Gross Movie Reviews #437

0

Gross Movie Reviews #437

 

Bomb City (DVD) – A film based on a true story of punks who trying to mind their own business vs. the usual Texas football, so-called Christian family hicks in a town near Armadillo, Texas in 1997. The story revolves around a young man who may look like the typical punk on the outside but was an artist on the inside. He and his friends just didn’t fit in the typical way of life in this Texas town and one night, one thing led to another and a young man died. The kicker is the football that maliciously ran this kid down was a football player and served no jail time. Hell, he went to college! A really interesting true life story on film that needs to be seeked out by you as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Razorteeth (DVD) – Imagine the Polonia Brothers in 2004/2005 making a remake of “Piranha” and Jon McBride did the music? You have your movie… A government salvage mission of a sunken sub goes sideways when a package is retrieved from the wreckage but lost in a plane going down over a small town lake. The experimental killer fish comes to life and begins eating all that enter the water. Of course the government investigates to see how much they need to cover up or who to kill off? Kudos to the brothers for saying fuck the budget and still giving us weirdos that like ‘Killer Animal flicks’ a fun no budget film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Video Party Massacre (DVD) – A wonderful treat for fans of “The Video Dead” as this short film from 2014 shows the new generation how much fun the original film was? A man is delivered a T.V. he never ordered. He of course plugs it in to see how it is but it only plays one thing. No matter what channel he turns to it keeps playing the same movie. A black and white film with a man that has a machete and mask on and he is killing people. The man goes to sleep and the T.V. comes to life allowing this masked killer to exist in our realm. Great retro stuff as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Porn Shoot Massacre (DVD) – A hilarious take on the slasher genre that is set on one of the biggest porn shoots ever. A big time director is paying out a lot of money to bring in some high end talent for his picture. Problem is none of the talent is gonna leave as they are all being stalked and killed in the roomy set. Once the killing and boobs start it is your normal slasher film with a twist especially when one of the female stars is much smarter than what she is given credit for… Then it’s just a game of survival. A hilarious concept but I personally would have picked a few porn stars that may have pulled this feature off better as I give it 2 stars.

 

B-Documentary 2 (DVD) – Nick Charles is back with a sequel to his great documentary about the independent film world. With introduction done by Lloyd Kaufman of course, Nick and crew worked their asses off to get opinions and conversations from several actors, actresses, and filmmakers. Some are well-known and some are on the rise as they dig deeper in this documentary to help explain things to audiences that may not know what goes on in the independent film business. This time around we get: Gary Sherman, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Adam Green, Lynn Lowry, Tiffany Shepis, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Glen Coburn, James Balsamo, Mathew Fisher, Kevin Forte among several others. They were all asked questions such as “How they got started?” “How should future filmmakers get started?” “What is the key to make a successful movie?” You see where this going but the varying opinions is what amazed me because I could argue different points with each of the people interviewed but also agreed with several things that are said on this DVD. Viewers and filmmakers alike this isn’t just a ‘need to watch’ movie… People this is a ‘need to own right now’ documentary that gives you more than just an inside look of independent filmmaker but a peak into the lives of these celebrities you may not have had the pleasure of knowing or hearing of their experiences. I believe Nick and crew got the right mix of talent that is featured in this movie as they are all just different enough to make this work flawlessly. This absolutely perfect film documentary should be used in film school as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Soultaker (DVD) – A B-movie if there ever was one where Joe Estevez is ‘The Soultaker’ and Robert Z’dar is the ‘Angel of Death’. These two get into an argument when a group of people escape a car accident or so it seems. Once the group gets over the shock of somehow surviving the horrific accident they quickly find out they are not alone. As they are being chased by ‘The Soultaker’ they try to figure out why people can’t see them or hear them as the group tries to get home for the night. A very cheesy but entertaining flick for the B-movie lovers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Revenge of a Radioactive Reporter (DVD) – The film has a few titles but these were the other two that was mostly used during its 1990 release: Radioactive Reporter and Atomic Reporter. This Canadian film is about a reporter named Mike who is trying to break a story on a local power plant leaking toxic waste. He believes he has the evidence but needs someone from the plant to come out and say something to prove his findings. So when Mike is invited to the power plant the big corporate types have him killed or they think he is dead when Mike is kicked into the toxic waste. His girl Richelle is having a tough time getting over Mike’s death but the corporate big wigs have it out for her to since they are unsure what was said to her about the story? But a new hero of sorts is born or at least just for this movie as a disfigured Mike begins his disgusting gooey crusade to kill all the corporate types at the power plant! Yes it is the Canadian version of “Toxic Avenger” but don’t let that stop you from enjoying all the cool effects and just a fun horror movie about toxic waste. I give this feature 3 stars.

Klown Kamp Massacre (DVD) – May 15, 1991, Edwin the clown went on a murderous rampage at clown camp at Bonzo’s ranch. Many years later and Edwin who was never caught is enraged when the famous clown camp is opened again. Clowns come from all over to learn from the best but are being stalked and killed one by one. Pay attention because on purpose it is “Friday the 13th” with clowns but has a fun twist that makes the film concept fun in the end. This low budget horror film has a little bit of everything: blood and guts, bootleg Crazy Ralph, clown porn, not taking themselves too serious, and a little bit of talent to pull off a must-see massacre movie that I wasn’t expecting to be this damn entertaining! I enjoy finding gems like this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Advertisements

See yinz Saturday!

0

Doing the usual this Saturday, F%4k that Brookline people! Come to Geekadrome for Free Comic Book Day Brookline Blvd. and check out one of the coolest places in the Brookline community. Plus you can meet me Tim Gross!

 

Author, director, actor (this can be debated), podcaster, horror movie critic, I will be there from 10-2 to promote my latest book “Tales from the Gross Side” and celebrate my birthday.

 

That not enough for you. Well I am a fellow nerd that can talk to you about my mounds of horror comics or why “Deadpool” and “Blade” can be considered the greatest comic book movies outside of “Iron Man”? Still not enough, I can talk heroclix and how I could defeat my wife’s three brothers with the craziest team-ups of all time and now it just takes too much thought for today’s heroclix. What, not nerdy enough? Let me just tap one forest manna for my ‘Fog’ so you forget what I just said so we can discuss why old school Magic: The Gathering was better before Series eight???

