Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up!

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This week with TIM GROSS on vacation we return and we bring on GARY HILL of the Cinema Beef podcast on for bike week. First Joe Namath, Sid Haig, and Ann Margaret cause some trouble in C.C. and Company.  Then we visit a stone cold classic in STONE COLD starring The Boz.  Then we cover a rock and roll biker jam in STREETS OF FIRE.  We also answer your questions and go over all the movies we have been watching the last week.  So download this episode or Bo Jackson will run all over that ass.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time around we dust off 3 flicks to cover.  The first being completely unknown weirdo time travel/monster jam in TIMESWEEP.  Then we have a British werewolf offering in THE SNARLING.  And finally we have a great 2000’s gem in THE CONVENT. We also talk about the tag team of coolio and bill Moseley, Late 70’s sitcoms, The Escape from New York remake.  And a ton lots more.  So download this episode or you won’t be invited to the gangsta’s paradise.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #499

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Gross Movie Reviews #499

 

Vampire Pinup Girls (YouTube) – So Kiss of Death Productions has a newer short film and with the Silvios I am always interested in what they are up too. This around the story centers on a photographer named Draven who feeds on his young models after using them for his newest project. I like the premise, solid cast, and who is behind the short film but it feels like there is no ending and comes off more of an “investment video” (Just in case you need to know: this was an actual thing years ago especially during the VHS days) or an unfinished project than a true short film project. Something tells me this may show up as an extra on one of their upcoming features as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Revolution 666 (DVD) – A 2014 film from filmmaker Matt Jaissle that has a radio DJ playing an unknown CD that was sent to him. The CD just so happens to contain a song called “Revolution 666” that was recorded by a famous band decades ago but never released. There is a whole cult that surrounds this unreleased recording! When the DJ plays the song over the airwaves it awakens a zombie in a graveyard to feast on a young lady then head over to the local Hard Rock Café. The zombie steals clothes, a knife, and a walrus mask from a display to begin his killing spree. If that wasn’t enough the DJ now has to deal with the so-called cult members who believe they are “the four horsemen of the apocalypse”. Sounds interesting saying it out loud but the film was pretty dull but will give Matt kudos for the creepy ass basement they shoot in late in the film as that could have been a great location for a better movie as I give this 1 star.

 

Raw Courage (DVD) – Ronny Cox pulls a John Saxon where he is a producer, writer, and actor for the film. Who is Ronny Cox that older asshole in 1987s ‘Robocop’ who wants to fuck everyone with OCP and his hidden prime directives on Robocop? Yeah… you remember now. Cox with two other friends are runners who come up with some crazy two day run through the desert (72 freakin miles) that will end with them showing up at some small town festival. Problem they run into some non-military weekend warrior assholes who are preparing for the oncoming war. Film was made in 1983 but hey put it in present day situation the story is actually relevant again? Anyhow, when one of the runners is accidentally killed by the weekend warriors it becomes a weekend of survival as the two survivors are just trying to get to the finish line. Something of a different thriller flick worth checking out as I give it 3 stars.

Clown Town (DVD) – Before we talk about this flick you must pronounce like me (Claun Tawn, yinzer language… you know what I am talking about.) The film claims to be inspired by true events so of course that is always a bad omen but I still gave it a chance. Years ago a babysitter is slaughtered by a boy named Ricky who dresses like a clown to do it. 15 years pass and four people heading to a concert in Ohio drive thru this abandoned town of Clinton to meet someone that has one of their cell phones. Soon the four learn this was a mistake as the abandoned town is full of killer clowns who torture and kill anyone that passes through. The town is an urban legend to surrounding counties and towns but your local serial killers who dress as clowns use it as their stomping grounds. I hated the beginning (Halloween anyone?) but after that it was a nice gory slasher that of course was better than Rob Zombie’s ‘31’ (never letting that one go.) For that I give this fun take on clown killers 2 ½ stars.

 

It Chapter Two (remake/On Demand) – 27 years have passed since the “Losers” have taken on the town legend “Pennywise”. Pennywise has haunted the town and its children every 27 years and The Losers believe they have finally killed it. But strange murders begin to happen again and the gang reunites for the final showdown. It wasn’t perfect by any means but so much a better second half than the original from 1990. Even though I give it 3 stars remember Tim Curry was still better!

