We posted four shows this week so you should be tired of us for awhile!

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This week we review the biggest movie of the summer in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Vol. 2.  And Kyle talks about the finest example of truckersploitation in CONVOY.  Then Tim talks about a film with one of his favorite guys of all time in it Mr. Donald Gibb in JOCKS.  Also, we answer your questions that come through Facebook live. And a ton of other nonsensical bullshit.  So please check it out.  Do it for Rubber Duck!

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This week we welcome our good buddy JON CROSS back to the show to talk about Eric Roberts (and his mullet) in the awesome, and no so talked about, Larry Cohen joint THE AMBULANCE.  Then Kyle picks an action flick that has the best cast of B list dudes in NO ESCAPE (an action flick that Jon has never seen to our surprise) and finally we discuss a flick that was a staple on USA up all night in CHOPPER CHICKS IN ZOMBIE TOWN.  Also, We answer all your questions, talk about Horror Realm memories, and have a general, all around good ass time.  

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This week we discuss two new flicks.  One of which is one of the worst pieces of trash we’ve picked for the show.  The first being a movie that promises you a Sasquatch but doesn’t deliver a sasquatch in SCREAMS OF A WINTERS NIGHT.  And the second we venture out to the theater to check out ALINE: COVENANT.  Also Baseball chats (because that’s exciting) Kyle tells the story of the time he shit his pants, what we’ve been watching, news, and SKEXIES….

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This week we talk about one of Kyle’s favorite actors Crispin Glover in one of the best remakes this side of The Thing in WILLARD.  Then Tim picks an early entry in the slasher genre that neither of us has ever seen in THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD.  We answer questions, join Facebook live, and whatnot… so; listen or rats will eat your flesh

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Gross Movie Reviews #407

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Gross Movie Reviews #407

 

The Watcher in the Woods (VHS) – So I decided to sit down and watch this nonsense from 1980 where two sisters and their mother go to buy an old house off an old lady. The old lady thinks the older daughter is her daughter Karen from years ago that disappeared and talks to the woods every once in a while. The younger sister is played by the girl who played “Lindsey” in the horror classic ‘Halloween’. So of course the rest of the movie is spent me being Tommy Doyle behind the curtain trying to scare Lindsey until the alien shows up and returns Karen! Don’t worry you are not missing much in this flick as I give it 1 star.

 

The Dorm that Dripped Blood (Blu-ray) – I watched this slasher flick for the first time ever! Not totally sure how that happened but never got to see this flick until I picked up that ultimate Synapse Blu-ray. The movie was also known as “Death Dorm” and “Pranks” during the early 80s after its 1981 release. The film’s other memorable trait besides its artwork and titles are a young Daphne Zuniga showing up for five minutes and being a part of an awesome death scene. A generic story for “slasher film” standards but during Christmas break Joanne is in charge shutting down a dorm building and boarding it up. Meanwhile a fuzzy-haired dude that looks like an extra from ‘Slap Shot’ keeps doing a peeping tom routine. So of course soon as the bodies begin to pile up in gruesome fashion the fuzzy-haired dude is to blame. An odd ending to the generic story made me a little underwhelmed by the film but still glad I bought this great edition on Blu-ray. It isn’t: My Bloody Valentine, The Burning, Curtains, maybe even The Prowler but still glad to add it to my collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Monsters among Men (Blu-ray) – A dramatic independent horror film about a couple named Reed and Allison. Reed takes his woman out for a walk near the woods to pop the question. As she is saying no something happens to Reed wear he wakes up in the woods next to a dead guy and another dude digging a grave. Reed escapes and wonders who, what, or where is Allison? He comes to find out she has been abducted by a vampire because she is supposedly a “pure blood source”. Meaning vamps can gain extra strength from her blood and she has no disease. So Reed plans his revenge against these mobster-like vamps and help Allison escape as he still loves her. Most independent horror films that focus on vamps usually flake out by the ten minute mark to show a ton of boobs or lesbians. This isn’t a bad thing but it is always nice to see filmmakers like Ryan Blazic take a chance and make something more? For that I thank Ryan and his crew as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more or to purchase the film at www.monstersamongmen.com .

 

Monsters: Dark Continent (Blu-ray) – A region B Blu-ray I picked up because I wanted to see the sequel but was really intrigued with the aliens/virus whatever you want to call them. Ten years later the contingent is still being fought but is now a part of everyday life especially in the Middle East. U.S. troops must not only fight off insurgents they must also shoot down the monsters as they run rampant in the dessert. Again I enjoy the concept of the “Monsters” but I think the writers and filmmakers miss the point of what this could be? The film is more about war than the monsters and makes you question are the writers and filmmaker trying to make a statement or a possible cool concept? Either way I believe this film and the original could be much more (Aliens franchise for example) but with the lack of interest in the US for the films and money needed to make the films this was most likely the last sequel we get anyway. I give the concept 3 or 3 ½ stars but the movie only 2 ½ stars.

