come across garbage. And this flick is worse than the chemical waste dumped on a graveyard (in New Mexico) that creates zombies as they munch on the locals. But luckily Phil Baker wrote a book “Survival Guide of the Undead” to help his friends at the auto shop that they are trapped in when the apocalypse goes down. Disappointed the Phil Baker character gets killed off quickly but this movie should have been also. I give the flick 0 stars.

 

Awaken the Dead (DVD) – Found another independent zombie movie to annoy the shit out of me as a priest and woman try to defend themselves in a home being attacked by flesh eaters! Apparently, if you make it grainy, slow motion, and dramatic it’s supposed to be taken more serious? Nope! That is why yinz folks have me watching and taking my life into my own hands when trying to swim through the crap. You got it, 0 stars.

 

Madhouse (DVD) – A much underrated Vincent Price and Peter Cushing film and that is saying a lot as I call it a role reversal type of horror film for these two actors. Vincent Price is Paul Toombs aka Dr. Death. A popular character that has been a part of several horror films where the character kills the leading lady. Finally, after many years Paul is marrying one of his leading ladies at their New Year’s Party. Instead, someone playing the Dr. Death character decides to decapitate Paul’s fiancée. Thus sending Paul to an asylum for many years, some believing he killed her as Dr. Death. Once released Peter Cushing’s character has written a Dr. Death TV series and wants Toombs back as the lead role. Problem, everyone is dying who has a disagreement with Paul but there is a twist? Its creepy, it’s fun, and nice to see these guys in opposite roles! I give this mid-70s beauty 3 ½ stars.

 

Grim (DVD) – Four people play with an Ouija board to try and bring forth a spirit or something to contact? Instead they awaken a terrible troll that is able to phase through cave walls and eat humans. After some mine subsidence a group of people go into the caves to see what the problem is and found the troll that was conjured up. A mid-90s horror flick that feeds into the 1990s sucked for horror as I give it 1 star.

 

At Midnight I’ll Take Your Corpse (DVD) – Synapse Films is overjoyed to bring Coffin Joe fans his original trilogy that has gained a cult like support over the years in the US. The first film released in 1964 introduces viewers to the man “Coffin Joe”, an undertaker who is not thrilled of religion and scares the shit out of his small town. His main reason for his anger is his wife cannot have children or a male child in this case that will carry on his legacy. The undertaker becomes overwhelmed with the beauty of his best friend’s fiancée and makes advances. When he is denied, he kills his best friend Antonio and defies what the gypsy’s warnings to take advantage of her! But as we all know your past can come back and haunt you as does to Coffin Joe. It is considered Brazil’s first horror film and knocked down some doors internationally as Coffin Joe is considered a horror icon by most. This disc has all kinds of goodies that include: an intro, a short film for fans of Coffin Joe, trailers, Making of, a new scene and of course the amazing work done with the transfer that Synapse does every time. I give the disc 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

 

This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse (DVD) – Coffin Joe returns in the direct sequel somehow surviving the horror he went through at the end of the film ‘At Midnight I’ll Take Your Corpse’. The angry ghosts of his past don’t get the job done and Coffin Joe heals up in a hospital bed until he is able to stand again. Once well, he regains his job as undertaker for the small town and with help from his hunchback he begins his search for the perfect woman. A woman that is worthy to carry his offspring and legacy of starting a new race of people. As he kidnaps wives and girlfriends he makes the mistake of killing a pregnant woman during his torturing process. Even with finding the perfect woman he is haunted by his past sins and has a visit to hell! The transfer is excellent as usual and has a few goodies that Coffin Joe fans will be happy with including the film having “the hell” scene placed back in the film and a visit to the Coffin Joe museum. Cool stuff once again from the Synapse crew as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found out at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned (DVD) – Oh it’s just Chuck’s bachelor party and it just so happens the strippers that show up to the weekend party are vampires. Surprise, surprise they are there to fuck and have a bite to eat? The ugly boobs, the poor excuse for acting, and crappy effects are what make you all damned if you watch this flick. But again that is why I exist to find and watch this poo that makes out there in movie world. Thank the lord Rutger Hauer it was less than 75 minutes as I give it 0 stars.

getting-schooled

Getting Schooled (DVD/Vimeo) – So it’s Spring 1983, and some high schoolers have been sent to detention. Ron Jeremy the school janitor sticks around long enough to make a few jokes as Mr. Roker is about to do role call for detention. Mr. Roker pulls down the projector screen and flies back up hitting the wheelchair bound teacher in the face. Thus knocking him out and the kids wondering what the hell to do with him if he is dead? When he comes too Mr. Roker has Vietnam flashbacks and threatens to kill everyone in detention as they are the enemy. The “Cat and Mouse” game begins as Mr. Roker escapes into the ceiling after being tied down and teenagers search for him only to be killed off one by one. You get the point it is ‘The Breakfast Club’ if it’s a horror film and has its fun moments but also has some flaws. This independent film will find its niche as a lot of horror movie fans are enjoying the retro horror stuff that is being released. I give this new flick from Midnight Releasing 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at: www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Ghostbusters (DVD/remake) – Good, bad, indifferent, no matter how you feel about this flick it didn’t deserve the flack it got. Now saying that, the original is far superior but we all knew that going in… right? This time around its four women who form the group the ‘Ghostbusters’ as paranormal stuff is off the scale in New York recently. These four women all with different names than the original go to investigate the source of the paranormal surge and quickly find out it’s a human trying to break the vortex between worlds. He hates the world and wants everyone to pay for his misery. Loved Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones characters and laughed quite a few times at the Chris Hemsworth. The film isn’t terrible, but it’s not great, the flick just exists which is saying a hell of a lot more compared to some remakes of the past as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Equalizer 2000 (DVD) – Found another post-apocalyptic film from the same dude that gave us ‘Future Hunters’, Robert Patrick, and ‘Wheels of Fire’. This time around its a hundred years after the nuclear winter set in Alaska where humans are still at war over oil! A man named Slade is considered a deserter by the heavily armed group called “the Ownership”. Slade helps a young woman running from Robert Patrick and his gang of rejects! In return she takes him to her peaceful compound to get fixed up and find the “Mean Gun”. Slade helps fix and perfect this weapon to fire back at The Ownership when they demand more water. But while protecting the compound Slade loses his girl and eventually the gun and it all comes down to one big war for The Ownership to be overthrown so we all can live in a peaceful world. Just another fun and cheesy ‘Road Warrior’ rip-off, that never gets old as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Garden Party Massacre

