Gross Movie Reviews #519

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Gross Movie Reviews #519

 

Bloodfist V: Human Target (DVD) – This time around Don “the Dragon” Wilson stars as Jimmy Stanton who wakes up in the hospital with amnesia. The super-hot Denice Duff is paid $500 to go into his room and claim to be his wife to take him home after he wakes. Quickly she gets involved in something much bigger as some mob guys come by at every opportunity to kill Jimmy. As Jimmy tries to figure out who he truly is the NSA comes a knocking to explain he was undercover as part of a Chinese smuggling organization. Not knowing who to believe as usual he goes out on his own with Ms. Duff to clear his name and kill every bad guy in his way! A fun and hilarious direct-to-video bootleg of Steven Segal’s ‘Hard to Kill’ with no real serious villain as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist VI: Ground Zero (DVD) – In this entry Don “the Dragon” Wilson is an Air Force officer who is delivering classified material to a missile complex. Instead of a simple delivery he stumbles into a siege in progress on the missile site to set off a nuclear war. Eventually Mr. Wilson makes his way into the highly secured underground facility to save the day as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (DVD) – Don “the Dragon” Wilson is Jim in this entry into the series where it teaches you not to pick up strange hot blondes in a bar. After a night with the hot blonde Jim is accused of being a cop murderer and Steven Williams is on the job to track Jim down to bring him to justice. Jim must not only clear his name but bring down the drug ring within the LAPD as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bloodfist VIII: Hard Way Out (DVD) – The last entry for Mr. Wilson has him as a high school teacher with a past in the CIA that catches up to him. Assassins are out to kill him as part of a cleanup operation as his former boss is expected to be declared the new head of the CIA. He heads over seas to keep his teenage son safe but that only slows the CIA down for a day before they catch back up as I give this last entry for “The Dragon” 2 stars.

 

Bloodfist 2050 (DVD) – This 2005 entry into the series made eight years after the original series is a Filipino post-apocalyptic film set in L.A. 2050 that begins with some stock footage of 80s Filipino post-apocalyptic films. Then we are introduced to a young man named Alex that when he isn’t banging the local stripper he gets wrapped up in a famous fighting ring. This is supposedly going to help him find his brother’s killer and make some money along the way. The film is kinda of dull and been done before aka the first ‘Bloodfist’ movie, this entry just has a lot more boobage in it as filler scenes with a few strippers dancing as I give it 1 star.

 

The New Mutants (On Demand) – This was that forgotten or shelved supposedly horror film starring mutants that we all wondered about but weren’t really excited about. If bored, the film isn’t that bad as teenage mutants are sent to an asylum that is funded by the Essex Corporation for scientific research. The teens are told it is for their own good but as a new mutant is introduced into the group they are being haunted by their own fears and must ban together to defeat their fears. This film just comes off as a misfire more than a bad movie and most likely besides being caught up in the whole Fox/Disney takeover was just a rushed project as it seems like the ‘X-men’ phase of superhero films were ending??? Anyway it is still worth a watch if you can’t find much else as I give it 2 stars.

 

Jiu Jitsu (On Demand) – If your brain needs something like a ‘Hardcore Henry’ to fulfill that feeling this might be the project for it? A weird comic bookish story about an interdimension being that comes to Earth every six years at this ancient temple to fight the best warriors alive. If the warriors disagree or do not fight the being it will just destroy the Earth. Seems simple enough as when all the crazy MTV action fight scenes are not happening with Tony Jaa and others we get just enough crazy Nic Cage to keep you interested till the end. The action film is entertaining and filled with some good fight scenes but the ‘hero’ character of the plot isn’t someone I feel fans will care about and hurts the film overall. I still give it 2 ½ stars for all its action but I would say check out ‘Triple Threat’ before you get ass deep into this movie.

 

Terminator: Dark Fate (DVD) – You can make fun of me for watching the whole ‘Bloodfist’ series for no reason. But for those who are fans of this series of films you know this series was done after the third entry, correct? ‘Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines’ the most pointless film ever made! This sequel/reboot tries its best to be pointless but really seems to recycle the storyline we just digested in ‘Terminator: Genisys’… I personally just watch the films because of Arnold but if you are just looking for something dumb to watch here you go! Spoiler alert: Skynet does not exist any longer and it is now called Legion. Not saying but just saying this should have been done when they decided to make the third film. Hey Hollywood if you are going to do this again just give us the humans vs. terminators post-apocalyptic war film in 90 minute form otherwise it is just dumb as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Llamageddon (DVD) – This wonderful creation is about an alien llama that crash lands on Earth in a small community and begin its takeover! When the llama isn’t stomping a victim with its hooves it is killing people with its laser eyes. Yes, you heard me correctly people when its shoots lasers from its red eyes fireworks go off. The alien llama stumbles upon a house party of young people where it begins killing them one by one but also spits on one party goer to have him begin a transformation. This independent film has it all folks and I absolutely laughed my ass off as the alien llama tries to destroy us all! If that isn’t enough pay attention to their drinking game as the character Dan changes shirts in every scene (17 times if I counted correctly?) I cannot thank filmmaker Howie Dewin enough for giving us this amazing gem of cinema as I give it 4 stars all the way!

