Monthly Archives: July 2018

Gross Movie Reviews #444

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Gross Movie Reviews #444

 

He Knows You’re Alone (DVD) – Here is a little lost slasher from 1980 that has an early appearance from Tom Hanks and just recently got the DVD/Blu-ray treatment. A young lady’s parents go out of town for the week and she is in the process of getting married. She might be having second thoughts now her fiancée has taken the scouts camping and the ex is shooting hard for her. But unbeknownst to her there is a serial killer on the loose who is killing women who are about to be married. Never mind how he knows, he is a movie serial killer of course he knows. But he stalks her throughout the film and kills all around her. For me it was a first time watch and definitely good enough to revisit again someday as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Ninja Demon Massacre (VHS/DVD-R) – Now, you most likely believe I made this up? It is real folks I assure you that. In 1988, ninjas must be hurting for business as in Hong Kong they start selling foreign secrets. So of course some dubbed U.S. actors/authorities get involved and send in a secret agent or two to stop this from happening. There is no demon which was kind of disappointing and not much ninja action. But it did have ‘massacre’ in the title so of course I sat down to watch it… once… I give it maybe 1 star, maybe 2 stars for stealing the music from the Gene Simmons flick “Runaway”.

She Was So Pretty (DVD) – Alfred or Alfie as he is known in the film is out looking for the perfect woman/victim. He finds it in a woman named Valerie who tells friends she hasn’t felt like herself for about year now. It’s like someone is watching her which of course Alfie is. But in Alfie’s spare time he brutalizes other women. When Valerie heads to the woods with some friends for some vacation time Alfie takes this time to kidnap her and take Valerie home to watch some “Casper”. The weirdness only adds to the suspense and sleaze of the flick as Alfie doesn’t have a whole lot to say, he just does things. When the local park ranger/cop is called in and does his so-called investigation he finds Alfie and in a strange plot twist joins in on the brutal fun. I like the weirdness of this serial killer flick as it stands out from most but the only downfall to me at least was the film doesn’t exactly have an ending. Whether you like or not it is something you don’t see very often in independent film so you get kudos for that. But good news horror kids there is a sequel in the works as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.shewassopretty.com .

 

You’re So Cool, Brewster! The Story of Fright Night (DVD) – This is literally the most in-depth documentary you could watch on the making of this fun classic horror film. The documentary covers nearly 2 ½ hours of your time watching as it dips into everything and anything you could want to know about the famous 1985 vampire flick. The only issue I had with the documentary was the running time and it spending about 60 seconds on the sequel and nothing said about the rumored third film that was being pitched around Hollywood in 1990? But it got everything it could into this flick and most fans will be happy with it. So kick up your feet and enjoy inside story of “Fright Night” as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Massacre at Rocky Ridge (DVD) – A real dumpster fire of a no-budget film that has CITs (Counselors in Training) taken out in the woods for the yearly training. Mainly because they couldn’t afford a movie set with cabins so it is just tents. Once there some boring dialogue takes place, the gratuitous girl on girl scene, and people dying at the hands of a masked killer in a robe. This one is so bad or I just made up another “massacre” movie that it doesn’t have an IMDB page but can be bought for $29.95 on a website if you search hard enough. For that I give it a ½ star.

 

Meathook Massacre (DVD) – A woman and her two friends set out on a trip to a concert in Nebraska. But first she has to watch entire rock video just like “Killer Party” but nowhere near as good! Car runs out of gas on a lonely dirt road and one of them gets out going to look for help. She comes across a small weird farmhouse where a masked killer lives and likes to chase his victims with a meathook. For a sixty minute movie there was way too much talking and not enough killing as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Meathook Massacre 2 (DVD) – Ten years have gone by since that faithful day of those horrific events. But the meathook murders have popped up again in the news and a man whose twin sister was a victim of Bubba is hell-bent on finding this sadistic killer. Not many meathooks in this flick but with a few more dollars in the budget compared to the first flick the filmmaker decided to do a no-budget jam of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and 3. There was a little more killing going on this flick so I give it 1 ½ out 4 stars.

