Come visit us!

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A special thanks to Kevin Kriess for allowing us Tom Gross and Tim Gross, the Gross brothers to set up on Saturday and pimp Grossfest! Also Tom will have zombies to sell,and I will have my books, beer koozies, a few indy movies to sell. We will be discussing Grossfest 2 and if you are nice maybe we will talk a little bit about Grossfest 3? You its gonna happen horror fans. So come meet the Gross brothers this Saturday along with all the other crazy awesome living dead stuff and people! See yinz Saturday!

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Gross Movie Reviews #475

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Gross Movie Reviews #475

 

Mind Trap (YouTube) – Another Dan Haggerty classic was unearthed from 1989 but oh I was wrong as Mr. Haggerty was much underused in this feature and has the look of being on set for one day. What else doesn’t help is when you go search everybody involved with the film on the Google machine this was pretty much it. Anyway in this weirdo film where a cat is used as a weapon Dan Haggerty plays an agent for this girl Shana. She just happens to be casted in several B-films that she quite enjoys but might have her big break coming. That is all put on hold when her father is killed by the KGB for his mind control research. Shana’s father built a dream room under their house but has only seen it once but the KGB kills the rest of her family trying to get it. Shana plays a weird game of cat and mouse if that is what you wanna call it with the KGB as she uses her movie skills to take them on. This movie is actually very terrible and found myself laughing several times because how bad it gets. Also the film disappointed me greatly as there are very few scenes of Dan Haggerty… I may have to go rewatch “Night Wars” or “The Channeler” as I give this a ½ star.

 

100 Bloody Acres (Shudder) – An Australian film about The Morgan Brothers who make organic manure. These two brothers recently hit it big with a big name client as they have a special formula of manure that involves dead bodies. If roadkill isn’t available any dead human will do. Brother Reg who just picked up a dead body from the side of the road picks up three music festival goers believing he can just drop them off and get with the hot redhead Sophie. Sophie is everything to Reg as she sings the golden oldies and still has some country girl in her. But things go south quickly as both of her boyfriends find the dead body in back, but too late Reg has gotten them to his older brother. Now the only thing in the way is Reg protecting Sophie from being grinded up in the manure by his big brother. One mishap after another result in 80-year old pussy eating, a cop who is best friends with the brothers being shot, and Sophie admitting she actually likes Reg and not the two guys she is with. It’s weird enough and gory enough the film is a very pleasant surprise of a horror film as I give it 3 stars.

 

Deadly Games (YouTube) – Apparently this 80s or 70s slasher but actually thriller has reappeared again for people to watch for free and how it gets you to watch is it stars a young Steve Railsback and the legendary Dick Butkus. Anyhow Billy Owens who just reopened the local town movie theater and a cop Roger Lane got this weird war buddy relationship going on. If that isn’t enough everybody in this west coast town is married and banging everyone else except their spouses to the point I thought I was watching the wrong movie when the pool scene came on. Because everyone is bumping uglies a masked killer who also happens to be a peeping Tom begins killing off people. There really isn’t an ending and this weird movie formula works on some level so if you got some time to kill give this a try as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shazam! (Theater) – Captain Marvel, ha-ha caught you sleep reading… Anyway DC lets this family film out about a 14 year old kid named Billy Batson who becomes a superhero that is strong as Superman because his heart is pure. He is picked by a wizard to carry on the Shazam tradition and defeat the evil power of the Seven Deadly Sins. Billy being a runaway who doesn’t have a family learns what the most important thing is having a family and that helps him defeat the evil Seven Deadly Sins. But what does this have over Batman and recent Superman flicks: it’s funny, interesting, a great origin story and it isn’t Batman or Superman. The sooner DC universe learns you can dig deep into your comic archives without having the big two involved the sooner we can see more cool flicks like “Shazam!”, “Wonder Woman”, hell even “Aquaman”! This is the most family oriented comic book hero film I have seen to date and its great as I give 3 ½ stars.

 

Monster Island (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Just when I thought SyFy Channel turned into the Harry Potter network they pull this Asylum Entertainment project out of their ass that stars Eric Roberts as a Navy general. A giant volcanic monster named ‘Tango’ or giant star fish has risen from the deep depths of the ocean to cause destruction on Earth. But there is a legend of a monster called ‘The Living Mountain’ when brought to life it will kill the giant magma filled starfish. Yes it is their version of the new Godzilla movie but if you enjoy silly shit involving monsters then grab a beer and enjoy Eric Roberts talking to himself as I give it 2 stars.