 

Fatman (On Demand) – So what do you do with a super racist actor that may have ruined his career forever? How about have him play the role of Chris Cringle aka Santa Claus. This isn’t your typical holiday film as a young man is given a lump of coal for Christmas and this upsets him to the point of hiring a hitman to kill Santa Claus. If Santa doesn’t have enough to worry about he has to take on a government contract in order to make ends meet so he can continue giving good boys and girls presents once a year. This holiday film goes far off the reservation in this dark comedy to bring a holiday story that is just perfect for us weirdos. Santa isn’t your typical jolly red coat figure we all remember he is portrayed as a normal old guy just trying to get by with what he has. Difference is this Santa has been doing it for hundreds of years and I refuse to describe more of the movie because I like how the story tells you just enough to explain everything quickly to keep the flow going. This holiday gem gets 3 ½ stars and will most likely become a yearly watch for me.

Piranha Sharks (DVD) – Think sea monkeys kids! A science project gone wrong and now the military no longer interested in the project presents a problem: what to do with the piranha sharks? How about sell them as the hottest new product to get through an infomercial? And that is what two weird idea guys come up with as they sell them by the millions becoming rich overnight. But of course things quickly go wrong as the piranha sharks are reproducing out of control and starting to attack people anytime the water is turned on. Not even Jose Canseco pleas for his favorite thing can stop a couple exterminators from coming up with an idea to save New York City! Even a mayor played by Kevin Sorbo (who is Winnie the Poohing it around the office)  hopes the exterminators come up with an idea to save them all before all out nuclear assault as I give the entertaining film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #518

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Gross Movie Reviews #518

 

Frankenstein Created Woman (DVD) – A wonderfully crafted Hammer twist on the Universal classic that stars Peter Cushing as the Baron of course. The Baron with his injured hands has an assistant who is also a doctor but feels the Baron is far superior in his thinking of the human anatomy. The Baron’s goal is to ‘conquer death’… Where have you heard that before? He believes he has come up with an invention that holds onto the soul and transfers it to a different body while the other body is being repaired. The Baron’s younger assistant is excused of murder and is to be executed by beheading. The young man’s girlfriend sees this and throws herself from a bridge both dying about the same time. The Baron of course uses this to prove his experiment works. Things are quiet afterward as the experiment seems to work perfectly fine until murders of those who are the true murderers begin to happen. This film ends on an excellent horrific climax that makes the movie for myself and I am sure many others a regular watch in their collections as I give it 4 stars.

 

From Beyond the Grave (DVD) – An anthology from the early 70s that stars Peter Cushing as an old antiques dealer who sells possible cursed objects to the public (Thank you Friday the 13th TV series). The film feels like a TV movie of sorts that also has a who’s who of UK actors. People come into the shop to purchase an item with the wrong intentions and meet a grisly doom as I give this fun treat 3 stars.

 

Stairs (On Demand) – Just in case you go looking for this newer flick it also under the title ‘Black OPS’. A small military strike team is warned by a dying woman “Don’t go down…” but the team forges ahead anyway. With the mission done and the team returning to base things are not as they appear as they keep opening doors to the mission they just accomplished and continuing to walk stairs to nowhere. One by one each of them die but is this hell? A different dimension? Can they correct the wrong? This is one of those projects that can be tough to pull off as there are some good things here and bad. Biggest issue is the film does get dull quickly which I believe hurts a rewatch of the project as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist (DVD) – Don “the Dragon” Wilson stars in this Corman produced bootleg of the popular ‘Bloodsport’. Wilson/Jake gets some bad news from Manila where his brother has been kickboxing and may have gotten in with the wrong people. Jake finds out his brother was killed by the “Red Fist” boxing club and now wants revenge but the only way for him to accomplish that is enter the “Ta Chang” or the competition that is to the death. This film did not age well and hell now looking back was not a good bootleg version of JCVD’s ‘Bloodsport’ as I give this 1 star.

 

Bloodfist II (DVD) – Don “the Dragon” Wilson returns as Jake the Kickboxing champ of the world who is trying to help out an old friend but gets kidnapped for some secret death tournament. Or as I like to call it bootleg ‘Bloodsport 2’. The action and the fights are much better choreographed for this sequel. The film is not nearly as choppy or lagged down as the first film but if you are going for early 90s action choices there is still much better to pick from as I give this sequel 2 stars.

 

Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight (DVD) – So now the series shifts away from the death tournaments for Don “the Dragon” Wilson and he’s playing a different character named Jimmy. Jimmy finds himself in prison and his cellmate is Richard Roundtree and oh yeah Jimmy just happens to be the issue of the civil unrest inside the prison. Jimmy just killed a main drug supplier inside the prison after killing a friend of Jimmy’s. Jimmy now must fight for his life around every corner as the warden likes to treat all the inmates as animals to keep them on edge. Again improvement over the first two movies as there is much more action and feels like there was an actual story here as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist IV: Die Trying (DVD) – Don “the Dragon” Wilson and the lovely Amanda Wyss star in this action film about Danny repossessing cars and his 10 year old daughter not happy with it. But one afternoon after he gets a BMW back to the office his crew gets shot up by some unhappy fellows looking for Easter candy. Now Danny must find out why as he is on the run from authorities and find out why they have kidnapped his daughter? This seems to be ‘Bloodfist’ hitting its direct-to-video stride as in the early 90s you could find almost every week a new movie like this starring JCVD, Dolph Lundgren, etc., as I give the fourth entry in this series 2 ½ stars.

