This week we invite our good friend and your friendly t-shirt salesman T-Shirt Joe back on the show because it’s Halloween. And when we think of Halloween we think of 80’s boner jamz. And on this episode we pick 3 flicks so bad that they may have killed the boner jamz episodes for good. First Joe brings us to T&A College and 5 dudes on their never ending quest to see all the boobies in SCREWBALLS. Next Kyle picks a cinematic abortion from 1984 that has no redeeming qualities at all (except maybe the sweet Sake tunes from The Untouchables) in THE PARTY ANIMAL. And finally a different set of dudes set about the beaches of California to get laid, see boobs and drink ketchup in HOT MOVES… Hey! At least Jill Schoelin is in it to Kyle’s great joy. And as always we have the news, we answer your listener questions, and talk about our favorite tricks to pull at parties. So download this episode or the will make a re-boot of The Party Animal (GOD FOIRBID)
Hey people November 12th came and gone… Why is that date so important to me? Well one year ago I was sitting in an ER where I believe my lord Rutger Hauer allowed me to see Anthrax in concert in the afterlife. All jokes aside after all the tests, the scares of a pacemaker, etc., found out I literally burned out the human body. (Yes, it is possible I did it.) The point is to this post that just the mere reason a lot of people helped last year with a GoFundMe page that was put together by my neighbor Nathan William and my brother Tom Gross. Again I can never say enough how much that meant to me to all the people who went in on it and know everyone who did. To this day there is still a list of people I never got to see or know who contributed. TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ! To celebrate this today I head to a couple locations to film yet another part of “Pink Eye: The Horror Story” segment for Dan and I’s upcoming film that we are shooting for Fall of 2022, “Tales From the Gross Side”. Not a day passes I do not think about how quickly and how much people came together to help and again “TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ!
P.S. I plan on living to the ripe old age of 197 where I am in a wheelchair and have Yuengling forced into me by I.V.
Drunken Yinzers Productions presents “Jagoff Massacre”
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2021 AT 7:30 PM EDT – 9:30 PM EDT
Willow Station Bar and Restaurant
Just a free movie screening on the back patio of Willow Station to help get yinz in the Halloween spirit. We will be screening the independent horror film “Jagoff Massacre” (along with Matt Cannon’s short film “Hexercise”) The film is about two drunken yinzers walking through Frick Park one night and interrupt a Satanic ritual by Satanists… Chaos ensues as these drunken yinzers must face off with evil and hope to survive this horrible night! Witness the hilarious terror and all the true stories that went into making this no budget film that refuses to go away. You not from the burgh? Be ready for a crash course of terror into what it is like to be a yinzer! So get your ass to this great bar/restaurant, grab an Iron City, and hang on the back patio for the Drunken Yinzers Productions screening of “Jagoff Massacre”, see yinz there!
This week Tim is on vacation so we called upon the only man who can solve all of our current race related problems T-SHIRT JOE! So firstly on Blaxploitation week John brings us SOUL BROTHERS OF KUNG FU, And Then Joe talks about a Bernie Casey jam called DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE. And finally Kyle cools us out and chats about a tale of a racist white man played by genre staple WILLIAM SMITH trying to push drugs into a clean neighborhood in BLACK SAMSON. Along the way we talk about all the old time comedy duos we can’t stand, what is with all the recent anti-Asian hatred, Why Kyle now hates THE OUTSIDERS (except Estevez, that dude is harsh), We also cover all the news, Answer all your listener questions, and cover what we have been watching the last week. So download this episode or Bernie Casey won’t cure your bad case of Hepatitis at his Health clinic/thrift store.
Gross Movie Reviews #528
Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (DVD) – An absolutely great and super interesting documentary about a filmmaker who made movies out of nothing during the 60s and 70s. And when he had nothing he would begrudgingly use his own money to bring his visions to life on the big screen. Most of his films were drive-in fodder but that didn’t stop him from giving audiences what they wanted: bikers, stuntmen, bad effects, gimmicks, whatever to get the picture sold! Mr. Adamson was an Indy talent like no other and made lots of friends along the way. But Al’s life was cut short by a so-called contractor he hired to work on his home. Hell, his story has been on the ID channel. The documentary is full of funny stories about his films getting made but it also chronicles the tragic event and how it was uncovered in the end. Wonderful stuff that makes me want to track down some of this filmmaker’s films as I give the documentary 4 stars.
High on the Hog (DVD) – A rather different and recent film from the talented Tony Wash whose film is considered one of the last appearances of the legendry Sid Haig. His film is like a colorful grindhouse flick about reefer madness. The story has three cute farm girls rolling into town selling their product to the local drug dealers as it is straight from the farm as they say. The girls and Big Daddy are just family farmers who are trying to survive in this cruel world. Unbeknownst to the family farmers’ federal agents are investigating tainted weed after several deaths. The family becomes a suspect after a rookie agent takes the initiative to go undercover and become part of the family to bust them. But Big Daddy doesn’t want to let go of the farm unless it’s the last possible thing. The film also stars Robert Z’dar, the talented Elle Church, and Joe Estevez as the ending wasn’t an ending I thought was coming? But anyway as usual I do not deny Tony Wash’s talent as a filmmaker but this film just didn’t do it for me as I could only give it 2 stars.