 

The Quiet Earth (DVD) – A 1985 sci-fi flick from New Zealand where a world one morning basically stopped and there was possibly only one survivor. The first thing you see besides the sun rising is a dude named Zac and his hairy dong getting out of bed. As he drives into work he notices something weird, everyone is gone. For whatever reason all the people are all gone. Once Zac is done losing his mind for several days he gets his shit together and goes on the road to find someone, anyone. Along the way he finds a woman and another man. Over dinner they discuss what actually happen and they figure out “The Effect” kept them on earth for some reason. But after more discussion they figure out they all died at the exact moment when “The Effect” happened. “The Effect” as we learn could have been produced by an experiment from Zac’s company that was helped by the government. Soon Zac figures out the sun is soon to collapse and then there is no earth so they come up with a plan to blow up Zac’s company to shutdown “The Effect”. The ending is real weird as you are not totally sure what happened or what didn’t but glad I watched this post-apocalyptic flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Blood Massacre (DVD) – A Don Dohler flick that was actually made in 1987 but never released until 1991 under some shady dealings that did make Don Dohler happy at all. Great stuff to read up on before watching the flick. Four thugs go rob a video store only to shoot a clerk there while getting away with the money. On the run their car breaks down and forces them to find other transportation. A woman named Elizabeth Parker picks them up and now hostage takes them to her family farm where the four thugs are going to rob them blind and eat before moving on. Soon the armed thugs are surprised that his family isn’t your typical family as they like flesh and slaughtering humans. A little icing on the cake is near the end of the film one of the thugs Rizzo gets away and prepares the woods like Rambo to fuck the family up only to find out they are not just cannibals… Love it, fun stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

Burlesque Massacre (DVD) – A wanna be porn film that is a poor excuse for a horror film. The flick centers on a killer brother and sister combo that believe “incest is best”. The sister brings her burlesque troop to her brother’s house for a vacation weekend but instead they get killed after showing lots of tits and ass. There is more sex than killing and probably should have just sold out and became full blown porn just for entertainment sake. But whatever again it had “massacre” in the title and I give it 0 stars because I had to watch it.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #443

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Gross Movie Reviews #443

 

The Tripods (VHS) – This made-for-TV flick was a BBC production made in the year 1984 and some would say even has some kind the film has some kind of cult status? But anyway this 2 ½ hour film is set in July 2089 outside of London where mankind has been long invaded by alien machines. People have accepted this and live in peace and actually worship the machines and have somewhat gone back to the old days of living before technology. But there are a few people or vagrants that have refused the “capped” process and live scattered among the mountains to evade capture by the alien machines. Since the machines have arrived, war has been non-existent, and the people willingly give their children at the age of 16 to the machines to be “capped”. The machines take them in and basically tattoo their skulls or doing god only knows to their brains. So two teenagers meet this vagrant and decide they don’t want to be “capped” or questioning authority and runaway to the mountains to escape believing there is more to life than these alien machines. The project is very British so for me a little bit was lost in translation but is an interesting project and worth the watch if you love sci-fi flicks as I give it 2 stars. Random fact the TV movie premiered here in the U.S. in the mid-80s on PBS.

Nightfall (VHS) – A 1999 independent vampire flick that had distribution through Troma that was set in Seattle, Washington. A F.B.I. agent named Jack Talbot is investigating a string of murders that have the victims bloodless and marks on their necks and believing there is a serial killer in the city. But Talbot’s partner is killed during the investigation and he begins to believe this vampire theory to the point he chases the vampire to a different city. Talbot teams up with a couple of local detectives who are already on the case of similar victims to try to kill this vampire. I can understand why Troma picked up this flick: nice amount of blood, the acting isn’t terrible, and the story is pretty solid. I give it 2 stars.

