Gross Movie Reviews #473

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

 

The Nun (DVD) – “The Conjuring” series continues as they did a prequel or more of an origin story for that scary ass nun that scares the nutsacks out of the Warrens. It is set in 1952 where a sect, group, whatever you wanna call them of nuns hang out in this remote castle called the Abbey outside of a small Romanian town. However these quiet young ladies have been keeping an evil secret hidden away from the Vatican and the world. After a young man who delivers food to the Abbey finds a bloody ass nun hung herself he thought he should get word to the right people. So the Vatican sends a priest with a mysterious past and a nun who has yet to take her vows to the Abbey and investigate the suicide. And see if the rumors are true about something evil living there? Once there they both understand quickly this evil is real and must be dealt with in a hurry as its power is beginning to grow. But no matter what happens we all know from the past films with the Warrens the ‘nun’ is still doing some ghostly shit so in the end what was the point of the film? For that I give a meh and 2 stars.

Empire of Ash (YouTube) – Been a little while since I touched on my second favorite genre “post-apocalyptic films”, so I thought it was time to tackle this Canadian thriller from 1988. If I got the backstory right it was supposedly filmed in 1986 then got rereleased in 1988 as “Empire of Ash II” in case you cannot find one, which is why. For another weird fact it was also retitled in some countries as “Maniac Warriors”, no wonder it took me a while to track this lower budgeted crap down. So the apocalypse happened and there are some survivors. Problem there is a crazy ass priest with his band of post-apocalyptic misfits killing survivors who are not down with the new god in ‘New Idaho’. A woman warrior (Danielle) and a weird bootleg of a bootleg loner warrior team up, bump uglies, and try to save the one’s sister. If that wasn’t enough plot for you on the other side of ‘New Idaho’ there is some generic scientists using some survival weirdos of kidnapping fresh victims, I mean survivors to use for their possible cure. In the end a lot of random filler and a hot young lady warrior 80s style fucking shit up but not enough for me to recommend yinz going down the same path of finding this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Empire of Ash III (YouTube) – Yes for the love of Rutger Hauer it had a sequel and I watched it. Released in 1989 it still follows the same female warrior (Danielle) who lost her man, her sister, and really doesn’t seem to care… Supposedly its 2050 and William Smith playing the new bad ass nutzoid priest is out fucking people up in ‘New Idaho’. Danielle after getting naked decides to help a young man rescue his teenage love from William Smith before he boinks her for god! There was little recasting from the first movie as you see a lot of the same people in this sequel but most likely someone got fired to pay for William Smith as he wasn’t doing high profile projects any longer. Best thing I can say about this besides Danielle and William Smith is there are cannibals and for that I give 2 stars. And before I forget this movie was also retitled “Last of the Warriors” at one time.

 

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (Blu-ray) – Okay people I really wanted to like this movie but man this was disappointing folks. The film stars Shane Douglas as himself. Douglas has a feud with another wrestler Billy that gets ugly quick over a woman. Douglas ‘accidentally’ kills this wrestler Billy in the ring. Billy’s Brother Angus in order to get revenge he must sacrifice a nurse to begin his zombie horde, and pay a promoter to set up a private wrestling event at an empty West Virginia prison. A bus takes the wrestlers (Douglas, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, and a few others) along with valets to the prison. Oh before I forget Kurt Angle makes a cameo through the side door that even seems out of place for this film? Now they all must fight through the hordes of zombies because Douglas and this now dead wrestler Billy could get along. Damn that is really playing a wrestling angle… too bad it is pretty boring. It has a little bit of gore and tons of extras but Piper has little to work with to help this feature along as maybe the film idea should have stayed dead as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (Theater) – Holy fuck nuts the action does not stop in this wonderful film. If you are looking for story or closure into the John Wick storyline you won’t find it here. But if you are looking for some of the best action sequences ever for a US film and wanna see John Wick kill hundreds, Mark Dacascos be one of my favorite villains and enjoy his work, Halle Berry have dick-chomping dogs, and be introduced to some bad ass action dudes you may have not had the pleasure watching in other films like I have? Check your brain at the door and allow your mind to be action fucked by this great film. The movie has flaws if you sit back and have been studying the storyline of the franchise as my podcast partners John Shatzer, Kyle Poling, and I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. Imagery is top notch but somewhere behind all that the writers may have forgotten what makes this run? Either way people I don’t care as I was entertained as hell as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Cold Steel (VHS/YouTube) – Jonathan Banks who plays Isaac the Iceman in this direct-to-video thriller wants revenge against Johnny Modine no relation to Matthew Modine. Johnny and Isaac were young cops who were close buddies partying until they got into a scuffle they couldn’t handle in an alley way behind the bar. Johnny got knocked out; Isaac got his throat and face slashed, and their buddy died. Besides killing Johnny’s father on Christmas Eve night he uses a young Sharon Stone to lure Johnny’s trust and let his guard down so The Iceman can play with him before his revenge. Maybe not the best of thrillers but you have amazing car stunts, Jonathan Banks who has always played a great bad guy, Adam Ant as a meth dealer, and Sharon Stone naked, I am in to watch this again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Possession (DVD) – Well this 1981 film was one fucking weird movie folks. Mark and Anna are having marriage troubles. Mark was away for a long time with his government job only to come home and spend some quality family time and find out his wife Anna is not just fucking another dude… But she apparently gave birth to some weird gooey thing in the subway tunnel that she has sex with and you are supposed to decide if its: God, the devil, or just Mark’s clone for some weird unknown reason? When you think the film gets strange and blows past that and just get downright confusing as Anna has an apartment away from Mark and her boyfriend so she can take care of this thing. Which she must kill to feed it by the way but Mark doesn’t understand until the very end when Anna regrets it when they both die. Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill were fucking amazing in way into the roles but I still don’t quite know what I watched in this gooey mystery as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #472

