Gross Movie Reviews #559

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Gross Movie Reviews #559

Ten Little Indians (DVD) – This late 80s remake based on a play stars the late great Donald Pleasence, Paul Smith, and Frank Stallone are part of a group of people who go on an African safari courtesy of a Mr. Owen. Every person is there for good reason but only Mr. Owen knows but as they try to enjoy their trip they begin to be murdered one by one. Their only chance of survival is figuring out who is Mr. Owen? The film was okay as it had a good group of character actors but Frank Stallone as the lead seems to sink this relative unknown fourth version of the film as I can only give it 2 stars.

Major Grom: Plague Doctor (VOD) – First thing before you go into this Russian action flick is: don’t look at it as a superhero film as it has the elements but doesn’t behave like one. Second, I absolutely enjoyed the character of Igor Grom! Grom is a no non-sense cop who isn’t happy with the justice system but believes in what he does every day busting criminals. After a high-profile case where a rich young man gets off but is killed by a vigilante, Grom takes upon himself to investigate and bring down this person. But the pressure is on as the public is for the vigilante and Grom is looked down upon until he can find evidence to bring this person to justice. This fun Russian action film has a couple cool minor plot twists, a cool villain, and the last quarter of the film turns into ‘The Purge’. Again if you go into this not expecting a superhero film you will indeed enjoy this treat that needs more PR than it has gotten as I have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Atomic Eden (DVD) – This 2015 film has Fred Williamson putting together a team of mercs for a dangerous mission in Chernobyl. Their mission is to retrieve an old suitcase from a mining shaft that was actually a Nazi lair! Lorenzo Lamas shows up for a hot minute to not be pleased with the result when Williamson’s character returns. If you enjoy films with just scene after scene of martial arts you will most likely enjoy this mess or if you are me it felt like Nintendo’s Double Dragon game where the bad guys are unlimited but die the same three ways no matter what as I give this 2 stars.

Meathook Massacre 3: First Hunt (VOD) – After having two films about a cannibal killer named Bubba killing everyone out on a farm this film intends in trying to give some backstory. This film gives you the origins of Bubba’s family and how he got started in his murderous ways of hunting humans and using them as meat. I cringe watched my way through this as I hope it would get better but it didn’t as I have to give 0 stars.

White Fire (VHS/YouTube) – This foreign mid-80s flick has a brother/sister combo (Bo and Ingrid) stealing some diamonds from a diamond plantation but they run into a group of baddies that want in on their action? When Bo and Ingrid deceive them the baddies come to their adopted parents’ home and kill Ingrid. End of the movie right? Nope, as a woman comes upon Bo in a bar one evening and Bo and his partner convince her to get some plastic surgery to look like Bo’s sister! This “incest” of a plan is all about a bigger plan to go steal the mysterious “White Fire” diamond that was recently discovered. The movie can be dull at times but we get Robert Ginty fighting a dude with a chainsaw, a death by a band saw, and the great Fred Williamson collecting a paycheck as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

Lady Dragon (DVD) – Another Cynthia Rothrock film with Richard Norton where Cynthia plays a woman Kathy whose husband was murdered on her wedding day a year ago. Now Kathy is in Indonesia tracking the arms dealer who killed her husband only to have her life threaten before she can avenge her husband. So Kathy hangs out with non-verbal Grandpa to learn his fighting ways so she can kick this dude’s ass. Robert Ginty shows up long enough to be gunned down as part of the payback as I can only this action film 2 stars.

The Amityville Haunting (DVD) – This 2011 entry is just pure hot garbage as it tries to connect the original events of the home from the mid-70s to present day home in 2011 more than some past entries. Meet Tyler the young son with a camera that films all the weirdness that happens in the haunted home for this insulting found footage film. Twenty minutes in I knew watching this movie was a mistake so good luck as I give it 0 stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #558

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Gross Movie Reviews #558

Antlers (DVD) – This depressing story takes place in a dying rural town where a father and his youngest son come back from an old shut down mine shaft with something extra. Three weeks later this thing they brought home is hiding inside them and the other son is taking care of them keeping them locked up knowing something isn’t right. He feeds them roadkill or stuff he catches in the woods after school. After a teacher gets worried and explains to the school principal that maybe someone should look into it the principal eventually goes for a welfare check on young Lucas. Of course this goes horribly wrong and she accidentally lets out what now has turned the father into a mythical creature. The creature is loose and now leaving a bloody trail of bodies with Lucas and his teacher not sure what to do? A deep, dark, bloody fun creature film that horror fans should be happy with as I give it 3 stars.

The Bat Whispers (YouTube) – This 1930 film is an absolute treat of a film that combines elements of ‘Clue’, ‘The Murder on the Orient Express’, and your classic “Who Dun it?” stuff before it was a thing. An unknown figure/master criminal only known as “The Bat” terrorizes the big city authorities by stealing some famous jewels and robbing a city bank for fun. But to give it a twist he sends the authorities a note saying he is leaving the big city? The bat heads to a big mansion outside of Oakdale where supposedly there is money hidden within the mansion. This is where it gets to be a lot of fun as the viewer is introduced to several characters that all would have motive to steal the blueprint of the mansion to find the money and any could be the “bat” or be helping him. Lots of fun confusion, great dialogue setting up the climatic ending, and for a very early film still found this classic super entertaining as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (On Demand) – It took 30 years or so for them to return but they finally found a way to do it right. Egon had become a recluse or known as “the dirt farmer”. But he disappeared for good reason as he seen something coming and was trying to protect us all. Meanwhile after his death his daughter and kids struggling to pay bills and having a place to live inherit the “the dirt farm”. As they settle in they slowly uncover that their father/grandfather made his place out in the middle of nowhere for a good reason to set up a fun and exciting story that ‘Ghostbusters’ fans cannot complain about. If you are a fan and start bitching about this film then nothing was ever gonna make you happy and maybe you should just stop watching movies and find another hobby as I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (DVD) – This twisted early 80s film feels like a TV horror movie that deals with a boy named Billy who lost his parents to an accident when young and must live with his aunt. 14 years have passed and Billy is all grown up and getting excited of the possibility of leaving for college next year with his girlfriend. But Billy’s aunt isn’t your average aunt as the story unfolds it is quickly revealed that Billy’s aunt is sadistic and might not be the caring aunt all believe she is? Aunt Cheryl isn’t ready for her Billy to leave so she stops at nothing to ensure he will never leave her. This film has everything to make a cringe worthy movie worth seeking out: a bigot detective believing Billy is gay, an aunt that is sadistic and might be into incest before PornHub, and a couple fun minor twists that in the end everyone gets what they deserve as I give this interesting flick 3 stars. A couple fun facts: first, the film was also known as ‘Night Warning’ and second, look for Bill Paxton playing Eddie a high school bully/basketball teammate.

