Tag Archives: Sean Donohue

Gross Movie Reviews #595

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Project Wolf Hunting (On Demand) – Once again Asian horror fucking rocks! This blend of “Con-Air”, “Dead Alive” splatter, with a glass of “The Raid” and “Captain America… sort of” is a Korean flick that has a group of dangerous criminals being transported by ship from the Philippines to South Korea. All the doors have been taken off to the rooms so each convict can be watched by the authorities going along for the ride. Of course there is a plan in place for the convicts to escape but what they are not counting on is the super-secret experiment hanging out in the bottom of the ship that only a doctor who is there for a bundle of cash knows about. This secret is known as “Alpha”! Once the escape and takeover begins it’s a wonderful war between cops and criminals until the “Alpha” has awakened by some human blood dripping down below (believe me just watch because it’s bad ass what happens next). This experiment is awake and pissed off as it is not picking sides. Hell a dude gets beaten with his own arm as this film sports possibly the most gore since “Dead Alive” if not more? Bottom-line: The Alpha doesn’t get old, very hard to kill, and has the strength of five men and he can smell your ass! What turns out from large scale takeover turns to a movie about survival as the movie explains a few things in the second half so stick with it. Most likely there won’t be a bigger splatterfest in 2023 but I was not impressed with the ending and felt it hurts the overall product as I give the film 3 ½ stars.  

The Amityville Quilt Store (YouTube) – Yes indeed kids I have found entry #45 and it’s a short film (thank our lord Rutger Hauer) about two dudes who make the mistake of visiting the Amityville General Store. For one of the unfortunate friends they find out the hard way the antiques there must feed as I give the short film 2 ½ stars.

The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (DVD/YouTube) – The great Karen Black plays your normal housewife of George Hamilton in this 1977 TV movie. Karen’s character is stuck in normalcy until she begins to have dreams and visions of a woman who died a few years back. Without giving too much away as I liked the little twist in this film between Black’s performance and the 45 year old film still having a spooky charm to it this is more than worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Satan Lives! The Rise of the Illuminati Hotties (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue and crew bring together what is supposed to be a lost film that was shot in 1992 by two filmmakers who set to interview and follow the leader of the Satanic church, Richard Lemeau. While gathering info on the satanic leader it’s quickly learned that there are some within the ranks that have their own plans that include world domination. Richard comes off in this documentary lost tape thingy as someone trying to run a legit alternative church but if Patricia’s plan goes off as planned she will be in charge of the Illuminati and the satanic church! This movie swims in the sea of sleaze and fun but has a few flaws such as the stripper dance routine going way too long to possibly pad running time? I did enjoy seeing the Dingo Pizza commercial from Maddie Deering’s “Spirit Animal” flick. So if you are not into films that flirts with the line between good taste and fun sleaze this is most likely not for you but I still give it a solid 2 ½ out of 4 stars for those who are fans of the talented Sean Donohue.

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (DVD) – A 2012 Indy project that begins at Happy Day Bible Camp in 1977 where campers get massacred by a person of the cloth (supposedly) and it stars Tim Sullivan, Ron Jeremy, Jeff Dylan Graham and the great Reggie Bannister. Now seven years later Reggie as Father Cummings and a survivor of the massacre head to the camp for a fun retreat for the parish of young people. Once settled in the campers are again victims of Sister Mary Chopper as the legend goes. The movie has a few hilarious moments for an Indy slasher but this project always makes me wonder if Rick Fusselman would have finished his project “Bible Camp Massacre” which was in pre-production at the same time of this film what would have Indy horror fans preferred? Anyway go check it out as I give it 2 stars.

Robo Vampire 2: Devil’s Dynamite (DVD/YouTube) – More jumping vampires, clumsy ninjas, a rando spacesuit dude that looks like an extra from an early 70s Godzilla film fill up this sequel to one of the more bizarre films I ever watched? All I know everything is Steve Cox’s fault in this film and there is a shadow warrior running around trying to put an end to the evil. But again it is Steve Cox’s fault because of someone’s sister being the “Queen of the Underworld”. If you sense disappointment in my review then you right because they went away from the dude being in an aluminum foil Robo suit and the mechanical noises they make off screen for the suit. Damn pieces of shit ruining a good gimmick as I can only give this 1 star.

Robo Vampire 3: Counter Destroyer (DVD/YouTube) – This time around we get two screenwriters in Cindy and Joyce who want peace at a hideaway in the mountains of China so they can work on this hot project about the “last emperor of China”. While the bumbling duo are busy waking evil spirits up, we got some sketchy mob shit going down between film companies and a woman named Jackie just killing off mob dudes left and right. A weird and confusing movie that eventually brings back the Robo suit but not till late into the second half of this oddity called a film. It was a little better than part 2 as I give it 1 ½ stars but no one near as entertaining as the original “Robo Vampire”.