 

Await Further Instructions (DVD) – This is a post-apocalyptic oddity as it takes place at the holidays. The news keeps reporting strange going-ons with the U.S., China, and Russia like WWIII is about to happen, then blackness. The plot is the son comes home with his Indian girlfriend to meet mum but the family is super racist. Once they figure it is a bad idea it is too late as they wake up early to leave but the house is covered in a black metallic substance and a message on the tele reading “Await Further Instructions”. The family quickly turns on each other as they believe the girlfriend is infected and the father only believes what the tele tells him. What is outside and how to get out is unknown? A super weird flick that has that uneasy “Videodrome” and “The Mist” feeling to it with an ending that will just leave you asking a shitload of questions. I give it 3 stars as your homework assignment is to go watch it report back to me!

Revenge of Billy the Kid (DVD) – If you are looking to fulfill your British film weirdness well this film about the McDonalds on an isolated island will do. These back woods farmers called the McDonalds sell their crops to mainlanders but try to keep to themselves on this island. Well the father McDonald gets all horned up one day walking with his prize goat and yes he makes it his mate! Little time passes as the goat of course gives birth to a mutant. The one young woman Ronnie that lives on the farm gives it the name Billy and tries to take care of it until it runs away. When it is all grown up Billy’s ugly ass comes back for a killing spree of the family! If you need more bestiality in your life this 2 star film is all you.

 

The Perfection (DVD) – A thriller with a couple bizarre well written twists takes place in the music world. A cello artist named Charlotte who was as perfect as god according to her teacher had to leave the famous music training school to take care of her sick mom. A decade passes and a new prodigy has risen named Lizzie. Charlotte tracks her down along with her old teacher to get back in the music world. Lizzie and Char hit it off immediately and head off for a little vacation but Lizzie is not feeling well at all. Lizzie is later found all drugged up on the side of the road by herself and missing something. Without saying too much the film takes a couple turns in the story that you will not expect and quite enjoy the finish. Don’t mind you see some blurred out man meat from Steven Weber it’s all part of the process as I give it 3 stars.

Shed of the Dead (DVD) – Trevor is a man living out his fantasy world in his shed when he isn’t hanging with his buddy Graham playing some Dungeons and Dragons type game. Trevor and the wife don’t get along and he is in between jobs and now the neighbor Kane Hodder wants him evicted for not taking care of his lot. Trevor as Casimir the Destroyer always knows what to do but in the real world Trevor hates life until… the zombie apocalypse hits and Trevor tries to decide should he save his wife and just hang out with his friend Graham who finally was able to leave his house. There is also a couple other fun names in here: Brian Blessed who does voiceover, Michael Berryman which may own the most famous recent death in a movie to become a zombie? (He is dressed as a leather horse with a butt plug, you need to see it just because!), and Bill Mosley as Doc who is excited the zombie apocalypse has happened. It is a clone of “Shaun of the Dead” a bit but don’t let that dissuade you from enjoying this entertaining zombie film that needed more Kane Hodder as the Canadian. For that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #474

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Gross Movie Reviews #474

 

I Spit on Your Grave: Déjà vu (On Demand) – Meir Zarchi is back with a direct sequel to the original even bringing back Camille Keaton to reprise her role as Jennifer Hills. Well Jennifer Hills had a daughter Christy who has become a super model. The two are having lunch together and Christy is talking about getting out of the business. But unbeknownst to the mother/daughter combo there is two men in the parking lot waiting for them. They have old business to take care of. These redneck relatives want revenge against Jennifer Hills. The film uses flashbacks of the first film along as it moves a little slow. Christy wasn’t supposed to be a part of the kidnapping but now she is and she must fight for survival. As the two get separated by their redneck captors time runs out for Jennifer and eventually Christy is met with the safe fate her mother did all those years ago. Christy being just like her mother is a very vengeful bitch and not leaving until she has her mother’s body. Jamie Bernadette plays a wonderful vengeful bitch, a weird ending to the film, and the film is a little too long for my taste. But I was happy to see the original Jennifer Hills back in movie that takes on the “What if?” scenario. ‘Déjà vu’ was solid, bloody, and an entertaining conclusion the series. I give it 3 stars.

