Gross Movie Reviews #458

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Gross Movie Reviews #458

 

The Happytime Murders (On Demand) – In a world where puppets and humans exist together a private eye who happens to be a puppet and a former cop gets a case from a sexy young lady puppet. The case isn’t open and shut as he likes as someone is killing all the puppets involved with a very popular kids show from the 90s. The private eye finds himself soon teamed up with his ex-partner, a human trying to solve the mystery of who is the killer? Lots of adult humor, the puppets looked great, and a cool buddy cop flick of sorts. This wasn’t as much as “Meet the Feebles” as I thought it would be so good for them. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it but worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Upgrade (On Demand) – This should have been the “Robocop” remake! A mechanic named Grey rebuilds a classic Trans-Am in the near future for a super-rich computer whiz. After Grey and his wife begin driving home from dropping the car off they are in a bad car accident and his wife is killed by some thugs. Grey is paralyzed, but is given the chance to try an experimental computer chip that should restore all feeling back to his limbs and help him move again. Grey agrees and has implanted into his spine and STEM the computer chip almost works immediately. But Stem also thinks and talks for itself and decides to start talking Grey and help him find his wife’s killers. Grey unsure at first slowly allows STEM to show him he is quicker, smarter, better now. Grey uses his paralyzed status to track down all involved without being detected as a suspect. Once Grey goes down this wormhole with STEM there is very cool twists in the plot that make the movie a must rewatch several times. Plus I believe the plot hits on a nerve of this not too distant future could be very real sooner than we think? This action flick is absolutely amazing as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hotel Artemis (On Demand) – A weirdo flick set in the not so distant future of 2028 where Jodie Foster is a manager/doctor to a hotel or safe house for criminals. Criminals pay big bucks for these certain safe houses all over the world if by some chance they are injured in some way. If you do not have a membership you are thrown out on your ass. Foster’s character is a shut-in who has lots of anxiety and hasn’t the outside world in a couple decades. But it all goes to shit when the big boss comes to be fixed up and there is an assassin there inside the hotel to take him out. This flick is one of those check your brain at the door and just enjoy the entertainment. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

You Might be the Killer (DVD) – This is one those slasher flicks that doesn’t overthink the plot and just has a lot of fun with what it is. Sam is a good dude who once a year takes time away from his business and goes off the grid for a weekend. He goes to a camp with a bunch of friends and just has wholesome camp fun. But a big problem arises when he is calling his best friend Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) because he believes a psycho killer has killed all the campers and now is stalking him? They go through all the movie clichés until Sam remembers at some point the story about a cursed mask being at a dead tree was actually real and he put the mask on. When he has the mask on he is an unstoppable killer who slaughters his friends in many brutal ways. When the mask is off he doesn’t recall anything and believes he is being stalked also. I loved watching this bloody flick that never took itself serious and delivered the goods on just being a fun horror flick to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Commando Ninja (YouTube) – This absolute 4 star gem is from the mind Ben Combes. Ben decided to kickstart his love letter of a movie to 80s action movie genre. This film combines at least 20 different action film ideas into one movie. The film begins with a flashback of 1968 Vietnam where a recon team led by John Hunter is ambushed by ninjas with Predator vision. Then the story flashes forward to 1986 where John Hunter is approached by an old Green Beret vet to let him know the evil ninjas are back and John’s daughter gets kidnapped by these evil creatures. From there it flashes back and forth between 1968 and 1986 showing where John got his ninja training and how he tracks down the evil ninjas that took his daughter. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous he has to time travel to the future in 1998 to get her back. Before I forget there are also dinosaurs and cyborgs in this film and the Trans-am in 1998 like the one in “Smokey in the Bandit”. This is a must own for any 80s action film lover as it leaves no stone unturned bringing its brilliant story to life. I give this project 4 stars and a front runner for one of the best films I have watched in 2019.

 

Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend (DVD) – The film opens of course stating that it was based on true events. Sheriff Bailey has a situation on her hands as bodies are piling up in the woods and news wants to know what is going on. So she calls in the only local Federal Bigfoot Investigator she knows to help her track it down and stop it. But a former child star Jimmy Johnson of ‘Kung-fu Kid’ has plans of his own of going into the woods and challenging Bigfoot to a fight and getting it on film. Thus the event should thrust him back into Hollywood stardom. A hilarious but bad film about a Bigfoot that growls like a poodle when attacking and I am damn glad to own it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. More info on the film can be found at www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

Project: Eugenics (DVD) – A bad end of the world zombie film with not many zombies and is to be continued at the end of the film. The premise is a corporation called Eugenics wants to experiment on millions of citizens to see if a zombie vaccine works and they get all the profit. I give it 1 star.