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Gross Movie Reviews #472

 

Weenie Roast Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – High School football star Marty has it all until a serious head injury changes everything. His father brings a football scout to a barbeque and makes Marty show off his skills and in the process smacks his head off the grill in the backyard. Now with no football in his life and on special meds Marty wonders if he will ever be the same person as he has become distant with his girlfriend and friends. He believes the strong meds are giving him visions that aren’t there and confusing him. So the friends and Marty pile into a car, head to a cabin, and play a game of Hide-n-Go Drink! And so the bodies begin to pile up quickly… I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Avengers: Endgame (Theater) – After all the reknobs on their Google machines were done trying to spoil everything for everyone and bitch about anything opening weekend I went the week after it opened. Once again Marvel knows what they are doing. If you have been a fan of the several films that led up to this finale then you will really enjoy this as it gives closure to most of the characters you have gotten to know. Plus the three hour time feels like a breeze because let’s face it Marvel movie fans they a lot of storylines to cover. It is everything you could want from a summer popcorn flick. Infinity edges Endgame out for me but I felt like everyone got their 30 seconds in this flick. I give this film 3 ½ stars as it was only missing two things for me “Spider-man 2099” and “Blade”, but that’s me the weirdo.

 

American Massacre (YouTube) – After a couple of weeks of people dying in a small town of Victorville a group of friends thought this would be a good time for their Labor Day party. Of course an unknown killer begins to slice and dice through the group but don’t let the played out plot fool you. As only one person was supposed to die but escalates quickly. As the film becomes very interesting in the end it out smarts itself instead of sticking to the original plan of only having one twist. The movie was much better than I ever thought it was going to be so for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Hart-Break Killer (DVD) – Sean Donohue’s latest thriller is more about substance than sleaze but takes you on a very entertaining and trippy ride into the mind of Robert Hart. Mr. Hart is just a lonely, nerdy dude who would like to meet an attractive woman and have a relationship. This simple thing seems to be very hard to obtain as Robert always at odds at what he could do, or what he wants? His constant talks with the man in the dark room seem not to be helping and Robert is thinking about seeing a psychiatrist. Will he help or hurt Robert? Things are unclear as Mr. Hart’s dating woes continue sending him into a deep depression he may not be able to escape. I enjoy Sean’s work and hope he keeps it coming as I give this 3 out of 4 stars. www.gatorbladefilms.com

Werewolf in a Woman’s Prison (DVD) – This 2006 mess of a film might be my sleeper hit of the year. If the actress playing Sarah looks familiar that is because a lot of Full Moon fans would know her as the sultry Batty Boop from the “Killjoy” films. Sarah out in the woods boinking her dude in the woods is disturbed by a creature. This creature happens to be a werewolf that tears up her boyfriend and leaving Sarah wounded. She awakes some time later in a prison for the criminally insane and finds out the boyfriend is dead and she is completely fucked as it’s a foreign country and they want to use her ass! The prison looks to imprison American women for their gain in this rip-off of “American Werewolf in London”. So with her new situation Sarah must learn to survive in her new rapey environment. After a fight and not making friends with most of her bunk buddies she transforms into a werewolf and turns the Canpuna prison into a bloodbath. This film is a large barrel of sleaze and cheese that follows Joe Bob Briggs famous three B’s so well it may make his brain explode as I give this absolutely nutzoid flick 4 stars! The topper is an unbelievable werewolf transformation scene at the end of the film that had no business being that good of a transformation. Don’t think just go watch and understand …

 

Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – A hugely boring ass flick about a couple of country cops taking on two cannibal killing brothers in the mountains. And if wondering… yes there was a good bit of slow motion scenes for no apparent reason. I give the film zero stars as it gives more proof to asking WTF?

 

Amsterdamned (DVD) – A Dutch slasher film I didn’t know much about from 1989 that has the killer using the canals of Amsterdam to his advantage. The film has a very memorable scene of a hooker being killed but then hanged from a bridge where her body just smears along a boat full of children, great stuff. A police lieutenant hesitates to call it a serial killer until the bodies keep stacking up and are killed in similar ways. As the bodies pile up quickly the lieutenant must find out what experienced diver would have this thrill to kill? Of course they get the wrong guy to make it interesting but in the end the police cannot be fooled. A fun watch I give 2 ½ stars too.