 

Tarantula (DVD) – This mid-50s B-movie classic is famous for two things: the giant spider attacking the desert town and Clint Eastwood making an appearance as a jet fighter pilot in the film. Anyhow a couple of scientists are using radioactive isotopes as part of their experiments that makes everything grow. After a struggle with his partner a giant spider gets loose and starts feasting on the local cattle as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Alien Presence (DVD) – In another tale of shirtless sexy males David DeCoteau brings us a story about college students brought to a government house where a young man is in a coma to be studied. What they all don’t know is the young coma patient is an alien named Wilks. A young scientist (Dr. Lyons) awakens the being and shuts off communication to see what happens or a controlled experiment. No cool death scenes, hell no one really dies but as usually if you need to fill your quota on shirtless males or unusually long shower scenes by males then this is the film for you as I give 0 stars. Sorry David I like my horror movies to have someone dying but again this is no ‘D.B. Cooper vs. Bigfoot’?

 

Direct To Video: Straight to Video Horror of the 90s (DVD) – An excellent documentary from filmmaker Dustin Ferguson who brings together an abundance of critics, actors, and filmmakers to discuss not just their films but how this whole genre got started in the 90s. They discuss their favorites and how Hollywood and media was changing at the times and yes Charles Band gets a lot of credit as I give this really cool documentary 4 stars.

 

Assassin X (DVD) – A promising action film starring everyone from B-movie fame where Olivier Gruener is Steele. Steele is an assassin that does not kill with guns or knives but his chemistry degree. First half of the movie plays out like a bad version of ‘The Mechanic’ and the second half just goes completely south as Steele tries to walk away from the business to bang a young lady that is twice as young as him and his boss is not happy. Love the cast of the film but was super disappointed in what the film was as it could have been so much more fun as I give it 0 stars.

 

Dinner With a Vampire (DVD) – A thousand year old vampire is awakened by a film crew only to be eaten by the vamp of course. Several years later the old vampire (Mr. Jurek) is a famous horror movie director who has grown old of his life. So for his latest project producers cast four new stars that is to meet at Jurek’s home to kill him. Jurek explains to the budding young stars that he is tired of the routine of being undead. The newbie stars must either kill Jurek before dawn or eventually become bloodsuckers themselves. There is some corny fun humor to the flick but be warned no one dies as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Return to Splatter Farm (DVD) – 33 years has passed since the S.O.V. classic was unleashed and we finally have a sequel that involves the Polonias again. A young woman named Bobbi has inherited the “Death Farm”. So Bobbi and a few friends head out to the infamous farm to decide what she wants to do with the property. With their presence it does not take long for Jeremy to be awaken and slaughtering young humans again. It is a fun and relaxing take on the original that doesn’t disappoint S.O.V. fans as I give it 3 stars.

Becky (On Demand) – We have two parallel stories going on in this deliciously brutal film that centers on a young girl named Becky. First, Becky and her father are in disagreement as usual since her mother’s death. Now, it is being forced upon her that dad has found a new woman and wants to be a family. Second, we are introduced to a couple of inmates who are super Neo-Nazis that have escaped transport heading to this isolated home in the woods looking for a hidden key. After another argument Becky runs off into the woods shortly after the inmates come a knocking for some bad ass mean shit to go down. The Neo-Nazis find out that Becky has the key so they try to make a deal but Becky refuses after watching her father being killed. From there we go into a downward spiral into some brutal scenes of revenge as Becky fights back. We get a sick eye gouge that requires the eye being snipped off, a new way to use school pencils, and a little girl (Becky) getting heart punched! The film is just plain screwed up and I loved it as don’t be surprised this sneaks its way into my “2020 top ten” as I give it 4 stars.

Sputnik (On Demand) – It is 1983 and two cosmonauts are doing the usually checks during their space mission when something happens. Their ship crash lands and Russian authorities find one alive and one dead. They are brought to a secret facility and a psychologist is brought into evaluate Konstantin Veshnyakov the lone survivor. But the military let the psychologist in on something Veshnyakov has brought something back with him and this is why the hero has not been allowed to go out in public in Moscow. It is a slithering being that will eat humans to survive. The good doctor intrigue by how the being and the cosmonaut are surviving she digs deeper what is exactly going on? The Russian military of course want her to figure out how to separate the two so they can use the alien being for military use. This slow burn Russian flick has its horror moments and does not go exactly the way I thought which makes this an excellent find horror fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

Tremors: Shrieker Island (DVD) – Burt Gummer is back one more time to fight Graboids as Richard Brake has brought in juiced up Graboids to hunt on a private island. When the hunt doesn’t go so well and people who are indigenous to the island are in trouble it is Gummer brought to the rescue. But the Graboids and shriekers are juiced up so their behavior is different making much more difficult for Burt including not having much in weapons. As usual a lot of fun, cool Graboids, and you can never get enough of Burt Gummer as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

This week’s show we compare two recent horror movies with the same title.

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This week we return with 4 movies that looked interesting to us… but will it be interesting to you?  First Tim picked an independent anthology flick called SCARE ME, but then he found another movie with the same title on shudder so we thought to save confusion we’d say fuck it and cover both movies.  Then John picks a hidden sci fi gem featuring Bruce Campbell in Sean S. Cunningham’s TERMINAL INVASION.  And finally Kyle picks yet another movie about gentrification in Netflix’s new jam VAMPIRES VS. THE BRONX.  we also chat about this week’s match up of the browns vs. the Steelers and the shit show that ensued, we talk about the new werewolf jam The Beast of Snow Hollow, and finally Tim and Kyle return from filming HELL VAN in Kent Ohio and have lots of stories… especially the time he played sex-bot 2000.  We also have the weekly viewing that was, listener questions, and a ton of other things.  So download this episode or people will never realize that The Mortuary Collection is better than Creepshow.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

We got a couple more episodes for yinz!

