See yinz Saturday!

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Doing the usual this Saturday, F%4k that Brookline people! Come to Geekadrome for Free Comic Book Day Brookline Blvd. and check out one of the coolest places in the Brookline community. Plus you can meet me Tim Gross!

 

Author, director, actor (this can be debated), podcaster, horror movie critic, I will be there from 10-2 to promote my latest book “Tales from the Gross Side” and celebrate my birthday.

 

That not enough for you. Well I am a fellow nerd that can talk to you about my mounds of horror comics or why “Deadpool” and “Blade” can be considered the greatest comic book movies outside of “Iron Man”? Still not enough, I can talk heroclix and how I could defeat my wife’s three brothers with the craziest team-ups of all time and now it just takes too much thought for today’s heroclix. What, not nerdy enough? Let me just tap one forest manna for my ‘Fog’ so you forget what I just said so we can discuss why old school Magic: The Gathering was better before Series eight???

 

And by some chance that is not enough to come to Geekadrome for a free comic book and visit me? You can come by old people (older than 40) and we can talk about how we all stole baseball cards from Thrift Drugs on Sussex Ave., played at Game Room One, or drank in the woods behind Brookline school or Carmalt school just in case you don’t believe I have lived my whole life in Brookline… See yinz Saturday!

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What better way to celebrate Free Comic Book Day than it being my birthday also!!!

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The Geekadrome : Games and Comics

534 Brookline Blvd, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15226

 

 

This Free Comic Book Day will also mark out 11th year in Brookline and we want to celebrate that with a sale to coincide with our Free Comic Book Day.

What’s Free Comic Book Day?
FCBD is a celebration of comics, art, and reading where we purchase a selection of comics to give away for free during the event. as well have special exclusive Funko Pop figures that can only be purchased at the event.

What’s going to be on sale?
All kinds of things are going to be on sale, t-shirts will be $10, we will have a special sale table filled with action figures, collectibles and more all half off or more, and of course comics!

Anything else?
YES! We will be giving away some unique collectible merchandise TBA and each purchase gets you an entry to win one, Winners won’t need to be present but will need to pick them up.

Can I take Free Comics for my friend?
No, But you should tell them about it or even bring them with you. Comics are pop culture and our culture and we love to share it, but we can’t tell if we are sharing it or if someone is just being a little greedy.

 

You need a copy of Tales from the Gross Side

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http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/tales-from-the-gross-side/paperback/product-23554233.html

 

The book is a collection of short horror related stories that have been rolling around in my head, unfinished movie scripts, or story ideas. These stories have been something I have wanted to write for quite a while. I now thought it was the right time for people to get a look inside my mind.

Gross Movie Reviews #435

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Gross Movie Reviews #435

 

Deep Blue Sea 2 (On Demand/DVD) – So this was a glorious waste of a sequel. Some rich dude basically buys the same set from the first film and sets up sharks to experiment on. He of course brings in the smartest people from around the world to work on his project that could possibly unlock the human brain or extend life… Or just make bull sharks smarter and wanna fuck up humans for fun! Eventually after they breed they become “piranha-sharks” that SyFy Channel has made better with less. This was a sad excuse for a sequel and should be avoided as it is the worst movie so far for me in 2018 as I give it 0 stars.

The Night Watchmen (DVD) – So Blimpo the Clown, a Baltimore native, has died in Romania while on tour. His body is shipped to the Baltimore Gazette instead of the morgue down the street. The night watchmen are made a deal by the two guys who made the mistake to keep it overnight. We are introduced to two crazy watchmen who for the most part just watch porn and play cards, while a third that might be witness protection reads a lot, and the new guy who is done with the band thing. Everything that happens at the gazette is known by these guys: missing lunches, cute girls on which floor, when the boss (James Remar) is feeling up young ladies’ butts. Well their boss gets curious about Blimpo’s coffin to see if he can steal anything but instead finds Blimpo the Vampire! Blimpo and his fellow going army of vampires have taken over the building and Karen the cute journalist is in trouble. So the night watchmen and the rookie come up with a plan to save her and possibly ask her on a date while fighting vampires. We get a hilarious, awesome glorious bloody mess of a horror film that will be on my ‘Best of 2018’ list. I give this movie 4 stars folks.

 

AZF (Anti-Zombie Force) (DVD) – A zombie outbreak has ravaged the world and the military is growing thin trying to save folks. But there is new hope as news comes across a radio transmission of a cure called “Code Lazarus”. Along with hope of course come people who want the cure to just rule the world instead of restoring it? The movie centers on these two military groups racing to get control of the cure. The props, military truck, guns make this independent zombie film an interesting watch. The story isn’t exactly something that is unique but having the resources on a small budget to pull off what most have trouble doing is gratifying enough for me to enjoy what this filmmaker and company pulled off. For that I have to give this feature some respect and 2 ½ out of 4 stars. More about the film can be found at www.witchdoctorfilms.com .

