Gross Movie Reviews #478

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Gross Movie Reviews #478

 

The Beast of 20,000 Fathoms (DVD) – A classic, a dull classic but considered a classic from the early 50s where those damn humans haven’t learned anything and have scientists testing atomic weapons in the Artic. The latest test awakens a dinosaur that is awaken from its long sleep and begins eating people and making its way to New York. The fans of this film will give you two reasons to watch it: first of course is Ray Harryhausen as this was the film that really got his name out there and second is a small role for Lee Van Cleef who became a favorite actor of many of the next two or so decades. I find it kind of dull but still a must watch every ten years or so as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Running Man (DVD) – It is 2017, and life we know it is no more as society has collapse and now run very differently. The biggest thing in this world is a game show called, “The Running Man”! It is where prisoners get a chance to live if they can make it through this dangerous course full of stalkers who are trying to kill them. A prisoner named Ben Richards played by Arnold Schwarzenegger has just happened to break out of prison with two other fellows. He has caught the eye of game show host Damon Killian. Killian wants him for the show for ratings and once he got him he was right as Ben and friends are not about to die quickly. As they begin fighting back in the course and killing stalkers they also want to find the resistance as they want to steal the uplink code for the satellite and show the people all over the world they are being lied too. An amazing action filled flick with lots of Arnie one liners, over the top violence, and sense they were not too far off predicting the future these days. 4 star flick all the way!

 

Hellboy (On Demand) – The remake, reboot whatever you want to call it that wasn’t needed. By no means is this film bad it is just Ron Perlman is ‘Hellboy’… Like Robert Englund is ‘Freddy’, and Kane Hodder is ‘Jason’. They own the role so it’s very tough to put forth a different version of that character out there to the fans. It is the retelling of the origin story of ‘Hellboy’, think “The Amazing Spider-man” it looks the same but something is missing? And in this film if it isn’t the Del Toro and Perlman tag team magic then it was the really bad CG effects at different times throughout this film. The movie is entertaining but for me at least doesn’t hold a candle to the first two films and by the way they were not that old as I give it 2 stars.

Zoombies 2 (On Demand) – Same director and writer are back with a film that doesn’t have anything to do with the oddly fun film that was released a couple years ago. This time around some poachers come to a jungle island trying to capture animals. But a special toxin that was made to shoot the animals with instead of bullets is used it turns the animals into zombie animals that are attacking any human. Here is the kicker human blood is the antidote for them. So the poachers, animal researchers, and a tough ass ranger must team up to survive this catastrophe! The first was hilarious in a good/bad way and seem to be a lot of fun where the second entry seem to maybe overthink this concept and lost its charm along the way that made horror fans interested the first time around as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Stranger Things Season 3 (Netflix) – Just like everybody else I was interested in where the Duffer Brothers go from here with the group and the alternate world that had been closed for good last season. Now summer of 1985, the group are becoming full blown teenagers and growing a part at times but when a mysterious darkness crops back into Hawkins again it gets the kids and Hopper back together again and there are RUSSIANS! For the love of Joe Pilato they open with a Day of the Dead scene and pay attention to episode six has the music. I love the series as it is fun, entertaining, and doing the 80s nostalgia right. This is four stars all the way and I believe if they are going to stick out at least one more season it would not surprise me if Chernobyl is involved? Just saying since the Duffer Brothers have made it a point of doing things in order in the 80s world… Either way like most I will be waiting the new season whenever that will be.

 

Cannibal Cop (DVD) – Another recent Donald Farmer flick that has a dirty cop in Detective Warbeck roughing up criminals in New Orleans. What the officer doesn’t know is he is being stalked by a young lady who wants to bring to light the police brutality that goes on a nightly basis. She gets footage of a drug dealer killed by Detective Warbeck but the local news station isn’t interested so the young lady still stalks him. But to Warbeck’s surprise the drug dealer has a final wish and that is to become part of the undead for revenge. Once undead he attacks and bites Warbeck making him ‘Cannibal Cop’! The usual no budget gore with lots of filler. I like the cast but what the script was most likely should have never been feature length as I give it 2 stars.