Jack Be Nimble (VHS) – This is a story of two kids, Jack and Dora who live in New Zealand and were given up for adoption but separated for the adoption. Jack went to a weird, backwoods; abusive family and Dora went to a nice couple and grew up without issues until high school. Now teenagers they both are having issues and try to explore this possible psychic link in finding each other? Dora gets picked on because of this obsession so she kicks some major ass at school and begins her search for Jack. Where Jack gets down right crazy and dark and hypnotizes his family to kill his parents to escape into the countryside looking for Dora. A really weird and violent flick from the country down under but it makes for an enjoyable watch. Plus you get to see Alexis Arquette in an early role as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Legend (On Demand) – Tyler and his soon to be wife head out to the remote woods to spend time together and so Tyler can propose to his girl. But it is interrupted by a very large hairy creature that drags her away and leaves him a mess as she disappeared. Twelve months go by and we see Tyler leaving an asylum where he was placed as many thought he was crazy and try to get him to understand it was most likely a grizzly bear attack. Once out and some advice from his mother he heads to the woods armed to the teeth wanting answers. While there he is attacked by this large thing again but it goes away and Tyler meets a new friend who tells him a story or two and talks about a private company owns the woods. This private company knows about the thing in the woods and he has also been looking for it but only has heard sounds and stories until today. Eventually Tyler has a bloody battle with thing/bigfoot/creature and survives. The film ends with having a conversation with Lance Henriksen setting up an “Avengers vs. Bigfoot” sequel or at least I hope that is what it’s for?  Also look for cameos by Amanda Wyss playing Tyler’s therapist and Adrienne Barbeau playing Tyler’s mother as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Domestics (On Demand) – The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government may have hit the reset button by dropping black poison on all its citizens one random day. Those who were immune or survived are faced with fighting for their lives day in and out if you are anywhere near the major highways or roads. These are the areas where different gangs of “Sheets, Gamblers, cannibals, etc.” settle at looking for fresh humans for whatever means they need. We are introduced to a lovely couple who were in the process of a divorce right before all this shit went down and just trying to survive like everyone else. The wife has lost contact with her family and wants to travel to Milwaukee to see them. So the husband packs up the AMC Eagle and get on the road out in the Midwest to drive to their destination and satisfy the wife. I really enjoyed this possible reality or outcome of America because I could easily see this happening and that is some cool shit! For that I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Beyond the 7th Door (DVD) – A Canadian film from 1987 that centers on a man named Boris who just got out of jail and is meeting his ex for a drink. After some bickering about who should have done what before he went to jail suddenly come up with an idea that involves Wendy’s boss and his house. Wendy’s boss is Lord Breston who pays well but supposedly keeps a bunch of cash on hand. So the two come up with a plan of Wendy sneaking Boris in once her shift starts and getting out Boris out when she is done. Once in both are trapped inside by a heavy steel door and they must go forward. A recording of Lord Breston comes over a speaker explaining in order to get out they must move forward for the money or die trying. So it becomes a series of rooms that Boris and Wendy must solve until they get to the end where a million dollars sits. The film is overall really weird and how Wendy and Boris ever got together is a story I would like explained. But the kicker of the film is the ending once they have made it through. Like or hate it you will have to admit this is one of the more interesting films that you will have in your collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Medusa Against The Son of Hercules (DVD) – One of the many Italian ‘Hercules’ films that came out in the late 50s and early 60s where this one has no Hercules but it has monsters! A warrior named Perseus fights a sea dragon and Medusa to try and stop a war. But Perseus is double crossed and war breaks out anyway. So by killing Medusa he is able to have warriors return from stone and help. A fun introduction for kids who want to watch some fantasy genre films or just a nice appetizer for the early 80’s cult flick “Clash of the Titans”. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Raven (YouTube) – Todd Ernest Braley shows off his filmmaking and casting talents with this short film adaption of the Edgar Allan Poe story. The black and white short film has narration throughout telling the story as two wonderful actresses act it out. Poe fans will love this short film so be sure to hit up Todd at: https://www.facebook.com/colofilmmaker as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

