Gross Movie Reviews #447

0

Gross Movie Reviews #447

 

Megalodon (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Navy ship defies orders from its admiral (Michael Madsen) in order to try and save a shipmate and her experimental sub that is swallowed up by a monster shark. The monster shark is loose because the Russians were supposedly at the bottom of the ocean trying to tap into the pipeline. The Navy could never find evidence of it but now they have if it if they can survive the attack of this prehistoric shark that is now trying to destroy the ship. The film was fun for about 15 minutes but I couldn’t take seriously Michael Madsen as he doesn’t fit into a military outfit let alone the U.S. Navy. But whatever as I give this limp noodle of a shark flick 1 star.

Santa Jaws (SyFy Channel/DVD) – So this may have been the underrated treat of “SyFy Channel Shark Week”. A teenager who is an aspiring comic book artist is grounded for Christmas and told he will miss the comic book party. He opens up an early Christmas present which just so happens to be a magic pen. With this magic pen the teenager Cody begins drawing his latest comic adaptation ‘Santa Jaws’. It is literally a great white shark with a Santa hat on its fin that begins to track down Cody’s family and eats them on Christmas Eve. Once Cody knows that Santa Jaws is real he must convince everyone else and figure out how to get rid of this jolly man-eater. There are a lot of corny holiday bad jokes, the subplot of the Cody trying to talk to the cute girl across the street, and the weird comic book dude that hits on all women. Before you start bitching why this movie shouldn’t exist, remember there was “Santa Paws”… So check your brain at the door and keep this on the back burner for the holiday season as I give this holiday film 3 stars.

 

Frenzy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Starts off like a found footage film but corrects itself into complete crap that makes root for the characters to die of a quick horrible death. But apparently the filmmaker watched “The Swallows” on a continuous loop for a month and an idea to appeal to younger horror fan… maybe? The Lewis sisters and friends have a YouTube show where they go adventures and such and record it for their online shows. This episode has them filming as they illegally get someone to take them into a protected sanctuary just so they can say they were there. Of course the plane has problems and they crash in the ocean only to become fish food for some hungry sharks. I literally hate watched this film about ten minutes in and wanted all the characters to die cause sad part is I could see real life dumb asses doing this to begin with. Anyway… get off my lawn as I give this piece of garbage 0 stars.

 

Nightmare Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Now, I am not saying this shark movie was great or anything but have to say kudos for a different shark film. A doctor finds a way to reach out to shark attack victims for an experimental group therapy weekend. He claims to be working on a drug to help cure the nightmares they all have about the same shark. A shark that Dr. Novak may have seen when he almost died in Hawaii a few years before and it asked him to serve the shark god. So yes Dr. Novak has bad intentions once all members of the group have arrived. But remember it is about nightmares so not all you will see is true or basically imagine if Freddy Krueger was an ugly shark trying to kill you in your dreams. Just weird enough it kept me interested and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A crazy off the wall post-apocalyptic flick where war has turned most of the world into a wasteland and an alien has decided to visit. The alien is there to gain information on how to stop their world from killing each other in war but soon understands there is no hope on Earth either. John Saxon plays a militant madman trying to win a war who only answers to Richard Lynch and has a bodyguard played by James Lew. Did I forget to mention Michael Berryman shows up in drag, Matthias Hues comes off as a wrestler in the future who lost his way from the movie set of “I Come in Peace”, Al Leong is hanging out with the bad guys watching Michael Berryman stab a dude in a bar fight, and there floppy disks may help save the world from John Saxon. Bad movie gold my friends and deserves to have a Blu-ray as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

6-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Married couples on an island for a couple retreat or boot camp to help them get back what they once had. This is disrupted by a six-headed shark that may have been the results of an experiment over 30 years ago on the other side of the island? Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this film may have had the whiniest and bitchiest characters of all time! I so wanted the six-headed shark to be thrown like a Chinese star through the island when the bad weather arrives in the film. Thus ending this feature quickly as these people needed to die. No one here was likable. I really hope films like “Frenzy” and this sequel do not become a trend in horror movie making because it just plain sucks out loud! I give it 0 stars.