Housesitters (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent horror/comedy that has young two girls: Angie and Izzy getting the perfect job of housesitting for a guy that Angie met the night before. Plus the house has everything including a Platinum card to order anything and the satanic pentagram with candles in the basement. But the young ladies still have free reign of the house. This includes smoking lots of weed, watching a crazy amount of porn with the pizza guy, and hanging with their guys until a little demonic creature shows up and kills them in their bathroom. Once they understand they cannot leave the house as there seems to be a void outside of it they find a spell book. They also find a note inside explaining they are part of a demonic ritual to bring forth a demon god. The two decide to confront it in the basement with surprising results. Jason Coffman put together one amazing film as it made me laugh out loud six or seven times. The Indy flick isn’t just entertaining but gives you something unexpected and funny. I love this kind of stuff and kudos to Jason and company as I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/Housesittermovie or www.housesittersmovie.com .

 

Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend (DVD) – Folks by far this movie is bad but the dialogue is absolutely entertaining and making this worth forcing yourself through. A lonely dude named Marcus is a security guard who has a lot of time on his hands. Marcus has trouble getting dates so he turns to cable porn until his father shows up on the TV and starts talking to him. So Marcus decides it’s time to call the hookers and negotiate terms. Of course like any lonely dude he wants to remember the occasion so he tape records the first session and video tapes the others. Marcus bleeds his savings to pay for all the hookers in a mere couple weeks. Lots of topless women and hilarious dialogue are the highlights of this bad but very entertaining movie. This movie doesn’t need to be watched but witnessed as I could see the MST3K guys bringing this film up every week for the next episode. So thank you filmmaker Ronnie Cramer for this gem as I give it 2 stars.

 

Trancers VI (DVD) – So I totally blanked this flick out of my mind when it was first released in the early 2000s. Mainly because no Jack Deth aka Tim Thomerson. Tim Thomerson is in the film but only clips from the other “Trancers” films. Anyway Jack has to go back down the line to ‘Old L.A. 2022’ because his daughter is in trouble. Someway, somehow Trancers are back. Jack believed he was retired, that he killed the last of them. After a meteor shower Jack’s daughter Jo gets mixed up with Trancers after she believes the meteor shower is being covered up. Her ex-boss and his assistant have found a meteor rock and using it to turn the young homeless of L.A. into Trancers they can control. The film has its heart in the right place but I doubt Charlie had much involvement or cared what was going on with this sequel? The effects were terrible and you could see there wasn’t much budget to work with but glad I gave it another chance. This sequel does raise questions such as why hasn’t there been a reboot or another sequel from Mr. Band and company because this series does have its own fan base? Unlike the idiotic “Evil Bong” commercials he calls movies. And you can’t tell me Tim Thomerson wouldn’t be up for one more as he did reprise the character for 30 seconds in one of the “Evil Bong” movies… I have several more questions I could ask about why Full Moon isn’t doing anything with this series but again the film’s heart was in the right place just poorly executed as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Mayday (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting thriller about your typical airplane trip from L.A. to London that isn’t so typical once leaving the ground. All is well on Falcon Flight 88 until the lights begin to flicker, and then go out, and then a passenger disappears. Of course this makes everyone on board scared for their lives as they do not understand what actually happened. Air marshal Anderson (Michael Pare) takes action as this is his job. But after talking to the frantic wife about her husband disappearing he is just as baffled as anyone else on board. Lights flicker again and another passenger disappears. Then it happens again. Anderson struggling for answers begins to entertain the talk of the supernatural after a conversation with a nice lady on board that he is kind of sweet on. Is it supernatural forces at work or is it something else going on that cannot be explained? All Anderson knows with the pilot just disappearing anything can happen unless he solves the mystery or he will be the one trying to land the plane. Filmmaker Massimiliano Cerchi crafts an interesting story that makes your mind think when all the characters are introduced. The film is a different and wonderful thrill ride that stars one of my favorite actors Michael Pare who is all in with his role as the air marshal. Fun stuff here folks from Mr. Cerchi as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Terror Films Releases Gritty, Indie Horror Flick Tempus Tormentum April 17th!

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Los Angeles, CA (April 13th, 2018)- Terror Films is set to release James Rewucki’s, Tempus Tormentum onto Digital platforms this Tuesday, April 17.  The genre distributor is unveiling the official poster and trailer, prior to the film’s chilling release, right here.