The Devil’s Rock (DVD) – A 2011 film from “Night of the Hell Hamsters” filmmaker Paul Campion that sets the film on D-Day eve as soldiers are heading to islands to sabotage Nazi’s large cannons and structures. But the two hear a woman moaning inside the tunnel below and cannot stop themselves from seeing if they can rescue her from the Nazi forces. But what the two soldiers stumbled upon is something they could never expect as they come upon a scene of murder and gore. A German soldier there was on a secret mission to gain an ancient text on the island and test its knowledge. The test was to conjure a demon and control it so Hitler could use it as a weapon and enslave the world. It could change the war. Nothing on the Earth can send it back as the German and New Zealand soldier must work together to send it back to hell or become part of the bloodbath? The demon must eat constantly as I give this wonderful film from Paul Campion 3 stars and glad you are still out there my friend making awesome horror films.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Grossfest is coming…

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Tell your ma, tell your pa, tell everyone in Arkansas Grossfest is coming July 20th! But serious people tell your friends, your work friends, your ex-friends, your exes in general, your mistress, your secret boyfriend, your boyfriend’s boyfriend, tell the dreaded relatives that this cool event is happening again July 20th! And filmmakers that didn’t get a table because they sold out again come anyway and buy a ticket just to check out all the cool independent horror filmmakers, authors, and bad ass vendors! Help us make this grow so we can do this every year… Remember only $10 and you never know what will be there!!!

 

Guests for Grossfest 2: Fred and Shelby Vogel, Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger, Dustin Wayde Mills, Craig Everett Earl, Justin Channell, Glenn Berggoetz, Henrique Couto, Brian Paulin, and Tom Savini. There will also be independent authors, filmmakers, and cool vendors… Plus independent movies will be shown all day. Remember things are subject to change…

Saturday, July 20, 2019 (Vendor room 11-7, Movie room 11-10) $10 admission includes both

DoubleTree Hotel

340 Racetrack Road

Washington, Pa. 15301

724-222-6200

Code to book your discount room: G19

Anything else please visit us at www.grossfest.com or visit our Grossfest Facebook page.

Gross Movie Reviews #471

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Gross Movie Reviews #471

 

South of Hell (DVD) – An independent anthology of sorts as a mysterious young lady telling stories after she leaves a bar that involves humanity. The stories are more about substance than blood and guts but all four are solid entries. The first involves a cute couple (Tawny and Tony) who are all about each other until they move together. Tony cuts Tawny off from the rest of the world for several months as the relationship sours. After an argument Tawny is killed by Tony but doesn’t let her death get in the way of the two being together forever. The second involves two brothers who make drugs for a man who doesn’t like his shipments late and things go south quickly. The third story is about a young woman in college who decides to take a self-defense class because of her mom. But she is kidnapped by an unknown stalker. The fourth is about a man who kills because he enjoys the kill. All entries were well written and entertaining as D. Max Walters changed it up with more story telling than just throwing guts at the screen as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Axeman (DVD) – This 2013 independent slasher has a great cast and I like the set up but fails on many levels in making this slasher film fun. A giant dude with an axe even though he doesn’t use it much kills a group of twenty-somethings looking to party like they did in college. They of course ignore the legend at Cutter’s Creek to get this cabin cheap to party all weekend. When there is 40 minutes between deaths we get a lot of MTV reality show drama as who stole whose boyfriend takes up way too much running time of this feature. Another big mistake is having a huge actor to play the part of the ‘Axeman’ but literally give him no style or character. Hey I know this was a small budget but when you spend more time and cash into casting the film than on special effects and editing you are going to make a bad movie. I wanted to really like this film but I cannot find a way to do that as I give it 1 ½ stars. Stop trying to reinvent the slasher film formula!

 

Axeman 2: Overkill (DVD) – A few years later the sequel picks up seconds after the first film. Problem the sheriff and the final girl or guy in this case was shown at the end about to be hacked to pieces? Darren and the sheriff are alive and basically it is ignored that they were most likely killed. But for some weird script reason they survive only to find themselves being stalked by a new and improved ‘Axeman’ who looks like a bootleg Balls Mahoney from ECW! This time out at Cutter’s Creek we have Christians and criminals taking refuge in the cabin with a bad history. Thus begins another slaughter as the sheriff rounds up a posse to go kill the Axeman with failure as the only option as this sequel was dead on arrival. The actor who plays Darren in both films is also the director and possibly might want to look into another genre of film to make as this sequel may have been worse than the first film as I give it ½ star.

 

Glass (On Demand) – The follow-up to that wonderful film “Split” has David Dunn searching for a serial killer in the city. What he wasn’t expecting to find is the person with over 20 personalities behind the event. As the two fight for supremacy a doctor and about a hundred police officers show up to arrest both and take them to an asylum to be evaluated. There they come together with Mr. Glass. All three are very unique humans with certain possible superhero abilities. The good doctor played by Sarah Paulson has three days to cure them of their ailments as she believes they are not superheroes. With these three possible super humans together in one place you know it’s only a matter of time before a big battle happens. The film may have not gone the way most people wanted but I quite enjoyed the story as it did not try to do too much and let you feel for all three characters. Plus I enjoyed the ending with the good doctor which you know as soon as she hits the screen she is the real bad guy. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Happy Death Day 2U (On Demand) – I will be up front this film should have been better but also where they went with it I totally understand the direction. The whole gang is back and even though Tree is the central point of the story it gets screwed up in a time loop because of Ryan. And because of his actions now parallel universes have been opened up and Tree has been thrown into a different one. Her mom is still alive, her roommate isn’t trying to kill her, and Carter is banging Danielle which gives the sequel its humor. Instead of hilarious constant moments and lots of blood the film almost becomes more of a drama than horror film. All the characters are very likable and I love the first film so much more but this might be an example of when trying to explaining everything instead of just letting some little things in that universe go? I just hope they allow horror audiences to enjoy the first film for years to come and not make the mistake of making a third film that would somehow be a prequel as I give this sequel 2 stars.