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“Some People are the Death of the Party!”

garden-party-massacre-movie-poster-gregory-blair_0

 

Los Angeles, California – Horror meets comedy in award winning Gregory Blair’s new film Garden Party Massacre, finishing post production via Pix/See Productions and just today releasing the first official teaser trailer.

 

In a 180-degree tone shift from Blair’s previous film (the moody, brooding psych-thriller Deadly Revisions), Garden Party Massacre is a fast-paced romp where both catsup and blood flow freely. Based on his FANtastic Horror Film Festival winning script, writer/director Gregory Blair helms the film which tells the tale of a friendly backyard gathering that goes awry when an unexpected guest shows up. With a pickax. And an attitude! Things go south from there as the guests try to survive.

 

Blair compares the film to other comedy horror features like Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) and says: “I love films that successfully walk that line between horror and comedy, whether it’s witty and referential like Scream or giddy low camp like Army of Darkness.” Blair also steps in front of the camera along with Nichole Bagby (On the Rocks), Andy Gates (Grimm), Lise Hart (Deadly Revisions), Dawna Lee Heising (Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance), and more.

 

The film is due out later this year, but fans can get a taste of the fun right now in the teaser.

 

First trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlEfp6xMuw0&feature=youtu.be

 

A downloadable version: https://1drv.ms/v/s!AicYX6Z-QReGhcAr9evhz4s9tdOxIg

 

Photos: https://1drv.ms/f/s!AicYX6Z-QReGhb8IaWA6_JvoCjkMcw

 

Director/writer: Gregory Blair.

 

Cast: Andy Gates, Lise Hart, Dawna Lee Heising, Nichole Bagby, Gregory Blair, David Leeper and Matt Weinglass.

 

 

The film’s official website: http://www.gardenpartymassacrefilm.com/

 

 

 

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GardenPartyMassacre/

 

 

 

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/GardnPrtyMasacr

Okay we are trying not to be as lazy…

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This week we return to discuss our personal opinions on such topics as best exploitation flick, movie you would get into a fist fight about, best gore flick, and so on…. and so forth. The topics are various and out of the ordinary. But what more would you expect. Also we get into recent watches. And we answer all of your questions on our quasi re-introduction podcast.

opinion

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Its coming…

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Convention hours:
Friday 5pm to 10pm
Saturday 10am to 7pm
Sunday 11am to 5pm

http://www.horrorrealmcon.com

horror-realm

TERROR FILMS EXPANDS DISTRIBUTION REACH ACROSS 3 ROKU CHANNELS, iTUNES INTERNATIONAL AND VOD PARTNERSHIP WITH I BLEED INDIE

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Los Angeles, CA – Thursday, January 19th, 2017 – In their goal to bring the best indie horror to the widest possible audience, genre distributor Terror Films continues to grow their distribution arm by releasing their films across several new platforms including: 3 Roku channels via a partnership with Roku Developer UDU Digital as well as a newly formed VOD channel from I Bleed Indie and finally, a World Wide expansion on iTunes International with a global reach in over 15 countries. This is in addition to the company’s existing, strategic partnerships with Raven Banner Releasing in Canada and Automatic Entertainment, the distributors official foreign sales division.

The company’s films are expected to launch on http://ibleedindie.com in the next few weeks. The Roku pages are currently live and include Free Flix Tonight, 24 Hour Movie Channel and Free Grindhouse Flix Tonight. Roku customers can find the Terror Films page by searching the links below.

Free Flix Tonight

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/115772/freeflix-tonight

24-Hour Movie Channel

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/86186/24-hour-movie-channel

 

free-flix-tonight-grindhouse-banner_jpeg

Free Grindhouse Flix Tonight

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/119146/free-grindhouse-flix-tonight

Titles will include the entire 2016 slate: Antidote, Hell House LLC, The Dark Stranger, The Chosen, House of Purgatory, The House on Pine Street, Goddess of Love, Patient Seven and Landmine Goes Click with more titles soon to follow.

Terror Films Executive Joe Dain stated, “We are in exciting times in the digital and VOD world of distribution. If handled correctly, we can shine a light on some of the best indie horror films out there that you might not otherwise see from some of our larger distribution counterparts.  We not only give these indie films exposure on a massive level across multiple platforms but by doing so we give them a real chance of being financially successful for everyone involved”.

