Gross Movie Reviews #572

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Gross Movie Reviews #572

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (Blu-ray) – Many people also know it as ‘Let Sleeping Corpses Lie’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came for her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and the detective believes “the damn hippie”, George, is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill parasites on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give the film 2 ½ stars but 4 out of 4 stars all the way for Synapse Films going all out giving UK zombie fans an absolute pristine Blu-ray. The film looks beautiful, super colorful and it is like watching it for the first time again… Synapse made sure to pack this disc with a couple commentaries, a documentary on filmmaker Jorge Grau along with a few other goodies that will make you happy you made this purchase so go to www.synapse-films.com for your copy now.

Studio 666 (On Demand) – So The Foo Fighters are working on another album but have hit a snag? It is their tenth album and they are feeling pressure from their manager to make this happen but Dave Grohl and company haven’t got anything on paper. The manager super-hot with their pissing around sends them to a known haunted house in Encino, California to actually work on the new album. They all agree it has a great creepy death vibe but think nothing of it until weird things begin to happen and their roadie is killed while hooking up equipment. Meanwhile trying to continue on and Dave having writer’s block he does find the basement where he finds a bad ass never finished track from the band “Dream Widow”. He quickly becomes possessed and is determined to finish this epic song which will be the whole album! There are demons, possession, talk of Satan, great music, humor, and who would have guessed that Dave Grohl can actually act? Now I won’t go “one of the best films of 2022” but this was a lot of fun and a pleasant surprise for horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

Feeders 3 (DVD) – Mark Polonia dips into the Polonia Brothers archive to make the ‘Feeders’ franchise a trilogy. These two Indy cult films were from the mid to late 90s starring the brothers and Jon McBride and have garnished some fanfare from Indy collectors as some of the most fun films you could see? Well, 25 years later and the aliens have returned to harvest humans as the usual Polonia cast all make an appearance including “a photo and footage from the past two films of Jon McBride” (that was a nice touch). A F.B.I. agent is visiting Wellsboro, Pa. as it is the anniversary and been 25 years since the “Wellsboro 10” with the case never being solved. He is investigating the lone survivor Derek who is still hanging out in an asylum following the event many years ago but still trying to warn all the people Wellsboro aliens are coming to harvest them! To give the film some filler and humor is the filmmaker making a cheap film on the “Wellsboro 10” but that doesn’t even matter because the highlight might be the aliens setting a trap for Santa Claus… Cheesy and stupid but it made me laugh my ass off as I give this third entry into the “Feeders” franchise 2 ½ stars.

Dominion (DVD) – I am always a sucker for late 80s to mid-90s direct-to-video stuff. Especially when it stars Tim Thomerson and Brion James! Anyway a group of hunters head for a super special secluded hunting/camping grounds that is run by Lynnwood Adventures. But after an accident last year the owner Lynnwood hasn’t been seen or heard from much leaving his partner in charge. So when Harris and his group are being shot at by a sniper on a bridge in the mountains its Lynnwood who wants revenge on all hunters for accidentally killing his kid. Not the best of action flicks but I am a sucker for stuff like this every time and I give it 2 stars.

Bloody Pit of Horror (DVD) – A fun oddball flick from the 60s where the legend of The Crimson Executioner is still haunting a castle over 300 years later. He was entombed into his own device the ‘Iron Maiden’ (insert Bill and Ted joke here) to never be opened. But the tomb is accidentally opened when a group of people who break into the castle to take risky photographs using the castle as the backdrop. Soon people are being murdered and could it be the Crimson Executioner is back? Or is it the retired strong man who has lost his marbles living there? Anyway the whole time I kept waiting for Santo or Batman to show up. Looking for pointless fun then make this your first stop as this film caused me to laugh quite a few times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

New Year’s Evil (Blu-ray) – I will admit I have only watched this film twice in my life this being the third and very late to the party of seeing this early holiday slasher. Hell, this one gets forgotten often when horror fans talk slashers? Anyhow third time was a charm because this updated Blu-ray from Kino Lorber is ridiculously awesome! There were literally whole scenes I had never understood because of how crappy the quality was on the other versions I watched.  But anyhow TV host is counting down the ‘New Wave’ music each hour until the ball drops but there is a killer on the loose named “Evil” who is killing a person for each time zone. Can he be stopped in time before he kills Blaze? It has its moments but nowhere as good as some of the other holiday titles but this Blu-ray is a definite for the hardcore collectors out there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dash Cam (On Demand) – If you took the recent film ‘Spree’ and the found footage film ‘Area 51’ jammed them together and make sure the lead character is a despicable American you will hate in the first five minutes of the film that is your film here? Anyhow Annie doesn’t believe in the pandemic and flies to the UK to fuck with her friend who is living a different life during the pandemic. Annie like most young people has a live stream show called “Band Car” where she is constantly rapping or just recording everything she does. Annie is having a good old time being a complete asshole until she meets Angela and her weirdness and still finds a way to be an asshole and a classic example why many people believe humanity should just end since we all have no common sense any longer? For the most part this film wasn’t made for me and I think making the Annie character such an asshole along with the scrolling on the side of the screen takes away from any momentum you are trying to scare people with the Angela character. I give this quickly forgotten film 1 star.