 

Over the Edge (DVD) – A 1979 film that was based on a true event involving unruly teenagers and a Midwest community in the mid-70s. With the cities becoming overrun with crime and drugs, many families began to move out to rural areas where communities where were being built for people trying to escape the city life. Or what would become known eventually as the suburbs. This community of New Granada is supposed to be a wonderful place for families but a lot of their population is teenagers with nothing to do except for one rec center for entertainment. When a piece of land is no longer going to be a drive-in and bowling alley and going to have office space built on it the young people get upset. On top of that a rogue cop closes down the rec center soon things get out of control between the young people, the adults, and the cop. The film is watchable and stars a young Matt Dillon but doesn’t really have a character you really connect or root for. There are several other films of the early 80s that make this formula work better on film as I give the cautious tale of “Parents talk to your kids” 2 stars.

 

Den of Thieves (On Demand) – A wild action/crime flick where a crew of bank robbers try to pull off one of the biggest heists of the century and must deal with a L.A. sheriff that doesn’t always play by the rules. The crew is led by a man named Merrimen who been imprisoned for the past decade and use that time to plan a heist at the Federal Bank Reserve. Meanwhile the sheriff played by Gerard Butler knows Merrimen has something planned but always seems to be one step behind. A way better heist flick than you would ever believe so give it a chance as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation (DVD) – A wonderful documentary documenting how this rating came in existence in Hong Kong cinema and how it has changed after 1997. A good bit of Hong Kong’s popular films took advantage of this rating and produced some of the greatest over the top films the world ever seen. Its peak existence was between the years 1988-1997 and they explained what led to the rating being made and what happened to Hong Kong cinema after China took control again in 1997. Very interesting stories behind Hong Kong cinema and some of the titles I have watched or heard over the years while searching for movies in video stores. I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD) – The title says it all as there really isn’t much to the plot except nuns being made to make drugs for bikers who work for the Catholic Church. Then the drugs are sold everywhere. When Sister Sarah is pimped out and pumped full of drugs she is saved by a so-called witch doctor. Sister Sarah in the drugged out dreamland receives a message from god to kill all that are involved with the drug trade. So becomes the nun vigilante that cannot be stopped as she massacres everyone for what they did to her. Fun B-movie crap that has big boobs, bullets, and lots of blood as I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

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Grossfest is looking for Vendors!

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With the holidays over and the new year underway, why not get involved with a great up and coming independent horror convention, GROSSFEST! Saturday, July 20th, 2019

With our first year being a big success and vendor spaces selling out quickly, we have changed to a new location and are able to add more vendors! Located at
Doubletree hotel
340 racetrack road
Washington pa 15301

If interested please email us grossfest@gmail.com
Tables are only $50!

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest

 

Don’t forget if you are a filmmaker contact me about getting your film to our Grossfest contest?

Check out what Terror Films is releasing next month!

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Los Angeles, CA – (Friday, September 28, 2018) – TERROR FILMS is set to release a new horror film every Friday in the month of October, in a special promotion aptly titled, FREAKY FRIDAYS! Each week a new film will be released in North America exclusively on Amazon Prime. An expanded release will follow on November 9th across multiple digital platforms including: iTunes, Vudu and Tubi TV; additional platforms will be added at a later date.

 

Check out the line-up below, including release dates and the official posters and trailers!

THE CHAIR – FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2018

First up from TERROR FILMS is THE CHAIR. Based on the Alterna Comics graphic novel of the same name, THE CHAIR follows the story of Richard Sullivan. Sullivan is a man on death row, struggling to escape a grisly fate. Pitted against a sadistic Warden and his crew of cruel prison guards, Sullivan is forced to confront his own horrifying past as he questions his own sanity.

The film, which has been well received at film festivals, has a stellar cast. THE CHAIR stars: Naomi Grossman (American Horror Story), Zach Galligan (Gremlins), Noah Hathaway (The NeverEnding Story), Emmy Award Winning actor Bill Oberst Jr. and Roddy “Rowdy” Piper – in his final on-screen performance.

To learn more about THE CHAIR: https://www.thechairhorror.com

Or at: https://www.facebook.com/thechairhorror/


FURRY NIGHTS – FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2018

Initially self-released on a smaller scale in late 2016, TERROR FILMS has joined forces with Cyfuno Ventures and Director J. Zachary Thurman to release FURRY NIGHTS, on multiple digital platforms.

This film centers around a group of teens. They venture into the woods for a camping trip. When one of them accidentally mistakes a furry for a bear and tragically shoots him, the teens soon find themselves under a full scale and brutal attack led by the unforgiving Mr. Fox and his furry friends. Can the teens survive the revenge of the Furries?

To learn more about FURRY NIGHTS: http://furrynights.com

Or here: https://www.facebook.com/FURRYNIGHTSTHEMOVIE/

 

FLESH BLANKET – FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2018 

What began as a cutting-edge documentary meant to celebrate freedom of speech goes completely off the rails and turns into a big fat nightmare. This film will leave you hungry for seconds. FLESH BLANKET literally smothers you with terror and has been hailed as “possibly the best found-footage horror film ever!” Barnes Graham directs and stars in a true original horror film that completely revamps the mockumentary genre.

FLESH BLANKET stars late comedian Ramsey Moore in his final, award winning on-screen performance. The cast also includes an ensemble of unsuspecting actors and notorious comedians . The cast includes Kato Kaelin, Christina DeRosa, Randall Reeder and even Todd Rex.