 

Finding Purpose (DVD) – A non-horror film review here which is rare for me as this flick is from John Reign who decided to make a drama on $5,000 or that is at least what IMDB claims. Anyway John wanting to dedicate his film to fallen U.S. troops and what it means to him crafts a story about two brothers and their adventure together. John Kayhill and his two Army vet buddies from their outfit 25 years ago are still trying to find where they actually fit in society as they struggle mightily. John a little more struggle than his two buddies because he has been taking care of mentally handicapped brother. The state comes in and removes Rod from John because they declare him unfit and if he doesn’t get his act together he will also be homeless. Distraught and not knowing what to do he speaks with his two buddies who help craft a plan for John to go get his brother from the group home 20 miles away. After police get wind of the escape they now start investigating the whereabouts of the two. Both John and Rod get into some heated trouble just trying to stay together and doing the right thing by helping others. The story is great and can be even a little tear jerky if you have dealt with something like this? Wasn’t thrilled by the whole stripper angle to the story but it was needed for where the adventure was going. A more perfect running for the film is most likely 85 minutes than the almost 100 it is but I am picking at little aspects of the film. John and cast should be proud of the tale they got on film as it is a wonderful drama done on no budget that is better than 99% of the other dramas that are shoved down people’s throats these days as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Strange New World (YouTube) – Another ‘ABC Movie of the Week’ find starring John Saxon from 1975. In present day the scientific team of three is sent to space for a suspended animation experiment on themselves for a short period. During their sleep meteors destroy Earth as they know it and people back home put into the computer a certain time frame to keep them sleeping. Doing this helps when it is safer to travel back to Earth and find the underground facility that is doing the same experiment. The team of three awakens in 2155, 180 years later and find out what happened. With Earth still there they go back and begin their journey into the unknown where they find almost caveman types surviving in the jungles and people that clone themselves to live maybe forever? It is no “Damnation Alley” but I am always in for a watch when John Saxon is involved as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #476

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Gross Movie Reviews #476

 

Slaughter (DVD) – Jim Brown stars as the title character who wants revenge against a mob in Mexico who has killed people close to him. Slaughter is a no nonsense dude that fucks anybody that gets in his way of his revenge. Even though the F.B.I. uses him to help get the job done because the mob has never seen him Slaughter uses the F.B.I. for their resources. Jim Brown is wonderful in kicking ass but also has an equally cool piece of shit villain in a super racist young Rip Torn! This film is more fun than serious and doesn’t have that Blaxploitation feel even for being released in 1972. I have always been a fan of Fred Williamson but this film help open my eyes to some of Jim Brown’s work as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Dirty Dozen (DVD) – An all-star Hollywood flick about a secret group of Army men that are needed to go into hostile territory during WWII to take out as many Nazi officers as possible. Think “The Expendables” decades before the concept is thought of! Almost all that read this review had that parent or grandparent that would watch this on TBS, AMC throughout the years. It is one of those unforgettable flicks where Lee Marvin is a Major that is tasked with a group of prisoners he must whip into shape in a short amount of time to take on this secret mission. They all must become and move as one or die of a quick death on the battlefield or in prison if they do not cooperate. Rewatching this film I still believe the film stands the test of time. The film is violent, funny, and has that right mix of characters that you understand why so many people watch this film over and over many times as I give it 4 stars.

 

Beaster Day (DVD) – This is one of those recent B-flicks you have so much hope to be a fun bad flick to watch and talk about: “Sharknado”, “Woodchipper Massacre” is two examples. This fails horribly! A giant Easter Bunny is eating people throughout a small town as the holiday approaches but the only hope is a crazy focused dog catcher. Now I am not expecting hundred million dollar creature effects but I am at least expecting some half-ass idea why the giant crayon drawn bunny is there eating people? Nope, the vicious fucker is just there eating people while the mayor tries to smoke weed and keep his town calm so their kids could still do their egg hunts… This feature proves I don’t enjoy everything bad and for that I give this 0 stars.