 

Thirst (DVD) – Just a simple creature feature where troubled teens are sent to a boot/wilderness camp of sorts in the middle of the dessert for a week. Once there a metallic space alien arrives and begins feeding on the teens until they figure out a way to fight back. Think of “Ticks” with Seth Green from the early 90s on maybe even a lower budget. I may have enjoyed the simple creature flick but I do know Project mother fucking Metalbeast would have made this film that more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Presidents Day (Vimeo/DVD) – So you haven’t gotten all your holiday horror films fill yet? Well don’t regret it as another has been made that focuses on the Presidents Day weekend. I believe college kids… but not a major plot point are on their way to an old hunting cabin to celebrate Presidents Day weekend or just to get drunk. The kids are all your usual stereotypical slasher movie characters and they even point it out during the movie. They just happen to piss off the dead that just happen to be all the dead presidents or zombie versions of them? Anyhow the film is kind of slow and you feel like this is the usual independent crap that gets floated out there on a regular basis but it isn’t! Believe me give it a chance to get going as once the presidents are all up shambling or running around trying to kill the kids hilarious shit begins. Whether it is the bad puns, one of the dead presidents having sex with Ashley and then there is duel over her, or the presidents from the 1800s having a wrestling match after finding out there was a black president I absolutely couldn’t stop laughing. The independent flick doesn’t try to be hipster cool or reinvent the motion picture it understands it is a very low budget flick and uses it to its advantage. Oh there isn’t much plot but when a dead John Wilkes Booth arrives to help the kids kill Lincoln it is all so wrong but right and hilarious at the same time! Presidents Day is a fucking blast and I will debate myself on whether it will make my ‘Best of 2017’ list? But until then I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #405

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Gross Movie Reviews #405

 

Territory 8 (DVD) – Depending what country you rent the film from or buy it is also known as ‘District 8’. Nope, don’t think it. The flick has nothing to do with anything as this flick was released in 2013 as nuclear waste disaster film. Some corporate/government types made an accident happen to see its results. But they were not counting on it seeping into the drinking water and soil and getting a town nearby sick. Now quarantined the town waits for the cure while a couple dudes in this top secret place try to come up with the cure. The natives get restless and raid the top secret buildings looking for blood as military won’t allow anybody to leave the area. Think the 80s film ‘Warning Sign’ but much more of a uninteresting watch. I give this piece of trash a ½ star.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two (Theater) – So Marvel sets out to prove again they can make a movie that appeals to everyone and they did! The film picks right up from the first flick where the Guardians are fighting a monster for some conceded Gold people/assholes. After Rockit steals a couple batteries a whole armada comes aiming for the heads of the Guardians. With some help by a dude on a flying egg they make their escape and set down for repairs. They are greeted by Starlord’s father aka Kurt Russell and that is where the fun begins as we learn why Starlord’s father left him. After a few great 70s songs the Guardians are back at it by saving the universe from Starlord’s father as he plans on remaking all the worlds in his own way! Once again the film is freaking hilarious but I think I still enjoy the first film just that little more as I give this fun popcorn superhero flick 4 stars. There is a couple surprises as usual but also has the fans wanting more?

 

Doctor Strange (DVD) – Now this was an intriguing superhero movie that I thought could have gone south real bad. But surprise another interesting superhero movie that will have sequels. For those who don’t know, Doctor Strange is a great doctor who looks to fix the impossible in people’s bodies. But when he is in a severe accident that destroys his hands, Strange is devastated. With his last pennies he finds himself at the butt end of the world where he meets a woman, a wizard, or something that will cure him of his ailments. Strange being stubborn but a quick learner uses his photographic mind to become a powerful person who can help the world in many ways besides using his hands for surgery again? As he learns the ways to twist our world around with great power, that dude that played Hannibal on the TV show wants to let an evil presence take over the world. Compared to a lot of the recent superhero flicks, ‘Doctor Strange’ is quick but to the point. But Marvel/Disney also prove they can reach into the barrel of secondary but interesting superheroes and give us great movies but also expand the movie universe of what’s to come? I give old Doc Strange 3 stars and here is to hope of seeing a Spider-man cameo in the next flick.