FLESH BLANKET takes a very dark turn. The morbidly obese Moore becomes increasingly angry at his cast, which is not taking the film seriously. Ramsey soon begins a descent into madness. Losing his mind, Ramsey’s disdain for his comrades and twisted obsession with women leads him on one humongous killing spree, no one will ever forget!.

To learn more about FLESH BLANKET visit: https://www.fleshblanket.com

Or here: https://www.facebook.com/fleshblanket/

WHAT THE WATERS LEFT BEHIND – FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2018 

Ending the promotion is the award-winning film, WHAT THE WATERS LEFT BEHIND. This film made its World Premiere at the prestigious SITGES Film Festival, where directors (and Brothers) Luciano and Nicolas Onetti, took home the BEST PROMISING DIRECTOR’S AWARD. Since then, the film has garnered multiple awards and was released theatrically in Argentina’. Also, the film was picked up by Netflix for Latin America and the official trailer have garnered over 14 million views.

TERROR FILMS acquired North America rights on the film. WHAT THE WATERS LEFT BEHIND centers around Epecuén, one of the most important touristic villages of Argentina. Here, thousands of people would visit, attracted by the healing properties of its thermal waters. On November 10th 1985, a huge volume of water broke the protecting embankment and the village was submerged under ten meters of salt water. Thirty years later, the waters have receded exposing a bleak and deserted landscape. The residents never returned. However, a group of young filmmakers embark upon the ruins in order to film a documentary. Ignoring the warnings, they find themselves stranded in the abandoned village. Contrary to what they thought, they soon realize that they are not alone.

More on WHAT THE WATERS LEFT BEHIND, visit: http://black-mandala.com/what-the-waters-left-behind/

To learn more about Terror Films, visit: http://www.terrorfilms.net/

Or: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/  

An American Werewolf in Wisconsin

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The Bray Road Beast roars to life in the first full trailer for new film from Small Town Monsters

In 1989 a country road outside of the Wisconsin town of Elkhorn became the center of a media frenzy unlike anything the world had ever seen. “People were seeing, what looked to them, like a werewolf…” said Linda Godfrey the newspaper reporter who brought the story to light in a local publication called “The Week”. In fact, many people -locals and out-of-towners alike- had sightings and encounters with the creature that came to be known as The Beast of Bray Road. Many of these sightings were largely ignored or under-reported… that is, until October 5th when the new documentary film, The Bray Road Beast will unlock decades of history relating to “werewolf” sightings around the US.

 

The film explores not only the infamous Elkhorn creature sightings but also centuries of Werewolf legends and myths from across the globe. From the predominant theory that witnesses merely saw an undiscovered species of large wolves to more bizarre aspects of the phenomena, no stone is left unturned in this 66 minute film, shot on location in and around Wisconsin. The seventh film from award-winning filmmaker, Seth Breedlove, arrives on streaming platforms and DVD.

 

The film captures the sighting stories of real eyewitnesses, investigators,  and historians to tell the centuries-worth of history surrounding one of the world’s oldest myths… and it’s possible roots in reality. Today, the second trailer for the film has been unveiled. Delving quickly into the frightening nature of the early sightings, while hinting at their possible supernatural origins, the trailer looks to introduce audiences to what will likely be their first brush with Canid cryptids. The Bray Road Beast will have a special sneak-preview screening at HorrorHound Indianapolis on Saturday, August 25th far ahead of it’s official release on October 5th.

 

The Bray Road Beast reunites the Small Town Monsters crew of director, Seth Breedlove, cinematographer, Zac Palmisano, sound designer, Jason Utes, and composers Brandon Dalo (The Mothman of Point Pleasant) and Chris Dudley (Underoath) with author and musician, Lyle Blackburn who will narrate the film. Blackburn previously narrated the Small Town Monsters productions, The Mothman of Point Pleasant and Boggy Creek Monster. Mark Matzke co-writes while Adrienne Breedlove acts as a producer. The titular “beast” will appear onscreen in dramatic, animated sequences, as well as live-action recreations with a number of different creature designs by Chris Scalf and Santino Vitale.

 

Trailer Link: https://youtu.be/KNP9b0qjQws

HELL HOUSE LLC II –THE ABADDON HOTEL Holds the Key in this Debut Trailer and Early Poster!

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Los Angeles, CA (August 8th, 2018) – After the overwhelming success of HELL HOUSE LLC since its release in 2016, fans have been clamoring to know if and when writer and director Stephen Cognetti would be following up this critically acclaimed found footage horror film with a sequel, this September. Now, here it is – HELL HOUSE LLC II –THE ABADDON HOTEL.

 

The sequel picks up eight years since the opening night tragedy of HELL HOUSE LLC; still many unanswered questions remain. Thanks to an anonymous tip, an investigative journalist is convinced that key evidence is hidden inside the abandoned Abaddon Hotel. This evidence that will shed light on: the hotel’s mysteries, many unsolved deaths and disappearances.