Nailbiter (DVD) – An early short film from the people of Witch Doctor Films that I have had the pleasure of reviewing several of their projects over the years. This unique group’s early work is about a young woman taking an experimental drug for her cancer and it fails… maybe? Problem, the medical facility covers it up when the angry husband comes sniffing around as he cannot live without his beautiful wife and even consults a magic man he doesn’t believe in. It’s a great chilling and dark Indy tale of when you cannot leave the dead to stay dead. The early work is rough around the edges but you can clearly see the talent is there for the Witch Doctor Films crew as this was a fun ride down the rabbit hole to see their early work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.witchdoctorfilms.com .

Found Footage: The Series (DVD) – A project created by Indy legend Henrique Couto that has eight tales of found footage segments that run from 24 to 27 minutes. The eight stories are about strange occurrences and told uniquely through an influencer’s phone, Skype or Zoom, random camera footage, computer files, damaged hardrives, a RING doorbell, and an old broadcast from 1986 that was never meant to be seen. I am not a huge fan of ‘found footage’ stuff but will say the segment “Ding Dong” had my interest as a)it was told mostly through a RING doorbell on an empty house but also b) the relationship the character develops with the house night after night seeking to burglarize it??? Put it this way I am surprised I haven’t heard more about this project as it seems to fit what society is doing these days as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Homecoming Massacre (DVD/Tubi) – Our story begins with why you shouldn’t have clowns for a kid’s birthday party no matter what… Apparently also dudes don’t dress as the clown and get all rapey with mum? Anyway Jonathan kills both of them and gets put away in various facilities for ten years until a cousin or something of the family, “The Clarks” who have their own issues take him in. Of course things seem good so hey let’s leave our teenagers alone with the crazy murderer who killed his mum n’at ten years ago so the teenagers can have a party. Yep, this makes total sense for a lackluster ‘massacre’ flick that all you need to know its always the clowns fault as I give it 1 star.

Christmassacre (DVD/Tubi) – Which is a horrible title by the way which took me about five minutes to realize this is a movie from a few years back that Wild Eye Releasing renamed from its original title “Secret Santa”. Okay Wild Eye Releasing two things before we move on: first, do not be like some companies (let’s leave them unnamed for now) that rename films to get horror fans especially Indy horror fans to pay twice for the same movie when that is a little unoriginal and boring. Second, “Christmassacre”?! WTF?! What would be so wrong with “Secret Santa Massacre” if you are going that route anyhow? Back on track kids as we have a fun Indy horror flick about some college girls who live off campus and every year have a Secret Santa party after finals. This year someone is taking the Secret Santa thing a little too far as they plan on slaughtering all who is a part of this event? Weird thing about this up and down little horror film is the characters are very likable and actually help slosh through the dull parts of the film. Also pay attention to the cucumber and what happens to it as it has nothing to do with a dude getting his dried sausage of a wiener getting snipped off! Oddly enjoyable as the best thing I can say about this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Pennywise: The Story of IT (DVD/Tubi) – A wonderful documentary that looks back at this two part TV movie that was memorable for the horror fans but also changed the way TV movies were looked upon. If you were around when this was first released or just a nerd of this film before the remake ever existed this is a well worth watch as it does a deep dive into characters, process of it from book to the small screen, and the interviews and stories of behind the scenes stuff that may explain why part two sucked. Yes folks, they spend some time on what went wrong! Great way to waste two hours kids if you are a huge nerd for the film or just a fan of Tim Curry as I give it 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

New episode of Bloodbaths podcast is up kids!

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We have three more flicks to talk about this week.  First Tim picks the remake of the Jamie Lee Curtis 80’s slasher straight from Tubi TERROR TRAIN 2022.  Next we have some naked cannibal campers in NAKED CANNIBAL CAMPERS, and finally we have a movie that Kyle retitled Underground fuck trolls from Detroit in BARBARIAN.  We also read all the news that is fit to speculate on. Answer your listener questions, and run down all your listener questions.  So download this episode or Richard Brake won’t be your neighbor.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #589

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Nutcracker Massacre (Tubi) – A novelist named Clara is heading to her Auntie Marie’s home for the holiday after a break up with her boyfriend. She figures some nostalgia would be good for the soul since she is so down. Along the way she stops at a novelty shop and picks up a gift for the auntie but when unwrapped, it is a sugar plum fairy not the nutcracker she thought she bought. That night the sugar plum fairy magically brings the life-sized nutcracker dude to life that goes on a killing spree for the holiday. This corny UK flick doesn’t make a ton of sense but if you needed a little different holiday slasher then you found the right movie as I give it 2 ½ stars. 

Meathook Massacre: Next Generation (YouTube) – Also known as “Meathook Massacre: Mayhem” has first time filmmaker Timothy Thomas take a stab at the series where apparently Bubba will never die (even though he did in the last entry… completely). This time around Becky a sports journalist becomes the latest victim of Bubba as he stalks her and breaks into her home. After a battle and both wounded (wearing an eye patch) Becky retreats to live with her father but wants to return home and move on. Once she does the notorious killer is back on the prowl for Becky but Becky is packed to the gills with weapons to fight this dude. Becky eventually figures out the meathook is somehow the ‘source of power’ for Bubba and that is how we have another film in this ongoing series as I give this uninteresting sequel 1 star.