Art House Massacre (DVD) – This 2012 film is hidden in plain sight called ‘Art of Darkness’ but its original title is so much better and makes so much more sense. Besides three minutes in we have a great eye gouge scene there is an artist who works with flesh let’s say. Liz is a model who has taken a break because she and the boyfriend try to have a baby I believe and they lost it. She takes a modeling gig begrudging but knows they need the money. She meets the artist/serial killer and is kidnapped for far more demented reasons. Ben the boyfriend pursues looking for her with no answers and the cops being to slow but both parties find out much more unsettling truths about the artist once they start digging hoping for a clue to find Liz. This was a nice surprise as the usual ‘massacre’ crap is crap where this was a nice sadistic serial killer film that I give 2 ½ stars.

Nightmare Beach (Blu-ray) – Great cast, its 1988, Umberto Lenzi is connected to this project, it stars John Saxon and Michael Parks, I felt like I was in for a cheeseball treat! A notorious biker Diablo is executed right before spring break in South Florida for a murder he did not commit. But justice was done to make the mayor happy until it isn’t long before Diablo’s grave is disturbed and a mysterious biker is roaming the streets for rando spring breakers to execute them. This movie doesn’t disappoint with the 80s cheese as the whole thing comes down to a cover up by John Saxon’s cop character and the mayor. I had a lot fun watching this for the first time and looks absolutely wonderful, again thank you Kino Lorber as I give it 3 stars.

Frankenstein 1970 (DVD) – No where the best of the Boris Karloff films but Karloff plays the Baron Frankenstein who is concerned about his legacy? Being broke and needing money for equipment he allows a film crew into his castle and begins to even interact with the filming while he is busy with his toilet paper Frankenstein in his secret lair! It does drag a good bit but when Boris is on screen this late 50s flick is must see just to enjoy Karloff just because as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Jurassic Thunder (DVD) – This 2019 film tries to be funny but fails miserably as a comic book store owner opens a one of a kind comic to read the tale of zombies, dinosaurs, and the military trying to stop WWIII from happening. A dictator in Africa has unleashed something horrible on the world and the U.S. and Russia don’t want to use nukes so let’s use commando dinosaurs. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun but instead is a lot of jokes falling flat and bad CGI that makes Asylum look like they make “JAWS” every time out as I give this turd 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Gross Movie Reviews #561

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Gross Movie Reviews #561

The Amityville Curse (DVD) – Okay kids if you are counting at home this number five in the series where a priest is murdered in his confessional thingy and someone had the bright idea to store it in the legendary haunted house. (It’s not the original house but just go with it.) We get character actor Kim Coates as part of a group of five people garb the home to fix and flip before that was a thing on TV. As they begin work on the house almost immediately supernatural shit happens or is the character Frank just crazy or is the house possessed by the confessional thingy? This movie leaves you with more questions than answers but we do get a possessed cat in the last frame of the film to keep the series alive as I give this entry 2 stars.

Easter Bunny Massacre (DVD) – During the underappreciated holiday weekend called Easter a group of high school seniors head out to party in the woods. But in the morning they wake to find one of their own has been murdered and all unsure who did it? Of course the best thing is to cover it up and a year passes only for these degenerates to be invited to an Easter celebration and go to it. All their invites is from the dead girl Heather but also this film is from the U.K. believing high school seniors care about Easter? Any hooey, another “massacre” flick off the list as I give it 1 star.

Massacre County (DVD/YouTube) – If by some chance you live overseas and reading this review the film over your neck of the woods is ‘Massacre Country’… it was made in Brazil and they are trying to cater to all audiences, Nevermind. We are immediately introduced to a clown being interrogated by authorities who they believe just massacred a group of people? Nevermind the sadistic looking farmer wearing the animal mask but there is a reason as the story unfolds. Most of the film is a story going back and forth between clown and cop telling what happened. Basically a group of horny people head for a vacation for a few days only to be met by two clowns who want to burglarize them for their money. But things get bloody and sideways quickly. A fun little weird horror flick that didn’t need to be pushing the two hour time limit or it would have been much more enjoyable as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville 1992: It’s About Time (DVD) – And onto number six but this one looks like it is somewhat coherent or at least at first glance since it stars Stephen Macht and Megan Ward. This time around Stephen Macht brings home a possessed clock home for the family from the east coast. Bottom line kids’ evil must find a new home! After Macht’s character gets chomped on by the neighborhood dog Peaches he loses his mind and draws pictures of the original Amityville home and things get weird for the whole family. It was somewhat entertaining as I give this entry 2 stars.