 

Color Out of Space (DVD) – Holy balls was this movie out there and thank the gawd Rutger Hauer that Richard Stanley gave it to us and Nic Cage stars. Nathan Gardner and family chose to move out to the sticks recently from the city. Nathan just trying to do right by his family believes it is the right move until everything changes one night when a meteorite hits their front lawn. From there everything begins to change slowly because of the alien entity that may have been inside the space rock. Even though things are mutating Nic Cage “can handle it” as he says throughout the film trying to keep the family calm. There aren’t the right words that can possibly explain this absolutely weird but very interesting film besides it is super colorful and I am not sure I fully understood it? For that I enjoy it exists and I thank Richard Stanley for making it as I give it 3 stars.

 

Branded (DVD) – A weird Russian/American co-production film that deals with the evils of marketing to humans and their fast food habits. It begins with a child being hit by lightning and when he awakes he sees things a little different than everyone else. He uses this talent to become a marketing genius until an old guru comes along and changes thinking with different marketing no matter the cost. This causes the world to be brainwashed to go in another direction five years later. Thus Misha’s old love comes looking for him to change the balance again. Super weird shit folks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Barquero (DVD) – This 1970 film stars Lee Van Cleef as man who mostly keeps to himself that built a boat to get people across a river on a daily basis. Warren Oates is a famous criminal who wants to get his gang and silver across the river to enter Mexico before the army comes looking for them. Lee Van Cleef aka Remy refuses passage for the outlaw thus starts a standoff as Remy believes he is doing the right thing trying to save the small village his boat is at. Or for my summary: this is a lost film where Lee Van Cleef’s character from ‘A Fistful of Dollars’ and ‘For a Few Dollars More’ needed something to do in his downtime. He builds a boat, goes to the other side of the river, outlaw comes along and demands him to come back over, Remy says “nope, Remy smokes his pipe, bangs someone’s redhead wife… End of the movie and I loved it as I give it 3 stars.

 

Gunan, King of the Barbarians (DVD) – Another Italian rip-off ‘Conan’ fantasy film about twins who grow up and one is a warrior of prophecy and the other is just a bootleg version of it. After bootleg brother dies the true warrior goes about cutting through armies of stuntmen where his sword bounces off of them not cutting them to death. All this to become king, prove his strength, and I would be surprised this wasn’t an episode of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’. Not a good bootleg ‘Conan’ by any means but I believe Addison Binek has a new movie to riff as I give it a ½ star.

Snatchers (On Demand) – A teenager named Sara who is trying to be popular with her friends has sex with the hot guy Skylar she was seeing a while back. Sara awakes the next day to her surprise to find herself nine months pregnant! Backstory is its 2012 and her boyfriend went to Mexico and messed with some kind of Mexican statue of a god with a big penis. Sara asks her ex-bestie Haley for help. They head to the free clinic only to destroy the doctor’s head with Sara’s “VAGE CANNON” (her words not mine) and the bad idea becomes worse as it is a weird creature that acts like a parasite to humans. It only gets worse from there for Sara as her and Haley find out there is a second monster inside her. After the police department is destroyed by the monster chasing down Sara and Haley, the two friends find Skylar’s computer and learn of his debacle in Mexico as the two come with a plan to destroy the parasites… hopefully. Great casting of the two best friends, cool creatures, hilarious story as this film could show up on my “Best of 2020 list” as I give 4 stars.

 