 

Hooker with a Hacksaw (DVD) – A newer Donald Farmer flick that focuses on a young lady named Kristen who makes her cash doing the phone sex numbers in the back of the newspapers. Kristen is usually pretty upfront about not meeting people through there but makes an exception for Mitch in exchange for pills. Kristen regretting doing this soon understands this has opened the door for all the weirdos to call her for all their fetishes. Kristen tries to move on with a new girlfriend but when the weirdos come back and steal her girlfriend Kristen snaps. And its hacksaw time! The movie is a bit choppy but has its moments as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Molly (Blu-ray) – A new post-apocalyptic film out of the Netherlands about a young woman named Molly who roams the Wasteland for food and shelter. She is a loner but there has been a story of her in some of these survival camps including the one that holds their nightly cage fighting. Molly tries to keep to herself because she a past she does not fully remember. Through flashbacks and dreams we learn she was experimented on by the government and escaped to the Wastelands. With these experiments she has somehow harnessed super powers. A crazy dude that runs the cage fights wants Molly for his main attraction so his gang kidnaps the little kid she is watching over. Molly instead of doing the cage fighting thing goes all John Wick on everybody in the last 15 minutes of the movie. This post-apocalyptic tale is weird and fun. I wouldn’t call it “Mad Max” meets “Turbo Kid” like the box said, I believe it carves its own little niche into the post-apocalyptic genre as I give it 3 stars.

 

Mortal Engines (On Demand) – It took 60 minutes for the world to destroy itself. Now many years later for humanity to survive they have made the cities mobile. But a man named Valentine is using London to find a weapon that has long been gone but started the war that destroyed everything in 60 minutes, the Quantum Energy Weapon. He believes they can use this to not only break through the wall to the east but rule the world. A young lady named Hester wants to stop him as Valentine killed her mother long ago. The effects were cool and story is okay but this wasn’t a movie that is gonna make you sore you miss it as I give it 2 stars.

 

Prospect (DVD) – A father/daughter combo do one last space drop to a planet for one last dig. Approached by two armed men things go south quickly. Now one of the men is killed and the girl is missing a father because he is also dead. Both stranded they must become unlikely friends in order to survive and find a way off the planet. Interesting story but I wanted me some space monsters as I give it 2 stars.

 

Iron Sky: The Coming Race (On Demand) – Survivors from what was Earth now live on the dark side of the moon in 2047 in the old Nazi stronghold. Planet Earth has become a nuclear wasteland with not much life left. But an old Nazi spaceship arrives at the moon with what’s left of Earth survivors. They explain the ship just automatically had the coordinates but never count out a Nazi as Udo Kier is back and has made his way back to the stronghold with the survivors. He explains to an engineer he is an alien and there is a power source to help them long term at the center of the earth called the ‘grail’. If they go back in the spaceship and steal it he would help. Nowhere near as fun as the first film but has its moments with Tom Green as a priest! I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Hard Target 2 (DVD) – Scott Adkins plays a MMA dude named Wes Baylor who kills his sparring partner by accident in the ring during a big bout. Six months later in Bangkok Wes is a drunk reliving the nightmare that happened in the ring. Wes is approached by a rich dude offering $500,000 for a fight. Wes takes the offer but wants a million clearly in a foreign country he doesn’t understand it wasn’t most likely going to be a fight but a hunt. Wes is the hunted and must make it to the border of Thailand in order to win, if he doesn’t he is dead. Scott Adkins is awesome as usual and it was great having Rhona Mitra in the cast but for me I thought the film was missing a real bad ass villain like a Lance Henriksen or Rutger Hauer. Hell I would have taken Ice-T or Gary Busey just because of “Surviving the Game” but anyway I give it 2 stars.

 

Range 15 (DVD) – A band of misfit soldiers are arrested and wake next morning to a zombie apocalypse. These army vets led by Mat Best must fight their way to their commander to show him they have a cure for the zombie plague. There are a lot of in-jokes along the way (stuff most likely the group of soldiers only know), cameos, and a good amount of gore. Don’t go into this expecting 1985’s “The Return of the Living Dead” and you should be okay with it. There are appearances by Sean Astin, William Shatner, Danny Trejo, Randy Couture, Keith David, and Ron Jeremy as I give the film 2 stars.