 

8-Bit Bloodbath (DVD) – A twenty minute film about a gamer named Billy who is invited to a Halloween party but becomes a sacrifice instead. But Billy rises from the dead as an undead 8-bit super zombie who seeks revenge against mankind. Once undead he slaughters people with his various weapons he is able to produce out of his zombie Nintendo glove. The independent short film is raw but very entertaining and reminds me a little of the Polonia Brothers early stuff shot on VHS. Todd Wolfson has my attention with this film and his trailer for ‘Sponge’ which looked very funny and entertaining. I give this fun short film 3 out of 4 stars and cannot wait to see what is to come next from Mr. Wolfson and crew. For more info on this project check out:  https://www.facebook.com/8BitBloodBath/

 

Patient Zero (On Demand) – A UK flick that has the world being infected by a super rabies virus. It started with animals but mutated once it got into humans causing them to become raging violent maniacs. With the population being decimated quickly the military grasps at straws with their research and trying to find ‘Patient Zero’ for answers on how to cure people. But there is a slight hope as a man helps the research on a daily basis as he was bitten but never turned. With this he is able to communicate to the infected and hopefully using this power helps them all find the cure. Problem becomes the infected are evolving and want not a war but everyone to be infected. A very curious alternative horror film that is a reminder of how good “28 Days Later” was and how I am surprised not to see more films like this made over the years? I give this interesting flick 2 ½ stars. I may have given it a better rating but wasn’t really impressed with the non-ending.

 

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (SyFy Channel/DVD) – And just in case for those of you counting at home this is “Sharknado 6”. When we last seen Fin, he was in the future with his son (Dolph Lundgren) and he was going to help his father to get back to the past. Now, Fin ends up in prehistoric times and finds most of his family as they fight a Sharknado at key points in history. Along the way they are trying to find Fin’s son (no longer Dolph Lundgren because it was cheaper I guess?) so they can meet up. But after killing off a bunch Sharknados their flux capacitor goes awry and they end up in 20013 or something… Basically ‘Planet of the Aprils’! The movie goes completely absurd but does a much better job of going absurd than the past two sequels as this entry was much more entertaining of how they are trying to stop the Sharknados for good. It was a wonderful movie idea they ran into the ground but I am glad it exists for the mere reason it got people who usually wouldn’t pay attention to this kind of film to pay attention. So thank you Sharknado for the good and bad shark movie sequels as I give this entry 2 ½ stars. Also I give it three years before it gets remade???

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Advertisements

Gross Movie Reviews #445

0

Gross Movie Reviews #445

 

Blood Slaughter Massacre (DVD) – Some murders happen at a small party in Havenwood. The killer was never found and was nicknamed “The Ripper” but many in the community buried any news about the horrible event. Ten years go by with no clues or any murders and then “The Ripper” strikes again. The detective who was young and just started on the police force when the killings first took place is determined to find the killer no matter what. The film has an okay slasher concept and runs with it but the biggest problem is the camerawork sucks and the running time is two hours long. You find someone that knows what a tripod is or understand there are cameras with downloadable apps for steady-cams and understand 40 minutes of this flick could be edited without even thinking then we are talking a much better horror film. Saying that it is worth a watch if you are weird like me but take it with a grain of salt as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship, and Videotape (DVD) – This documentary that was released in 2014 gives you a crash course in what was the “Video Nasties” and what started it in the UK. About 70 horror movies being released in the early 80s sent certain groups of crazy people into frenzy to ban certain horror movies because of their level of violence. It took years for people to reverse this trend in the UK as horror movies were delayed in being released to video or just never seen at all. The documentary dives into people being up for fines or imprisonment for just owning an uncut version of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “The Evil Dead”. This led to a whole new ratings system that just upset everyone anyhow. A very interesting look into what most horror fans over the age of 30 only heard about. I give it 4 stars.

 

Video Nasties: Draconian Days (DVD) – This was part two of the 2014 documentary that dives deeper into the “Video Nasties” but how the censorship went way beyond that. Hell I thought the U.S. had it bad with the MPAA? Over in the UK it was to the point certain normal cartoons were being censored or pulled because one dude was like “Yep that is going to corrupt kids, cut it or pull it completely”. It was some crazy shit going down. It was no longer horror movies into the 90s as it expanded to all genres of film. The BBFC basically help start the black market for uncut horror films in the 90s… Interesting stuff folks as they even talk about the horror conventions in the 90s were there but you had to have the special invite to get the good stuff or uncut flicks. Once again I give it 4 stars.