The Killing Tree (DVD) – Some of yinz may have seen this under a different title of ‘Demonic Christmas Tree’ recently but anyhow those crazy ass people in the UK are just churning them out as a murderous evil spirit brought back by an evil spell into a killer Christmas tree! This killer a year ago went on a crazy murder spree of killing 12 families on Christmas to spread the message to all that they do not have the Christmas spirit. So of course Clay is back to finish the damn job as an evil Christmas tree! Some of the story is told through flashbacks to explain what is exactly going on but bottom line Clay wants revenge on Faith for everything. The death scenes are bad but we are talking killer Christmas tree movie that is terribly cheesy but will hit the mark for any drunken horror fan that needs their fix during the holiday season as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Thanksgiving (Blu-ray) – So again for all the kids that are counting with me this would be “entry #41” into the Amityville series… and yes this would be 42 now but I do not count the YouTube video “Amityville Gas Chamber” a movie but just an April Fool’s joke to clarify to those who been following this mess? Anyway, apparently a filmmaker decided to set out to make the worst Amityville film in the series and almost succeeded? But then they must not have seen “Mt. Misery Road” or “Vanishing Point”? A holiday entry… sort of, where an old married couple goes to a remote place to hang with their creepy therapist who is trying to bang the wife or just be creepy. Dr. Frank Demonico from Amityville apparently looks for a couple every year to sacrifice for his evil plans until finally after years of this the Amityville authorities have wised up. Just plain dumb, boring, and way too much filler. And the couple people/critics I seen online must likely connected to the film claiming “us viewers don’t understand the plot points”? Honestly, really, actually go look up Steve Rudzinski and see how a real professional would attack or use this series for a project? Or hey you can just fuck off and understand your movie is a pile of elephant dung as I give it 0 stars. But here is the funny part it still ain’t no “Jeepers Creepers Reborn”, so go think on that one.

Kiss of Death Productions Short Films Volume One (DVD) – These are unreleased short films from the vault of legendary independent filmmakers David and Diana Silvio. For years these sat unseen but now the Silvios’ are unleashing their Indy projects onto the world. First up is ‘Hidden Fist II: Satan’s Mob’ where martial arts expert Bill C. Kelley plays Dirk Jones who attempts to fight his way through wannabe gangsters to get to their evil mob boss with his former flame only for the boss to mysteriously disappear. The ending was kind of Scooby-dooish but fun. Second up was the sequel ‘The Hidden Fist III: The Final Thrust’ as I can’t help laughing every time I say the title but that is me and I will always be a teenager. This time Dirk Jones is thrusted into a tangle with another mob (see what I did there?). There is kidnapping, murder, stunts, and much martial arts fighting. Third short film is ‘The Waiting Wolf’ where a supposedly mystery woman seeks out karate master Jack claiming to be stalked by an evil man? After Jack’s assistant is beaten up and goes to have a looksee and Desiree is super happy to see a fight about to go down. But in the end the joke is always going to be on her bitchy ass! As I am sure David would call it “a twisted adult tale”. Plus a fun hidden gem is the promos for ‘Meat for Satan’s Icebox’! As usual fun stuff from this wonderful couple and let’s not forget an entertaining performance from Bill C. Kelley as I give this collection 3 out of 4 stars.  

Le Prix Du Danger (VHS) – A few of yinz may know this 1983 French film as “The Prize of Peril”? Anyway, you remember the film “The Running Man” with Arnold? Well this gritty feature predates the flick by four years and pretty much it looks like as usual the American Hollywood ripped that shit off. If interested, it’s worth jumping down the rabbit hole to go look for this one as it has a quite different ending I wasn’t sure how to fell about as I give the flick 3 stars. But to be honest now that I know this exist it still won’t change my mind on how much I love the Arnold flick.

Blood, Guts, and Sunshine: The History of Horror Made in Florida (Blu-ray) – A documentary that tackles the rich history of independent filmmaking in the state of Florida and how it has produced several Indy gems over the years from several talented individuals. Sean Donohue puts together the usual great doc that talk: Creature from the Black Lagoon to Bob Clark to Tim Ritter to Stanley to H.G. Lewis to Joel D. Wynkoop. Donohue is able to give the world a lot of inside stuff most fans may not know about and like most documentaries they can start to repeat conversations if left long enough but just when you think it’s over? It isn’t and it is actually kind of a shock about 80 or so minutes in at what one person’s opinion of the Florida filmmaking scene is… I give Mr. Donohue credit for leaving this in and getting others comments about this after it is said. As usual to some Sean and company might be an acquired taste among horror fans but to me they are some talented people down there in that sunshine state as I give this documentary 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Lair (On Demand) – A creature feature from Neil Marshall that takes place April 2017 in the Afghan Mountains unofficially where a royal Air Force pilot is shot down behind enemy lines. As she fights for survival from oncoming soldiers she stumbles upon a hidden bunker that she forces her way in. Chased inside and fighting for her life they all stumble upon a secret Russian experiment. Escaping barely from this bunker the pilot is picked up by a U.S. military team and taken too this desolate outpost that is there for the rejects of the military. But it doesn’t take long for these creatures to break out and track her down as they were bred for unnatural reasons and left abandoned as now these tough bastards are awake. Fun creature feature that felt a little clunky but still enjoyable as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #514

