Gross Movie Reviews #448

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Gross Movie Reviews #448

 

The Babysitter (DVD) – This teen horror film that is a wolf in sheep’s clothing lures you in thinking the film is just another teen horror but blossoms into a hilarious gore fest. Cole is a nerdy teenager that still has a babysitter. But the babysitter is a very hot young lady named Bee that just seems to get Cole. Cole and she have a lot in common and Cole is starting to grow up and see Bee in a different light. Cole convinced by the girl across the street to stay up to see if Bee parties or make out with her boyfriend after Cole goes to sleep during babysitting nights. Cole does… And what Cole witnesses is nothing he was prepared for as Bee invites friends for a game of spin-the-bottle which turns into a blood-soaked sacrifice! Cole now must go all “Home Alone” in order to survive Bee and her friends now he knows the truth. The horror flick is a fun reminder yes it takes lots of blood and guts to entertain but also just a simple hilarious storyline could make the horror film worth the watch. I really enjoyed this fun horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Demon Murder Case (YouTube) – A 1983 TV movie that claims to be based on the ‘Warrens’ but using different names and stars Kevin Bacon. Kevin’s character Kenny and his girlfriend go to check out a house and his girlfriend’s younger brother claims seeing a burned up 4 foot man at the house. As the days pass the younger brother changes, seems different. When things get out of control and the police get involved, priests are called in and even paranormal experts. The kid claims this demon called “The Beast” has taken him over? Kenny cares for the kid so much he challenges the demon and the demon takes the challenge on and possesses Kenny. A death is involved and most of the story is told from flashbacks as Kenny stands trial for murder a year after events. A cool lost TV horror flick that I believe has not been released on DVD and possibly ever on VHS as I cannot find it. But you can find it on YouTube as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

This House Possessed (YouTube) – Again here is another rare TV movie find from my childhood. The film was released in 1981 on NBC starring Parker Stevenson, Lisa Eilbacher, and pay attention ‘Elm St.’ fans Amanda Wyss. Gary is a hard working singer who doesn’t take much down time collapses at a concert. He is rushed to the hospital and told he needs to take a break from the business as drugs or heavy drinking is ruled out. Sheila is a nurse that Gary hits it off with and trusts and hires her to take care of him while he goes on an extended vacation. They head out driving in the middle of nowhere and find a very cool house by itself. The house was a hi-tech house built before they were popular but hasn’t been really lived in since a fire several years ago. Once bought and settled in, Sheila and Gary start to become more of a couple the home seem to have a mind of its own and begins to spy on them. Strange things and eventually deaths happen surrounding the house. You get a water hose spraying down a young couple on the lawn, the house crushing a woman in her car with the front gates, and even boiling another woman in the pool. The TV movie feels so 70s but was released in 1981 and to my knowledge has not been released on any format. So as I give this film 3 stars take a gander at YouTube and search for this horror gem.

Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (DVD) – Bubba is a redneck through and through and doesn’t stand up for himself much as his high school girlfriend (Bobbi Jo) is now seeing someone else. Bubba depressed decides to make a deal with a demon to help this status and he is turned into a werewolf for his soul. While Bubba is learning of his new appearance, strength, actually having sex with Bobbi Jo, and hunger for chicken wings at the bar, the demon is going around the small town and finding gullible folks. The demon makes deals for their souls that go bad quickly. Now the small town looks to Bubba the Redneck Werewolf to do something about it? And Bubba does what any self-respecting person does and that is challenge the demon to a game of quarters! I absolutely loved this film and totally believe if the great horror film “Wolfcop” exists more horror fans would have found this 2014 flick and been talking about it. This is much lower budgeted film than “Wolfcop” but is very witty take on the werewolf concept and think horror and werewolf fans need to give this film a chance as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Burning Dead (DVD) – Okay somehow Danny Trejo is a Native American who tells a story of the ‘Donner Party’ in 1846 is part of some kind of volcanic zombies? Now in present day the volcano has erupted again it is bringing the zombies back with its exploding green rocks. Confused… Bored? Just pass on this one folks as this is why I exist to watch crap like this as I give it 1 star for just Danny Trejo showing up.

 

Last Ones Out (Shudder) – In 2015, an unknown virus hits rural parts of South Africa and it is beginning to spread. An American is there with his fiancée but has an appendix problem. While awaiting surgery in the hospital the virus hits and he wakes to find no one is left except a nurse. Now, the American, the nurse, a doctor and his brother make their way across the country side hopefully to find help? The American claims there is a convoy at a location that leaves in the morning as it can take them out of the quarantine zone. This isn’t a zombie flick as much as a rage virus flick aka “28 Days Later”. If you were a fan of the flick “The Dead” that was released a few years back this will be in your wheelhouse as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sheborg Massacre (DVD) – An Australian film that is a big old mix of several genres about a cyborg alien that escapes its captors to crash land on earth near a puppy farm. This cyborg alien uses the puppy farm for food and begins its evil plan of turning people into machines. Meanwhile two hot young ladies are causing havoc around town and get together with a punk rock singer to go release the puppies from their prison. Unbeknownst to them once at the puppy farm they must fight these cyborgs in order to escape. Once back home they must make the decision to go to war with these cyborgs and the alien in order to not only survive, save their little town, but the world. This movie is a glorious bloody mess and the women that played the roles of Dylan and Eddie were absolutely fucking awesome! If you enjoy “Dead Alive”, “Evil Aliens”, “Bad Taste” this 3 ½ star horror film is right up your alley.

 

Fear Town, USA (DVD) – It is St. Blevins Day, the day of big celebrations. The day to celebrate St. Blevin who led all the polish children out of the village to the ocean and their death! So there is a big party that everyone is trying to get into. Four nerdy Dungeons and Dragons bros are going, some others are just camping out next to it, supposedly there is an escaped mental patient, and there is a ghost sorority girl. Mash this all together with dudes and women talking about getting their pussies crushed every thirty seconds and you have this hilarious slasher film. But the best part of the film might be the four nerdy bros who find the wrong party and become a part of a sacrifice that doesn’t work so the Satan worshippers decide to start a bowling league! Fun random stuff my friends and has been released by Troma so go support as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Silent Madness (DVD) – A lesser known 1984 slasher film also known as “Beautiful Screamers”, “The Omega Factor”, and “The Nightkillers”, is about a patient that is mistakenly released from the Cresthaven Hospital. The patient Howard Johns is a man with a murderous past and heads to a small woman’s college to continue his killing spree. A doctor from the hospital heads to the college to investigate this clerical error. She goes uncover for the local paper so she can find out more at the college but stumbles upon what may have sparked everything 17 years ago. Not the best of the slasher films but if you are a completest you will want this on your list as I give it 2 stars. At this time I believe there is only a Region 2 DVD of this title.

 

Summer of 84 (DVD) – It is Freeport, Oregon, June 1984 and a serial killer is loose in suburbia. Four friends get together and decide to stalk the neighborhood cop they believe is the serial killer. But they do not have evidence so they come up with a plan to get some. The friends keep come up with dead ends until finally they get the bright idea to break in his house and video tape their findings. Problem is they find way more than they wanted too and now the cop is on the run or so they think as he wants revenge. The film has that “Stand by Me” vibe so I was in from the beginning and enjoyed the kids trying to solve who the killer. But I believe the coolest thing of this movie was the feel of 1984. The shoes, the bikes, the background cars and houses, they got everything right to help set up this story. Yeah the movie isn’t exactly horror and runs a few minutes long but don’t let that stop you from seeing a very entertaining flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Mom and Dad (DVD) – This bat shit crazy film stars Nic Cage and Selma Blair as normal parents just trying to make it through parenthood. But a strange unexplained virus is hitting parents worldwide where they have the urge to kill their own children. And parents are just doing plain boring murders they are trying to do some brutal ass damage. Once the virus hits Nic Cage and Selma Blair’s characters it is freaking hilarious as they chase their kids all over the house and try to gas them out of the basement. When you thought it could not get any better we get a great scene about life sucking with kids and people not understanding. But the ultimate topper is when the grandparents show up for the forgotten dinner and the grandpa is mother fucking the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and he starts stabbing the shit out of Nic Cage. Horror fans check the brains at the door and just enjoy this this amazing piece of film of complete chaos and how beautiful it is as I give it 4 stars.