 

Lady Terminator (DVD) – Oh just your typical crazy foreign flick about a woman anthropologist who goes out to sea to investigate the disappearance of an evil queen from centuries ago. She disappears only to be captured and have her tent hole to be entered by a CGI snake that possesses her with an evil queen from the past that fucks dudes to death. Yes kind folks that is pretty much the plot of this fucking gonzo flick. Once bored with dudes on the beach she heads to the mall, a dance club, and even gets in a car chase with a police officer which isn’t fully explained. But hey who cares as she is banging dudes to their deaths! One of those movies you will think I made up but have to watch just to make sure as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dangerous Seductress (DVD) – Six years later there is a sequel of sorts to “Lady Terminator”. The Evil Queen returns when a nutzoid car chase goes down and ends in a horrific crash that leaves gore everywhere. This blood jump starts The Evil Queen to partial life but when a stupid American girl named Suzie reads some ancient text for no apparent reason this bring The Evil Queen to her. Now, Suzie becomes possessed and given the powers of darkness which include banging hot dudes to death! Will this sexed up killing spree ever end? Maybe… but still not as entertaining as “Lady Terminator” so I got to give it 2 stars.

Urban Cannibal Massacre (DVD) – A 2013 independent flick from ‘Ghetto Hollywood Pictures’ that was just pooped out there in existence without anybody telling me about its greatness! The film takes place in Akron, Ohio where the Jones family is a well-respected family of a small community. The secret of the family is they feed on the homeless and only like the white meat. The Jones family does not believe in eating their own kind. The only problem this prospering family has is the youngest daughter is a vegan and thinks it’s absurd the family carries on the tradition of killing poor white people and feasting on them. No one in the community suspects anything weird with the Jones family especially with having friends that know about their business for a certain price. But this family is about to be outed when some college friends come to town looking for a missing friend and they find clues that lead them to the Jones family. These college kids get more than what they bargain for when they mess with the Jones family especially when the young daughter Kendal is in love with one of them. Hilarious storyline and an amazing amount of awesome gore make this wonderful movie a treat for gorehounds as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Scratch (DVD) – German killer rat movie sounds awesome at first but what starts off great falls apart in the second half of the film when they go away from the storyline… Which is killer rats fucking rule people. I was disappointed as I give this mutant rat flick 1 star.

 

Evil Bong 777 (DVD) – I thought I swore off watching this series but who am I kidding as this is a Full Moon feature. No matter how much I believe this series makes Charles Band look like he has no passion for filmmaking anymore and it just insults the original Full Moon fans, you know I had to watch it. Eebee and friends are back from ‘Sexy Hell’ (don’t ask that would require me caring to watch Evil Bong 666 sooner than later). Of course first thing back you gotta go to Vegas to see a puppet sex show.  Then after that the friends head to a cheap haunted hotel to relax. But that doesn’t last long when Evil Lucy cuts of the head of Satan in Sexy Hell so she can return and get her revenge. And by the way the story will continue in part eight whether you want it to or not. But the main reasons for watching this film is pretty much Sonny Carl Davis but also Robin Sydney who I consider a wonderful actress. Robin with her work has probably become 1C in actresses for me as I declared Tiffany Shepis and Debbie Rochon 1A and 1B several years ago. I give the film 1 star for the mere reason it wasn’t a 60 minute Full Moon ad!

 

Dr. Alien (DVD) – Here is a weirdo bottom of the barrel sex comedy from David DeCoteau in 1989 that stars Billy Jayne (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose fame) as a college freshman who has trouble with the woman. Well lucky Billy Jayne’s character (Wesley) his Biology teacher is killed searching for an U.F.O. and a hot young lady shows up to be the new biology teacher. Oh yeah she is from outer space and convinces Wesley to allow her to experiment on him with a new vitamin that makes a thing come out of his head and girls want to bang him. Wesley all about the extra credit believes it works but the girl he is after is just a girl that likes him for being him. In the end we come to find out that the hot biology teacher is from a planet that is dying and they have trouble breeding and needed to test her experiment on Earth! Hilarious crap I cannot make up as I give it 3 stars.

Mutant War (DVD) – Another diamond in the rough I found while searching all the movie channels as Brett Piper writes and directs this 1988 post-apocalyptic sequel. Harry Trent is wandering the wastelands five years after “Galaxy Destroyer” and stumbles upon a young woman who needs help from a mutant. He helps and she enlists Trent to break out her so-called sisters who are held captive in a compound by a shitload of these mutants. But it isn’t as easy as it looks because the mutants obey a crazy old human who has intentions of taking over the world! Fun low budget stuff from Mr. Piper that I feel like deserves some kind of box set edition for more fans like me to see more often as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Munsters Go Home! (DVD) – This is one of test movies to know if your favorite horror fan is legit. The show was fun but the movies are hilarious and this 1966 classic set it all up for future laughs. Herman Munster has just inherited a lordship and properties in England. So Herman and the family pack up at 1313 Mockingbird Lane and head to Munster Hall to see what it is all about. But there is some of the Munster family in England that doesn’t believe Herman deserves any of it so they spend their time trying to scare him. When that doesn’t work they come up with a plan to kill him in the yearly car race that is between several families that live around Munster Hall. If you don’t find this movie funny seriously there is something wrong with you and you might have to start questioning your life choices? I give it 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #436