The Bucks County Massacre (DVD) – This is an independent found footage flick released through Brain Damage Films. The event in question takes place in 2008 with the film/documentary being released in 2010. Basically a group of friends head to a remote cabin for a 25th birthday party. Of course someone is filming everything going on there. While the footage unfolds there are interviews with family members of the deceased from the videos. All of them of course trying to get past the hard times but also still trying to understand how this could happen?  Especially with police trying to stop the leak of the footage out there on the internet but anyway once the party is starting to die down a girl goes missing. Her boyfriend goes looking, people get angered, poor judgment because of the drinking, and presto they are all being attacked by some human-like creature. From there it is all blood and chaos. The film is not bad at all just for me takes entirely way too much time building up the party and every character in the party even before the girl goes missing so I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Tagus Ranch Massacre (DVD) – A group of friends heading out to a deserted restaurant on a bus breakdown but after some repairs finally get to their destination. Mostly tired and miserable the group of friends wants to just sleep after getting there but a friend falls down and may have had a seizure? Nope, just a demon spirit possessing his ass! Of course the group slowly disappears or becomes possessed by these demon spirits that haunt the former restaurant. The demons don’t just possess them they also want to kill in very gruesome ways. Think of “Night of the Demons” on a much smaller budget and I can respect that. Not a big fan of the ending but sure it felt right when the project was finished leaving it open as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

IndeCHUDence Day commentary for yinz to enjoy!

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Come celebrate indeCHUDence Day with Kyle and CHUD hunter #1 Tim as they record a full length commentary track to the cult classic flick you all remember from your childhood CHUD!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Hey we got that damn thing to download our shows… so enjoy!

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This week Tim and Kyle get back together to review a dad flick that Kyle probably should have seen as Kyle starts Eastwood Summer in THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT.  Then Tim talks about a made for television flick starring the legendary Tom Atkins in TARANTULAS: DEADLY CARGO. All this and we chit-chat about the most deadly badminton tournament in the history of Pittsburgh.  The lack of a badminton based slasher movie, CHUD uprisings, Kyle sees Deadpool 2 and dives into the series Black Mirror, and we answer your questions, and chat about what we’ve been watching.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 This week Kyle and Tim welcome back the legend that is T-Shirt Joe to talk about the Tanya Harding based b-movie action flick BREAKAWAY.  Kyle continues his Eastwood summer and watched THE GAUNTLET.  And Tim talks about one of the best movies in recent memory in SICARIO.  Also, we talk about Tim’s trip to the Slayer/Anthrax/Testament/Lamb of God/Behemoth metal extravaganza.  Joe’s concert stories and we answer all your listener questions and ramble on about movies, life… and what not.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Trailer debut for indie horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY

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(Let me just say this dude I will be tracking down to ask about Grossfest 2019)

 

Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W_D_pkoOmQ&feature=youtu.be

Quick Info:

Dustin Mills Productions, the production house that brought you THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE and EASTER CASKET, is proud to present the trailer debut for their upcoming horror extravaganza SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY. This is DMP’s most ambitious project yet, with a cast of both new and familiar faces and incredible makeup and effects by Marcus Koch (MOHAWK, WE ARE STILL HERE, the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series) and Dustin Mills himself. DMP is running a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter from July 8th through August 7th, and backers get immediate access to the full uncensored proof-of-concept trailer.

 

Synopsis:

A group of gorgeous gal pals are horrified when one of their friends dies in a tragic naked pillow fight accident during their annual Slumber Party. Fearing legal repercussions, the ladies dump her body in a swamp and forge a runaway letter. Years later, the girls reunite to boob it up one more time with a saucy Slumber Party for the ages, only to have their party pooped by the vengeful spirit of their dear departed friend. Trapped by magic, surrounded by evil, and very underdressed, will they survive the night? Or will this Slumber Party become a Slaughterhouse?