The Haunted Strangler (DVD/YouTube) – This late 50s flick has Boris Karloff in old school London as a novelist who is investigating a killer named “Styles” who is long dead. James believed Styles never fit the actions he was accused of and wants to look deeper into the murders that happened decades before. Rankin’s research revolves around a missing surgical knife from a doctor’s kit he believes this is the key to what he is looking for? Mr. Rankin figures out the knife was buried with Styles and digs it up but to his horror the object changes him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style. Every time Rankin grabs for the knife he becomes a different person and begins to murder knowing in the end the knife must be buried again or destroyed. Not the perfect gem late in Karloff’s career but still a good one to watch as clearly Karloff enjoyed the role as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The New Invisible Man (DVD/YouTube) – The film in Mexico is known as ‘El Hombre Invisible’ and dubbed in English on the YouTube. A man named Charles Hill is wrongly accused of murder but the police want their man and he was the one found at the murder scene. Meanwhile Hill’s brother is working on a formula for invisibility that the wife of Charles hopes he perfects to use on Hill in prison to get him out. Hill’s brother makes a surprise visit to the prison hospital since authorities are worried about Charles and injects him with the experimental formula. Surprisingly the formula works and Charles is able to escape prison being hidden by his wife but the authorities are determined to track him down and bring him back. As usual Charles goes a bit insane and wants to rule the world but his insanity stops him from making the clean escape from authorities as I give this late 50s flick 2 stars.

Amityville: A New Generation (DVD) – In the seventh entry they are just throwing money around as we got a cast of Richard Roundtree, David Naughton, Terry O’Quinn, and that bad ass woman from ‘First Blood II’! A group of artists live in a building where they are planning to have an art show to show off their works when they ain’t bumping uglies. A homeless person gives a mirror to a photographer and asks him, “to look deeper”. Once the mirror enters the loft of course it is killing people who look into it because it’s from the original Amityville house again. A couple sweaty sex scenes, some gore, the photographer finds out his father was the homeless man who gave him the mirror and wants him to enter the family business of murder… supposedly? Surprisingly the film isn’t horrible but the ending seems to go on forever as I give this entry 2 stars.

Amityville: Dollhouse (DVD) – This mid-90s flick is the eighth entry into the movie series where a family moves into a newly built home in the middle of nowhere. Dad finds a replica Amityville dollhouse out back in the shed and brings it in for a birthday present for his daughter. Of course the replica doesn’t take long in possessing the newly built home and trying to kill its occupants when it isn’t causing stepmom having sex dreams of her teenage stepson causing someone who watched this to start a sub-genre for PornHub?! When the replica isn’t playing on everyone’s dream apparently it is cheaper to build a house when there is an old fireplace? Believe me pay attention as this film goes off the rails with its dialog and how the whole kids, step kids, mom and dad dynamic doesn’t make a lick of sense but it’s an Amityville film so let’s not let that get in the way of logic as I give this sequel 1 star. 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #551

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Gross Movie Reviews #551

The Leopard Man (DVD) – This 1943 classic has a nightclub manager convince a model he is sweet on to walk during a dance routine with a leopard on a leash like it’s an everyday thing. Well the cat gets rattled by the dancer on purpose and escapes into the woods. Shortly after a young woman is found killed by this cat supposedly? This of course sets the town to fear the worst and lock themselves in until the cat is caught by authorities but club owner Manning believes it is something else not the cat? A fun black and white thriller worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, and Tia Carrere star in this 1987 feature that feels a few years older but has a young man play hero in a convenience store then be run down by a group of drunken young people. Mom not ready to let go of her son asks a favor of a friend down the road to use her voodoo to bring her son back to life. Doing so he returns to life or life of the undead to seek revenge on those who wronged him. If you like your horror features cheesy this is super cheesy as I give it 2 stars.

The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.

Crypt of the Living Dead (DVD) – After an archeologist’s strange death, his son Chris comes to a small island that has a lot of superstitions of where his father was digging. Chris comes to bury him and decides it should be where this dig was but a tomb needs moved. When this is done Hannah the Queen of the Vampires is unleashed and night after night she gains strength willing each death of the superstitious villagers. Chris not exactly believing in the legend but knows something is weird wants to bury the tomb before any more deaths occur. A slow burn 1973 vampire flick that is worth a watch if you never heard of it as I give it 2 stars.

I Walked With a Zombie (DVD) – This 1943 thriller has a nurse sent from the states to a small island to take care of a man’s wife who is considered ‘mental’ for her coma-like state she has fallen into. It is believed by the doctor there that Mrs. Holland suffered a side effect of a high fever that has caused her to blankly stare like a zombie and not do much? The nurse falling in love with the husband but feels not all is being done to help the patient looks into the jungle for answers as the natives may know how to help the young lady in the coma-like trance as I give the film 2 stars.

Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .

Chompy and the Girls (DVD) – If there wasn’t enough oddball weird horror films for 2021 there is this feature about a young woman trying to commit suicide but fails. Jackson is depressed and even she tries to reach out she fails at that too until she randomly texts a man who she just found out was her father six months ago. They agree to meet in a park for the first time and talk until they witness a man walk up to a girl and swallow her whole with his gigantic mouth! From there Jackson and father Sam are on the run as this thing on foot seems to track them down no matter where they go? It gets even weirder as they feel trap by this interdimension being they communicate with it and find out it isn’t the horrible parasite they thought it was but a being trying to save the world until Sam’s wife kills it. Now it is up too Jackson, Sam and Jackson’s friend who took a roofie to figure out what needs to be done. Movie is weird as balls and I loved it as I give it 3 stars.

George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume One (DVD) – An anthology of films that are introduced to audiences by the zombie master himself George Romero who seems to have fun with each intro. First entry is about jungle cannibals, second is about a lonely finding something on a beach that was supposed to stay buried, and third is directed by Tom Savini that has a doctor making a house call for a teenage boy who seems to be dying? Fun little stories for horror fans that is shaped like your favorite old uncle is telling them to put you to sleep as I give this collection 2 stars.

Slumber Party Massacre (Remake/SyFy Channel) – The story begins in 1993 at a cabin where driller killer Russ Thorn attacks a group of young women just having a nice weekend. One woman survives the tragic ordeal and 28 years later has a daughter (Dana) who is about to partake in a weekend with the girls at a cabin near this event. Along the way we get a few images, music, lines of dialogue to pay homage to the original. But in this role reversal remake of young people being into crime podcasts and murder tours we find out the girls are there to see if Russ Thorn still exists? They have plans to put this legend to rest! Dana wants to do it for her mom and if that means putting the males across the lake in danger so be it. Now the role reversal thing is more the males are the victims and show nudity unlike the women in the original. But spoiler alert women fucked Thorn up in the original also so I wasn’t totally sure why this was part of the storyline other than to be filler? The only expectation I had going into this film was “don’t suck out loud”. It wasn’t terrible but I feel it will be forgettable for most young horror fans just because the original is lost on most as many may have never heard of it unlike: ‘Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St., Hellraiser’, the usual suspects. They should have just made it “Slumber Party Massacre V” just to see what horror fan is actually paying attention to this besides me? Either way you knew I was watching it because it is a “massacre” film as I give it 2 stars.

V/H/S/94 (Shudder) – With the last entry leaving horror fans disappointed it seemed filmmakers went out of their way to give something extra to fans and it paid off. We begin with a SWAT team entering a warehouse where they were expecting to bust a huge drug ring but instead find TVs in different rooms and victims/dead bodies with their eyes ripped out in front of them. It almost looks like a cult-like suicide pact among the dead humans there. As the SWAT team goes floor to floor investigating they stop long enough for the viewer/us to watch a segment. We get a rat man segment, zombie segment, experimenting on humans segment which is just brutal fun, a militia segment where members are dying mysteriously, and the SWAT team is the wrap around as the viewer follows them through this maze of the bizarre. This film is so gory that it is almost cartoonish at times… The only bad thing about this wonderful horror flick is the wrap around, which is very unusual for any anthology film. The ending they give the wrap around just sucks and takes a little away from such a solid entry that more than made up for ‘V/H/S: Viral’. In the end I still enjoyed this near perfect anthology as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Inheritance (YouTube/DVD) – A newer film from a newer filmmaker Eric Palmer who has the task of telling a story about a woman inheriting a cabin. Scarlett just learns about her father dying and she has inherited this cabin and is already leaning towards selling it and being done with it. But after a couple girlfriends come over talking vacation they convince Scarlett with friends they should check it out? One problem, when they arrive at the cabin good old Uncle Drake is too pleasant on the young lady talking about selling the place and explains it has been in the family for a very long time. Scarlett very late into the film finds out Uncle Drake likes to conjure demons and needs young Scarlett for a sacrifice! A lot of times I am all for character development in an Indy film but this somehow had a little too much as they put on the back burner Uncle Drake runs a satanic cult that can conjure a demon? Just my opinion but felt the whole Uncle Drake arc should have been the main focus not Scarlett’s friends getting to know each other even more around the fire. I feel there was more of a story to tell about Uncle Drake to make this film a little different but again Eric was able to give the audience characters you actually feel something for as I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #546

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Gross Movie Reviews #546

The Manson Family Massacre (DVD) – Or as I would to call this film “crap we already knew”… Anyway the film is set in 1992 after reacting the beginning of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ with the Manson Family murders we are introduced to a young female musician who is looking to go darker with her music. Of course she lives in the place where the murders took place and it gets a little paranormal from there as the film does flashbacks of the Manson Family dealing with their drug deals and the fallout from them. Blah, blah blah, yinz all know the stories by now. There isn’t anything knew other than the short film about the musician that doesn’t know she is dreaming with most of the film being a reenactment like it was on the ID channel or something. I hate to say it folks but this crap can eat donkey shit as I give 0 stars.