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This week we return with 3 more strange flicks to mull over.  First we talk about a true hidden gem that you should all check out in 1979’s coming of age/Blaxploitation flick YOUNGBLOOD.  Then Kyle talks about a true Hollywood classic NIGHT OF THE HUNTER.  And Tim chats about a truly weird Eye-talian flick called BLOOD DELIRIUM.  We also talk about where to eat pizza.  The sights and sounds of Pittsburgh, That time Steven Segal made the best 6 minutes of movie history quite by accident, Kyle crossed the Swayze line, and a lot of other stupid shit.  We also have you listener questions, we list our favorite 80’s action flicks, and we see what the news is brewing.  So download this episode or Segal will break all of your teeth out with a cue ball wrapped in a bar towel.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This time around we once again bring you three more strange and bizarre flicks to melt your face.  First Tim picks “the deadliest movie ever made” in ANTURM.  Then we pay respects to the best graboid hunter of them all Bert Gummer in TREMORS 2: AFTERSHOCKS.  And finally we have a groovy zombie movie from overseas in THE LIVING DEAD AT MANCHESTER MORGUE.  We also cover topics such as our favorite 90’s action flicks, Kyle and john’s weird Christian slater obsession, Kyle’s hatred of the Scream franchise, and we also cover your listener questions and we read all the news.  So download this episode or we will never get that Nightbreed series we’ve all been hearing about for the last 15 years.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Two new podcast episodes for your listening pleasures.

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This week we return with 3 very different movies to discuss.  First we chat about a Clint Eastwood crime flick in TIGHTROPE.  Then Tim picks UNCLE PECKERHEAD as only Tim could. And finally we cover our very first Santo flick in SANTO AND THE BLUE DEMON IN ATLANTIS.  Also we get around to talking about such things as T-Shirts and where to get them, why Tim looks like an asshole to random people, Captain Kirk and the proper way of punching aliens in the dick, And a dozen of other topics.  We also answer your questions and run down what we all have been watching this week.  So Download this episode of Spock will get all horny.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return to talk about some T&A flicks and we are bringing with us T-Shirt Joe. First we got a pretty weird Animal House rip-off in KING FRAT. Then Joe brings the heat with 1987’s PRETTY SMART. And finally we chat about 1979’s H.O.T.S.  We also lament the cancellation of Halloween, How to identify and understand what random John Wayne your Dad is watching on television,  The new greatness of Korean zombie flicks and a ton of other hot topics.  So download this episode of all those poor seals will die.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #517

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Gross Movie Reviews #517

 

Scare Me (Shudder) – So this was the other horror film released this year with the same title ‘Scare Me’ where two strangers meet in the middle of nowhere to tell each other stories. Fanny and Fred meet while jogging one morning. Fanny – the best-selling scary and Fred – some random dude who works on ads and tries to get away from real life to see if he can make his dream happen? A power outage sends Fanny over to invade Fred’s space or cabin to order pizza and tell stories to each other. This would have made a great teleplay to play out on radio that I have listened too on many Friday nights driving back from Cinema Wasteland. I know I am going to catch heat for this popular film. But if you like an over 100 minutes of two actors who are reading a script to you the viewer and Chris Redd from SNL does cocaine halfway through for a break then you’ll be in your glory! I personally found the movie meh and not for me but I believe this was a film literally aimed at a certain audience and that was it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Reflection (YouTube) – A super creepy short film from filmmaker Philip Brocklehurst where a man looks into the mirror too long and sees another reality. Scary thought is the other reality wants in more often than not as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tales of Frankenstein (Vimeo/DVD) – This is an anthology that is a little different and interesting for ‘Frankenstein’ fans. Donald F. Glut takes some of his short stories he written and turns them into a film that Victor Frankenstein is the running theme throughout the anthology. The stories are set from 1887 to 1957 and vary throughout: the first story gives us an origin and a love story, the second is about greed, the third is a film noir involving a detective and a mad doctor, and the last story gives Frankenstein fans a little of everything including being set in Transylvania. I absolutely enjoy the twist on an old monster and its tales and doing it in the format of an anthology works brilliantly! A couple decades ago the film ‘Frankenstein Unbound’ proved you can tell a perfect story differently and if anything add to its mythology. Mr. Donald F. Glut does this without effort but my only complaint is the film looks way too clean (if that makes any sense to yinz film junkies)? Cinema fans this independent anthology is worth tracking down and making it a part of your collection and for friends to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Big Freaking Rat (DVD) – This film is a prime example of an idea that could be so awesome but ruined because nothing was totally seen through and looks more like crap just being thrown at the wall. Now I never expect an amazing giant rat movie every time out but I do expect a legit fun rat movie and this was not it. The film stars Felissa Rose a favorite among most horror fans who stars alongside a park ranger named Chief Brody who has supposedly help clean up a camping destination that was abused for years. Unbeknownst to him because two hillbillies dumping toxic waste into the lake a “Big Freaking Rat” is running around beheading humans and munching on their flesh to live. Before he can ever get the camping site up and running he must deal with the large rodent issue as it quickly boils down to teenagers and an exterminator vs. a large rat which was done with practical effects most of the time. Instead of keeping it simple and giving us a long lost SyFy Channel flick we get a movie that has you asking way too many questions during it instead of enjoying the “Big Freaking Rat” as I give it 1 star.