Post-Apocalyptic Desperation (YouTube) – Talented filmmaker from overseas Alex Wesley has a new film that deals with a soldier trapped in a different dimension that is completely war torn and he is just trying to survive to find answers. The soldier is subjected to cannibalism, torture, and the horror of living in a world full of radioactivity with no chance of survival as this is the end of the human race. Love the visuals and locations, but the dialogue might be lost some in translation but overall this is a solid film for us post-apocalyptic movie fans. The only real complaint was the film felt unfinished even though it clocks in about 58 minutes or so (or what is considered feature-length by some these days), like there was still an ending to come but doesn’t? Either way Alex Wesley is another filmmaker out there that always impresses me with their work and cannot wait to see more as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Wet Ones (DVD) – Filmmaker known as “Wig Wolf” put together a chaotic mess of short films into one continuous movie that runs a whopping 2 ½ hours. The filmmaker does this little story/or vignettes with Barbie dolls, action figures, random film clips, blood, murder, and fake Elvis. Now, if Wig Wolf would have gone with doing a live action version of ‘Turbo Teen’ you would have had me selling this movie everywhere but that is just showing my age… Anyway, you can call it chaos, you can call it garbage, but I do know this wasn’t my cup of tea once I finished it. But in a world consumed by social media apps and posts I could easily see this being a popular thing if broken down and sold as episodic TV on a YouTube or another streaming service? All I can say people I do know there is an audience out there, it just may take some time for them to find it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Edge of Honor (VHS/YouTube) – An early 90s action/adventure film that deals with Corey Feldman and friends who are “Explorers” aka Boy Scouts out in the Pacific Northwest who find Don Swayze’s stash of military weapons in an old shed in the woods. Swayze and friends are pissed when the weapons are moved because the boys hide them and wanna be heroes when they get to the police. But all goes wrong when Swayze and friends start killing everyone and do not expect the scouts to fight back to survive these backwoods idoits. A fun movie about gunrunners vs. the boy scouts with Corey stealing some scenes along the way as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #557

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Gross Movie Reviews #557

House of the Damned (DVD) – This early 60s creep fest has a man named Scott doing a favor for a friend by going to this out of the way place to do an architectural survey of a coastal castle. Once Scott retrieves keys to the “Rochester Place” some strange things seem to be happening but nothing too scary until a woman disappears. After some investigation we come to found out the castle was a haven for carnival workers who no longer had a home. Spooky with an odd ending makes me give this oddity 2 ½ stars.

Voodoo Apocalypse (DVD) – An independent production filmed in Spain with an ambitious idea of a Grindhouse film set in 1979 Mexico. Two cops: White Chocolate and Charlie Vargas team up to bring down an elusive drug dealer Jimmy Vanilla. The film loses some steam over time but overall is still a fun production that looks mostly watered down to American audiences since the theme has been done to death but I still give it 2 stars.

Piranha (DVD) – Another 70s film of the same name but has no relation to the wonderful Corman flick that stars William Smith as a bad ass hunter in Nicaragua. A brother/sister combo head to the jungle for a photo shoot and run across this bad ass hunter character in a bar and quickly become friends. Everything is pretty innocent enough until the hunter wants more and makes the siblings his prey. A slow build up but a fun payoff for this early 70s flick that I give 2 stars too.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (DVD) – This late 50s flick centers on a new wildlife officer working the swamp country where he believes a monster might be killing off local folk? Problem becomes very convincing when the locals see tentacles attacking and not the usual hungry gators! These monstrous things are kidnapping people so they will be food for these things later on as I give this executive produced Corman drive-in special 2 ½ stars.

Bleeding Steel (DVD) – A newer Jackie Chan film where after a huge shootout with Jackie and his team trying to protect a doctor and his experiment in protective custody. Shit goes south pretty quick and gets brutal… 13 years later and the fallout continues when this mad evil genius villain dude is in Sydney, Australia tracking down a teenager who supposedly has been implanted with the bio-blood and experimental heart. She is able to regenerate if needed reason for the evil genius tracking her down how many years later. After all these years Jackie Chan is still protecting her and can still kick ass at his advanced age as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Sudden Death (DVD) – Valarie Wells is a successful woman who one evening gets beat up and raped by two men who stole a taxi. With the lack of police help she of course goes all ‘Death Wish’ on dudes as she tracks down the two hoodlums who screwed her up. She gathers such a kill count she becomes known as “the dum dum killer”. No JCVD here but this 1985 direct-to-video flick packs enough revenge killings to keep the older audience interested as I give this lesser known VHS treat 2 ½ stars.

Blitz (DVD) – Jason Statham is a bad ass cop who gets the job done even if it means coloring outside the lines a bit but never crossing the line. He is warned by his superiors to keep a low profile after the latest incident has hit the papers but he is quickly brought back into the fold when a young man decides to be a cop killer. Barry wants to be known and wants to kill all cops brutally. Your usual cookie cutout action flick but Jason Statham always seems to make even the average action cop flicks worth watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (On Demand) – HOLY F’N SHIT! It took 24 years but yinz finally made a movie that is worthy of the games. There is no Ali Larter or Milla whoever… Point is yinz went with the idea of combining the first two games, making the film R-rated, and presto we finally got the horror film we all deserved. No, the films isn’t perfect but after what six, seven F’N ‘Resident Evil’ films I can actually sit and enjoy one… Yes kids, go support this so we get the sequel that is needed as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Candyman (On Demand) – So what do we call it? Remake, sequel, continuation… whatever you the viewer wanna call it, I want to call it a good movie. I enjoyed the respect the original got and how this present story not only connects to the original but ties in some of the social things of today’s world. I enjoyed the snide comments about present day things because they are all very relevant. It has been 30 years since the Candyman has been present but when a struggling artist finds the old ghetto of Chicago he falls down the rabbit hole of bringing Candyman to light again. I enjoyed the first film and I enjoy this film all the sequels are just filler but to the new viewers this should make you want to introduce yourself to Tony Todd and the underrated character of “Candyman” as I give this 3 stars.

Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (DVD) – Oh shit kids yinz need to see this as this sci-fi craziness from the mid-60s stars Basil Rathbone (go look that one up young people?) and it is set in year 2020! Fuck yeah I am in! Anyhow there is Moon colonies for astronauts to hang out while they make the jump to Venus so they can explore the planet. Once there they find all kinds of late night horror host fun with dinosaurs and shit that wants to eat them! All joking aside this is a fun cheesy flick to introduce to friends who like beer and movies as I give this 3 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – Holy crap I have never reviewed the original scary fuckin house flick that didn’t just affect me but a whole generation of people. The Lutz family supposedly buys a house and within 28 days a ghost, demon, etc. makes the family move out because they will die. Now, the source material is much scarier and sketchy than the actual film now that we all know too much? The film that made haunted house flicks still a thing has lost its luster now that I am revisiting it after many years. It has a great cast but I truly believe this film is dated and no way holds better than ‘The Exorcist’ or ‘The Omen’ but that is for a whole other conversation. Not saying avoid this horror classic but unlike some other horror greats time has not been kind to this feature that stars a James Brolin and Margot Kidder as I give it 2 stars (sorry horror fans).

Inferno (DVD) – Always looking to cleanse the palate or just trying to find some action flick only two people in a basement of a home in Nebraska I came across this freaking gem starring JCVD and Danny Trejo! Oh folks, this was like the “Price is Right” of action films as it was a gaggle full actors that were looking for a paycheck show up! The review would be two pages long if I listed all the familiar faces in this… But anyway JCVD aka Eddie is riding through the desert to go see his old war buddy to give him a present and advice on a journey? But some meth heads controlled by Larry Drake interrupt this journey and steal his present. Saved by Danny Trejo, Eddie seeks revenge and turns a small town on these half-wit drug dealers. A not well-known 1999 JCVD flick that is worth the search to watch as I give it 3 stars for the mere reason you could make this a drinking game every time you named a celebrity in this shit.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Finally a new episode of our podcast is up!