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Gross Movie Reviews #514

 

Naked Cannibal Campers (Blu-ray) – The latest from one of the hardest working independent filmmakers, Sean Donohue who is based out of Florida. Three young guys go out for the usual “let’s get drunk and fishing weekend” and just happen to have a cabin near three young ladies. But these ladies are not just your average hotties, they just so happen to be witches who are looking for dinner which is usually human. Meanwhile a weird one-eyed warlock stalks the woods trying to save potential victims but stumbles upon a young man whose girlfriend was the latest to fall under the witches’ spell. The warlock trains the young man to use his new found power to help defeat the beautiful cannibal witches as the witches feast on the three young men. Boobs, buckets of blood and a hilarious cannibal plotline make for an entertaining feature from Mr. Donohue as he has a formula for his projects and it works as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Santo in the Revenge of La Llorona (DVD) – A professor asks Santo for his assistance in retrieving a necklace from a mummy that happens to have a map enclosed that will show the way to a treasure. Which of course the professor claims he will donate the treasure to museums and children’s hospitals in Mexico. But doing this expedition they must face off with the spirit of La Llorona who is protecting the necklace. This Santo feature didn’t seem to be as much fun as some of the others I have watched recently so I only give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Wicked World (DVD) – Barry J. Gillis best known for his various roles in and on 1989s ‘Things’ took a stab at directing this Indy Canadian feature. We are introduced to an insane serial killer who was sent over the edge after the suicide of his three daughters. He narrates his murders he has committed from his wheelchair in an asylum. Harold was only caught when he killed off a cop’s ex-girlfriend. Harold uses bats, guns, whatever he can use to terrorize the residents of Toronto. Barry’s film is literally a mess of a film that while researching ‘Wicked World’ found Barry being quoted that “he wished the film would have stayed buried” it that bad. I really believe even the die-hard Indy supporters will find it hard to watch as I give it a ½ star.

Six Days in Roswell (Blu-ray) – The same crew that was behind the cult hit ‘Trekkies’ quickly took its next aim at making a documentary about the alien capital of the world: Roswell, New Mexico. In 1997, the 50th anniversary of the famous alien crash landing the crew follows a man named Rich from Minnesota who is living a lifelong dream of visiting Roswell. Rich’s goal is to gather information from all the people visiting there during the great celebration and see how he can get abducted by aliens. So Rich decides to use this dream for research how he can make it easier for him to be abducted. Rich takes in and interviews: alien experts, live debates about aliens, bands that just sing songs about aliens, costume contests, conventions, everything about the alien abduction culture. There is no faking the reactions and answers he gets when interviewing people about aliens. It is a wonderful look into how serious humans do take this interesting subject. Bonus to the documentary is the commentary by the director, producer, and star Rich explaining more behind the idea of doing the project but also giving you more info about some of the characters Rich talked to that didn’t make the cut. If you are even at all interested in aliens this upgrade for the 2001 documentary is an absolute treat to watch as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Suckers (Blu-ray) – A bigger budgeted project for filmmaker Roger Nygard after gaining some critical success with two documentaries that turn some heads. The film newly transferred to Blu-ray is about a man named Bobby who is in some major debt with some shady guys who really would like their money with interest immediately. Bobby not really excited about taking a job as a car salesman but only after his wife played by Lori Loughlin threatens to leave and meets Reggie. Reggie is the guy who trains all the salesmen and pushes them to sell every car for outrageous amounts of money by any means they can. Reggie wants to screw over the customer as much as possible. What feels like another version of “Used Cars” quickly turns into something else in the last quarter of the film when a $10,000 bonus is introduced for whoever sells the most cars in a month, drug dealers, a disgruntled employee, and the shady guys that force Bobby to rob his new place of employment or die? The Reggie character will feel way too over the top at times but in the long run of the film there is a point to him and how it all ties in nicely with an action-packed ending. The Blu-ray comes with a new transfer of the film, deleted scenes, raw takes, a trailer, and commentary of course. Without the recent disaster Lori Loughlin and family caused in Hollywood with famous kids going to college this film most likely gets looked over? But hey enjoy this diamond in the rough dark comedy as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #495