Mega Time Squad (On Demand) – A hilarious New Zealand film where a young man John robs an Asian antiques store and a bracelet. He was just supposed to take the money that was dropped off there for his boss but John wants to start his own thing now. John is warned about the bracelet but chooses to ignore it. But through a series of mishaps and hilarious missteps John figures out it is a time traveling device that makes copies of him. So he gets all his copies together and forms the “Mega Time Squad” to perform his dumb ass schemes to get all the money and to get the girl he is falling for. I give this film 3 stars.

 

Mime Massacre (YouTube) – A wonderful short film about a man who enters a mime classroom and a glorious bloodbath begins! Of course he uses invisible weapons to kill off the mimes as they build walls, close doors, etc. to get away from the man. Want to laugh for a few minutes its worth tracking down as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Colony Mutation (DVD) – Even though this independent feature was released in 1995 it looks much older. But this sci-fi film doesn’t disappoint in the bizarre as Jim and Meredith are married and work at the same genetic design firm. When Meredith finds out Jim is boinking his secretary she wants a divorce and throws a formula she was working on for growth onto Jim. The formula is a tissue-regrowth serum that changes Jim slowly as he becomes hungry for human flesh. If that wasn’t enough Jim’s limbs disconnect from his body and search on their own for food! For not much budget and it being bizarre it is a worthy watch for horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Banana Motherfucker (DVD) – A short film released by Troma where filmmakers Fernando Alle and Pedro Florencio give us a project that is worthy to be mentioned in the same sentence as “Fist of Jesus”! A so-called film crew goes to a cursed cemetery deep in the jungle to begin filming some scenes. Soon the individuals are being ripped a part by bananas and one person survives but should have he survived so the world could be safe? I give this hilarious and entertaining short 4 stars. Imagine if Fulci’s “Zombie” was about bananas killing people?

Alone in the Dark (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst constantly working on projects has another short film about a man who sits alone reading. He looks up and believes he sees something? A creepy short that runs a little under 5 minutes that is more for the audience to decide if the man is alone or not? Mr. Brocklehurst is doing some good stuff and this is no different as I give it 3 stars.

 

Train to Busan (Blu-ray) – I took my time getting to this Korean zombie film and I am sorry for doing that. A man who works constantly finally takes time out of work to take his daughter to Busan to see her mother for her birthday. They board the train as do a couple of weird folks. One of them keeps babbling about “their all dead” while another is a girl who was bitten on the leg and collapses. She begins having seizures and with the train moving the employees are unsure of what to do until she begins chomping down on people. The fast moving virus devours the train quickly but this isn’t just happening on the train it is happening everywhere for some unknown reason. Now with a train full of zombies and the outside world infested with zombies also the passengers that are left become divided and show how humanity is shitty. They have to decide if the train is the safer than the outside world. A brutal, emotional train ride into hell is how I would describe this wonderful zombie flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Shreck (YouTube/DVD) – A grainy ass independent flick from 1990 that has three young gentlemen messing around with Nazi propaganda. With their fake séance they raise the dead in famous Nazi Max Shreck. Now the three are slowly being tortured by the undead Nazi soldier. The film is hilarious at times unintentionally but also a funny thing about the film is its cinematographer is Arch Stanton aka Jim Wynorski. Apparently Jim is a big fan of “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly” as I am and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Death Race: Beyond Anarchy (DVD) – The newest sequel to the remake that was done in 2008 I believe stars Danny Trejo and Danny Glover. This time around Frankenstein has taken over a whole city that is a prison that is walled off from the rest of civilization. Sounds familiar “Escape from New York” fans? Whenever they do the ‘Death Race’ it still gets broadcast but the Weyland Corp believes Frankenstein has gotten too big and it is time to erase him. So the corporation sends in not one but two people to kill to kill the Death Race leader but as like in third film you can’t just kill Frankenstein or you will have chaos. Just another bag of poo called a movie I got bored and watched because it was now the fourth entry… I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #473

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

 

The Nun (DVD) – “The Conjuring” series continues as they did a prequel or more of an origin story for that scary ass nun that scares the nutsacks out of the Warrens. It is set in 1952 where a sect, group, whatever you wanna call them of nuns hang out in this remote castle called the Abbey outside of a small Romanian town. However these quiet young ladies have been keeping an evil secret hidden away from the Vatican and the world. After a young man who delivers food to the Abbey finds a bloody ass nun hung herself he thought he should get word to the right people. So the Vatican sends a priest with a mysterious past and a nun who has yet to take her vows to the Abbey and investigate the suicide. And see if the rumors are true about something evil living there? Once there they both understand quickly this evil is real and must be dealt with in a hurry as its power is beginning to grow. But no matter what happens we all know from the past films with the Warrens the ‘nun’ is still doing some ghostly shit so in the end what was the point of the film? For that I give a meh and 2 stars.