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (DVD) – So Jim Wynorski takes the 1987 sequel into the comedy realm more than the serious fantasy realm where Deathstalker saves a woman, Evie, who claims to be a seer. Evie tries to explain to Deathstalker that there is a demon double of her made so the new princess can rule the kingdom with an evil sorcerer that made her. Deathstalker doesn’t take it too serious until he faces off with the evil sorcerer for his life. Lots of boobs and fun makes the typical Wynorski joint watchable as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Deep Shock (DVD) – The UN wants to shoot torpedoes into the polar ice caps to slow down global warming. But something happens during the launch at the North Pole that shuts it down and a research team is sent in for answers. The team finds out it is from an electrical surge from the giant eels that are readying the Earth for the eradication of the human infestation. The film is a non-SyFy channel flick that stars David Keith, Sean Whalen, and Mark Sheppard wow the shit I find to watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Underwater (On Demand) – So Tian Industries drills seven miles into sea for resources of course. But being so deep into the sea there has been rumors of strange events and shadows seen. The movie begins immediately with a catastrophe hitting Kepler Station as it is collapsing from the sea. Survivors make their way through the debris to decide what their next plan of action as they have 30 minutes before the whole station blows up. Problem is the survivors must walk into the unknown darkness to cross the sea floor to an undamaged station so they can get a signal out for rescue. The survivors soon learn they are not only not alone but the sea creatures that are tracking them may have been the cause of everything as one character put it “They are here to take back.” Kristen Stewart plays the lead in Nora and I absolutely hate her as an actress. Honestly we all have that actor or actress we hate but she was bearable in the film and also having T.J. Miller for comedic relief wasn’t a bad thing. I am always a sucker for creature features and this was no different in this deep sea horror as it captured the kid in me that loves these flicks as I give it 3 stars. And the creatures were pretty fucking cool!

 

Bloodshot (On Demand) – Superhero movie or not I will let yinz be the judge as I was just curious about Vin Diesel doing another action flick. Garrison is a military man through and through that always completes his mission. Garrison is seen as a perfect specimen who is the first to survive this billion dollar experiment? After being shot in the head and watching his wife die Garrison awakes in a high tech hospital where he has been given a second chance from a bio-mechanical experiment or he became “Jason X”! Yep, I said it first but anyway he doesn’t remember his past at all but after hearing “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads he is off to finish his unfinished business. Here is the twist, Garrison is being programmed to remember this as none of its true and he is a soldier being used over and over. Every time after an assassination he has his memory wiped and oh yeah he cannot be killed because he is “Jason X” (go look it up kids). It is a fun bloody action film that reminds me of ‘Universal Soldier’ and ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ as I give it 3 stars.

 

Coven: The Emergence (YouTube) – A couple of kids spot a shadowy figure out in the woods and haunted by its presence in this short film from Matthew Marasco as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Gravewater (YouTube) – Another short film from Matthew Marasco about people drinking water out of a hillside and getting fucked up by it. Apparently if sacrifice a kid you may stop something? The short film has lots of imaginary but in my opinion the film feels unfinished or possibly not seen through from script to film because budget constraints? I give the short film 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Perdition (YouTube) – Another short film from Erik Vada that is more of a thriller than horror where a criminal makes one last heist at a local bank before calls it quits. The criminal believes he has gotten away with the heist but afterward is haunted by a mysterious spirit/ghost that keeps popping up to speak with him. I like the concept and would have liked to seen it fleshed out a little more but it is an interesting enough watch especially for fans of the paranormal or subjects of life/death ideas as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

So apparently we do more podcasts when the apocalypse is happening?

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This week we give you 3 more reasons to sit your couch and listen to us yammer on about movies.   What else are you gonna do?  You are probably under quarantine anyway.  First we talk about the new release of Tammy and the T-Rex.  Then Tim talks about his buddy Henrique’s flick OUIJA ROOM.  And finally Kyle checks in with an action flick from the 90’s in JUDGMENT NIGHT.  So sit with us for over 2 hours of nonsense and remember during this time of wayward virus contamination please be a cool human to each other.  So download this episode for a free roll of toilet paper. (Offer void where prohibited)  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This virus outbreak is a really weird time we are living in.  And Kyle thought he would take a half hour and try to do something good.  So… He decided to curate a giant list of cult, horror, Sci-fi and generally weird flicks that are completely free to watch through apps available over your smart TV, roku, game console, fire stick, or a ton of other gadgets out there.  Just remember that we are all in this thing together and take advantage and maybe check out something that you’ve never seen before.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #498

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Gross Movie Reviews #498

 