0

Gross Movie Reviews #436

 

My Friend Dahmer (DVD) – A brilliant look into the younger years of the notorious serial killer we all know is Jeffrey Dahmer. This somewhat documentary portrayal of Dahmer gives the viewer of the film a peak at what Dahmer was like when younger and what may have started his murderous ways. Jeffrey a loner, awkward male teenager who was lost in high school of the 70s struggled like most to make it through bullying, acceptance, being good to the divorcing parents. The film dives into the awkwardness of these times and captures it quite perfectly. The biggest difference is Mr. Dahmer became one of the most notorious serial killers where the rest of us became … ‘blah’. There is several films that tackle the killing and how Dahmer tried to hide the bodies, this film tries to explain what possibly led to these events and why? Was it always fate for him to be a serial killer? Or were there other forces that helped him along? You be the judge when watching this great film. I give it 3 ½ stars.

Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death (VHS/DVD-R) – A Todd Sheets 1991 shot-on-video movie inspired by the greatness “Sorority Babes Slime Bowl-a-Rama” is a warning to not buy crystals in antique shop and not eat applesauce while watching this film. A potential sorority babe goes to the local antique shop and buys a crystal for $10 for the sorority PJ party that night. She thinks they can use it for a séance or something fun? But what she doesn’t know is the crystal ball is a gateway to evil and all her and sorority sisters know is their fate rests in two babbling old antique dealers. When the sisters use the crystal ball for a séance at their party one of the sisters becomes possessed by a demon and begins killing. Hilarious cheesy stuff for the S.O.V. fans as this is a thing of beauty to track for your collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Hell Asylum (DVD) – An early 2000s low budget flick that has flown under the radar and was released by Full Moon Pictures. The film is written by Trent Haaga, directed by Danny Draven, and stars Brinke Stevens and Joe Estevez. The film revolves around five young models looking for that shot at television or in this case reality TV. They all have agreed to be a part of a TV shows called, “Chill Challenge” where they have to spend a night in a haunted building for a million bucks. Of course the producer has other plans to assure no one makes it through the night. A demon is released into the building while touring the set and begins killing the contestants off one by one. An entertaining horror film that has some gore to my delight and not your typical half-ass paranormal flick. I must give the film 2 ½ stars.

Bong of the Living Dead (Blu-ray) – A group of friends who smoke tons of pot and debate zombie movies on the front porch daily is the main plot of this flick. Their lifelong dream of a zombie apocalypse happens in front of them and it doesn’t go exactly as planned. If anything it is lame for the group of friends. They spend days in the house not in danger and of course smoking lots of weed. But after a couple close calls of a zombie attack and the weed supply running low the group has decided it may be time to have an actual plan to do something before they are all zombies! Max Groah and crew did a wonderful job of crafting an excellent zombie/comedy with great dialogue, cool characters you care about, and some excellent effects. It’s hard to believe this was an Indy project as it is proof of when everything is done with love of the genre.  As hilarious as the film is it does take a serious tone close to the end of the film which caught me off guard. But from beginning to end this film does not disappoint Indy fans as this may be this year’s “Attack of the Killer Donuts” as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details about the film: www.bongofthelivingdead.com and www.facebook.com/botldmovie .

 

Night Feeder (DVD) – A shot-on-video flick from 1988 that has just been resurrected from ‘the dead format zone’ has people of San Francisco being murdered with the authorities at a loss of who is doing it. A reporter has just moved in the ‘killing ground’ recently and takes upon herself to start investigating. This could be her big break for her magazine that she writes for as she has found out all the victims have the same trait. Their brains were sucked out through their eye socket. Plus all the murders seem to have some kind of connection to this local favorite punk band. Great B-movie cheese that would have been a lot of fun to see on ‘USA Up-All-Night with Rhonda Shear”. I give it 2 stars.