 

Theater of Blood (DVD) – An absolute gem of a film starring Vincent Price who is a stage actor about to make a comeback. His critics were so rude and shitty to the great Shakespearean actor he commits suicide in front of them. Two years go by and the critics start dying of horrible deaths in Shakespearean ways. Some of them believe the great play actor has returned from the grave but the authorities have trouble believing the story. But as the bloody bodies keep piling up they need to close this case before all the famous London critics are dead. This was my first time watch and like ‘House on Haunted Hill’ it just seems Vincent Price does his best work when the filmmakers allow him just be Vincent Price. Some decades have passed since this film’s release but this is an absolute treat for any horror movie fan as Vincent Price playfully allows his goons to destroy his critics until the ultimate climax! I just smiled how wonderful this film was from beginning to end as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Mummy (DVD) – This 1959 remake of the Universal Pictures classic got many people to pay attention to Hammer films as it stars Peter Cushing as John where his father, friend and himself discover a long lost tomb of Princess Ananka. When they open it they are warned to leave it alone or a curse would fall upon them. After the tomb is opened and some time passes the Mummy (played by Christopher Lee) is revived by a scroll and it wants revenge on all who were a part of opening the tomb. The film is absolutely beautiful looking but Christopher Lee literally steals the film as The Mummy and how he portrays it. Never got into Hammer Studios this is a good place to start as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Sebastian’s Unholy Flesh (YouTube/DVD) – Dakota Ray’s (writer, director, and actor) latest effort is about a shift in the universe or this case Lucifer dying for an unknown reason. This sets in motion a demonic presence known as Sebastian who sets forth and becomes flesh in order to obtain “The Unholy Book”. Just because this old evil is looking for the book that can destroy all mankind doesn’t mean other unholy evils are not looking also. The book changes hiding places on a regular basis but Sebastian quickly learns how to get it but keeping it becomes a much bigger issue as other demons want to fight to death in order to handle this great power! Dakota Ray goes super dark with this evil flick and is a cool slow burn. My only complaint on this ultimate evil tale might be I was expecting a satanic bloodbath but never got it. Understand that did not stop Mr. Ray and crew from putting together a fine tale about what would happen if the devil died? I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and can purchased at https://www.storenvy.com/stores/868254-dakota-ray-r-a-productions .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #516

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Gross Movie Reviews #516

 

Island of Terror (DVD) – This mid-60s film has Peter Cushing as a doctor who takes an expedition crew to a remote island where a boneless body was found. Once there he and his crew must take on these blob-like creatures that suck bone out of humans and multiplying quickly. Cushing and crew must act quickly in finding a way to kill these odd creatures or they will take over the island. It seems very B-movieish for Peter Cushing if that is a thing? As I give the creature flick 2 stars.

 

Terminal Invasion (DVD) – The 2002 SyFy Channel or Sci-fi channel film that seems all to be lost (DVD has been out of print for years and I believe it played twice on SyFy then nothing since???) It stars Bruce Campbell as a death row prisoner named Jack who is being transported for some unknown reason by two officers through a snowstorm. The transport gets into an accident and forced to walk to the nearest shelter which happens to be a small charter plane service that is piloted by the smoking hot and talented actress Chase Masterson. Problem Jack and the officers encounter an alien in the restroom and when the alien dies it disappears and all is left is Jack and two dead officers. This of course spells disaster for our hero Jack but all that are waiting for the snow to let up because who is human and whose not? Yeah I know sounds a little like John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ but Sean Cunningham gets the best out of Campbell and Masterson in this little known but exciting feature about aliens in a small airport as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Space Ninjas (DVD) – Do not adjust your television as Dirk Benedict aka Jack Strange guides you through a low budget story of five students in detention. They become trapped by “Space Ninjas” as these interdimension beings appear inside the school and begin to slice all who make noise as they are blind. Stanlei the skater girl is the leader of the detention misfits and must try to keep her new friends together to survive the night of slicing and dicing. And if Stanlei is lucky they will solve the problem of killing the Space Ninjas. Think low budget, international, ‘Breakfast Club’… with cosplaying ninjas. A lot to swallow there folks but this international flick is truly entertaining and a bright spot in sometimes a bloated genre of wannabes as I give it 3 stars. Thank you to James Peter Cox for pointing out this 2019 gem exists.

Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary (DVD) – A small group of so-called internet influencers who just happen to be supernatural hunters are looking for credibility. So after a recent death of a student at a high school they take on the case and begin to investigate the supposedly “Bloody Mary” haunting in the school bathroom. The group believes they can solve the issue quickly but the spirit is vengeful and brutally slaughters one of the supernatural friends sending them and the investigation into chaos as they must really face the supernatural for real. Super bloody at times, there is a killer turd, cannibalism, a condom joke all point to the Brazilian film being influenced to Peter Jackson’s early work as they try for laughs throughout. Glad this flick was uncovered and passed on to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vampires vs. The Bronx (Netflix) – A teenager known as “Little Mayor” is having a block party for Tony’s Bodega or a place he has grown up and the rent has been raised to force the Bodega to close. See the Bronx is changing and not for the good according to most of the community but some are taking the money from the real estate company “Murnau” to buy up all the property. Only thing no one sees them leave the Bronx just more Murnau property signs. One night the Little Mayor happens to see a vamp biting into a gang banger and spends most of his time trying to convince his two best friends that vampires are here in the Bronx feeding on the residents for their property. Once Miguel gets them on board it is up to the three to fight the vamps or be arrested and in trouble with their parents. It felt like a good mix of ‘Attack the Block’ and ‘The Lost Boys’ with enough comedy to keep the story light but moving along quick. I can easily see this as a family Halloween horror flick that people check in on every year around this time as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Voodoo Woman (DVD) – The 1957 B-flick has an expedition trekking through the Amazon looking for gold and just so happen to stumble upon a lost tribe that protects gold as part of  their religion. But a doctor has already beaten them to the punch of being there and uses the tribe for his experiments into voodoo. Marilyn who leads the expedition is willing to kill even it’s her own party to have the gold but the doctor has other plans for her. The black and white film isn’t too exciting but is interesting to watch as it was rare to see films with such a strong female lead. Marilyn character not only can hold her own but becomes the monster the tribe feared to begin with as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Ghoul (DVD) – Boris Karloff in a non-Universal film is a dying professor/Egyptologist who has dedicated his life to his study of it and has arranged a certain way to be buried once dead. What is important is this jewel he has be buried in the tomb with him so he can hand it to the spirit of Anubis. But in death and burial his servant screws him over and steals the jewel setting in motion not only Karloff coming back to life and escaping the tomb looking for the jewel… But also several people there for the strange funeral are pointing the finger at each other of who has stolen the jewel. Karloff’s character will not rest until he is able to hand it off to Anubis! Not the best of Karloff’s work, but like any horror movie that has Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, or a Bruce Campbell I will watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

 

Scare Me (DVD) – So this week I learned there is two movies of the same name made in the same year. One is a Shudder exclusive the other is this feature I watched, a low budget Indy film from out west. Some young campers head out to a campsite to enjoy hanging with friends and tell ghost stories. They meet a nice forest ranger who helps them with tents and such. But as the night progresses the forest ranger becomes disgusted with the lack of good ghost stories as he awaits his turn to tell his story. There really weren’t any ghosts… There were stories of vampires, zombies, a killer babysitter, and S+M until of course forest ranger murders them all. The film isn’t bad but far from being any good as the characters seemed awkward at times and the flow of the anthology or playing with the rules of an anthology just seem to be something that has been covered one too many times. Again the film is not terrible but very forgettable as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Black Sleep (DVD) – All-star cast in this mid-50s horror film led by Basil Rathbone as a doctor that is looking into other means of furthering brain surgery. His methods are considered illegal but he claims he has made breakthroughs as he helps a fellow doctor out of prison before he hangs for a crime he did not commit. The good doctor has practice patients that he performs brain surgery on in hopes of discovering the cure for his wife’s brain tumor thanks to his gypsy friend. But the gypsy friend soon is being investigated by Scotland Yard as people are disappearing from London. A fun quick B-movie with an all-star cast that needs to be seen as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Three new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks dropped!

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This week we return to celebrate the life and movies of John Saxon by each of us picking one of his movies.  First we talk about one of the most classic Christmas horror movies of all time in Bob Clark’s BLACK CHRISTMAS.  Then it’s on to some Eye-talian giallo in Dario Argento’s TENEBRE. And finally Tim picks some weirdo shirtless Saxon in PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE.  We also cover some Red Dwarf, Seth Rogen’s pickle based time travelling adventures, that time the Pittsburgh penguins went to Russia, and finally Kyle picks a fight with his entire town over Facebook about their inability to wear a mask in public.  So download this episode or Strippers and Russian bears will hip check you into the boards.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This time we return to bring you some more podcast fun. First Tim talks about some fine Mexican wrestle-sploitation the WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY.  Then John talks about the best Raccoon-sploitation flick that has ever been in KILLER RACCOONS2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK.  Then finally Kyle gets ready to face the music and watches BILL AND TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY.  We also chat about shitty summer colds, Kyle may or may not have the Rona, Metallica exploiting the drive-in. concert stories and a ton more.  Also, we have an interview with TRAVIS IRVINEE director of KILLER RACCOONS 1 AND 2.  So download this episode or Lars Ulrich will sue your music downloading ass!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

We return and in fine fashion we are bringing with us 3 more fine flicks to discuss.  First we have a new installation in a long dead franchise in CURSE OF THE BLIND DEAD.  Next we talk about a truly lost flick from the dustiest Mom and Pop video store shelves in MARLEY’S REVENGE: THE MONSTER MOVIE.  And lastly we have one of (in Kyle’s opinion) best flicks of last year in SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.  Also we chat about weekends and how weird they can be.  Christopher Lee as Darth Vader, Bullshit ghost hunters, And we finally get into the conversation that every horror podcast eventually gets into… To love or hate Rob Zombie’s Halloween movies. We also have viewer questions, news, and a ton of other things.  So download this episode or Johnny Rotten will steal your family’s inheritance.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Drunken Yinzers Productions got sober long enough to make a website!

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It is up and running!

All right Jagoffs! It’s the announcement you’ve all been waiting for! Our new film, Blood Freak, will be available on DVD October 1st!!!! Just in time for your Halloween marathons! We’re open for preorders right now on our website. The disc includes a drunken commentary track from the cast and crew, a gag reel, and the trailer. The first 100 copies sold will be hand numbered and signed by the director. As with all our movies, proceeds will go to our next film, Tales From The Gross Side. You can also order Tim Gross’s TFTGS books to check out the source material for that project. Oh and our first film, Jagoff Massacre, is back in print! So click the link below, get over to our site and buy our wares ya jagoffs!