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Gross Movie Reviews #495

Hot Dog the Movie! (Blu-ray) – One of the most talked about sex comedies of the 80s has been restored and has goodies added to it by Synapse Films. We have a wholesome farm boy whom an amazing skier is making his way Squaw Valley, CA, for the winter skiing competition. Along the way Harkin our main character picks up the cute-next door type of girl hitchhiking who decides to tag along with Harkin to see where this leads. Once there Harkin soon makes quick friends with a group of skiers known as ‘The Rat Pack’ with his skills on the mountain during practice. As they all have a common foe in an Austrian skier named Rudi who has disrespected Harkin from the beginning. From there when not on the mountain for the competition ‘The Rat Pack’ is busy partying, creating chaos, and debauchery. Just like films of the same era in “Hardbodies”, “Losin’ It”, and “Porky’s” it gives you all the beautiful naked bodies you can handle in many party scenes. But what separates this fun sex comedy classic from most is not just its romantic element between Harkin and the hitchhiker but the amazing ski stunts and the ‘Chinese Downhill’ event to end the film. The way its shot and how its perform is perfect and I believe sometimes gets lost in all of the glorious nudity that we all remember watching as teenagers in the early 80s on Skinamax or HBO! Now imagine that restored with all the bright colors and cleared to perfection… Yes, I know there will be a few of us that will pause on the scenes of breasts for nostalgia? Believe me I don’t blame you even knowing then that the perfect Shannon Tweed was in the film. But the shots of the ‘Chinese Downhill’ are something to behold my friends. With this new restoration we also get a 50-minute documentary about the film which surprisingly they get a lot of who was involved. We also get a commentary and interviews with director Peter Markle and producer Mike Marvin which were not your usual boring stuff. These guys still show much love to the film and proud of the product they put on film. As usual Synapse Films did a supreme job at restoring one of the best sex comedies of the 80s and bringing it to Blu-ray for us fans to enjoy for many years to come. I give this Blu-ray 4 out of 4 stars and more info or to purchase the film can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

 

The Rake (DVD) – A slow burn horror flick from the talented Tony Wash whose story involves a brother and sister named Ben and Ashley whose father a doctor was working on a diagnosis for an insane person Jacob. One night Jacob shows up in their home to slaughter the parents in front of the children and then commits suicide. Years may have passed since the deaths but Ben and Ashley were adopted by a well-adjusted family and Ben was able to get past it. Ashley on the other hand has been in and out of asylums. Nikki their adopted sister whose family took them in is having a house warming party and wants the siblings to attend. Ashley once there begins to regress and speaks of “The Rake” and explains Jacob wasn’t a serial killer but a vessel for something more terrifying that can infect us all. Again a lot of dialogue, slow burn but the payoff with the monster thing is freaking awesome I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Dead Residence (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue and Gator Blade Films latest is a found footage flick that has first time house flippers in Tampa tackling a home maybe haunted or worst yet, someone besides them living there? Debbie and Patrick have found the perfect home to flip for their first time. Everything goes great and they spend their first nights in the home so they can get they don’t have to travel to work on the interior of the home. But while they sleep each night the new surveillance video picks up something is in the home watching them. During the remodel tools begin to disappear as does food but the couple are unphased until they find a flash drive that has disturbing snuff videos on it. By time the couple realizes where the videos are being filmed at it is already too late for the two. Sean did a great job in keeping someone like me interested in a found footage film as I am not the biggest fan of them. A fun keeping it simple independent film from Sean that serves as a legit warning to house flippers in the future as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Scary Movie (DVD-R) – A definite unknown flick from 1991 that really never got released but pops up a cable network from time to time. Warren is a very sheltered young man who is out for the Halloween holiday with a so-called friend at a haunted attraction. Of course the friend tries to hook up Warren to no avail but Warren’s attention is elsewhere when he hears on a police radio about a convict possibly escaping nearby. This sends Warren into a full panic attack that leads to the misfortune of the attraction shutting down. Interesting movie if there weren’t literally full scenes of nothing going on but Warren losing his grip on reality staring into space. This is one of those films for only the cinema die hards as I give it 1 star.

 

Haunting Inside (DVD) – Sylvia is a young woman who had a mental break because of her parents’ death and her brother Sam is forced to take care of her. She has her good days and bad days as Sam just tries to keep his own life together. Sam, per doctor’s advice goes and purchases several games for Sylvia to help keep her focus and not beat herself up. This excites Sylvia and she takes the Ouija board to her room to play but nothing happens. This disappoints Sylvia but does not stop her interest in the game that is supposed to be about talking to spirits. Second night she tries contacting her parents, still nothing but the next night she breaks through to something or some spirit. The spirit and her develop a relationship even if her doctor doesn’t see much good in this because it is only a game. The spirits look after Sylvia at first but they are actually just preparing her since she is in a fragile state that she doesn’t understand she is being taken advantage of. An absolute wonderful paranormal flick that is well written, well casted, and wish future paranormal flicks will pay attention to “Haunting Inside” as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Church of the Damned (DVD) – Another long lost unreleased Polonia Brothers film that wasn’t finished from 1985. It has intro from Mark Polonia recently explaining the issues with the project. It is a project they started in their senior year of high school about a couple cops who are investigating missing persons. While investigating the two cops stumble upon something called the ‘Brotherhood of Darkness’. It isn’t anything groundbreaking but fun to see again the early work of this talented duo as I give it 1 ½ stars for nostalgic sake.