Empire of Ash (YouTube) – Been a little while since I touched on my second favorite genre “post-apocalyptic films”, so I thought it was time to tackle this Canadian thriller from 1988. If I got the backstory right it was supposedly filmed in 1986 then got rereleased in 1988 as “Empire of Ash II” in case you cannot find one, which is why. For another weird fact it was also retitled in some countries as “Maniac Warriors”, no wonder it took me a while to track this lower budgeted crap down. So the apocalypse happened and there are some survivors. Problem there is a crazy ass priest with his band of post-apocalyptic misfits killing survivors who are not down with the new god in ‘New Idaho’. A woman warrior (Danielle) and a weird bootleg of a bootleg loner warrior team up, bump uglies, and try to save the one’s sister. If that wasn’t enough plot for you on the other side of ‘New Idaho’ there is some generic scientists using some survival weirdos of kidnapping fresh victims, I mean survivors to use for their possible cure. In the end a lot of random filler and a hot young lady warrior 80s style fucking shit up but not enough for me to recommend yinz going down the same path of finding this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Empire of Ash III (YouTube) – Yes for the love of Rutger Hauer it had a sequel and I watched it. Released in 1989 it still follows the same female warrior (Danielle) who lost her man, her sister, and really doesn’t seem to care… Supposedly its 2050 and William Smith playing the new bad ass nutzoid priest is out fucking people up in ‘New Idaho’. Danielle after getting naked decides to help a young man rescue his teenage love from William Smith before he boinks her for god! There was little recasting from the first movie as you see a lot of the same people in this sequel but most likely someone got fired to pay for William Smith as he wasn’t doing high profile projects any longer. Best thing I can say about this besides Danielle and William Smith is there are cannibals and for that I give 2 stars. And before I forget this movie was also retitled “Last of the Warriors” at one time.

 

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (Blu-ray) – Okay people I really wanted to like this movie but man this was disappointing folks. The film stars Shane Douglas as himself. Douglas has a feud with another wrestler Billy that gets ugly quick over a woman. Douglas ‘accidentally’ kills this wrestler Billy in the ring. Billy’s Brother Angus in order to get revenge he must sacrifice a nurse to begin his zombie horde, and pay a promoter to set up a private wrestling event at an empty West Virginia prison. A bus takes the wrestlers (Douglas, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, and a few others) along with valets to the prison. Oh before I forget Kurt Angle makes a cameo through the side door that even seems out of place for this film? Now they all must fight through the hordes of zombies because Douglas and this now dead wrestler Billy could get along. Damn that is really playing a wrestling angle… too bad it is pretty boring. It has a little bit of gore and tons of extras but Piper has little to work with to help this feature along as maybe the film idea should have stayed dead as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (Theater) – Holy fuck nuts the action does not stop in this wonderful film. If you are looking for story or closure into the John Wick storyline you won’t find it here. But if you are looking for some of the best action sequences ever for a US film and wanna see John Wick kill hundreds, Mark Dacascos be one of my favorite villains and enjoy his work, Halle Berry have dick-chomping dogs, and be introduced to some bad ass action dudes you may have not had the pleasure watching in other films like I have? Check your brain at the door and allow your mind to be action fucked by this great film. The movie has flaws if you sit back and have been studying the storyline of the franchise as my podcast partners John Shatzer, Kyle Poling, and I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. Imagery is top notch but somewhere behind all that the writers may have forgotten what makes this run? Either way people I don’t care as I was entertained as hell as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Cold Steel (VHS/YouTube) – Jonathan Banks who plays Isaac the Iceman in this direct-to-video thriller wants revenge against Johnny Modine no relation to Matthew Modine. Johnny and Isaac were young cops who were close buddies partying until they got into a scuffle they couldn’t handle in an alley way behind the bar. Johnny got knocked out; Isaac got his throat and face slashed, and their buddy died. Besides killing Johnny’s father on Christmas Eve night he uses a young Sharon Stone to lure Johnny’s trust and let his guard down so The Iceman can play with him before his revenge. Maybe not the best of thrillers but you have amazing car stunts, Jonathan Banks who has always played a great bad guy, Adam Ant as a meth dealer, and Sharon Stone naked, I am in to watch this again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Possession (DVD) – Well this 1981 film was one fucking weird movie folks. Mark and Anna are having marriage troubles. Mark was away for a long time with his government job only to come home and spend some quality family time and find out his wife Anna is not just fucking another dude… But she apparently gave birth to some weird gooey thing in the subway tunnel that she has sex with and you are supposed to decide if its: God, the devil, or just Mark’s clone for some weird unknown reason? When you think the film gets strange and blows past that and just get downright confusing as Anna has an apartment away from Mark and her boyfriend so she can take care of this thing. Which she must kill to feed it by the way but Mark doesn’t understand until the very end when Anna regrets it when they both die. Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill were fucking amazing in way into the roles but I still don’t quite know what I watched in this gooey mystery as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #472