 

And by some chance that is not enough to come to Geekadrome for a free comic book and visit me? You can come by old people (older than 40) and we can talk about how we all stole baseball cards from Thrift Drugs on Sussex Ave., played at Game Room One, or drank in the woods behind Brookline school or Carmalt school just in case you don’t believe I have lived my whole life in Brookline… See yinz Saturday!

What better way to celebrate Free Comic Book Day than it being my birthday also!!!

0

 

The Geekadrome : Games and Comics

534 Brookline Blvd, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15226

 

 

This Free Comic Book Day will also mark out 11th year in Brookline and we want to celebrate that with a sale to coincide with our Free Comic Book Day.

What’s Free Comic Book Day?
FCBD is a celebration of comics, art, and reading where we purchase a selection of comics to give away for free during the event. as well have special exclusive Funko Pop figures that can only be purchased at the event.

What’s going to be on sale?
All kinds of things are going to be on sale, t-shirts will be $10, we will have a special sale table filled with action figures, collectibles and more all half off or more, and of course comics!

Anything else?
YES! We will be giving away some unique collectible merchandise TBA and each purchase gets you an entry to win one, Winners won’t need to be present but will need to pick them up.

Can I take Free Comics for my friend?
No, But you should tell them about it or even bring them with you. Comics are pop culture and our culture and we love to share it, but we can’t tell if we are sharing it or if someone is just being a little greedy.

 

Gross Movie Reviews #436

0

Gross Movie Reviews #436

 

My Friend Dahmer (DVD) – A brilliant look into the younger years of the notorious serial killer we all know is Jeffrey Dahmer. This somewhat documentary portrayal of Dahmer gives the viewer of the film a peak at what Dahmer was like when younger and what may have started his murderous ways. Jeffrey a loner, awkward male teenager who was lost in high school of the 70s struggled like most to make it through bullying, acceptance, being good to the divorcing parents. The film dives into the awkwardness of these times and captures it quite perfectly. The biggest difference is Mr. Dahmer became one of the most notorious serial killers where the rest of us became … ‘blah’. There is several films that tackle the killing and how Dahmer tried to hide the bodies, this film tries to explain what possibly led to these events and why? Was it always fate for him to be a serial killer? Or were there other forces that helped him along? You be the judge when watching this great film. I give it 3 ½ stars.

Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death (VHS/DVD-R) – A Todd Sheets 1991 shot-on-video movie inspired by the greatness “Sorority Babes Slime Bowl-a-Rama” is a warning to not buy crystals in antique shop and not eat applesauce while watching this film. A potential sorority babe goes to the local antique shop and buys a crystal for $10 for the sorority PJ party that night. She thinks they can use it for a séance or something fun? But what she doesn’t know is the crystal ball is a gateway to evil and all her and sorority sisters know is their fate rests in two babbling old antique dealers. When the sisters use the crystal ball for a séance at their party one of the sisters becomes possessed by a demon and begins killing. Hilarious cheesy stuff for the S.O.V. fans as this is a thing of beauty to track for your collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Hell Asylum (DVD) – An early 2000s low budget flick that has flown under the radar and was released by Full Moon Pictures. The film is written by Trent Haaga, directed by Danny Draven, and stars Brinke Stevens and Joe Estevez. The film revolves around five young models looking for that shot at television or in this case reality TV. They all have agreed to be a part of a TV shows called, “Chill Challenge” where they have to spend a night in a haunted building for a million bucks. Of course the producer has other plans to assure no one makes it through the night. A demon is released into the building while touring the set and begins killing the contestants off one by one. An entertaining horror film that has some gore to my delight and not your typical half-ass paranormal flick. I must give the film 2 ½ stars.

Bong of the Living Dead (Blu-ray) – A group of friends who smoke tons of pot and debate zombie movies on the front porch daily is the main plot of this flick. Their lifelong dream of a zombie apocalypse happens in front of them and it doesn’t go exactly as planned. If anything it is lame for the group of friends. They spend days in the house not in danger and of course smoking lots of weed. But after a couple close calls of a zombie attack and the weed supply running low the group has decided it may be time to have an actual plan to do something before they are all zombies! Max Groah and crew did a wonderful job of crafting an excellent zombie/comedy with great dialogue, cool characters you care about, and some excellent effects. It’s hard to believe this was an Indy project as it is proof of when everything is done with love of the genre.  As hilarious as the film is it does take a serious tone close to the end of the film which caught me off guard. But from beginning to end this film does not disappoint Indy fans as this may be this year’s “Attack of the Killer Donuts” as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details about the film: www.bongofthelivingdead.com and www.facebook.com/botldmovie .

 

Night Feeder (DVD) – A shot-on-video flick from 1988 that has just been resurrected from ‘the dead format zone’ has people of San Francisco being murdered with the authorities at a loss of who is doing it. A reporter has just moved in the ‘killing ground’ recently and takes upon herself to start investigating. This could be her big break for her magazine that she writes for as she has found out all the victims have the same trait. Their brains were sucked out through their eye socket. Plus all the murders seem to have some kind of connection to this local favorite punk band. Great B-movie cheese that would have been a lot of fun to see on ‘USA Up-All-Night with Rhonda Shear”. I give it 2 stars.

 

Sideshow (DVD) – A fun horror film about a circus sideshow with an all-star cast. This early 2000 film centers on ‘Dr. Graves Sideshow and Horrors of Nature Show’. A group of kids decide to visit the Dr. Graves show on its last night only to stir up a little trouble with Dr. Graves and his associates. But Dr. Graves being the bigger man invites them to a special ‘Horrors of Nature Show’ where one by one they each become new attractions to the show. Even with calling the police there aren’t anything the kids can do to save themselves. Fun concept that only gets better when you learn the film was directed by Fred Olen Ray, effects by Gabe Bartalos, Brinke Stevens as a fortune teller, and Peter Spellos as a protector of Dr. Graves. The movie seems like a long lost film from the early days of SyFy Channel more than a Full Moon flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Flight 7500 (DVD) – A weird supernatural horror film that was done in 2014 but only recently released starring Amy Smart and Scout Taylor-Compton. A man dies on an overnight flight to Japan setting forth unnatural events for the other passengers or so it seems. As weird things begin to happen the passengers try to investigate why the man died under the strange circumstance. The movie is kinda boring and kinda predictable as I give it 1 star.