 

Cast (alphabetical, with IMDB links):

Brittany Blanton (DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS, KILL DOLLY KILL)

Joni Durian (HAUNTED HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW, HER NAME WAS TORMENT 2)

Kayla Elizabeth (BLOOD RITUAL, DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS 2)

Ariel Jarchow (JUST YOUR AVERAGE HALLOWEEN PARTY)

Roni Jonah (HI-8, VOLUMES OF BLOOD)

  1. Ania Lupa(HORNDOGS BEACH PARTY)

Haley Jay Madison (HUNTERS, HEADLESS, IN MEMORY OF)

Eve Moreau (Feature debut)

Kenzie Phillips (DESCENDING, NIGHTFALL)

Erin R. Ryan (BABYSITTER MASSACRE, APPLECART, DEVIL’S TRAIL)

Melissa Sue Zahs 

 

Crew (with IMDB links): Writer/Director: Dustin Wayde Mills

Assistant Director – Virginia Leigh 

Special FX – Marcus Koch

Makeup – Brittany Bailey

 

Trailer link (censored version & pitch video):

https://youtu.be/7W_D_pkoOmQ

 

Kickstarter link:

www.slaughterhouseslumber.party

 

Social media:

instagram.com/dustin.w.mills

twitter.com/puppetmassacre

 

Expanded Info:

Dustin Mills Productions, the production house that brought you THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE and EASTER CASKET, is proud to present the trailer debut for their upcoming horror extravaganza SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY. This is DMP’s most ambitious project yet, with a cast of both new and familiar faces and incredible makeup and effects by Marcus Koch (MOHAWK, WE ARE STILL HERE, the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series) and Dustin Mills himself. DMP is running a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter from July 8th through August 7th, and backers get immediate access to the full uncensored proof-of-concept trailer.

 

The trailer was shot by Mills and the cast over the course of a weekend with everyone volunteering their time, a testament both to everyone’s excitement about the potential of the project and the insane pace at which Mills works. SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY merges influences from classic cult horror movies like SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE and HARD TO DIE to colorful supernatural comedies like GHOSTBUSTERS and BEETLEJUICE with a faux-documentary approach à la WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS. The resulting concept trailer alone would be off the charts on Joe Bob Briggs’s “high points,” packed as it is with nude women and copious gore. The film’s comic asides set SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY apart from an independent horror landscape overflowing with self-serious, mean-spirited slashers and samey zombie movies.

 

For the proposed feature, Mills is joining forces once again with effects wizard Marcus Koch. Koch has an impressive track record providing effects work in dozens of films ranging from projects like MOHAWK and WE ARE STILL HERE to extreme underground horror in the AMERICAN GUINEA PIG series and Mills’s HER NAME WAS TORMENT films. The film’s cast consists largely of faces familiar to indie horror fans including Brittany Blanton (DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS, KILL DOLLY KILL), Joni Durian (HAUNTED HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW, HER NAME WAS TORMENT 2), Kayla Elizabeth (BLOOD RITUAL, DON’T FUCK IN THE WOODS 2), Roni Jonah (HI-8, VOLUMES OF BLOOD), Haley Jay Madison (HEADLESS, HUNTERS, IN MEMORY OF), and Erin R. Ryan (BABYSITTER MASSACRE, APPLECART, DEVIL’S TRAIL).

 

Since releasing his debut feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE in 2010, Dustin Wayde Mills has directed over a dozen feature films ranging from the Troma-esque insanity of EASTER CASKET to bleak extreme horror in the HER NAME WAS TORMENT films and even some more family-friendly genre fare with HALLOWEEN SPOOKIES. He has also worked on visual effects and makeup for films such as SUPER TASK FORCE ONE, HARVEST LAKE, SPACE BABES FROM OUTER SPACE, and HOVER in addition to his own films. SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY is by far Mills’s most ambitious single feature project to date, melding a wide array of his influences and interests into one wildly over-the-top comedic thrill ride. 