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This week we have 3 more flicks to talk about.  The first being a bad movie everyone has seen… except for Tim in HOBGOBLINS.  Next we uncover another totally hidden gem that need to see the light of day on physical release in THE OTHER.  And lastly we have a haunted house flick, but with a twist.  This time it’s under water in THE DEEP HOUSE.  We as always fill you in on all the news that’s out there, and answer your listener mail.  And we answer the age old question of why does Tim have hundreds of dicks in his basement.  So download this episode or we will banish you into the Pittsburgh dick basement.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #556

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Gross Movie Reviews #556

Combat Shock (DVD) – A surprisingly different movie and caused a little backlash for its subject matter at the time when Troma picked this film up in 1986. This well done gritty flick centers in on a Vietnam vet Frankie and gives you a typical day in the life of Frankie’s harsh reality. It has been several years since Frankie has been back from the war but like a lot of vets he still has trouble adjusting. Frankie just wants to have a steady job and paycheck to take care of his family. But at some point drugs, no money, depressing family life of no hope gets to Frankie and drives him to suicide after a series of crazy, dark series of events. There is no happiness in this gritty dark film just a man slowly going insane because he cannot adjust to society. I give the film 3 stars and there is an extra loaded two-disc version available from Troma.

Strange Nature (DVD) – A film based on recent events in the Northern mid-west has a middle-aged mother Kim and her son Brody moving in with dad. Dad or Pops as he is called lives in a small rural town where most people keep to themselves as Kim hoped to avoid this. Kim has a history with the town and would like to avoid talking the past but doesn’t take long for her to stir up some shit when she becomes intrigued with some deformed frogs found in the woods. At the same time there has been a few locals going missing and never really explained at the same time as Kim thinks they can be linked somehow. All this weirdness seem to start happening when American Patriot Chemicals introduced a new product into the ecosystem and now there is parasites, deformed babies, among other things being found. The film has a solid cast and a great monster payoff that makes this lesser known recent horror flick worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

Bone (DVD) – Always read about this 1972 Cohen flick starring Yaphet Kotto as Bone as I finally found time to sit and watch it fully for the first time. We are introduced to a supposedly wealthy couple hanging at the pool until Bone comes by to introduce himself by removing a rat out of the pool filter. This sets up a 90 minute story of a man holding up a rich couple for money and possible rape? But that is where the film decides to take a weird left turn has the viewer take a leap down the rabbit hole as Bone comes up with a plan when he finds out the couple are actually not that rich and might be crazier than anyone thought. Instead ruining more of this fun low budget surprise I leave you with this when you watch it… did the Bone character ever exist? Now think about that after you have watched this interesting gem as I give it 3 stars.

Toolbox Murders 2 (DVD) – What in the hairy nutsack was I thinking when I watched this? Oh yeah, it is a sequel, you got me. Anyhow, a lunatic that is connected to a pair of sisters who decides to kill one and keep the other as a pet and torture her in his home made ‘Hostel’ dungeon. I feel like I should love this movie but instead I found myself so completely bored I feel asleep several times trying to get through this piece of trash. Everyone consider yourself warned about this film because the sister that is kept for the dungeon should have been purged from the script before this garbage hit production as I give this 0 stars.

Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.  

13 Slays Till X-mas (Blu-ray) – A group of regular drinkers at the bar decide to tell each other stories on Christmas Eve night. An old holiday tradition according to one bar patron, as these fine folks decide to restart it. Each gets to tell two stories a piece and whoever has the worst has to pay for all the drinks. There isn’t a weak story of the bunch and a lot of good Indy talent involved in this project but wasn’t a fan of the ending of this anthology as it felt forced. But if interested the two stories from mall Santa at the bar were my favorite as one includes an evil twin of Santa Claus as I give the holiday film 2 ½ stars.

Matrix Resurrections (HBO/Max) – Things have changed now, “The Matrix” doesn’t exist, something else does and Neo and his girlfriend have been kept asleep to power the real reality. This film goes back to the first movie to explain what happened to Neo after he was first awaken and changed things for the good between man and machines. Bottom line it is fun sci-fi goobly gook that the movie nerds should enjoy. I was never a fan of the sequels but always enjoyed the first film and liked where they went with this latest entry. Need some mindless sci-fi in your life look no further as I give the latest entry 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #555

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Gross Movie Reviews #555

The Virus (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst busy as ever has released his latest short film that deals with the post-apocalyptic theme or recent times and its effect on a person. Earth has been devastated by biological weapons and a man who is all alone just wants to end the madness on his own terms. A bleak but very realistic look at the world right now as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tower Rats (YouTube/DVD) – To even give this mess of a Kevin Walter film a chance you have to imagine if Troma ran Tik Tok and made an anthology film using the things Troma fans posted. What seems like a miss-mash of no plot is a long string of weirdo short films pretty much only hardcore Troma fans will enjoy. It all seems to be set in the Tower District if that means anything to yinz and about ¾’s of the way into the film is that the ‘Puppet Master’ I am hearing? Kudos to Kevin for getting this all together for hardcore Troma fans but outside of them it’s gonna be hard to explain something like this to more mainstream film fans as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. 

Open House (Vimeo) – Matt Cannon from ‘Hexercise’ fame has another short film that has made its way on a recent Indy anthology that concerns a young lady named Sue. She is being trained to sell homes. When Sue is hazed by co-workers with a mask and robe in the home she is cleaning up, Sue is startled and her past comes back to haunt her co-workers. Matt’s latest effort is simple and to the point as Mr. Cannon continues his filmmaking career along with his successful composing music for film career. I give the short film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. 

The Pizzagate Massacre (DVD) – Our story begins in 2018 at a TV station where the Terri Lee show is set up and Karen Black (filmmaker/journalist) has started her new job. After dropping her headset during a live feed hearing startling news about the Illuminati conspiracy, Tootz Pizza, and children who are being used as sex slaves in the basement of this Austin, Texas pizza shop. Karen is fired but distraught by this news so of course she hires a white militia dude named Duncan to help her get proof of the lizard people touching little kids at a pizza shop! Duncan and Karen drive from Waco to Austin only to find out it’s not true but it also all goes bad in a shootout because a member of the same militia follows them and kidnaps Karen setting off a wild police chase and ending to this crazy but all but true ending as I give this interesting gem 3 stars.

Hellblock 13 (DVD) – Gunnar Hansen, Debbie Rochon, 1999, sounds like wonderful ingredients to an awesome anthology… Mostly the film comes off generic with the best performances from the two already mentioned stars that have story time before an execution. The stories are not horrible but fail to make a viewer wanna rewatch the stories being told again and again like a ‘Creepshow’ or ‘Tales from the Darkside’ as I give this anthology 2 stars.