 

Dark Angel: The Ascent (DVD) – Angela Featherstone is Veronica, a demon in hell. Veronica and her dog Hellraiser escape hell to see what man is like? While amazed in the new world she is hit by a car where a doctor hurries her in to his hospital to take care of her. The young doctor named Max finds her a little strange but interesting and asks her to stay at his home. While the young doctor sleeps and works, Veronica learns about human life and how much sinners we all have become. So the demon takes it upon herself to kill sinners and feed their body parts to her dog. This was my first time watching this flick and so glad I did. This Full Moon flick came out during the first phase of Full Moon during the early 90s and not much said about it. This horror movie has it all: love story, great sets of what hell looks like, a cool body part eating dog, and demons that kill sinners. I will be sure to make this Full Moon flick makes it into my regular movie rotation as I give it 3 stars.

 

Cute Little Buggers (DVD) – An UK film with a great horror title about aliens who have traveled the galaxy looking for mates to reproduce. They stop at earth for us ugly things because they believe they can make it work with our ugly ass women? The aliens send out ‘Penetrators’ to investigate and possess bunnies for their cover. The bunnies will attack the women, capture them if possible, and then impregnate them. The movie starts out great and has the right idea but the joke gets grinded into the ground or into stupidity that even the topless women scenes get boring. I like the concept but very poor execution in this case of alien flicks as I give it 1 star.

 

Avengers: Infinity War (Theater) – So it is the comic book movie we all been waiting for as the team faces off with their biggest challenge yet, ‘Thanos’. Spoiler Alert: He kicks everybody’s ass people and the movie is good! Plus, Spidey does his best to try and steal the movie again. Saying that, bottom line Marvel does not disappoint with all the build up to Thanos and shows why DC still has trouble making films. Grab the popcorn and enjoy it for it is movie fans as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (On Demand) – Burt and Travis travel to Canada above the Arctic Circle for possible graboid sightings and attacks. They meet a research team with a person who has experience as her father is ‘Val’. But why would the underground monsters and the Ass-blasters be in the Artic? Well, with the recent climate change aka global warming the permafrost melting has allowed for the graboids to move around in the cold soil. And the monsters are hungry! But Burt has other plans for the man-eating bastards but with his current medical condition the torch has been passed to Travis to come up with a plan. And the plan includes capturing a live graboid in order to get to its gland to save Burt’s life. Once again “Tremors” doesn’t disappoint, is entertaining, and does not get old with every story told. Thank you Michael Gross keeping Burt Gummer alive as I give the giant worm film 3 stars.

 

Split (DVD) – An absolutely creepy and interesting flick about young Professor X who has 23 personalities because of abuse early in life. Two of his personalities have taken over and have snatched up three teenage girls so they can bare witness to the legendary 24th personality. I hate always seeing movies describe as “thrill-rides” when they mostly suck but this flick actually is a creepy thrill-ride! There is so much to this film to like and how it can appeal to all viewers. Amazing stuff as young Professor X does amazing job of going from one person in his head to the other while talking to his captives. This is the different horror movie to show your friends as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

You need a copy of Tales from the Gross Side

0

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/tales-from-the-gross-side/paperback/product-23554233.html

 

The book is a collection of short horror related stories that have been rolling around in my head, unfinished movie scripts, or story ideas. These stories have been something I have wanted to write for quite a while. I now thought it was the right time for people to get a look inside my mind.

Gross Movie Reviews #435

0

Gross Movie Reviews #435

 

Deep Blue Sea 2 (On Demand/DVD) – So this was a glorious waste of a sequel. Some rich dude basically buys the same set from the first film and sets up sharks to experiment on. He of course brings in the smartest people from around the world to work on his project that could possibly unlock the human brain or extend life… Or just make bull sharks smarter and wanna fuck up humans for fun! Eventually after they breed they become “piranha-sharks” that SyFy Channel has made better with less. This was a sad excuse for a sequel and should be avoided as it is the worst movie so far for me in 2018 as I give it 0 stars.

The Night Watchmen (DVD) – So Blimpo the Clown, a Baltimore native, has died in Romania while on tour. His body is shipped to the Baltimore Gazette instead of the morgue down the street. The night watchmen are made a deal by the two guys who made the mistake to keep it overnight. We are introduced to two crazy watchmen who for the most part just watch porn and play cards, while a third that might be witness protection reads a lot, and the new guy who is done with the band thing. Everything that happens at the gazette is known by these guys: missing lunches, cute girls on which floor, when the boss (James Remar) is feeling up young ladies’ butts. Well their boss gets curious about Blimpo’s coffin to see if he can steal anything but instead finds Blimpo the Vampire! Blimpo and his fellow going army of vampires have taken over the building and Karen the cute journalist is in trouble. So the night watchmen and the rookie come up with a plan to save her and possibly ask her on a date while fighting vampires. We get a hilarious, awesome glorious bloody mess of a horror film that will be on my ‘Best of 2018’ list. I give this movie 4 stars folks.

 

AZF (Anti-Zombie Force) (DVD) – A zombie outbreak has ravaged the world and the military is growing thin trying to save folks. But there is new hope as news comes across a radio transmission of a cure called “Code Lazarus”. Along with hope of course come people who want the cure to just rule the world instead of restoring it? The movie centers on these two military groups racing to get control of the cure. The props, military truck, guns make this independent zombie film an interesting watch. The story isn’t exactly something that is unique but having the resources on a small budget to pull off what most have trouble doing is gratifying enough for me to enjoy what this filmmaker and company pulled off. For that I have to give this feature some respect and 2 ½ out of 4 stars. More about the film can be found at www.witchdoctorfilms.com .

Housesitters (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent horror/comedy that has young two girls: Angie and Izzy getting the perfect job of housesitting for a guy that Angie met the night before. Plus the house has everything including a Platinum card to order anything and the satanic pentagram with candles in the basement. But the young ladies still have free reign of the house. This includes smoking lots of weed, watching a crazy amount of porn with the pizza guy, and hanging with their guys until a little demonic creature shows up and kills them in their bathroom. Once they understand they cannot leave the house as there seems to be a void outside of it they find a spell book. They also find a note inside explaining they are part of a demonic ritual to bring forth a demon god. The two decide to confront it in the basement with surprising results. Jason Coffman put together one amazing film as it made me laugh out loud six or seven times. The Indy flick isn’t just entertaining but gives you something unexpected and funny. I love this kind of stuff and kudos to Jason and company as I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/Housesittermovie or www.housesittersmovie.com .

 

Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend (DVD) – Folks by far this movie is bad but the dialogue is absolutely entertaining and making this worth forcing yourself through. A lonely dude named Marcus is a security guard who has a lot of time on his hands. Marcus has trouble getting dates so he turns to cable porn until his father shows up on the TV and starts talking to him. So Marcus decides it’s time to call the hookers and negotiate terms. Of course like any lonely dude he wants to remember the occasion so he tape records the first session and video tapes the others. Marcus bleeds his savings to pay for all the hookers in a mere couple weeks. Lots of topless women and hilarious dialogue are the highlights of this bad but very entertaining movie. This movie doesn’t need to be watched but witnessed as I could see the MST3K guys bringing this film up every week for the next episode. So thank you filmmaker Ronnie Cramer for this gem as I give it 2 stars.

 

Trancers VI (DVD) – So I totally blanked this flick out of my mind when it was first released in the early 2000s. Mainly because no Jack Deth aka Tim Thomerson. Tim Thomerson is in the film but only clips from the other “Trancers” films. Anyway Jack has to go back down the line to ‘Old L.A. 2022’ because his daughter is in trouble. Someway, somehow Trancers are back. Jack believed he was retired, that he killed the last of them. After a meteor shower Jack’s daughter Jo gets mixed up with Trancers after she believes the meteor shower is being covered up. Her ex-boss and his assistant have found a meteor rock and using it to turn the young homeless of L.A. into Trancers they can control. The film has its heart in the right place but I doubt Charlie had much involvement or cared what was going on with this sequel? The effects were terrible and you could see there wasn’t much budget to work with but glad I gave it another chance. This sequel does raise questions such as why hasn’t there been a reboot or another sequel from Mr. Band and company because this series does have its own fan base? Unlike the idiotic “Evil Bong” commercials he calls movies. And you can’t tell me Tim Thomerson wouldn’t be up for one more as he did reprise the character for 30 seconds in one of the “Evil Bong” movies… I have several more questions I could ask about why Full Moon isn’t doing anything with this series but again the film’s heart was in the right place just poorly executed as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Mayday (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting thriller about your typical airplane trip from L.A. to London that isn’t so typical once leaving the ground. All is well on Falcon Flight 88 until the lights begin to flicker, and then go out, and then a passenger disappears. Of course this makes everyone on board scared for their lives as they do not understand what actually happened. Air marshal Anderson (Michael Pare) takes action as this is his job. But after talking to the frantic wife about her husband disappearing he is just as baffled as anyone else on board. Lights flicker again and another passenger disappears. Then it happens again. Anderson struggling for answers begins to entertain the talk of the supernatural after a conversation with a nice lady on board that he is kind of sweet on. Is it supernatural forces at work or is it something else going on that cannot be explained? All Anderson knows with the pilot just disappearing anything can happen unless he solves the mystery or he will be the one trying to land the plane. Filmmaker Massimiliano Cerchi crafts an interesting story that makes your mind think when all the characters are introduced. The film is a different and wonderful thrill ride that stars one of my favorite actors Michael Pare who is all in with his role as the air marshal. Fun stuff here folks from Mr. Cerchi as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #433

0

Gross Movie Reviews #433

 

Black Water (DVD) – We have a killer action flick on a super-secret sub starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and Patrick Kilpatrick. JCVD is Wheeler who gets caught up in a double cross over a thumb-drive that has secrets that can be sold worldwide. Patrick Kilpatrick is the man who has brought him in and transporting him on a C.I.A. black ops sub that doesn’t exist. Wheeler’s neighboring cellmate just happens to be a German named Marco played by Dolph who cannot be killed because he knows too much and may be to high profile? When things get double-crossed again and no one to trust as people are being killed on the sub Wheeler turns to Marco for help. The movie plays out like “Under Siege” on a sub which isn’t a bad thing. The film is a lot of fun especially because of the Marco character but just feel more could have been done with this action flick. It’s good but not great and potential to be great as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Moon (VHS) – An Australian slasher film from 1990 about an all-girls Catholic high school and its students being stalked and killed by an unknown killer. When a girl and her boyfriend disappear no one blinks an eye except for her best friend who feels something could be going on? But honestly she isn’t too worried as she goes to a dance and meets a dreamy dude who snuck into their dance. Soon more girls disappear and the police begin snooping around a creepy Science teacher who he and his wife have a secret? This flick is your scraping the barrel kind of slasher film that doesn’t have much substance. Remember its 1990 so I am sure this was made on mostly on the cheap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Raiders of Atlantis (DVD) – Hey remember that “Cannibal Holocaust” Deodato dude? Well he made a bunch of other movies for those who may not know. And this gem is a wonderful must-see mess! Released in 1983 under the title “Atlantis Interceptors” in some countries takes “The Road Warrior” rip-off to a whole other off the wall level. Off the coast of Florida some scientists have found an artifact at the bottom of the ocean that proves the existence of Atlantis. They are going to try and move a sunken Russian sub to investigate more. When moved, the sea floor opens, a tidal wave destroys the scientific ocean platform, and a biker gang led by ‘fish bowl man’ begins murdering people on the mainland. The “Atlantis Interceptors” are back to take the mainland from these dumb humans! Never mind asking why they have customized motorcycles with swords on them and cars with guns on them? Just except this mess of a plot hole and thank me later for enjoying a great post-apocalyptic movie about two dudes trying to save the world by flying into Atlantis and fucking shit up! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Kindergarten Cop 2 (DVD) – So twenty some years later they decided to make a sequel with Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is a F.B.I. agent who goes undercover to question six year olds about a flash drive their old teacher may have hidden? The drive has all the identities of everyone in witness protection. Of course hijinks ensue but not nearly as funny as the original from 1990 starring Arnold. But it had Dolph so I know I am in it for at least one watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Welcome to Willits (DVD) – This odd horror flick was a very nice little surprise from 2016. A girl (Anastasia Baranova from “Z Nation”) home from college in her little Northern California town has an uncle and aunt that have a huge weed crop they protect. Her uncle believes aliens are trying to steal his crop and do weird shit to him. This all started when he substituted something in his batch of meth not too long ago and his visions of aliens and a Dolph Lundgren cop show ‘Fists of Justice’ continue to get worse. What doesn’t help is some campers are staying nearby and stumble upon the crop and war is declared as the uncle believes he is killing aliens. This flick is a funny and unexpected gore fest! To give an extra twist is Rory Culkin who shows up as the weird hitchhiker picked up by the campers to give it that extra creep but fun horror factor. Movie fans this is well worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (DVD) – Since I have seen one and three it was only fair I eventually checked out the Uwe Boll sequel starring Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is Granger in present day. Granger gets pulled into a time warp which takes him to a distant time where he is called “The Chosen One”. He is deceived into thinking he must go up a mountain and kill the ‘Holy Mother’ who leads the ‘Dark Ones’. But he finds out the truth from the Holy Mother that he is placed into the future as an orphan to potentially return and save them all from the evil king who has deceived all who follow him. Granger’s future world depends on him stopping the king’s evil plan of a plague. Apparently they ran out of Jason Statham money and Uwe Boll had a leftover script from his “House of the Dead” projects and you have this… I give the fantasy flick 1 star.

 

4 Got 10 (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare are all wrapped up together in this tale of a man who forgets who he is and has a van full of drugs and money. As the man tries to remember what happened, a crooked cop kills the wrong partner and a DEA agent and a drug lord have questions. Your typical direct-to-HULU/NETFLIX jams for weirdoes like me who believe those three names are always gold for action flicks. Or at least worth one watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Children of the Corn: Runaway (DVD) – So John Gulager needed a paycheck so “hey we need someone to direct the ninth entry into this useless series only Tim Gross watches?” A woman named Ruth is trying to escape her past with a cult that killed all their parents over a decade ago. She left when pregnant so her son would have a chance in the normal world. Of course evil has followed her and wants her son. The film isn’t terrible but if you are having trouble sleeping this might help you as I give it 1 star.

 

Hellraiser: Judgment (DVD) – Of course this tenth entry sucked a huge double bag of dicks! Think remake of the fifth entry “Inferno”? If you remotely know what I am talking about please turn away and don’t watch because it will make you feel stupid and angry. For the love of DOUG BRADLEY, $350,000 budget! Thank you Dimension Films for releasing another hot pile donkey shit into the world and just insulting horror movie fans, Clive Barker, and humans in general. Worst movie of 2018! Wait question what is worse? Jeepers Creepers 3 or this entry into the so-called Hellraiser series? Hold on I think I need to go drown myself in the tub while I slit my wrists at the same time. Crap film gets crap move on folks.

Surviving Evil (DVD) – So Billy Zane plays an adventure dude who does a survival show for a cable channel. Zane and his crew head to a supposedly haunted island in the Philippines to shoot their latest episode of the TV show. One of the crew knows of the legends on the island but is choosing to ignore them as he has other motives of why he is there. This crew member knows of Japanese gold that is hidden on the island and is willing to risk his friends and his own life for the payoff. But the legend becomes real when shape-shifting tribe of demons show up and sniff out one of the crew is pregnant. Apparently pregnant women to these cool demons are Yuengling to me? The movie has some great build up, Billy Zane being Billy Zane, lots of gore, and really interesting demon things! This pleasant horror film feels like a really awesome SyFy Channel film that was too awesome to be on the “Sharknado” network. This film gets 3 really kick ass demon stars.

 

Kickboxer: Retaliation (DVD) – In case you haven’t had your fill of these movies JCVD’s character Durand is blinded by a fight promoter and must help Kurt Sloane train again. But this isn’t any ordinary fight as the fight promoter is Christopher Lambert and he is a ruthless rich bastard that wants Sloan to fight a chemically enhanced fighter. So Lambert kidnaps Sloan’s wife and gets Sloan arrested and thrown into a Bangkok prison. There Sloan trains with Mike Tyson and JCVD now that he has no choice to defend his title. If you are an action film fan this will be your bonerjam or your Viagra until they give us another Jason Statham action flick? Really enjoying JCVD doing another one of these as I give it 3 stars and yes Mike Tyson still looks scary even when he is acting.

 

Dune Warriors (DVD) – A post-apocalyptic B-movie mess from 1990, the Corman group producing, and stars David Carradine. A small village is being taken over by some warlords for their water. A woman in the village has had enough and goes out to hire five warriors to help defend the village. If you like watching dumb ass shit like me you’ll enjoy it. Let’s just say it isn’t “Deathsport” or “Battletruck”. I give it barely one Carradine as he was barely there for the paycheck.

 

Lunatics: A Love Story (DVD) – This oddity is truly a love story that stars Ted Raimi as Hank, who is a writer and has not left his apartment in six months. A huge part of it is he keeps having delusions of spiders and a doctor (Bruce Campbell) trying to cut him or give him a shot. His life changes when he believes he is calling a dating line and it happens to be a pay phone. The phone is picked up by Deborah Foreman’s character Nancy, who believes she is a jinx. She just got done getting thrown out of her hotel room, dumped by her boyfriend, and shot a gang member in the foot. On a whim Nancy accepts Hank’s invite to his apartment. Nancy tries to look past all the foil and Hank’s weirdness and they connect for their love of poetry. But Nancy believing she is a jinx runs away only to force Hank to overcome his fear of leaving the apartment to go get the girl. Josh Becker put together a hilarious tale with a great cast that I believe the studios were unsure of how to advertise. When someone brings up you should watch a love story with them go with this flick as I give it 3 ½ stars and you won’t be disappointed or bored.

 

Nightflyers (VHS) – I keep getting this confused with the Stephen Machet flick with killer bats. But this is the 1987 space flick starring Catherine Mary Stewart who is a part of a crew that gets on a ship that might be alive? They are off on a mission and become more curious as they never meet the captain and the Class 10 telepath on board keeps warning them bad shit is going to happen to them. The ship computer controls everything including her son Royd who must have seen “The Last Starfighter” and “Night of the Comet” and realizes how hot Ms. Stewart is and begins to converse with her. Some boring space shit happens, then the ship tries to kill them all, and we get a scene where the telepath gets his face cut in half by a laser “Intruder-style”. Outside of the really cool death by laser scene; the movie seems to suffer several things including many rewrites most likely. But hey it is being remade into a TV show so there is that as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Argoman: The Fantastic Superman (YouTube) – Oh the shit I couldn’t make up? Sir Reginald Hoover is Argoman. An Italian Batman clone who believes saving the world and keeping peace. But also he loses his powers for six hours if he bangs hot women of 1967. Argoman’s nemesis Jenabell is busy stealing a crown and forcing France to give her all their money. When that isn’t going on Sir Reginald is busy boning Jenabell and will capture her when the time is right. The rest of the movie is Argoman escaping custody and just seeing what else he can do for fun with his amazing powers. The movie doesn’t a whole lick of sense but I was entertained and laughed several times and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #432

0

Gross Movie Reviews #432

 

Mitchell (DVD) – This cheesy 70s flick stars Joe Don Baker as a detective who seems to be a sleezeball but actually it just adds to his charm as a man just trying to do the right thing. Mitchell happens to be riding along with police who get a call for a burglar in a rich neighborhood. The burglar picked the wrong dude, Walter Deaney/John Saxon to steal from as Deaney was looking for an excuse to kill. Cops think its justice, Mitchell believes its murder. Mitchell decides to investigate for himself but gets thrown off the case to cover an old mob dude who may be tied to a heroin shipment coming in? Soon Mitchell becomes a target as he keeps meddling in both cases and they are connected. The film is one big cheeseball 70s flick that would be more interesting if we didn’t have two “Dirty Harry” flicks and a “Death Wish” flick out by the time “Mitchell” was released. I give it 2 stars.

Thunder Cops (VHS) – If you cannot find this movie under that title supposedly the film was also called “Operation Pink Squad II” at one point? This hilarious 1987 action/comedy from Hong Kong is one of those: “How much B-movie crap can we throw against the wall and it actually stick”. And thank god for allowing this feature find me. An upset husband who believes his cop wife is cheating on him learns she is going to hook up with her superior. What he doesn’t know he keeps overhearing their plans to go undercover as hookers as part of a police sting at a haunted building. The haunted building has a crazy ass monk trying to keep evil spirits in their place. But a vengeful ghost escapes the chaos and now is causing problems with the sting going down in the building. Eventually the monk, the upset husband, the undercover cops all must defend themselves against a ghost head that flies! Let’s not forget the green turd, mini-copters chasing the ghost head, and possible castration to invite a powerful elf which kills ghosts? Like I said crap thrown against the wall but great crap as I laughed my ass off and give this movie 3 stars.

 

Ravenwolf Towers (DVD) – Jake is a new assistant manager at a run-down hotel that used to be cherished by Hollywood types years ago. Now, it is just a weird dwelling for older people mainly who don’t venture outside or talk to anyone but themselves. But Jake quickly learns there is many secrets to the hotel when he has to go the top floor to fix a leak and finds a helpless woman named Mary. He helps her out but her family comes looking for her and goes back to the top floor without a real explanation. This is a recent ongoing new series from Charles Band that gives life to a project that has that old school Full Moon Pictures charm as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Ravenwolf Towers 2 (DVD) – The series continues as you learn more about the residents of the hotel and Mary and family on the top floor are building up to something big. Meanwhile Jake begins to speak with a new resident Ivan Ivanov, a supernatural investigator, who is there because of the strange family Jake, has had run-ins with. Pay attention Full Moon fans as some of the characters that live in the Ravenwolf Hotel are characters from past Full Moon movies which gives this series an interesting twist as I give this episode 3 stars.

 

After School Massacre (DVD) – Jess who is the popular girl in school and likes to have sleepovers has just had the weekend that sucked. A so-called friend or new girl she felt bad for just committed suicide at her sleepover and her teacher Mr. Anderson just said a photo of hers was ‘cute’ and a ‘friend request’ on social media. So Jess and her classmates fuck with Mr. Anderson and doesn’t care about the suicide decide they need to have another all-girls sleepover to get over things. Of course Mr. Anderson gets fired over the friend request on social media by the school and snaps killing two faculty members. Unbeknownst to Jess Perkins and friends Mr. Anderson is killing his way to the sleepover but that is okay because Mr. Anderson is weird anyway, “because he puts mayonnaise on his chicken nuggets.” Low budget, I laughed a couple times, not a ton of blood, I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

After Party Massacre (DVD) – Most of the film consists of Death metal music footage from a couple bars which is the backdrop for this movie. Little story happens as most of it consists of chubby boobs and chubby girls banging during the metal music which isn’t a bad thing if it was full porn? But in this case it is supposed to be a horror movie about a woman named Scarlett who almost gets raped in a club, has flashbacks, and begins slashing her way through random club goers. Not even the great acting talents of Nic Pesante or the vile story of penis mutilation makes this horror film bearable. For that I give this movie a ½ star out of 4. Unless you were trying to make a porno instead of a poor excuse for what is called a horror movie then you are on to something? But the ½ star is only because the music was pretty cool.