Trailer debut for indie horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY

Gross Movie Reviews #442

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Gross Movie Reviews #442

 

Rampage (On Demand) – Dwayne ‘The Rock” Johnson stars in the video game adaption film that most people have forgotten that it was a video game from the late 80s. A government experiment goes wrong in space and causes a scientist to try to escape with canisters from their experiment but the escape pod blows up on reentry sending the canisters around Earth. When they open it causes mutations in an ape, a gator, and a wolf that terrorize everybody just to get to Chicago because they are being drawn there by a beacon that is now in their DNA. The Rock is an ape specialist that has been teaching George sign language and other things. So once the ape mutates The Rock struggles to explain to people George is a good ape, it’s the experimental stuff that is causing him to grow and go crazy. The CGI isn’t the best but people we got three giant monsters terrorizing a city and eating people so count me in every time as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cargo (On Demand) – So I was told I needed to see this Netflix zombie flick? So I sat down and watched this Australian zombie flick that centers around at first a married couple with a small child that is on a boat floating down a river to avoid zombie attacks. Unsure what their next move is as they are running out of food. They find boat wreckage and the wife gets bit when she goes back to the boat to investigate. So they make their way to land as she has only has 48 hours before changing. They are trying to get to find help for their child which during this the father also gets bitten and it becomes a journey across the outback to find a family to take care of the child. Like the zombie film “The Dead” that came out a few years back it is a different idea but goes through some quite boring periods. If you are a zombie aficionado you will still want to see this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

War for The Planet of the Apes (DVD) – 15 years after the flu began killing humans and the apes escaped to the woods it all led to this where Caesar is seen as a ghost. He has been on the move trying to help other apes and find a safe home where they no longer have to deal with the humans. Military has been looking for him for the past two years with no luck as the film picks up after the events of the last film. But as we come to find out this military army has gone rogue as the leader lost his son to looking for Caesar and the flu has mutated. It causes humans to lose speech. I enjoyed the story of this sequel as it seems to be a prequel to the original series of movies without being that. It was able to tell its own story, updated story but keep original movie fans like myself in the loop with this new telling of the story. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Deadpool 2 (Theater) – So one of the funniest damn comic book movies got a sequel and it was still funny as hell. This time around Deadpool is depressed because his girl gets killed by some low life who tracked him down and he wasn’t able to save her. But a kid with the power of fire needs to be saving so Deadpool gets a team together to track down the kid and save the day. Problem is a bad ass from the future Cable is time traveling superhero who has come the future to kill the kid because he killed Cable’s family in the future. With that Deadpool and Cable spend most of the movie fighting each other too much to the point the kid makes friends with the Juggernaut to help him seek revenge against the man that called him, “an abomination”. This one does try to tame the jokes down just a little bit but the film is still a lot fun and glad to see this character grow now with a team. This franchise has an interesting future especially if Disney is now involved as I give the film 4 stars.

 

Tomb Raider (On Demand) – This reboot, remake, whatever yinz kids are calling this these days had my curiosity for the mere reason I liked the other two older flicks based on the popular video game. This film takes Lara Croft from a little bit of a different point of view where Lara isn’t the female Indiana Jones we all know. She is a woman who skipped college and struggles with the disappearance of her father the past several years. Forced to sign papers to take over everything she is given a key. This key happens to be a secret room where her father’s tomb is and she comes to find out her father has been living a double life. He got lost on an expedition looking for an evil Asian queen that could bring ruin to the world as we know it. So she investigates as she has always felt he is still alive? Finds herself in Hong Kong getting a boat and searching for an impossible island. In the end after finding her father and fighting an evil group of people called Trinity she has found her calling and is going to use her father’s riches to fight it. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