Heatseeker (DVD) – An Albert Pyun film that begins in Vegas 2019 where a human kickboxer reigns as champion of the world where cybernetics are all the rage among fighters. After this defeat a bunch of corporations get together to have a tournament where fighters with even more cybernetics can fight to the death to be the real world champion. Human champion Chance O’Brien is lured in after his soon-to-be wife and trainer is kidnapped by a crazed corporate asshat! A fun direct-to-video film from the 90s that is worth tracking down to see acting vet Thom Matthews to get in on the action as I give it 2 1 /2 stars.
The Town that Loved Bigfoot (DVD) – A hilarious and perfect documentary for all about a small southern town that has embraced Bigfoot! The town is Evergreen, Alabama where a newspaper article was written there several years ago about a strange creature being seen near town and from there the legend has grown. There are interviews with locals, hunters, Bigfoot hunters and their experiences around the town. If ever interested in Bigfoot start with this film as I give it 4 stars.
Future Hunters (DVD) – A lovely post-apocalyptic flick of sorts that seems to has a bigger budget than it actually does. The film stars Richard Norton and Robert Patrick and it was made in the Philippines of course! A man from 2025 gains possession of the ‘spear of destiny’ and it sends him back in time 40 years at the same site where Michelle and Slade are checking out an old church. Future man Matt hands of the spear to the couple as he dies to say to them “protect it with their lives”. The couple has a chance to prevent the nuclear holocaust that destroyed and formed Matt’s world in 2025. The couple argues what should be done with the spear until bootleg Playboy Buddy Rose comes looking for it and chases them all over the world for it! This post-apocalyptic film is one of the best to come out of the Philippines compared to some of the slop I have watched over the years. Plus if that isn’t enough you do get a great scene of Robert Patrick in his Fruit of the Looms and see the tan lines! Also what helps with the film is if you are able to track down an episode of Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs that had this film on as it was perhaps the funniest episode of the bunch. Great stunts, non-stop fun, an actual script, Robert Patrick, for that I give it 3 ½ stars.
Ditch Day Massacre (DVD) – First to find this film you may have to look for it under its recently change title “Ditch Day” most likely from a distribution company picking it up? We begin with a teenage girl (Jenny) who drives home drunk from a party and gets into an accident. She causes the death of a wife and young daughter but her father covers it up because he is a respected cop. One year later the husband/father (Bill Oberst Jr.) of the deceased wants revenge and starts with kidnapping Jenny’s father and mother. Jenny knows she was in the wrong but was apparently out of the loop that she caused death during this accident and it was reported as a hit and run the cops couldn’t solve. But that doesn’t help Jenny as now there is a cold-blooded killer after her and friends as they have ditched school to have a party. Wasn’t exactly thrilled with the ending and also found myself rooting for the killer to fuck Jenny’s shit up so I am kinda of torn with this ‘massacre’ title. Either way I give it 2 ½ stars for the mere fact I will remember this flick for a while and always cool to see Bill Oberst Jr. in a cool role.
Massacre (DVD) – An Eye-talian flick that Lucio Fulci only produced. The film seems to be about a red-gloved killer in sunglasses but by the end of the film I felt there were three different killers? Anyway a horror movie is being filmed and murders seem to take place nearby on a regular basis and the local authorities are trying to solve them. The giallo if you wanna call this flick was harder to follow than some of giallos I have watched recently but for entertainment value it did have a bootleg Shannon Doherty, bootleg Bruce Jenner, and a bootleg Reggie Bannister. Also if you do try tracking down this ‘massacre’ title be on the lookout for English subtitles as it was hard to find this film with some as I give it 1 star.
Garden Tool Massacre (DVD) – August 23, 1990, a man of the name Charles Scavolini chosen to murder his wife. Seven years later still serving his life sentence in Glenvale Sanatorium because he was deemed insane at trial has now found a way to escape the asylum. When Charles does he heads home only to find there is someone else living in his old home. So this causes Charles to grab a mask, garden tools, and go slicing and dicing through those who occupy his residence. This UK S.O.V. release has been rarely seen until recently as SRS Cinema has released it in all its glory of nostalgic video packaging for the world to enjoy as I give this title 1 ½ stars.