Avalanche Sharks (DVD) – Ancient spirit sharks haunt a ski mountain resort when their totem is disturbed and begin feasting on all the skiers during spring break! Of course the resort wants to keep it quiet but the local sheriff and his marine biologist wife are trying to warn the young folks of being eaten. But the resort needs the bikini contest to go off without a hitch. Yeah the movie is worse than you can imagine but the casting is what kept me interested in the flick as Erika Jordan (known for her Showtime late night porn flicks) gets bitten in half. And the other is Kate Nauta playing the marine biologist aka crazy bad ass fighting chick from ‘Transporter 2’. And if it helps, this film has no relation to ‘Snow Shark: The Ancient Beast’… I give it 1 star.

 

No Escape (DVD) – The bad ass action flick that everyone forgets about but wants to watch. A film that was released in the 90s that didn’t get much support from the studio but you were glad it existed.  The year is 2022; a giant corporation runs the penial system. Ray Liotta is a Special Forces vet who killed his superior officer ten years before because of ordering him and others to bomb women and children. The event was swept under the rug so Ray’s character went and killed him. Since then Ray’s character has spent his time breaking out of all the maximum prisons. Now he is being sent to an island where no one escapes and the prisoners are watched by satellites. Once there he must decide is he with the crazy people or the prisoners who are trying to be peaceful and make the best with what they have on the island. The film is similar to Christopher Lambert’s ‘Fortress’: action packed, great cast, and not a lot of people have seen it but they know about it! I have always been a big fan of the film just for the mere reason it stars Lance Henriksen as ‘Father’. For that I give the film 4 stars and yinz need to watch this awesome flick!

Hangar 18 (DVD/YouTube) – A film that comes off as a TV movie but was actually released to theaters in 1980 about the event of aliens that crash landed on earth and were supposedly held up in Hangar 18. Darren McGavin plays the lead official for NASA and is asked to lead a team of scientists on studying the alien ship after it was forced down by a US satellite. Meanwhile Robert Vaughn plays a hard ass dude looking out for his own ass and the president’s as its election year and this incident must be covered up. So let’s blame the two astronauts. The two astronauts aren’t having anything to do with the blame or the cover up and soon start their own investigating as they are being followed by government agents. Vaughn is just trying to get through the next two weeks of the election and no one will care any longer. But when the astronauts learn of “Hangar 18”, the government pulls out all the stops to kill them and the NASA team so no info will be leaked out. In some circles this was seen as a documentary of the event and in other circles it’s all considered crap. Either way I am sure Chris Carter had this flick on his brain when he was developing ‘The X-Files’ TV show. For that I am thankful and give this this alien flick 2 ½ stars.

 

American Exorcism (DVD/Vimeo) – Damon is a dude that seems to be a fun family man but he has a demon trapped in him that he uses to help with exorcisms with his buddy who is a reverend/priest. After helping out a guy named Dale Damon comes home shouting things at his wife as he claims “it’s not her”. After an argument with his priest friend and trying to exorcise the demon from his wife, she is shot to death. Ten years pass and it’s believed the demon has possessed the body of his daughter   as the priest friend has come looking for Damon to explain they must perform an exorcism on her at midnight of her 18th birthday. Damon struggles with this as he hasn’t been in contact with her since her mother’s death but knows the exorcism needs to be done. The movie is a classic example of good idea but poor execution. Great job of building the Damon character and his background but it goes to the pooper quickly after the character’s wife dies. No matter what I am sure the younger crowd who have become somewhat obsessed recently with these types of films will seek it out as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Master of the World (DVD) – The year is 1868 and all is well in post war Pennsylvania. That is until Vincent Price decided to build an airship inside a mountain and scare the crap out of people live nearby with all the noise and his voice. Chuck Bronson shows up to investigate and gets into a hot air balloon to check it out but is shot down. Price’s character kidnaps Bronson and others so they can witness his great unstoppable airship and what it will do to the world.  While Price’s character creates havoc all over the world Bronson and others must wait for the precise time to jump ship and sabotage the voyage! I give the 1961 film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #404

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Gross Movie Reviews #404

 

Primal Force (DVD/YouTube) – A 1999 TV “UPN” premiere film that pits Ron Perlman versus genetically-engineered monkeys! Mr. Perlman plays a character named Brodie who had a run in with these mutations on an island outside of Mexico. Ten years ago, Brodie and some others were brought in to be guides to the rich who wanted to hunt big game, but not just any big game. Some crazy ass scientist is playing god and has someone funding him to give them bad ass animals for the hunt and the island. A few rich people get killed during the hunts and the monkeys who were experimental were supposed to die but instead became the hunters as they grew smarter and took over the island. Brodie barely escaped but is still haunted by the nightmares of the event. But Brodie must go back as he is approached to be a guide for a rescue team as a plane has crashed in the middle of this uninhabited island. From there it becomes Ron Perlman versus bad ass monkeys and it is fucking glorious stuff! Don’t walk but run to see this rather unknown gem as I give it 3 ½ stars. This film is further proof that I believe people are sucking movie ideas from my head while I sleep???