Swim (Tubi) – Joey Lawrence and family are heading to their favorite rental property on the coast for a month of vacation. When they arrive the family quickly realizes their property manager dude sucks at his job and fixed nothing! And oh yeah there is a shark randomly stalking their vacation home but what else would you expect from a cheap boring Asylum flick. Yes kids a storm begins and soon the horrible stalker, the shark jumps into the home where the family is trapped and is forced to fend off the fiend until help comes since they didn’t know to leave during a horrible storm? As the water rises I’d hope for people to be eaten by this ridiculous shark but the body count is super low and boring. This is prime example of why I get more excited for random shark films ‘Shark Exorcist’ and ‘Ouija Shark’ as I give this 0 stars.

Bats the Awakening (DVD) – Apparently this UK film couldn’t afford Lou Diamond Phillips and went ahead anyway to establish a killer bat film with two guys sharing a girl in an abandoned home… Wait, what did PornHub make a horror movie? No fellow yinzers they did not but I will give kudos for one of the weirdest openings to a horror movie I have seen in quite some time as it made me question if I had the right film on. Anyhow a family returns to the family home (this wasn’t fully explained in the film plot but IMDB claimed there was a toxic spill, but there wasn’t anyone else in this village, Chernobyl???) They quickly figure out they must battle it out with the bat creature that lives in the attic or they should of just called Lou Diamond Phillips anyway as I give the film 1 star.

Black Friday (DVD) – An interesting thriller for oldie but goodie movie fans that stars Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. A gangster has his brain transplanted into another man’s body to save a doctor’s friend. Of course there are side effects and the gangster has some debts to settle. Not a horror movie at all but this dynamitic duo is well worth the effort to seek out and enjoy as I give it 3 stars.

Naked Girl Murdered in the Park (DVD) – A supposedly long lost giallo from 1972 that recently got a release from Full Moon of all places. An older fellow has just taken out a huge ass insurance policy and within hours is found dead on an amusement ride. The insurance company is super curious and does not wanna pay out the dough as they begin their own investigation aside from the local authorities. The daughter of the man who seems to benefit the most from this death keeps getting strange phone calls and just wants to why her father was even at an amusement park. As the insurance investigator gets in deep with the family including the daughter and her sister (again is this another plot from PornHub or was this film already predicting the future of internet porn?!) he proceeds to finds answers but the bodies are also dropping. Giallos are not my usual cup of tea but I kind of liked this one as I gotta give it 2 ½ stars.

Blood Red Sky (DVD) – Think ’30 Days of Night’ on an airplane as the wife described it which I agree with her and that does not happen often. A plane lands in Scotland because the threat of terrorists and authorities has the plane surrounded with a boy coming out of the cargo hold area and no one else. Then the movie back tracks several hours to show how we got to this point. The plane leaves its destination with no issues as the film centers around a boy and his mother. The mother is heading to America with her child for a treatment that could help her with the rare condition she has… being a vampire! Anyhow Dominic Purcell and other hijackers have a different plan as they take over the plane once over the ocean and plan to blow it up once they have gotten what they came for. The mother is shot during the fracas trying to protect the boy and believes to be dead but her vampire powers kick in and you would have thought Dominic Purcell would have seen this coming? ‘Blade III’ folks he should know better?  Once the vampire powers kick in the mother is all about kicking ass or eating hijackers to protect the boy. One problem she spread her virus to a complete psycho hijacker who turns some of his crew into immortals which led to me screaming at the TV a couple times, “we got to get these mother fucking vampires off the mother fucking plane”! Great story, lots of gore, the film runs a little long but another under the radar horror film out there that horror fans should be more than happy to eat up as I give it 3 stars.

Santo: The Fist of Death (DVD) – An early 80s Santo flick that was super boring as sisters fight over something cosmic called “The Almighty Star” and they talk to a C-3PO head that is their god. Meanwhile, Santo or man with no face comes to fulfill the prophecy but must ride a boat for what seemed 75% of the film before he faces off with the Gold Power Ranger which lasts a whole 30 seconds. This was super lame compared to past Santo films where he is suplexing werewolves in caves as I can only give this a ½ star.

A Dark Song (DVD) – Before all the ‘Hereditary’ bullshit there was this lesser known Irish horror film that made a splash at the festivals a few years ago. A woman who recently lost her child which we do not learn how exactly until later in the film is renting a home to set up a ritual. But not just any ritual, but something that deals with angels and demons and shit where she must set up everything perfectly and hires a man who has claimed to do three of these so-called rituals. This is all so this woman can see and talk to her son again as it has been beyond devastating loss she cannot get over. Sophia must painfully follow the procedure to go through each stage and follow instructions without question since this process can take months? As the torture becomes unbearable she is about to bail but quickly learns she must finish the ritual. If looking for crazy creatures and gore you will be watching this for the wrong reasons. Looking for a story driven horror film that literally focuses in on two characters to carry it for over 90 minutes this will the film you have been looking for as I give it 2 ½ stars.    