 

5 Years After the Fall (DVD) – A low budget post-apocalyptic affair where five years ago the world walled off 90% of its population because the lack of food. Now present a young man is having a debate with an older man about what humans should do now until the train derails and he finds himself on the other side of the wall. Jacob soon learns the world has survived but only through cannibalism and the strong taking advantage of the weak. Now in the savage land Jacob must fight off cannibal marauders in order to escape a home he thought he found was safe. From the beginning you are able to see there is a disconnect between script and what is on screen as I give it 1 star.

 

Pickaxe (DVD) – Alex Black is a killer in the woods during the early 80s who slaughtered several people in Woodland Hills. Now 1988, he is believed to dead but rumors begin again as a couple go missing recently. Several high school students head to the parents’ cabin for some hard partying, sex, and preparing to attend a concert. After much nudity Alex gets his slaughter on until Tiffany Shepis and the great A. Michael Baldwin try to put a stop to his killing ways! Getting past the enormous amount of nudity the filmmaker thought the film needed there is some great gore shots but I feel if the film is distorted or confusing? I feel the film may have come across better if scenes were in a different order. The concept seems solid but scenes don’t fit together like it was edited to serve some kind of purpose the filmmaker wasn’t sharing with the viewer as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #472

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Gross Movie Reviews #472

 

Weenie Roast Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – High School football star Marty has it all until a serious head injury changes everything. His father brings a football scout to a barbeque and makes Marty show off his skills and in the process smacks his head off the grill in the backyard. Now with no football in his life and on special meds Marty wonders if he will ever be the same person as he has become distant with his girlfriend and friends. He believes the strong meds are giving him visions that aren’t there and confusing him. So the friends and Marty pile into a car, head to a cabin, and play a game of Hide-n-Go Drink! And so the bodies begin to pile up quickly… I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Avengers: Endgame (Theater) – After all the reknobs on their Google machines were done trying to spoil everything for everyone and bitch about anything opening weekend I went the week after it opened. Once again Marvel knows what they are doing. If you have been a fan of the several films that led up to this finale then you will really enjoy this as it gives closure to most of the characters you have gotten to know. Plus the three hour time feels like a breeze because let’s face it Marvel movie fans they a lot of storylines to cover. It is everything you could want from a summer popcorn flick. Infinity edges Endgame out for me but I felt like everyone got their 30 seconds in this flick. I give this film 3 ½ stars as it was only missing two things for me “Spider-man 2099” and “Blade”, but that’s me the weirdo.

 

American Massacre (YouTube) – After a couple of weeks of people dying in a small town of Victorville a group of friends thought this would be a good time for their Labor Day party. Of course an unknown killer begins to slice and dice through the group but don’t let the played out plot fool you. As only one person was supposed to die but escalates quickly. As the film becomes very interesting in the end it out smarts itself instead of sticking to the original plan of only having one twist. The movie was much better than I ever thought it was going to be so for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Hart-Break Killer (DVD) – Sean Donohue’s latest thriller is more about substance than sleaze but takes you on a very entertaining and trippy ride into the mind of Robert Hart. Mr. Hart is just a lonely, nerdy dude who would like to meet an attractive woman and have a relationship. This simple thing seems to be very hard to obtain as Robert always at odds at what he could do, or what he wants? His constant talks with the man in the dark room seem not to be helping and Robert is thinking about seeing a psychiatrist. Will he help or hurt Robert? Things are unclear as Mr. Hart’s dating woes continue sending him into a deep depression he may not be able to escape. I enjoy Sean’s work and hope he keeps it coming as I give this 3 out of 4 stars. www.gatorbladefilms.com

Werewolf in a Woman’s Prison (DVD) – This 2006 mess of a film might be my sleeper hit of the year. If the actress playing Sarah looks familiar that is because a lot of Full Moon fans would know her as the sultry Batty Boop from the “Killjoy” films. Sarah out in the woods boinking her dude in the woods is disturbed by a creature. This creature happens to be a werewolf that tears up her boyfriend and leaving Sarah wounded. She awakes some time later in a prison for the criminally insane and finds out the boyfriend is dead and she is completely fucked as it’s a foreign country and they want to use her ass! The prison looks to imprison American women for their gain in this rip-off of “American Werewolf in London”. So with her new situation Sarah must learn to survive in her new rapey environment. After a fight and not making friends with most of her bunk buddies she transforms into a werewolf and turns the Canpuna prison into a bloodbath. This film is a large barrel of sleaze and cheese that follows Joe Bob Briggs famous three B’s so well it may make his brain explode as I give this absolutely nutzoid flick 4 stars! The topper is an unbelievable werewolf transformation scene at the end of the film that had no business being that good of a transformation. Don’t think just go watch and understand …

 

Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – A hugely boring ass flick about a couple of country cops taking on two cannibal killing brothers in the mountains. And if wondering… yes there was a good bit of slow motion scenes for no apparent reason. I give the film zero stars as it gives more proof to asking WTF?