 

Journalist Jessica Fox (Jillian Geurts) assembles a team to break into the hotel in hopes of discovering the truth. But the source of the tip and the secrets of the Abaddon Hotel are more horrifying than any of them could have imagined.

 

Director Cognetti had something to say of the sequel. On the original and this follow-up: “I made this film with the fans in mind in hopes that it would answer questions from the original while deepening the overall story.” A few loose plot twists will be tied up this September 14th, when the film is released on Digital platforms.

 

The film’s first official trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZRb60THkwg

 

As well, HELL HOUSE LLC II – THE ABADDON HOTEL is set for a limited digital release in September. This horrifying title will be available on: iTunes and Amazon Instant Video. On these platforms, Hell House LLC II will show: in the U.S., Canada, the U.K. and Ireland! Also, a wider Digital release will follow at a later date and will include: VUDU, Tubi TV, Roku, iFlix and more.

 

Check out the Official Trailer and Poster for HELL HOUSE LLC II – THE ABADDON HOTEL from Terror Films – right now!

 

More details on the film series at: https://www.facebook.com/HellHouseLLC/

 

TERROR FILMS is available, with more info’:

 

https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

First look at Jared Masters’ mannequin movie ‘Agalmatophilia’

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The official trailer is here! Agalmatophilia (pronounced A-GAL-MATTO-PHILIA, is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin) is the story of Guy Talbot, an isolated workaholic who seeks a secretary to help manage his life and business. He hires his first applicant, Iesha Stayput, who oddly enough appears to be a living, breathing mannequin. She aides him in business affairs, slowly but surely, but her professionalism quickly becomes secondary to Guy’s ulterior motives… Complicating matters is his vivacious client, Veronique, who swoons over Guy, perhaps as a curiously, frustrated about his lack of interest in her and obvious growing obsession with his new co-worker, who may or may not be little more than a twisted fantasy, forced into fruition. Can Guy find happiness with a moving, speaking mannequin, or will he finally fall for Veronique, who may have an odd obsession of her own?

 

Jared Masters stars in his feature film debut in a leading role. Co-starring Brittany Ballantyne as Veronique and the voice of Iesha Stayput, the lovely new secretary Guy Talbot (Jared Masters) hires and falls in love with. He won’t let the fact that she’s a mannequin ruin the future he sees with her. This new dark comedy is a ambitious and controversial experiment in the human psyche. Can a grown man truly love an inanimate semi-lifelike human figure?

 

Since the dawn of time, man has had much trouble resisting the urge to assimilate and ascertain the opposite sex. Michelangelo, with his hammer he chiseled, “Eros.” Thousands of miles away in the South Pacific, pirates looted their way past Scylla and Charybdis in awe. For perhaps like Michelangelo, she was the only essence of Venus, or, simply the most lovely. Frolic Pictures brings you, the Sultan of Sensationalism: Jared Masters, opening the door, baring it all, exposing (in exquisite detail) the deepest nooks and crannies of his own, personal agalmatophiliac issues.

 

It will be Masters’ first leading role, in his thirteenth feature film, Agalmatophilia, as the lonely, psychotic desk clerk, Guy Talbot. The debutante director of the film, Brittany Ballantyne, stars as the elusive dream creature, Iesha Stayput, the first and only woman to puncture Guy Talbot’s fantasy.Brittany also plays the role of the effervescent flirt candy, Veronique. If your heart can stand the electric shock: the bruised, brooding illusion of the nouveau cinematic movement. Revolutionized by the pair under the name: ANTI – CINEMA. What is ANTI – CINEMA? Where can I get it? Does it fit in a size seven shoe? Set in the bleak tomorrow’s terror, future-retro-istic, soon becoming plastic civilization. ANTI – CINEMA takes everything you know about motion pictures and throws it off the rooftop onto the boulevard. It will tarnish every silver screen from here to Timbuktu. ANTI – CINEMA, the revelation, the epiphany, the answer to today’s HD, HI-FI, mass exploitation, brain-dead society, is brought to you live from Los Angeles by Hollywood’s only hope, Jared Masters.

 

Bridging the gap between fantasy and reality, Agalmatophilia, is closing in on the end of production.Expect nothing less from the Prince of Horror Erotica in Agalmatophilia. Raw and punchy. Dryly humorous. Fun and exciting. An exposé on the life of a man with a certain je-ne-sais-quoi-pas, extreme definite taste, and a lust for love. Iesha and Veronique are part of maniac Guy Talbot’s moonstruck love triangle. Explore the possibilities in 2018’s wildest screen wonder Agalmatophilia.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlnLqaa7sE

 

Gross Movie Reviews #444

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Gross Movie Reviews #444

 

He Knows You’re Alone (DVD) – Here is a little lost slasher from 1980 that has an early appearance from Tom Hanks and just recently got the DVD/Blu-ray treatment. A young lady’s parents go out of town for the week and she is in the process of getting married. She might be having second thoughts now her fiancée has taken the scouts camping and the ex is shooting hard for her. But unbeknownst to her there is a serial killer on the loose who is killing women who are about to be married. Never mind how he knows, he is a movie serial killer of course he knows. But he stalks her throughout the film and kills all around her. For me it was a first time watch and definitely good enough to revisit again someday as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ninja Demon Massacre (VHS/DVD-R) – Now, you most likely believe I made this up? It is real folks I assure you that. In 1988, ninjas must be hurting for business as in Hong Kong they start selling foreign secrets. So of course some dubbed U.S. actors/authorities get involved and send in a secret agent or two to stop this from happening. There is no demon which was kind of disappointing and not much ninja action. But it did have ‘massacre’ in the title so of course I sat down to watch it… once… I give it maybe 1 star, maybe 2 stars for stealing the music from the Gene Simmons flick “Runaway”.