The Last Mercenary (On Demand) – JCVD does it again in this action/comedy where he plays an old school mercenary named Richard who after 25 years comes out of hiding because a local dunce of a Paris police officer has made a clerical error on purpose. He stops monthly payments to a guy named Archie who just happens to be Richard’s son but doesn’t know it and has lost immunity from everything that he didn’t know he had. See a gangster who has watched ‘Scarface’ way too many times as stolen his identity so he can stay in France and sell drugs and the Paris police and government are involved also. Once Richard is back, he must save his son and stop the government or one dude that is still upset Richard plowed his wife 25 years ago before they all die! A hilarious French action/comedy that I could not stop laughing from beginning to end as I give JCVD’s latest venture 3 stars.

Lost in Cleveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudzinski’s latest short film about Ben and Blake who are “business partners” that travel to Cleveland for a movie gig? Ben is the actor and Blake is the partner that wanted to come along but bored as his partner can be out for long hours or days at a time during these movie shoots. Blake meets Steve the filmmaker while lurking around sadly around the hotel. The two hit it off immediately and discuss how they are very similar in how they view their relationships right now and decide to spend lots of time together. This 19 minute short is brilliant and for Indy fans who have not seen any of Steve’s past work this would be a great introduction to Steve Rudzinski and BPO films project libraries as they are some of the best talent the Indy film world has to offer as I give this 4 out of 4 stars! This and more can be found at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #516

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Gross Movie Reviews #516

 

Island of Terror (DVD) – This mid-60s film has Peter Cushing as a doctor who takes an expedition crew to a remote island where a boneless body was found. Once there he and his crew must take on these blob-like creatures that suck bone out of humans and multiplying quickly. Cushing and crew must act quickly in finding a way to kill these odd creatures or they will take over the island. It seems very B-movieish for Peter Cushing if that is a thing? As I give the creature flick 2 stars.

 

Terminal Invasion (DVD) – The 2002 SyFy Channel or Sci-fi channel film that seems all to be lost (DVD has been out of print for years and I believe it played twice on SyFy then nothing since???) It stars Bruce Campbell as a death row prisoner named Jack who is being transported for some unknown reason by two officers through a snowstorm. The transport gets into an accident and forced to walk to the nearest shelter which happens to be a small charter plane service that is piloted by the smoking hot and talented actress Chase Masterson. Problem Jack and the officers encounter an alien in the restroom and when the alien dies it disappears and all is left is Jack and two dead officers. This of course spells disaster for our hero Jack but all that are waiting for the snow to let up because who is human and whose not? Yeah I know sounds a little like John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ but Sean Cunningham gets the best out of Campbell and Masterson in this little known but exciting feature about aliens in a small airport as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Space Ninjas (DVD) – Do not adjust your television as Dirk Benedict aka Jack Strange guides you through a low budget story of five students in detention. They become trapped by “Space Ninjas” as these interdimension beings appear inside the school and begin to slice all who make noise as they are blind. Stanlei the skater girl is the leader of the detention misfits and must try to keep her new friends together to survive the night of slicing and dicing. And if Stanlei is lucky they will solve the problem of killing the Space Ninjas. Think low budget, international, ‘Breakfast Club’… with cosplaying ninjas. A lot to swallow there folks but this international flick is truly entertaining and a bright spot in sometimes a bloated genre of wannabes as I give it 3 stars. Thank you to James Peter Cox for pointing out this 2019 gem exists.

Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary (DVD) – A small group of so-called internet influencers who just happen to be supernatural hunters are looking for credibility. So after a recent death of a student at a high school they take on the case and begin to investigate the supposedly “Bloody Mary” haunting in the school bathroom. The group believes they can solve the issue quickly but the spirit is vengeful and brutally slaughters one of the supernatural friends sending them and the investigation into chaos as they must really face the supernatural for real. Super bloody at times, there is a killer turd, cannibalism, a condom joke all point to the Brazilian film being influenced to Peter Jackson’s early work as they try for laughs throughout. Glad this flick was uncovered and passed on to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vampires vs. The Bronx (Netflix) – A teenager known as “Little Mayor” is having a block party for Tony’s Bodega or a place he has grown up and the rent has been raised to force the Bodega to close. See the Bronx is changing and not for the good according to most of the community but some are taking the money from the real estate company “Murnau” to buy up all the property. Only thing no one sees them leave the Bronx just more Murnau property signs. One night the Little Mayor happens to see a vamp biting into a gang banger and spends most of his time trying to convince his two best friends that vampires are here in the Bronx feeding on the residents for their property. Once Miguel gets them on board it is up to the three to fight the vamps or be arrested and in trouble with their parents. It felt like a good mix of ‘Attack the Block’ and ‘The Lost Boys’ with enough comedy to keep the story light but moving along quick. I can easily see this as a family Halloween horror flick that people check in on every year around this time as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Voodoo Woman (DVD) – The 1957 B-flick has an expedition trekking through the Amazon looking for gold and just so happen to stumble upon a lost tribe that protects gold as part of  their religion. But a doctor has already beaten them to the punch of being there and uses the tribe for his experiments into voodoo. Marilyn who leads the expedition is willing to kill even it’s her own party to have the gold but the doctor has other plans for her. The black and white film isn’t too exciting but is interesting to watch as it was rare to see films with such a strong female lead. Marilyn character not only can hold her own but becomes the monster the tribe feared to begin with as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Ghoul (DVD) – Boris Karloff in a non-Universal film is a dying professor/Egyptologist who has dedicated his life to his study of it and has arranged a certain way to be buried once dead. What is important is this jewel he has be buried in the tomb with him so he can hand it to the spirit of Anubis. But in death and burial his servant screws him over and steals the jewel setting in motion not only Karloff coming back to life and escaping the tomb looking for the jewel… But also several people there for the strange funeral are pointing the finger at each other of who has stolen the jewel. Karloff’s character will not rest until he is able to hand it off to Anubis! Not the best of Karloff’s work, but like any horror movie that has Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, or a Bruce Campbell I will watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