 

Amsterdamned (DVD) – A Dutch slasher film I didn’t know much about from 1989 that has the killer using the canals of Amsterdam to his advantage. The film has a very memorable scene of a hooker being killed but then hanged from a bridge where her body just smears along a boat full of children, great stuff. A police lieutenant hesitates to call it a serial killer until the bodies keep stacking up and are killed in similar ways. As the bodies pile up quickly the lieutenant must find out what experienced diver would have this thrill to kill? Of course they get the wrong guy to make it interesting but in the end the police cannot be fooled. A fun watch I give 2 ½ stars too.

The Devil’s Rock (DVD) – A 2011 film from “Night of the Hell Hamsters” filmmaker Paul Campion that sets the film on D-Day eve as soldiers are heading to islands to sabotage Nazi’s large cannons and structures. But the two hear a woman moaning inside the tunnel below and cannot stop themselves from seeing if they can rescue her from the Nazi forces. But what the two soldiers stumbled upon is something they could never expect as they come upon a scene of murder and gore. A German soldier there was on a secret mission to gain an ancient text on the island and test its knowledge. The test was to conjure a demon and control it so Hitler could use it as a weapon and enslave the world. It could change the war. Nothing on the Earth can send it back as the German and New Zealand soldier must work together to send it back to hell or become part of the bloodbath? The demon must eat constantly as I give this wonderful film from Paul Campion 3 stars and glad you are still out there my friend making awesome horror films.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #421

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Gross Movie Reviews #421

 

Amityville: The Awakening (On Demand) – Jennifer Jason Leigh (Joan) has just moved her family to the legendary house that is famous for the murders that took place 40 years ago. Her kids do not know this at all but soon learn about it through school. Belle the oldest daughter begins to sense strange things in the home and begins to do more research. Joan on the other hand hopes that something happens so her comatose son comes back to life as this was her real reason for moving the family to this legendary house. Soon the twin brother has come back to the land of the living but lets his twin sister know that he is not alone and wants to die. This movie is not horrible and you get real weird vibe from watching it as it incorporates the real life murders and acknowledges that there have been movies made about the house. The original actually possesses Belle to start digging in the basement for “the red room”? The film is an interesting take for the series as there are numerous crappy sequels and a remake. Seriously this movie is worth taking a look at as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Thor: Ragnarok (Theater) – The third film in the Marvel series of the title character has him fighting for Asgard’s existence as his sister has come back home and father has died. In Odin’s death he has brought Loki and Thor closer together… maybe. But once the sister arrives and has disposed of the brothers she plans on conquering more realms. The planet Thor and Loki fall upon just happen to have The Hulk and a legendary warrior The Valkyrie. Once together they plan to go back to Asgard and save the people before they are destroyed. The film is of course a giant fun bag of popcorn and we all know it is a placeholder for the upcoming Avengers films. But what made the film good are two things: a) has this 80s retro feel and b) you don’t have to see the first two “Thor” films to know what exactly is going on. I give it 3 stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death-Scort Service 2: The Naked Dead (DVD/Vimeo) – An escort named Michelle survived torture from a crazed killer a year ago and is trying to move on by being the best escort she can be. But the nightmare is not over as a new crazed killer kidnaps her and ends Michelle’s life with an electric saw to the vagina! Yes folks a saw to the babymaker, if you are going to watch a Sean Donohue flick you better come prepared especially in this film’s case… Independent sleaze, gore, and goo is Donohue’s calling card and there tons of it. A group of young escorts don’t care for the warnings or stories as they know if they don’t get naked they ain’t gonna make the money. But this new mysterious killer stays one step ahead of the new crop of working girls by killing them off in a more brutal way than the last. If you like your horror films sleazing, full of buck nakedness, and lots gooey gore this will be the feature for you gorehounds as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. If curious of where to find this fine flick go on over to: www.thesleazebox.com or www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

The Babyface Killer (YouTube) – A story of a man’s anger taking over after his woman loses their child before birth. They have been trying and finally it happens but bad luck comes along. The man slowly lets his anger build and gets upset over the littlest things until one day he sees a lovely pregnant woman out by the road. Then that is when he crosses the line, loses his mind, and goes dark… Great stuff again from Forte Films as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more at www.fortefilmsentertainment.com .

 

Rage and Honor II: Hostile Takeover (DVD) – The 1993 film brings action star and legend Cynthia Rothrock back together again with Richard Norton. This time out Cynthia’s character is undercover as a banker trying to stop a crooked banker but it becomes much more when he is linked to a drug lord. If you are a Rothrock fan this flick will disappoint as it seems like they just wanted the name and not the person as most of the action in the movie centers around Norton’s character. Pretty much got wait through the whole lame ass movie for Rothrock to fight someone as I give the boring movie 1 star.