 

Party Bus to Hell (DVD) – Bus full party goers are on their way to ‘The Burning Man Festival’. The bus driver stops in the middle of the desert night after running down a terrified Tara Reid and leaves the people to fend for themselves. She has left them for a group of Marauders/Satanists/Mad Max extras? Take your pick folks. Anyway this group of bloodlust freaks keep chanting “Release the Chosen One” as they attack the party goers and try to murder and eat them. The party goers figure out the virgin among them and force her to have sex with someone to stop the bloodlust freaks belief from coming true. This film has a good set up but just never seems to hit all the right notes and seems disjointed as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Seventh Moon (DVD) – Amy Smart and her man have gone to China for their honeymoon and to meet his parents. But according to Chinese myth the full moon on the seventh lunar month some weird shit goes down in the countryside where old myths die hard. Well the couples are lost in the countryside thanks to their driver who abandons them. Apparently we come to find out later in the film that this dude believes in the myth of the pale demons coming to murder and he needed a sacrifice and they were it. The couple must face of with the pale demons and survive the night. Sounds like a good concept but I have seen some better foreign horror films and this just had long boring lulls throughout that makes it tough to sit through. Want weird? Look for a film called “The Johnsons” as I give this film 1 star.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and for upcoming guests.

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Gross Movie Reviews #446

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Gross Movie Reviews #446

 

A Quiet Place (DVD) – So this cool and different monster flick kinda pooped out there into the cinemas earlier this year and surprised horror fans. The movie begins on Day 89 in a post-apocalyptic world where some monsters have pretty much taken over the world and laid waste to humans. They are attracted to sound and will find you if you make a sound. The story centers on a family that uses sign language to communicate with each other and wear no shoes. On their way back from looking for food their son is playing with a toy that makes sound and the monster comes and snatches him up. We fast forward 400 days and the family is still living in silence and still have hope that they can find a weakness to hurt these flesh-eating monsters. They find the answer by accident when the daughter’s hearing aid makes static sound. I give the filmmakers props for a different concept and a cool looking monster. It was so cool to see a different kind of monster flick and for that I give 3 stars.

House Shark (DVD) – So in the village of Liverpool, Frank the cop lives with his son and is a divorcee. Frank is about to go out on his first date in a very long time. So Frank leaves his son with Betsy the babysitter. But apparently a period fart lures a shark to come up the commode and eat Betsy ass first. Frank and son shocked move out of the house and live in the backyard in a tent. Besides no one believes Frank’s story of a shark in the house he refuses to live inside. The bank is about to foreclose and the real estate company is pissed they cannot sell it because of Frank. So they get Frank away from the house long enough for people to come by to see if they want to buy it? They do but are eaten by the ‘House Shark’ but not before another witness sees it happen and we get the great line, “John stop! I don’t want anybody to see your fingers up my butt!” Frank finds a “House Shark” expert in Zachary Taylor and the real estate company sends in Abraham Lincoln… kind of to help take care of this shark issue. The independent horror film is filled with tons of jokes that keep the movie moving right along including the hilarious shark costume. I really enjoyed this shark as I couldn’t stop laughing but again people it should be pushing two hours long. But kudos to you Ron Bonk for making a legit cool Indy shark flick as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Land Shark (DVD) – The latest from Mark Polonia and crew that stars Sarah French whose character works for the Malco Research Corp. Of course they have been experimenting with sharks but little does Ms. French’s character knows they are secretly trying to make the sharks into weapons. She finds this out after some sharks have crawled out of the tank on land and have killed some people. Malco believes the project is going in the right direction until the sharks are out of control. All this film was missing was Joe Estevez and “Roller Gator” as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

The Meg (Theater) – So Jason Statham showed up in this cornball shark movie that is nothing more than a much higher budgeted ‘SyFy Channel Shark Week’ flick. Statham is Jonas who is only one of a few people who have gone 10000 feet for a rescue. Five years ago he had to leave two buddies behind saving a crew of a sub that was under attack by something. No one believed him it was a large shark. Present time off the coast of China a crew has been attacked and disabled on the bottom of the ocean and Jonas is called in for the rescue. They are saved but the very large shark has followed them and now is feeding on all in the ocean. Like I said, “cornball movie”. If you are not expecting much you will be entertained but otherwise wait for the “Sharknado” sequel as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

Revenge (DVD) – A French horror flick that deals with a young woman who is with her much older married boyfriend for a weekend. Then his two hunting buddies show up. They cannot control themselves and they get very touchy. The boyfriend tries to smooth over the event with a check but she runs out of the house and the men run after her. Once the heated exchange settles and supposedly a helicopter is coming to pick her up she is pushed off a cliff to her death. The men figure to clean her up while they come back through hunting. But she is able to burn the tree she was impaled on and escape. Now injured but very pissed she seeks revenge against the three men. A wild and gory time but the film has been done many times before but I did enjoy the gory ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Horrors in the Witch’s House (DVD) – Alex Wesley and his gore hound friends are at it again with his latest short film about a man named Azulyat who was just released from prison. Azulyat has a debt to pay but has a plan. His plan is go to his aunt’s house, kill her, and sell the house off to pay the debt. But once there Azulyat decides to do some heroin and finds his aunt was into some demonic shit and hid it in the attic. Not thinking he has messed with some dark magic and now it has come back to haunt him and make him suffer. As usual these guys bring the gore and guts in bucket loads and do not disappoint with their latest effort as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Legacy of Blood (DVD) – This weird 1971 horror flick has John Carradine dying at the beginning of the film and is going to leave his inheritance to his family and staff. But there is a catch they must spend the night in his home that is considered evil by the family. There are flashbacks of abuse, possible incest, and just plain weird shit going down. The interesting part is if someone leaves or doesn’t survive the night their share is split up among those that are left. Kind of an oddity of a horror flick as it doesn’t exactly fit a genre of horror flick but well worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Brutal Massacre (DVD) – David Naughton is Harry Penderecki, a famous low budget horror filmmaker whose last few films haven’t made a dime. Harry is shopping around a new project that he believes could get him back on the right track. He is mostly known for the films: Sasquatch in the Mall, People Pesticide, Bowel Movements, but believes this flick will be different? Hollywood gives him one last chance and not much of a budget to pull off his last project. Meanwhile a documentarian named Bert follows around Harry to see the process of the film from pre-production to finished product. Everything you can think of goes wrong with the troubled production but because of the non-ending it becomes the elusive masterpiece he has lived for. Great roles filled by Gunnar Hansen and Ken Foree in this absolutely hilarious film and possibly David’s best since “The Sleeping Car”. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Lion (Vimeo) – The latest short film from Davide Melini that deals with child abuse. An abused child is in bed trying to sleep and wishes to his stuffed lion to not be hit anymore. Once his stuffed lion hits the floor his wish comes true when his father is watching a program with lions on it. A great way to get a message out about child abuse as the short film deserves 4 out of 4 stars. Well done Davide, well done sir.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #445

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Gross Movie Reviews #445

 

Blood Slaughter Massacre (DVD) – Some murders happen at a small party in Havenwood. The killer was never found and was nicknamed “The Ripper” but many in the community buried any news about the horrible event. Ten years go by with no clues or any murders and then “The Ripper” strikes again. The detective who was young and just started on the police force when the killings first took place is determined to find the killer no matter what. The film has an okay slasher concept and runs with it but the biggest problem is the camerawork sucks and the running time is two hours long. You find someone that knows what a tripod is or understand there are cameras with downloadable apps for steady-cams and understand 40 minutes of this flick could be edited without even thinking then we are talking a much better horror film. Saying that it is worth a watch if you are weird like me but take it with a grain of salt as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship, and Videotape (DVD) – This documentary that was released in 2014 gives you a crash course in what was the “Video Nasties” and what started it in the UK. About 70 horror movies being released in the early 80s sent certain groups of crazy people into frenzy to ban certain horror movies because of their level of violence. It took years for people to reverse this trend in the UK as horror movies were delayed in being released to video or just never seen at all. The documentary dives into people being up for fines or imprisonment for just owning an uncut version of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “The Evil Dead”. This led to a whole new ratings system that just upset everyone anyhow. A very interesting look into what most horror fans over the age of 30 only heard about. I give it 4 stars.

 

Video Nasties: Draconian Days (DVD) – This was part two of the 2014 documentary that dives deeper into the “Video Nasties” but how the censorship went way beyond that. Hell I thought the U.S. had it bad with the MPAA? Over in the UK it was to the point certain normal cartoons were being censored or pulled because one dude was like “Yep that is going to corrupt kids, cut it or pull it completely”. It was some crazy shit going down. It was no longer horror movies into the 90s as it expanded to all genres of film. The BBFC basically help start the black market for uncut horror films in the 90s… Interesting stuff folks as they even talk about the horror conventions in the 90s were there but you had to have the special invite to get the good stuff or uncut flicks. Once again I give it 4 stars.