 

The film was written and directed by James Rewucki and produced by Absurd Machine Films. Tempus Tormentum stars Tyhr Trubiak as Mr. Mouse, an unlucky drifter who happens to become the prey of three masked psychopaths. The psychopaths are named: Clown (Dr. Rage), Devil (Darren Johnston), and Slashmouth (Paul McWhinney). After drugging and abducting their victim, the trio use a combination of psychological and physical torture to drive Mr. Mouse mad, kill him or both.

Tempus Tormentum features award winning cinematography and sound design and has played at multiple festivals. A selection of film festivals Tempus Tormentum has played at include FEARnyc (2017). Here, it won Best Lighting Design and was nominated for Jury Prize Best Feature and Best Actor. At the Tampa Bay Underground Film Festival (2017), the film was nominated for Best Feature, Best Director, Best Horror and Best Production Design. The film also showed at the Amarcord Chicago Arthouse Film Awards (2017and the Hamilton Film Festival CA (2017). In total, the film has been nominated for or won at least ten awards – during its year long festival run.

 

The film’s official trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKXCVuENdu4

In their ongoing effort to bring the best and most diverse indie horror content to the masses, Terror Films will be releasing the film in North American markets across multiple Digital platforms. The Digital release will begin with: Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Vudu, Google Play and XBox Live. This release will be followed by additional platforms (to be announced) and a DVD release, at a later date.

 

More details on the film: http://tempustormentum.com/site/

 

For more information on Terror Films, visit: http://www.terrorfilms.net/films

 

And here: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

THERE IS NO SHELTER FROM THIS STORM!

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CLOWNADO has launched from acclaimed indie director Todd Sheets.

While Bonehill Road, Todd’s epic Werewolf film, continues on it’s Theatrical and Film Festival tour in advance of it’s Halloween 2018 release, he has started Pre-Production on his latest endeavor.   Bonehill Road was listed on over 13 BEST OF 2017 lists and so far has been an Official Selection at over 43 Film Festivals.  And now Director Todd Sheets turns his attention to CLOWNADO.

 

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover! Our goal with CLOWNADO is to make a damned good, scary and splatter-filled, nonstop roller coaster ride of a Horror movie. Shot in a “Neo-Noir” style… It’s something new, fresh, original and unique but also familiar. Using only Practical Special Makeup Effects and old school styled Visual Effects, CLOWNADO has the vibe of Classic Horror movies we love. So if you took some John Carpenter, a bit of Lucio Fulci, Evil Dead and Dead Alive, buckets of gore, Noir style and supernatural Clowns and you threw them into a swirling storm of insanity… this would be it! This is certainly no comedy!

 

CLOWNADO – A one of a kind thrill ride into the depths of depravity and gore!!! Believe it or not, it is a Horror Film Noir, with crazed killer Clowns on a rampage from Hell… out for revenge and only BLOOD can quench their savage desire for destruction!!!! Be ready for one twisted and scary adventure! – I’m working on the final draft of the Script and we’ll be posting updates as they happen.

 

So, while a title like Clownado could be either a really good party movie or a really bad cheesefest, we ask you to keep an open mind and give us a chance. One thing we promise is you will be ENTERTAINED by our film. We will pour our hearts and souls into it and it will be made with real passion. We will make sure it is a stylish movie, with some good scares, some creepy scenes and some outrageous SPLATTER!!!!! For sure there are elements of the film that go wildly over the top, but with a title like this…. we have a LOT to live up to! We appreciate your support for the film and we cannot wait to share our adventure with you while we create this crazy movie!

 

This time around, Todd and his company, Extreme Entertainment, decided to do TWO crowdfunding platforms.  “We started with GoFundMe,”  Sheets explains.  “But we had people write us who are fans of IndieGoGO and they really wanted to use that platform.  So we asked our friends and fans of these movies about it and they all liked the idea of us doing both!”  The IndieGoGo campaign is only up for 40 days, while the GoFundMe is going for 60.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/clownado

 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/clownado-horror

 

 

Todd Sheets

Extreme Entertainment – www.ZombieBloodbath.com

Dreamimg Purple Neon – www.DreamingPurpleNeon.com

House of Forbidden Secrets – www.HouseOfForbiddenSecrets.com
NIGHTWATCH – www.nightwatchradio.com
Jackalope Media

www.nightwatchradio.com
www.jackaloperadio.com
www.zombiebloodbath.com

Gross Movie Reviews #434

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Gross Movie Reviews #434

 

The Last Days of Livermore (DVD) – A man travels to Livermore Cemetery to confront his love. He believes it is time to move on from the relationship to other things but has second thoughts as he wants to be with her… Think of the short film as a horror love story with a splatter of gore as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The short film was shot in Livermore, Pa. and the Livermore Cemetery location look to be a wonderful spot for the film. For more details about the film go to:  www.facebook.com/The-Last-Days-of-Livermore .