 

Deep Space (VHS/YouTube) – Horror fans this isn’t that that weird sci-fi flick that stars Charles Napier that took forever to show up on any format outside of VHS in 1989/1990… This is that Marc Singer sci-fi feature where he plays Commander Krieger and receives a distress call from some scientists. Yes folks, this is the reason I exist so I can watch it so you don’t have too! But moving on when Krieger and his cheap ass robot show up to rescue the scientists not all feel it’s an emergency? They just happen to be messing with a mutated virus which has mutated again into a cheap looking but effective alien creature that wants to fuck up humans. What is interesting about the creature is it’s made up of every disease known to man so all it has to do is touch you to kill you. That’s some fucked up cool shit for a B-movie. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blue Monkey (VHS/YouTube) – John Vernon just happens to run a hospital that just so happens to be testing a laser thingy? Well of course some old dude gets pricked by a foreign plant at his woman’s greenhouse that basically gives him a heart attack and a weird bacterial infection. The infection eventually sends the hospital into lockdown which randomly has Joe Flaherty from SCTV and his pregnant movie wife at the hospital trying to give birth. It has nothing to do with the story but come on we all love Joe! Meanwhile Steve Railsback and a doctor are trying to track down the infection that has mutated into a creature with a Nintendo gun… That is before the government just runs and burns the place to the ground because they consider it a “Class 4 Quarantine”. The 1987 film was also known as ‘The Insect’ but let’s be honest I don’t think many horror fans knew or cared about this lackluster horror film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Hectic Knife (DVD) – Let’s be honest folks most of us are Troma fans and we know Troma pretty much has become a distributor of independent films. Hey Troma has to survive just like any other small movie company. 99% of the time the newer Troma stuff that is released is to make them money and keep them afloat and really doesn’t have anything to do with the Troma legacy? Well folks, I am to say ‘Hectic Knife’ is a different but Troma-like film that has come out of nowhere. The film is about a new knife-swinging superhero named ‘Hectic Knife’. He kills rapists, gangsters, junkies, but like the rest of us normal people he has to pay bills, needs a roommate, struggles with all the killing, and no girlfriend. But when ‘Hectic Knife’ comes into contact with a professional baddie named ‘The Piggly Doctor’ he must risk his own life to defeat this new baddie. Hilarious over-the-top violence, bad jokes, bagels, a hippie, and the vibe the film gives off while watching it is like the stuff of second generation Troma films. Let me explain: first generation is “Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘em High”, second generation is “Tromeo and Juliet and Sgt. Kabukiman”. It fits in with the 90s Troma stuff which is a good thing. The movie just has that Troma vibe that makes you wonder if Lloyd may have been on set. Troma should be more than happy adding this feature to this their library it’s one of the few flicks that understand what Troma is all about and for that I am thankful! I give this fun flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars and definitely one of the better films of 2017! Go get it now folks www.troma.com as there isn’t enough good things I can say about this independent flick.

 

Angel Heart (DVD) – Robert DeNiro is the devil and Lisa Bonet gets banged to death so bad the “Cosby Show” shunned her and her movie career. This weird voodoo/film noir flick gets 2 stars. The film keeps you interested until it ends and leaves questioning why?

 

Jocks (DVD) – Completely forgetting this Donald Gibb flick exists, shame on me. Decided to wander down “Tim Gross USA Up All Night” memory lane and rewatch this hilarious stupid sex comedy that sat on the shelf for over a year before its release. Richard Roundtree is the coach of a tennis team that is a bit unorthodox but wins a lot of matches and they are in Vegas for the championships. Boobs, booze, and Donald Gibb nailing a dude in the balls with a tennis ball to win the match are the highlights of this fun late night memory. And want a fun one it is as I give it 3 stars.

 

What’s wrong with Mom? (DVD) – Leave it to independent filmmaker Jim Roberts to make a short film about his mother being sick. When he gets a call from his brother Eric to go visit mom, he is expecting her to have the flu not have a hunger for flesh. Gory, fun, and to the point is what makes Jim Roberts one of the best and one of my favorite filmmakers out there in independent film land as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Convoy (DVD) – A late 70s film that became an early HBO 80s regular run feature is about a misunderstanding between truckers and a cop who goes over the line to bring the law down on them. When the truckers refuse to obey we got a “CONVOY” through the state of Arizona that eventually has the Rubberduck getting shot to pieces near the end of the flick. Too this day not totally sure what is the plot of the film exactly but what do want for a film that is based on a country song written in 1975 when CBs were a big thing? If you are over 35 you are old and most likely remember this nonsense that stars Kris Kristofferson, Burt Young, and Ernest Borgnine! The back story of the film sounds a hell a lot more interesting and worth taking a trip on the google machine to find out more as I give it 2 ½ stars. It’s no ‘Smokey and the Bandit’.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

We bring in our buddy Parker Bowman for help on this episode!