 

Lady Terminator (DVD) – Oh just your typical crazy foreign flick about a woman anthropologist who goes out to sea to investigate the disappearance of an evil queen from centuries ago. She disappears only to be captured and have her tent hole to be entered by a CGI snake that possesses her with an evil queen from the past that fucks dudes to death. Yes kind folks that is pretty much the plot of this fucking gonzo flick. Once bored with dudes on the beach she heads to the mall, a dance club, and even gets in a car chase with a police officer which isn’t fully explained. But hey who cares as she is banging dudes to their deaths! One of those movies you will think I made up but have to watch just to make sure as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dangerous Seductress (DVD) – Six years later there is a sequel of sorts to “Lady Terminator”. The Evil Queen returns when a nutzoid car chase goes down and ends in a horrific crash that leaves gore everywhere. This blood jump starts The Evil Queen to partial life but when a stupid American girl named Suzie reads some ancient text for no apparent reason this bring The Evil Queen to her. Now, Suzie becomes possessed and given the powers of darkness which include banging hot dudes to death! Will this sexed up killing spree ever end? Maybe… but still not as entertaining as “Lady Terminator” so I got to give it 2 stars.

Urban Cannibal Massacre (DVD) – A 2013 independent flick from ‘Ghetto Hollywood Pictures’ that was just pooped out there in existence without anybody telling me about its greatness! The film takes place in Akron, Ohio where the Jones family is a well-respected family of a small community. The secret of the family is they feed on the homeless and only like the white meat. The Jones family does not believe in eating their own kind. The only problem this prospering family has is the youngest daughter is a vegan and thinks it’s absurd the family carries on the tradition of killing poor white people and feasting on them. No one in the community suspects anything weird with the Jones family especially with having friends that know about their business for a certain price. But this family is about to be outed when some college friends come to town looking for a missing friend and they find clues that lead them to the Jones family. These college kids get more than what they bargain for when they mess with the Jones family especially when the young daughter Kendal is in love with one of them. Hilarious storyline and an amazing amount of awesome gore make this wonderful movie a treat for gorehounds as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Scratch (DVD) – German killer rat movie sounds awesome at first but what starts off great falls apart in the second half of the film when they go away from the storyline… Which is killer rats fucking rule people. I was disappointed as I give this mutant rat flick 1 star.

 

Evil Bong 777 (DVD) – I thought I swore off watching this series but who am I kidding as this is a Full Moon feature. No matter how much I believe this series makes Charles Band look like he has no passion for filmmaking anymore and it just insults the original Full Moon fans, you know I had to watch it. Eebee and friends are back from ‘Sexy Hell’ (don’t ask that would require me caring to watch Evil Bong 666 sooner than later). Of course first thing back you gotta go to Vegas to see a puppet sex show.  Then after that the friends head to a cheap haunted hotel to relax. But that doesn’t last long when Evil Lucy cuts of the head of Satan in Sexy Hell so she can return and get her revenge. And by the way the story will continue in part eight whether you want it to or not. But the main reasons for watching this film is pretty much Sonny Carl Davis but also Robin Sydney who I consider a wonderful actress. Robin with her work has probably become 1C in actresses for me as I declared Tiffany Shepis and Debbie Rochon 1A and 1B several years ago. I give the film 1 star for the mere reason it wasn’t a 60 minute Full Moon ad!

 

Dr. Alien (DVD) – Here is a weirdo bottom of the barrel sex comedy from David DeCoteau in 1989 that stars Billy Jayne (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose fame) as a college freshman who has trouble with the woman. Well lucky Billy Jayne’s character (Wesley) his Biology teacher is killed searching for an U.F.O. and a hot young lady shows up to be the new biology teacher. Oh yeah she is from outer space and convinces Wesley to allow her to experiment on him with a new vitamin that makes a thing come out of his head and girls want to bang him. Wesley all about the extra credit believes it works but the girl he is after is just a girl that likes him for being him. In the end we come to find out that the hot biology teacher is from a planet that is dying and they have trouble breeding and needed to test her experiment on Earth! Hilarious crap I cannot make up as I give it 3 stars.

Mutant War (DVD) – Another diamond in the rough I found while searching all the movie channels as Brett Piper writes and directs this 1988 post-apocalyptic sequel. Harry Trent is wandering the wastelands five years after “Galaxy Destroyer” and stumbles upon a young woman who needs help from a mutant. He helps and she enlists Trent to break out her so-called sisters who are held captive in a compound by a shitload of these mutants. But it isn’t as easy as it looks because the mutants obey a crazy old human who has intentions of taking over the world! Fun low budget stuff from Mr. Piper that I feel like deserves some kind of box set edition for more fans like me to see more often as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Munsters Go Home! (DVD) – This is one of test movies to know if your favorite horror fan is legit. The show was fun but the movies are hilarious and this 1966 classic set it all up for future laughs. Herman Munster has just inherited a lordship and properties in England. So Herman and the family pack up at 1313 Mockingbird Lane and head to Munster Hall to see what it is all about. But there is some of the Munster family in England that doesn’t believe Herman deserves any of it so they spend their time trying to scare him. When that doesn’t work they come up with a plan to kill him in the yearly car race that is between several families that live around Munster Hall. If you don’t find this movie funny seriously there is something wrong with you and you might have to start questioning your life choices? I give it 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #444

0

Gross Movie Reviews #444

 

He Knows You’re Alone (DVD) – Here is a little lost slasher from 1980 that has an early appearance from Tom Hanks and just recently got the DVD/Blu-ray treatment. A young lady’s parents go out of town for the week and she is in the process of getting married. She might be having second thoughts now her fiancée has taken the scouts camping and the ex is shooting hard for her. But unbeknownst to her there is a serial killer on the loose who is killing women who are about to be married. Never mind how he knows, he is a movie serial killer of course he knows. But he stalks her throughout the film and kills all around her. For me it was a first time watch and definitely good enough to revisit again someday as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ninja Demon Massacre (VHS/DVD-R) – Now, you most likely believe I made this up? It is real folks I assure you that. In 1988, ninjas must be hurting for business as in Hong Kong they start selling foreign secrets. So of course some dubbed U.S. actors/authorities get involved and send in a secret agent or two to stop this from happening. There is no demon which was kind of disappointing and not much ninja action. But it did have ‘massacre’ in the title so of course I sat down to watch it… once… I give it maybe 1 star, maybe 2 stars for stealing the music from the Gene Simmons flick “Runaway”.

She Was So Pretty (DVD) – Alfred or Alfie as he is known in the film is out looking for the perfect woman/victim. He finds it in a woman named Valerie who tells friends she hasn’t felt like herself for about year now. It’s like someone is watching her which of course Alfie is. But in Alfie’s spare time he brutalizes other women. When Valerie heads to the woods with some friends for some vacation time Alfie takes this time to kidnap her and take Valerie home to watch some “Casper”. The weirdness only adds to the suspense and sleaze of the flick as Alfie doesn’t have a whole lot to say, he just does things. When the local park ranger/cop is called in and does his so-called investigation he finds Alfie and in a strange plot twist joins in on the brutal fun. I like the weirdness of this serial killer flick as it stands out from most but the only downfall to me at least was the film doesn’t exactly have an ending. Whether you like or not it is something you don’t see very often in independent film so you get kudos for that. But good news horror kids there is a sequel in the works as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.shewassopretty.com .

 

You’re So Cool, Brewster! The Story of Fright Night (DVD) – This is literally the most in-depth documentary you could watch on the making of this fun classic horror film. The documentary covers nearly 2 ½ hours of your time watching as it dips into everything and anything you could want to know about the famous 1985 vampire flick. The only issue I had with the documentary was the running time and it spending about 60 seconds on the sequel and nothing said about the rumored third film that was being pitched around Hollywood in 1990? But it got everything it could into this flick and most fans will be happy with it. So kick up your feet and enjoy inside story of “Fright Night” as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Massacre at Rocky Ridge (DVD) – A real dumpster fire of a no-budget film that has CITs (Counselors in Training) taken out in the woods for the yearly training. Mainly because they couldn’t afford a movie set with cabins so it is just tents. Once there some boring dialogue takes place, the gratuitous girl on girl scene, and people dying at the hands of a masked killer in a robe. This one is so bad or I just made up another “massacre” movie that it doesn’t have an IMDB page but can be bought for $29.95 on a website if you search hard enough. For that I give it a ½ star.