 

The Creature Below (DVD) – A little known creature/Lovecraftian film from the UK about a woman named Olive who is on a deep-sea dive and has some trouble with a strange creature. The crew brings her up and all the equipment is busted including the suit which causes her to get kicked off the boat because she cannot remember what happened. Olive does grab a black egg from the suit and takes it home to study it? It hatches and spits black goo at her and now she is a part of this odd new species that is causing her to act differently to friends and boyfriend. As time goes on she believes she must protect this ‘god’ and feed it… humans. Hey Lovecraft fans if you haven’t found this one yet it is worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

4/20 Massacre (DVD/Vimeo) – A group of young women head to the woods to go camping and let their freak flag fly in celebration of 4-20 but also for a birthday weekend. While venturing into the woods the women are warned by a park ranger to not hang around and definitely not go looking for the weed farms that are nearby. Especially since the weed farmers have taken justice into their hands recently. A man out of his mind finds the women babbling about a thing chasing him but they don’t pay him any mind. They party, enjoy the woods, until a man/thing begins to slaughter them and smoke their weed believing they took its crop. A very entertaining slasher film that doesn’t over thinks the plot or force its way down your nerd gullet. It plays out like a good slasher film should. Is it perfect, no way, but it is well worth adding it to your horror film collection. Most horror films portray everyone that smokes weed as stupid and therefore the plot should be stupid this film does not do that. And I thank the filmmaker for that as I give this trippy horror film 3 out of 4 stars. For more details to check out on this new massacre: www.facebook.com/thehikeproductions .

 

The Theatre Bizarre (DVD) – An anthology filled with buckets of blood and gore that includes segments from Richard Stanley and Tom Savini. The stories of horror flow like a good beer down your throat until you hit the slow moving segment “The Accident” which is good but just doesn’t fit in this anthology. Thus, the entry causes the film to slow down and no longer flow right except the in-between parts with Udo Kier being his cool creepy-ass self! I give the anthology 2 ½ stars.

 

Annihilation (On Demand) – Natalie Portman gets pulled into something you cannot imagine when her missing husband shows up at her door from a secret mission he was on. After being pulled over by the military and husband almost dying she is meeting with a scientist played by Jennifer Jason Leigh who explains an event that happened three years ago. Well an unexplained event involving something falling from space into a lighthouse that they now call the ‘shimmer’. Something is a rainbow force field that is expanding. It first just covered the lighthouse but eventually took over the swamp, the state park, and a community. It’s feared it will continue to spread all over earth? The government has sent several people into the shimmer but none have returned except for Portman’s husband which there are no answers for? So Portman, Leigh, and three other scientists make their way into the shimmer to see if they can get to the lighthouse and get answers. Once inside they encounter some very strange shit that is mutating plant and animal alike. Visually the movie is beautiful and plotted out very well. Honestly if the “Lost” TV show had any sense and could have been this instead of the ‘dreaming we are all dead’ bullshit it was. Sorry spoiler alert if you ever wanted to watch that poor excuse for a show? But I get the feeling many are not going to understand a film like this and feel this film might be a couple years before it is actually understood? We will see but if you want to enjoy a bizarre sci-fi flick to fill that void inside your inner nerd this film will it and more as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh it’s real and it’s happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

IT’S HERE!!!

0

Okay folks if you are ready for something completely different from me this is the project you have been waiting for? The book (Tales from the Gross Side) is a collection of short horror stories that have been rolling around in my head, unfinished movie scripts, or story ideas. These stories have been something I have wanted to write for quite a while. And now I thought it was the right time for people to get a look inside my mind. This book is something I use to do in my high school days on a regular basis writing story after story. This perhaps helps give you the idea of you should always feel young and enjoy the scary things of life?  Yeah I am not the next Stephen King, Mike Watt, or Dean Koontz just an ordinary dude who believes beer and horror movies are a religion. As long as I am on this earth I will enjoy doing what I do!

Old you would go buy it now!

Tales from the Gross Side ($7 plus shipping)

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/tales-from-the-gross-side/paperback/product-23554233.html

First appearance will be Cinema Wasteland, April 6-8, 2018. www.cinemawasteland.com

Second appearance will be Grossfest, July 28, 2018. www.grossfest.com

Gross Movie Reviews #431

0

Gross Movie Reviews #431

 

Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary (Blu-ray) – These days it seems a lot of documentaries are being made about horror films and such. Some deserve it? ‘Pet Sematary’ deserved it for sure for its impact on the horror genre. Honestly horror movie fans it was one of the better book to film adaptions of King’s. The Stephen King story that was brought to life by director Mary Lambert, she had a long journey and interesting one. The film came at the end of the “Slasher Era” and no studio wanted it to be made mainly because of the kid death in the story/script/movie. But with a strike looming at the time Mary Lambert and others took advantage of this and the rest was film history. The documentary takes a very in-depth look how it got from book to film but also how it’s one of King’s darkest books that scared him when he first wrote it. The filmmakers: John Campopiano and Justin White were just normal horror movie fans that felt they should do a documentary for the popular horror film. For several years the two tracked down everyone that had anything to do with the film. Plus there is loads of interviews with all the cast members involved sharing their stories of on and off set. I believe it was crucial having Mako Hughes talk about his experience and what he actually remembers of the project to make this the perfect documentary for ‘Pet Sematary’ fans. John and Justin went to great lengths to get all kinds of goodies any horror fan to enjoy this great documentary. The documentary is absolutely wonderful as I give it 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Suspiria (Blu-ray) – A wild ride of a film about a young lady that goes to a prestigious dance academy. Once there strange happenings go down and the young lady begins to uncover secrets no one is meant to know. Meanwhile people begin disappearing and die in very beautiful but gruesome ways. You got witches, gore, and ARGENTO, a terrific combo. We all know the story and have seen the film countless times. But this new 2-disc Blu-ray is the one that had folks talking on the festival circuit and for good reason. This is the new 4K restoration of the original cut of Suspiria. Seriously horror fans this film should be used for the prime reason to buy a 4K television. The colors and its sharpness of how the film was meant to be seen are perfect. You don’t have to be the biggest Argento fan in order to want to have this new Blu-ray set. This version of Suspiria is stunning and makes you want all horror movies to look like this. Plus there are enough extras for you to just call off work and spend the day in ‘Suspiria-land’. From artwork, to the story of the colors in the film and the reason, to the interviews your mind will be blown away. I always enjoyed the film but was never an uber-fan of it but this two-disc set just made Suspiria that much better experience in my eyes as I give this 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com of course.