To learn more about Terror Films or to submit a completed feature film for distribution consideration, visit:

Official Website: www.terrorfilms.net

Official Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #395

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Gross Movie Reviews #395

 

Daylight’s End (On Demand) – Some time has passed since a plague has just about wiped out humans. Some are survivors and some have become some kind of vampire/zombie mutants that now feed on humans. A man on a lonely mission helps out a young woman who gets jumped by other survivors. She takes him to a safe haven in the city that happens to be a police station where survivors have fought of the mutants and plan on leaving soon. But problems come along with the lone hero as a smarter mutant or “Alpha” is setting up the survivors to be a late night snack if they do not leave soon. The pacing of the flick is good, some gore, it has the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen, and it’s another post-apocalyptic film which I enjoy. But the whole time watching the movie I felt like something was missing, not sure what? It’s kinda weird because the film is solid but not great as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blair Witch (On Demand) – So there is a sequel or is it a remake? It’s a sequel… Honestly who gives a fuck as the movie annoyed the shit out of me just like the original. Heather’s brother now grown up and obsessed with finding answers to his sister’s disappearance decides to travel to the woods to do his own investigating. After a few crappy jump scares and shakier camera work, oh look… the Blair Witch! I will stick with ‘Book of Shadows’ if I wanna keeps abusing myself with these films as I give it 0 stars.

 

Ninja III: The Domination (DVD) – Lucinda Dickey, James Hong, and Sho Kosugi make the ten year old still in me love this product of the 80s all over again. A dying ninja possesses the young and beautiful Lucinda Dickey after she finds him in the desert. Not knowing of this when she sleeps the ninja spirit dresses up, grabs the sword, and begins his or her reign of terror. After a visit with screen legend James Hong, Lucinda and her boyfriend find out only a ninja can truly kill a ninja. Yep, its corny… But not in 1984/1985 where the ten year old me couldn’t get enough of this flick playing on cable TV. I give this classic 3 stars.

 

Comin’ At Ya! (DVD) – Old school western but shot in 3-D with some fun visuals that make this lost gem of a film absolutely a must watch. Before ‘Treasure of Four Crowns’ the same people made this flick about a cowboy named H.H. Hart who is about to get married until two evil brothers try to kill him and steal his bride. Once healed Mr. Hart goes on a revenge tour of tracking down the two brothers to slaughter them! If you are a spaghetti western fan or just a cinema buff and have not seen this yet? Correct this mistake quickly as it is a wonderful and fun movie experience as I give the flick 3 stars.

220px-cyborg3dvd

Cyborg 3: The Recycler (DVD) – First, we got JCVD in a post-apocalyptic world. Second time around we got a young Angelina Jolie as a cyborg and naked! Third time around it was like the director and casting person got together threw a bunch of genre veteran names into a hat, picked them, and made a movie that no one will care that it was made… except me. Richard Lynch is Lewellyn a man who is willing to track down all cyborgs, steal their eyes, and sell them for spare parts. Lewellyn becomes obsessed when he finds out information about a female cyborg that is pregnant and tracks her to a cyborg safe haven. From there of course its war! It is B-movie fun if you lasted through the first two films this makes a great dessert film buffs as I give it 2 ½ stars.

noss1

Night of Something Strange (On Demand) – Right or wrong, good or bad, this movie proved to be “something strange”. A janitor at a morgue gets the wise idea to have sex with a corpse. The corpse is a Jane Doe that just happens to be dead from radiation or STD’s. The janitor goes home, mutates, and then rapes mom! From there gets run down by two drunken hillbillies and hitches a ride to a convenience store to kill the clerk. And finally makes his way to a motel where a group of teenagers have deiced to stay for a night of sex on their way to a beach for spring break. Great effects, zombies, and hilarious vagina punching may have made Frank Henenlotter proud. I like to call the film “Spring Breakers vs. Sex Starved/Flesh Eating Zombies” and give the movie 3 stars as I laughed quite a few times.

 

Killbillies (DVD) – You learn something new every day as apparently this is the first Slovenia horror film ever released. Zina is a model who is traveling with another model and a photographer to the countryside for their new photo shoot. While setting up, two ‘Wrong Turn’ extras show up touching themselves and kidnap the small crew of four. The two disgusting men don’t wanna cannibalize them but use them to make some strange moonshine or vodka. Knowing death is coming Zina forces her way out to try and escape these men. Great first horror flick out of the gate and hope for many more as I give this flick 3 stars.

 

Detention (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is a former Special Forces vet who must put his skills to work again when he is a teacher that must protect his students. Dolph gets stuck with detention duty on his last day of work. While he is trying to keep it together through this last duty some criminals have plans to use the school as part of their heist of heroin. Once the school is locked down for the weekend with just the students in detention, the criminals make their way in and set up. When they go to kill all that is left Dolph breaks into action as his students to stop them. With the Nu Image logo you knew you were getting that low budget direct to video fun. I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

The latest CINEMA WASTELAND MOVIE & MEMORABILIA EXPO update

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“The Last of the Old School B Movie Fan Conventions”

April 7th, 8th and 9th, 2017

Holiday Inn – Strongsville, OH. 44136

Check us out at: http://www.cinemawasteland.com

 

____________________________________________________________________

 

We here at Wasteland World Central would like to wish everyone a healthy and happy New Year!

 

Although things are always hectic between the October CW Show and the end of any given year, we’ve been trying to get in touch with and see if we can’t add to the Guest List for our 50th Anniversary of Night of the Living Dead Cast and Crew Reunion the past couple of months. Alas, it appears that what you see is who you’ll get. Without going into any details that will make anybody sound like they just don’t care about the fans the eleven people we have lined up is probably going to be everyone we get, and to us, there is nothing wrong with that since no other convention out there is able to get all of the Guests we have lined up.

 

Now we simply take a look at things and see if we can’t get a couple more Guests to add to the list this month to round things out or just stick with what we have and invite new faces to the 2017 Fall Show.

 

We are however ready to update a few of 16mm Films we will be screening and get some stuff posted on the CW Show web site by this weekend so take a look around when you get a few minutes and see what we have in store so far.