Maniac Killer (DVD) – Bo Svenson, Chuck Connors, and Robert Ginty star in this French thriller about an escort disappearing one evening that becomes a small string of disappearances. A Professor Osborne is being wrongly accused of murder and kidnapping because of the man keeping to himself for his experiments. People who live nearby claim he is doing human experiments but the truth is Robert Ginty is to blame as he plays “creepy guy with dungeon” who believes he and his followers are purifying the evil from the French hookers. Weirdness, a couple solid actors, this is worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

Honkey Holocaust (DVD) – In case you been missing out on filling your exploitation film needs this recent Indy feature does its best to intrigue you then? It is set in late 60s California where in an alternate universe The Manson Family (big strike against any filmmaker attempting to add to this turd of legacy) gets away with murder and builds a bunker. The family heads underground where Charles dies in 1979 from poor conditions but some of his clan survives including a daughter of Charles. But here is already a problem kids? If Charles died after a decade of poor conditions how didn’t the rest of the clan die? But hey, don’t let a bad plot get in the way of telling your story. After a few decades the clan comes out of the bunker to witness the “Race War”? Problem, white people are now the minority and it’s all about a prophecy being fulfilled. Kendra Manson wanders away from her clan to learn about the new world and meets a black man named Lucius who she falls in love with. Kudos for putting together an exploitation that most likely will find a cult audience but you lost me at “Manson Family” as I give this 1 ½ stars.

The Horror of it All (DVD/YouTube) – This 1964 British oddity stars Pat Boone of all people who is Jack Robinson and on his way to see his soon to be wife Cynthia. Cynthia is hanging out at the family estate because she has plans of her own before getting married but Jack cannot wait. This film is comedy of horrors that feels like an early film version of “Clue” as the family is being murdered one by one and Jack believes they all are trying to murder him before his marriage. A hilarious horror/comedy where not only Pat Boone breaks into song you can see tropes set up for future horror/comedies as I give this well worthy gem 3 stars.

The Neptune Factor (DVD) – An early 70s underwater adventure about a sea exploration crew having trouble when an earthquake on the ocean floor happens. The earthquake topples the sea lab off the edge of the ocean floor into an abyss. After a few days search by the Canadian Navy it is time for “the Neptune”. A well-equipped vessel that could conquer the deep sea for its daring rescue. The first half of the film is all about set up then the second half turns into a NatGeo special of underwater adventure with the rescue happening in the last four minutes of the film. If you like Ernest Borgnine and PG-rated undersea drama you may be in for a treat as I give it 2 ½ stars.           

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2021” list!

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Best horror films of 2021

1) CarousHell the 2nd (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski gave us crazy Indy horror fans ‘House of 1000 Corpses’ with his first entry ‘CarousHell’, five years later Steve figured out a way with the sequel to give us ‘The Devil’s Rejects’. And if yinz get that reference then you know you are in for one hell of a ride with this project. Our famous killer carousel unicorn Duke, is back and it begins with Nazis as Duke has just found out he has a son he nothing about. Duke learns about Robbie and tries to make amends but Duke’s past catches up with him as the Third Reich is still pissed their experiment is running free in America. These immortal Nazis want revenge against their former Alpha Solider and will stop at nothing to get their revenge even if it means kidnapping Duke’s hybrid son. Now if you just tuned into this review wondering what the hell you are reading well ‘CarousHell’ and its sequel are the ultimate weirdo horror films that really cannot be classified as anything else but “weird” and that is what makes it wonderful! This sequel reminds me of the spirit of the ‘Basket Case’ sequels where Steve is giving you the viewer something completely unexpected or at least me? Yes, there is still a carousel horse sex scene, some fine gore spots, absolutely wonderful acting from Aleen Isley, Terrence Cover, Rebecca Reinhart, and Joshua Anton just to name a few actors with perfect performances that had me laughing and entertained from beginning to end! This latest creation from Mr. Rudzinski would not surprise me at all to propel his career or at least a few phone calls from Hollywood as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and you will be seeing it in my “Top 5 movies of 2021” for sure! All I ask Steve remember us little people… and send beer! Now congrats on one fucking awesome movie!

2) Slaxx (Shudder) – Libby is a young lady who is lucky enough to be starting a new job at a super popular clothing store “CCC”. The store is all about a better tomorrow using experimental cotton for their new killer jeans “Super Shapers”! These pants are amazing as they will fit male or female, overweight or underweight and make you look wonderful. Unaware the employees who try to see how the jeans fit before anyone else get murdered by the experimental pants as they want revenge. To compound the problem once Libby and employees figure this out the store is on lockdown and makes it impossible to call authorities in. On the other hand Libby’s manager is all about saving the store so he can be promoted and sell the shit out of these jeans when morning hits no matter how many people die. The film has some inventive kills, touches upon a lot of millennial themes, and at about the 40 minute mark the film goes completely bonkers which just excited me! Where films like the overrated ‘Rubber’ and lackluster ‘Killer Sofa’ fail, ‘Slaxx’ puts on a show as I give one of the best films of 2021, 4 stars.

3) Benny Loves You (On Demand) – Meet Jack, a 35 year old who lives with his parents and is a junior toy designer whose parents still celebrate Jack’s birthday as if he was a child. But this year is different as the parents die accidentally while preparing for his birthday. Nothing is going right for Jack so now alone he decides he wants to improve his life and this means getting rid of everything including his childhood toy that he still has. The toy’s name is Benny and doesn’t like it too much he is about to be thrown out but also wants Jack to be happy again? From here Jack is sent into a downward spiral of death and despair as anyone that comes to the home or Jack doesn’t like Benny slices and dices them. As the bloodbath ensues in a weird way Benny helps Jack get his job back with new designs based on Benny… The horror film is a wonderful insane oddity of gore that needs to be witnessed as this will be one of the best horror films I will watch in 2021 and for that I give it 4 stars.

4) Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Cannibals and Zombies Collection (DVD) – Addison Binek is riffing a collection of movies again but these are not just any movies… They are zombie and cannibal movies! What makes this a unique rough ride is Addison takes you through some the lesser known, grittiest, maybe even crappiest off the wall flesh-eating hilarity you have ever witnessed. You’ll laugh, you will most likely cry over what Addison and you will sit through but it will be fun as I give this collection 4 stars as usual.

5) Lost in Cleveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudzinski’s latest short film about Ben and Blake who are “business partners” that travel to Cleveland for a movie gig? Ben is the actor and Blake is the partner that wanted to come along but bored as his partner can be out for long hours or days at a time during these movie shoots. Blake meets Steve the filmmaker while lurking around sadly around the hotel. The two hit it off immediately and discuss how they are very similar in how they view their relationships right now and decide to spend lots of time together. This 19 minute short is brilliant and for Indy fans who have not seen any of Steve’s past work this would be a great introduction to Steve Rudzinski and BPO films project libraries as they are some of the best talent the Indy film world has to offer as I give this 4 out of 4 stars! This and more can be found at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

6) People to Kill (DVD) – Apparently this was Adam S. Clevenger’s first effort out as he wrote and directed this interesting thriller. Shawn and two brothers still live and hang with their father as their mother died five years ago after reading about the “Lullaby Killer”. The family still trying to move on has their usual squabbles and Shawn gets a lot of the blame from his father. Shawn runs a Star Trek themed store called “Starbase”. This makes for some hilarious scenes with the customers and Shawn’s father while Shawn runs for coffee. Along the way he helps out the local hooker (Erin R. Ryan) who has an issue with her pimp. Shawn felt the need to step in as he has seen her every day for the past few months hanging out near his store. They quickly strike up a friendship and things get very complicated as that is about all I can say as a major twist happens. I didn’t exactly see this twist coming maybe you will but either way this film is an absolute gem of an independent feature. Mr. Clevenger wrote an excellent script, and casted an excellent group of actors that should be applauded for pulling off a great performance. Erin R. Ryan is always a wonderful presence on screen but all involved were equally great. There was only one thing bad that I could say about the film and that is the length (2 hours and 14 minutes). Now most cases there isn’t enough story to fill 70, 80, or even 90 minutes but this surprisingly had it but felt the 20 minute strip club could have been cut down. I totally understand why it wasn’t edited because there is some important dialogue that happens but felt at some point Adam could have moved on. If this was Adam’s first effort out then count me in for the future as I can see some entertaining stuff coming this dude as I give this must have film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Good chance this shows up on my “Best of 2021 watched list”.