 

Scare Me (DVD) – So this week I learned there is two movies of the same name made in the same year. One is a Shudder exclusive the other is this feature I watched, a low budget Indy film from out west. Some young campers head out to a campsite to enjoy hanging with friends and tell ghost stories. They meet a nice forest ranger who helps them with tents and such. But as the night progresses the forest ranger becomes disgusted with the lack of good ghost stories as he awaits his turn to tell his story. There really weren’t any ghosts… There were stories of vampires, zombies, a killer babysitter, and S+M until of course forest ranger murders them all. The film isn’t bad but far from being any good as the characters seemed awkward at times and the flow of the anthology or playing with the rules of an anthology just seem to be something that has been covered one too many times. Again the film is not terrible but very forgettable as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Black Sleep (DVD) – All-star cast in this mid-50s horror film led by Basil Rathbone as a doctor that is looking into other means of furthering brain surgery. His methods are considered illegal but he claims he has made breakthroughs as he helps a fellow doctor out of prison before he hangs for a crime he did not commit. The good doctor has practice patients that he performs brain surgery on in hopes of discovering the cure for his wife’s brain tumor thanks to his gypsy friend. But the gypsy friend soon is being investigated by Scotland Yard as people are disappearing from London. A fun quick B-movie with an all-star cast that needs to be seen as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

We got two new episodes for yinz that you are gonna want to hear!

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This week Kyle and Tim return to talk about a new classic (to us) from that magical place of New Zealand in THE QUIET EARTH.  And a highly … or not so highly regarded sequel to an all-time jam in RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART 2.  Also we do the weekly rounds of answering your questions, reading the latest horror movie news, and we also got a list of top Bigfoot movies to round out the show.  So, download this show or the earth will die! 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week is a very special show for a variety of reasons.  First being that if you know Tim Gross you know he can talk about 2 things endlessly.  Puppet Master and Rutger Hauer flicks.  And we have both in CROSSWORLDS and the new remake…reboot…reimagining…what the fuck ever it is in PUPPET MASTER: THE LITTLEST REICH.  And Kyle shows up to cover BLACK SABBATH starring everyone’s grandpa Boris Karloff.  Also, we talk about Tim and our good buddy OUT OF PRINT DAN finally braving the rainy Indiana weather to come hang out with Kyle in his beloved hometown of Portland Indiana.  We also talk about our trip to Shelbyville Indiana to the Skyline Drive In to attend the Super Monster Movie Fest.  This is one jam packed show so enjoy. 

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #376

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Gross Movie Reviews #376

 

Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs (DVD) – Sometimes you wonder why these types of movies exist? Simply two things: One as long as I am alive I will find them and two I believe someone is stealing my dreams while I sleep or the government is uploading crap from my mind. Yes folks, call Mulder and Scully I think I am an X-file! Anyway, Eric Roberts shows up for a paycheck as a drunk local and Vernon Wells shows up as a badass as usual where he is trying to keep a mine going and escape dinosaurs in this small town. Local boy comes back home to small town Montana to find things have changed and not for the better. A mine explosion happens and dinosaurs are running loose eating the locals but Vernon wells and the local sheriff I trying to keep a lid on the multi-million dollar mining operation. Eventually local boy gets back on a horse and saves everyone but not before you will notice that if you are an old dude in this flick you have a hot girlfriend that is 20 years younger than your character… I give it 1 ½ stars, honestly it has Vernon Wells!