 

Queen Crab (DVD) – If you haven’t had your fill of independent creature features then look no further than this feature brought to us by Brett Piper. Just a simple story of a little girl who had a pet crab. When her parents accidently die in an explosion the little girl’s uncle takes care of her. Twenty years later the little girl now an adult lives alone on her parents property and still has the pet crab. What people don’t know about is the crab is a giant crab that ate fruit from an experimental plant that dealt with growth her father was working on. Now the crab is loose wreaking havoc in the small town trying to protect its only friend. I always enjoy finding Brett Piper is out there still working as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dragon Lives Again (YouTube) – The film stars Bruce Leong and the film is dedicated to the millions of the Bruce Lee fans. This is what you need to know folks… Bruce Lee after death goes to the underworld only to fight Dracula, Clint Eastwood, James Bond, Mummies, and Zombies and gets help from Popeye. Literally it is one of those films you would think somebody made up but it is truly real and entertaining as hell as I give it 3 stars.

 

Triple Threat (On Demand) – A Chinese Heiress inherits an ungodly amount of money from her father. She decides to use it to fight crime syndicates so it is safe for people to play outside again and not be afraid. Of course she is going to face some fallout from this now she is hitting national television to talk about her plan. Cue the awesome “Predator-like” beginning scene of people being obliterated by an elite team of soldiers. The elite team is there for nefarious reasons and unleashes supposedly loose cannon that are hired to take out the Chinese Heiress. When two trackers who help this group were believed to be killed and meet a man who survived the attack and unlikely alliance is sort of made when they are forced to protect the heiress. This bad ass action flick is almost as fun as watching “The Expendables” and “The Raid”. Every action star in the flick gets their two minutes of beating some major ass and this is a must watch as I give it 4 stars. Tony Jaa, Tiger Hu Chen, Iko Uwais, Scott Adkins, and Michael Jai White should be in every action film as far as I am concerned as they made me say “Fuck Yeah” quite a few times during this flick.

The Head Hunter (On Demand) – With not much backstory we are introduced to this Viking-like warrior who lives alone in a house with beast heads spiked to the wall. This big burly man has flashbacks of his daughter who he once watched over and was snatched up by one of these monsters. Every so often he receives a message or signal to go hunt for the new beast. He goes to war with all beasts over and over looking for the particular one that took his daughter. Finally the day as come that the beast he has been looking for has been spotted. He is more excited than usual to track this monster. Like the rest of the defeated beasts he has decapitated it and carries it home to spike it and show it to his daughter’s grave. Without giving too much away that is when things take a surprising, creepy, and interesting fun turn. An amazing fun monster flick that you do not want to pass on as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

BBQ Massacre (YouTube) – A funny short film about four friends who learn the hard way of buying a RV off of a creepy dude as I give it 3 stars.

 

Vacation Campground Massacre (YouTube) – A short film that claims to be a true story about four women camping and being stalked by a man in a pillow case with a smiley face on it. The killer actually made me laugh a couple times as I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Barn Party Massacre (YouTube) – Two friends go to a barn to drink their asses off that looks like someone’s basement and of course owned by a homicidal maniac! Very uneventful short film as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #470

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Gross Movie Reviews #470

 

Midnight Review (DVD) – Here is something from new independent filmmakers Mitch Tyree and Broaden Torture Productions. This flick follows friends who work for a horror critic website and magazine called “Midnight Review”. As the so-called friends are bickering constantly, a man in a skull mask stalks them and the staff/friends are dropping like flies. In the end I like the concept since the story tries to keep you from figuring out the killer is by having all characters involved feel they are ‘the best horror critic’. Tyree and company’s effort suffers from learning that editing is your friend. Overall some things could have been done differently but I like what they could do project wise in the future as I give this 2 out 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Obsessive (DVD) – The next Mitch Tyree effort is a film about a vlogger/blogger who wants to make a horror movie. He is disgusted with the entries into the genre out there. So he decides he will film everything he does including heading a horror movie convention to do some interviews of other independent filmmakers to get their take. But some of the insight the vlogger/blogger gets is disappointed and just cements his belief the killings need to be real on film. The masked blogger believes that killing these randomly picked people and having it filmed will make them famous since he is filming it as it happens. This second effort from the Broaden Torture Productions crew is much better project that could gain some independent horror fans. This film has the feel or tone of  an “August Underground” film and again editing could have helped in the long term but still a solid effort I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Spookies and Oddities Volume One (DVD) – Three disturbing shorts put together that has an abusive husband listening to the devil on his shoulder, a person who only seems to be able to see and a hear man, and we get to see a woman being stalked. All these are done in a little over 20 minutes by the Broaden Torture Production crew. Most likely little ideas they had that were never fleshed out or just trying out some ideas before they decide to make full features? These DVDs are cool things for the die-hard independent fans that want to get to know the crew better and see what might be in store for the future as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

Weed Wacker Massacre (YouTube) – An absolutely wonderful 12 ½ minute film from a production team called ‘Crap Films’. A weed wacker shorts out and electrocutes a man using it. Thus causing the man’s spirit to take over and the weedwacker begin slicing and dicing through the neighbors. A hilarious idea that ends with a man wrestling the weed wacker on the ground! I always love this kind of simple fun gory stuff as I give it 4 stars.