 

Sideshow (DVD) – A fun horror film about a circus sideshow with an all-star cast. This early 2000 film centers on ‘Dr. Graves Sideshow and Horrors of Nature Show’. A group of kids decide to visit the Dr. Graves show on its last night only to stir up a little trouble with Dr. Graves and his associates. But Dr. Graves being the bigger man invites them to a special ‘Horrors of Nature Show’ where one by one they each become new attractions to the show. Even with calling the police there aren’t anything the kids can do to save themselves. Fun concept that only gets better when you learn the film was directed by Fred Olen Ray, effects by Gabe Bartalos, Brinke Stevens as a fortune teller, and Peter Spellos as a protector of Dr. Graves. The movie seems like a long lost film from the early days of SyFy Channel more than a Full Moon flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Flight 7500 (DVD) – A weird supernatural horror film that was done in 2014 but only recently released starring Amy Smart and Scout Taylor-Compton. A man dies on an overnight flight to Japan setting forth unnatural events for the other passengers or so it seems. As weird things begin to happen the passengers try to investigate why the man died under the strange circumstance. The movie is kinda boring and kinda predictable as I give it 1 star.

 

Dark Angel: The Ascent (DVD) – Angela Featherstone is Veronica, a demon in hell. Veronica and her dog Hellraiser escape hell to see what man is like? While amazed in the new world she is hit by a car where a doctor hurries her in to his hospital to take care of her. The young doctor named Max finds her a little strange but interesting and asks her to stay at his home. While the young doctor sleeps and works, Veronica learns about human life and how much sinners we all have become. So the demon takes it upon herself to kill sinners and feed their body parts to her dog. This was my first time watching this flick and so glad I did. This Full Moon flick came out during the first phase of Full Moon during the early 90s and not much said about it. This horror movie has it all: love story, great sets of what hell looks like, a cool body part eating dog, and demons that kill sinners. I will be sure to make this Full Moon flick makes it into my regular movie rotation as I give it 3 stars.

 

Cute Little Buggers (DVD) – An UK film with a great horror title about aliens who have traveled the galaxy looking for mates to reproduce. They stop at earth for us ugly things because they believe they can make it work with our ugly ass women? The aliens send out ‘Penetrators’ to investigate and possess bunnies for their cover. The bunnies will attack the women, capture them if possible, and then impregnate them. The movie starts out great and has the right idea but the joke gets grinded into the ground or into stupidity that even the topless women scenes get boring. I like the concept but very poor execution in this case of alien flicks as I give it 1 star.

 

Avengers: Infinity War (Theater) – So it is the comic book movie we all been waiting for as the team faces off with their biggest challenge yet, ‘Thanos’. Spoiler Alert: He kicks everybody’s ass people and the movie is good! Plus, Spidey does his best to try and steal the movie again. Saying that, bottom line Marvel does not disappoint with all the build up to Thanos and shows why DC still has trouble making films. Grab the popcorn and enjoy it for it is movie fans as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (On Demand) – Burt and Travis travel to Canada above the Arctic Circle for possible graboid sightings and attacks. They meet a research team with a person who has experience as her father is ‘Val’. But why would the underground monsters and the Ass-blasters be in the Artic? Well, with the recent climate change aka global warming the permafrost melting has allowed for the graboids to move around in the cold soil. And the monsters are hungry! But Burt has other plans for the man-eating bastards but with his current medical condition the torch has been passed to Travis to come up with a plan. And the plan includes capturing a live graboid in order to get to its gland to save Burt’s life. Once again “Tremors” doesn’t disappoint, is entertaining, and does not get old with every story told. Thank you Michael Gross keeping Burt Gummer alive as I give the giant worm film 3 stars.

 

Split (DVD) – An absolutely creepy and interesting flick about young Professor X who has 23 personalities because of abuse early in life. Two of his personalities have taken over and have snatched up three teenage girls so they can bare witness to the legendary 24th personality. I hate always seeing movies describe as “thrill-rides” when they mostly suck but this flick actually is a creepy thrill-ride! There is so much to this film to like and how it can appeal to all viewers. Amazing stuff as young Professor X does amazing job of going from one person in his head to the other while talking to his captives. This is the different horror movie to show your friends as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #432

0

Gross Movie Reviews #432

 

Mitchell (DVD) – This cheesy 70s flick stars Joe Don Baker as a detective who seems to be a sleezeball but actually it just adds to his charm as a man just trying to do the right thing. Mitchell happens to be riding along with police who get a call for a burglar in a rich neighborhood. The burglar picked the wrong dude, Walter Deaney/John Saxon to steal from as Deaney was looking for an excuse to kill. Cops think its justice, Mitchell believes its murder. Mitchell decides to investigate for himself but gets thrown off the case to cover an old mob dude who may be tied to a heroin shipment coming in? Soon Mitchell becomes a target as he keeps meddling in both cases and they are connected. The film is one big cheeseball 70s flick that would be more interesting if we didn’t have two “Dirty Harry” flicks and a “Death Wish” flick out by the time “Mitchell” was released. I give it 2 stars.