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This week Kyle and Tim called in a favor to one of the charter members of the Spookies fan club to come on and hang out.  PARKER BOWMAN of the JUNK FOOD DINNER & POOL PARTY RADIO joins us to talk about Full Moon Entertainment’s SEEDPEOPLE.  Kyle finds quite the hidden gem in the newly released I DON”T FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE on Netflix, And Tim talks about a rockabilly/kung fu/post-apocalyptic Indy flick in SIX STRING SAMAURI.  Also, we chat about east coast vs. west coast pizza wars,  And battle lines are drawn as Parker does the unthinkable and besmirches the good names of Donald Pleasance and podcast favorite Prince of Darkness.  So enjoy your day with a new show.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #403

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Gross Movie Reviews #403

 

Asylum of Darkness (Vimeo/VOD) – We have a film about a lone man named Dwight who questions if he is insane, if things are real, etc.? All Dwight knows he must get out of the asylum and back into the real world because he believes he is not insane. The time comes, Dwight breaks out and tries run away from his craziness… maybe. But witnessing a car accident and helping the driver inside Dwight takes over a man’s life (Art Finsch). On the inside its Dwight, on the outside it is a man named Art: author, womanizer, crappy marriage. Dwight measuring up or just trying to gauge his situation decides to try and fix the marriage and just enjoy his second chance at life. But whatever to the beautiful woman that visited him in the asylum, who is weird white-haired man following him, and what happened to the real Art Finsch? The movie can become a little confusing at times, feel a little long (close to 2 hours), but with the casting of genre vets Tiffany Shepis and Tim Thomerson in supporting but important roles the film can be quite interesting. Once the film ends you still question who is who or what happened or if it did? But it is one of those weirdo films that you should keep in the back of your mind when looking for something different to watch than a straight up horror flick. I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

District B13 – A kind of futuristic/post-apocalyptic film that involves a fitness craze of par-core (I think, remember my only exercise is drinking beer and watching weird flicks like this…) and martial arts and putting ‘Escape from New York” into 2010 Paris. Understand the film was made in 2005 and there is a sequel if you like this flick? A wall has been built around the ghettos of Paris to keep the gangs walled off from Paris and the police just hang there until they are given orders to leave before the government decides to wipe the area clean innocent people or not. Leito is just a bad ass dude who protects his sister inside ghetto B13 and throws drugs away from a gang that harasses him. Leito tries to do the right thing and the police do not care. Now Leito is in jail, the rival gang has his sister, and there just so happens to be a bomb in the middle of the ghetto that is going to kill everyone. So some elite officer Damien breaks out Leito for help to stop the “Clean Bomb”. The movie reminds of those direct-to-video movies and sequels to ‘American Ninja’ and ‘Kickboxer’ that came out in the early 90s. I give the movie 2 ½ stars.

 

Strip Club Massacre (Vimeo/DVD) – Megan is having a bad life right now. All in one day the beautiful Megan loses her job, her boyfriend to her rich roommate, and her place of living. Forced out she heads to Georgia to an old best friend’s place until she can get on her feet again. Once there her best friend’s boyfriend hooks her up with a waitress job at his strip club. Megan is warned the club is not your usual strip club and Megan is warned not to cross the main stripper “Jazz” played by Erin Brown aka Misty Mundae. Megan ignores and begins her job and just tries to make enough money to go back to school. Some weird things go down but Megan tries to push on. Megan gets invited to a employee only party and proceeds to be drugged and raped! Megan has had enough and goes on a murderous rampage in the strip club. Simple, bloody, lots of boobs, and the movie shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. I give this flick 1 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

 

Miles Before Sleep (DVD) – Friends are taking a trip to the beach and they have problems just like normal people: who’s pregnant? Who’s the baby daddy? Why did we take the one friend that wants to see Kayne in concert? The friends are traveling through West Virginia and of course their car has a gas leak causing them to be stranded. The friends figure they better find some shelter for the night before some ‘Wrong Turn’ shit goes down. They find a nice dude and his girl in the middle of the woods that is basically living off the grid and keep to themselves. It is a simple life but at least they are not raping their sister… until you meet the relatives that were hunting or just raping their sister as usual. So the friends soon become part of dinner and must fight to escape because they are city folk! And city folk are sinners of course! I give the entertaining no budget flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find the flick from Michael Taylor Pritt at www.funtimeproductionz.com .

Are We the Waiting (DVD) – Apparently the draft have been reinstated and this unemployed all around good dude Chance has been drafted and ships out next week. Instead of going to fight for his country Chance and his girlfriend are going to run off to Canada to disappear but have one last party with friends. The friends get to the house for their online gaming party but things quickly change when decide to try a different gaming website that shows the party a severed arm. They all try to shut down and get some drinks only to find horrible crap in the freezer. From there it escalates when a brightly masked person has shown up and tries to kill them off one by one. Michael Taylor Pritt and crew are passionate about their work but haven’t hit that stride just yet. Meaning I may have not been impressed with this movie but know their best is still to come which is good for all fans of their work as I give this flick 2 out of 4 stars. You can this at www.funtimeproductionz.com .

 

Legend of the Drunken Master (DVD) – Probably one of the more famous of the Jackie Chan flicks is this feature about a man that knows “drunken boxing”. But this show of martial arts is frowned upon by most in the Asian communities because the person or persons are usually complete drunks and bring shame to their families. But Chan’s character swears off the art of fighting when his father kicks him out but eventually becomes involved a company man who is looking for an artifact that will fetch him lots of money but is mistakenly switched for ginseng which were in the same box. More than anything this film shows off Jackie Chan’s talent and knack of what was to come and show American audiences something they have never seen. I give the flick 4 stars.

 

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon (DVD/YouTube) – A collection of YouTube videos from Addison Binek who takes it upon himself to show movies “MST3K”-style and in fast forward or highlights. But Mr. Binek does it with his own unique style that keeps it entertaining but yet not fake which for me always makes it entertaining. Mr. Binek the host tackles films such as: “Hectic Knife, Cannibal Claus, Slaughter Claus, The Giant Claw, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils, Rabid Grannies, Hot to Trot, Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Clever”. So this DVD tackles all the good and bad, mostly bad of these films. I enjoyed his humor and comments on Full Moon. If that isn’t enough pay attention to things in the background like the “Vibrator Christmas Tree” or Addison Binek in a horse mask committing suicide for watching ‘Hot to Trot’. Fun stuff for the You Tube fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Become a fan at: https://www.youtube.com/user/JABproducts

 

Evils of the Night (Blu-ray) – College-aged kids are at the beach to party and have lots of sex until some of them go missing. Some aliens have visited Earth as old people who are tracking down young good looking people between the ages of 16-24 to get their blood. They need it to survive. But in between all the sex some of the kids have become concerned and try to find out what is happening to their friends? Running for their lives or just being harassed by a couple old mechanics the movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But it’s the 80s, the film stars Julie Newmar, John Carradine, Amber Lynn, we have the millennium falcon on the poster, the film was called “Demon’s Blood” at one point, and some people believe this film was started as a porno? For that I am thankful I track this film down. The new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray is packed with all kinds of cool extras including the alternate feature-length TV edit version of the film! I give the film 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

The Master of Italian Horror Davide Melini Returns with Deep Shock

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Award-winning director Davide Melini has a new film, “Deep Shock”, set to be released soon.

“Deep Shock” attempts to pay tribute to the Italian film genre called “giallo” (thrilling). The title is inspired by the most famous horror movies of two of the most important Italian directors: Dario Argento (“Deep Red”) and Mario Bava (“Shock”).

Produced by Luca Vannella (“Avengers”, “Thor”, “Harry Potter”, “Apocalypto”, “Heart of the Sea”), Alexis Continente (Murder on the Orient Express”, “Transformers: The Last Knight”, “Thor”), Vincenzo Mastrantonio (“Titanic”, “Moulin Rouge”, “The Passion of Christ”, “Romeo + Juliet”), Bobby Holland (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Game of Thrones”, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, “007 – Quantum of Solace”), Ferdinando Merolla (“Troy”, “Gangs of New York”, “Hannibal Rising”), Roberto Paglialunga and shot with the very high end Red Epic Dragon 6K camera, this short film has both the funding and pedigree to be an incredibly polished and professional cinematic experience.

“Deep Shock” stars Muireann Bird, Francesc Pagès, George Bracebridge, Lorna Larkin, Erica Prior and Luis Fernández de Eribe.

Here the synopsis:

Sarah can’t completely overcome the deaths of her grandfather and her older sister. The trauma and lack of sleep cause her to embark on a strange journey of apparitions and murders, apparently caused by her mind…

 

The trailer looks simply amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJVeMjjNPfs.

 

Official Website: http://davidemelini.com/DEEPSHOCK

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeepShockDavideMelini

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeepShock_2017

 

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2277640/?ref_=nm_flmg_prd_1

 

Holy Terror “The Devil is Real”

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Los Angeles, CAHoly Terror is a film from production house CineRidge Entertainment, the same production company behind Samurai Cop 2 (2015). Holy Terror was developed by writer and director Rich Mallery (Sociopathia, 2015). As well. the film stars: Mel Novak (Game of Death), Vida Ghaffari (“The Mindy Project”), Kristine DeBell, Lisa London, Kelly Reiter and many more! Now, a release date has been announced for the film, including a Video-on-demand launch and World Premiere, in Los Angeles.

The film’s story involves an exorcism gone very wrong. A family have lost their son, but they still want to make contact. Once they bring in the help of a medium, they connect with their deceased son. But, they also make contact with a malicious demon. This demon crosses over and possesses their daughter, leaving everyone vulnerable to further possessions.

Holy Terror is slated for a theatrical launch in Los Angeles. The film will show at the Laemmle NoHo 7, on March 28th, 2017; film reviewers are invited to attend. Following the theatrical release, the film will be available through Amazon Prime, on April 1st, 2017. Horror film fans, in the United States, will be able to see this exciting feature as Holy Terror receives a wide release. The director says of the film and its release: “Holy Terror works on deep psychological levels…and this is a completely different type of film!” And, audiences are encouraged to attend, later this month.

Official synopsis: Believing their deceased son isn’t at peace, Molly and Tom ask a medium to make contact. But after they invite a vengeful demon to cross over, the couple must enlist the help of a disgraced priest to attempt a dangerous exorcism.

The film’s Facebook fan page: https://www.facebook.com/holyterrormovie/

More details on the World Premiere: https://www.facebook.com/events/214844015657938/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #401

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Gross Movie Reviews #401

 

Sledgehammer (DVD/YouTube) – No, this isn’t a remake of the 80s S.O.V. flick we remember so fondly. And no the filmmaker Joshua Miller isn’t the former punter of the Pittsburgh Steelers. With that out of the way it is a film about a young man Yolner who is having a bad day. His girlfriend broke up with him, his car broke down, he is threaten to be fired, and on top of that his co-workers pull a prank on him by putting shrooms in his coffee. Yolner loses mind and goes on a psycho rampage killing his co-workers, random people, all in the search for his former girlfriend. He is nicknamed the “Sledgehammer Killer” by the press as he continues his rampage through the city! Watching this I thought I was going to get this cool ‘Jackhammer Massacre’ type of flick? Oh, I was so wrong and wanted to turn this flick off 25 minutes in as it was so terrible. Instead of shorten up the flick and adding blood and guts for fun we get what resembles a horrible music video flashback from the early 90s? Beyond words how terrible this film is, but I got through it and hopes of you not making the mistake I did as I give it 0 out of 4 stars. If curious, stupid, or just like to be abused you can get it through www.braindamagefilms.com .

Peelers (DVD/Vimeo) – A small town strip club owned by a pretty lady named Blue Jean is having the typical rough night she is used too. What is different about this night is Blue Jean has sold the place and has plans to ride off in the sunset on her bad ass cop motorcycle. Things change when some workers from the local mine roll in with oil and dirt all over them wanting booze and naked ladies. When one of the guys feel sick and run to the restroom the fun begins as he pukes up all of his bloody fluids and becomes “a crazed, brutal, brainless killer”! To make it even more interesting it is up to Blue Jean, her pseudo-son, and the bouncer to protect the strippers until they find out the crazy fucked up dudes and is killed with water. Fuck yeah people, ‘Neon Maniacs’ we are talking here people. A surprisingly entertaining flick that is a blend of ‘Feast’ meets ‘Zombie Strippers’ with a tanker full of blood and guts. My only big beef with the flick is the strip dances could have been edited down some. It’s a strip club; we know we are seeing some tits at some point. You do not have to establish every stripper and the dance they do that is called porn. With that aside this pleasant horror surprise is worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ out 4 stars and can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Bethany (DVD/Vimeo) – Apparently James Cullen Bressack is able to poop out movies at will as his latest is a thriller is about a woman whose past comes back to haunt her when her mother dies. When Claire was a kid she did not have any friends and her mother made sure she was in every beauty pageant there was. So Claire begins to talk to her imaginary friend Bethany in the wall of her bedroom. This all flashes back to Claire as she talks to her husband as they plan to stay in her departed mother’s house. Claire wants a family but has had issues since their first try was stillborn and Claire lost her marbles. The longer Claire stays in the house the more odd things happen including Claire speaking to Bethany again. The film gets pretty creepy as secrets are revealed and the film isn’t your typical ‘Paranormal Activity’ cookie cutout bullshit. The film sports a pretty nasty fingernail scene and a serious Tom Green as Claire’s therapist that makes you cringe with joy. I enjoyed the fresh twist with the Bethany character and for that I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. You can find out more at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Psychos (DVD/Vimeo) – Three young women get a disturbing text that shows them in very embarrassing and awkward videos from ten years ago. So J.J., Sasha, and Norma set out to find this house that is from their nightmares to steal the DVDs so these videos cannot be posted or texted again. Once there things get stranger as the three women are separate personalities of a young woman who is having recurring nightmares of all the sexual abuse she encountered from these two old pervs that live a normal life! Bloody, creepy, and a little weird makes ‘Psychos’ an interesting watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and more can be found out at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Deviant Behavior (DVD/Vimeo) – Here is a good slow burn kinda of thriller for you from a filmmaker Jacob Grim. A lonely private investigator named Chuck is hired to find a girl that the cops seem to be dragging their feet on. Chuck hits up the usuals: hookers and bums for information. But that goes a little dry until he is visited by an old colleague from the force who tells Chuck it is being covered up. Once Chuck puts a few things together and has a suspect he regrets stumbling into something he never could imagine as two twisted serial killers are the cause for disappearances of the girl he is looking for but many more also. Lots of gore, characters you care about and creepy/fucked up killers make this slow burn type of film make this an interesting watch for horror fans! The film reminds me somewhat of a cool much unknown Christopher Lambert flick ‘Resurrection’. Has that weird fun thriller feel? I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.stxmedia.net/deviant-behavior-movie .