 

Blood City Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Peter Crady is a tatted up bald dude that gets great joy out of breaking necks! It has been two years since Peter killed his parents and decides to break out of the local asylum to break necks again. Two agents try to track him down so they hit up his sister Susan who really can care less about Peter. The film has it all: bad music, bad acting, bad storyline, made in Austria, and I do not know if it was made on purpose like this or it was actually that bad as I give it 1 star. You really got to search for this independent DVD since it is overseas but very easily can be watched on YouTube.

Werewolf Massacre at Hell’s Gate (DVD) – In Skinner’s Grove back in 1693 the residents burn a woman they believed to be a witch. Of course like all witches in horror movies she curses the future residents of Skinner’s Grove! Now present day a paranormal researcher is finding evidence of werewolves in the cursed town. With the local residents already knowing of the curse they have dispatched armed militants to gun down the creatures. Pretty cheesy and pretty boring at times but just glad I watched it for the title as I give it 1 star. If you search Amazon hard enough you can find a DVD on the cheap.

 

Urban Massacre (DVD) – This movie idea was bad from the beginning as the latest unknown hip hop group is about to burst out big. But before they do they all must deal with an ugly killer clown. Something tells me someone watched “Killjoy” and made a cheaper version of that movie that fails miserably. I give this flick 0 stars for existing.

 

Teen Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from filmmaker Jon Knautz that gave us the creature feature “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer”. Jon Knautz sends teens out into the forest for a science project but find a thing trapped in a cage. Some info on the internet claims this 2004 short can be seen as an extra on the “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer” DVD. I have the DVD and this was not on there? So maybe it is an extra on the Blu-ray or later versions of the DVD? Either way I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (DVD) – Back in 1985 someone got idea of making Fred Ward an action star… They should have stuck with it. Fred Ward plays a New York cop whose death is faked because he has been recruited by an organization that goes after untouchable criminals. They give him a new name in Remo Williams as his training is to tear him down and retrain him without the use of weapons. His body is the weapon as he will eventually be able to dodge bullets and walk on water. But his main goal is to bring down a man who works within the military named Grove who sells weapons to the U.S. military. Grove’s evil sidekick is a young Patrick Kilpatrick who gets into a couple fun action scenes with Ward. Another cool action film from the mid-80s that should not be dismissed when you talk this genre of film with people as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Trench 11 (DVD) – The film is set in WWI, 1918. On the western front of France something terrible is discovered that the Germans were secretly doing. A whole underground tunnel system that was dug out by Germans was buried on purpose. So a small group of Allied soldiers are sent to the abandoned bunker at the same time the Germans make preparations to return so no one can learn their deep evil secrets of what was really going on there. The Allies once arriving find a German lab and people that should have be dead but still live, kind of. The Germans were exploring a biological weapon and may have unleashed something that cannot be contained? If you are a fan of the “Outpost” films and “The Strain” TV show you will most likely enjoy this and if not you will enjoy the exquisite bone crunching autopsy scene as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation (DVD) – A documentary that dives into what started the revolution of filmmaking in Australia that really started in the late 60s and early 70s. Before that they really didn’t have a film industry but slowly filmmakers were starting to pop up and began to put together productions in all genres. George Miller and Brian Trenchard-Smith are two names that Americans know but they have several filmmakers, critics, and actors talk about the crazy times of filmmaking. Just another wonderful and fun documentary for film fans as I give it 4 stars.

 

Caesar & Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (DVD) – Caesar and Otto are just two guys who don’t have a job and now just happen to be on the run from the law. So what better way to escape them is become summer camp counselors?  As they begin their training their father has been thrown out of his house again and decides to hang with his sons. Once their father shows up the trainees for the summer camp start disappearing and it may or may not have something to do with the head counselor and nurse selling body parts?  I may have enjoyed the role of Felissa Rose in the film it isn’t enough for me to really enjoy the horror/comedy as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #469

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Gross Movie Reviews #469

 

The Texas Roadside Massacre (DVD) – Five college kids roll through a small town called Blue Ridge. Karen and friends soon find themselves stranded after getting a hole in the fuel tank of their SUV. They are in for a fight of their lives as if they don’t they will become the next meal at the locally famous Blue Ridge BBQ restaurant. These days the movie can be found on DVD as “Roadside Massacre” as I give it 1 star.

 

Zombie Island Massacre (DVD) – Some stupid Americans on vacation take a cruise to an island where they witness a ceremony that brings the dead back to life. Of course most believe its fake but enough believe it was actually real. When they go back to the bus to leave they find it broken down and the guide missing. So they find themselves wandering through the jungle being picked off one by one by some zombie like creatures. A bit boring but still made it through for its laughable ending. The film’s composer is Harry Manfredini and you can possibly find this movie listed as “The Last Picnic” in some countries as I give it 1 star.