(Help out your friends at Drunken Yinzers by sharing the hell outta this!)

https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site

 

Gross Movie Reviews #513

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Gross Movie Reviews #513

 

Santo vs. Frankenstein’s Daughter (DVD) – In this Santo classic Dr. Frankenstein’s daughter has continued her father’s work for decades but she is obsessed with Santo. Her obsession with the masked wrestler is she believes his blood holds the key to stay young and immortal. She is over a hundred years old and her serum is no longer effective. Her goal is to send out her minions and monster after Santo, capture him, take all his blood, and rule the world! Simple… Fun movie as they reuse the plot of “Capturing Santo’s girlfriend to lure him to doom” as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Santo vs. Blue Demon in Atlantis (DVD) – So there is this old Nazi scientist after WWII escapes and sets up his secret lair in the supposed Atlantis where he threatens the world. Part of old dude’s plan is to take control of Blue Demon’s mind so he can defeat Santo and the Global Agency. But as usual Santo has other plans to spoil the evil old Nazi’s plan to rule the world. Most of the movie is Santo and Blue Demon playing cat and mouse but come on that is Santo’s tag team partner he isn’t going to kill him. This might be one of the cheesier plots of the Santo films but that doesn’t mean it isn’t entertaining as hell as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Graverobbers (DVD) – Another late 80s odd ball horror flick that has slipped through my fingers but have finally got to sit down and watch. Now first off this isn’t the Mexican horror film of the same title that came out in 1989. Second, this one was released in 1988 and quickly disappeared into obscurity but also was released in several countries under the title ‘Dead Mate’ which makes it very possible some of you may have watched it and forgot about it? Anyhow a handsome dude named Henry floats into a diner one night and sweeps a waitress Nora off her feet during the graveyard shift. She agrees to marry him on a whim not thinking any of this is real which made me question the whole film as it seems to be filmed in Nora’s dream state kinda of thing. They travel to Henry’s mansion up north in this small town where all the important people are there and they wed that night. When Nora wakes so sees it wasn’t a dream and Henry explains to her he is this rich mortician in the small town of Newbury… get it!? With no job except bumping uglies with the handsome mortician it doesn’t take long for Nora to sneak around the mansion and spy on Henry’s work. Of course we get a lot of talk about having sex with corpses after this and the possibility the whole town might be in on it. Nora keeps investigating not believing at first but soon uncovers her new husband isn’t just cheating on her with hot looking dead women he might be eating them and burying them in the local cemetery. This film doesn’t have gore, has a weird sex thing going on, and seems to look like Nora’s dream from the beginning but never fully explaining if it is or isn’t. It is weird enough I believe horror fans may want to track this down and add it to their collection for the mere reason it was entertaining in its own way as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Alien Outlaw (DVD) – This low budget mid-80s film has a gunfighter named Jesse who happens to be the most talented gunfighter on the planet who does fairs and festivals. What she doesn’t know as she is dealing with her bad management problem she is about to take on quick draw alien outlaws who have crash landed on the planet. These aliens that kind of look like bad storm troopers that shopped at the used navy seal costume store are laying waste to the local folks of this southern farm community. Now it is up to Jesse to jump on a horse and go take on these aliens and show them she is the fastest gun in the universe. There really isn’t a point to the plot but wouldn’t be surprised if MST3K or Riff Trax has found this film in the past as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Occurrence at Mills Creek (DVD) – Filmmaker Don Swanson has turned his short film project into a feature length film over the past year where a young woman Clara has recently lost her family and she might be slowly going insane. With her so-called father back in her life because the recent funerals he too is dying. Clara not totally understanding what exactly is happening begins to have visits from her dead mother and sister on a regular basis. Is there something more sinister going on with Clara or is she about to pass the edge of sanity and her brain just disconnect from reality? I would like to believe the film is a slow burn or a deep dive into one young woman’s life and family. And believe Clara’s life hasn’t gone anywhere near the way she was hoping for. The film isn’t exactly horror as much as playing that line of paranormal drama that I feel can be taken several ways by different viewers which for the long term is a good thing and something film nerds should enjoy. Ava Psoras was perfect for the Clara role; the Cinematography was wonderfully done by Don Swanson, and a perk for this independent project is I believe this film can be viewed very differently by several people. They have accomplished not making your usual cookie cutout independent project but something that will stand out from most and for that I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Final Caller (DVD) – Todd Sheets fresh off the killer ‘Bonehill Road’ and the over the top ‘Clownado’ is back with an ultra-low budget film that involves a shock jock and his show “On Through the Night” where he tells strange stories and takes calls. For Roland the shock jock tonight seems like any other night of doing his show where he is yelling into the mic putting down his fans and spewing conspiracies. But his soon to be ex-wife shows up with the divorce papers and a caller called “The Outsider” who is going to fulfill some kind of ancient ritual by brutally murdering young women. The caller claims it is up to Roland to stop him from being a serial killer but of course Roland takes this as some kind rubbish and hangs up. This begins a hellish downward spiral for the show and all involved as “The Outsider” keeps calling back to yell back at Roland and explain how he devours his victims as he kills them and will visit Roland to complete the ritual. Roland now finds himself in world of crazy shit as he is trying to escape his own radio show and not become part of the bloody body count of “The Outsider”. This is a straight forward gore and even more extreme gore Todd Sheets project that will have his fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Bequeathed (Vimeo) – This is a recent entry into the “48 hour film project” from Michigan filmmaker Michael McCallum whose entry is about a man named Michael North. North’s father has just died his father’s insurance broker has brought along a package for Michael. Mr. North explains he didn’t need to be a part of the funeral services or have anything to do with his father but the broker insisted in giving him this package. Michael opens it reluctantly and it’s a book. Seems simple and nice but opening it for a read might just kill Michael North. This film looks wonderfully shot and feels like an old school investment video of what a feature can be? I always find Mr. McCallum’s work to look professional and entertaining with heart behind all of his projects and this is no different as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. If yinz have a chance track down this Michigan filmmaker on Facebook and other social network platforms to follow his work as you not be disappointed. Available soon at http://www.REBELPICTURES.NET