The Cat O’Nine Tails (DVD) – A fan favorite of Dario Argento’s that has murders of people who were connected to secret research projects. A blind man and his daughter suspect something fishy and visit a reporter who reported on the murder in the train station that was declared an accident. After talking the reporter and the blind man try their best to solve the murders before they become murdered themselves! A lot of character development in this film as this film even feels longer than the usual giallo as I give it 2 stars. I am sure Argento fans will be sending me hate mail for that one but again giallos are just not in my wheelhouse but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t give it a try…
The Texas Frightmare Massacre (DVD) – A 2010 effort from Joe Francis who decided to make the famous convention his backdrop for his no budget film. Eugene and Lyle train to be security guards only to have their first week of being security guards to be at the hotel the weekend of Texas Frightmare Weekend. Meanwhile while the duo have their troubles of making it through training, douchebag Todd and his hot ass girl Mary (thank you for being a redhead) are forced to take Mary’s step brother Max to the convention. Let’s not forget to mention Todd and Mary have sex with a horse head on while thinking about killing off Max. But once at the convention and mistreated one too many times by Todd, Max turns the tables on the couple. After dealing with the couple to put it in desirable terms Max goes on his convention killing spree. Thus it is up to the new security guards to stop the killer. Not the best of plots (especially since ‘The Horror Convention Massacre” predates this film by three years), running time is way too long for something that could have been an entertaining 30 minutes long, but the biggest mistake is no T-shirt Joe and Fast Custom Shirts! How Joe and his shirts were not featured in this was a poor decision. I will give credit for having the hot redhead Mary and the funny Eugene and Lyle characters but if you are going to use this convention as your back drop Joe Garcia has to be the star and for that I only can give this film a ½ star.
Any comments please send to email@example.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !
As we prepare to slam the door on this dumpster fire goat fuck of a year it wouldn’t be complete without a visit from T-Shirt Joe to help us run down the good, the bad, and the ugly of all the flicks of 2020. And we also have a very important… very special message from Tim Gross that you all need to hear. And as always we cover what we’ve been watching. What’s been happening in the news, and answer your listener questions. So download this episode or prepare to get infected with COVID 20.
This week we return with 3 very different movies to discuss. First we chat about a Clint Eastwood crime flick in TIGHTROPE. Then Tim picks UNCLE PECKERHEAD as only Tim could. And finally we cover our very first Santo flick in SANTO AND THE BLUE DEMON IN ATLANTIS. Also we get around to talking about such things as T-Shirts and where to get them, why Tim looks like an asshole to random people, Captain Kirk and the proper way of punching aliens in the dick, And a dozen of other topics. We also answer your questions and run down what we all have been watching this week. So Download this episode of Spock will get all horny.
This week we return to talk about some T&A flicks and we are bringing with us T-Shirt Joe. First we got a pretty weird Animal House rip-off in KING FRAT. Then Joe brings the heat with 1987’s PRETTY SMART. And finally we chat about 1979’s H.O.T.S. We also lament the cancellation of Halloween, How to identify and understand what random John Wayne your Dad is watching on television, The new greatness of Korean zombie flicks and a ton of other hot topics. So download this episode of all those poor seals will die.
Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross
July 25th and 26th, 2020
Mike and Amy Watt
Erin R. Ryan
Bryan Hogue aka Jack Shadow from Chiller Night
Brooklyn and Jared
The George Washington Hotel
60 South Main Street
Washington, PA 15301
Front Desk: 724.225.3200
July 25th, 2020 Saturday Movie List
(Vendor areas open at 11am and close 7pm that day)
“So why not start your day with a quick Grossfest workout?”
Hexercise – 11:05 – 11:25am
“Then the movie room really gets going!”
Suck Fest – 11:30 – 12:25pm
Circus of the Dead – 12:30pm – 2:45pm (30 min Q and A afterward with Billy Pon)
Do Not Disturb – 2:50 – 4:20pm
Grossfest award for short film – 4:30pm – 7:00pm
Grossfest award for feature film
And Grossfest lifetime achievement award
A M3owy St. Patrick’s Day and A Meowy Christmas Vacation –
7:00 – 8:20pm (Steve Rudzinski intro)
Spirit Animal- 8:25- 9:45pm (Maddie Deering intro)
Blood Freak – 9:45 – 11:00 pm (Daniel Boyd intro)
We close the movie room at 11pm and of course movies are subject to change!
See Yinz There!
This week Kyle, Tim, and John gather again to chat about 3 more genre flicks to make your brain fry. First Tim covers WERESQUITO: NAZI HUNTER (yes, you read that right). Next Kyle picks a flick he has never seen but seems to be right up his alley in BRAINSTORM. And John covers a sequel to a Christmas time cult classic in JACK FROST 2: THE REVENGE OF THE KILLER MUTANT SNOWMAN. We also talk about what we have been watching and read and answer you listener questions. So download this episode if you love Christopher Walken wearing futuristic headgear.
Welcome to the year 2020… And you know what time it is not. It’s time to join our good buddy T-Shirt Joe and recall all of the best movies we’ve all watched in the year 2019. We cover it all. The good, the bad, and the honorable mentions. So download this episode before Trump kills us all.
The 2019 was a great year for television. And Kyle and T-Shirt Joe are here to talk about all of it. Well, all of it except the What We Do In The Shadows series on FX because Kyle forgot to write that one down.
A guest announcement I believe all independent horror fans will be delighted to see in person… You may have seen him in recent independent films such as “It Stains the Sands Red”, “Another Wolfcop”, or “Meathook Massacre 4”? His career has recently taken off and he will be seen in several upcoming horror projects. But like me most know him as the director, writer, and actor in the recent masterpiece “Pool Party Massacre”. I am happy to introduce you to Drew Marvick!
P.S. Vendor table info coming soon!
Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross
July 25th-26th, 2020
The George Washington Hotel
60 South Main St.
Washington, Pa. 15317
Or find Grossfest on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram