Gross Movie Reviews #415

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Gross Movie Reviews #415

 

Return of the Seven (DVD) – No folks I did not find another Donald Jackson “Rollerblade Seven” movie… But this flick is the sequel that was released two years later starring Yul Brynner as the man in black. He now has a bounty on his head but that does not stop him in this western of gathering another group of seven to fight some mean dudes. This time he takes on a Mexican gang of thieves that won’t leave some farmers alone. Nowhere near as exciting as the first movie but worth wasting the two hours on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sentinel (DVD) – A great late 70s creepy flick that has pretty much every Hollywood somebody showing up for screen time. Allison Parker is a fashion model who wants some space and time to herself aka she wants her own apartment and not to be married just yet. She finds a cheap apartment where the only other resident in the building is supposedly some quiet blind dude in the top unit. Once moved in, cue the supernatural mumbo jumbo and Allison is going nuts. The weird happenings are affecting her personal and professional life as she believes she is going crazy. But in reality there is a reason she was meant to be there and it could be for good or evil as the weirdness ramps up! Still a fun flick to revisit as I give it 3 stars.

 

Living Dead World (DVD/YouTube) – A really low budget flick that has a flying object hit earth, make a big flash, and boom low budget zombies. Now the zombies have a civilian, a prisoner, and a US Marshal trapped in someone’s garage trying to survive the night of flesh eaters. I really wish this independent flick was worth talking about but this film is very dull with not a whole lot going on plot wise. I will actually pass if there is sequel as I give this flick 0 stars.

 

Decay (DVD) – I believe a low budget zombie flick from the UK where college engineering students are working at the Large Hardon Collider. They are doing computer models for their school work when the red alert goes off for radiation levels going up down in the tunnels. Believing they screwed up something they go underground and find the off switch. Yeah you heard me right if all else fails turn it off and back on to reset it just like my zombieputer? Doing this everything goes back to normal but now they are lost in the tunnels and wanna kind of explore anyway. Little they know a crew was affecting by radiation in the tunnels and now roam looking to eat flesh. Like the zombies in “The Video Dead” these zombies also don’t have to be shot in the head to go down. The students fight among each other as they try to figure out how to stop the zombies from getting to the surface and for them to escape. The Indy zombie flick has some good zombie chomping moments and the cool tunnel system set keeps you interested long enough to say you were glad you gave the flick a watch. I give Decay 2 stars.

 

Ninja Assassin (DVD) – A Europol agent is looking into some murders that seem not to have a suspect or real motive. But has a crazy theory about ninjas! And the murders are assassinations done by a group of ninjas? Or clan of ninjas? The deeper she goes the more interested other agencies from around the world become interested in her work. Why? Because the agent tracks down a man who possibly is a ninja but he has turned his back on his clan and killing off ninjas and people involved one by one. Brutal bad ass fight scenes make this action flick most amazing and want to watch it over and over as I give it 4 stars.

Wizards of the Demon Sword (DVD) – I found another Fred Olen Ray project that is Conan on a budget of a value meal at McDowell’s. But that doesn’t stop me from being entertained by this 1991 gem where a woman and her father are ambushed. The father ‘Ulric’ is the keeper of a special knife of ‘Aktar’ that in the wrong hands can make a person the most powerful in the world. Lord Khoura now has the blade but is having trouble unlocking its true power and is having trouble tracking down the daughter who he believes is the key. The young woman travels with a young swordsman in hopes of taking down Lord Khoura and saving her father. Lots of boobs (a staple in Fred Olen Ray films) and an appearance by Michael Berryman might make you wanna watch the Deathstalker series again or like me just enjoy the B-movie incarnations that were released after Arnold’s Conan movie was released. Thank you Mr. Olen Ray as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

Nightmare Weekend (DVD) – Not totally sure how I made it through this complete shitfest of a movie but I did for the main reason it was a mid-80s flick that I can cross off my list movies I needed to see. Or in this case I really didn’t need to see. Three young women are invited to a mansion for no apparent reason except to wander and look pretty. Little they know a scientist has been doing experiments with a computer called Apache. And his assistant has some bad intentions for the three young women? But a puppet named George that plays on a Collecovision oversees the virginal daughter of the scientist who seems to get into trouble quite often. Also George tries to override Apache to stop the experiments. Doesn’t make a lick of sense but does a little when you learn the director behind it was famous for making lots of softcore porn flicks so go figure as I give this mess 1 star.

 

Evil in the Time of Heroes (DVD) – A Greek zombie film where zombies are attacking present day Greece and the story follows four people throughout the film who are part of a prophecy. Billy Zane is a mysterious messenger who comes from the past 3000 years ago to help out the new heroes in defeating the evil plague that has hit Greece. The topper of the film is Billy Zane is of course the best thing that happens in the film but once the evil is defeated Greece still gets decimated by the military to stop the spread of evil. I give it 1 star as I needed a little more gore and a little more Billy Zane.

 

Some Guy Who Kills People (DVD) – A very interesting film starring Barry Bostwick as a small town sheriff who is trying to solve a murder or murders as the bodies begin to pile up. Meanwhile, Ken is a mid-30s man working at an ice cream shop and just feels he does not fit in life. Released from insane asylum a few years he keeps to himself especially since he has flashbacks of the high school basketball team torturing him for a comic book he made. As the bodies pile up the one connection to it all is they were on the basketball team that pumbled Ken. Ken is now also trying to juggle a girlfriend and an 11 year old daughter that he never met. Is it Ken killing the people or someone else? The movie is pretty hilarious and has some great gory kills as I give the film 3 stars.

 

The Secret of Crickley Hall (DVD) – A BBC production that flips back and forth from 1943 and present day. A London couple loses their son as mom falls asleep at a park and the kid seems kidnapped. Almost a year after dad has a job opportunity outside of London and they get to move into a house that used to be called Crickley Hall and has a history. The family is just trying to move past their son being gone but strange noises and the kid’s voice is heard in the home. An old man named Percy played by David Werner tries to tell them the haunting tale or warn them about the flash flood that killed all the kids in the orphanage that was once Crickley Hall. A good paranormal buildup for ghost story fans as they connect the events of 1943 to present day Crickley Hall. I give this mini-series 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

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Gross Movie Reviews #414

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Gross Movie Reviews #414

 

The Video Dead (DVD) – A package is delivered to the door of Mr. Jordan aka ‘Bullshit artist’. Problem is Mr. Jordan didn’t order anything but takes it anyhow. It’s a T.V. and Mr. Jordan is a writer so he just sets it up in the living room and goes about his merry way. The T.V. begins playing by itself a black and white zombie flick. When he goes to check it out the zombies come out of the T.V. The delivery people come back the next day to Mr. Jordan dead as the package was supposed to go to “The Institute of Occult Studies”. A few months pass and a couple young college kids, Jeff and Zoe show up to movie in to help out their parents. Jeff finds the weird T.V. talking to him from the attic one night and plugs it in his bedroom. Weird shit happens including an old dude from Texas who has been looking for the T.V. to destroy it and what’s in it. They must hunt the zombies down: destroy them or get them back into the television. A great low budget zombie flick from 1987 that doesn’t play by the typical “zombie rules” and has that S.O.V. feel to it. The effects are great, the plot is very different than most zombie flicks, and you get David Bowie zombie! I give this must watch gem 4 stars.

The Creep Behind the Camera (Blu-ray) – An amazing reenactment documentary about filmmaker Vic Savage aka A.J. Nelson aka Arthur White aka most likely had a few other names. Otherwise a film that documents the insanity behind the making of a bad movie of 1964’s “The Creeping Terror” before stuff like “Troll 2” and “Cursed” were even thought of. Vic gets the filmmaking bug and moves himself and his first wife out to Hollywood during the 50s to make “the biggest monster movie anyone has seen!” Never mind the bad movie as much as Vic Savage was a complete psycho, womanizer, drug addict, drunk, con man! True stories told by living cast members, his first wife, producer, etc. Vic Savage was such a complete maniac that his monster maker stole his own creation during filming because he wasn’t paid, change actresses, sets, hung out with Charles Manson (before we all knew who he was), god complex, threesomes, Vic was completely insane. So insane he disappears into the night leaving what was considered the finished product/film in the garage with no sound, slate, etc. This is stuff that could not be made up about a film that is one of the first two movies I can legitimately remember watching. This film started it all for me and to watch this and learn of this insanity just made me absolutely love this documentary! It is beautiful insanity that needs to be watch and rewatched to be believed! There is lots of cool extras on the Blu-ray: The Creeping Terror movie of course but my favorite extra “How to Build a Carpet Monster”. Once again, Synapse Films does not disappoint as I give this wonderful package 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Phenomena (Blu-ray) – The creepy Dario Argento film that stars a young Jennifer Connelly who plays a character named Jennifer who can communicate with bugs. Her famous father sends her to a gifted Swiss school where of course she isn’t well liked. Doesn’t help Jennifer sleep walks and finds herself outside almost being run down by a couple of weirdos and eventually meets a Dr. McGregor played by Donald Pleasance an entomologist. Besides the good doctor explaining she is in the part of the mountains that is considered the “Swiss Transylvania” he does notice and admire Jennifer’s ability with insects. The doctor soon recruits her help in his research for a killer in the area who is killing young women. The Blu-ray pack has three different versions of the film: The 110-minute hybrid cut which was awesome and never seen, the 110-minute international cut, and the 83-minute U.S. cut called “Creepers” which I grew up seeing. Along with a commentary and the different versions of the horror film there is also Dario Argento’s World of Horror documentary which is a pretty awesome thing to have in this 2-disc pack. The movie looks beautiful and it was really cool to finally see this hybrid cut as I give the movie 3 stars and the package 4 out of 4 stars as this should end collectors looking for any other copy of “Phenomena”. To find out more about the 2-disc Blu-ray go to www.synapse-films.com .

 

Acid Bath (DVD) – A 2006 insane independent film that sports a character named Zeke who has a fetish for killing hookers. The film follows his insanity in this exploitation-type flick that also has a man shooting gang members with a rocket launcher! Not much on plot but has grittiness and insanity in spades as you feel like you found a lost Polonia Brothers’ film from the late 80s as I give it 2 stars.

 

Redemption (DVD) – Jason Statham is a war vet back from the recent war living as a bum and wants left alone. One night two nasty dudes beat the crap out of him and take his roommate he was looking out for. He stumbles into a loft being chased by the two men and realizes no one is home. Takes a hard long look at himself, quits drinking, cleans up, and goes looking for the girl. But also uses the loft as home as the tenant isn’t coming back for months. He gets a job as muscle for the Chinese boss man to take people’s money. He uses his share to buy pizzas for the poor and try to give back to the nun that would help him and others who are on the street on a nightly basis. Or as I like to call it a very sad and depressing entry into “The Transporter” series as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Outside the Law (DVD) – Cynthia Rothrock was working for the CIA in Columbia until her team and boyfriend were set up. Now she is back in the states and just wants to forget everything. Meanwhile the legendary Stephen Macht is trying to track her down in Florida and find out what she knows? Also the dad from “Wonder Years” shows up and cool action dude James Lew to face off with Cynthia in the climatic fight. But mostly its Cynthia hanging out in Central Florida helping out a young couple avenge the dude’s sister who was killed by a B-movie dickweed! Give the action flick 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

Triple Threat Match: we just dropped three new episodes!

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This week we may make enemies of the fans as we take on 2 of the most decisive entries in 2 of the biggest horror franchises of all time.  But first we talk about a dumb movie about birds that go on the attack in BEAKS.  Then Kyle explains that by taking your franchise to space only makes it cooler and more fun as he covers JASON X.  Then Tim and Kyle go over in great detail how Tim’s fascination of being able to inherit an aging Leatherface that dwells in your basement may be the best idea ever as we cover TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D.  Also we answer all your questions, and have a little Facebook live chat nonsense.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

We return! And we are bringing the king of the monsters with us as Kyle checks out the latest theatrical Godzilla flick Shin Godzilla.  Then Tim covers an independent Possession / heist / gore / monster flick straight outta South Africa in A HOUSE ON WILLOW STREET.  Also we answer all you questions.  Review this week’s watch, And take you to monster civics class.  #ROARRRRRRRR

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week we lost legendary filmmaker George A. Romero. So, we asked the fans of the show to writ in and tell us tales of the man and his movies… and they did.  Also, we have 2 anthologies.  The first is Kyle’s pick for the best anthology ever in NIGHTMARES.  And lastly some shot on video oddity that Tim found that includes ex-pornstar Ginger Lynn as a ninja that is trapped in hell (you read that right) in SATAN’S STORYBOOK.  R.I.P. George

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Two for one special at Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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We return to bring you a whole show devoted to a very sticky topic.  Linda Blair!  Love her, or hate her she did a lot of weirdo movies.  First she teams up with Flash Gordon (Sam Jones) to fight ninjas in SILENT ASSASSINS.  Then she fights off punks at her uncle’s house who happens to be a quasi-Tom Savini type of guy in GROTESQUE.  Then when her slutty rich friend is kidnapped she rounds up a bootleg A-Team to go to Central America to get her back…. And maybe also to find Richard Lynch laying a flute and hanging out with a monkey in NIGHT FORCE. All this and we answer your questions and talk a bunch of gibberish. Your dog would want you to listen.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week we invite good buddy Danno Klonowski back to the show. He brings with him an interesting HBO true crime documentary about mental health, murder, and internet nonsense in BEWARE THE SLENDERMAN. Then Tim asks “why are there so many people fucking in the woods?” in DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS.  And last Kyle summons dragons.  And when you have dragons you gotta have Mad Dog McConhaughy in REIGN OF FIRE (just ignore the plot holes in this one folks).

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Suburban Nightmare THE ICE CREAM TRUCK coming this August!

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Writer-director Megan Freels Johnston’s suburban nightmare The Ice Cream Truck will hit theaters August 18 and be released day-and-date on VOD via Uncork’d Entertainment. A new trailer and poster have been released to coincide with the release.

The provocative psychological thriller stars Deanna Russo (Being Human, Gossip Girl) as Mary, who moves back to her suburban hometown after her husband gets relocated for work.  As her family ties up loose ends back home, she moves into their new house alone. And although the move makes Mary nostalgic for her youth, there’s something very sinister about that Ice Cream Truck that patrols her suburb.

The Ice Cream Truck also stars Dana Gaier (Despicable Me 3), John Redlinger (Thirst, Banshee), Emil Johnsen (Isolerad), Hilary Barraford (Go For Sisters), Jeff Daniel Phillips (31),  and Lisa Ann Walter (War of the Worlds).

Storytelling is very much in Freels Johnston’s DNA.  The granddaughter of legendary crime writer Elmore Leonard, The Ice Cream Truck screenplay was a semi-finalist in the Circus Road Screenplay competition.

As a producer developing material for over a decade, Freels Johnston worked on adaptations of her grandfather’s work and produced Sparks, the directorial debut of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  After completing a project for the USA Network, she decided to follow her passion and write and direct her own material. Her first film, 2014’s micro budget thriller Rebound, developed a cult following on VOD, was called, “Almost David Lynchian in its strangeness” by Film Threat and Rue Morgue said, the film “(was) worth watching to the end for the unnervingly realistic twist ending.”

The Ice Cream Truck will be released in theaters and on VOD August 18.

Official Synopsis :
Mary’s husband gets relocated for work which allows her to move back to her suburban hometown. As her family ties up loose ends back home, Mary moves into their new house all alone and….waits. Yet in this idealistic world, something seems very odd. The Ice Cream Man, a symbol of youth and good times, starts killing some of her neighbors. Mary soon learns that the suburbs are scarier in more ways that she ever remembered.

 

NEW TRAILER
http://tinyurl.com/TRAILERICECREAM
or
https://youtu.be/PxEQnYpy_-U

 

NEW POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMPOSTER

IMAGES

http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMIMAGES

We posted four shows this week so you should be tired of us for awhile!

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This week we review the biggest movie of the summer in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Vol. 2.  And Kyle talks about the finest example of truckersploitation in CONVOY.  Then Tim talks about a film with one of his favorite guys of all time in it Mr. Donald Gibb in JOCKS.  Also, we answer your questions that come through Facebook live. And a ton of other nonsensical bullshit.  So please check it out.  Do it for Rubber Duck!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we welcome our good buddy JON CROSS back to the show to talk about Eric Roberts (and his mullet) in the awesome, and no so talked about, Larry Cohen joint THE AMBULANCE.  Then Kyle picks an action flick that has the best cast of B list dudes in NO ESCAPE (an action flick that Jon has never seen to our surprise) and finally we discuss a flick that was a staple on USA up all night in CHOPPER CHICKS IN ZOMBIE TOWN.  Also, We answer all your questions, talk about Horror Realm memories, and have a general, all around good ass time.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we discuss two new flicks.  One of which is one of the worst pieces of trash we’ve picked for the show.  The first being a movie that promises you a Sasquatch but doesn’t deliver a sasquatch in SCREAMS OF A WINTERS NIGHT.  And the second we venture out to the theater to check out ALINE: COVENANT.  Also Baseball chats (because that’s exciting) Kyle tells the story of the time he shit his pants, what we’ve been watching, news, and SKEXIES….

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we talk about one of Kyle’s favorite actors Crispin Glover in one of the best remakes this side of The Thing in WILLARD.  Then Tim picks an early entry in the slasher genre that neither of us has ever seen in THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD.  We answer questions, join Facebook live, and whatnot… so; listen or rats will eat your flesh

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #407

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Gross Movie Reviews #407

 

The Watcher in the Woods (VHS) – So I decided to sit down and watch this nonsense from 1980 where two sisters and their mother go to buy an old house off an old lady. The old lady thinks the older daughter is her daughter Karen from years ago that disappeared and talks to the woods every once in a while. The younger sister is played by the girl who played “Lindsey” in the horror classic ‘Halloween’. So of course the rest of the movie is spent me being Tommy Doyle behind the curtain trying to scare Lindsey until the alien shows up and returns Karen! Don’t worry you are not missing much in this flick as I give it 1 star.

 

The Dorm that Dripped Blood (Blu-ray) – I watched this slasher flick for the first time ever! Not totally sure how that happened but never got to see this flick until I picked up that ultimate Synapse Blu-ray. The movie was also known as “Death Dorm” and “Pranks” during the early 80s after its 1981 release. The film’s other memorable trait besides its artwork and titles are a young Daphne Zuniga showing up for five minutes and being a part of an awesome death scene. A generic story for “slasher film” standards but during Christmas break Joanne is in charge shutting down a dorm building and boarding it up. Meanwhile a fuzzy-haired dude that looks like an extra from ‘Slap Shot’ keeps doing a peeping tom routine. So of course soon as the bodies begin to pile up in gruesome fashion the fuzzy-haired dude is to blame. An odd ending to the generic story made me a little underwhelmed by the film but still glad I bought this great edition on Blu-ray. It isn’t: My Bloody Valentine, The Burning, Curtains, maybe even The Prowler but still glad to add it to my collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Monsters among Men (Blu-ray) – A dramatic independent horror film about a couple named Reed and Allison. Reed takes his woman out for a walk near the woods to pop the question. As she is saying no something happens to Reed wear he wakes up in the woods next to a dead guy and another dude digging a grave. Reed escapes and wonders who, what, or where is Allison? He comes to find out she has been abducted by a vampire because she is supposedly a “pure blood source”. Meaning vamps can gain extra strength from her blood and she has no disease. So Reed plans his revenge against these mobster-like vamps and help Allison escape as he still loves her. Most independent horror films that focus on vamps usually flake out by the ten minute mark to show a ton of boobs or lesbians. This isn’t a bad thing but it is always nice to see filmmakers like Ryan Blazic take a chance and make something more? For that I thank Ryan and his crew as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more or to purchase the film at www.monstersamongmen.com .

 

Monsters: Dark Continent (Blu-ray) – A region B Blu-ray I picked up because I wanted to see the sequel but was really intrigued with the aliens/virus whatever you want to call them. Ten years later the contingent is still being fought but is now a part of everyday life especially in the Middle East. U.S. troops must not only fight off insurgents they must also shoot down the monsters as they run rampant in the dessert. Again I enjoy the concept of the “Monsters” but I think the writers and filmmakers miss the point of what this could be? The film is more about war than the monsters and makes you question are the writers and filmmaker trying to make a statement or a possible cool concept? Either way I believe this film and the original could be much more (Aliens franchise for example) but with the lack of interest in the US for the films and money needed to make the films this was most likely the last sequel we get anyway. I give the concept 3 or 3 ½ stars but the movie only 2 ½ stars.

 

Thirst (DVD) – Just a simple creature feature where troubled teens are sent to a boot/wilderness camp of sorts in the middle of the dessert for a week. Once there a metallic space alien arrives and begins feeding on the teens until they figure out a way to fight back. Think of “Ticks” with Seth Green from the early 90s on maybe even a lower budget. I may have enjoyed the simple creature flick but I do know Project mother fucking Metalbeast would have made this film that more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Presidents Day (Vimeo/DVD) – So you haven’t gotten all your holiday horror films fill yet? Well don’t regret it as another has been made that focuses on the Presidents Day weekend. I believe college kids… but not a major plot point are on their way to an old hunting cabin to celebrate Presidents Day weekend or just to get drunk. The kids are all your usual stereotypical slasher movie characters and they even point it out during the movie. They just happen to piss off the dead that just happen to be all the dead presidents or zombie versions of them? Anyhow the film is kind of slow and you feel like this is the usual independent crap that gets floated out there on a regular basis but it isn’t! Believe me give it a chance to get going as once the presidents are all up shambling or running around trying to kill the kids hilarious shit begins. Whether it is the bad puns, one of the dead presidents having sex with Ashley and then there is duel over her, or the presidents from the 1800s having a wrestling match after finding out there was a black president I absolutely couldn’t stop laughing. The independent flick doesn’t try to be hipster cool or reinvent the motion picture it understands it is a very low budget flick and uses it to its advantage. Oh there isn’t much plot but when a dead John Wilkes Booth arrives to help the kids kill Lincoln it is all so wrong but right and hilarious at the same time! Presidents Day is a fucking blast and I will debate myself on whether it will make my ‘Best of 2017’ list? But until then I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #405

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Gross Movie Reviews #405

 

Territory 8 (DVD) – Depending what country you rent the film from or buy it is also known as ‘District 8’. Nope, don’t think it. The flick has nothing to do with anything as this flick was released in 2013 as nuclear waste disaster film. Some corporate/government types made an accident happen to see its results. But they were not counting on it seeping into the drinking water and soil and getting a town nearby sick. Now quarantined the town waits for the cure while a couple dudes in this top secret place try to come up with the cure. The natives get restless and raid the top secret buildings looking for blood as military won’t allow anybody to leave the area. Think the 80s film ‘Warning Sign’ but much more of a uninteresting watch. I give this piece of trash a ½ star.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two (Theater) – So Marvel sets out to prove again they can make a movie that appeals to everyone and they did! The film picks right up from the first flick where the Guardians are fighting a monster for some conceded Gold people/assholes. After Rockit steals a couple batteries a whole armada comes aiming for the heads of the Guardians. With some help by a dude on a flying egg they make their escape and set down for repairs. They are greeted by Starlord’s father aka Kurt Russell and that is where the fun begins as we learn why Starlord’s father left him. After a few great 70s songs the Guardians are back at it by saving the universe from Starlord’s father as he plans on remaking all the worlds in his own way! Once again the film is freaking hilarious but I think I still enjoy the first film just that little more as I give this fun popcorn superhero flick 4 stars. There is a couple surprises as usual but also has the fans wanting more?

 

Doctor Strange (DVD) – Now this was an intriguing superhero movie that I thought could have gone south real bad. But surprise another interesting superhero movie that will have sequels. For those who don’t know, Doctor Strange is a great doctor who looks to fix the impossible in people’s bodies. But when he is in a severe accident that destroys his hands, Strange is devastated. With his last pennies he finds himself at the butt end of the world where he meets a woman, a wizard, or something that will cure him of his ailments. Strange being stubborn but a quick learner uses his photographic mind to become a powerful person who can help the world in many ways besides using his hands for surgery again? As he learns the ways to twist our world around with great power, that dude that played Hannibal on the TV show wants to let an evil presence take over the world. Compared to a lot of the recent superhero flicks, ‘Doctor Strange’ is quick but to the point. But Marvel/Disney also prove they can reach into the barrel of secondary but interesting superheroes and give us great movies but also expand the movie universe of what’s to come? I give old Doc Strange 3 stars and here is to hope of seeing a Spider-man cameo in the next flick.

Avalanche Sharks (DVD) – Ancient spirit sharks haunt a ski mountain resort when their totem is disturbed and begin feasting on all the skiers during spring break! Of course the resort wants to keep it quiet but the local sheriff and his marine biologist wife are trying to warn the young folks of being eaten. But the resort needs the bikini contest to go off without a hitch. Yeah the movie is worse than you can imagine but the casting is what kept me interested in the flick as Erika Jordan (known for her Showtime late night porn flicks) gets bitten in half. And the other is Kate Nauta playing the marine biologist aka crazy bad ass fighting chick from ‘Transporter 2’. And if it helps, this film has no relation to ‘Snow Shark: The Ancient Beast’… I give it 1 star.

 

No Escape (DVD) – The bad ass action flick that everyone forgets about but wants to watch. A film that was released in the 90s that didn’t get much support from the studio but you were glad it existed.  The year is 2022; a giant corporation runs the penial system. Ray Liotta is a Special Forces vet who killed his superior officer ten years before because of ordering him and others to bomb women and children. The event was swept under the rug so Ray’s character went and killed him. Since then Ray’s character has spent his time breaking out of all the maximum prisons. Now he is being sent to an island where no one escapes and the prisoners are watched by satellites. Once there he must decide is he with the crazy people or the prisoners who are trying to be peaceful and make the best with what they have on the island. The film is similar to Christopher Lambert’s ‘Fortress’: action packed, great cast, and not a lot of people have seen it but they know about it! I have always been a big fan of the film just for the mere reason it stars Lance Henriksen as ‘Father’. For that I give the film 4 stars and yinz need to watch this awesome flick!

Hangar 18 (DVD/YouTube) – A film that comes off as a TV movie but was actually released to theaters in 1980 about the event of aliens that crash landed on earth and were supposedly held up in Hangar 18. Darren McGavin plays the lead official for NASA and is asked to lead a team of scientists on studying the alien ship after it was forced down by a US satellite. Meanwhile Robert Vaughn plays a hard ass dude looking out for his own ass and the president’s as its election year and this incident must be covered up. So let’s blame the two astronauts. The two astronauts aren’t having anything to do with the blame or the cover up and soon start their own investigating as they are being followed by government agents. Vaughn is just trying to get through the next two weeks of the election and no one will care any longer. But when the astronauts learn of “Hangar 18”, the government pulls out all the stops to kill them and the NASA team so no info will be leaked out. In some circles this was seen as a documentary of the event and in other circles it’s all considered crap. Either way I am sure Chris Carter had this flick on his brain when he was developing ‘The X-Files’ TV show. For that I am thankful and give this this alien flick 2 ½ stars.

 

American Exorcism (DVD/Vimeo) – Damon is a dude that seems to be a fun family man but he has a demon trapped in him that he uses to help with exorcisms with his buddy who is a reverend/priest. After helping out a guy named Dale Damon comes home shouting things at his wife as he claims “it’s not her”. After an argument with his priest friend and trying to exorcise the demon from his wife, she is shot to death. Ten years pass and it’s believed the demon has possessed the body of his daughter   as the priest friend has come looking for Damon to explain they must perform an exorcism on her at midnight of her 18th birthday. Damon struggles with this as he hasn’t been in contact with her since her mother’s death but knows the exorcism needs to be done. The movie is a classic example of good idea but poor execution. Great job of building the Damon character and his background but it goes to the pooper quickly after the character’s wife dies. No matter what I am sure the younger crowd who have become somewhat obsessed recently with these types of films will seek it out as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Master of the World (DVD) – The year is 1868 and all is well in post war Pennsylvania. That is until Vincent Price decided to build an airship inside a mountain and scare the crap out of people live nearby with all the noise and his voice. Chuck Bronson shows up to investigate and gets into a hot air balloon to check it out but is shot down. Price’s character kidnaps Bronson and others so they can witness his great unstoppable airship and what it will do to the world.  While Price’s character creates havoc all over the world Bronson and others must wait for the precise time to jump ship and sabotage the voyage! I give the 1961 film 3 stars.

 

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