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Gross Movie Reviews #472

 

Weenie Roast Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – High School football star Marty has it all until a serious head injury changes everything. His father brings a football scout to a barbeque and makes Marty show off his skills and in the process smacks his head off the grill in the backyard. Now with no football in his life and on special meds Marty wonders if he will ever be the same person as he has become distant with his girlfriend and friends. He believes the strong meds are giving him visions that aren’t there and confusing him. So the friends and Marty pile into a car, head to a cabin, and play a game of Hide-n-Go Drink! And so the bodies begin to pile up quickly… I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

Avengers: Endgame (Theater) – After all the reknobs on their Google machines were done trying to spoil everything for everyone and bitch about anything opening weekend I went the week after it opened. Once again Marvel knows what they are doing. If you have been a fan of the several films that led up to this finale then you will really enjoy this as it gives closure to most of the characters you have gotten to know. Plus the three hour time feels like a breeze because let’s face it Marvel movie fans they a lot of storylines to cover. It is everything you could want from a summer popcorn flick. Infinity edges Endgame out for me but I felt like everyone got their 30 seconds in this flick. I give this film 3 ½ stars as it was only missing two things for me “Spider-man 2099” and “Blade”, but that’s me the weirdo.

 

American Massacre (YouTube) – After a couple of weeks of people dying in a small town of Victorville a group of friends thought this would be a good time for their Labor Day party. Of course an unknown killer begins to slice and dice through the group but don’t let the played out plot fool you. As only one person was supposed to die but escalates quickly. As the film becomes very interesting in the end it out smarts itself instead of sticking to the original plan of only having one twist. The movie was much better than I ever thought it was going to be so for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Hart-Break Killer (DVD) – Sean Donohue’s latest thriller is more about substance than sleaze but takes you on a very entertaining and trippy ride into the mind of Robert Hart. Mr. Hart is just a lonely, nerdy dude who would like to meet an attractive woman and have a relationship. This simple thing seems to be very hard to obtain as Robert always at odds at what he could do, or what he wants? His constant talks with the man in the dark room seem not to be helping and Robert is thinking about seeing a psychiatrist. Will he help or hurt Robert? Things are unclear as Mr. Hart’s dating woes continue sending him into a deep depression he may not be able to escape. I enjoy Sean’s work and hope he keeps it coming as I give this 3 out of 4 stars. www.gatorbladefilms.com

Werewolf in a Woman’s Prison (DVD) – This 2006 mess of a film might be my sleeper hit of the year. If the actress playing Sarah looks familiar that is because a lot of Full Moon fans would know her as the sultry Batty Boop from the “Killjoy” films. Sarah out in the woods boinking her dude in the woods is disturbed by a creature. This creature happens to be a werewolf that tears up her boyfriend and leaving Sarah wounded. She awakes some time later in a prison for the criminally insane and finds out the boyfriend is dead and she is completely fucked as it’s a foreign country and they want to use her ass! The prison looks to imprison American women for their gain in this rip-off of “American Werewolf in London”. So with her new situation Sarah must learn to survive in her new rapey environment. After a fight and not making friends with most of her bunk buddies she transforms into a werewolf and turns the Canpuna prison into a bloodbath. This film is a large barrel of sleaze and cheese that follows Joe Bob Briggs famous three B’s so well it may make his brain explode as I give this absolutely nutzoid flick 4 stars! The topper is an unbelievable werewolf transformation scene at the end of the film that had no business being that good of a transformation. Don’t think just go watch and understand …

 

Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – A hugely boring ass flick about a couple of country cops taking on two cannibal killing brothers in the mountains. And if wondering… yes there was a good bit of slow motion scenes for no apparent reason. I give the film zero stars as it gives more proof to asking WTF?