Terrifier (On Demand) – A film from Damien Leone that I had been hearing things about for a couple years it seems. Well horror movie fans grab the Halloween candy and turn down the lights as there is a new fun Halloween holiday horror flick to enjoy! Art the Clown is out on the town Halloween night carrying his sack of goodies. Art not having much to say voice wise uses his actions to tell you what he is about to do. As Art wanders the streets a pretty young lady named Tara catches his eye and follows Tara and her friend Dawn into a pizza shop. Of course Dawn takes pics of her and the weird ass clown that keeps an eye on Tara for her social media page. From there it just gets creepy as hell as their car has a flat and Tara runs to a close by apartment building to use the bathroom. The fun holiday night goes to hell when Art the Clown shows up again to begin his bloody path to the girls and anyone that interferes. I love the whole thing of Art the Clown just existing and actor David Howard Thornton was perfect for the role. “Terrifier” wasn’t just entertaining but pure horror awesomeness as the film took the gore level up a notch with a great ‘death by hacksaw’ scene (poor Dawn)! The film was grim, gritty, and absolutely beautiful. Mark my words “Terrifier” will be one of the best horror films of 2018 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Ayla (Vimeo/DVD) – The latest from ‘The October People’ and John Portanova is a wonderful dramatic thriller about a man who spirals out of control. Elton has always tried to hold on to his dead sister. She died when Elton and his brother were young but Elton refuses to move on. He struggles daily and when Elton and his girlfriend drive out to a house to fool around he believes he is seeing her again and again. The struggle gets worse and Elton returns to the old house like he is driven to go there and find something? Next thing you know Elton is digging under a weird tree and finds his dead sister… alive and thirty years older. Beyond happy he loses connection with his girlfriend and tries to explain to his mom and brother Ayla is back and this isn’t some fake person. While doing that apparently Ayla likes to puke fluids and be naked for most of the movie. Did Elton will this to happen? Is there life after death? Is it all just in Elton’s mind and we are along for the ride? Truly weird and bizarre tale that will make you think and want to watch it again. I enjoy what ‘The October People’ are doing as they don’t stick to a certain genre and try to give you something very different movie wise than you are use too. I give this cool weirdo flick 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.theoctoberpeople.net .

 

Partners (DVD) – A 1982 supposed comedy has a straight cop and a gay cop go undercover in the gay community to solve a series of murders among gay men. Some bad jokes even in 1982 and a relationship blossoming between the two cops are the main plot points of the film. Surprisingly the cast is what kept me watching the film (Ryan O’Neal, John Hurt, James Remar, and Martin Kove). The film is watchable but it isn’t a “Cruising” as I give this forgotten comedy 1 star.

 

Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper (DVD) – Once again I am watching stuff I couldn’t make up if I tried unless I was David DeCoteau? A pretty boring film full of shirtless hunks, it’s November 1971 and supposedly in the woods turkey hunting in the state of Washington. A man named Bernie now older tells a story of how and why he knows the real story of D.B. Cooper. There is a reason the authorities have never found D.B. Cooper and it’s all because of Bigfoot. And Bigfoot is a Peeping Tom apparently? Weird shit so of course I watched it as I give it a half star only for having voiceover work done by Eric Roberts and Linnea Quigley.

 

The Plague (DVD) – A small community called Love Canal in Canada has been used a toxic dumping ground for years. But the dumping ground hasn’t only been used for toxic materials as bodies have been dumped there also. But the dead are beginning to rise and forces a brother and sister out for a jog to team up with a couple criminals to survive the onslaught of zombies that are attacking. The group tries to use their cars to escape but that makes little difference as the numbers of undead begin to rise. Another independent zombie film that doesn’t exactly separate itself from the growing number of other Indy zombie films out there. They all have ‘good concepts’ but just don’t find a way to pull it off. I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find more out at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

The Plague 2: Biohazard Blood (DVD) – Two survivors from the first film, Becky and Jill are roaming the wasteland as the plague spread quickly through the cities and world. The world fell apart quickly as the Love Canal incident turned into full fledge zombie apocalypse. Or the filmmaker just has watched too much of “The Walking Dead”? As Becky and Jill see signs for salvation and travel to the destination until they cross a father whose child was taken from him because they escaped the sanctuary. Becky and Jill choose to help and rescue the daughter and disband this so-called sanctuary. The sequel seem to be less bloody, boring, and a “Walking Dead” clone done very cheaply as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about flick at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

Les Paterson Saves the World (VHS/YouTube) – A bumbling idiot that is the Australian diplomat farts while on stage during a conference and catches another diplomat on fire. As punishment he is sent to the Middle East as a favor so he could be tortured and killed. But being a complete idiot and totally unaware he escapes and helps a Russian plot to proceed. The Russian plot is a Bio-weapon of super herpes via toilet seats being placed in the Pentagon so it could infect all Americans. The diabolical plan can only be stopped by the bumbling idiot or the U.S. president Joan Rivers to give up one squillion dollars for the antidote. The 1987 film has its moments that include Hugh Keays-Byrne in leather and Barry Humphries also starring as a woman who works for the C.I.A. trying to defuse the situation. A weird comedy that I know I didn’t get all of the humor but was just glad to watch something a little different than the usual so I give it 2 stars.