 

The Plumber (DVD) – This dramatic slow burn Australian flick from 1979 has a guy claiming to be a plumber from the university checking out unit 15C where a professor and his wife live. Max the plumber is there to inspect and fix it as he will be doing with the all the units… supposedly. Jill the wife stuck in the unit with Max day after day feels uncomfortable around him but others feel Max is fine. But day after day Max just drops by and Jill believes Max is just messing with her or stalking her for fun. Not a whole lot happens and when the climax hits it was disappointing as I only give this feature 1 star.

 

Vampires and Other Stereotypes (DVD) – I wasn’t expecting a whole lot with this early 90s film but kudos to Kevin J. Lindenmuth for some awesome effort into his first flick out of the gate. We are introduced to two guys who are not cops but two dudes that are on the city streets fighting the supernatural. While investigating a lead with a businessman at a warehouse they get trapped when a young woman who was looking for a party with her friends gets cut and bleeds. Thus her blood opens the gates of hell which happens to be this warehouse (smart low budget move Kevin) that traps them all there. Now the two supernatural hunters and party goers must survive until daybreak as demons have them trapped and will stop at nothing to chomp down on their bodies and swallow their souls. These supernatural hunters go on to fight a giant rodent, zombie heads, demons, and other creatures as they try to navigate the labyrinth of doorways trying to save the young women. There is a little uneventful twist at the end but it doesn’t take away from Lindenmuth’s excellent low budget creature filled horror effort that needs to seeked out by the independent horror nerds as I give it 3 stars.    

 

Dracula’s Widow (DVD) – This title and plot of the film screamed late 80s as Raymond Everett runs the “Hollywood House of Wax” museum that has gotten six crates delivered to him. They are going to be a part of his new Dracula attraction. Raymond believes in authentic items being placed with his wax creations. And these crates are full of various items that were shipped supposedly from Dracula’s castle in Romania. Problem he has received one extra crate but no bother as Raymond is just excited for this collection. This extra crate contains one “Mrs. Dracula or Vanessa” unaware she is a widow is hungry and sets off into the night to feed. She returns to the museum to turn Raymond into her slave so he can work and protect her during the daytime. Raymond drives around town at night so Vanessa can slaughter groups of men at will! Raymond’s psychic girlfriend doesn’t take kindly to Mrs. Dracula and teams up with this old grizzled detective who believes in vampires to stop her and save Raymond. There is a few laughs and enough gore gags that might keep you watching through the end as I give it 2 stars.

Uncle Peckerhead (DVD) – Yep, you read that title right and will make perfect sense within minutes as you view the film. Now the film does open up with the redundant “based on a true story” but quickly goes into the story of three misfits who are formed a punk band named “DUH”. Judy and band mates are about to embark on their first tour but their problem is their tour van just got repossessed. So after some searching they come across an old dude named “Peckerhead” with a van that just really wants to go along for the ride and because he explains all bands have a roadie. Judy reluctantly agrees because they need the van and they pack up and hit the road. Judy suspects something is weird and wrong with Peckerhead but cannot figure it out. But that becomes super clear after DUH’s first gig doesn’t go well and they are paid three dollars. Uncle Peckerhead goes in to take a grumpy and that is when Judy finds Peckerhead looking like a crazed flesh eating monster eating the asshole promoter. Confronted by the band they agree to get food and Peckerhead explains at midnight for 13 minutes he turns into a monster and he was just protecting his new friends. Again Judy reluctantly agrees and they continue to travel from city to city and Peckerhead just leaves a trail of bodies along the way because his monster inside him needs to feed. Everything goes well until Peckerhead saves them one night when they are being tied up by a band they are feuding with now Judy must make a decision to take the fall for the bodies the authorities are finding or be eaten by Uncle Peckerhead. This isn’t the perfect horror film but I laughed several times and enjoyed the gore as I give it 3 stars.

 

Creature with the Atom Brain (DVD) – This 1955 film has a Nazi scientist and a gangster who got deported come to America to try their experiment and exact revenge. They use freshly dead people to try their experiment on where they can control these dead folk or zombies (I don’t believe they use the phrase the whole film, I could be wrong) to kill off those they want dead. Biggest problem with the experiment is the dead bodies only last so long and supposedly bleed or secrete radiation. The cops get a scientist involved who figures out they can track the killers with Geiger counters to stop it at its source before more people die. The film has its moments but has a few dull spots in places but if you enjoy 50s sci-fi it is worth the watch or rewatch in some cases as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!