 

Meathook Massacre (DVD) – A woman and her two friends set out on a trip to a concert in Nebraska. But first she has to watch entire rock video just like “Killer Party” but nowhere near as good! Car runs out of gas on a lonely dirt road and one of them gets out going to look for help. She comes across a small weird farmhouse where a masked killer lives and likes to chase his victims with a meathook. For a sixty minute movie there was way too much talking and not enough killing as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Meathook Massacre 2 (DVD) – Ten years have gone by since that faithful day of those horrific events. But the meathook murders have popped up again in the news and a man whose twin sister was a victim of Bubba is hell-bent on finding this sadistic killer. Not many meathooks in this flick but with a few more dollars in the budget compared to the first flick the filmmaker decided to do a no-budget jam of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3. There was a little more killing going on this flick so I give it 1 ½ out 4 stars.

 

The Quiet Earth (DVD) – A 1985 sci-fi flick from New Zealand where a world one morning basically stopped and there was possibly only one survivor. The first thing you see besides the sun rising is a dude named Zac and his hairy dong getting out of bed. As he drives into work he notices something weird, everyone is gone. For whatever reason all the people are all gone. Once Zac is done losing his mind for several days he gets his shit together and goes on the road to find someone, anyone. Along the way he finds a woman and another man. Over dinner they discuss what actually happen and they figure out “The Effect” kept them on earth for some reason. But after more discussion they figure out they all died at the exact moment when “The Effect” happened. “The Effect” as we learn could have been produced by an experiment from Zac’s company that was helped by the government. Soon Zac figures out the sun is soon to collapse and then there is no earth so they come up with a plan to blow up Zac’s company to shutdown “The Effect”. The ending is real weird as you are not totally sure what happened or what didn’t but glad I watched this post-apocalyptic flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Blood Massacre (DVD) – A Don Dohler flick that was actually made in 1987 but never released until 1991 under some shady dealings that did make Don Dohler happy at all. Great stuff to read up on before watching the flick. Four thugs go rob a video store only to shoot a clerk there while getting away with the money. On the run their car breaks down and forces them to find other transportation. A woman named Elizabeth Parker picks them up and now hostage takes them to her family farm where the four thugs are going to rob them blind and eat before moving on. Soon the armed thugs are surprised that his family isn’t your typical family as they like flesh and slaughtering humans. A little icing on the cake is near the end of the film one of the thugs Rizzo gets away and prepares the woods like Rambo to fuck the family up only to find out they are not just cannibals… Love it, fun stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

Burlesque Massacre (DVD) – A wanna be porn film that is a poor excuse for a horror film. The flick centers on a killer brother and sister combo that believe “incest is best”. The sister brings her burlesque troop to her brother’s house for a vacation weekend but instead they get killed after showing lots of tits and ass. There is more sex than killing and probably should have just sold out and became full blown porn just for entertainment sake. But whatever again it had “massacre” in the title and I give it 0 stars because I had to watch it.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #443

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Gross Movie Reviews #443

 

The Tripods (VHS) – This made-for-TV flick was a BBC production made in the year 1984 and some would say even has some kind the film has some kind of cult status? But anyway this 2 ½ hour film is set in July 2089 outside of London where mankind has been long invaded by alien machines. People have accepted this and live in peace and actually worship the machines and have somewhat gone back to the old days of living before technology. But there are a few people or vagrants that have refused the “capped” process and live scattered among the mountains to evade capture by the alien machines. Since the machines have arrived, war has been non-existent, and the people willingly give their children at the age of 16 to the machines to be “capped”. The machines take them in and basically tattoo their skulls or doing god only knows to their brains. So two teenagers meet this vagrant and decide they don’t want to be “capped” or questioning authority and runaway to the mountains to escape believing there is more to life than these alien machines. The project is very British so for me a little bit was lost in translation but is an interesting project and worth the watch if you love sci-fi flicks as I give it 2 stars. Random fact the TV movie premiered here in the U.S. in the mid-80s on PBS.

Nightfall (VHS) – A 1999 independent vampire flick that had distribution through Troma that was set in Seattle, Washington. A F.B.I. agent named Jack Talbot is investigating a string of murders that have the victims bloodless and marks on their necks and believing there is a serial killer in the city. But Talbot’s partner is killed during the investigation and he begins to believe this vampire theory to the point he chases the vampire to a different city. Talbot teams up with a couple of local detectives who are already on the case of similar victims to try to kill this vampire. I can understand why Troma picked up this flick: nice amount of blood, the acting isn’t terrible, and the story is pretty solid. I give it 2 stars.

Jack Be Nimble (VHS) – This is a story of two kids, Jack and Dora who live in New Zealand and were given up for adoption but separated for the adoption. Jack went to a weird, backwoods; abusive family and Dora went to a nice couple and grew up without issues until high school. Now teenagers they both are having issues and try to explore this possible psychic link in finding each other? Dora gets picked on because of this obsession so she kicks some major ass at school and begins her search for Jack. Where Jack gets down right crazy and dark and hypnotizes his family to kill his parents to escape into the countryside looking for Dora. A really weird and violent flick from the country down under but it makes for an enjoyable watch. Plus you get to see Alexis Arquette in an early role as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Legend (On Demand) – Tyler and his soon to be wife head out to the remote woods to spend time together and so Tyler can propose to his girl. But it is interrupted by a very large hairy creature that drags her away and leaves him a mess as she disappeared. Twelve months go by and we see Tyler leaving an asylum where he was placed as many thought he was crazy and try to get him to understand it was most likely a grizzly bear attack. Once out and some advice from his mother he heads to the woods armed to the teeth wanting answers. While there he is attacked by this large thing again but it goes away and Tyler meets a new friend who tells him a story or two and talks about a private company owns the woods. This private company knows about the thing in the woods and he has also been looking for it but only has heard sounds and stories until today. Eventually Tyler has a bloody battle with thing/bigfoot/creature and survives. The film ends with having a conversation with Lance Henriksen setting up an “Avengers vs. Bigfoot” sequel or at least I hope that is what it’s for?  Also look for cameos by Amanda Wyss playing Tyler’s therapist and Adrienne Barbeau playing Tyler’s mother as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Domestics (On Demand) – The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government may have hit the reset button by dropping black poison on all its citizens one random day. Those who were immune or survived are faced with fighting for their lives day in and out if you are anywhere near the major highways or roads. These are the areas where different gangs of “Sheets, Gamblers, cannibals, etc.” settle at looking for fresh humans for whatever means they need. We are introduced to a lovely couple who were in the process of a divorce right before all this shit went down and just trying to survive like everyone else. The wife has lost contact with her family and wants to travel to Milwaukee to see them. So the husband packs up the AMC Eagle and get on the road out in the Midwest to drive to their destination and satisfy the wife. I really enjoyed this possible reality or outcome of America because I could easily see this happening and that is some cool shit! For that I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Beyond the 7th Door (DVD) – A Canadian film from 1987 that centers on a man named Boris who just got out of jail and is meeting his ex for a drink. After some bickering about who should have done what before he went to jail suddenly come up with an idea that involves Wendy’s boss and his house. Wendy’s boss is Lord Breston who pays well but supposedly keeps a bunch of cash on hand. So the two come up with a plan of Wendy sneaking Boris in once her shift starts and getting out Boris out when she is done. Once in both are trapped inside by a heavy steel door and they must go forward. A recording of Lord Breston comes over a speaker explaining in order to get out they must move forward for the money or die trying. So it becomes a series of rooms that Boris and Wendy must solve until they get to the end where a million dollars sits. The film is overall really weird and how Wendy and Boris ever got together is a story I would like explained. But the kicker of the film is the ending once they have made it through. Like or hate it you will have to admit this is one of the more interesting films that you will have in your collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Medusa Against The Son of Hercules (DVD) – One of the many Italian ‘Hercules’ films that came out in the late 50s and early 60s where this one has no Hercules but it has monsters! A warrior named Perseus fights a sea dragon and Medusa to try and stop a war. But Perseus is double crossed and war breaks out anyway. So by killing Medusa he is able to have warriors return from stone and help. A fun introduction for kids who want to watch some fantasy genre films or just a nice appetizer for the early 80’s cult flick “Clash of the Titans”. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Raven (YouTube) – Todd Ernest Braley shows off his filmmaking and casting talents with this short film adaption of the Edgar Allan Poe story. The black and white short film has narration throughout telling the story as two wonderful actresses act it out. Poe fans will love this short film so be sure to hit up Todd at: https://www.facebook.com/colofilmmaker as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