 

Rise of the Footsoldier (DVD) – The film is based on a true life tough guy named Carlton Leach who rose through the ranks of feared criminals. His main business was violence and crime during the 80s and 90s. If someone needed protected, drugs sold, guns, someone beaten up? Carlton and his boys were the ones to contact if you had the cash. Leach made a living off of this for many years until some peers of his were killed in a vicious shooting that one of his friends said they were retiring. The UK accent is very thick in this film where they should have had some subtitles at times but if you are a fan of mob flicks this might be something up your alley? I give the movie 2 stars.

 

The Sisterhood (DVD) – Another Philippines post-apocalyptic flick produced from the Roger Corman Company that is about women with special powers after the nuclear holocaust. The year is 2021 and a woman and her village have just been raided by some raiders and her brother was killed. Two women warriors from a group “The Sisterhood” come by and help the young lady. The warriors of The Sisterhood are considered outcasts or witches and decide they will help track down the raiders that did this horrible deed. The female warriors believe in freedom and will put an end to the men’s’ terror with or without the help of the war wagon they find. Quite a fun post-apocalyptic B-movie that doesn’t look like it has much going for it and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #433

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Gross Movie Reviews #433

 

Black Water (DVD) – We have a killer action flick on a super-secret sub starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and Patrick Kilpatrick. JCVD is Wheeler who gets caught up in a double cross over a thumb-drive that has secrets that can be sold worldwide. Patrick Kilpatrick is the man who has brought him in and transporting him on a C.I.A. black ops sub that doesn’t exist. Wheeler’s neighboring cellmate just happens to be a German named Marco played by Dolph who cannot be killed because he knows too much and may be to high profile? When things get double-crossed again and no one to trust as people are being killed on the sub Wheeler turns to Marco for help. The movie plays out like “Under Siege” on a sub which isn’t a bad thing. The film is a lot of fun especially because of the Marco character but just feel more could have been done with this action flick. It’s good but not great and potential to be great as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Moon (VHS) – An Australian slasher film from 1990 about an all-girls Catholic high school and its students being stalked and killed by an unknown killer. When a girl and her boyfriend disappear no one blinks an eye except for her best friend who feels something could be going on? But honestly she isn’t too worried as she goes to a dance and meets a dreamy dude who snuck into their dance. Soon more girls disappear and the police begin snooping around a creepy Science teacher who he and his wife have a secret? This flick is your scraping the barrel kind of slasher film that doesn’t have much substance. Remember its 1990 so I am sure this was made on mostly on the cheap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Raiders of Atlantis (DVD) – Hey remember that “Cannibal Holocaust” Deodato dude? Well he made a bunch of other movies for those who may not know. And this gem is a wonderful must-see mess! Released in 1983 under the title “Atlantis Interceptors” in some countries takes “The Road Warrior” rip-off to a whole other off the wall level. Off the coast of Florida some scientists have found an artifact at the bottom of the ocean that proves the existence of Atlantis. They are going to try and move a sunken Russian sub to investigate more. When moved, the sea floor opens, a tidal wave destroys the scientific ocean platform, and a biker gang led by ‘fish bowl man’ begins murdering people on the mainland. The “Atlantis Interceptors” are back to take the mainland from these dumb humans! Never mind asking why they have customized motorcycles with swords on them and cars with guns on them? Just except this mess of a plot hole and thank me later for enjoying a great post-apocalyptic movie about two dudes trying to save the world by flying into Atlantis and fucking shit up! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Kindergarten Cop 2 (DVD) – So twenty some years later they decided to make a sequel with Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is a F.B.I. agent who goes undercover to question six year olds about a flash drive their old teacher may have hidden? The drive has all the identities of everyone in witness protection. Of course hijinks ensue but not nearly as funny as the original from 1990 starring Arnold. But it had Dolph so I know I am in it for at least one watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Welcome to Willits (DVD) – This odd horror flick was a very nice little surprise from 2016. A girl (Anastasia Baranova from “Z Nation”) home from college in her little Northern California town has an uncle and aunt that have a huge weed crop they protect. Her uncle believes aliens are trying to steal his crop and do weird shit to him. This all started when he substituted something in his batch of meth not too long ago and his visions of aliens and a Dolph Lundgren cop show ‘Fists of Justice’ continue to get worse. What doesn’t help is some campers are staying nearby and stumble upon the crop and war is declared as the uncle believes he is killing aliens. This flick is a funny and unexpected gore fest! To give an extra twist is Rory Culkin who shows up as the weird hitchhiker picked up by the campers to give it that extra creep but fun horror factor. Movie fans this is well worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (DVD) – Since I have seen one and three it was only fair I eventually checked out the Uwe Boll sequel starring Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is Granger in present day. Granger gets pulled into a time warp which takes him to a distant time where he is called “The Chosen One”. He is deceived into thinking he must go up a mountain and kill the ‘Holy Mother’ who leads the ‘Dark Ones’. But he finds out the truth from the Holy Mother that he is placed into the future as an orphan to potentially return and save them all from the evil king who has deceived all who follow him. Granger’s future world depends on him stopping the king’s evil plan of a plague. Apparently they ran out of Jason Statham money and Uwe Boll had a leftover script from his “House of the Dead” projects and you have this… I give the fantasy flick 1 star.

