Gross Movie Reviews #377

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Gross Movie Reviews #377

 

Charlie’s Farm (DVD) – A group of four people that includes my favorite Tara Reid travel into the outback looking for a farm. This particular farm is part of an urban legend of where cannibals were gunned down by the locals’ years ago. Rumor is their fucked up cannibal son “Charlie” still roams the farm feeding on whatever may pass by and that includes the individuals looking into the legend. Once there they hook up with another curious couple about the place and they all die gruesomely. The cast is rounded out by Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder, and Nathan Jones. Australian horror films are always a lot of fun and this is no different as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Reptilian (DVD) – A South Korean film about a Yongary? But is not a remake of the older South Korean giant reptile film. With that out of the way some dinosaur bones have been discovered that are supposedly 50 times larger than a T-Rex! Once the bones are exposed aliens are alerted and bring the monster to life to kill all humans. Apparently this film was made in 1999 right after a strict policy on filmmaking in South Korea was lifted and was their answer to ‘Godzilla’? Always enjoy giant rubber monster fun as I give this flick 2 stars.

 

Bloodsucking Bastards (DVD) – A very hilarious vampire flick about a couple office slackers and their best friend who is trying to break into management. They work for a firm/company that sells the boner pills, abs-flex, etc. They phone sales people who call and try to suck you into deals for shit you don’t need. Well higher-ups have decided it’s time for a shake-up and bring in someone new who has a different way of getting the most out of his sales team. He turns them into vampires that apparently make a ton of sales and don’t complain about work conditions. When it’s almost too late the slackers and best friend realize vampires have taken over their company and they must look up on Wikipedia on how to kill them? Underrated gory awesomeness best describes this 3 ½ star horror film.

 

The Comedy of Terrors (DVD) – An absolute delightful horror/comedy from the mid-60s starring Vincent Price as a drunk undertaker who is about to be evicted by Basil Rathbone and keeps trying to feed poison to his father-in-law Boris Karloff. If that isn’t enough in order to scare up business Price’s character convinces his assistant Peter Lorre to begin murdering people so they make the rent or they all will be thrown out on the street. As usual Price is amazing and for that I give this 4 stars.

 

Captain America: Civil War (Theater) – The third film in the ‘Captain America’ series lives up to the hype and comes off more like a sequel to ‘The Avengers’ series. The whole point to the film is the team turns on each other as they pick sides of who is for saving Bucky. But the savior of the film in my opinion is the new Spidey. Or is it the old Spidey? The point is Spider-man steals the show with his onscreen antics and proves that Disney/Marvel understood they screwed up with doing the ‘Amazing Spider-man’ films. If you enjoyed the recent Marvel movies up till now you will most likely enjoy this one too. I give the film 3 stars, but the new/old Spider-man 4 stars and cannot wait to see Tom Holland in his own flick.

 

Zombie Militia (DVD) – A hilarious no budget short film from 2009 that isn’t meant to be taken serious but most horror fans know of someone or related to someone that would be the real-life version of this film… Jack is part of the ‘Zombie Militia’. They believe the government is trying to start the apocalypse, take your guns, etc. Well Jack is pumped up after the latest meeting in breaks into someone’s garage and believes he is stopping the zombie apocalypse? Filmed in Kokomo, Indiana by Squirrelly Cow Films and they can be found on Facebook: www.facebook.com/SquirrellyCowFilms . I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (DVD) – The sequel to the remake that really surprised me how much I liked it. This film has no connection to the first goes with another young woman named Katie Carter from the Midwest who has moved to New York City recently. She is model but finding it hard to get work in the big city. When faced with a decision she makes a horrible one by going to a free photographer in hopes of building a new portfolio? When the three creepy foreign dudes creep her out and she understands they just want naked pictures she leaves. So very creepy brother tracks down Katie and takes pictures of her in her bedroom and it spirals from there. The catch is they don’t rehash the first story as they go into a different direction with this rape/torture victim Katie. After her brutal rape from very creepy dude, his brother and best friend drug her, box her up, and ship her to freakin Bulgaria! Too of course do even worse shit. Once escaped, recaptured, raped, tortured horribly and left for dead. Katie is boxed up again and buried. Only to fall into abandoned sewer catacomb thingy where she scavenges for clothes and food (rat on a stick anyone?). Here she heals and plots her revenge but what also makes an interesting story is she finds a church where the priest immediately something horribly wrong has happened to this beautiful American girl. Instead of forcing God on her, he just tries to help at her pace and tries to bring the police in. But meanwhile Katie is beating a creepy dude into a shit filled toilet, cutting up another and shoving bugs and shit in his wounds, and puts another dude’s balls into a vise which by no means pretty… Again I was pleasantly surprised by the story change. Fun family entertainment folks as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

I Spit on Your Grave 3: Vengeance is Mine (DVD) – A little confusing at first but if you have seen the first film you know something is amiss as the Jennifer Hills character is now going by the name Angela. Angela is still having trouble moving on from the events of the first film. She is going to see a therapist who doesn’t seem to help but starts to go to group therapy where she meets a friend, someone to trust again, and her name is Marla. Angela and Marla become fast friends and Angela slowly opens up telling Marla her story. But Marla has rage and still wants a piece of vengeance especially sitting in group therapy and hearing the stories from young Cassie whose innocence has already been taken by her mom’s boyfriend. After sharing each other’s past lives Angela and Marla go and clobber the man that has ruined Cassie. The after effects Cassie is happy again and being treated with respect but Marla goes to visit her ex-boyfriend. A few days pass and Angela doesn’t think anything of it until she is at group therapy and told Marla is dead. Once the police can’t make charges stick Angela decides the only way to find happiness or piece of mind is through vengeance. Angela becomes Jennifer again and first on the list is Marla’s ex-boyfriend who gets penis head bitten off and his dick sliced in half like she was making some jerky. She goes completely off the range folks as she is now looking for revenge against all who have raped or even thought of rape. Including killing a dude by sticking a pipe up his ass! Interesting ending as we see Jennifer aka Angela being released after two years of jail but still has visions/dreams of slicing/dicing/torturing people. Even though the film is a little confusing at times with the dreams and name change I still surprised third entry in and it’s interesting. Fun stuff horror fans as I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Phase IV (YouTube) – The film is on DVD but I watched it for our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. This is one of those 70s films always been interested in watching but never found time or always found something better and apparently it was for good reason. Ants are evolving and suddenly get smarter as they talk to each species of ant and slowly start attacking a desert town. Meanwhile a couple scientists try to do experiments and figure out if the ants are now at the top of the food chain? The film is a bit boring and maybe not as fun as ‘Empire of the Ants’ but nothing wrong with watching 70s film that is trying to scare the shit out of you claiming the world is going to end soon… I give it 1 ½ stars.

Revenge

Revenge of the Spacemen (DVD) – A little redneck community that is invaded by large green men aka aliens who are interested in probing everyone and everything. Which in turn the anal probing from the spacemen turns things green like them? But through stupidity and chaos the rednecks and a group of twenty-somethings figure out alcohol kills the aliens and cures the townsfolk. A fun independent project that is worthy of 50s and 60s film fans seeking out and enjoying its entertaining ridiculousness! I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find it at www.revengeofthespacemen.com plus the film has a Facebook page so go visit.

 

Deadpool (DVD) – Marvel/Disney dipping their toes into R-rated comic book movies again with this hilarious origin story of a man who has lung cancer and takes on an experimental process he wasn’t supposed to survive. Or if he did his mutant power would activate and save him. Soon Ryan Reynolds goes from hunk mercenary to ugly/super mutant/superhero whether he wants to or not. So Deadpool dedicates his life finding the bad guy who fucked his face up and make him return his hunk status. I laughed my ass more and more as the film went on and loved its connection to the X-men without being connected. Marvel/Disney you did a great job kids now go get Wesley Snipes and start making another damn ‘Blade’ film!!! I give Deadpool a well-deserved 4 stars.

 

Zoombies (DVD) – I enjoy Asylum Entertainment’s refusal to go away and bring us or should I say me, another zombie adventure that deals with zoo animals. Yep, ‘Zoombies’! Apparently, when animals are faced with extinction they either die off or evolve into zombies or Zoombies. A private zoo park is taking interns to help with funding new habitats and their financial bottom-line to stay open. With all that going on monkeys strangely die and turns into Zoombies that infect other animals and want to kill humans. From there it’s complete chaos as the police and CDC try to get inside and kill the animals but find it hard when there is a Zombie-lion eating them. This is one of those movies that was perfectly made for MSTK3000, Commander USA, USA Up All Night, etc. The film is so bad its good kinda thing as I give it 2 stars just for existing.