7) Bloody Hell (DVD) – Rex just so happens to live in Boise, Idaho, just trying to hit on the cute bank teller at his bank until a robbery happens and that is where Rex’s life changes. Instead just lying down giving up his money Rex having military training decides he can kick some ass or at least that is what his other self that Rex speaks to on a regular basis convinces him of doing. Problem is Rex gets 8 years for wrongful death even though he is considered a hero by most around town. Eight years later, Rex gets released from prison and decides he wants out of Boise and wants a fresh start in Finland. Problem Rex’s life only gets worse as he is kidnapped by a weird ass family who feeds their inbred monster son and now has Rex hanging up in their basement missing part of his leg. Once Rex calms down a bit his inner self and he come up with a plan to escape and kill the family! I absolutely enjoyed this flick as it reminded me of a ‘Hardcore Henry’ and I talk to myself way too much because I work alone way too much, anyway I give this film 4 stars all the way for giving a horror fan something fun, strange, and well-crafted.

8) The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.

9) Feaster Sunday (YouTube/DVD) – A not so typical independent holiday horror film where a man, Dr. Gideon Lear is putting forth his best effort to put on “The Passion” play at the community theater that hasn’t happened in twenty years. Lear wants perfection out of his actors as he explains in his recent interview with Eddie from the local Public Access Channel. Neither Lear nor his actors seem to be too concerned with the history of the play as “the show must go on”. Meanwhile Eddie sees someone he knows among the actors, Tess, and they reconnect after Tess is dropped by her boyfriend Reen because he needs his full attention on playing Jesus. As time goes on actors for the play disappear, warnings for the play “not to go on” are ignored, and Dr. Lear begins his struggle to keep the production together. There is a whole lot of crazy going on in this flick that just made me giddy to watch! Wonderful casting choices (Dave Parker as the original Jesus, brilliant), great script, cool puppets, and a low budget production that felt bigger than it was should get some mainstream respect as I give this excellent production 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

10) Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Notable films of 2021:

The Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre (On Demand) – Well I gotta say this was an unexpected fun horror gem about a wrestling tag team in New Mexico wrestling called “The Manson Brothers”. This rugged tag team has been around for three decades now and knows all the ins and outs of independent wrestling feds. After a well-received tag match they are offered a big money cage match at midnight on Halloween. Of course they say yes but that is only part of the story as things get weird as some of the wrestlers have been taking some of the Chinese HGH to stay big for the ring. Now to complicate the issue with wrestlers taking the HGH and causing a zombie issue, there is a horrible hurricane that has locked down everything! So The Manson Brothers must fight their way through a horde of flesh eaters inside the wrestling building and forget about the main event. The movie has lots of great zombie gore gags, wonderful story telling (someone knows some of the behind the scenes stuff of wrestling), and the supporting cast in D.B. Sweeny, Mindy Robinson, and Randy Couture make this an unexpected horror gem and would love to see a sequel if it is done with the same spirit and passion this project was as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Beyond Dark Dreams (DVD) – So apparently independent filmmaker Joseph Russio lost this film about six years ago and only recently finished it when he found all the footage for it again. He may have lost it because this film will fuck with your mind! Russio wrote and directed this feature about a writer putting himself in an old dark house so he can get past his writer’s block… maybe? After a investigating a couple odd noises in the house that makes the writer more fascinated with the house than his writing he comes back to a needle full of green stuff? So of course the writer introduces this unknown drug into his system in hopes of inspiration or the next life. We as does the writer from here witnesses acts of cruelty, the macabre, and the truly bizarre. When it ends I believe the movie allows you to decide if it was all a dream, it really did happen to the writer, or Joseph just giving us a mindfuck of a film that really has no ending that lets you be the judge? I was super confused as it ended but was happy I got to watch this quite odd independent film that had wonderful music, production, and a story I can see people talking about even a few years from viewing it as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Werewolves Within (DVD) – Beaverfield is a small mountain town that needed a new forest ranger who went missing recently and Finn Wheeler is the man for the job. Finn is transferred and is getting the lay of the land by the cute postal woman who takes him around town. Finn believing his first day after the transfer was a breeze wakes up to the small community upset by a missing dog and talk of a monster or werewolf eventually. Finn thinking it’s all a misunderstanding has just stepped into a ’30 Days of Night’ style situation but with werewolves. They all believe safety is in numbers but that does not stop the werewolf from feasting on the community all held up in the Mansion Inn. Ranger Finn now must figure out who the werewolf inside the mansion is or he will be the next meal in this murder/mystery comedy with a good amount of gore. Great characters, great build up, and potential to be watched by viewers multiple times as one of their recent favorites as I give this flick 3 ½ stars. 

Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .

The Shed (DVD) – A bootleg Barlow the vampire bites a man in the woods and this man finds shelter in a shed running from this monster. From there we meet a troubled teenager named Stanley whose parents are gone and must live with his abusive grandpa. That afternoon Stanley is out back with the dog and the dog learns the hard way that there is something in the shed. Of course this doesn’t go over well with grandpa and he too finds out the hard way about the shed. Witnessing these horrific events Stanley must figure out how to keep his new pet monster a secret and how to keep him from getting out of the shed. Stanley tells his best friend about the shed monster and things just get worse from there. A simply fun, gory, little monster movie that I absolutely enjoyed watching as I give it 3 ½ stars.

The Mutilator (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit this low budget slasher film from the early 80s as I didn’t get to see it then and only learned about it in the late 90s, early 2000s when it was being found on the bootleg market. Arrow Video recently corrected this problem putting together a 2-disc “must-have” edition for any horror fan. I myself remembered liking it the first time around but it was some crappy quality. Anyway, most of the gore takes place late in the movie but is well worth the watch if you are a gorehound. A father seeks revenge on his son Ed years later after his son accidentally shoots and kills his mother with a loaded rifle. Our tale goes forward when Ed gets a call from his father to go close down his beach condo during ‘Fall Break’ (which also was the original title). Ed and his friends decide to take advantage of this and go to party before they close it up for the winter but Ed’s father has other plans. Arrow Video not only restored the original unrated version of the film cleaned it up so much it was like watching this movie again for the first time. This of course means we get to see the famous giant fish hook with the girl parts for a wonderful death scene! But Arrow Video didn’t stop there as they loaded it up with a couple funny commentaries, a feature-length documentary (which was eye-opening on the background of this film), original music, and alternate opening titles that played with the movie before anyone knew about it. It does not happen often but I think I like this film more now than then because of this 2-disc Blu-ray from Arrow as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Ouija Mummy (DVD) – From the same people that gave us the disappointing ‘Lycanimator’ came back a year later and gave us a no-budget treat that needs to seeked out by independent film lovers. Anyway a woman brings home some ancient jewelry from a recent Egyptian dig then commits suicide. Not too long after a young couple buys the house and moves in and have a house warming party. Of course Natalie’s guy wants to make her happy and after finding the artifact in the home gives it to Natalie as a house warming gift. Between this and Natalie’s obsession with wanting to play with an Ouija board during the party cause a royal demon to possess Natalie’s body and terror ensues! You will notice a lot of cool Indy names are attached to this project, some cheap but effective effects go a long way, and filmmaker and cast learning from mistakes (Lycanimator) make this a diamond in the rough independent film that not many are talking much about. I give this excellent Indy flick 3 ½ stars as I believe once the story gets going it has this cheap ‘Night of the Demons’ vibe, so enjoy!

Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.

A.M.I. (DVD) – We come to know a young female character Cassie who struggles with the death of her mom and just so happens to find a cell phone during a morning jog. She appropriately leaves it on a stump for the person who might be looking for it and as she walks away the phone asks her, “Do you need a friend?” Cassie’s best friend just showed this new app on your cell phone that once downloaded becomes your friend and knows you. This story taps right into what we all are waiting for to happen, ‘Skynet bitches!’ The A.I. has become so sophisticated it communicates, plays games, does homework, gets calls for you (Alexa anyone?), so this premise is right in the wheel house of every human on Earth. Anyway after an unsightly event with her father Cassie goes back and finds the phone is still there and answers it. This is where Cassie’s life changes especially when the phone convinces her to go off her meds and entices Cassie to kill her friends because they are not good for her! This R-rated Lifetime Network film takes Psychostalker to a whole new level as the film should be watched as a warning of what is already happening more than just another horror movie or I enjoyed the fucking shit out of this film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Spine Chiller (DVD) – An Indy retro-80s style anthology that was released a couple years ago that deserves your attention fellow yinzers. Okay, yes I know everyone is making an anthology (hell I am) and if you are doing an independent anthology production that is equal to telling people you have the ‘death curse’. But people let’s all get past that so you can enjoy this little Halloween feature that will make you throw this in your pile to watch every October! The anthology doesn’t have horror hosts but rather great story telling that has all the stories interconnecting and progressing into a fun, spooky, atmospheric ride through horror that doesn’t disappoint. The film plays it serious with all the spooky tales and I may not be a fan of the ending but this tale of Halloween is something I refuse to describe it too much because I feel it could be the next ‘ (2007) Trick ‘r Treat’ for independent fans… yes I went there as I give it 3 ½ stars.    

Hell’s Kitty (DVD) – At first glance I took this not so big budgeted horror film for “hey we hired the convention all-stars to get 30 second cameo”… But to my surprise this was a well-crafted horror film about a man Nick and his cat. Now I will say the film had my attention immediately when they casted one of my favorite porn stars Nina Hartley but it did not stop there as all the named cast actually played an essential roles which happens very rarely these days. Anyway Nick gets a cat named Angel and quickly some weird and strange things begin to happen like Satanic shit! According to a therapist the cat Angel, is stopping Nick from having a serious sexual relationship but Nick is not seeing that as he cares for Angel even Angel is slaughtering people around him. The film is wrapped up in a nice tight bow as its Nick telling a publisher the story of his possessed kitty. From Drew Marvick, to one of the Killer Klowns showing up, to Isaac and Malachai from ‘Children of the Corn’ (who made me laugh so hard I almost pissed myself), everything is wonderful, bloody, and hilarious as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Black Friday (On Demand) – First off, I laughed out when this film was announced because the title is the most overused term in our lexicon and second, and felt “Black Friday” hasn’t been relevant for several years now cause ‘online shopping’ anyone? Anyhow, setting aside my beliefs of this so-called holiday, shopping day, whatever we find ourselves watching a film about abused retail workers at ‘We Love (heart) Toys’ toy store. It is Thanksgiving night and the staff must get things set up for the madness of the “Black Friday” shoppers and horror icon Bruce Campbell plays the manager of the store. But to the dismay of shoppers and staff meteors carrying alien thing are fallen to Earth and these monstrous things from the rocks are turning humans into monsters that will stop at nothing to find other unaffected humans to add to their end creation. Lots of flying goo, monsters, and a great cast made me forget that “Black Friday” isn’t really a thing anymore and just enjoy a wonderful horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Cyst (DVD) – It is 1961 and Dr. Guy is a pimple popper dude who has an invented a machine called the “Get Gone” machine that will be the revolution of removing cysts, safely and less painful. Problem is it malfunctioned last time the patent people came through and this time it better work or they will just have Dr. Guy shut down. Meanwhile, Dr. Guy’s nurse Patty’s last day as she refuses to work with this so-called machine. So after some tinkering by Dr. Guy and a willing patient (sort of) he has a huge cyst to remove from the patient. When Dr. Guy does he unknowingly causes a mutant cyst to take a life of its own and now the people in the office are trapped with this killer mutant cyst! Think of ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ but with a cyst as I give this glorious B-movieish creature feature 3 ½ stars.

Best documentaries of 2021

Wolfman’s Got Nards (DVD) – A wonderful documentary from star Andre Gower as he documents everything that went down during the 30th anniversary and celebration of ‘The Monster Squad’. A quite in-depth look into the fans of the film, the history of the bootlegs, Fred Dekker thinking it failed, and who were behind bringing the creatures to life on screen. This documentary is an absolute treat to watch as I give it 4 stars.

The Golden Age of Horror Comics I & II (YouTube) – An independent documentary created by Zane Whitener that possibly takes the deepest dive into horror comics I have ever seen. The creator spends a lot of time on the 40s and 50s horror comics because of Bill Gaines but also explains how all comics were changed forever. The creator literally reads some of the early comics in length just so you can feel the impact these writings had on kids and the government. The second half of the documentary talks more of how everything changed in the 70s after we got past the cheesy Batman show we all know and love. But the brilliance or hilarity of that original Batman show might have been the fallout of EC Comics? Zane practically touches upon almost every horror comic throughout the decades and their impact on the artists and fans alike. So if you got three hours to kill I highly recommend this well-produced documentary that not just celebrates horror comics but will teach you something also as I give it 4 stars.

Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (DVD) – An absolutely great and super interesting documentary about a filmmaker who made movies out of nothing during the 60s and 70s. And when he had nothing he would begrudgingly use his own money to bring his visions to life on the big screen. Most of his films were drive-in fodder but that didn’t stop him from giving audiences what they wanted: bikers, stuntmen, bad effects, gimmicks, whatever to get the picture sold! Mr. Adamson was an Indy talent like no other and made lots of friends along the way. But Al’s life was cut short by a so-called contractor he hired to work on his home. Hell, his story has been on the ID channel. The documentary is full of funny stories about his films getting made but it also chronicles the tragic event and how it was uncovered in the end. Wonderful stuff that makes me want to track down some of this filmmaker’s films as I give the documentary 4 stars.

The Town that Loved Bigfoot (DVD) – A hilarious and perfect documentary for all about a small southern town that has embraced Bigfoot! The town is Evergreen, Alabama where a newspaper article was written there several years ago about a strange creature being seen near town and from there the legend has grown. There are interviews with locals, hunters, Bigfoot hunters and their experiences around the town. If ever interested in Bigfoot start with this film as I give it 4 stars.