 

Don’t Kill It (On Demand) – Mike Mendez and Dolph Lundgren together for a supernatural horror film equals horror GOLD! Dolph Lundgren aka Mr. Woodley the Demon Hunter rolls into a small Mississippi town looking for a demon that have cause a triple homicide three times in one week. We learn the demon cannot be killed as if you kill the person it possesses you become possessed. So this mucks things up as Mr. Woodley must be able to capture the demon by committing suicide. Mr. Woodley comes from a family of demon hunters who have done this for years and he has been trying to figure out what he can do with this demon so no one can let it loose again. Woodley has trouble trying to explain to the small town folk that you just can’t going blasting it away which leads into an awesome bloodbath at “Town Hall” that will make horror fans drool! Congrats Mr. Mendez and Dolph your film will most likely make my best of 2017 movie list as I give this bad ass horror film 4 stars! It is like someone gave the TV show ‘Supernatural’ Grade A steroids and Dolph Lundgren.

 

The Hunters of the Golden Cobra (DVD/YouTube) – I fell down the worm hole again of cinema in the Philippines in the early 80s. This time around I find this flick that stars David Warbeck in some kind of action/adventure flick that takes place in the 40s. A couple governments get together to hire a British agent and his buddy to find the “Golden Cobra”. This precious artifact will somehow restore order? So off to the jungles where a lost white woman controls the natives and her twin sister tries to screw everybody over for the precious artifact. Pretty corny and fun crap to watch if you are on the lookout for something different as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Beast in the Cave (You Tube) – The latest short film from filmmaker Cameron Mccasland tackles a short story from H. P. Lovecraft. A man writes down what exactly happened to him when he strays away from his tour guide in a cave. Fun Lovecraft stuff for the fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Taught in Cold Blood (DVD/Vimeo) – High School student Cameron is a lonely teenager struggling to get through his day. No dad, no mom (she is mostly a passed out drunk when not yelling at Cameron), and no friends. Even though a pretty girl named Amy tries to make herself known to Cameron he still believes he is alone. That is until Cameron by accident follows a bloody man into the woods only to watch him die at the hands of another man named Tony. After helping Tony dispose of the body, Cameron becomes obsessed with Tony and his killing ways. Cameron returns Tony’s wallet and begins to question Tony everything about murdering someone. While this goes on for days and days Cameron and Amy finally talk after Cameron saves her brother from two bullies. Cameron soon finds himself being pulled in two different directions but soon it becomes very serious when Tony is now obsessed with Cameron and stalks him. Cameron must choose: pretty girl or being a supreme serial killer? A well written thriller that has you invested in the characters and keeps you at the edge of your seat in what Cameron believes he should do… I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and it can be found at www.continuummotionpictures.com and www.mctvnetwork.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

This week we pick a couple films at different ends of cinema

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This week Kyle ventures back out to the theater to see a movie that no one seems to be talking about in A CURE FOR WELLNESS. And Tim brings out a video store favorite that Kyle has never seen in NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE.  Also we talk all the normal things.  What we’ve been watching… and son… and so forth.  WE GOT STAMOS, GENE SIMMONS IN DRAG… AND EELS….. SO MANY EELS…..

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/