The Bucks County Massacre (DVD) – This is an independent found footage flick released through Brain Damage Films. The event in question takes place in 2008 with the film/documentary being released in 2010. Basically a group of friends head to a remote cabin for a 25th birthday party. Of course someone is filming everything going on there. While the footage unfolds there are interviews with family members of the deceased from the videos. All of them of course trying to get past the hard times but also still trying to understand how this could happen?  Especially with police trying to stop the leak of the footage out there on the internet but anyway once the party is starting to die down a girl goes missing. Her boyfriend goes looking, people get angered, poor judgment because of the drinking, and presto they are all being attacked by some human-like creature. From there it is all blood and chaos. The film is not bad at all just for me takes entirely way too much time building up the party and every character in the party even before the girl goes missing so I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Tagus Ranch Massacre (DVD) – A group of friends heading out to a deserted restaurant on a bus breakdown but after some repairs finally get to their destination. Mostly tired and miserable the group of friends wants to just sleep after getting there but a friend falls down and may have had a seizure? Nope, just a demon spirit possessing his ass! Of course the group slowly disappears or becomes possessed by these demon spirits that haunt the former restaurant. The demons don’t just possess them they also want to kill in very gruesome ways. Think of “Night of the Demons” on a much smaller budget and I can respect that. Not a big fan of the ending but sure it felt right when the project was finished leaving it open as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #442

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Gross Movie Reviews #442

 

Rampage (On Demand) – Dwayne ‘The Rock” Johnson stars in the video game adaption film that most people have forgotten that it was a video game from the late 80s. A government experiment goes wrong in space and causes a scientist to try to escape with canisters from their experiment but the escape pod blows up on reentry sending the canisters around Earth. When they open it causes mutations in an ape, a gator, and a wolf that terrorize everybody just to get to Chicago because they are being drawn there by a beacon that is now in their DNA. The Rock is an ape specialist that has been teaching George sign language and other things. So once the ape mutates The Rock struggles to explain to people George is a good ape, it’s the experimental stuff that is causing him to grow and go crazy. The CGI isn’t the best but people we got three giant monsters terrorizing a city and eating people so count me in every time as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cargo (On Demand) – So I was told I needed to see this Netflix zombie flick? So I sat down and watched this Australian zombie flick that centers around at first a married couple with a small child that is on a boat floating down a river to avoid zombie attacks. Unsure what their next move is as they are running out of food. They find boat wreckage and the wife gets bit when she goes back to the boat to investigate. So they make their way to land as she has only has 48 hours before changing. They are trying to get to find help for their child which during this the father also gets bitten and it becomes a journey across the outback to find a family to take care of the child. Like the zombie film “The Dead” that came out a few years back it is a different idea but goes through some quite boring periods. If you are a zombie aficionado you will still want to see this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

War for The Planet of the Apes (DVD) – 15 years after the flu began killing humans and the apes escaped to the woods it all led to this where Caesar is seen as a ghost. He has been on the move trying to help other apes and find a safe home where they no longer have to deal with the humans. Military has been looking for him for the past two years with no luck as the film picks up after the events of the last film. But as we come to find out this military army has gone rogue as the leader lost his son to looking for Caesar and the flu has mutated. It causes humans to lose speech. I enjoyed the story of this sequel as it seems to be a prequel to the original series of movies without being that. It was able to tell its own story, updated story but keep original movie fans like myself in the loop with this new telling of the story. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Deadpool 2 (Theater) – So one of the funniest damn comic book movies got a sequel and it was still funny as hell. This time around Deadpool is depressed because his girl gets killed by some low life who tracked him down and he wasn’t able to save her. But a kid with the power of fire needs to be saving so Deadpool gets a team together to track down the kid and save the day. Problem is a bad ass from the future Cable is time traveling superhero who has come the future to kill the kid because he killed Cable’s family in the future. With that Deadpool and Cable spend most of the movie fighting each other too much to the point the kid makes friends with the Juggernaut to help him seek revenge against the man that called him, “an abomination”. This one does try to tame the jokes down just a little bit but the film is still a lot fun and glad to see this character grow now with a team. This franchise has an interesting future especially if Disney is now involved as I give the film 4 stars.

 

Tomb Raider (On Demand) – This reboot, remake, whatever yinz kids are calling this these days had my curiosity for the mere reason I liked the other two older flicks based on the popular video game. This film takes Lara Croft from a little bit of a different point of view where Lara isn’t the female Indiana Jones we all know. She is a woman who skipped college and struggles with the disappearance of her father the past several years. Forced to sign papers to take over everything she is given a key. This key happens to be a secret room where her father’s tomb is and she comes to find out her father has been living a double life. He got lost on an expedition looking for an evil Asian queen that could bring ruin to the world as we know it. So she investigates as she has always felt he is still alive? Finds herself in Hong Kong getting a boat and searching for an impossible island. In the end after finding her father and fighting an evil group of people called Trinity she has found her calling and is going to use her father’s riches to fight it. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

The Leech Woman (DVD) – A film from 1960 where a scientist is visited by an old woman who claims she is 140 years old. She has been able to live this long because of a magic powder her tribe in Africa has. But she is going back home to die but felt to tell this scientist and allow him to do tests to prove she is telling the truth. The scientist sees it as a chance to cash in and make his wife young again because he doesn’t like her anymore. So this scientist, his friend, and the wife travel to investigate this tribe and its beliefs. But it isn’t just powder from a plant; you have to kill someone and get brain fluid from a gland at the back of the neck and drink it. This is what keeps the tribes people so young if they desire? The wife loses her mind and becomes obsessed with how it works that she steals and brings it back to the states but she has to kill on a regular basis because the effects do not last long. Fun movie if you would be watching it in a drive-in otherwise a bit boring but still fun for nostalgia as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Dark Tower (DVD) – So I never read the books but still don’t quite understand how this could be crammed into 93 minutes. This time traveling film about the ‘man in black’ and ‘the gunslinger’ fighting over a boy with amazing psychic powers that could be used to destroy the tower and allow the demons in. The film comes off like a T.V. pilot for a new show on SyFy Channel and not sure if that is good or bad? But even without reading the books there just seems to be certain plot points that should have been fleshed out more? But hey whatever they usually screw up most Stephen King adaptions so it wasn’t a horrible time killing 90 minutes as I give it 2 stars.

 

Plague (DVD) – A lower budgeted zombie flick from Australia where the zombies have started eating people and a group of people have chosen to stay inside this shed. A fight breaks out and one of them dies and they split up. Then a stranger show up claiming to be friendly, has food, has a gun, and wants to just live happily until this all blows over. But when the husband has asthma attack the stranger takes advantage of the woman to help him out. The film should have just skipped to the end where everyone is just trying to fuck the other over to stay away from the zombies but instead tries to put together this boring ass flick. They don’t even feature much zombie action until the last few minutes of the film as I give it 0 stars.

 

Escape Plan 2: Hades (DVD) – Sly Stallone is back as Breslin as him and his associates are still trying to break out of the impossible prisons until a hostage is killed in the process. They let go the guy they believe is at fault and time goes by. Now they are being captured one by one and thrown into another impossible prison that houses criminals of all kinds that might be worth a lot to someone on the outside for the information they carry so the system has become for profit. A fun follow-up without Arnold, but some newcomers to the Breslin team that comes off like a combo of “The Expendables” and “Fortress 2”. To me that sounds awesome so keep making sequels as I give this 3 stars.

 

Corbin Nash (On Demand) – Malcolm McDowell is a blind man telling a story about a hard-nosed cop who had no family but is about to learn the truth about them. An old friend invites Rutger Hauer in for a couple minutes to explain to Corbin that his parents were monster hunters. Corbin not really believing in this sets his mind back on all the disappearances that keep happening and may have finally had a lead. The lead is two psychos who just happen to be vampires who capture Corbin so he could be used in some underground fighting ring to be either food or entertainment for these other vamps. Corbin gets turned into a vampire himself but uses it for good to find these two monsters and rip them a part. A fun horror flick that is like a comic book that has been done several times through the years. It’s enjoyable but doesn’t make me want to run out there and tell the world you should buy several copies as it seem to be missing something and it wasn’t just more Rutger Hauer. I give this comic bookish horror movie 2 ½ stars.

