Gross Movie Reviews #556

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Gross Movie Reviews #556

Combat Shock (DVD) – A surprisingly different movie and caused a little backlash for its subject matter at the time when Troma picked this film up in 1986. This well done gritty flick centers in on a Vietnam vet Frankie and gives you a typical day in the life of Frankie’s harsh reality. It has been several years since Frankie has been back from the war but like a lot of vets he still has trouble adjusting. Frankie just wants to have a steady job and paycheck to take care of his family. But at some point drugs, no money, depressing family life of no hope gets to Frankie and drives him to suicide after a series of crazy, dark series of events. There is no happiness in this gritty dark film just a man slowly going insane because he cannot adjust to society. I give the film 3 stars and there is an extra loaded two-disc version available from Troma.

Strange Nature (DVD) – A film based on recent events in the Northern mid-west has a middle-aged mother Kim and her son Brody moving in with dad. Dad or Pops as he is called lives in a small rural town where most people keep to themselves as Kim hoped to avoid this. Kim has a history with the town and would like to avoid talking the past but doesn’t take long for her to stir up some shit when she becomes intrigued with some deformed frogs found in the woods. At the same time there has been a few locals going missing and never really explained at the same time as Kim thinks they can be linked somehow. All this weirdness seem to start happening when American Patriot Chemicals introduced a new product into the ecosystem and now there is parasites, deformed babies, among other things being found. The film has a solid cast and a great monster payoff that makes this lesser known recent horror flick worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

Bone (DVD) – Always read about this 1972 Cohen flick starring Yaphet Kotto as Bone as I finally found time to sit and watch it fully for the first time. We are introduced to a supposedly wealthy couple hanging at the pool until Bone comes by to introduce himself by removing a rat out of the pool filter. This sets up a 90 minute story of a man holding up a rich couple for money and possible rape? But that is where the film decides to take a weird left turn has the viewer take a leap down the rabbit hole as Bone comes up with a plan when he finds out the couple are actually not that rich and might be crazier than anyone thought. Instead ruining more of this fun low budget surprise I leave you with this when you watch it… did the Bone character ever exist? Now think about that after you have watched this interesting gem as I give it 3 stars.

Toolbox Murders 2 (DVD) – What in the hairy nutsack was I thinking when I watched this? Oh yeah, it is a sequel, you got me. Anyhow, a lunatic that is connected to a pair of sisters who decides to kill one and keep the other as a pet and torture her in his home made ‘Hostel’ dungeon. I feel like I should love this movie but instead I found myself so completely bored I feel asleep several times trying to get through this piece of trash. Everyone consider yourself warned about this film because the sister that is kept for the dungeon should have been purged from the script before this garbage hit production as I give this 0 stars.

Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.  

13 Slays Till X-mas (Blu-ray) – A group of regular drinkers at the bar decide to tell each other stories on Christmas Eve night. An old holiday tradition according to one bar patron, as these fine folks decide to restart it. Each gets to tell two stories a piece and whoever has the worst has to pay for all the drinks. There isn’t a weak story of the bunch and a lot of good Indy talent involved in this project but wasn’t a fan of the ending of this anthology as it felt forced. But if interested the two stories from mall Santa at the bar were my favorite as one includes an evil twin of Santa Claus as I give the holiday film 2 ½ stars.

Matrix Resurrections (HBO/Max) – Things have changed now, “The Matrix” doesn’t exist, something else does and Neo and his girlfriend have been kept asleep to power the real reality. This film goes back to the first movie to explain what happened to Neo after he was first awaken and changed things for the good between man and machines. Bottom line it is fun sci-fi goobly gook that the movie nerds should enjoy. I was never a fan of the sequels but always enjoyed the first film and liked where they went with this latest entry. Need some mindless sci-fi in your life look no further as I give the latest entry 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #473

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

 

The Nun (DVD) – “The Conjuring” series continues as they did a prequel or more of an origin story for that scary ass nun that scares the nutsacks out of the Warrens. It is set in 1952 where a sect, group, whatever you wanna call them of nuns hang out in this remote castle called the Abbey outside of a small Romanian town. However these quiet young ladies have been keeping an evil secret hidden away from the Vatican and the world. After a young man who delivers food to the Abbey finds a bloody ass nun hung herself he thought he should get word to the right people. So the Vatican sends a priest with a mysterious past and a nun who has yet to take her vows to the Abbey and investigate the suicide. And see if the rumors are true about something evil living there? Once there they both understand quickly this evil is real and must be dealt with in a hurry as its power is beginning to grow. But no matter what happens we all know from the past films with the Warrens the ‘nun’ is still doing some ghostly shit so in the end what was the point of the film? For that I give a meh and 2 stars.

Empire of Ash (YouTube) – Been a little while since I touched on my second favorite genre “post-apocalyptic films”, so I thought it was time to tackle this Canadian thriller from 1988. If I got the backstory right it was supposedly filmed in 1986 then got rereleased in 1988 as “Empire of Ash II” in case you cannot find one, which is why. For another weird fact it was also retitled in some countries as “Maniac Warriors”, no wonder it took me a while to track this lower budgeted crap down. So the apocalypse happened and there are some survivors. Problem there is a crazy ass priest with his band of post-apocalyptic misfits killing survivors who are not down with the new god in ‘New Idaho’. A woman warrior (Danielle) and a weird bootleg of a bootleg loner warrior team up, bump uglies, and try to save the one’s sister. If that wasn’t enough plot for you on the other side of ‘New Idaho’ there is some generic scientists using some survival weirdos of kidnapping fresh victims, I mean survivors to use for their possible cure. In the end a lot of random filler and a hot young lady warrior 80s style fucking shit up but not enough for me to recommend yinz going down the same path of finding this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Empire of Ash III (YouTube) – Yes for the love of Rutger Hauer it had a sequel and I watched it. Released in 1989 it still follows the same female warrior (Danielle) who lost her man, her sister, and really doesn’t seem to care… Supposedly its 2050 and William Smith playing the new bad ass nutzoid priest is out fucking people up in ‘New Idaho’. Danielle after getting naked decides to help a young man rescue his teenage love from William Smith before he boinks her for god! There was little recasting from the first movie as you see a lot of the same people in this sequel but most likely someone got fired to pay for William Smith as he wasn’t doing high profile projects any longer. Best thing I can say about this besides Danielle and William Smith is there are cannibals and for that I give 2 stars. And before I forget this movie was also retitled “Last of the Warriors” at one time.

 

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (Blu-ray) – Okay people I really wanted to like this movie but man this was disappointing folks. The film stars Shane Douglas as himself. Douglas has a feud with another wrestler Billy that gets ugly quick over a woman. Douglas ‘accidentally’ kills this wrestler Billy in the ring. Billy’s Brother Angus in order to get revenge he must sacrifice a nurse to begin his zombie horde, and pay a promoter to set up a private wrestling event at an empty West Virginia prison. A bus takes the wrestlers (Douglas, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, and a few others) along with valets to the prison. Oh before I forget Kurt Angle makes a cameo through the side door that even seems out of place for this film? Now they all must fight through the hordes of zombies because Douglas and this now dead wrestler Billy could get along. Damn that is really playing a wrestling angle… too bad it is pretty boring. It has a little bit of gore and tons of extras but Piper has little to work with to help this feature along as maybe the film idea should have stayed dead as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (Theater) – Holy fuck nuts the action does not stop in this wonderful film. If you are looking for story or closure into the John Wick storyline you won’t find it here. But if you are looking for some of the best action sequences ever for a US film and wanna see John Wick kill hundreds, Mark Dacascos be one of my favorite villains and enjoy his work, Halle Berry have dick-chomping dogs, and be introduced to some bad ass action dudes you may have not had the pleasure watching in other films like I have? Check your brain at the door and allow your mind to be action fucked by this great film. The movie has flaws if you sit back and have been studying the storyline of the franchise as my podcast partners John Shatzer, Kyle Poling, and I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. Imagery is top notch but somewhere behind all that the writers may have forgotten what makes this run? Either way people I don’t care as I was entertained as hell as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Cold Steel (VHS/YouTube) – Jonathan Banks who plays Isaac the Iceman in this direct-to-video thriller wants revenge against Johnny Modine no relation to Matthew Modine. Johnny and Isaac were young cops who were close buddies partying until they got into a scuffle they couldn’t handle in an alley way behind the bar. Johnny got knocked out; Isaac got his throat and face slashed, and their buddy died. Besides killing Johnny’s father on Christmas Eve night he uses a young Sharon Stone to lure Johnny’s trust and let his guard down so The Iceman can play with him before his revenge. Maybe not the best of thrillers but you have amazing car stunts, Jonathan Banks who has always played a great bad guy, Adam Ant as a meth dealer, and Sharon Stone naked, I am in to watch this again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Possession (DVD) – Well this 1981 film was one fucking weird movie folks. Mark and Anna are having marriage troubles. Mark was away for a long time with his government job only to come home and spend some quality family time and find out his wife Anna is not just fucking another dude… But she apparently gave birth to some weird gooey thing in the subway tunnel that she has sex with and you are supposed to decide if its: God, the devil, or just Mark’s clone for some weird unknown reason? When you think the film gets strange and blows past that and just get downright confusing as Anna has an apartment away from Mark and her boyfriend so she can take care of this thing. Which she must kill to feed it by the way but Mark doesn’t understand until the very end when Anna regrets it when they both die. Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill were fucking amazing in way into the roles but I still don’t quite know what I watched in this gooey mystery as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Finally we got a new episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks up (we are lazy you know)

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 After a brief intermission we are back to talk about a true horror classic in THE HOWLING.  A truly bad sci-fi flick that has a ton of insanity in JOHNNY MNEMONIC. And a flick that Kyle recently found and flipped his wig over in CRAWLSPACE starring our old pal Krazee-pants Klaus Kinski.  Also we get to your questions and have all sorts of bullshitting, shit shooting, and witless banter.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

EPISODE 205

Two brand new episodes for all you hung over Thanksgiving horror fans

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BINGE AND PURGE on 2 new episodes over at www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com FIRST we welcome back DANNO KLONOWSKI to talk about THE GREEN INFERNO, KNOCK KNOCK, and MOONSTALKER. Then Kyle and Tim talk about the metal head masterpiece that is DEATHGASM and the awesome Halloween-time flick KENNY AND CO.

two new episodes