 

4 Got 10 (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, and Michael Pare are all wrapped up together in this tale of a man who forgets who he is and has a van full of drugs and money. As the man tries to remember what happened, a crooked cop kills the wrong partner and a DEA agent and a drug lord have questions. Your typical direct-to-HULU/NETFLIX jams for weirdoes like me who believe those three names are always gold for action flicks. Or at least worth one watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Children of the Corn: Runaway (DVD) – So John Gulager needed a paycheck so “hey we need someone to direct the ninth entry into this useless series only Tim Gross watches?” A woman named Ruth is trying to escape her past with a cult that killed all their parents over a decade ago. She left when pregnant so her son would have a chance in the normal world. Of course evil has followed her and wants her son. The film isn’t terrible but if you are having trouble sleeping this might help you as I give it 1 star.

 

Hellraiser: Judgment (DVD) – Of course this tenth entry sucked a huge double bag of dicks! Think remake of the fifth entry “Inferno”? If you remotely know what I am talking about please turn away and don’t watch because it will make you feel stupid and angry. For the love of DOUG BRADLEY, $350,000 budget! Thank you Dimension Films for releasing another hot pile donkey shit into the world and just insulting horror movie fans, Clive Barker, and humans in general. Worst movie of 2018! Wait question what is worse? Jeepers Creepers 3 or this entry into the so-called Hellraiser series? Hold on I think I need to go drown myself in the tub while I slit my wrists at the same time. Crap film gets crap move on folks.

Surviving Evil (DVD) – So Billy Zane plays an adventure dude who does a survival show for a cable channel. Zane and his crew head to a supposedly haunted island in the Philippines to shoot their latest episode of the TV show. One of the crew knows of the legends on the island but is choosing to ignore them as he has other motives of why he is there. This crew member knows of Japanese gold that is hidden on the island and is willing to risk his friends and his own life for the payoff. But the legend becomes real when shape-shifting tribe of demons show up and sniff out one of the crew is pregnant. Apparently pregnant women to these cool demons are Yuengling to me? The movie has some great build up, Billy Zane being Billy Zane, lots of gore, and really interesting demon things! This pleasant horror film feels like a really awesome SyFy Channel film that was too awesome to be on the “Sharknado” network. This film gets 3 really kick ass demon stars.

 

Kickboxer: Retaliation (DVD) – In case you haven’t had your fill of these movies JCVD’s character Durand is blinded by a fight promoter and must help Kurt Sloane train again. But this isn’t any ordinary fight as the fight promoter is Christopher Lambert and he is a ruthless rich bastard that wants Sloan to fight a chemically enhanced fighter. So Lambert kidnaps Sloan’s wife and gets Sloan arrested and thrown into a Bangkok prison. There Sloan trains with Mike Tyson and JCVD now that he has no choice to defend his title. If you are an action film fan this will be your bonerjam or your Viagra until they give us another Jason Statham action flick? Really enjoying JCVD doing another one of these as I give it 3 stars and yes Mike Tyson still looks scary even when he is acting.

 

Dune Warriors (DVD) – A post-apocalyptic B-movie mess from 1990, the Corman group producing, and stars David Carradine. A small village is being taken over by some warlords for their water. A woman in the village has had enough and goes out to hire five warriors to help defend the village. If you like watching dumb ass shit like me you’ll enjoy it. Let’s just say it isn’t “Deathsport” or “Battletruck”. I give it barely one Carradine as he was barely there for the paycheck.