 

Better Watch Out (On Demand) – Ashley is a young woman about to move away and is going to babysit Luke one more time before she goes. Luke is a much younger teenager who has googly eyes for the beautiful Ashley. When Luke goes to finally make his move on the babysitter somebody has other ideas? A brick gets thrown through the window, a person peeking through the window, someone trying to scare the two. But it just so happens to be Luke’s best friend trying to help the ultimate plan of Luke’s of getting the girl. Nope Ashley is pissed at both Luke and Garrett. Luke snaps and ties up Ashley and wants to play a game of “Truth or Dare” and the things get even further out of hand when the ex-boyfriend shows up. Luke has the mentality “if he cannot have Ashley, no one can” and has the plan in place to pull it off… maybe? A very different and entertaining holiday flick that isn’t so much horror as a thriller but well worth watching over a plate of Christmas cookies. And for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Arsenal (DVD) – An older brother always watched out for his little brother since they were young. Now it’s time for the little brother to take care of his older brother. As the older brother has been kidnapped by a low grade town mobster who had a plan to get money out of the younger brother. Nic Cage who plays the disgusting idoit with the plan wasn’t expecting the older down on his luck brother to say no. The younger brother has four days to come up with $350,000 and is getting help from an officer of the law played by John Cusack. When it comes down to it the film is an above average direct-to-video action flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (DVD) – An animated feature that helps feature the famous game characters in a struggle for world peace and stop a lost princess from being killed before marriage. To be honest haven’t played any of the Final Fantasy games probably since they started on Nintendo?! But the concept and the films always fascinated me and never a bad idea to check this animated features out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Assassin’s Creed (DVD) – Another video game adaption to movies that does not live up to most fans’ expectations. There is a program for certain prison inmates who are sent to death. If their DNA is linked to some kind of ancestry of this clan of warriors this certain government project wants you to find this “egg”. This “egg” has a certain power if in the right hands that can rule the world. The inmate put to death but wakes up hours later in a secured facility where the public believes they are dead. Then some scientists mess with the brain trying to bring out the ancestor they are looking for? It’s weird but also too I was never a fan of the game so who knows as I give this time filler 1 ½ stars.

Killer Campout (DVD) – Its 1966 and this ugly dude is torturing a couple out in a remote area. After killing the man he gets all rapey with the woman and of course nine months later another ugly thing is born. The film moves along to 1989 where people have been disappearing out in the woods but could never be explained. Authorities are baffled but not concerned as much as some others are with the problem. So some horny ass lady thinks it would be cool to do group therapy out in the woods unknowingly ringing the dinner bell for the old ugly dude still stalking out in the woods! Has that “Madman, Don’t Go in the Woods, and The Forest” kind of feel to it. Lots of fun gruesome deaths and a small twist make this throwback slasher fantastically entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Mark of the Scorpion (DVD) – Andy J. Forrest is Bootleg Indiana Jones in 1936 treasure hunting. But Bootleg Indiana cannot even get started before he is thrown in jail because some reknob wants the known treasure hunter working for him out in the Sahara desert. The reknob French dude believes he needs Bootleg Indy for the possible Cleopatra crap he may have found? The film is no “Treasures of the Four Crowns” but the plot of Bootleg Indy spending most of the movie in prison is actually really fascinating. I give this foreign mid-80s flick 2 stars.

 

Missionary Man (DVD) – A bible carrying stranger rolls into town to mourn a friend who was murdered. Oh, it’s Dolph Lundgren and he wants justice and Tekla. A man named Reno runs the small Native American town and seems to be the root of the problem with the possible murder and controlling the local authorities. Dolph of course kicks ass in this updated “Pale Rider” action flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Peacekeeper (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is Major Cross and now has become the keeper of the nuclear codes. After a terrorist attack on Cross, stealing the briefcase, and Cross presumed dead, the terrorists run to a missile solo that is being shut down. Wait a minute, Cross doesn’t die that easy as he will drive a car across building roofs and become one of the terrorists in order to get the codes back. A wonderfully entertaining mid-90s action film worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Cost of the Living (YouTube) – William Long has made a no budget flick about an apocalyptic love story. A man and a woman head off into the woods after the “Sickness” was destroying humanity. As long as they have each other the couple is happy and live forever. But with no budget movies sometimes editing is your best friend. If the movie is maybe made into short film format around 12 or 15 minutes it most likely works better. The 53 minute running time with not a whole lot happening gives it that dull feeling that makes you want to check out from watching the film. Mr. Long remember sir editing the film down is your what’s best as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Trespassers (DVD) – This fantastic short film is from Zane Hershberger (for the love of Rutger Hauer you know I am fucking that name up) and is a segment of a horror anthology called “10/31”. A couple is out at the local movie theater trying to enjoy a good scary movie but have picked a dud. So still looking for something to put a little fear in their lives on the best night of the year, Halloween they go for a drive out to a farm. This farm isn’t any farm it has a horrible history of a scarecrow popping mysteriously on the land and eventually Old Man Martin murdered his family and committed suicide. But what is about this creepy scarecrow that makes the local story so interesting this couple wants to know? Pretty creepy and well thought out Halloween short film reminds me of a cool little known horror flick from the late-80s called “Scarecrows” and for that I give 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!