Tales of the Uncanny (Blu-ray) – A documentary from Severin Films that covers the history of anthologies… Interesting stuff. Over 60 producers, critics, filmmakers discuss the beginning of anthologies and raise the question about their impact on the industry over the years. This wonderful documentary covers all of them and for young and old horror fans alike. Yes they talk ‘Creepshow’ but also goes through some unknown gems and discuss how some came about. They did this during the pandemic last year which adds a different quality to this documentary and separates it from your average documentary as I give it 4 stars of course.

Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Worst film:

Ebola Rex vs. Murder Hornets (DVD) – Of course you had me at the title but bottom line is this movie doesn’t live up to its title. The filmmaker missed the point of the title… ‘Ebola Rex vs. Murder Hornets’ it never happened dude. You made a 60 minute movie of filler! I love Brinke Stevens but she seems wasted in this my friend. Dustin I respect your overall work but this was a huge miss as I got to give this film 0 stars. 

It’s Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper bad movie but needs to be witnessed to believe!

Water Wars (DVD-R) – Well it took a while to track this post-apocalyptic “Corman Presents” flick down as it stars Michael Madsen, a couple Playboy Playmates, and directed by Cirio H. Santiago with Jim Wynorski stepping in after illness. Supposedly finished in 2011 but never released until 2014 but I couldn’t find a physical copy for sale or the film on any streaming sites but as usual give me time and the movie will find me. Once you get past the filler (stock footage from several Filipino post-apocalyptic films that I believe takes up half of the film) water is the only currency of course. An evil warlord Bane is hell bent on tracking down a water source and believes there is springs of fresh water hidden in the mountains but can never capture anyone that knows where it is until now. A gun for hire named Slade is hired by a beautiful lady who claims to know where this spring is if he rescues her sister from Bane. Slade does the job but now Bane and his evil followers are coming to ravage the village but not Slade and his new lady bump uglies like they were in a freakin ‘Witchcraft’ film. This was a poor excuse of a post-apocalyptic film that I should have left buried but you know me as I give it 0 stars.

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks drops a new episode

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On this episode of the podcast we cover 3 more flicks to maybe or maybe not to add to your DVD shelves.  First Tim brings a weird space flick called COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS.  Then we have a Corey Haim and an intelligent dog fighting a hairy monster in WATCHERS.  And finally we have a great chop socki flick brought to us by the great Steven Chow in KUNG FU HUSTLE, and as always we talk football, go over the news of the week, and answer your listener question.  So download this episode or our landlord will smack us upside our head.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #554

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The Lost Continent (DVD) – This feature was a Hammer presentation from 1968 directed by Michael Carreras, and it was based on the novel by Michael Wheatley. For me this was one of those deep dives of searching out something I seen part of as a kid on the old Chiller Theater and never revisited. It was time to enjoy Captain Lansen and his hidden agenda as he has a skeleton crew on a freighter is also carrying a few passengers. See Captain Lansen has taken an unsavory job that includes shipping illegal cargo to South America and a few passengers who would like to stay under the radar are on the vessel also. This illegal cargo is explosives that cannot get wet so when a hurricane warning is issued even the passengers get involved to keep the cargo from getting wet even during a mutiny by Lansen’s crew. But never mind that as we get a very cool scene of a crew member getting hung by a pulley and pulled upward to the root, fun stuff kids. Once the Captain and passengers finally abandon ship this is where the movie gets real interesting as not only are they lost at sea but run amok of killer seaweed that thirsts for human blood. If that isn’t enough Lansen and what’s left of the of the crew after finding a supposedly safe place must fight an old school Spanish army, being raided by them also, scorpion creatures, giant crabs, and more killer seaweed! The film is a bit cheesy but there is so much to digest here with the fun creatures, this Spanish army, and even the buildup of why Lansen was carrying explosives. If you go searching this was supposedly a huge budgeted film that had its share of issues but it is still a worthy fun watch of something you may have never given a second chance too as I give this 3 stars.   

The Indestructible Man (DVD) – A fun 1956 thriller that stars Lon Chaney Jr. that feels kind of like a horror movie or even a drive-in flick but plays out more like a film noir. Our boy Chaney Jr. plays a convict nicknamed “The Butcher” is about to get the last rites for his crimes when it is learned he has stashed a crapload of stolen money. But “The Butcher” is taking it to the grave until his body becomes a part of an experiment and he is revived. Now he seeks revenge and is almost completely indestructible as he can be shot, beaten, etc., and still keep ongoing like the Energizer bunny. The experiment was to cure cancer instead it brings back ‘The Indestructible Man’! A very different film you won’t expect much from but find yourself quite enjoying the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cemetery High (DVD) – This horror spoof that may or may not be best known being connected to Full Moon for the mere reason Charles Band was uncredited as an executive producer and the director just disowning the film shortly after its release. This spoof uses a gimmick at the beginning (don’t want to give it away) to set up violence and nudity throughout the film but the film centers on a group of young women who have had enough. The story begins the senior year of high school for these women when some sex crazed jocks only want to use the women for their term papers, beat them up, or the jocks are just feeling a little rapey. So the young women seek out these boys and put an end to their pathetic lives. But it doesn’t end there as they another to their group and become known as the “Scumbusters” when the local news picks up the story of them baffling local authorities with their murder spree. The young women will use whatever it takes to get their point across and kill another male: by car, by knives, guns, axes, whatever weapon that is going to get the job done. I feel the film starts off fun but just runs out of steam halfway through and becomes a chore to get to the finish as I give it 2 stars.

Black Friday (On Demand) – First off, I laughed out when this film was announced because the title is the most overused term in our lexicon and second, and felt “Black Friday” hasn’t been relevant for several years now cause ‘online shopping’ anyone? Anyhow, setting aside my beliefs of this so-called holiday, shopping day, whatever we find ourselves watching a film about abused retail workers at ‘We Love (heart) Toys’ toy store. It is Thanksgiving night and the staff must get things set up for the madness of the “Black Friday” shoppers and horror icon Bruce Campbell plays the manager of the store. But to the dismay of shoppers and staff meteors carrying alien thing are fallen to Earth and these monstrous things from the rocks are turning humans into monsters that will stop at nothing to find other unaffected humans to add to their end creation. Lots of flying goo, monsters, and a great cast made me forget that “Black Friday” isn’t really a thing anymore and just enjoy a wonderful horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Entombed (Vimeo) – A modest budgeted post-apocalyptic flick from Norway focuses in on three individuals who are trying to survive in an underground bunker. A man named Seamus just trying to survive the night of zombies finds the entrance to the underground shelter by accident and sees it as a miracle. Then Seamus meets Konrad at gunpoint that isn’t too keen on visitors and wants to know how Seamus found him and the shelter. After Seamus gains Konrad’s trust, Konrad introduces his comatose wife and Konrad does not want to leave unless he has too? But of course not everything is what it seems as Seamus doesn’t exactly trust Konrad in this underground shelter. A creepy thriller that proves all you need is location, location, and a great script that doesn’t concentrate on the zombie aspect to give you a film that shows humanity is at its worst when the chips are down as I give this tension filled flick 3 out of 4 stars and soon to be on streaming services so start looking for it kids.    