 

Lunatics: A Love Story (DVD) – This oddity is truly a love story that stars Ted Raimi as Hank, who is a writer and has not left his apartment in six months. A huge part of it is he keeps having delusions of spiders and a doctor (Bruce Campbell) trying to cut him or give him a shot. His life changes when he believes he is calling a dating line and it happens to be a pay phone. The phone is picked up by Deborah Foreman’s character Nancy, who believes she is a jinx. She just got done getting thrown out of her hotel room, dumped by her boyfriend, and shot a gang member in the foot. On a whim Nancy accepts Hank’s invite to his apartment. Nancy tries to look past all the foil and Hank’s weirdness and they connect for their love of poetry. But Nancy believing she is a jinx runs away only to force Hank to overcome his fear of leaving the apartment to go get the girl. Josh Becker put together a hilarious tale with a great cast that I believe the studios were unsure of how to advertise. When someone brings up you should watch a love story with them go with this flick as I give it 3 ½ stars and you won’t be disappointed or bored.

 

Nightflyers (VHS) – I keep getting this confused with the Stephen Machet flick with killer bats. But this is the 1987 space flick starring Catherine Mary Stewart who is a part of a crew that gets on a ship that might be alive? They are off on a mission and become more curious as they never meet the captain and the Class 10 telepath on board keeps warning them bad shit is going to happen to them. The ship computer controls everything including her son Royd who must have seen “The Last Starfighter” and “Night of the Comet” and realizes how hot Ms. Stewart is and begins to converse with her. Some boring space shit happens, then the ship tries to kill them all, and we get a scene where the telepath gets his face cut in half by a laser “Intruder-style”. Outside of the really cool death by laser scene; the movie seems to suffer several things including many rewrites most likely. But hey it is being remade into a TV show so there is that as I give this flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Argoman: The Fantastic Superman (YouTube) – Oh the shit I couldn’t make up? Sir Reginald Hoover is Argoman. An Italian Batman clone who believes saving the world and keeping peace. But also he loses his powers for six hours if he bangs hot women of 1967. Argoman’s nemesis Jenabell is busy stealing a crown and forcing France to give her all their money. When that isn’t going on Sir Reginald is busy boning Jenabell and will capture her when the time is right. The rest of the movie is Argoman escaping custody and just seeing what else he can do for fun with his amazing powers. The movie doesn’t a whole lick of sense but I was entertained and laughed several times and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Valley of the Rats “A New Odyssey of Violence and Eroticism”

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Vancouver, British Columbia (Monday, March 26th): Vince D’Amato’s (Vampires vs. Zombies) Giallo styled thriller, Valley of the Rats, is set for a late March release. There will be at least three versions of the film, all released on Blu-ray. Within the story of Valley of the Rats, a man is falsely accused of his girlfriend’s murder. He goes in search of his killer, only to uncover an even stranger mystery. This title, shot in Vancouver, B.C. and Turin, Italy, stars: Tristan Risk (American Mary), Momona Komagata (Peelers), Jesse Inocalla and even Lynn Lowry makes a special appearance. Details on this limited release are hosted here.

 

Both Shivers Entertainment and Darkside Releasing will be handling the film’s home entertainment launch. Darkside Releasing and Shivers Entertainment will be offering the standard 2-disc release, an ultra-limited 3-disc set which includes a full-length live performance by Tristan Risk’s ‘Caravan of Creeps’ burlesque troupe (100 units), and exclusive to Shivers Entertainment, the limited 3-disc set that includes the International version (500 units). Darkside’s website will also offer a specially-priced pack that includes the 2-disc Valley of the Rats blu-ray and 2017’s House of VHS Blu-ray/DVD combo. All of these visions of the film will be available on March 27th, to fans of erotic thrillers!

The official, International trailer (very NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0bo2afUN0I

 

The film’s official synopsis: A young man is accused of his ex-girlfriend’s murder. Before he is formally charged by the police, he sets out on a two-day odyssey to find the real killer: tracking down his leads from the backseat of a rented limousine. This allows him to converse and ponder class, society, life in the city, and to contemplate the dirt that runs in the small nooks and valleys of cosmopolitan life. Mid-way through the film, the style transforms into Brivido Giallo contemporary, wordless operatic imagery of sex and violence.

 

Release Date: March 27th, 2018 (Blu-ray)

 

Director/writer: Vince D’Amato.

 

Cast: Tristan Risk, Momona Komagata, Jesse Inocalla, Lynn Lowry.

 

Shivers Entertainment (with the exclusive International cut): https://www.shiversentertainment.com/

 

Darkside Releasing: https://darksidereleasing.com/store/

Windy City Horrorama World Premiere for Female-Led Independent Horror/Comedy HOUSESITTERS

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Date:

April 28th, 2017

 

Time:

3:45 p.m.