The Leech Woman (DVD) – A film from 1960 where a scientist is visited by an old woman who claims she is 140 years old. She has been able to live this long because of a magic powder her tribe in Africa has. But she is going back home to die but felt to tell this scientist and allow him to do tests to prove she is telling the truth. The scientist sees it as a chance to cash in and make his wife young again because he doesn’t like her anymore. So this scientist, his friend, and the wife travel to investigate this tribe and its beliefs. But it isn’t just powder from a plant; you have to kill someone and get brain fluid from a gland at the back of the neck and drink it. This is what keeps the tribes people so young if they desire? The wife loses her mind and becomes obsessed with how it works that she steals and brings it back to the states but she has to kill on a regular basis because the effects do not last long. Fun movie if you would be watching it in a drive-in otherwise a bit boring but still fun for nostalgia as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Dark Tower (DVD) – So I never read the books but still don’t quite understand how this could be crammed into 93 minutes. This time traveling film about the ‘man in black’ and ‘the gunslinger’ fighting over a boy with amazing psychic powers that could be used to destroy the tower and allow the demons in. The film comes off like a T.V. pilot for a new show on SyFy Channel and not sure if that is good or bad? But even without reading the books there just seems to be certain plot points that should have been fleshed out more? But hey whatever they usually screw up most Stephen King adaptions so it wasn’t a horrible time killing 90 minutes as I give it 2 stars.

 

Plague (DVD) – A lower budgeted zombie flick from Australia where the zombies have started eating people and a group of people have chosen to stay inside this shed. A fight breaks out and one of them dies and they split up. Then a stranger show up claiming to be friendly, has food, has a gun, and wants to just live happily until this all blows over. But when the husband has asthma attack the stranger takes advantage of the woman to help him out. The film should have just skipped to the end where everyone is just trying to fuck the other over to stay away from the zombies but instead tries to put together this boring ass flick. They don’t even feature much zombie action until the last few minutes of the film as I give it 0 stars.

 

Escape Plan 2: Hades (DVD) – Sly Stallone is back as Breslin as him and his associates are still trying to break out of the impossible prisons until a hostage is killed in the process. They let go the guy they believe is at fault and time goes by. Now they are being captured one by one and thrown into another impossible prison that houses criminals of all kinds that might be worth a lot to someone on the outside for the information they carry so the system has become for profit. A fun follow-up without Arnold, but some newcomers to the Breslin team that comes off like a combo of “The Expendables” and “Fortress 2”. To me that sounds awesome so keep making sequels as I give this 3 stars.

 

Corbin Nash (On Demand) – Malcolm McDowell is a blind man telling a story about a hard-nosed cop who had no family but is about to learn the truth about them. An old friend invites Rutger Hauer in for a couple minutes to explain to Corbin that his parents were monster hunters. Corbin not really believing in this sets his mind back on all the disappearances that keep happening and may have finally had a lead. The lead is two psychos who just happen to be vampires who capture Corbin so he could be used in some underground fighting ring to be either food or entertainment for these other vamps. Corbin gets turned into a vampire himself but uses it for good to find these two monsters and rip them a part. A fun horror flick that is like a comic book that has been done several times through the years. It’s enjoyable but doesn’t make me want to run out there and tell the world you should buy several copies as it seem to be missing something and it wasn’t just more Rutger Hauer. I give this comic bookish horror movie 2 ½ stars.

Primal Rage: The Legend of Oh-Mah (DVD) – No relation to the mad monkey film of 1989 as it’s about the Native American Bigfoot legend that lives in the deep woods. A couple driving down the road after a run in with drunken hunters at the gas station hit something in the road. They go check it out to see it’s a mutilated body so they call the cops but are attacked by something throwing rocks. Forced down the hill into the river the couple is now wet, far from their car, and not sure exactly where they are at or what happened. In the morning they begin their trek through the woods where they find the drunken hunters in hopes of using their radio or cell phone? But the creature that has been stalking them begins attacking them and brutalizing their bodies as this legendary creature wants the female. It’s up to the county sheriff to believe in his heritage to go help find this couple and kill this monstrous creature that is just protecting the woods? A good amount of gore and another take on the Bigfoot legend makes this a cool little horror flick for Bigfoot fans to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars. Before I forget Bigfoot/Oh-Mah is able to use an axe, knives, a JAVENLIN! They explain it sort of…

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!