 

Witchtrap (DVD) – Kevin Tenney’s follow-up to “Witchboard” is this low budget film that stars Linnea Quigley and about a haunted mansion. Devon Lauder now owns the Avery mansion and wants to fix it up to be a bed and breakfast. But before that happens he hires paranormal experts to go investigate and make the home ‘safe’. Just to make sure nothing gets too rough a couple rent-a-cops are sent in with the team. The ghost that haunts the mansion wreaks havoc among the experts killing their miserable asses one by one. The film is nowhere near as good as “Witchboard” but has a wonderful shower kill scene involving Linnea Quigley as I give the film 2 stars.

Demons of the Night (DVD) – So Dan Komarek – filmmaker/independent horror fan has finally unleashed on the public a flick he made in 2008 with some friends. I like to believe the film was hidden somewhere in somebody’s dusty ass basement! The truth is somewhere along the way a lot of the original footage and sound were lost. But there is enough of a finished film to make some sense of what goes on…? A priest known as Father Richards shows up at Paul’s house to predict the devil or something is going to rise in six days on Halloween. Mr. Richards and Paul head to the woods known as Sword Valley searching for a graveyard. They get lost and separated and the priest encounters several weird ass people and creatures. Their main goal is to stop this from happening by any means. But just like many first independent projects there are many flaws. Dan the film is bad but I still felt entertained as it had a nostalgic feel to it while watching. The film felt like I stumbled upon an unfinished project from Jon McBride and the Polonia Brothers. Yes the sound issues did make the film very hard to follow but it was still fun and sometimes that is all you can ask for as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Litost (DVD) – A very different independent film from Cody Rapp who comes out from the beginning to let you the viewer know the film was made without a script and budget on purpose. Even though no definition for the word ‘Litost’ is actually found in the dictionary the word is being defined as – is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s misery. We are introduced to the main character who says little throughout the film waking up in his bedroom. Every day he wakes, go to work, come back home, fights his illness. Rinse and repeat like most of us. Some public domain film footage from several films is used throughout the movie to move the story along. In the end to me at least it has that ‘art film’ feel to it as its expressing this character’s rage. Stay tuned until the end of the film to understand. I give it 2 out 4 stars for being more different than anything and most likely I am not the audience this film is aimed at but hey Mr. Rapp you did make a film so that is its own reward! I do have to mention I found one scene a little creepy when the main character eye balls the camera while forcing out his afternoon grumpy! And plus he didn’t wash his hands…

 

Massacre Mafia Style (Blu-ray) – A wonderful exploitation film that was written, produced, directed and starred in by Duke Mitchell as Mimi. Mimi is exiled to Italy at the age of 15 because of his father being a mafia boss who gets caught in the U.S. so he is exiled. Two years after his son is born and his wife dies of cancer Mimi wants to head back to the U.S. and take over all the bookies and hookers. Of course Mimi heads to Hollywood to do this and looks up an old friend to help him make this happen. Together the two guns down every pimp, bookie, and mafia person that gets in their way. He goes legit to make pornos among other things to not rein blood in the streets. After his best friend is killed he decides it is time to head back to Italy and settle. The film has over the top action and is the ADD version of “The Godfather”. Can’t sit for three hours to watch a mafia film then watch this as it gets it done in a little over 82 minutes as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre (YouTube) – Mason and friends don’t agree with their college professor on his teachings. They believe it is all mumbo jumbo so they get drunk, drive to the professor’s house, and decide hey it’s cool to kill his whole family. But the professor does survive the attack and awakes to find out his family is dead so from his hospital bed conjures a demon! This demon kills the four college students one by one as the man lies in bed. The film is mostly known for Christopher Lee doing the narration before and after the film. But here was the kicker Mr. Lee was filmed by another producer in 1976 for a project that never happened and the footage was sold to the producers of thus said film. Mr. Lee supposedly lawyered up to take the producer to court but thought twice because of the time and money to get his name off the film… You can find the film grainy and in its glory on YouTube as I give it 1 ½ stars. This massacre title wasn’t horrible but wasn’t good either and you will most likely forget what you watched literally within hours of it.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #468

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Gross Movie Reviews #468

Camp Hideaway Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Of course a ‘massacre’ film you should not take too serious and you might actually enjoy it for what it is? A cheap gory flick with a naked Tina Krause! Anyway, a campsite and the small town woods are full of urban myths among the locals who talk about crazy satanic shit going down and people disappearing. The locals try to warn the out-of-towners but no one listens. Tina Krause comes into town looking for missing friends and cannot find any clues while three men conspire to kill people and sell their shit for money! There is some gore and again there is Tina Krause so enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

Halloween Mind Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – We are introduced to a man named Carl. Carl is in a bad need of meds. Without his meds lots of weirdness happens as example an alien or demon has made its way into Carl’s chest to start talking to Carl and control him. Carl talks to it like it is his inner voice. And his inner voice is explaining to Carl he needs no meds and needs to kill! Not only kill but dismember people including his doctor who may or may not be trying to help? The film has its dull moments but also has its hilarious moments of gore and makes you crave Scruffy’s Discount Liquor and Pizza (you need to see the flick just for this commercial) for that I give the film 2 stars.