She Was So Pretty (DVD) – Alfred or Alfie as he is known in the film is out looking for the perfect woman/victim. He finds it in a woman named Valerie who tells friends she hasn’t felt like herself for about year now. It’s like someone is watching her which of course Alfie is. But in Alfie’s spare time he brutalizes other women. When Valerie heads to the woods with some friends for some vacation time Alfie takes this time to kidnap her and take Valerie home to watch some “Casper”. The weirdness only adds to the suspense and sleaze of the flick as Alfie doesn’t have a whole lot to say, he just does things. When the local park ranger/cop is called in and does his so-called investigation he finds Alfie and in a strange plot twist joins in on the brutal fun. I like the weirdness of this serial killer flick as it stands out from most but the only downfall to me at least was the film doesn’t exactly have an ending. Whether you like or not it is something you don’t see very often in independent film so you get kudos for that. But good news horror kids there is a sequel in the works as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.shewassopretty.com .

 

You’re So Cool, Brewster! The Story of Fright Night (DVD) – This is literally the most in-depth documentary you could watch on the making of this fun classic horror film. The documentary covers nearly 2 ½ hours of your time watching as it dips into everything and anything you could want to know about the famous 1985 vampire flick. The only issue I had with the documentary was the running time and it spending about 60 seconds on the sequel and nothing said about the rumored third film that was being pitched around Hollywood in 1990? But it got everything it could into this flick and most fans will be happy with it. So kick up your feet and enjoy inside story of “Fright Night” as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Massacre at Rocky Ridge (DVD) – A real dumpster fire of a no-budget film that has CITs (Counselors in Training) taken out in the woods for the yearly training. Mainly because they couldn’t afford a movie set with cabins so it is just tents. Once there some boring dialogue takes place, the gratuitous girl on girl scene, and people dying at the hands of a masked killer in a robe. This one is so bad or I just made up another “massacre” movie that it doesn’t have an IMDB page but can be bought for $29.95 on a website if you search hard enough. For that I give it a ½ star.

 

Meathook Massacre (DVD) – A woman and her two friends set out on a trip to a concert in Nebraska. But first she has to watch entire rock video just like “Killer Party” but nowhere near as good! Car runs out of gas on a lonely dirt road and one of them gets out going to look for help. She comes across a small weird farmhouse where a masked killer lives and likes to chase his victims with a meathook. For a sixty minute movie there was way too much talking and not enough killing as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Meathook Massacre 2 (DVD) – Ten years have gone by since that faithful day of those horrific events. But the meathook murders have popped up again in the news and a man whose twin sister was a victim of Bubba is hell-bent on finding this sadistic killer. Not many meathooks in this flick but with a few more dollars in the budget compared to the first flick the filmmaker decided to do a no-budget jam of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3. There was a little more killing going on this flick so I give it 1 ½ out 4 stars.

 

The Quiet Earth (DVD) – A 1985 sci-fi flick from New Zealand where a world one morning basically stopped and there was possibly only one survivor. The first thing you see besides the sun rising is a dude named Zac and his hairy dong getting out of bed. As he drives into work he notices something weird, everyone is gone. For whatever reason all the people are all gone. Once Zac is done losing his mind for several days he gets his shit together and goes on the road to find someone, anyone. Along the way he finds a woman and another man. Over dinner they discuss what actually happen and they figure out “The Effect” kept them on earth for some reason. But after more discussion they figure out they all died at the exact moment when “The Effect” happened. “The Effect” as we learn could have been produced by an experiment from Zac’s company that was helped by the government. Soon Zac figures out the sun is soon to collapse and then there is no earth so they come up with a plan to blow up Zac’s company to shutdown “The Effect”. The ending is real weird as you are not totally sure what happened or what didn’t but glad I watched this post-apocalyptic flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Blood Massacre (DVD) – A Don Dohler flick that was actually made in 1987 but never released until 1991 under some shady dealings that did make Don Dohler happy at all. Great stuff to read up on before watching the flick. Four thugs go rob a video store only to shoot a clerk there while getting away with the money. On the run their car breaks down and forces them to find other transportation. A woman named Elizabeth Parker picks them up and now hostage takes them to her family farm where the four thugs are going to rob them blind and eat before moving on. Soon the armed thugs are surprised that his family isn’t your typical family as they like flesh and slaughtering humans. A little icing on the cake is near the end of the film one of the thugs Rizzo gets away and prepares the woods like Rambo to fuck the family up only to find out they are not just cannibals… Love it, fun stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