 

Muck (DVD) – A much misleading poster and title is about a group of college-aged people being stalked on St. Patrick’s Day by albino bald dudes and then tortured and murdered. The thing is the filmmaker tried to do something a little different where the film picks up with the group already been attacked and lost a friend somewhere in the marsh or starts at the 35 minute mark. With it beginning without a beginning you do get a lot of horror cliché jokes and more boobs than a Cinemax ‘After Dark’ soft-core porn! Personally at first glance I thought I was getting something like the ‘The Raft’ segment from ‘Creepshow 2’? But nope it was a weirdo flick where Kane Hodder is the leader of these random albino dudes who stalk humans. Lots of gore and some random horror fun but the film comes off more like an incomplete movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Spell

Spellcaster (VHS/Comet TV) – Here is a lost out-of-print title from the Charles Band Empire Pictures catalog that sports a lot of cool creature creations from John Carl Buechler. And I believe it does take place at the famous Charles Band castle that was in a lot of the early Full Moon flicks. But a brother and sister combo wins a chance to stay at a castle for a weekend in Italy so they can treasure hunt for a check worth a million dollars. It’s all sponsored by Rock TV (of course spoofing MTV at the time). The strange man (Adam Ant) that owns the castle refuses to show up at meals with the contestants but soon has fun killing them off one by one. One gets eaten by a demonic chair and another is turned into a man-pig. Plus William Butler shows up long enough to get blown up in a car. And a big time music star apparently made a deal for her soul to be a rock star. The film is a little dated but us old people and Empire Pictures fans it is a prime example of Charles Band goodness when he has money to produce it. I give ‘Spellcaster’ 3 stars and like to thank John Carl Buechler for being an amazing make-up/creature effects person!

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #374

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Gross Movie Reviews #374

 

By Tim Gross

 

Vicious Lips (DVD) – A forgotten and lost film that has found its way to a DVD four-pack not long ago from the great Empire Pictures. Charles Band is an uncredited producer but something tells me he had more to do with this film from the stories I have been told by several people over the years who have worked with him? But that being said how about Greg Cannom and John Carl Buechler doing effects and the legendary Albert Pyun directing? Well that is exactly what you get in this weirdo sci-fi film where a band is traveling to a different planet to get their big break and with a new lead singer. There isn’t much else to say as I just described the whole plot of the film in one sentence. It is a forgotten gem for movie nerds to have for their collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shinjuku Incident (DVD) – Jackie Chan is a Chinese immigrant who finds himself in Japan trying to make things go his way. But the only way to make it work is steal merch and resell. Soon he becomes highly regarded by his fellow immigrants as he becomes feared by some in Japan’s local mob circles. As Jackie Chan uses the local mobs they use him to get what both want. Not your typical Jackie Chan crazy action-stunt film but an interesting film about the rise of Chinese immigrants in Japan. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Auntie Lee's

Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (VHS/DVD-R) – Let me just say this any horror film that begins with Suicidal Tendencies “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy is Dead” gets 4 stars no matter what comes next. But that just isn’t enough for this fun gem of unknown goodness! Karen Black stars as Auntie Lee, Pat Morita as the local small town sheriff, Michael Berryman as the weird dude (Larry) who takes care of the nieces’ cars after deliveries, and the very beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri may have done a lot of porn but always found a way into a stray horror film which I always enjoy finding. Teri is one of the best. But after jamming out to Suicidal Tendencies we are introduced to some lunatic who tries to carjack a young lady and becomes a victim himself for Auntie Lee. Auntie Lee for years has sold her famous meat pies to the local town folk of Penance. And these days now her nieces are all grown up they go out and lure men in for the taking. Usually if there is car trouble or car cleaning needing to be done it’s up to Larry until he is caught one day with a trunk full of bones! Pat Morita decides then with the bootleg David Bowie as a private investigator try to bring down Auntie Lee. But the real question is will the sheriff bring her in or will he become the next meat pie? Everyone is awesome in this light-hearted “Motel Hell” horror film. This movie deserves to be seen all horror movie fans as I give this fun meaty morsel 4 stars.

 

Night of the Zombies (VHS/DVD-R) – The film is also known as Part II starring the famous Jamie Gillis as a CIA agent who is sent to search for poisonous canisters after two scientists going missing. The more he searches for these mysterious canisters the more he understands he has become part of a war that never ended 40 years ago. Zombie fans may even overlook this one as the film is filled with very dull scenes but tries to make up for the lack of good film with weird, nasty looking zombie make-up which was just enough to keep me watching to the end. I give the Gillis-zombie adventure 1 ½ stars.

 

Mutilations (YouTube/DVD-R) – A funny low budget flick from the mid-80s where students and their teacher witness a spaceship flying by. When the ship lands the alien feasts on some hobos. Meanwhile the next day the teacher and students while in class debate about UFOs! So after agreeing they investigate the UFO sightings further and we are bombarded with fun scenes of Claymation and the destruction of the student body by the alien… It has that “Deadly Spawn” kind of feel to it if it helps as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

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Fun Time (DVD) – Some lucky people get invited to a night of Funhouse fun filled with clowns. If they make it through the night they get $500,000. If not, they become part of the body count. Not so much the invitees surviving as much as the clowns entertaining themselves and not paying anyone as usual. The clowns put the contestants through several torturous games in “Saw” like fashion to be one step closer to escaping. But will they as the clowns begin to turn on each other? Michael Taylor Pritt proves clowns are always gonna be an effective thing to scare the poop out of people as I give this independent feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more about the film at: www.facebook.com/OfficiallyFunTimez .

 

Unnatural (DVD) – A selection from the 2015 After Dark Horrorfest which I was surprised it was still going on? Middle of nowhere Alaska a photographer and a couple of models are doing their latest project. They just happen to be staying in a cabin with James Remar who tells the story of an unstoppable polar bear to scare the city folk. His story becomes true when people become bloody puddles of mess as a scientist (Sherilyn Fenn) is running for her life from a genetically altered polar bear who wants to fuck some humans up! A fun ‘when animal attacks’ movie that also has Ray Wise as a head honcho of an envoirmental company claiming bullshit when the polar bear kills all. I give the horror flick 3 stars.

 

The Collapsed (DVD) – The apocalypse has happened and no one is sure of how or why? A family fighting for survival out in the woods making their way to a rural area to get away from all the craziness of the big city. But something evil is stalking them and slowly they die one by one by this mysterious evil. Not the best of the recent apocalypse films but has an interesting plot twist of the mysterious evil that follows the family. The answer will make you happy you made it all the way through the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Get Trancers: City of Lost Angels on DVD!

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Available for the first time
and only on Full Moon Direct (www.fullmoondirect.com) !

In 1988, Charles Band directed “PULSE POUNDERS,” an anthology film comprised of short film sequels to the biggest hits of Empire Pictures – the first (and unseen) “TRANCERS” sequel, “H.P. LOVECRAFT’s THE EVIL CLERGYMAN,” and a sequel to “THE DUNGEONMASTER.” “PULSE POUNDERS” was shot and edited in 1988 before circumstances prevented it from being released. “PULSE POUNDERS” was thought to be a lost film. For the last 25 years, “TRANCERS” fans have clamored to see the unseen adventures of Jack Deth

TRANCERS1_5Newsletter

Recently, a “PULSE POUNDERS” work print was discovered. Charles Band and a team of experts have been working for the last year digitally restoring it and augmenting the soundtrack with music from the classic first TRANCERS film! “TRANCERS: CITY OF LOST ANGELS” stars Tim Thomerson (Jack Deth), Helen Hunt (Lena), and the rest of the TRANCERS ensemble.

 

Trancers: City of Lost Angels

Jack Deth, the super cop from the future, has put away three centuries worth of time traveling criminals. But Deth’s most dangerous collar, the ultraviolent assassin Edlin Shock, has escaped from her maximum security holding cell and won’t rest until she’s exacted revenge. Meanwhile, Deth is trying to make a life for himself as a private eye in 1988 Los Angeles with his hot-blooded girlfriend Lena (played by Academy Award winning actress Helen Hunt). Relationship troubles are just the beginning of Deth’s problems when he learns that Edlin Shock has followed him back in time. Aided by his former police chief McNulty, whose consciousness is inhabiting the body of a 13-year-old girl, Jack Deth will have to use his wits, as well as his fists, to save the past, present, and future!

FULL MOON FEATURES presents TRANCERS: CITY OF LOST ANGELS

Starring TIM THOMERSON HELEN HUNT ART LA FLEUR VELVET RHODES TELMA HOPKINS ALYSON CROFT GRACE ZABRISKE

Production Design by GIOVANNI NATALUCCI Cinematography by MAC AHLBERG Special Effects JOHN CARL BUECHLER

Music Composed by MARK RYDER & PHIL DAVIES

Written by PAUL DE MEO & DANNY BILSON Produced and Directed by CHARLES BAND

SPECIAL FEATURES

-Tim Thomerson Intro Video

-Flashback Weekend Premiere Documentary

-60-second Preview of PULSE POUNDERS DUNGEONMASTER SEQUEL!

-Pulse Pounders Show West Promo