Primal Rage: The Legend of Oh-Mah (DVD) – No relation to the mad monkey film of 1989 as it’s about the Native American Bigfoot legend that lives in the deep woods. A couple driving down the road after a run in with drunken hunters at the gas station hit something in the road. They go check it out to see it’s a mutilated body so they call the cops but are attacked by something throwing rocks. Forced down the hill into the river the couple is now wet, far from their car, and not sure exactly where they are at or what happened. In the morning they begin their trek through the woods where they find the drunken hunters in hopes of using their radio or cell phone? But the creature that has been stalking them begins attacking them and brutalizing their bodies as this legendary creature wants the female. It’s up to the county sheriff to believe in his heritage to go help find this couple and kill this monstrous creature that is just protecting the woods? A good amount of gore and another take on the Bigfoot legend makes this a cool little horror flick for Bigfoot fans to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars. Before I forget Bigfoot/Oh-Mah is able to use an axe, knives, a JAVENLIN! They explain it sort of…

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #440

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Gross Movie Reviews #440

 

The Mole People (DVD) – After an earthquake shakes things up for archeologists as they find an opening in some ruins that leads to a secret underground city. The city had been shut off from humanity for thousands of years after a similar earthquake and believes the daylight kills them. If that wasn’t enough they enslaved Mole creatures to do their bidding of digging up mushrooms. A fun 50s ‘Creature Feature’ well worth checking out again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre (DVD) – Before you get on your soapbox to bitch about the title, the film was released in 2000 and that is about all I will do to defend this turd. Well maybe defend Debbie Rochon also but I am sure she may regret being a part of this project? A group of strippers decide it’s time for a vacation so they head to a beach house in the middle of a hurricane. And then just non-sense happens with Mr. Creepo. Before I forget Debbie Rochon plays part stripper/part psychic, it does make some kind of weird sense if you pay attention to the film? But bottom line ‘massacre film’ fans no one dies until an hour in and it’s pretty lame so for that I just give it a ½ star.

Paranoia Tapes (Vimeo/DVD) – A recent independent project where a man finds films, clips, random VHS tapes, of murders, interviews, confessions, etc. He uploads them to the internet in hopes of other people watching them and being just as scared as he is. The film comes off as some sort of ‘Found Footage’ film. But saying that I am not sure that is what the film can be classified as that? In an age of where kids now watch other people play video games on YouTube that is what this flick reminded me of. Right or wrong this movie is not meant for me as much as maybe the “Paranormal Activity” kids and for that I give it 1 out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/paranoiatapes/?ref=br_rs

 

Paranoia Tapes 2: Press Play (Vimeo/DVD) – So the sequel picks up with several filmmakers contributing again to the project. But what makes this venture a little different is that it looks a little more polished. But again movie clips, possible real footage, police footage, you be the judge is being uploaded to the internet by a guy named Chase. Chase is going somewhat insane because there is this Henry dude that keeps sending him these videos and clips. There is more violence, murder, but also it seems more of a coherent film that is like a blend of “Grave Encounters” and “V/H/S” on the low budget independent level. Again this type of project isn’t for me but easily can see the younger crowd really enjoying this film for what it really is. For that I give it 2 out 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/PT2PRESSPLAY/

 

Siren (YouTube/DVD) – Another found footage flick from the same people who did “Paranoia Tapes” where a few years back some teenagers go missing in Kansas. They decide to do a film project for school over the holiday break that involves some kids supposedly living out in the woods. An urban myth of sorts, they want to debunk it if true interview them and get the story of why they are out there? They head to the woods to find the ‘Fender Children’. Goal is to get some footage, but a weird thing happens, and then when they are checking out the footage later and they are murdered. Most of it being filmed and the USB drive shows up at a police station a few months later. Feels like a blend of “The Blair Witch Project” and “Area 51” if you are a fan of ‘found footage’ flicks as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info:     https://www.facebook.com/Southernsykosproductions/

 

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection (DVD) – Another remake, reboot, re-whatever you wanna call this horseshit from the UK where they thought it was a good idea. There are zombies but also apparently the kids don’t care so they began to kill people also for fun. Another sad attempt to cash in on the title and the film company that released it should not be allowed to exist. ACTUALLY COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS AND STOP SUCKING! This is the kinda of crap that gives horror movies and legit filmmakers Indy or big budget a bad name. It is best you avoid and move on without ever watching this turd. Live this crap for me to witness and take the abuse as I give it 0 stars.

 

Bikini Party Massacre (DVD) – A little slasher film from 2002 with a little twist were you get to see lots of boobs! Six people head out to the woods for a weekend of fun and of course run out of gas. Of course the female version of ‘Crazy Ralph’ shows up to help out with the gas issue and the group to move on. After some partying, boobs, and weird dreams you learn there is a psycho among them. Weird thing is no of them exist except him… Weird and maybe a better film than it ever deserves to be but it was on my ‘massacre list’ so I was going to watch it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Twilight People (DVD) – An early 70s Philippines flick that help start Pam Grier’s career that is like a cheaper “Island of Dr. Moreau”. The effects are not great but the passion for filmmaking is and this flick has a scientist kidnapping people to experiment on. Tis scientist is looking for the perfect human to test his theory of humans needing to evolve for what is coming in the future. Pam Grier as a ‘Panther Woman’, a weird dude as a winged mutant, there should have been six sequels to this flick especially with Corman’s company helping. I give it 3 stars.

 

Cyber Ninja (VHS) – A late 80’s Asian flick that pits Human Ninjas vs. Demon Robots or Mecha Ninjas. After the great wars a cyber-ninja is born from an experiment by the dark overlord who stole a great ninja’s soul to place in a Mecha Ninja and makes it an unstoppable warrior. Crazy special effects are the highlight of this ninja flick that also predates the “Power Rangers” and features ‘Voltron’ sound effects. The Mecha Ninja is torn on helping the humans but believes it is his only chance to regain his body again. The film is a fun crazy mess if you are a fan of stuff like “The Guyver”. ‘Cyber Ninja’ is a well worth find out there that I haven’t heard much about but after watching it I give it 3 stars.

 

Mad-Made Monster (DVD) – So right before “The Wolf Man” Lon Chaney Jr. did a flick where he is experimented on after an accident. He was on a bus with five other people that crashed and the other folks get electrocuted. He survives so a scientist comes to visit him asking if he wants to help with revelation. But his assistant has other plans to use Mr. Chaney as scapegoat to kill people after he turns him into an electrified zombie. Fun black and white horror crap that can be a lot of fun watching with friends. I give it 2 stars.

 

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and his stepson follow a Jules Verne story to find an island where an old Michael Caine has discovered Atlantis. Problem of course the island is sinking back into the ocean and they must find Captain Nemo’s sub in order to survive the ordeal. Bad CGI, overacting by the Rock, and old Michael Caine makes it entertaining enough to get through the flick with my daughter so I can watch real crap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Joel (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent flick that documents the murders of Joel Rifkin. A serial killer who in the Long Island area killed 17 people in a 3 ½ year period (1989-1993) and no one knew until he was pulled over with a dead body in the back of his truck.  According to Joel not only was he a disappointment to his father because of his learning disability but was picked on by other kids. Joel became a loner and was a virgin until he was about to go to college. But that all changed when Joel understood you could pay for sex. Joel constantly blew through his money on hookers. But as that was happening Joel also fantasized about strangling a woman during the sex act. After he did it for the first time he became addicted to it but no one ever noticed because they were hookers. Yeah they made the news but Joel kept going until that faithful night he was caught all because of a license plate. He always believed he could get them to get in a stranger’s car? Never knew about this dude but now I do and the filmmaker did an amazing job of bringing this serial killer to film. And it is kinda creepy how much the actor actually looks like the real killer named Joel Rifkin. Great stuff for horror fans and true crime nuts as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: http://www.joelthemovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #439

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Gross Movie Reviews #439

 

Sorority Party Massacre (DVD) – The film has several all-star cameos (Kevin Sorbo, Ron Jeremy, Leslie Easterbrook, Richard Moll) and starts off like a “Scream” film so I was in. prestige sorority girls get together at a mansion in Grizzly Cove every year to try and win the Fawson grant. But what the beautiful young ladies don’t know is girls have been going missing over the past 30 years without anyone noticing. But a suspended big city detective heads out to Grizzly Cove to check up on the boss’ daughter and stumbles upon the several disappearances that have gone unnoticed. It’s up to the big city detective to put all the pieces of the crimes together. The movie starts off like a fun lower budget slasher flick but fails in the second half to keep me or any other horror movie fan interested as I give it 1 star.