 

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (DVD) – An old Eye-talian flick from 1985 where a group of people survive a plane crash into a legendary part of the Amazon called ‘Dinosaur Valley’. The land is forbidden to outsiders so no one will be looking for the group. Now on their own the group must venture through a jungle filled with gators, cannibalistic tribes, Piranha, leeches, quicksand, and of course slave traders. Not near the level of craziness of “Cannibal Holocaust” but is one those fun jungle genre movies that is known by many names and very possible you may have seen it and not know it. I give this fun jungle flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Movie House Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – This film was made by the same dude who gave us “Hobgoblins”! If this title isn’t striking your memory the other title it was released under “Blood Theatre” may as it also starred Mary Woronov. Spotlite Theaters owns several theaters and they have just acquired an old single screen theater that has been reopened several times without any luck. The biggest problem the old theater has going against it is the theater is haunted. So the manager of Spotlite Theater gives three young employees a chance to make some extra cash if they can get it cleaned up and profitable on opening night? As the three work hard to get it open people begin to die again one by one, mostly off screen. The lesser known film was made for nearly nothing and does not pretend to be a big glamorous horror flick. Thus it works in its favor and we get a good amount of screen time from the legendary Mary Woronov just having fun with her role as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Night Patrol (DVD) – Oh nutsack, it is a lesser known comedy from Jackie Kong that stars Linda Blair and filled hilariously bad jokes. Officer Melvin White has just got promoted to night patrol. Only issue Melvin has with this promotion is he also works his craft, “stand-up” as The Unknown Comic” at night which of course will interfere with the police work. Melvin also has another issue since he is The Unknown Comic he has a bag on his head which hides his identity. Problem is someone is robbing places all over the city with a bag on their head looking like The Unknown Comic. I laughed many times through this flick at the bad jokes, enjoyed the cameo appearances made by Andrew Dice Clay and Pat Morita, and Linda Blair playing it completely straight makes this comedy well worth watching multiple times as I give it 3 stars. By some chance that isn’t enough for you to watch there is an amazing “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” bit near the end of the film!

 

Messiah of Evil (DVD) – A young woman heads to a small town on the coast of California because she has lost contact with her father. Worried she wants to find him quickly and begins her search at his home reading his journals. As she investigates the town she quickly understands this town is a little weird and hooks up with a swinging young couple who just like the town. But things get creepy quickly as all three learn the town is full of the undead. A prophecy about a man who came from the sea a hundred years ago predicted as they will take over world. I don’t know if this truly a zombie flick or not but it is bizarre enough I will be revisiting this flick at some point again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Killings at Outpost Zeta (YouTube) – A no budget sci-fi creature feature flick set some time in the future where humans are trying to set up different planets for space stations, rest stops for ships, research into other galaxies. The planet is rather new compared to other planets as there is no life yet? But Star Fleet has lost contact with its Pathfinder team it sent there and a rescue team that was sent there shortly after. For two years there were no incidents then these two in recent months. Now with pressure on Star Fleet to get answers they need volunteers for the suicide mission of getting the answers. Once the new team is on the planet they feel like they are being watched at all times. The crew gets to the outpost to find everyone dead and these little black masses left behind. A creature that was found the units before them is the cause of death and reproducing from the black masses killing the new crew off one by one. The creature is seen less than creatures in “The Boogens”. A super cheap ass “Alien” rip-off with not a ton of plot that makes a fun movie to watch with a group of friends as I give it 2 stars.

Closure (DVD) – A short film from Alex Cassun about a police detective who wants to speak with a dangerous suspect. The suspect injured during the arrest grants the wish of the detective but be careful what you wish for as I give the quick short film 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #466

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Gross Movie Reviews #466

A Meowy Halloween (DVD) – Steve Rudzinski digs deep into his comedy bag to bring you this little gem about a talking cat named Whiskers and its owner Wally. Wally just happens to be a police detective and a man whose family was cursed many years ago. If Wally isn’t spitting candy corn out of the car he is busy with his stakeout of a possible witch in the neighborhood. But Whiskers as much scarier things going on at home as the cat believes the strange things that are happening are the work of a haunting. And Whiskers will stop at nothing to have the ghosts removed as long as Wally’s credit card covers the cost? Yes, the movie is completely silly but once again Steve and crew prove it doesn’t all have to be about horror as they pull a family film out of thin air. If by some chance you been living under a rock and have not seen any of Steve’s movies it is time for you to visit www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

 

American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet (DVD) – The curse was me sitting through this dull ass flick. But anyway a couple young women steal a shrunken head and sell it to a so-called paranormal expert. He uses the head for PR stunt for his upcoming show. The expert, Hunter Perry, gets attendees to play hot potato with the shrunken head and once eliminated from the game Lilith Ratchet soon comes to eliminate them in real life. Oh this horrific as I give it one star. The film isn’t as bad as it is dull.

 

Urban Warriors (YouTube) – Just another Italian post-apocalyptic flick where three research techs survive a nuclear war in their underground lab. They dig their asses out of the underground lab only to find things have changed. The world is fucked and it is filled with cannibalistic, leather-clad, motorcycle gangs where normal people are hard to come by. But that does not stop Brad of the research team to try to survive and save the human race. If you are lucky you get to see this film with the Michael Dudikoff introduction as this flick lacks the fun that most Italian post-apocalyptic films are when watching. This film suffers from “it could have been better even with its low budget” but hey shit happens as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (DVD) – One of JR Bookwalter’s early 90s films made for nearly nothing that has a group of space travelers trapped on the unknown world of Gurgon. Or just somewhere out in the middle of the woods of Somewhere, Ohio. The space travelers must deal with the dinosaurs that are trying to eat them as they must figure a way off the planet. A hilariously bad movie that apparently has a few stories behind it from I have heard from some Bookwalter fans as I give it one star.