 

Curse of the Mayans (YouTube) – A modest budgeted film from Mexico that takes on Mayan 2012 legend of something big happening. The film follows a scientist who is tasked by a billionaire to find the secrets of the Mayans for his private collection. Problem is the scientist may have stumbled upon what really happened to mankind all those years ago. Their expedition goes through a very dangerous jungle that is watched over by drug runners. They are allowed passage but warned to not disturb anything. The scientist and his group find an underwater cave that leads downward and has these Mayan drawings that were never seen before explaining the events years ago. They also awaken the ancient aliens who have laid dormant that whole time also that Mayans defeated. The movie is a bit boring at times but was shot beautifully. I cannot poop all over this movie for one I believe this movie was shot for a certain audience and us Americans suck when it comes to understanding foreign films. Two, the wide shots, the action shots, I enjoyed the cinematography. It is better than 75% of the big budget stuff we are forced fed in the U.S. on a regular basis and for that I give the film 2 stars.

Slaughter of the Innocents (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films has just released a wonderful special edition of this serial killer film that wasn’t forgotten but maybe a bit lost in horror fans memories. This film was one those HBO premieres from the early 90s that took advantage of the door that was opened by “Silence of the Lambs”. We forget there was a dozen or so serial killer films that used cable channels and direct-to video for their big premieres as people’s movie watching habits were changing again. This feature starring Scott Glenn as F.B.I. agent Stephen Broderick was one of those early 90s movies that was well-crafted but unrealistic as a lot of us seen but maybe doesn’t get nearly as much press as the ‘Hannibal’ series did? Five years ago there was a brutal murder in Utah that was solved and now in present time (1993) a new murder and kidnapping has happened that fits the profile. Agent Broderick travels to Utah before the killer is put to death trying to explain he never felt good about the guy that was arrested. Sadly the man is put to death and this murder that fits the profile pops up and has Broderick’s interest. He wants to not only find out why this guy disappeared for five years but how he has never been found during that time. So with the help with his borderline genius son they track down the real killer who happens to be a religious nutjob who believes he is leading up to something biblical. Now true it is very unbelievable that in today’s society that a kid no matter whose kid would be allowed to travel across several state lines to help investigate murders. The movie does ask for you to suspend what you know but putting that aside for future drunken conversations with your horror friends, the film is rather fun, fast-moving, and beautifully brutal at times. You have a serial killer movie friend in your group make sure you drop this one on them as it will blow their mind how cool this film still is after 25 years. The Blu-ray special features are pretty damn cool with its deleted scenes that all feel like they belong except one that were most likely cut out for time restraints than just not fitting? Also there is an alternate assault sequence that had a different actor and reasons for changing the scene which is very interesting and I never knew existed. Plus there is a wonderful interview with a much underrated talent Gabe Bartalos talking about all his effects in the film. And the fun blast from the past topper for memory sake is the original HBO promo spot! This serial killer film is not perfect by any means but still deserves 3 out of 4 stars and as usual 4 stars for the package as Synapse Films once again hits it out of the ballpark. For more details on the Blu-ray please go to: www.synapse-films.com .

 

The Island (Blu-ray) – This was one those movies from the 80s that was on list that haven’t track down to watch until now. It stars Michael Caine as a reporter Blair Maynard who wants to travel to Florida and some small islands surrounding it to investigate the mysterious disappearance of ships in the Bermuda Triangle area. He takes his young teenage son with him to bond as he got stuck with him because his ex-wife ran off with her boy toy to Dallas. As Blair investigates he tries to bond with his son by going fishing. They are attacked by pirates who have somehow have lived off of the grid for hundreds of years and now are convinced in recent years to survive they must attack vacationers. Why is because most people would just chalk up as lost at sea or it is the Bermuda Triangle. Now instead of investigating Blair must survive David Werner and others as they plan to brain wash Blair’s son into joining the pirate life and continuing their bloodline. Not a straight up horror flick but fun for summer watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Tammy and the T-Rex (YouTube) – Here is a B-movie from 1994 that I literally thought someone made up. You know one those rumors about a film that exists but actually doesn’t and has gained internet fame as an urban legend of existing. Well folks it exists and I absolutely loved it as I couldn’t stop laughing at how silly this movie was and the cast it had. Tammy and her new boyfriend Michael are in love but of course Tammy’s ex-boyfriend believes she belongs to him no matter what. So Michael keeps having run-ins with the ex and keeps being warned he will get killed. One night Tammy and Michael’s hot kiss fest in Tammy’s bed is interrupted by the ex and his gang as they leave Michael beat up and in an animal park where he is attacked by lions. Michael ends up in a coma at the hospital from the attack and neurosurgeon/evil scientist guy who just happens to have built a robotic T-rex has a plan to bring it to life. With Michael’s brain of course! The dinosaur experiment works and next thing you know what seems like a PG-rated Disney film has a dinosaur going to a party and slashing and smashing to death Tammy’s ex and his gang members. This movie is complete chaos and bad, but a wonderful hilarious bad that stars a clean shaven George ‘Buck’ Flower, an absolutely fresh and hot and before batshit recent crazy years Denise Richards, an equally hot fresh Paul Walker, Terry Kiser, Sean Whalen, and John Franklin just for horror fans minds to be blown! As I laugh my ass off thinking about the film I give it 3 stars just for being so damn entertaining.