 

Amsterdamned (DVD) – A Dutch slasher film I didn’t know much about from 1989 that has the killer using the canals of Amsterdam to his advantage. The film has a very memorable scene of a hooker being killed but then hanged from a bridge where her body just smears along a boat full of children, great stuff. A police lieutenant hesitates to call it a serial killer until the bodies keep stacking up and are killed in similar ways. As the bodies pile up quickly the lieutenant must find out what experienced diver would have this thrill to kill? Of course they get the wrong guy to make it interesting but in the end the police cannot be fooled. A fun watch I give 2 ½ stars too.

The Devil’s Rock (DVD) – A 2011 film from “Night of the Hell Hamsters” filmmaker Paul Campion that sets the film on D-Day eve as soldiers are heading to islands to sabotage Nazi’s large cannons and structures. But the two hear a woman moaning inside the tunnel below and cannot stop themselves from seeing if they can rescue her from the Nazi forces. But what the two soldiers stumbled upon is something they could never expect as they come upon a scene of murder and gore. A German soldier there was on a secret mission to gain an ancient text on the island and test its knowledge. The test was to conjure a demon and control it so Hitler could use it as a weapon and enslave the world. It could change the war. Nothing on the Earth can send it back as the German and New Zealand soldier must work together to send it back to hell or become part of the bloodbath? The demon must eat constantly as I give this wonderful film from Paul Campion 3 stars and glad you are still out there my friend making awesome horror films.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Shed of the Dead is coming!

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West Hollywood, CA (Tuesday, May 14th, 2019) – Shed of the Dead is a zombie thriller, from director Drew Cullingham (Umbrage). One part Shaun of the Dead and one part 28 Days Later, the film follows two slackers, who whittle their days away playing Dungeons & Dragons and painting figurines. As life pressures build up for Trevor (Spencer Brown) and Graham (Ewen MacIntosh), events take an unexpected turn, when the undead turn up in their little gardening spot. Now, it is a fight for survival, in a real zombie apocalypse – this May!

Shed of the Dead is bringing some of the most fearsome horror icons to the screen. Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th fame, along with Bill Moseley (3 From Hell) and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes, 1977) will be part of the action – some in undead form. As well, all three actors will be at: Shriekfest and Monsterpalooza to talk about this re-animated film.

This zombierific title will began a theatrical launch this May, through Indican Pictures. The first showing of the film will take place in North Hollywood, at the Laemmle Theatre, this May 17th. Another showing, across the pond, will begin this May 18th, in London (Sci-fi London). After a theatrical release, which will take place in at least four countries, Shed of the Dead will be available on DVD and Digital platforms this June 6th! There will be lots of opportunities for film fans to see this horror comedy shamble on both big and little screens, this Spring and Summer.

The official trailer for Shed of the Deadhttps://vimeo.com/327153102

The film’s official synopsis: Trevor is in-between jobs. He spends his days avoiding his nagging wife by hiding out in his shed and painting figurines for his wargames with his agoraphobic friend, Graham. Together, they dream of their fantasy hero, the battle mage Casimir the Destroyer. When Mr Parsons, arrives to evict Trevor, everything gets put on hold as a zombie apocalypse starts. Now his primary concern – save his wife or get out of town!!

Release Date: May 17th 2019 (Theatrical) and June 6th, 2019 (DVD, VOD).

Director/writer: Drew Cullingham.

Cast: Kane Hodder, Spencer Brown, Lauren Socha, Emily Booth, Bill Moseley, Brian Blessed.

More on Shed of the Deadhttps://www.indicanpictures.com/new-releases/shed-of-the-dead

The film’s homepage: https://www.shedofthedead.com/

About Indican Pictures: Indican Pictures acquires and distributes feature films to a broad range of entertainment outlets by providing a diverse selection of movies across: theatrical, home video, TV, VOD, PPV and streaming platforms.