 

Godmonster of Indian Flats (YouTube/DVD) – Possibly one of the most random films about a mutant sheep attacking a small town. This western horror flick is about a young farm dude named Eddie and a university professor named Dr. Clemens. A giant bloody embryo is found next to Eddie in the sheep pin after a bad night on the town. Dr. Clemens convinces Eddie to take it to his lab so he can research it. But soon it mutates, hatches, and terrorizes the small western town as they were going to use it as a sideshow attraction to make money for the town. The movie isn’t real good but the monster is actually really cool looking and makes the film entertaining enough to stick it out as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Ground Zero (DVD) – A film somewhat based on fact has a second generation cameraman Harvey getting mixed up with the royal commission in 1984. They are investigating the claims of aborigines being left in the way of the blasts from nine A-bombs during the late 50s into the 60s. Harvey doesn’t pay too much attention to this until the government comes knocking at his door knowing his father was the cameraman for the tests. And his father may have hidden away some incriminating evidence of the event somewhere in an old film can. Mr. Denton gets neck deep into the investigating after he finds out his father was murdered twenty years ago and believes his answer is out in the desert where his father’s old friend lives. Donald Pleasence happy to see the young Denton explains the events and how his father got mixed up with it. In the end Harvey’s effort is useless but the ending of what happened to the lost footage makes the movie that much more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Once Upon a Time at Christmas (DVD) – December 14th marks the day that Santa and his Miss Claus begin their murder spree in Woodridge, New York. The small town police have trouble piecing together why the murders are taking place. But when they figure out it the murders are traced to the 12 days of Christmas they have the clue they needed for the killer Santa. Apparently Nick Conway is a military vet that lost his mind and eventually had a bitter divorce. This leads Nick looking for his daughter so they can be a family again. Another holiday slasher to add to your favorites list when Christmas rolls around as I give it 2 stars.

 

Future Zone (DVD) – For those who pay attention this B-movie sequel to “Future Force” have David Carradine’s character John Tucker facing off with a drug lord. John’s son Billy travels 30 years from the future to help his father live another day and bring down the drug lord. The film has it all David A. Prior directing, Charles Napier is the mayor, and Carradine using a Nintendo power glove to blow things up equals B-movie gold as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Darkside of the Moon (YouTube/DVD) – The year is 2022 and a ship called Spacecore-1 is on a dangerous mission of fixing satellites in orbit. The ship has a malfunction and they drift to the dark side of the moon where communications fail. The crew has about 24 hours to get things up and running again or they will run out of air. As they are floating out in space they come across a NASA shuttle that hasn’t been seen in 30 years. They board it in hopes of using it to fix their ship’s problems only to find a dead body aboard the shuttle. The crew brings it back and several weird things begin to happen to the crew members while they are alone. Who is it? What is it? When the dead body comes to life it seems the devil is among them and this has some connection to the Bermuda Triangle back on Earth. A pretty solid flick that feels like a 80s Corman sci-fi flick but isn’t. One of those films that got lost in the direct-to-video shuffle during the early 90s as I give it 3 stars.

 

Captain Marvel (Theater) – Carol Danvers becomes a powerful superhero by accident when testing a secret plane for an air force scientist. It is set in the 90s and meant to connect Nick Fury, the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, and a few other things for the Marvel movie fans. But like the “Thor” films before it the film is mostly just a ‘place holder’ until the real action begins with the next “Avengers” film. “Captain Marvel” is entertaining but not memorable as I give the big popcorn flick 3 stars as it makes me wanting the “Avengers” movie to come sooner than later. Again it’s no “Iron Man” or “Black Panther” but not much is?

 

Aquaman (DVD) – Arthur aka Aquaman must come back home to Atlantis to claim his kingdom before it is taken by his brother and he uses it to declare war on the rest of the world. The movie doesn’t take itself too serious and much more entertaining than the serious DC “Superman” and “Batman” flicks. If that wasn’t enough it does have Dolph Lundgren and Willem Dafoe in important roles which I am always a fan of those guys! DC pay attention yinz did something right here with Aquaman and Wonder Woman as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (On Demand) – An absolute fun animated film with not your usual storyline. A young teen Miles Morales is bitten by a spider while working on his artwork in the subway with his uncle. Soon his world is flipped upside down when he meets Peter Parker and he is going to show Miles the ropes of being a Spider-man. But while Parker is fighting Kingpin he dies and Miles promises Peter he will destroy Fisk’s super-collider. Fisk wants his family back so bad he is willing to destroy the city of New York and possibly all of reality. But with the open portal to other realities several Spider-people come from parallel universes and they must help Miles face off against Kingpin and shut down the collider. The story of Miles is perfect as he must now be the Spider-man of his dimension. Two things made this film absolutely perfect for me. First, one of the alternate Spider-men is Peter B. Parker who is mid-40s, divorced, and out of shape. Second, spoiler alert people I finally get an appearance of Spider-man 2099 in a movie! This flick gets four stars all the way and I hope to see a possible sequel or just another story to expand this universe.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019