 

Demonic (DVD) – A paranormal group convinces a friend he needs to visit a house his mother was at over twenty years ago. He keeps having dreams of his mother when she was younger in what is called “The Livingston House” because there was several murders there years ago that this small southern town would like to forget. The group believes he can find the answers he has been looking for there. They go and set up for the night only to unlock something the house hasn’t seen over for over twenty years. The film does star the talented Maria Bello and doesn’t really break new ground in this paranormal genre but does give a watchable horror film about a demon trying to enter our world which is more I can say about a lot of the films in this genre as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

It is almost here!

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Gear up people cause its almost here:
Guests for Grossfest 2: Fred and Shelby Vogel, Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger, Dustin Wayde Mills, Craig Everett Earl, Justin Channell, Glenn Berggoetz, Henrique Couto, Brian Paulin, and Tom Savini. There will also be independent authors, filmmakers, and cool vendors… Plus independent movies will be shown all day. Remember things are subject to change…

Saturday, July 20, 2019 (Vendor room 11-7, Movie room 11-10) $10 admission includes both

DoubleTree Hotel
340 Racetrack Road
Washington, Pa. 15301
724-222-6200

Anything else please visit us at www.grossfest.com or visit our Grossfest Facebook page.

Gross Movie Reviews #475

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Gross Movie Reviews #475

 

Mind Trap (YouTube) – Another Dan Haggerty classic was unearthed from 1989 but oh I was wrong as Mr. Haggerty was much underused in this feature and has the look of being on set for one day. What else doesn’t help is when you go search everybody involved with the film on the Google machine this was pretty much it. Anyway in this weirdo film where a cat is used as a weapon Dan Haggerty plays an agent for this girl Shana. She just happens to be casted in several B-films that she quite enjoys but might have her big break coming. That is all put on hold when her father is killed by the KGB for his mind control research. Shana’s father built a dream room under their house but has only seen it once but the KGB kills the rest of her family trying to get it. Shana plays a weird game of cat and mouse if that is what you wanna call it with the KGB as she uses her movie skills to take them on. This movie is actually very terrible and found myself laughing several times because how bad it gets. Also the film disappointed me greatly as there are very few scenes of Dan Haggerty… I may have to go rewatch “Night Wars” or “The Channeler” as I give this a ½ star.

 

100 Bloody Acres (Shudder) – An Australian film about The Morgan Brothers who make organic manure. These two brothers recently hit it big with a big name client as they have a special formula of manure that involves dead bodies. If roadkill isn’t available any dead human will do. Brother Reg who just picked up a dead body from the side of the road picks up three music festival goers believing he can just drop them off and get with the hot redhead Sophie. Sophie is everything to Reg as she sings the golden oldies and still has some country girl in her. But things go south quickly as both of her boyfriends find the dead body in back, but too late Reg has gotten them to his older brother. Now the only thing in the way is Reg protecting Sophie from being grinded up in the manure by his big brother. One mishap after another result in 80-year old pussy eating, a cop who is best friends with the brothers being shot, and Sophie admitting she actually likes Reg and not the two guys she is with. It’s weird enough and gory enough the film is a very pleasant surprise of a horror film as I give it 3 stars.