Production Set to Begin on Next Installment of Hit Found-footage Franchise

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Los Angeles, CA – May 3rd, 2019 — Pack your bags for another terrifying stay at the infernal Abaddon Hotel. HELL HOUSE LLC III: LAKE OF FIRE, the third installment in the hit found-footage horror franchise, has started production as of May 1 and will premiere exclusively on Shudder later this year.

Writer/director Stephen Cognetti and producer Joe Bandelli have returned for the new installment, along with many of the original Hell House LLC cast. The following castmates will reprise their roles: Ryan Jennifer Jones (Sara), Danny Bellini (Alex), Gore Abrams (Paul), Adam Schneider (Mac), Theodore Bouloukos (Robert) and Jared Hacker (Tony). They are joined by returning Hell House LLC II cast members Joy Shatz (Molly), Jillian Geurts (Jessica) and Brian David Tracy as the demonic former Abaddon Hotel owner Andrew Tully.

Shudder manager Craig Engler has talked about the franchise, recently. Engler said of the films: “the Hell House LLC franchise on Shudder has been hugely popular, and our worldwide premiere of Hell House LLC 2 last year was one of our most watched films ever.” Engler also said of the film’s debut: “we couldn’t be more thrilled to premiere the final chapter of this epically terrifying series exclusively on Shudder!”

 

 

 

 

Terror Film’s president Joe Dain has specifically talked of the third film. Dain said of this latest title: “Hell House III will be taking a cue from the original Hell House LLC, returning to its roots to capture the same intensity and fear that fans and critics alike fell in love with.” Dain also said of the partnership with the filmmakers: “we’re thrilled to be continuing our distribution partnership with Stephen and Joe, and I couldn’t think of a better way to premiere the film than on Shudder. It’s our hope that this third and final installment will not only satisfy the multitude of questions from fans from all over the world, but also act as an exciting precursor for The Abaddon Tapes—a limited series currently in development, which will expand on the history of the Abaddon Hotel, the now infamous setting of the franchise.” The latest film, HELL HOUSE LLC III: LAKE OF FIRE, will be available in just a few months.

In HELL HOUSE LLC III: LAKE OF FIRE, guests both past and present will be forced to battle for their souls as all is revealed about the infamous Abaddon Hotel and the evil that dwells there. Set one year after the events of Hell House LLC II, the hotel is on the verge of being torn down when it is purchased by billionaire Russell Wynn (Gabriel T. Chytry) as the new home for his popular interactive show, Insomnia. He invites journalist Venessa Sheppard (Elizabeth Vermilyea) and her crew to record everything happening inside the hotel leading up to the performance, but they soon encounter a more nefarious plot, one that threatens to unleash a veritable hell on earth.

ABOUT SHUDDER: AMC Networks’ SHUDDER is a premium streaming video service, super-serving members with the best selection in genre entertainment, covering horror, thrillers and the supernatural. SHUDDER’s expanding library of film, TV series, and originals is available in the US, Canada, UK, Ireland, and Germany on most streaming devices for 4.99/month or 49.99/year. To experience SHUDDER commitment-free for 7 days, visit https://www.shudder.com/

ABOUT TERROR FILMS: Terror Films is a genre distribution company specializing in the release of the best indie horror content across the Globe. Learn more at https://www.terrorfilms.net/, and follow HELL HOUSE LLC on Facebook for official updates: https://www.facebook.com/HellHouseLLC/

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up

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This week we tear into 3 more genre flicks.  First we have an Australian conspiracy flick featuring our favorite dude Donald Pleasence in GROUND ZERO.  Then we chat about a regional drive in oddity featuring a mutated sheep monster doing what a mutated sheep monster does best in GOD MONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS.  And lastly Kyle forgets which one of his favorite Mexican actors stars in this hard sci fi slick PROSPECT.  We also talk about the newest news, and all the regular jazz.

 

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This week Kyle gets called into podcast human resources to have a “talk” as we mourn the deaths of Larry Cohen and John Carl Beuchler.  But it’s not all gloom and doom as we will be covering 3 more genre flicks.  First Kyle covers the Netflix jam LOVE, DEATH AND ROBOTS as he gets his animation on.  Then John picks an all-time 80’s boner jam in UP THE CREEK.  And lastly Tim chats about a semi lost bit of sci fi from the darkest depths of the video store in DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.  Also we hit up all the news that is fit to print (or make up if you’re bloody disgusting). So download this episode or all our Rondo awards will evaporate.

 

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