 

As usual, there’s not a whole helluva lot to say this month with the Holiday’s just wrapping up, so I’ll leave everyone with the usual batch of reminders and catch up next month with anything new to say about the Spring Show.

 

FRIDAY NIGHT TRIVIA: Don’t forget about our new FRIDAY NIGHT WASTELAND TRIVIA in the hotel bar starting at 10:30pm after the Vendor and Guest Room shuts down on Friday night next show. The top three teams will split $100 in cash prizes. Well, not just cash prizes for the top three teams, but bragging rights for those top teams as well. Judging by the way they like to correct anything I get wrong on the web site, CW is full of movie fans that know their stuff when it comes to trivia, so bragging rights to the top teams is most certainly something to be proud of.

 

Here are the RULES AND REGULATIONS for Friday Night Wasteland Trivia –

1.- Teams of up to six (6) players are allowed to compete, so form your team, pick a name to call yourselves, and watch a bunch of stuff between now and next April’s show.

2.- Do Not shout out any answers to the questions or risk being disqualified.

3.- Do Not use anything that can be used to cheat. No cellphones, reference material, iPad’s etc will be allowed. If we catch you looking at your phone before you turn in your answer, you just cost your team that round and zero points will be awarded.

4.- Only one answer per team allowed and you can not change your answer once you’ve turned it into the hosts / judges.

5.- Don’t answer a question and no points will be awarded, so do your best and give all the questions your best shot.

6.- Points for each question in each round will vary so some questions will be worth more than others. The game will offer everyone a chance to earn up to 100 points total, plus a bonus round. In the event of a tie at the end of the game, a tie breaker question will be asked.

7.- The decisions of the hosts / judges are final.

 

 

GRAB SOME C.W. SHOW SWAG: The cool 16 ounce Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo glass and the “Wasteland is Family” t-shirt we had available at the last show are now available to order on line. You’ll find CW merchandise listed with passes and stuff on the web site, or use this handy link to order your CW Show swag today. Click Here to Order

 

TICKETS: You can grab yourself a 3-Day Pass into CW’s April 7-9, 2017 Show for only $40 if you act before 3/17/17. And a 3-Day Pass gets you in at 4:00pm on Friday, April 7th, at No Extra Charge. You can also grab Single Day Passes for only $20 each and save $5 off the at-the-door prices on Saturday between now and 3/17/17.

 

Come showtime, a 3-Day Pass will set you back $50 on Friday, which is still $25 to $50 or more less than most cons that are not named The Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo charges. Friday’s day-of-show price is $20, while Saturday is $25, and Sunday is still only $15.

You can grab your passes on line by Click Here.

 

HOTEL: The one thing you can always count on is that the hotel will be sold out by show time. We take over the entire hotel, and rooms seem to fill up faster every show since the motel next door raised its rates and is no longer a significant savings over the Show Hotel. Help support the show and avoid the headache of having to stay down the road by making your room reservations today. Reserve your room through our web site, or by calling The Holiday Inn reservation line at 1-877-408-4913. Remember you MUST ask for “The Cinema Wasteland Room Rate”, or they really should tell you that they are ”sold out” and have no rooms. And PLEASE only reserve as many rooms as you plan on using.

 

 

* January is the LAST Month you can submit a Short or Feature and hope to get it screened at April’s Show, so…

 

HOW DO I SUBMIT MY MOVIE OR SHORT FILM FOR THE CW INDY FILM FEST?:

 

First Rule: Your movie or short film needs to be 100% finished before we’ll consider screening it.

 

Second Rule: The film you submit can’t be older than a year or so old or already have DVD or cable TV distribution since we’re basically trying to help independent filmmakers get the word out about their films to our attending fans.

 

Third Rule: When your movie or short film is completely finished, just send us off a screener to watch and consider. (We won’t watch a “link” on the computer since we can’t screen a “link” on the computer at the show itself.) Make sure you include contact information so we can get back to you if we do decide to screen your short or feature, and patiently wait to see if we get back to you. It’s that easy.

 

Since we’ve always supported the independent filmmaker, we don’t do things like your average every day film festival does things. Namely, we don’t charge to screen your movie or short film and just take your money and run whatever somebody sends us. We simply watch everything that is sent to us and fit as many indy films into the weekend schedule that we can squeeze in around all the other guest related movies and events that we normally cram into a Wasteland Weekend. We do keep film submissions for up to one year’s time so if we don’t screen your film or short one show, it very well could make the next show. We do watch and tend to enjoy everything we receive but please don’t take it personally if we don’t screen your submission. Chances are it just didn’t make it into the weekend schedule because we received way too many submissions in a short amount of time and/or had more films that fit a certain theme that matches the weekend we’re currently running.

 

Because we don’t charge to screen your film or short, a screening does not come with free passes into the show. A pass into the CW Show however is much cheaper than any film festival submission prices.

 

The submission cut off date for any given CW Show is two months before the event so we have time to watch and review everything we receive. We review all submissions by their post mark date, so anything received after the cut off date will only be included if we have screening time to fill.

 

OK, that’s it for me this time around.

 

KenCINEMA WASTELAND MOVIE & MEMORABILIA EXPO

“The Last of the Old School B Movie Fan Conventions” April 7th, 8th and 9th, 2017 Holiday Inn – Strongsville, OH. 44136 Check us out at:  www.cinemawasteland.com

____________________________________________________________________

We here at Wasteland World Central would like to wish everyone a healthy and happy New Year!

Although things are always hectic between the October CW Show and the end of any given year, we’ve been trying to get in touch with and see if we can’t add to the Guest List for our 50th Anniversary of Night of the Living Dead Cast and Crew Reunion the past couple of months. Alas, it appears that what you see is who you’ll get. Without going into any details that will make anybody sound like they just don’t care about the fans the eleven people we have lined up is probably going to be everyone we get, and to us, there is nothing wrong with that since no other convention out there is able to get all of the Guests we have lined up.

Now we simply take a look at things and see if we can’t get a couple more Guests to add to the list this month to round things out or just stick with what we have and invite new faces to the 2017 Fall Show.

We are however ready to update a few of 16mm Films we will be screening and get some stuff posted on the CW Show web site by this weekend so take a look around when you get a few minutes and see what we have in store so far.

As usual, there’s not a whole helluva lot to say this month with the Holiday’s just wrapping up, so I’ll leave everyone with the usual batch of reminders and catch up next month with anything new to say about the Spring Show.

FRIDAY NIGHT TRIVIA:  Don’t forget about our new FRIDAY NIGHT WASTELAND TRIVIA in the hotel bar starting at 10:30pm after the Vendor and Guest Room shuts down on Friday night next show. The top three teams will split $100 in cash prizes. Well, not just cash prizes for the top three teams, but bragging rights for those top teams as well. Judging by the way they like to correct anything I get wrong on the web site, CW is full of movie fans that know their stuff when it comes to trivia, so bragging rights to the top teams is most certainly something to be proud of.

Here are the RULES AND REGULATIONS for Friday Night Wasteland Trivia –

  1. – Teams of up to six (6) players are allowed to compete, so form your team, pick a name to call yourselves, and watch a bunch of stuff between now and next April’s show.
  2. – Do Not shout out any answers to the questions or risk being disqualified.
  3. – Do Not use anything that can be used to cheat. No cellphones, reference material, iPad’s etc will be allowed. If we catch you looking at your phone before you turn in your answer, you just cost your team that round and zero points will be awarded.
  4. – Only one answer per team allowed and you can not change your answer once you’ve turned it into the hosts / judges.
  5. – Don’t answer a question and no points will be awarded, so do your best and give all the questions your best shot.
  6. – Points for each question in each round will vary so some questions will be worth more than others. The game will offer everyone a chance to earn up to 100 points total, plus a bonus round. In the event of a tie at the end of the game, a tie breaker question will be asked.
  7. – The decisions of the hosts / judges are final.

GRAB SOME C.W. SHOW SWAG:  The cool 16 ounce Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo glass and the “Wasteland is Family” t-shirt we had available at the last show are now available to order on line. You’ll find CW merchandise listed with passes and stuff on the web site, or use this handy link to order your CW Show swag today.  Click Here to Order

TICKETS:  You can grab yourself a 3-Day Pass into CW’s April 7-9, 2017 Show for only $40 if you act before 3/17/17. And a 3-Day Pass gets you in at 4:00pm on Friday, April 7th, at No Extra Charge. You can also grab Single Day Passes for only $20 each and save $5 off the at-the-door prices on Saturday between now and 3/17/17.

Come showtime, a 3-Day Pass will set you back $50 on Friday, which is still $25 to $50 or more less than most cons that are not named The Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo charges. Friday’s day-of-show price is $20, while Saturday is $25, and Sunday is still only $15.   You can grab your passes on line by Click Here.

HOTEL:  The one thing you can always count on is that the hotel will be sold out by show time. We take over the entire hotel, and rooms seem to fill up faster every show since the motel next door raised its rates and is no longer a significant savings over the Show Hotel. Help support the show and avoid the headache of having to stay down the road by making your room reservations today. Reserve your room through our web site, or by calling The Holiday Inn reservation line at 1-877-408-4913. Remember you MUST ask for “The Cinema Wasteland Room Rate”, or they really should tell you that they are ”sold out” and have no rooms. And PLEASE only reserve as many rooms as you plan on using.

* January is the LAST Month you can submit a Short or Feature and hope to get it screened at April’s Show, so…

HOW DO I SUBMIT MY MOVIE OR SHORT FILM FOR THE CW INDY FILM FEST?:

First Rule: Your movie or short film needs to be 100% finished before we’ll consider screening it.

Second Rule: The film you submit can’t be older than a year or so old or already have DVD or cable TV distribution since we’re basically trying to help independent filmmakers get the word out about their films to our attending fans.

Third Rule: When your movie or short film is completely finished, just send us off a screener to watch and consider. (We won’t watch a “link” on the computer since we can’t screen a “link” on the computer at the show itself.) Make sure you include contact information so we can get back to you if we do decide to screen your short or feature, and patiently wait to see if we get back to you. It’s that easy.

Since we’ve always supported the independent filmmaker, we don’t do things like your average every day film festival does things. Namely, we don’t charge to screen your movie or short film and just take your money and run whatever somebody sends us. We simply watch everything that is sent to us and fit as many indy films into the weekend schedule that we can squeeze in around all the other guest related movies and events that we normally cram into a Wasteland Weekend. We do keep film submissions for up to one year’s time so if we don’t screen your film or short one show, it very well could make the next show. We do watch and tend to enjoy everything we receive but please don’t take it personally if we don’t screen your submission. Chances are it just didn’t make it into the weekend schedule because we received way too many submissions in a short amount of time and/or had more films that fit a certain theme that matches the weekend we’re currently running.

Because we don’t charge to screen your film or short, a screening does not come with free passes into the show. A pass into the CW Show however is much cheaper than any film festival submission prices.

The submission cut off date for any given CW Show is two months before the event so we have time to watch and review everything we receive. We review all submissions by their post mark date, so anything received after the cut off date will only be included if we have screening time to fill.

OK, that’s it for me this time around.

Ken

CINEMA WASTELAND MOVIE & MEMORABILIA EXPO

“The Last of the Old School B Movie Fan Conventions” April 7th, 8th and 9th, 2017 Holiday Inn – Strongsville, OH. 44136 Check us out at:  www.cinemawasteland.com

____________________________________________________________________

We here at Wasteland World Central would like to wish everyone a healthy and happy New Year!

Although things are always hectic between the October CW Show and the end of any given year, we’ve been trying to get in touch with and see if we can’t add to the Guest List for our 50th Anniversary of Night of the Living Dead Cast and Crew Reunion the past couple of months. Alas, it appears that what you see is who you’ll get. Without going into any details that will make anybody sound like they just don’t care about the fans the eleven people we have lined up is probably going to be everyone we get, and to us, there is nothing wrong with that since no other convention out there is able to get all of the Guests we have lined up.

Now we simply take a look at things and see if we can’t get a couple more Guests to add to the list this month to round things out or just stick with what we have and invite new faces to the 2017 Fall Show.

We are however ready to update a few of 16mm Films we will be screening and get some stuff posted on the CW Show web site by this weekend so take a look around when you get a few minutes and see what we have in store so far.

As usual, there’s not a whole helluva lot to say this month with the Holiday’s just wrapping up, so I’ll leave everyone with the usual batch of reminders and catch up next month with anything new to say about the Spring Show.

FRIDAY NIGHT TRIVIA:  Don’t forget about our new FRIDAY NIGHT WASTELAND TRIVIA in the hotel bar starting at 10:30pm after the Vendor and Guest Room shuts down on Friday night next show. The top three teams will split $100 in cash prizes. Well, not just cash prizes for the top three teams, but bragging rights for those top teams as well. Judging by the way they like to correct anything I get wrong on the web site, CW is full of movie fans that know their stuff when it comes to trivia, so bragging rights to the top teams is most certainly something to be proud of.

Here are the RULES AND REGULATIONS for Friday Night Wasteland Trivia –

  1. – Teams of up to six (6) players are allowed to compete, so form your team, pick a name to call yourselves, and watch a bunch of stuff between now and next April’s show.
  2. – Do Not shout out any answers to the questions or risk being disqualified.
  3. – Do Not use anything that can be used to cheat. No cellphones, reference material, iPad’s etc will be allowed. If we catch you looking at your phone before you turn in your answer, you just cost your team that round and zero points will be awarded.
  4. – Only one answer per team allowed and you can not change your answer once you’ve turned it into the hosts / judges.
  5. – Don’t answer a question and no points will be awarded, so do your best and give all the questions your best shot.
  6. – Points for each question in each round will vary so some questions will be worth more than others. The game will offer everyone a chance to earn up to 100 points total, plus a bonus round. In the event of a tie at the end of the game, a tie breaker question will be asked.
  7. – The decisions of the hosts / judges are final.

GRAB SOME C.W. SHOW SWAG:  The cool 16 ounce Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo glass and the “Wasteland is Family” t-shirt we had available at the last show are now available to order on line. You’ll find CW merchandise listed with passes and stuff on the web site, or use this handy link to order your CW Show swag today.  Click Here to Order

TICKETS:  You can grab yourself a 3-Day Pass into CW’s April 7-9, 2017 Show for only $40 if you act before 3/17/17. And a 3-Day Pass gets you in at 4:00pm on Friday, April 7th, at No Extra Charge. You can also grab Single Day Passes for only $20 each and save $5 off the at-the-door prices on Saturday between now and 3/17/17.

Come showtime, a 3-Day Pass will set you back $50 on Friday, which is still $25 to $50 or more less than most cons that are not named The Cinema Wasteland Movie and Memorabilia Expo charges. Friday’s day-of-show price is $20, while Saturday is $25, and Sunday is still only $15.   You can grab your passes on line by Click Here.

HOTEL:  The one thing you can always count on is that the hotel will be sold out by show time. We take over the entire hotel, and rooms seem to fill up faster every show since the motel next door raised its rates and is no longer a significant savings over the Show Hotel. Help support the show and avoid the headache of having to stay down the road by making your room reservations today. Reserve your room through our web site, or by calling The Holiday Inn reservation line at 1-877-408-4913. Remember you MUST ask for “The Cinema Wasteland Room Rate”, or they really should tell you that they are ”sold out” and have no rooms. And PLEASE only reserve as many rooms as you plan on using.

* January is the LAST Month you can submit a Short or Feature and hope to get it screened at April’s Show, so…

HOW DO I SUBMIT MY MOVIE OR SHORT FILM FOR THE CW INDY FILM FEST?:

First Rule: Your movie or short film needs to be 100% finished before we’ll consider screening it.

Second Rule: The film you submit can’t be older than a year or so old or already have DVD or cable TV distribution since we’re basically trying to help independent filmmakers get the word out about their films to our attending fans.

Third Rule: When your movie or short film is completely finished, just send us off a screener to watch and consider. (We won’t watch a “link” on the computer since we can’t screen a “link” on the computer at the show itself.) Make sure you include contact information so we can get back to you if we do decide to screen your short or feature, and patiently wait to see if we get back to you. It’s that easy.

Since we’ve always supported the independent filmmaker, we don’t do things like your average every day film festival does things. Namely, we don’t charge to screen your movie or short film and just take your money and run whatever somebody sends us. We simply watch everything that is sent to us and fit as many indy films into the weekend schedule that we can squeeze in around all the other guest related movies and events that we normally cram into a Wasteland Weekend. We do keep film submissions for up to one year’s time so if we don’t screen your film or short one show, it very well could make the next show. We do watch and tend to enjoy everything we receive but please don’t take it personally if we don’t screen your submission. Chances are it just didn’t make it into the weekend schedule because we received way too many submissions in a short amount of time and/or had more films that fit a certain theme that matches the weekend we’re currently running.