 

 

Path of Blood (Blu-Ray) – An animated feature done like the “South Park” pilot episode set in Japan 1614. With the war over samurai are displaced or just wandering the country and they are called “Ronin”. The movie centers on one samurai who doesn’t so much seeks to be paid for his services as much as he is curious about the world. He hears a story about a man who may be a demon or undead that is looking for an army. But many men have taken this adventure and have not come back to tell the tale of it. So Kazuo takes the dangerous road and risks life and limb to satisfy his curiosity of the stories of the evil in the mountains. Eric Power did amazing job with this movie and fans of animated stuff will be excited to get their hands on this package! I give the movie 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Street Team Massacre (DVD) – Oh I had no clue what I was getting into but glad I watched this flick. This movie has moved into my great finds that include stuff like “Death Metal Zombies”, “Woodchipper Massacre”, “Holy Shit… Zombies”. But anyhow this 2007 independent film begins in a room full of people in lab coats in 1999. They have a college aged test subject who is there to test their energy drink and give them feedback for twenty bucks. He drinks a Mango energy drink and soon begins attacking all in the room. Several years go by and we are in the Eco-Elixir conference room present day where a new sales/street team person is going to be introduced to his co-workers. Excited for the struggling juice company he is excited to get out on the street until he and his team have a run-in with the Jock Juice crew on the beach. The Jock Juice team always seems to be one step ahead of the Eco-Elixir team until new guy comes up with an idea to go check out this unknown music jamboree in the mountains. Problem is there are only six or seven rednecks and the jamboree was only five minutes long. But unbeknownst to the team members their Eco-Elixir has been switched with the “Mango” test drink from years ago that causes changes in people and make them attack others. Now, you have biting rednecks with a uni-brow trying to kill both energy drink teams. Its cheesy, stupid, has Lloyd Kaufman looking at a ‘Gorillas in the Piss’ magazine, Roddy Piper selling energy drink out of his driveway, and George Hardy as I am all in as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

VHS Massacre (DVD) – A great documentary about a couple podcast dudes in the New York area who take upon themselves to discuss the decline of physical media. They started in 2012 with the film and completed sometime in 2014 which helps as they show video stores galore closing down as they discuss the subject with the likes of Lloyd Kaufman, Debbie Rochon, and Joe Bob Briggs. You get to see some old school VHS and Beta commercials along with the DVD infomercial that invaded VHS in the mid-90s. The documentary takes a more serious tone discussing the pros and cons of where movies are going and what it means for certain filmmakers and companies. I give the documentary 4 stars, great stuff guys.

 

Fangs (DVD) – This 1974 movie might not be known for its “Fangs” title as much as it being called “Snakes” when hitting the VHS back in the day. But this little weirdo film is about Mr. Snakey Bender who keeps several different snakes as pets and buys mice off the kids every Wednesday to feed the snakes. Besides the cute school teacher having a bizarre relationship with the snakes and Mr. Bender, the preacher is fucking with his business. Soon the little Texas town believes old Snakey should just drive his clunker to the farm and never come back to town. But Snakey has a different thought as he kidnaps those who wronged him and lets the snakes do all the work for him. In the end this makes him happy. The 70s film is weird and has enough strange shit that it will make you want to watch it again as I give it 3 stars.

 

Another Wolfcop (Theater) – Lowell Dean finally gives me the sequel not only I wanted but all Wolfcop fans. Lou is still on the prowl but these days during a full moon Sheriff Tina believes it would be better that Lou is locked up. Busy drinking and having his usually ‘Liquor and Donuts’ baker dozen as they are the official sponsor of Wolfcop. Of course Lou doesn’t listen and gets out and after an incident; Tina has to take lip from the mayor (Kevin Smith) about a Wolfcop running around town.  After a night of the usual chaos and Lou taking a truck back because its evidence he finds his dead friend or reborn friend/shape shifter Willie in a present. So the old tag team is back, maybe as Wolfcop has come against a new robotic foe that was built by a scientist controlled by Sidney Swallows. Swallows plans on getting the local folk drunk on his new cheap beer ‘Chicken Milk Stout’ then killing them at the hockey game. Honestly I am not making this up as Willie now has a mutant dick that smokes weed with him. Willie also has a werewolf sister who bangs Lou and has six tits! And apparently snorting moon rock is like steroids for werewolves. This beautiful mess is all mashed together in a 82 minute sequel that is just as much fun as the original. See it now as I give it 4 stars.

 

Incredible Shrinking Woman (DVD) – Lily Tomlin is Pat Kramer a loving wife who does everything for the kids while the husband works away on selling products. Pat is exposed to the right mixture of chemicals and suddenly begins to shrink. Her family is suffering because they are unsure what is going to happen to her until one day they believe she is dead after falling into the garbage disposal. But it just so happens a group of people are hell bent on using her for tests so they can shrink everyone down in the world and takes it over. With the help of a gorilla Pat is able to escape and let her family know she didn’t die just yet as she becomes a national story. A very hilarious take on the 50s film “Incredible Shrinking Man”. I give it 3 stars.

Midnight Movie Massacre (DVD) – The film began in 1984, supposedly finished in 1986, and wasn’t released until 1988 and also known as “Attack from Mars”. Cannot see this film being that bad? Read a few articles about the film supposed to be released in 1986 but there was no explanation to why not? Anyway the movie takes place in 1956 where several people go to the theater to go watch a flick called, “Space Patrol”. Meanwhile, a real Martian lands from Mars to slowly murder people in the theater until the patrons eventually fight back and the Martian is eaten by a fat woman. I give this real B-movie 2 stars for the mere reason I laughed several times watching this flick.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh it’s real and it’s happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!