 

Lake Placid: Legacy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – It’s been 25 years since the events that occurred with the big croc. Since then the Black Lake area has been fenced off like Area 51 and not on Google maps! But a team of Eco-activists who just did their last event is challenged by a feuding group of eco-activists to make their way to Black Lake. So they do and break into the fenced off area surprised by the calmness of what was a “toxic spill event” according to the government. Once there they see the place is abandoned but no toxic spill took place here. But once they find the abandoned lab and dead bodies something is amiss and still there? Eventually the team finds out scientists were there to play god by doing stem cell research with a giant croc that is loose roaming the quiet waters of Black Lake. The buildup is a lot of fun and there is some blood but the sequel fails to finish off a great concept for a sequel this far into the series. It is better than the last couple sequels but could have been so much better as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo (VHS/You Tube) – A fun TV movie from 1977 about poisonous spiders being shipped from Ecuador to the U.S. by Dr. Johnny Fever and Tom Atkins. These two guys get the idea of make big cash taking coffee beans from Ecuador and selling them for big cash in San Francisco. But as the coffee beans are being loaded spiders are also making their way onto the plane inside with the beans. To top it off the foreign military types won’t allow the pair to take off unless they have money so of course they let three people from Ecuador hitch a ride. They are the first ones to encounter the dangerous spider and the plane ride goes downhill from there. With nowhere to land they crash near a small orange picking community where shortly after they leak fuel and the plane is set ablaze. This causes the spiders to spread and attack the people of the small town. But the worst is yet to come when the spiders find the orange warehouse! If the people don’t find a way to get the spiders out safely, the big store won’t take the oranges and the town will go bankrupt. So after several deaths in the community the people figure out some kind of wasp can make the spiders freeze, immobilize, safe to pick up and get rid of… Hilarious as hell but a fun piece of TV movie history to watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

White Goods (You Tube) – An independent film out of the UK from White Raven Films where a group of people show up to a mansion for spirits, magic, and a psychic. But a dude named ‘Rio Tard’ finds a box hidden in the basement and doesn’t remember what happened afterward. Strange things begin to happen as people begin to die as Rio apparently unleashed a demon with finding the box. The demon is killing anyone that Rio knows including a fucking dryer eating a person (thank you The Mangler). With it being from another country sometimes for me it loses something in translation? It has the blood, weird humor, and a demon but not the killer instinct of a demon film to enjoy? Reason I bring up maybe this horror film is not for me but a certain audience. Anyway still glad I got to watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You always get bonus points for appliances fucking people up. If anything great artwork for the DVD that will get horror fans interested. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/White-Goods-movie-978394265559408/

 

Meltdown (DVD) – A mid-90s Jet Li flick that some of you might know as “High Risk”. Jet Li’s character loses his family in a car bomb that he wasn’t able to defuse in time. A couple years later we see him as a bodyguard/stand-in for a drunken famous stunt man known as Frankie Lane. When an exhibition that has invited Frankie is taken over by terrorists Jet Li must fight his way in and save the day. Wall to wall martial arts action that will make you a fan of Jet Li’s work. Fun stuff folks as I give it 3 stars.

 

Werewolf in London (DVD) – An interesting Universal Picture where this was a precursor to 1941’s “The Wolf Man”. Apparently this flick came out in 1935 and people were not excited at all by it like “The Wolf Man” we all know and love. Plus this flick doesn’t follow all the werewolf movie myths we have come to know. Maybe this was the exception for the question in “The Monster Squad” about how to kill werewolf? Anyhow, a doctor is bitten in the forbidden mountains of Tibet while looking for a flower that only blooms in the moonlight. Goes back home and comes to find out he is changing and must go out at night to kill. But a competitor lets him in on a secret that the flower when in bloom can help the werewolf issue. Nowhere near as creepy and fun as “The Wolf Man” six years later but an interesting watch if you are a fan of the Universal Monsters and worth reading up on. I give it 2 stars.

Stephan Kora: A Monster from Irkutsk (DVD) – I have either found a new black metal band or Alex Wesley and Philip Brocklehurst have another crazy horror project straight out of Russia. A renowned author is forced to write a book about true crime, a serial killer named Stephan Kora to be exact. In order to write the book he must watch the films about Mr. Kora’s murders as Mr. Kora like to document everything. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to help this author get through this task. Mr. Kora the serial killer was screwed from birth as his face was filled with tumors. This of course made everyone make fun and take advantage of Mr. Kora all of his young life until he decided to go his brutal killing spree. If you enjoy serial killer flicks or TV shows this will be a gory flick right up your alley as I give this short film 3 out of 4 stars. Need to find out more, track this dude down:  https://www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

 

Front Page (DVD) – So a local (Pittsburgh) filmmaker Michael Migliore has started to work on a few projects. This short film of his is about a common man named Wilbur who is obsessed with making the front page of the paper and getting from under his mother’s curse. But no matter how many people Wilbur slaughters in the dirty streets or behind a Dollar Tree of Pittsburgh he cannot get the front page. The front page belongs to an unknown killer who is leaving bloodless victims everywhere. Wilbur is so concentrated on his task doesn’t see the girl Alexis he just picked up will be his undoing. I enjoyed the short film concept but wasn’t thrilled with the casting choices but overall a short film to build on as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info:  https://www.facebook.com/michael.migliore.9

 

Alexis (DVD) – Bloodless bodies are showing up around the streets of Pittsburgh and the police have no answers. Is it the work of a serial killer or a vampire? According to some crazed religious freak on public access news channel it’s a vampire. The work the killer has done has been nicknamed “The Downtown Drainer”. Alexis, an athletic boxer on the verge of making the Olympics is upset with this as she has concealed her identity as a vampire for many years. The only person that knows about her and supports her is Alexis’ girlfriend Laura who just happens to be a doctor who is trying to figure out a better way for Alexis to feed or survive in the long run. But Alexis has pain from the hunger of blood and tries to pick people who deserve it? But after an incident and a person close to the pair is killed by Alexis they choose to move out in the sticks to try to lay low and look like the normal girl/girl couple making things work. But a shitload of hurt comes down when the local redneck asshole shows up drained of blood in an alley and the Christian mayor calls in vampire hunters. I enjoyed the concept of “Alexis” being expanded but this film could have been edited down, including cutting out the three-way sex scene, added more blood, and leaving out the vampire hunters. I just feel Michael Migliore may have overthought this film leaving it less desirable than the interesting concept short film he made called “Front Page”. For that I give the feature 1 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info:   https://www.facebook.com/michael.migliore.9

 

Sicario (DVD) – A female F.B.I. agent (Kate) who is a bad ass has just been pulled to be a part of a D.O.D. mission. She is to observe and understand what is coming. She is to observe a team of experts who plan to fight against the Mexican cartels who just happened to tunnel their way into Arizona recently. She has the chance to make an actual difference as there has been a change at the highest level of U.S. government to try to stop or at least counter the latest actions of the cartels. Josh Brolin is a free spirited man who believes Kate can learn and understand what the government is trying to do here with the cartels. But then she introduced to a mysterious man, a hitman played by Benicio Del Toro who is very calm in what he does and kind of looks out for Kate at first. A deal has been made, lines are now blurred, and there isn’t procedure any longer, as its war! And the hitman is here to restore order by any means needed. Alejandro, the hitman is a Columbian hitman that is here in the U.S. to restore order. When Kate disagrees she finds out the hard way this isn’t the F.B.I. any longer. With this latest flick I have seen Del Toro has just made it into ‘my top 5 actors I want in everything’. This action flick about the cartels does not wimp out as it is cold hearted and fucking awesome as I give it 4 stars.

 

Strange Shadows in an Empty Room (VHS) – A flick from Canada (the Italy of the North) surprised me. This mid-70s flick is about a hard-nosed detective named Tony who is pissed and wants answers after his sister dies of a strange death in front of friends. So Tony begins looking into her college life and knocking on doors and does not like what he is exactly finds. But it gets a little more complicated when bodies begin to pile up that may be connected to her death. A bad ass murder/mystery movie that has a scene where a dude holds a knife to an infant to hold off Tony in a hospital. The film is a little rough around the edges and a little dated but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this “Dirty Harry” clone to its fullest as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #438

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Gross Movie Reviews #438

 

Happy Hour Holocaust 2: The Second Round (DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers ‘Jim Roberts’ is back at it again with his crew. They recently finished up a sequel to their fun anthology film they released a couple years back. I have had this film sitting in my possession for almost two months. Jim wanted me to hold off because he had a little bit more editing left but I could not wait any longer as I am a huge fan of his work. And his crew that consists of his family and Jorge Delarosa are some of the coolest down to earth talented people you could ever meet. This new anthology of course expands the role of the bartender who does the wrap around story along with one of the best made movie openings I have ever witnessed. Great stuff guys! Wonderful music and effects blended together to set the mood of this independent feature. Our bartender has another three stories to tell: first was a reality show of drunken house flippers and what’s in the basement? Second is about mom and two brothers who have to take care of her. (Reviewed this short while back) Third is about a lonely dude out in the woods that seeks revenge for his dog. As usual Jim and family put together a tightly knit cast and film with some of the best special-effects you will see in an independent film on the east coast! A well-executed follow up film for the family as they never disappoint as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Jim: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004080845938