Thunder Cops (VHS) – If you cannot find this movie under that title supposedly the film was also called “Operation Pink Squad II” at one point? This hilarious 1987 action/comedy from Hong Kong is one of those: “How much B-movie crap can we throw against the wall and it actually stick”. And thank god for allowing this feature find me. An upset husband who believes his cop wife is cheating on him learns she is going to hook up with her superior. What he doesn’t know he keeps overhearing their plans to go undercover as hookers as part of a police sting at a haunted building. The haunted building has a crazy ass monk trying to keep evil spirits in their place. But a vengeful ghost escapes the chaos and now is causing problems with the sting going down in the building. Eventually the monk, the upset husband, the undercover cops all must defend themselves against a ghost head that flies! Let’s not forget the green turd, mini-copters chasing the ghost head, and possible castration to invite a powerful elf which kills ghosts? Like I said crap thrown against the wall but great crap as I laughed my ass off and give this movie 3 stars.

 

Ravenwolf Towers (DVD) – Jake is a new assistant manager at a run-down hotel that used to be cherished by Hollywood types years ago. Now, it is just a weird dwelling for older people mainly who don’t venture outside or talk to anyone but themselves. But Jake quickly learns there is many secrets to the hotel when he has to go the top floor to fix a leak and finds a helpless woman named Mary. He helps her out but her family comes looking for her and goes back to the top floor without a real explanation. This is a recent ongoing new series from Charles Band that gives life to a project that has that old school Full Moon Pictures charm as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Ravenwolf Towers 2 (DVD) – The series continues as you learn more about the residents of the hotel and Mary and family on the top floor are building up to something big. Meanwhile Jake begins to speak with a new resident Ivan Ivanov, a supernatural investigator, who is there because of the strange family Jake, has had run-ins with. Pay attention Full Moon fans as some of the characters that live in the Ravenwolf Hotel are characters from past Full Moon movies which gives this series an interesting twist as I give this episode 3 stars.

 

After School Massacre (DVD) – Jess who is the popular girl in school and likes to have sleepovers has just had the weekend that sucked. A so-called friend or new girl she felt bad for just committed suicide at her sleepover and her teacher Mr. Anderson just said a photo of hers was ‘cute’ and a ‘friend request’ on social media. So Jess and her classmates fuck with Mr. Anderson and doesn’t care about the suicide decide they need to have another all-girls sleepover to get over things. Of course Mr. Anderson gets fired over the friend request on social media by the school and snaps killing two faculty members. Unbeknownst to Jess Perkins and friends Mr. Anderson is killing his way to the sleepover but that is okay because Mr. Anderson is weird anyway, “because he puts mayonnaise on his chicken nuggets.” Low budget, I laughed a couple times, not a ton of blood, I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

After Party Massacre (DVD) – Most of the film consists of Death metal music footage from a couple bars which is the backdrop for this movie. Little story happens as most of it consists of chubby boobs and chubby girls banging during the metal music which isn’t a bad thing if it was full porn? But in this case it is supposed to be a horror movie about a woman named Scarlett who almost gets raped in a club, has flashbacks, and begins slashing her way through random club goers. Not even the great acting talents of Nic Pesante or the vile story of penis mutilation makes this horror film bearable. For that I give this movie a ½ star out of 4. Unless you were trying to make a porno instead of a poor excuse for what is called a horror movie then you are on to something? But the ½ star is only because the music was pretty cool.

 

The Creature Below (DVD) – A little known creature/Lovecraftian film from the UK about a woman named Olive who is on a deep-sea dive and has some trouble with a strange creature. The crew brings her up and all the equipment is busted including the suit which causes her to get kicked off the boat because she cannot remember what happened. Olive does grab a black egg from the suit and takes it home to study it? It hatches and spits black goo at her and now she is a part of this odd new species that is causing her to act differently to friends and boyfriend. As time goes on she believes she must protect this ‘god’ and feed it… humans. Hey Lovecraft fans if you haven’t found this one yet it is worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

4/20 Massacre (DVD/Vimeo) – A group of young women head to the woods to go camping and let their freak flag fly in celebration of 4-20 but also for a birthday weekend. While venturing into the woods the women are warned by a park ranger to not hang around and definitely not go looking for the weed farms that are nearby. Especially since the weed farmers have taken justice into their hands recently. A man out of his mind finds the women babbling about a thing chasing him but they don’t pay him any mind. They party, enjoy the woods, until a man/thing begins to slaughter them and smoke their weed believing they took its crop. A very entertaining slasher film that doesn’t over thinks the plot or force its way down your nerd gullet. It plays out like a good slasher film should. Is it perfect, no way, but it is well worth adding it to your horror film collection. Most horror films portray everyone that smokes weed as stupid and therefore the plot should be stupid this film does not do that. And I thank the filmmaker for that as I give this trippy horror film 3 out of 4 stars. For more details to check out on this new massacre: www.facebook.com/thehikeproductions .