Because we don’t charge to screen your film or short, a screening does not come with free passes into the show. A pass into the CW Show however is much cheaper than any film festival submission prices.

The submission cut off date for any given CW Show is two months before the event so we have time to watch and review everything we receive. We review all submissions by their post mark date, so anything received after the cut off date will only be included if we have screening time to fill.

OK, that’s it for me this time around.

Ken

http://www.cinemawasteland.com

 

Gross Movie Reviews #394

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Gross Movie Reviews #394

 

Star Trek: Beyond (DVD) – So this is the third flick in the J.J. Abrams reboot of the series. The first two were amazing and fun. This entry was good but I believe made for a different audience than the first two films. With the now established young cast Spock and Kirk on two different paths but things change when they go out to a planet to investigate for the Federation and get massacred. Once on the planet they find many races of beings have been lured to the planet to be slaves to an evil force that plans on destroying the Federation and its peace keeping ways. Like I said the cast is great but this entry seems to be more for the fans of the original series than the fans of the recent films and the entries that were made in the 80s. Still hope for another entry but be prepared for a possible letdown as I give it 3 stars.

 

To All a Goodnight (DVD) – A long lost slasher film that isn’t talked about much when horror fans bring up slashers. It also surprises me that the famously creepy but talented David Hess directed this effort. It’s Christmas vacation and a few college kids have some partying to do but little they know a tragedy happened and now they are about to be victims. Victims to Santa Claus! To be honest just like ‘Body Count’ the slasher film doesn’t make a whole lick sense except for someone has decided to dress like Santa Claus to dispatch of some college kids. But if you seen that David Hess film you will wanna check this out also. I personally say it was a “lost film” for a couple reasons: a) when you think Christmas horror films? No one brings this up. (Christmas Evil, Don’t Open Till Christmas, Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, the usual) b) the film was just released on DVD/Blu-ray in the past year or so, before that I don’t remember seeing a VHS copy anywhere at any point in time. c) When at conventions you very rarely would come across a copy at an out-of-print table, maybe no demand? But if you are a weirdo like me you’ll wanna watch possibly the film that started the trend quietly “killer Santa Claus”. I give the flick that stars the beautiful Jennifer Runyon 2 stars.

 

10 Cloverfield Lane (DVD) – Sequel, unrelated film, and events happening at same time as the original found footage film that is for you to decide? This story follows a young woman who is running away from her life and gets into an accident and ends up in John Goodman’s basement. Or I should say underground bunker where it is explained the air is unbreathable above. Goodman’s character explains a possible war has broken out and he was prepared and he just happens to save the woman’s life? Goodman is just a brilliant creepy “Doomsday Prepper” as you the viewer are unsure the whole film if he is good or bad. They introduce Goodman’s neighbor also just to add tension of whether Goodman is telling the truth? But no matter what all three characters know something weird or wrong is going on up top… The movie builds up a lot of suspense and pays off big time as this isn’t your regular sequel if it truly is that? I give this little surprise of a flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Godzilla vs. Biollante (DVD) – This film basically marked a new era in ‘Godzilla’ films as this entry of the unkillable giant lizard found its way to the US in 1988. This opponent for Godzilla was a genetic engineered plant from Godzilla cells that was a plot of revenge from a scientist that lost his daughter several years ago. Sorry folks I love Godzilla films but for me this is one of the weaker of the new era. He fights a fucking plant! The only thing more boring is Mothra! I didn’t like it when it was first released all those years ago and I still don’t care for it now as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Sabotage (DVD) – Another comeback film for Arnold as he was reestablishing his action stardom a couple years back. This time Arnold plays a leader of a special team of individuals who go get bad guys that cannot be caught or taken down. But the layer to this plot is Arnold’s character is blamed by the government for stealing 10 million bucks. Eventually all the members of the team blame each other and the F.B.I. is just trying to piece together who did actually taken the money? A good action flick that for me felt like a misstep or miscasting of Arnold as he seems like second choice for this film. Go watch a better Arnold flick in ‘The Last Stand’ as I give this one 2 stars.

 

Safe (DVD) – Jason Statham is a beaten cage fighter that has gotten himself into trouble with the Russian mob. When he is about to step off in front of a train he sees a little girl being chased down by some bad looking dudes. He saves her but begins to understand this girl is very valuable to a lot of people besides the Russian mob. Think ‘Mercury Rising’ with a lot more action and fun than seriousness of the Bruce Wills thriller. Also we have some great casting here kids: Chris Sarandon as the crooked mayor, Robert Burke as the crooked police chief, and James Hong as a bad ass Asian mob boss that makes the little girl remember numbers for his business. Cannot go wrong with that as I give it 3 ½ stars.

rain

Rain (YouTube) – This isn’t a horror film by any means but it is an interesting slow burn 40 minute drama from filmmaker Todd Ernest Braley. Yeah, this isn’t in my wheelhouse like straight horror films but it is independent and it looks amazing. Kierra Hall is Ashley who has a fear of rain when she seen her parents die at a younger age. It affects her so much that when it rains she physically cannot leave her home and has a mental breakdown. The film chronicles the torture of Ashley when a several day storm blows in causes Ashley a psychotic break and eventual death. Dramatic, brilliant, a beautiful slow burn, and Kierra Hall was absolutely perfect this role in ‘Rain’. It may not be in my wheelhouse but Mr. Braley’s film was impressive as I give it 3 ½ out 4 stars. Check out: www.facebook.com/Rain-A-Short-Film-by-Todd-E-Braley-1743711622545087 for more info.