 

Deadly Games (YouTube) – Apparently this 80s or 70s slasher but actually thriller has reappeared again for people to watch for free and how it gets you to watch is it stars a young Steve Railsback and the legendary Dick Butkus. Anyhow Billy Owens who just reopened the local town movie theater and a cop Roger Lane got this weird war buddy relationship going on. If that isn’t enough everybody in this west coast town is married and banging everyone else except their spouses to the point I thought I was watching the wrong movie when the pool scene came on. Because everyone is bumping uglies a masked killer who also happens to be a peeping Tom begins killing off people. There really isn’t an ending and this weird movie formula works on some level so if you got some time to kill give this a try as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shazam! (Theater) – Captain Marvel, ha-ha caught you sleep reading… Anyway DC lets this family film out about a 14 year old kid named Billy Batson who becomes a superhero that is strong as Superman because his heart is pure. He is picked by a wizard to carry on the Shazam tradition and defeat the evil power of the Seven Deadly Sins. Billy being a runaway who doesn’t have a family learns what the most important thing is having a family and that helps him defeat the evil Seven Deadly Sins. But what does this have over Batman and recent Superman flicks: it’s funny, interesting, a great origin story and it isn’t Batman or Superman. The sooner DC universe learns you can dig deep into your comic archives without having the big two involved the sooner we can see more cool flicks like “Shazam!”, “Wonder Woman”, hell even “Aquaman”! This is the most family oriented comic book hero film I have seen to date and its great as I give 3 ½ stars.

 

Monster Island (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Just when I thought SyFy Channel turned into the Harry Potter network they pull this Asylum Entertainment project out of their ass that stars Eric Roberts as a Navy general. A giant volcanic monster named ‘Tango’ or giant star fish has risen from the deep depths of the ocean to cause destruction on Earth. But there is a legend of a monster called ‘The Living Mountain’ when brought to life it will kill the giant magma filled starfish. Yes it is their version of the new Godzilla movie but if you enjoy silly shit involving monsters then grab a beer and enjoy Eric Roberts talking to himself as I give it 2 stars.

 

Await Further Instructions (DVD) – This is a post-apocalyptic oddity as it takes place at the holidays. The news keeps reporting strange going-ons with the U.S., China, and Russia like WWIII is about to happen, then blackness. The plot is the son comes home with his Indian girlfriend to meet mum but the family is super racist. Once they figure it is a bad idea it is too late as they wake up early to leave but the house is covered in a black metallic substance and a message on the tele reading “Await Further Instructions”. The family quickly turns on each other as they believe the girlfriend is infected and the father only believes what the tele tells him. What is outside and how to get out is unknown? A super weird flick that has that uneasy “Videodrome” and “The Mist” feeling to it with an ending that will just leave you asking a shitload of questions. I give it 3 stars as your homework assignment is to go watch it report back to me!

Revenge of Billy the Kid (DVD) – If you are looking to fulfill your British film weirdness well this film about the McDonalds on an isolated island will do. These back woods farmers called the McDonalds sell their crops to mainlanders but try to keep to themselves on this island. Well the father McDonald gets all horned up one day walking with his prize goat and yes he makes it his mate! Little time passes as the goat of course gives birth to a mutant. The one young woman Ronnie that lives on the farm gives it the name Billy and tries to take care of it until it runs away. When it is all grown up Billy’s ugly ass comes back for a killing spree of the family! If you need more bestiality in your life this 2 star film is all you.

 

The Perfection (DVD) – A thriller with a couple bizarre well written twists takes place in the music world. A cello artist named Charlotte who was as perfect as god according to her teacher had to leave the famous music training school to take care of her sick mom. A decade passes and a new prodigy has risen named Lizzie. Charlotte tracks her down along with her old teacher to get back in the music world. Lizzie and Char hit it off immediately and head off for a little vacation but Lizzie is not feeling well at all. Lizzie is later found all drugged up on the side of the road by herself and missing something. Without saying too much the film takes a couple turns in the story that you will not expect and quite enjoy the finish. Don’t mind you see some blurred out man meat from Steven Weber it’s all part of the process as I give it 3 stars.