Burlesque Massacre (DVD) – A wanna be porn film that is a poor excuse for a horror film. The flick centers on a killer brother and sister combo that believe “incest is best”. The sister brings her burlesque troop to her brother’s house for a vacation weekend but instead they get killed after showing lots of tits and ass. There is more sex than killing and probably should have just sold out and became full blown porn just for entertainment sake. But whatever again it had “massacre” in the title and I give it 0 stars because I had to watch it.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Trailer debut for indie horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY

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(Let me just say this dude I will be tracking down to ask about Grossfest 2019)

 

Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W_D_pkoOmQ&feature=youtu.be

Quick Info:

Dustin Mills Productions, the production house that brought you THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE and EASTER CASKET, is proud to present the trailer debut for their upcoming horror extravaganza SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY. This is DMP’s most ambitious project yet, with a cast of both new and familiar faces and incredible makeup and effects by Marcus Koch (MOHAWK, WE ARE STILL HERE, the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series) and Dustin Mills himself. DMP is running a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter from July 8th through August 7th, and backers get immediate access to the full uncensored proof-of-concept trailer.

 

Synopsis:

A group of gorgeous gal pals are horrified when one of their friends dies in a tragic naked pillow fight accident during their annual Slumber Party. Fearing legal repercussions, the ladies dump her body in a swamp and forge a runaway letter. Years later, the girls reunite to boob it up one more time with a saucy Slumber Party for the ages, only to have their party pooped by the vengeful spirit of their dear departed friend. Trapped by magic, surrounded by evil, and very underdressed, will they survive the night? Or will this Slumber Party become a Slaughterhouse?

 

Cast (alphabetical, with IMDB links):

Brittany Blanton (DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS, KILL DOLLY KILL)

Joni Durian (HAUNTED HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW, HER NAME WAS TORMENT 2)

Kayla Elizabeth (BLOOD RITUAL, DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS 2)

Ariel Jarchow (JUST YOUR AVERAGE HALLOWEEN PARTY)

Roni Jonah (HI-8, VOLUMES OF BLOOD)

  1. Ania Lupa(HORNDOGS BEACH PARTY)

Haley Jay Madison (HUNTERS, HEADLESS, IN MEMORY OF)

Eve Moreau (Feature debut)

Kenzie Phillips (DESCENDING, NIGHTFALL)

Erin R. Ryan (BABYSITTER MASSACRE, APPLECART, DEVIL’S TRAIL)

Melissa Sue Zahs 

 

Crew (with IMDB links): Writer/Director: Dustin Wayde Mills

Assistant Director – Virginia Leigh 

Special FX – Marcus Koch

Makeup – Brittany Bailey

 

Trailer link (censored version & pitch video):

https://youtu.be/7W_D_pkoOmQ

 

Kickstarter link:

www.slaughterhouseslumber.party

 

Social media:

instagram.com/dustin.w.mills

twitter.com/puppetmassacre

 

Expanded Info:

Dustin Mills Productions, the production house that brought you THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE and EASTER CASKET, is proud to present the trailer debut for their upcoming horror extravaganza SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY. This is DMP’s most ambitious project yet, with a cast of both new and familiar faces and incredible makeup and effects by Marcus Koch (MOHAWK, WE ARE STILL HERE, the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series) and Dustin Mills himself. DMP is running a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter from July 8th through August 7th, and backers get immediate access to the full uncensored proof-of-concept trailer.

 

The trailer was shot by Mills and the cast over the course of a weekend with everyone volunteering their time, a testament both to everyone’s excitement about the potential of the project and the insane pace at which Mills works. SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY merges influences from classic cult horror movies like SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE and HARD TO DIE to colorful supernatural comedies like GHOSTBUSTERS and BEETLEJUICE with a faux-documentary approach à la WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS. The resulting concept trailer alone would be off the charts on Joe Bob Briggs’s “high points,” packed as it is with nude women and copious gore. The film’s comic asides set SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY apart from an independent horror landscape overflowing with self-serious, mean-spirited slashers and samey zombie movies.

 

For the proposed feature, Mills is joining forces once again with effects wizard Marcus Koch. Koch has an impressive track record providing effects work in dozens of films ranging from projects like MOHAWK and WE ARE STILL HERE to extreme underground horror in the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series and Mills’s HER NAME WAS TORMENT films. The film’s cast consists largely of faces familiar to indie horror fans including Brittany Blanton (DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS, KILL DOLLY KILL), Joni Durian (HAUNTED HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW, HER NAME WAS TORMENT 2), Kayla Elizabeth (BLOOD RITUAL, DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS 2), Roni Jonah (HI-8, VOLUMES OF BLOOD), Haley Jay Madison (HEADLESS, HUNTERS, IN MEMORY OF), and Erin R. Ryan (BABYSITTER MASSACRE, APPLECART, DEVIL’S TRAIL).