Rabid (On Demand/remake) – The Soska sisters take a stab at a Cronenberg classic from the 70s and do a magnificent job! Rose Miller a shy young lady works in the fashion world where her best friend is one of the models. Unbeknownst to Rose her friend Chelsea gets the cute photographer to ask Rose to a party. When Rose learns of the set up through a bathroom conversation she runs out and gets horribly mangled in a car accident. Her face looks like someone took a weed wacker to it and the doctor doesn’t have good news for Rose. Rose moves in with her friend Chelsea and has a tough time of recovery if that is what you wanna call it until she comes upon an ad for “Transhumanism”. The Burroughs Clinic does research outside of the medical boundaries in hopes of coming up with something the world could use? If Rose fits the criteria she would not have to pay anything only to give the doctor some info through follow up visits. After Rose has the experimental surgery she is better than perfect and finds herself having strange dreams. She uses these visions or dreams to start designing and her former boss loves it so much she gets the gig of all gigs with her best friend. Bad news is Rose is spreading a super rabies throughout the city without trying. Her visions may actually be something else like her carving for blood. From there the movie only gets weirder with its love letter ending to Cronenberg as I give it 3 ½ stars folks.

 

Pet Graveyard (DVD) – To be honest I was fully expecting a ‘Pet Sematary’ reboot from the UK but it is a bootleg version of ‘Flatliners’. And didn’t Hollywood already remake that or something? A daredevil by YouTube standards is flunking out of college and convinces two other people that they can visit the other side. Sounds familiar, I know I already said it. But the point is he wants the clicks and to see his dead mother because he is all depressed and shit. They reach the other side by doing some kind of stupid thing called, “Brinking”. Or as I like to call it the writer or filmmaker had an “autoerotic asphyxia” fetish? They say certain words and think of their last memory of their loved one and poof they are in the void. But we all seen this coming because of course something is coming back for your ass because you are messing with god or shit humans are not meant to understand… For that shitty bootleg of a bootleg and yes that cat at the end was wrinkled as fuck I give 1 star.

 

Omnibus of Blood (DVD) – Another recent anthology from the “Fuzzy Monkey Films” crew. It is a collection of independent blood, guts, and sleaze from filmmakers Brad Twigg and Juan Sanchez. ‘Payment Up Front’ may have been my favorite as it reminded me a lot of Trent Haaga’s ‘Deadgirl’. Just another way for these filmmakers to get their short films seen by random people like myself and that isn’t such a bad idea as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher (DVD) – Carl Henry Jessup is a simple man who lives out in the woods alone and just hates when people trespass on his property because they just don’t have any respect. Carl loves reminiscing about the good old days but when Carl isn’t doing that he is looking for meat aka human flesh. When people trespass he hopes they are “Grade A” so he can chop them up in the basement and fry them up for dinner to feed to his woman friend Rae Lynn. But things go south real quick when Rae Lynn finds out about the secret meat. The independent film tries its ass off to have that mid to late 70s to it between how it was shot and keeping the characters interesting enough in this slow burn. It is an interesting Indy project worth checking out for 70s cinema lovers as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Evil Intent (DVD) – An older flick from one of my favorite filmmakers Glenn Berggoetz, which I haven’t had the pleasure of checking out yet. The story begins with three friends: Steph, Paul, and Kelly. Kelly is Paul’s ex-girl but claims to not have any issue with the two hooking up and making it work. Kelly has a new work friend in Tricia who is new in town but becomes best friends with the two girls very quickly as they become “blood sisters”. Steph begins to have depression issues again and forgetfulness that is starting to cause friction between Steph and Paul. Steph keeps taking the needs but nothing changes as she loses her job, sleeps all day, and depression gets worse. Paul being a trooper sticks with Steph even though it soon is not a good thing in the eyes of Kelly. The film switches moods about 3/4s the way in as the story is being told by Steph to her doctor. She goes through the details of her spiral into depression and what events happened next. I am trying not to give too much away as the movie isn’t so much a horror film as much as a solid thriller. Glenn proves even in his earlier films he is a filmmaker that should be noticed as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Zombarella’s House of Whorrors (DVD) – How to best explain this is if a bootleg X-rated episode of Elvira from the late 80s/early 90s got lost and has finally appeared on DVD for the first time. The only time it aired and was unedited with all the sleaze, trailer spots, and hilarious 1-900 number ads. Zombarella of course hosts a three entertaining films that are just jam packed with gore and sleaze and for her to poke fun at including the “Mondo Bizarro”. Just keep paying attention you will understand. But the DVD also includes lots of goodies: commentary, the full Mondo Bizarro episode, deleted scenes, and more trailers from www.sovhorror.com and for that I am thankful as I give the entertaining feature 3 out of 4 stars. (Pay attention also to the trailer titles being advertised during Zombarella’s show… Hilarious shit.)