Shed of the Dead (DVD) – Trevor is a man living out his fantasy world in his shed when he isn’t hanging with his buddy Graham playing some Dungeons and Dragons type game. Trevor and the wife don’t get along and he is in between jobs and now the neighbor Kane Hodder wants him evicted for not taking care of his lot. Trevor as Casimir the Destroyer always knows what to do but in the real world Trevor hates life until… the zombie apocalypse hits and Trevor tries to decide should he save his wife and just hang out with his friend Graham who finally was able to leave his house. There is also a couple other fun names in here: Brian Blessed who does voiceover, Michael Berryman which may own the most famous recent death in a movie to become a zombie? (He is dressed as a leather horse with a butt plug, you need to see it just because!), and Bill Mosley as Doc who is excited the zombie apocalypse has happened. It is a clone of “Shaun of the Dead” a bit but don’t let that dissuade you from enjoying this entertaining zombie film that needed more Kane Hodder as the Canadian. For that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #468

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Gross Movie Reviews #468

Camp Hideaway Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Of course a ‘massacre’ film you should not take too serious and you might actually enjoy it for what it is? A cheap gory flick with a naked Tina Krause! Anyway, a campsite and the small town woods are full of urban myths among the locals who talk about crazy satanic shit going down and people disappearing. The locals try to warn the out-of-towners but no one listens. Tina Krause comes into town looking for missing friends and cannot find any clues while three men conspire to kill people and sell their shit for money! There is some gore and again there is Tina Krause so enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

Halloween Mind Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – We are introduced to a man named Carl. Carl is in a bad need of meds. Without his meds lots of weirdness happens as example an alien or demon has made its way into Carl’s chest to start talking to Carl and control him. Carl talks to it like it is his inner voice. And his inner voice is explaining to Carl he needs no meds and needs to kill! Not only kill but dismember people including his doctor who may or may not be trying to help? The film has its dull moments but also has its hilarious moments of gore and makes you crave Scruffy’s Discount Liquor and Pizza (you need to see the flick just for this commercial) for that I give the film 2 stars.

 

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (DVD) – An old Eye-talian flick from 1985 where a group of people survive a plane crash into a legendary part of the Amazon called ‘Dinosaur Valley’. The land is forbidden to outsiders so no one will be looking for the group. Now on their own the group must venture through a jungle filled with gators, cannibalistic tribes, Piranha, leeches, quicksand, and of course slave traders. Not near the level of craziness of “Cannibal Holocaust” but is one those fun jungle genre movies that is known by many names and very possible you may have seen it and not know it. I give this fun jungle flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Movie House Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – This film was made by the same dude who gave us “Hobgoblins”! If this title isn’t striking your memory the other title it was released under “Blood Theatre” may as it also starred Mary Woronov. Spotlite Theaters owns several theaters and they have just acquired an old single screen theater that has been reopened several times without any luck. The biggest problem the old theater has going against it is the theater is haunted. So the manager of Spotlite Theater gives three young employees a chance to make some extra cash if they can get it cleaned up and profitable on opening night? As the three work hard to get it open people begin to die again one by one, mostly off screen. The lesser known film was made for nearly nothing and does not pretend to be a big glamorous horror flick. Thus it works in its favor and we get a good amount of screen time from the legendary Mary Woronov just having fun with her role as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Night Patrol (DVD) – Oh nutsack, it is a lesser known comedy from Jackie Kong that stars Linda Blair and filled hilariously bad jokes. Officer Melvin White has just got promoted to night patrol. Only issue Melvin has with this promotion is he also works his craft, “stand-up” as The Unknown Comic” at night which of course will interfere with the police work. Melvin also has another issue since he is The Unknown Comic he has a bag on his head which hides his identity. Problem is someone is robbing places all over the city with a bag on their head looking like The Unknown Comic. I laughed many times through this flick at the bad jokes, enjoyed the cameo appearances made by Andrew Dice Clay and Pat Morita, and Linda Blair playing it completely straight makes this comedy well worth watching multiple times as I give it 3 stars. By some chance that isn’t enough for you to watch there is an amazing “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” bit near the end of the film!