 

Misfit (YouTube) – A teenager named Cybil (I believe?) is bullied constantly by a foursome of mean girls. This foursome tortures Cybil day in and day out. Home life isn’t much better for the young woman as her mother is constantly rides her and one point in the film wishes Cybil to never be born. Well one day after school the evil foursome runs down the troubled teenager onto a porch. As they are about to light her on fire and film it on their cell phones a disfigured gentleman rushes out and chases off the mean girls. After a conversation with Cybil, he goes inside to have a conversation with an unknown figure. Cybil is intrigued and intrudes inside to confront both of them. After more fighting at home Cybil visits the two people again only to learn they have plans for her? Plans for Cybil to seek the revenge against all who ever wronged her. The film runs a little long but will find an audience among fans who love independent revenge flicks. The film is well shot by Mr. Braley but the most impressive part is the teenagers filming everything that goes on: bullying (teenagers can be cruel), teacher yelling, etc. to post it on social media. I enjoyed this realism in the film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the filmmaker go check out: www.facebook.com/toddernestbraley or check out www.facebook.com/infinitymediaproductions .

 

Incarnate (On Demand) – Dr. Ember is a scientist of sorts that has the ability to enter people’s possessed mind and help them escape. Think ‘Dreamscape’ without the wires and involves demons that just want to suck on weak souls of humans. Dr. Ember has been on the search of a demon named “Maggie” ever since this demon crippled him and killed his family in a car accident. But a young boy has become possessed and it’s not your run of the mill demon as Dr. Ember must not fear death in order to save the boy. A non-eventful demon possession film that is a half-step better than most of the PG-13 paranormal crap we are being force fed these days. For that I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Rare Exports (DVD) – An oddity Christmas tale from Finland… I think? The film was released a few years ago and its audience is still growing as it is a tale of the original Santa Claus being buried in a mountain and now is being dug up. The original Santa wasn’t what we are taught, he is a pissed off creature that snatches young kids from their beds by his elves and fed to him! While Santa is being thawed out like the alien in ‘The Thing’ his elves is snatching all the children in the surrounding village to be fed upon when he awakes. But a young kid and his father capture one of the elves in a bear pit and the adventure goes from there as they must find a way to stop Santa from awaking on Christmas. The film is bizarre, hilarious, and the ending is absolutely perfect for what it was going for as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Hardcore Henry (Blu-ray) – Sharlito Copley deserves an Oscar for this flick! The action flick will give you a fucking headache but is absolutely chaotic and awesome! Copley who plays like two dozen characters in the film is an experiment for a supernatural weirdo villain who plans on making an army. And the story is about one of the experiments/cyborg/whatever it is/Jimmy breaks out of an airplane and is contacted by Jimmy. He goes through a series of crazy shootouts, fights, etc., that can only happen in a video game. This may be the closest a movie has come to being a video game. The film reminded me a lot of the “Wolfenstein” game. The film is intense, funny, and one-of-a-kind experience that cannot be explained that can only be watched to understand! Don’t do drugs, don’t drink, or will be sick be the end of this wild 4 star movie.

 

Beyond the Gates (On Demand) – Two brothers meet up at an old video store to begin boxing up everything. Their father disappeared several months ago and the brothers see each other for the first time in a long time to decide what to do with all the stuff. They remember working and running around the store and try to keep their minds on what they are doing until the brothers found a game in their father’s office called, “Beyond the Gates”. An old scary VCR board game that was popular in the late 80s and early 90s. The brothers take it home to play after playing the tape and noticing the gorgeous host of the game (Barbara Crampton). Once the game begins, strange things begin to happen. The brothers try to quit and it won’t allow them and they even track down where it was bought at and told they must finish the game. Finish the game you live, if not their souls along with their father’s is damned forever in the game. The film has a couple fun gore scenes and is mainly for us old folks to have a fun memory of these horror related games. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Bad Asses on the Bayou (DVD) – Danny Trejo and Danny Glover are the old guys kicking ass still as they travel to outside Baton Rouge for their friend Carmen’s wedding. Once there she is kidnapped and they add a third to the team in John Amos so they can kick some bad guy ass. Nothing eventful but will always watch a film with Danny Trejo at least once these days as I give it 2 stars.

 

Fist of Jesus (You Tube) – A Spanish short film about Jesus trying to help resurrect a woman’s son, only for him to become a zombie. Next thing you know we have Roman zombies, Cowboy zombies, all kinds of zombies. And Jesus must kick zombie ass and save his friend Judas. The film was influenced by Peter Jackson and a well worth of wasting 15 minutes of your time on You Tube. But while watching notice the production, the effects, all impressive in my opinion! Check out www.fistofjesus.com as I give it 4 out of 4 gory stars.

house%20of%20forbidden%20secrets%20poster10

House of Forbidden Secrets (Vimeo/DVD) – Another horror flick from independent mastermind Todd Sheets that takes place at an office/retail building where Jacob has just become the new night security guard. All is asked of Jacob is don’t fall asleep on the job. But a strange crack in the basement wall and a séance that Jacob takes a part in sets off strange shit happening throughout the place. Supernatural beings begin to spread and corner all involved with the séance one by one including anybody that stayed late in the building. In order to survive the night Jacob and the psychic must figure out the building’s past in order save themselves in the present. Great intro, fun soundtrack, surprising cameos, great gore FX makes this a treat for Eye-talian horror film fans. The movie reminds me of ‘The Beyond’ and ‘Gates of Hell’ and just like those Fulci movies not everything will make sense but you will enjoy it for what it is. Mr. Sheets and company make sure you will take notice of what they can do with a great shooting location and their love for making an old school Eye-talian influenced horror film. I give the movie 3 out of 4 stars. Of course more about the film, Todd Sheets, or his crew check out: www.zombiebloodbath.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html