Duck! The Carbine High Massacre (DVD) – I put this flick off for years just for the mere fact it is inspired by the Columbine High School event of the late 90s. But it was time to watch it because it does have ‘massacre’ in the title. Pretty much this S.O.V. film follows two teenagers who were picked on, misunderstood for their beliefs, etc. by their peers at high school. So the two students plan their destruction of the stereotypes that have bothered them for years at school. Plain and simple it’s a low budget school shooting movie that may had message, may not? But bottom line this film is very boring and shouldn’t have lasted past the 30 minute mark. You get the point very quickly and you already know what is gonna happen in the film unless you have been living under a rock the past 25 years. Take or leave it, it happens so much over the past decade in real life and the news broadcasts being what they are the film can be pretty forgettable but I finally watched it and can only give it 1 star.

Cyst (DVD) – It is 1961 and Dr. Guy is a pimple popper dude who has an invented a machine called the “Get Gone” machine that will be the revolution of removing cysts, safely and less painful. Problem is it malfunctioned last time the patent people came through and this time it better work or they will just have Dr. Guy shut down. Meanwhile, Dr. Guy’s nurse Patty’s last day as she refuses to work with this so-called machine. So after some tinkering by Dr. Guy and a willing patient (sort of) he has a huge cyst to remove from the patient. When Dr. Guy does he unknowingly causes a mutant cyst to take a life of its own and now the people in the office are trapped with this killer mutant cyst! Think of ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ but with a cyst as I give this glorious B-movieish creature feature 3 ½ stars.

Jessicka Rabid (DVD) – Another film that I have finally tracked down that was on list is an independent film starring the likes of Trent Haaga, Elske McCain, directed by Matthew Reel and got picked up several years ago by Troma. Brad and Marley are two highly demented men who have mistreated for years a mentally challenged female named Jessicka. They have done this for such a long period of time that even the sister of the one man and the neighbor totally accept her being treated like a dog, literally! If that wasn’t enough torture for this pour girl she finds herself being sold to perform and have filmed with men porn scenes. But shortly after one of amateurish porn shoots she is bitten by a dog that may have been infected with rabies? Again another film that wastes too much time thinking they are the next great filmmaker instead of just trying to give the audience a film that is worth watching… Example: she is bitten like 15 minutes in and doesn’t go ape shit until the last seven minutes of this 82 minute film? Which also raises the question Did Jessicka actually have rabies or just loses her fucking mind after all the years of the abuse? This could be why this film didn’t have much shelf life as I give it 1 star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #553

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Gross Movie Reviews #553

The Deep House (On Demand) – A new French haunted house flick that immediately changes the rules when the haunted home is underwater. Anyway a young couple whose biggest thing is getting the clicks as they want sell their footage of haunted places to a network or be paid to have it stream as they have made it a habit to visit haunted places around the world. They hear about this underwater house in a village and seek it out only to find out it has become a popular tourist attraction. The couple meets a man who agrees to take them to a part of the lake that no one visits but there are odd stories about the family never left before they flooded the area for the dam in the 80s. The young couple dives down to check it out only to creep each other out for the footage. But as they swim deeper into the water logged home weird sounds can be heard and they follow them only to find a couple who is chained above a pentagram in a room. Of course they freak out when the creep factor is turned up past ten when the corpses’ eyes open! This haunted didn’t exactly hit the sweet spot for me but I can definitely express that the new horror fans will enjoy this scare show as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Creature From the Haunted Sea (DVD) – A fun early Roger Corman drive-in film from 1961 where a gangster is asked to smuggle loot of Cuba. Once in his possession, on a boat, and out at a sea, the crew comes up with a hoax of a sea monster to steal the loot. Problem the monster is real and begins killing the people aboard. A cheesy black and white monster romp worth seeking out to have for the home drive-ins as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Hobgoblins 2 (DVD) – Yes, the first was so bad I couldn’t stay away from the sequel which was released twenty years later in 2009. This time it begins in an insane asylum where a group of students learn about the Hobgoblins. After the mad doctor who is trying to teach the class says the name Hobgoblins three times the creatures are back to life and causing havoc. Once again the students must face their fears in order to conquer these lame creatures. The first film was bad this sequel is somehow ten times worse as I cannot recommend this as I have to give it 0 stars.

Treasure of the Amazon (DVD) – A true story based on treasure hunters in 1958 South America which apparently included the great Donald Pleasence playing an-ex-Nazi soldier who wants the treasure to restart the “Third Reich”. Anyway, three groups of people enter the jungle against all odds to find a treasure of a lifetime. The treasure is gold and diamonds but even if found the groups have to contend with the cannibal tribe that lives within the jungle. If that isn’t enough there are killer crabs as they destroy an individual. It was some pretty cool effects. The film has a few dull points but still does a solid job of giving a thrilling adventure as I give it 2 stars.

New York Ninja (DVD) – A legit ninja film from 1984 and filmmaker John Liu but it was never finished until now. The original negative was found recently, restored, voiceover work done, and some editing (which included rewriting an ending) and poof in all its glory the film has been finally released for all the ninja fans to enjoy. Of course 1984 New York is being overrun by criminal activity and John’s wife is killed while she tried to stop abduction. John learning of this tragic news takes it upon himself that New York needs a hero, a ninja hero who threatens to clean up the city of crime. His revenge is to track down criminals and try to find the big man himself “Plutonium Killer” and put an end to his carnage. This flick is outlandish fun that loses some steam getting to the finish line as I give it 2 ½ stars.

American Rickshaw (DVD) – Nothing like an Eye-talian flick set in Miami where a young dude named Scott runs an American Rickshaw as a job to put himself through college when he isn’t helping old Asian women in the rain. One night Scott gets coaxed by a beautiful lady after a ride to join her for some bumping uglies… But quickly Scott finds out he is part of amateur porn and beats the guy up with the camera. Problem is Scott grabs the wrong tape when he leaves upset and goes back to get the real tape of him on it to destroy it. Bigger problem happens because there is a hitman that was looking for a key the porn director carried and lost during the fight with Scott. Boat is on fire, cops get involved, more people die, Scott is being blamed while the hitman is trying to retrieve the key. Oh by the way the old lady Doctor Strange is in a lifelong battle with TV preacher Donald Pleasence because he is the devil who fights a snake and a cat in a 60 second segment of the movie. Yes, the movie is a complete mess but I dare you to stop watching this confusing yet entertaining action/thriller as I give it 2 ½ stars for the mess it is.

George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume Two (DVD) – Again enjoyed the stories being read by George Romero and his little quips but the stories I felt lacked passion this time around. The first segment is about three young adventures that go into a cave and do not come back the same when they need rescued. The second segment is about a professor at Sabbath Hill University who sleeps with one of his unstable students who commits suicide in his class because all in the class are not allowed to miss class and it comes back to haunt him. The third segment is about dust from the surface of Mars that is to be studied but believed by a doctor it could be a cure for cancer. So a distraught security guard steals it to cure his cancer-riddled wife only to find it has some cannibalistic effects. Maybe the stories were just dated but this sequel to the first anthology felt uninspiring as I give it 1 star.

Schizoid (DVD) – You know you are in for a crazy time when the first person listed in the credits of the film is Klaus Kinski. This creepy thriller has Kinski as a doctor who holds a therapy group session on Tuesday and Thursdays. He believes it actually works for all involved but a black gloved stalker about to be killer is tired of them all and wants them dead one by one. Letters are being sent to Julie as she has an advice column and part of the group but has a tough time getting the police to believe the letters should be taken seriously. This ‘who dun it’ flick isn’t trying to reinvent the genre but anytime you involve 1980 crazy ass Klaus Kinski you are gonna have a fun time watching that film as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!