 

Messiah of Evil (DVD) – A young woman heads to a small town on the coast of California because she has lost contact with her father. Worried she wants to find him quickly and begins her search at his home reading his journals. As she investigates the town she quickly understands this town is a little weird and hooks up with a swinging young couple who just like the town. But things get creepy quickly as all three learn the town is full of the undead. A prophecy about a man who came from the sea a hundred years ago predicted as they will take over world. I don’t know if this truly a zombie flick or not but it is bizarre enough I will be revisiting this flick at some point again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Killings at Outpost Zeta (YouTube) – A no budget sci-fi creature feature flick set some time in the future where humans are trying to set up different planets for space stations, rest stops for ships, research into other galaxies. The planet is rather new compared to other planets as there is no life yet? But Star Fleet has lost contact with its Pathfinder team it sent there and a rescue team that was sent there shortly after. For two years there were no incidents then these two in recent months. Now with pressure on Star Fleet to get answers they need volunteers for the suicide mission of getting the answers. Once the new team is on the planet they feel like they are being watched at all times. The crew gets to the outpost to find everyone dead and these little black masses left behind. A creature that was found the units before them is the cause of death and reproducing from the black masses killing the new crew off one by one. The creature is seen less than creatures in “The Boogens”. A super cheap ass “Alien” rip-off with not a ton of plot that makes a fun movie to watch with a group of friends as I give it 2 stars.

Closure (DVD) – A short film from Alex Cassun about a police detective who wants to speak with a dangerous suspect. The suspect injured during the arrest grants the wish of the detective but be careful what you wish for as I give the quick short film 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

Free Streaming App BingeHorror Launches on Roku, Fire TV, Smartphones & More!

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Free Streaming App BingeHorror Launches on Roku, Fire TV, Smartphones & More!

LOS ANGELES, CA – BingeHorror, a new free app streaming indie horror movies in the US, is now available on Roku, Fire TV, Apple TV, Google Play, Android and Apple/iOS devices.
The BingeHorror premise: Free indie horror movies. Rare & exclusive horror content for you and more. Start binge-watching now!
With hundreds of free horror feature films already available on the app, BingeHorror’s notable titles streaming 100% free today and coming soon include:
The Penitent Man (starring Lance Henriksen)
The Killing Jar (starring Michael Madsen, Amber Benson & Danny Trejo)
Confess (starring Ali Larter & Melissa Leo)
The Sadist (starring Tom Savini)
Chain Letter (starring Brad Dourif, Nikki Reed & SAW’s Betsy Russell)
Discipline (starring Courtney Gains from Children of the Corn)
The Dead Matter (starring Wishmaster’s Andrew Divoff & Tom Savini)
Witchstalker (starring Debbie Rochon)
Charlotte
Amazon Hot Box
Ghost Dimension: Flying Solo
BingeHorror’s goal is to become the go-to free platform for horror lovers seeking entertainment at home, and mobile/on the go: via iOS/Android smartphones and tablets.
Through its partnerships with several distributors, BingeHorror will release rare and exclusive horror content in categories like: Slasher, Paranormal, Thriller, Zombies, Supernatural, Crime, Series, Shorts, Erotica and more. Viewers can expect new free horror movies every Thursday.
Free BingeHorror download links:
Amazon Fire TV: https://amzn.to/2HbHG43
Google Play: http://bit.do/eLZ6t
Social Media:
BingeHorror Showreel: https://bit.ly/2HyGjwT

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week Tim, Kyle, and John recount all the weeks’ viewings and check into 3 flicks to review.  First being Tommy Lee Jones goes full homeland terrorist in THE PARK IS MINE,  Then we get into Robert Ginty straight outta dental surgery and fighting against the powers of the mighty Donald Pleasence in WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD.  Then Barbara Stanwick moves into a crazy house in an ABC movie of the week jam called THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE.  Also we talk the ins and outs of movie piracy, Living in Amish country, and CHUDS!!!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This time around we talk about 3 more flicks.  The first being picked by Tim and is a movie that stars anyone who has ever been in a horror movie ever…LITERALLY in DEATH HOUSE,  Then another great ABC movie of the week flick in A COLD NIGHTS DEATH (Spoiler Alert} It has monkeys!!!  Then Art kills snooty folks in the newest Netflix jam VELVET BUZZSAW.  Also we talk about the newest and saddest horror gimmick to try to separate you from your money Fanmio.com We answer your questions,  and rundown all of this week’s flicks worth talking about. 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/