The Litch (DVD) – A hilarious film from independent filmmaker James Balsamo about a character named Vinnie who tells the story of accidentally awaken an undead demon wizard thing! James uses his talent to bring in some great cameo appearances to move the story along and keep it loose. Two of the cameos include Jeff Burr, Tom Sizemore and Elizabeth Daily. (Ms. Daily is a fave of mine just because of her work in the 80s.) Vinnie awakens the undead wizard thingy when he steals an expensive crystal from a crystal store. And according to Vinnie “that was the worst idea ever.” When he does it sets in motion events of “The Litch” possessing people in Vinnie’s life and their goal is to retrieve the crystal. If this happens “The Litch” is able to be THE RULER OF THE FOUR WORLDS! “The Litch” needs an army as he feeds on their souls. The film about a bumbling criminal and undead demon thingy is absolutely well-constructed, hilarious, and can see this having a few sequels in the future? And if anything else James did make sure you get to see lots of boobs. For that I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info on the film: http://www.acidbathproductions.com/

 

Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre (DVD) – First off if you are like me and have seen “The Porn Shoot Massacre” before you seen this film? Erase it from your mind right now damn it! This is a much better constructed and thought out horror film with shades of “Scream”. Quad-X porn company is about to have their biggest shoot ever. But a killer or killers are stalking and slashing their way through all the Quad-X’s famous pornstars. With lots of drama on the set between director, producers, and actors barely anyone notices people disappearing until local detectives get involved. But the movie must go on as they say in the industry! Instead of throwing lots of tits and ass at the screen for the viewer the filmmakers go in a different direction and give you a horror movie that doesn’t feel like a poor excuse to not call it porn? “The Porn Shoot Massacre” anyone? I really enjoyed the direction of this production, the selectively placed ads over the nudity, and of course the dildo drill to the head (it kind of resembles the Bob scene in “Gates of Hell” or “City of the Living Dead”). At first I was only going to give this flick 2 stars but as the days pass from first watching I have to give it 3 stars as I know I will be watching this film again. Thank you filmmakers understanding the difference between humor, horror, and porn…

Overdose: Death of a Punk Rocker (Blu-ray) – When looking at this movie the first thing that catches my eye is the tagline: “Punk’s not dead… But Brad is!” okay I am in. Brad Stanley is the lead singer of a band called ‘B-movie Nightmares’. His former band mate and best friend Brian is watching the news and sees this report of Brad dying of a heroin overdose. Brian at first in shock refuses to accept this fate. But thinks about it calmly and decides to go down the rabbit hole of finding out the real truth of Brad’s death because Brian refuses to believe there wasn’t something or somebody behind his death. This rabbit hole gives us hilarious stories of when ‘B-movie Nightmares’ were together, lots of dialogue on Brad wanting to join the “27 club” of famous people, music industry conspiracies, and why Brian quit the band. If you are a Kevin Smith fan you enjoy this entertaining dialogue driven film. By no means this is a horror movie but that doesn’t mean you cannot take a chance on watching a film from filmmaker D.J. Yarotsky and enjoying something pretty fucking interesting with great music. I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/overdosefilm/

Freak in the Basement (DVD) – Another gory flick from Alex Wesley and Russia has made its way to me again where this film was a few years in the making. We meet a man named Nicholai. Nicholai visits a therapist to help him with his serious problem. Needs help, he needs someone to listen; he needs to stop killing people! But Nicholai begins to tell the story to the therapist of the monster in his basement. He comes in contact with creature after he tries to evict a tenant. The tenant is high or delusional but she wipes some weird stuff on his lips and Nicholai feels a high like no other before. Quickly becoming addicted to it and the creature possibly having telekinetic powers with him, he understands that the creature eats human flesh it secretes this snotty liquid/sweat which gets you high. This high cause Nicholai to go on a killing spree and then the movie gets real weird when the alien cyborg arrives to retrieve the creature to be a slave on another planet? Yes people I cannot make this entertaining shit up and love it when I see it on screen. Just when you think you have seen it all, you haven’t thanks to Alex Wesley and his independent filmmaking crew! I give this fun adventure into gore 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/groups/837731036372859/about/ and https://www.facebook.com/ShansHorrorFilms/

 

Swingers Massacre (VHS/YouTube) – The 1974 thriller is also known as “Inside Amy” for 70s film buffs. This cautionary tale of being into the “swinging” is about a lawyer who has been married for several years to a beautiful woman named Amy who is just happy with everything. But after Charlie hears a story about the lifestyle from one of his divorcee clients he is hell bent on trying this out with Amy whether she is into or not. Out of just wanting to please Charlie and his limp old wiener Amy goes along with the idea of going to a hip swingers club where they meet a few couples. One thing leads to another at a party afterward and Amy just happens to be the life of the party as males and female partners want “Inside Amy”. (Ha, ha, I couldn’t help myself as I wanted to laugh while writing this) Anyway Amy has a wonderful time and Charlie not so much. When they are calling back for the couple to come back for more parties Charlie’s reaction is “No!” and go on a killing spree of those who have and still want to bang Amy. A wonderful 70s film that I was unaware of and glad I now own a copy as I will be revisiting this again soon as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hell Spa (DVD) – A horrible but hilarious fun bad film to watch with friends is about Benson’s Health Spa which is closing due to all the new spiffy workout clubs that have sprung up. The failed business is closing its doors until a mysterious man named Mr. Ex comes by and offers her a one-time deal she cannot refuse. A few days later Benson’s Health Spa is up and running and looks better than it ever did. They even run a commercial saying “Look Beautiful and Stay Fit or Never Pay a Dime”. But things are not always what they seem as a local college paper investigates the resurgence in Benson’s Health Spa and their promotion. Plus they want to know more about the bad-looking 80s TV villain Mr. Ex and what’s his involvement since the new health spa is in every aspect of your life once you join with the new lifetime membership. But don’t worry folks this film doesn’t disappoint being the next film you need to own in your “bad movie collection” when a floppy disk saves all! Remember people film was made in 1990 and released in 1992 as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Death Wish (On Demand) – Finally the Eli Roth remake has made its way out there for all of us to witness, tear apart, or just complain it doesn’t have Chuck Bronson. In the times we live in the film has a whole entire different feel to it than the original from the early 70s. I believe that actually helps this film work as Mr. Kersey is played by Bruce Willis and is a doctor from Chicago in this film. When Kersey is called into surgery on his birthday, his wife and daughter get attacked in their home. His wife dies and daughter critically injured, Kersey is distraught with the lack of findings from the police. So just like the original Kersey takes it upon himself to track down the men that wronged his family. The movie isn’t going to make anyone’s best films of the year list but is too easy of a target for society to point too for several reasons. Instead I look at like this: This remake doesn’t bother me at all as it has a complete different feel to it just because what is happening in real life these days and I really didn’t feel anything for any of the characters. I believe Eli Roth did what he could with what was there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 (DVD) – Thanks to “5 Second Films” and crowd funding this movie exists as it doesn’t just make fun of the slasher genre as much as points out the some funnier aspects of the lesser known slasher flicks. Plus they wanted to break the record for most kills on film. Brock belongs to a frat who has survived two massacres of a killer named “Motherface”. But he dies when seeing a therapist to talk about what happened. So his twin less appealing brother Brett sets off to pledge for the same frat and find out what really happened to his brother and find his killer. But the frat brothers are not sure to accept Brett or not as they go off to the cabin in the woods for the weekend where they killed the whole town with a flood. Once there the Motherface is back and slicing and dicing her way through the frat brothers in hopes of killing them off completely. And it is possible that Ronald Reagan is behind everything? Hilarious, check your brain at the door horror film that yeah most likely goes a few minutes longer than it should have. But still worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

What better way to celebrate Free Comic Book Day than it being my birthday also!!!

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The Geekadrome : Games and Comics

534 Brookline Blvd, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15226

 

 

This Free Comic Book Day will also mark out 11th year in Brookline and we want to celebrate that with a sale to coincide with our Free Comic Book Day.

What’s Free Comic Book Day?
FCBD is a celebration of comics, art, and reading where we purchase a selection of comics to give away for free during the event. as well have special exclusive Funko Pop figures that can only be purchased at the event.

What’s going to be on sale?
All kinds of things are going to be on sale, t-shirts will be $10, we will have a special sale table filled with action figures, collectibles and more all half off or more, and of course comics!

Anything else?
YES! We will be giving away some unique collectible merchandise TBA and each purchase gets you an entry to win one, Winners won’t need to be present but will need to pick them up.

Can I take Free Comics for my friend?
No, But you should tell them about it or even bring them with you. Comics are pop culture and our culture and we love to share it, but we can’t tell if we are sharing it or if someone is just being a little greedy.