 

Since releasing his debut feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE in 2010, Dustin Wayde Mills has directed over a dozen feature films ranging from the Troma-esque insanity of EASTER CASKET to bleak extreme horror in the HER NAME WAS TORMENT films and even some more family-friendly genre fare with HALLOWEEN SPOOKIES. He has also worked on visual effects and makeup for films such as SUPER TASK FORCE ONE, HARVEST LAKE, SPACE BABES FROM OUTER SPACE, and HOVER in addition to his own films. SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY is by far Mills’s most ambitious single feature project to date, melding a wide array of his influences and interests into one wildly over-the-top comedic thrill ride. 

Trailer debut for indie horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY

TERROR FILMS Presents Jon Bristol’s Puppet Horror Film HEAD!?

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Los Angeles, CA (Tuesday, June 26th) – TERROR FILMS has managed to bring horror fans everything under the sun. Ghosts, demons, killers and creatures of all shapes and sizes have been shown by this distributor. Their newest acquisition is set for release on Friday the 13th (July 13th, 2018). This genre distributor will bring you the most risquee in puppet horror, Jon Bristol’s HEAD!

HEAD is everything you could want and more in a horror film. It’s an ode to 80’s horror flicks about a group of twenty-somethings on a camping trip. There are hot chicks, sex in tents, a serial killer chopping off heads and victims tied up in trees. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah – all of the characters are puppets!

 

Unlike the soon to be released Happy Time Murders, there are no signs of humans in HEAD, only puppets. Walking, talking, sex having, shit talking puppets – one by one, they are being murdered by a crazed killer. And as the tag line in the official poster and trailer for HEAD proclaims – “Ain’t Nothing Happy About Dead Puppets.”

 

The film has created quite a buzz on the film festival circuit. From the creative team at Elmwood Productions, HEAD has hit the festival scene back in 2015. HEAD started racking up official selections and multiple festival prizes over the next couple of years including appearances at: LEAFF, Yellow Fever Film Festival, Fantastic Horror Film Festival, Hong Kong Art House Film Festival, Legless Corpse Film Festival, Live Free or Die, Madhouse Movies, Manhattan Independent, Zed Fest, Fear NYC and the Horror Film Fest in Puerto Rico. HEAD has travelled the world.

 

This title was developed by a creative team of filmmakers. The film was directed by Jon Bristol, who also penned the script with J.R. Calvo and Brian Woodman. As well, the film was produced by Rick Passmore. And, the film features the voice talents of: Bristol, Manda Vasas, Nick Foreman, Mike Finland, Sally Arlette Garcia and Ben Farley.  Chris Gierowski executive produced this feature.

 

Terror Films will launch the film on several Digital platforms. Platforms hosting the film’s launch include: Amazon Prime, iTunes, VUDU and Tubi TV. The release will be available  in North America, as well as over 40 english speaking countries. Additional Digital platforms will follow, along with a DVD release, at a later date.

 

In the meantime, readers can check out the official trailer and poster for HEAD, along with a few fun stills here!

 

The official trailer for HEAD: https://youtu.be/kzo_NsU6eD4

 

The film’s official website:  http://head-horror.blogspot.com

 

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/headhorror/

 

For more information on TERROR FILMS, visit: www.terrorfilms.net

 

And here: www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

Gross Movie Reviews #440

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Gross Movie Reviews #440

 

The Mole People (DVD) – After an earthquake shakes things up for archeologists as they find an opening in some ruins that leads to a secret underground city. The city had been shut off from humanity for thousands of years after a similar earthquake and believes the daylight kills them. If that wasn’t enough they enslaved Mole creatures to do their bidding of digging up mushrooms. A fun 50s ‘Creature Feature’ well worth checking out again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre (DVD) – Before you get on your soapbox to bitch about the title, the film was released in 2000 and that is about all I will do to defend this turd. Well maybe defend Debbie Rochon also but I am sure she may regret being a part of this project? A group of strippers decide it’s time for a vacation so they head to a beach house in the middle of a hurricane. And then just non-sense happens with Mr. Creepo. Before I forget Debbie Rochon plays part stripper/part psychic, it does make some kind of weird sense if you pay attention to the film? But bottom line ‘massacre film’ fans no one dies until an hour in and it’s pretty lame so for that I just give it a ½ star.

Paranoia Tapes (Vimeo/DVD) – A recent independent project where a man finds films, clips, random VHS tapes, of murders, interviews, confessions, etc. He uploads them to the internet in hopes of other people watching them and being just as scared as he is. The film comes off as some sort of ‘Found Footage’ film. But saying that I am not sure that is what the film can be classified as that? In an age of where kids now watch other people play video games on YouTube that is what this flick reminded me of. Right or wrong this movie is not meant for me as much as maybe the “Paranormal Activity” kids and for that I give it 1 out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/paranoiatapes/?ref=br_rs

 

Paranoia Tapes 2: Press Play (Vimeo/DVD) – So the sequel picks up with several filmmakers contributing again to the project. But what makes this venture a little different is that it looks a little more polished. But again movie clips, possible real footage, police footage, you be the judge is being uploaded to the internet by a guy named Chase. Chase is going somewhat insane because there is this Henry dude that keeps sending him these videos and clips. There is more violence, murder, but also it seems more of a coherent film that is like a blend of “Grave Encounters” and “V/H/S” on the low budget independent level. Again this type of project isn’t for me but easily can see the younger crowd really enjoying this film for what it really is. For that I give it 2 out 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/PT2PRESSPLAY/

 

Siren (YouTube/DVD) – Another found footage flick from the same people who did “Paranoia Tapes” where a few years back some teenagers go missing in Kansas. They decide to do a film project for school over the holiday break that involves some kids supposedly living out in the woods. An urban myth of sorts, they want to debunk it if true interview them and get the story of why they are out there? They head to the woods to find the ‘Fender Children’. Goal is to get some footage, but a weird thing happens, and then when they are checking out the footage later and they are murdered. Most of it being filmed and the USB drive shows up at a police station a few months later. Feels like a blend of “The Blair Witch Project” and “Area 51” if you are a fan of ‘found footage’ flicks as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info:     https://www.facebook.com/Southernsykosproductions/

 

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection (DVD) – Another remake, reboot, re-whatever you wanna call this horseshit from the UK where they thought it was a good idea. There are zombies but also apparently the kids don’t care so they began to kill people also for fun. Another sad attempt to cash in on the title and the film company that released it should not be allowed to exist. ACTUALLY COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS AND STOP SUCKING! This is the kinda of crap that gives horror movies and legit filmmakers Indy or big budget a bad name. It is best you avoid and move on without ever watching this turd. Live this crap for me to witness and take the abuse as I give it 0 stars.

 

Bikini Party Massacre (DVD) – A little slasher film from 2002 with a little twist were you get to see lots of boobs! Six people head out to the woods for a weekend of fun and of course run out of gas. Of course the female version of ‘Crazy Ralph’ shows up to help out with the gas issue and the group to move on. After some partying, boobs, and weird dreams you learn there is a psycho among them. Weird thing is no of them exist except him… Weird and maybe a better film than it ever deserves to be but it was on my ‘massacre list’ so I was going to watch it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Twilight People (DVD) – An early 70s Philippines flick that help start Pam Grier’s career that is like a cheaper “Island of Dr. Moreau”. The effects are not great but the passion for filmmaking is and this flick has a scientist kidnapping people to experiment on. Tis scientist is looking for the perfect human to test his theory of humans needing to evolve for what is coming in the future. Pam Grier as a ‘Panther Woman’, a weird dude as a winged mutant, there should have been six sequels to this flick especially with Corman’s company helping. I give it 3 stars.

 

Cyber Ninja (VHS) – A late 80’s Asian flick that pits Human Ninjas vs. Demon Robots or Mecha Ninjas. After the great wars a cyber-ninja is born from an experiment by the dark overlord who stole a great ninja’s soul to place in a Mecha Ninja and makes it an unstoppable warrior. Crazy special effects are the highlight of this ninja flick that also predates the “Power Rangers” and features ‘Voltron’ sound effects. The Mecha Ninja is torn on helping the humans but believes it is his only chance to regain his body again. The film is a fun crazy mess if you are a fan of stuff like “The Guyver”. ‘Cyber Ninja’ is a well worth find out there that I haven’t heard much about but after watching it I give it 3 stars.

 

Mad-Made Monster (DVD) – So right before “The Wolf Man” Lon Chaney Jr. did a flick where he is experimented on after an accident. He was on a bus with five other people that crashed and the other folks get electrocuted. He survives so a scientist comes to visit him asking if he wants to help with revelation. But his assistant has other plans to use Mr. Chaney as scapegoat to kill people after he turns him into an electrified zombie. Fun black and white horror crap that can be a lot of fun watching with friends. I give it 2 stars.

 

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and his stepson follow a Jules Verne story to find an island where an old Michael Caine has discovered Atlantis. Problem of course the island is sinking back into the ocean and they must find Captain Nemo’s sub in order to survive the ordeal. Bad CGI, overacting by the Rock, and old Michael Caine makes it entertaining enough to get through the flick with my daughter so I can watch real crap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Joel (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent flick that documents the murders of Joel Rifkin. A serial killer who in the Long Island area killed 17 people in a 3 ½ year period (1989-1993) and no one knew until he was pulled over with a dead body in the back of his truck.  According to Joel not only was he a disappointment to his father because of his learning disability but was picked on by other kids. Joel became a loner and was a virgin until he was about to go to college. But that all changed when Joel understood you could pay for sex. Joel constantly blew through his money on hookers. But as that was happening Joel also fantasized about strangling a woman during the sex act. After he did it for the first time he became addicted to it but no one ever noticed because they were hookers. Yeah they made the news but Joel kept going until that faithful night he was caught all because of a license plate. He always believed he could get them to get in a stranger’s car? Never knew about this dude but now I do and the filmmaker did an amazing job of bringing this serial killer to film. And it is kinda creepy how much the actor actually looks like the real killer named Joel Rifkin. Great stuff for horror fans and true crime nuts as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: http://www.joelthemovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!