 

The Theatre Bizarre (DVD) – An anthology filled with buckets of blood and gore that includes segments from Richard Stanley and Tom Savini. The stories of horror flow like a good beer down your throat until you hit the slow moving segment “The Accident” which is good but just doesn’t fit in this anthology. Thus, the entry causes the film to slow down and no longer flow right except the in-between parts with Udo Kier being his cool creepy-ass self! I give the anthology 2 ½ stars.

 

Annihilation (On Demand) – Natalie Portman gets pulled into something you cannot imagine when her missing husband shows up at her door from a secret mission he was on. After being pulled over by the military and husband almost dying she is meeting with a scientist played by Jennifer Jason Leigh who explains an event that happened three years ago. Well an unexplained event involving something falling from space into a lighthouse that they now call the ‘shimmer’. Something is a rainbow force field that is expanding. It first just covered the lighthouse but eventually took over the swamp, the state park, and a community. It’s feared it will continue to spread all over earth? The government has sent several people into the shimmer but none have returned except for Portman’s husband which there are no answers for? So Portman, Leigh, and three other scientists make their way into the shimmer to see if they can get to the lighthouse and get answers. Once inside they encounter some very strange shit that is mutating plant and animal alike. Visually the movie is beautiful and plotted out very well. Honestly if the “Lost” TV show had any sense and could have been this instead of the ‘dreaming we are all dead’ bullshit it was. Sorry spoiler alert if you ever wanted to watch that poor excuse for a show? But I get the feeling many are not going to understand a film like this and feel this film might be a couple years before it is actually understood? We will see but if you want to enjoy a bizarre sci-fi flick to fill that void inside your inner nerd this film will it and more as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

Oh it’s real and it’s happening… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

We bring in our buddy Parker Bowman for help on this episode!

0

This week Kyle and Tim called in a favor to one of the charter members of the Spookies fan club to come on and hang out.  PARKER BOWMAN of the JUNK FOOD DINNER & POOL PARTY RADIO joins us to talk about Full Moon Entertainment’s SEEDPEOPLE.  Kyle finds quite the hidden gem in the newly released I DON”T FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE on Netflix, And Tim talks about a rockabilly/kung fu/post-apocalyptic Indy flick in SIX STRING SAMAURI.  Also, we chat about east coast vs. west coast pizza wars,  And battle lines are drawn as Parker does the unthinkable and besmirches the good names of Donald Pleasance and podcast favorite Prince of Darkness.  So enjoy your day with a new show.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

I bring back the Full Moon on our latest episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

0

This week we return through a haze of grill smoke and overtime to discuss Charles Bands 2nd entry into his flagship series in PUPPET MASTER 2.  And the most obscure, rare, and hard to find movie we have ever covered on the show in KILLER DEAD a.k.a. NON VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES FROM OUTER SPACE.  A movie that we can only explain as maybe a Spookies 2… Maybe a proto Spookies… but we don’t care it have a ton of people from Spookies in it.  Also we get into a new segment on the show entitled “movies Kyle has never seen”,  Hamburger talk, Kyle sees Terminator Genesis and so regrets it,  Kickstarter shenanigans,  Kyle fixes the tax problem, viewer questions, and a ton more crap.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

episode 170

Gross Movie Reviews #341

0

Gross Movie Reviews #341

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Deadly Spawn (DVD/YouTube) – Oh one of the first low budget films that Bruce Lentz of Incredibly Strange Video introduce me too… Great stuff as some cool looking aliens land on earth and make their new home in the basement of a house where there is lots people to feast on. The film was made on a mere $25,000 budget and sports some wicked ass creature and gore effects that more than gives any horror fan a reason to watch at least once! A great creature feature that should get more love than it has as I give it 3 ½ stars.