 

Location:

The Davis Theater

4614 N. Lincoln Ave.

Chicago, IL 60625

About HOUSESITTERS:

Tomorrow Romance is proud to announce the World Premiere of Chicago-based filmmaker Jason Coffman’s feature directorial debut HOUSESITTERS will take place Saturday, April 28th at the Windy City Horrorama Film Festival held at the historic Davis Theater in Chicago. Inspired in equal measure by modern comedy like BROAD CITY and goofy horror films like GHOULIES, this female-led horror/comedy follows the misadventures of Angie (Annie Watkins) and Izzy (Jamie Jirak) as they take on a plum housesitting gig that kind of spirals into supernatural horror. HOUSESITTERS has been submitted to a number of 2018 festivals in advance of a VOD release later this year.

 

The cast of HOUSESITTERS also includes Peter Ash, Jay J. Bidwell, Bethanie Louise, Mariah Michael, James Timothy Peters, and Ben Schlotfelt. The film features a creature puppet designed and built by Ohio-based independent filmmaker Dustin Wayde Mills (THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE). Behind the camera, Jolene Vega served as cinematographer with Jef Burnham as assistant director and Tatiana von Recklinghausen as lead makeup/effects artist. The soundtrack includes a score by Chicago-based Joshua Burke (who records under the name boardinghouse), with songs by Black Candles, Desire (courtesy of Italians Do It Better), Inner Vegas (courtesy of Good Glass), and Night Witch.

 

About Windy City Horrorama:

The inaugural Windy City Horrorama, presented with support from horrorsociety.com, is a weekend-long celebration of the DIY spirit of independent genre filmmaking. We believe the horror crowd is a special and valuable one, dedicated to mutual support, inclusion, and driven by sheer enthusiasm. From the hardworking hands that make the films, to the enthusiastic audiences that come out in droves to see them, Horrorama sets out to honor them all in a weekend of fun and frights at the newly re-opened Davis Theater in Chicago’s gorgeous Lincoln Square neighborhood.

 

Trailer links:

https://vimeo.com/255551608

https://youtu.be/_RQLg13ZGm0

 

Film site:

http://www.housesittersmovie.com

 

IMDB:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5953278/

 

Windy City Horrorama:

http://www.windycityhorrorama.com

https://www.facebook.com/windycityhorrorama/

 

Director’s statement:

I’m a huge horror fan, and I watch a lot of independent horror movies. Far too many indie horror filmmakers make familiar zombie or slasher movies. With HOUSESITTERS, I wanted to do something that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is a fast, fun showcase for the talents of our fantastic cast and crew. We shot HOUSESITTERS on a minuscule budget (that mostly went toward buying food for everybody on shooting days) with a lot of hard work on a tight schedule. I’m proud as hell of everybody who helped out in front of and behind the camera, and I can’t wait to share it with everyone!

 

The Five Rules of HOUSESITTERS:

I have watched many independent horror films over the years, and this experience has helped me figure out both what I want to do and–perhaps more importantly–what I do not want to do. While putting together HOUSESITTERS, I set down some ground rules before writing in order to help set it apart from many other independent horror films (and debut features in any genre). These rules were:

 

  1. Keep it short.Part of the practical function of a debut feature is just to prove to yourself and others that you can actually complete a movie, and you don’t necessarily need 100+ minutes to prove that point.
  2. Keep it simple.Minimal locations, characters, and effects help keep the project feasible and realistic. These things also help you make a tight schedule that you can stick to for the whole shoot. It’s a lot easier to finish a sprint than a marathon with no concrete finish line.
  3. No explicit violence against women.Too many independent movies are reliant on violence towards women, whether it’s a zombie movie, a slasher, or a serial killer “thriller.” There’s too much of that in the real world and in film history, so there’s no need to add any more.
  4. No guns. Guns are often a quick way to get yourself out of narrative problems and frequently are used gratuitously to just look cool. Also if you live in the United States, you’re bombarded with gun stuff all the time. Give the viewer a break from seeing guns for a little bit.
  5. Have fun!A lot of independent horror films take themselves far too seriously, and combined with overlong run times this turns a lot of them into joyless slogs. Instead of trying to be as unpleasant as possible or make a serious statement, have fun and try to convey that fun and make it infectious for your audience.

 

Attached stills & image information:

  1. Angie (Annie Watkins) and Izzy (Jamie Jirak) consider some weirdness in the basement.
  2. Lil’ Bastard (designed and built by Dustin Wayde Mills) peeks in through a cracked door.
  3. Zack (Peter Ash), Izzy (Jamie Jirak), and Angie (Annie Watkins) deal with some supernatural unpleasantness.
  4. Cindy (Mariah Michael) is amused and grossed out by something her friend Carol just said.
  5. Dan (Jay J. Bidwell) is not sure what is going on.

 

Illustrated poster art by Andrew Tarusov: www.tarusov.com (NSFW)

 

HOUSESITTERS – Horrorama Laurels: Official press still with Windy City Horrorama selection laurels.