 

Bliss (Shudder) – A young woman named Dezzy who is an artist that finds a grim blessing for her ultimate project as goes into a crazy visual world of sex and drugs. Not totally sure what is real? Dezzy feels the need for more ‘Bliss’ as she breaks out of her lack of artistry no matter the cost. No words can honestly place this film into a genre as I like to explain it as “enjoy the colors” of this wackado art project and for that I give 3 stars.

 

Love Sick (DVD) – A wonderful little independent short film about a young man named Charles who kidnaps another dude named CJ because he is with his ex-girlfriend Dora. But this isn’t your normal kidnapping as Charles conjures a demon to decide which guy is best for Dora because that makes logical sense. Nothing can go wrong here as I give this funny short film 3 out of 4 stars. Check out https://www.instagram.com/markemiliosciubba/

 

Hoodie (DVD) – Zuckerman and Gordon are the neighborhood watch guys looking into the “Hoodie” gang that has recently entered their community. They find a gang member in the park after hours and call the police. But when the police say they are too busy Zuckerman believes it is a good idea to take things into his own hands. I like the premise with the ending but wish the short film would have just went a little longer as it felt like it had more story to tell? Either way, I give this short film project from www.key13film.com 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Seoul Station (Shudder) – An animated feature that just happens to be a prequel to the wonderful international zombie film ‘Train to Busan’. An old man wanders around the train station bleeding from the neck. Mostly everybody ignores because they just figure it is again another annoying homeless person. Another homeless dude down on his luck tries to get the old man medical help? By the time people take it seriously the old man has changed and walked away attacking humans. The virus spreads quickly but this is just subplot as a father is looking for his daughter in the zombie infested city. This twist in the plot is very interesting but not enough to keep this feature looking even close to watchable compared to ‘Train to Busan’ as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

 

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast finally dropped three new episodes for your listening pleasure!

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This week we get into 3 more weirdo flicks.  The first being the return of Full Moon Pictures and the first of Charles Bands’ deadly ten in NECROPOLIS: LEGION.  Then we travel to Italy to cover A film by Dario Argento in Lucio Fulci’s’ THE WAX MASK directed by Sergio Stigalevetti (If that makes any kind of sense at all).  And lastly we go to the great continent of Australia for a brilliant flick NEKROTRONIC.  All this plus we have the end of football chat, the new Jay and Silent Bob joint,  Murder She Wrote, The unknown survival of The Trailer Park Boys and Tim’s rejection to it, The new Rambo flick, And more nonsensical chat than you can shake a Spookies Blu-ray at.  So download this flick or hipster vape pen will explode.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 This time around on the show we cover 3 more fine flicks.  First we have An independent offering called CLOSE CALLS, Then we travel back in time to cover a Herschel Gordon Lewis masterpiece in THE WIZARD OF GORE. And finally we all catch up with one of the best movies from a couple years ago that none of us checked out in THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE.  We also chat about “Bloody Disgusting guy’s douchy tweets”, Kyle goes to the theater with dad to see the awesome 1917, Tim’s continued hatred of the SyFy Channel, And we play a new game called ” Nic Cage movie volleyball”  So download this episode or Nic Cage will steal your car.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return to cover 3 more movies we found in the gutter.  First we return to the much troubled Terminator franchise to talk about TERMINATOR: DARK FATE.  Then we check out a flick from deep inside the Philippines called VIRGINS FROM HELL.  And lastly we check out bikers vs. the establishment in the movie THE NORTHVILLE CEMETERY MASSACRE.  Also we chat about Pittsburgh basketball history,   Kobe Bryant’s death, exploding beards, Netflix series DRACULA, and we play a game called “Assemble you own Avengers style movie squad game” So download this episode or your helicopter will crash.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Three new books have just been released!!!

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All now available online at www.lulu.com and I will have copies at Cinema Wasteland and Grossfest… Possibly a couple other small shows later this year! This shit will make your brain melt most likely so ENJOY! And yes Thomas Berdinski I told you I was writing three books.

Grossfest 3 Movie list announcement!

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Grossfest 3

July 25th, 2020 Saturday Movie List

(Vendor areas open at 11am and close 7pm that day)

 

“So why not start your day with a quick Grossfest workout?”

Hexercise – 11:05 – 11:25am

 

“Then the movie room really gets going!”

Suck Fest – 11:30 – 12:25pm

Circus of the Dead – 12:30pm – 2:45pm (1 hour and 45 mins with 30 min Q and A afterward with Billy Pon and Bill Oberest Jr.)

Do Not Disturb – 2:50 – 4:20pm

Grossfest award for short film – 4:30pm – 6:35pm

Grossfest award for feature film

And Grossfest lifetime achievement award

A M3owy St. Patrick’s Day and a special Steve surprise –

6:40 – 8:00pm (Steve Rudzinski intro)

Spirit Animal- 8:05- 9:25pm (Maddie Deering intro)

Blood Freak – 9:30 – 10:45 pm (Daniel Boyd intro)

We close the movie room at 11pm and of course movies are subject to change!

SO FILMMAKERS WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR BEST FEATURE AND BEST SHORT FILM. SUBMISSIONS WILL BE TAKEN TILL JUNE 1ST SO CONTACT ME. THERE IS NO FEE , I JUST NEED A PHYSICAL COPY TO ENTER!

Gross Movie Reviews #496

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Gross Movie Reviews #496

 

Frozen Sasquatch (DVD) – It is weird this recent Mark Polonia film just didn’t do it for me. Maybe it is just me? Or maybe it was because Mark was more of a hired gun on this production than a true old school Polonia Brothers production? Anyway three research scientists are sent to a secret lab in the Himalayas where contact has been lost. There is concern this has something to do with the odd creature the team recently found. Everyone involved wondered if they truly had a Yeti but didn’t get much time to celebrate. When the three arrive they find the facility in disarray and eventually figure out there was ‘Yeti-experiments’ which of course pissed the creature off. Again this film just didn’t sit right with me. Hopefully you feel differently as I could only give it 1 star.

 

Killer Yacht Party (DVD) – A terrible movie about a club owner who rents out a yacht that hey, it’s haunted, to make more money. But a bitter drug dealer makes his way onto the ship to fuck things up for Brock the club owner. Problem is the ghost or whoever kills Brock’s girl toy and the drug dealer is caught red handed. From there Brock goes into a drug filled rage and people that paid to be on the ship are getting killed off one by one especially if they are trying to bump uglies in parts of the ship. All you need to know is the movie look like it was gonna be bad as soon as the opening credits came on as I give it a ½ star.

 

Southern Shockers (DVD) – A mid-80s low budget film about three men showing up late for church service. Of course the preacher doesn’t take to kindly to tardiness and begins to speak to these men during his sermon. These three men are forced to face off with their demons so is the preacher a witch or is he using God’s power to punish them? Interesting flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Halfway House (DVD) – A 2004 film about young women missing from a halfway house for troubled girls. But when police go poking around there is no evidence to be found and Mary Woronov assures the authorities they have nothing but the girls’ wellbeing in mind. Larissa convinces a young sexy officer to go undercover because her sister is one of the missing girls. This way undercover she can get to the bottom of what is going between the girls, Woronov, and the weird priest. Larissa doesn’t find out a whole lot while undercover exception of all the weird unholy sexual acts that go down but there is a far more sinister secret and it has to do with Cthulhu! A great sleazy film that involves Cthulhu and seems to only hire actresses with nipple rings? Great stuff to track down kids as I give it 3 stars.

 

Sleepless Nights (DVD) – An anthology with several people involved: Jeff Chitty, Mike Gordon, Tony Masiello, Leslie Monk, Amanda Peyton, Andrew Rolston, Todd Sheets, and Brad Twigg where their stories are being told by a little girl to her babysitter during the Halloween season. The babysitter claims to scare easily so the little girl goes on about haunted houses, zombies, plumbers performing exorcisms, a man with an afro who is sword fighting a weirdo that shoots lightning bolts from his butt, psycho drivers, and vampires. While this is all going on the kid and babysitter are being stalked inside the home for the wraparound. This was actually a pleasant surprise with no bad stories in the bunch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ninja Zombie (DVD) – This is supposedly a lost film from 1992 about a man named Mr. Sands who has access to an ancient artifact that could give an individual great power. Since a gang of ninjas are stalking Sands he decides to pay a guy 50 or 60 bucks to bring his kung fu fighting best friend back from the dead to fight the gang of ninjas known as ‘Red Spiders’ and their evil leader. The movie is far from great and suffers from editing issues but is one of those grab the beer and watch with friends’ kind of film as I give it 2 stars.

Suck Fest (DVD) – BPO Films is at it again with their latest project which is a documentary or mockumentary (depending how you look at it) about the three talented fellows(Ben, Blake, and Ryan) taking a trip to a horror convention to promote their film “Slaughter Drive”. The film isn’t so much about the convention as much as it is about the three friends’ relationship as it breaks down quickly once they hit the road to the hotel and they lose luggage, stolen credit cards, stuff goes missing, too much coffee, not selling shit at the horror convention, and one of the three thinking they were going to kick each other in the balls to settle a dispute! The film isn’t just funny but a laugh a minute as these fellows show off even more of their comedic side in their documentary (sort of?) as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. THIS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT GROSSFEST 2020 for the first time ever. Go check out www.bpofilms.com and get to know this great group of independent filmmakers.

 

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (Theater) – Fresh off of “Suicide Squad” it looks like DC has decided to play it smart and avoid the Batman and Superman thing and let the story organically move along. Keeping with the theme of Harley Quinn the film not only allows you to dive head first into the storyline of Ms. Quinn but get the viewers’ up to speed of how cool this character is and can be for future films. Yes we know Margot Robbie is perfect for the role and has broken up with the Joker for good this time but it is more about how she gets through this tough time. Or mainly needing help from a group of women who eventually become the “Birds of Prey” to defeat an evil prick in Roman Sionis aka “Black Mask”. Harley wanted by all who she has wronged must find a way to not only help a little girl who just swallowed a very expensive diamond but work with a team. The movie is very entertaining and can easily be seen that this is just the beginning of the Harley Quinn movies as she is definitely one of the more interesting characters in the DC universe. I believe this was a much better story for the character to blossom than the “Suicide Squad” version. It’s not perfect but enough fun for me to keep hope that they will get Margot Robbie in the original Harley costume for one of these upcoming films as I give this Harley movie 3 stars.

 

Deep Freeze (DVD) – So I found this early 2000s flick directed by the legend John Carl Buechler about a drilling company called Geotech in Antarctica. Apparently this company is drilling for oil… supposedly. After the last shaker crew members begin to disappear as the interns show up to investigate Geotech to be sure they are not doing harm to the environment. The biggest problem is Geotech wants to cover up what they actually and it is an ancient parasite creature that is now feasting on all who are in the facility. Look closely at some of the scenes kids cause yes it is footage they took from John Carpenter’s The Thing for mostly exterior shots. I thought I was seeing things until I paused the movie and looked it up on the Google machine and I yep someone was like ‘fuck it, we are just going to steal their footage to fill this low budget mess in’. I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Creature (DVD) – Another early 2000s sci-fi flick that I got excited when seeing John Savage and Martin Kove were starring in it but my movie boner was stolen away slowly in this boring but bloody creature feature. A black ops team is sent into a Rocky Mountain secret base where the team has 16 hours to find out what happen to the experimental, genetically modified creature and scientists. If anyone is found alive well they are a cleanup crew so no one is allowed to survive. A scientist unlocks a secret from an ancient stone that fell from the sky that has intelligent alien life. I like the plot, I like the two main actors, but it’s mostly uneventful filler as I give it 1 star. By some chance you do go looking for it your best chance is looking for it under its other title “Alien Lockdown”.

The Snarling (DVD) – Oh this film was an absolute treat to watch. The film takes place in a small UK village where a zombie film is using many locations in the village to film. As their lead actor causes issues with the crew, crew members begin to be brutally massacred. But never let a few murders get in the way of finishing a horror movie as producers hire three locals to be extras in the film. A funny thing happens as crew sees the three and the one they call Les Jarvis just happens to be the film’s lead actor’s doppelganger Greg Lupeen. Since Greg is such a pain in the ass the crew uses Les to finish some shots. While this is all going on the authorities believe Greg is the main suspect as the bodies begin to pile up. There is a good amount of gore, a funny looking werewolf, and an abundance of hilarious dialogue between Les and his two friends at the pub. One of the funniest werewolf/zombie films you will ever watch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Two new books I just had published and awaiting for you to read!

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