 

Yongary, Monster from the Deep (DVD) – Love Godzilla, enjoy random giant lizard movies, well you may enjoy bootleg Godzilla in this 1967 Korean B-movie? A mysterious earthquake happens and next thing you know a horned giant lizard starts fucking shit up. It’s the 60s and most likely this played constantly at the drive-in as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Orphan (VHS/DVD-R) – A weird and relatively unknown horror/thriller that was made in 1977. But what was weird and interesting was the film wasn’t released until late 1979 and was actually titled ‘Friday the 13th: The Orphan’? But some money changed hands and that was movie history as we all know the slasher genre was sent into overdrive! But the story revolves a young boy named David whose parents die so he must go live with his old Aunt Martha and oh by the way the film is set in the 1920s. David slowly goes nuts and begins praying to a stuffed Monkey in a shed and old Aunt Martha drives him into madness which gives the film a very dark ending. I give the film 2 stars.

Dark

Dark (Vimeo/DVD) – A new low budget flick from the writer and directors of such independent projects ‘Gut’ and ‘Phobia’ which I enjoyed immensely but also executive produced by Joe Dante so you got my attention. The film is set during a blackout in 2003 New York City where Whitney Able plays Kate aka bootleg version of Jennifer Jason Leigh which is always a good thing in my book. Kate is lost in life… She is not sure about her girlfriend, her life, and so on but then the blackout happens when her girlfriend goes out of town for the weekend. Kate is alone and decides to head to the bar to make some bad decisions. Soon she finds herself being followed and returns home only to darkness. This is where the story gets really weird because it raises the questions of did it happen, is she imagining it all, and did she even go to the bar? Her world unravels in this dramatic and beautiful world of weirdness I enjoyed. ‘Dark’ cannot be labeled a horror film as so much a thriller as you know you are getting something different from these guys involved with the project as they make projects that don’t fit into one genre. Think outside of the box in so many words as I give ‘Dark’ 3 out of 4 stars. Want to know about the film go check out: www.darkthefilm.com .

 

Future Hunters (VHS/YouTube) – Robert Patrick’s first flick from and 1986 and the Philippines where he (Slade) and his girlfriend are entrusted with the “Spear of Destiny” by a time traveling dude named Matthew. Matthew is from 2025 after the holocaust and believes this is the only way he can save his world and stop the holocaust from happening. So Matthew travels back in time to 1986 and meets Slade. But evil is coming and it’s in the form of Nazis and the Nazi version of Playboy Buddy Rose! The couple goes looking for Professor Hightower who is the key to helping them saving the world. But along the way they run into crazy kung fu people, amazon tribes on horseback, car chases, explosions, cave full of midgets, amazon women, and gators! After several ordeals Slade and his girlfriend make a deal with the sledgehammering midgets in the cave and find the rightful place for the “Spear of Destiny” and save the world. If it helps make this film any better it is from the same dude that gave us ‘Wheels of Fire’ as I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Sugar Hill (DVD) – A young lady named Sugar wants vengeance after her man is killed by gangsters who want his club. But she just isn’t down for any vengeance; she wants to get medieval on their gangster asses and recruits the likes of Baron Samedi or Baron Zombi if you are a yinzer like me. And Baron Samedi has zombies that are former slaves that died on their way to America. A fun 70s zombie flick you must add to your collection if you haven’t already as I give it 3 ½ stars.

The-Path-to-Pet-Sematary-Movie-Poster

 

Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary (DVD/Vimeo) – These days it seems a lot of documentaries are being made about horror films and such. Some deserve it? ‘Pet Sematary’ deserved it for sure for its impact on the horror genre. Honestly horror movie fans it was one of the better book to film adaptions of King’s. The Stephen King story that was brought to life by director Mary Lambert had a long journey and interesting one. The film came at the end of the “Slasher Era” and no studio wanted it to be made mainly because of the kid death in the story/script/movie. But with a strike looming at the time Mary Lambert and others took advantage of this and the rest was film history. The documentary takes a very in-depth look how it got from book to film but also how it’s one of King’s darkest books that scared him when he first wrote it. The filmmakers tracked down everyone that had anything to do with the film and they share stories of how the production got to Maine instead of California but what it meant to the small town Maine residents especially being a Stephen King movie. Plus the interview with all the cast members involved sharing their stories of on and off set makes this one the best and interesting horror documentaries of recent times. I believe it was crucial having Mako Hughes talk about his experience and what he actually remembers of the project to make this the perfect documentary for ‘Pet Sematary’ fans. The film did win “Best Documentary” at the Rhode Island International Horror Film Festival in 2014 which I know why and give it 4 out of 4 stars. For more info on the project and its upcoming release check out: Official Store: http://shop.terrorfilms.net/ , Official Trailer Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnP7swXKQXo, Official Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/UnearthedandUntold, Terror Films Website: www.terrorfilms.net .

 

Voodoo Island (DVD) – A great late 50s b-horror film starring Boris Karloff as a man who debunks: ghosts, demons, and present day myths. He leads an expedition to a tropical island where a millionaire wants to build his best vacation hotel yet. But surveyors that were sent there before disappeared and the lone survivor is in a zombie like trance. Once there weird stuff begins to happen like food going bad, boat doesn’t work, and plants just happen to eat people! Fun stuff and it looks like old Boris Karloff had a lot fun with this project as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.