the-mothertown-e1412631654618

The Mothertown (DVD/YouTube) – A first time effort from independent UK filmmaker John Williams who apparently is giving all the proceeds from the movie to local charities in the UK which is pretty cool… But anyway two security guys find a weird naked dude in the gym shower and from there the zombie apocalypse begins! The film focuses on several groups of people who are not only trying to survive the zombie apocalypse but entertain themselves. The film also sports possibly one of the funniest scenes in a zombie apocalypse film where two men who are taking part in an S+M thing are left tied up and forced to chat as their slave master has left them for work. The film keeps cutting back in on these two and it gets funnier every time it does. There is an enormous amount of zombie extras and a gory zombie wedding scene which gives the film that cool zombie apocalypse feel. But what hurts the film and stops the story in its tracks of being interesting is when these groups of people find themselves being held by two so-called military personal waiting for their ride to leave the town before its destroyed by a nuclear attack. Williams does a great job of building a fun zombie film but shows the growing pains of what it takes to try to pull it off. I really enjoyed seeing all the extras and enjoyed the film just wish the last quarter of the film would have been edited more. I give the overseas independent effort 2 out of 4 stars and more information about the film can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/themothertown .

 

Vengeance of the Dead (VHS) – Another Full Moon movie I can cross off the list as I pull a flick out of my basement to check out… With this 2001 effort a character named Eric comes home and is haunted by a ghost named Julia. Not a whole lot happens in this flick as the film really doesn’t go anywhere interesting. I have seen better and have seen worse but you wanna be bored this is your movie to watch. I give the flick 1 star.

 

Rabid (DVD) – Another David Croenberg classic from the mid-70s, that stars the beautiful and talented actress Marilyn Chambers. Rose and her boyfriend are riding their motorcycle out in the country land outside of Montreal only to get into a horrible accident. Rose and her boyfriend get help from a plastic surgery center nearby where Rose will need several skin grafts. Rose receives several experimental skin grafts that heal quickly but Rose awakens from her coma in a crazy state not understanding her hunger until her armpit begins sucking blood out of a man’s neck. Soon Rose helps super-rabies get out in the general population of Montreal and people are attacking anyone and everywhere with the government in dismay of how to stop the super rabies. If you are a fan of “Shivers” and not seen this flick yet? Get your ass to Amazon and buy or rent this shit as I give it 3 ½ stars. And thank you to David Croenberg for making such a bizarre but awesome horror flick.

 

Cut Throat (VHS) – Keep finding these forgotten Full Moon flicks that I always wanted to see but never found the time to see them. This flick is about a horror film “Death Blade” where the actors and actresses are being killed on set and keeps comparing itself to “Scream” constantly. I have seen better but was entertaining enough that I stayed awake for the ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Asylum of Terror (VHS) – A 1998 film that looks like a shot-on-video flick from 1988 that has a closed down prison/asylum become the new local haunted house where one its psycho inmates has decided to make a personal visit and slay those who enter. The horror film has some great gore throughout but suffers from pacing issues that makes the film awfully boring at times as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Flashback (VHS) – A German slasher film dubbed in English about a woman who leaves an asylum after ten years to be a French tutor for some rich kids. When the rich kids play a bad prank on her, she snaps and begins slaying everyone involved. Worth watching the flick for the mere reason for a body goes through a large chipper! I give the flick 2 stars.

 

The Graveyard (VHS) – A 1972 film about a young man David who hates cats and for good reason as his mother has tortured him for years. She blames him for her crippled hip and stopping her luxury life with the man she always loved. Once David’s wife and kid are dead he gets wants revenge on his mother. Animal lovers prepare yourself for a very uneasy opening to the film as I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

This week’s message from Charles Band

0

FullMoonStreaming.com

Dear Full Moon Family,

This week you’ll definitely want to stay after class at Full Moon’s Voodoo Academy. At the prestigious Carmichael Bible College, the faculty have some very unwholesome intentions for their students. Will the newest student fall victim to their evil plan or will he graduate with his soul intact?

Then turn on, tune in, and drop out with Alice in Acidland. This psychedelic gem from our Something Weird catalogue reveals the damaging effects LSD has on the morals of Alice Trenton, an all-American college student turned drug-crazed sex kitten who plunges headfirst down the wrong rabbit hole!

And you won’t want to miss Jess Franco’s The Blood of Fu Manchu. The legendary Christopher Lee stars as a madman who sends 10 beautiful assassins, armed with a deadly poison on their lips, to deliver a “kiss of death” to powerful public figures.

On Thursday stop by the FullMoonStreaming The Vault for Volume 3 of our behind the scenes footage from Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong. So hang out with the cast and crew (and Eebee, of course) as they create Full Moon Feature’s galactic stoner-horror comedy! PLUS we’re offering a FREE 1 Week trial to anyone! So spread the word and give the gift of FullMoonStreaming.com to all your friends and family. Post on Facebook and Twitter and wherever you can about this offer.

Have fun! CB

FMS-Grid-by-the-week51