Category Archives: Full Moon

Gross Movie Reviews #598

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Jaws of Satan (Blu-ray) – So I was checking out this out of print 2-pack Blu-ray that has “Jaws of Satan/Empire of the Ants” with no real extras and pretty much is the latest but out of print physical media of this flick that is available? Anyway, after a train stops suddenly in a small town several snake attacks happen that just happen to be led by a King Cobra who might be Satan himself! This cobra is tracking a priest who might not believe as much as some of his brothers until this snake along with others come looking for him so there can be an ultimate fight between good and evil. This killer snake movie is still some cheesy fun that I give 3 stars too but look out for the overpriced Blu-ray as it isn’t worth what the eBay people want?

Mercenaries (DVD) – A Hong Kong Shaw Brothers flick that isn’t as available as some Shaw Brothers flicks on YouTube has a bad ass dude Mr. Lou Li approached by a gorgeous rich woman who needs him to travel to Cambodia to kidnap an assassin? Lou Li is given permission to put together a small team and each can make a substantial amount of money if they are able to retrieve an audio tape that is being used for blackmail. Imagine a cool Hong Kong version of “The Expendables” who accomplish their mission but things go from a little bad to a whole lot worse when they all get screwed over! A super fun and crazy action flick well worth seeking out if you haven’t had the chance to witness bad ass flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Skid Kid (DVD-R/YouTube) – A WTF lost low budget film from 1991 that has a familiar face or two about a masked superhero who happens to be a high school kid (Scooter Spielberg) with special boots and skids along the road on his ass. These boots are so special that the FBI is looking into getting the boots off of the kid for the government. But meanwhile the kid is just trying to clean up his community of crime. And by the way folks his boots run on soda and not that cheap shit either… I dare you to not laugh and enjoy this cornball movie that if nothing else is entertaining and give 2 ½ stars too.

Queen of Blood (DVD) – A mid 60s film that is set in 1990 and stars Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, and John Saxon where earthlings receive a distress call from an alien ship on Mars. So being 1990 in all they jump into a ship to go see if they can help their new friends? Friends this alien is not as a beautiful green alien is found and brought aboard the ship for the astronauts to bring back to good health and have her meet the good scientists that started this mess. Once awake on the ship the beauty wastes no time to lure men in with her beauty and suck them dry of their blood. Sounds like a crude version of “Lifeforce” kids but no matter how old this feature is its still worth checking out this B-movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (YouTube) – This somewhat hard to find 1980 film is sometimes known as “Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell” where a man named Kelly tells a horrible story of a frog monster one summer when he was 11 years old. A researcher comes by Kelly and his father to investigate the lake they live on where a fossil unlike anything before was found. But there has always been a story of something living near or in the lake that is half man/half monster and was looked upon as a god. The film takes a while to get going but has a wonderful pay off when the cheesy monster goes on a rampage as I give the film 2 stars.

Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

Crocodylus (DVD) – A no budget film about a small town having a killer croc problem even though several times throughout the film characters saying, “killer gator”… It was making no sense but anyway after a few bodies have been mutilated the cops finally take interest in these possible animal attacks. Doesn’t take much longer for others to take notice and explain how it is a professor’s experiment that has gotten out in the wild. The movie was mostly dull and couldn’t believe there wasn’t one person on set to even remotely try to add energy to this poor excuse for a killer animal movie as I give it 0 stars.

Remnants (Plex) – An Indy filmmaker Mark Byrne tries to take a stab at the recently bloated genre of paranormal and tries to bring something to it? A rich dude bank rolls a group of paranormal experts to research and help clear “remnants” of souls good or bad haunting people or structures. While just trying to help a lost soul of a killer clown happens to find an opening into the real world and restart his rampage of murder. Now the paranormal flick might not be my cup of tea but I gotta give kudos to Mr. Byrne trying to spice up the independent paranormal genre with a different take as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Invaders from Mars (DVD) – This 1953 drive-in classic have a kid witnessing a flying saucer landing in his backyard during a stormy night. David’s father George goes out to investigate to only fall into a hole and disappear mysteriously. David frightened until his father comes home and begins to act different and has a strange cut on his neck that reignites David’s fear. David fears it is no longer his father, but an alien clone or possession of sorts as townsfolk are slowly taken over. Luckily for David a nurse at the local police station believes something isn’t right and they head over to an army base where David is finally taken seriously about aliens invading. It is up to the Army to stop these invaders from sabotaging shit around town but the kicker of the whole thing is: Did David dream it all up or did something else happen? Still a wonderful flick to show movie people who are looking to dip their toe into the sci-fi/horror genre as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #597

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2 Cool 2 Geek the Film (YouTube) – A no budget film that documents two guys (Old School and 50-K) who have a web series and these guys have gotten big enough Spike TV is gonna pick the show up. Spike TV arrives to start filming and follow these two around until their buddy of the show Youngblood is kidnapped and of course hijinks ensues. There are cops, way too many comic book conventions, talk of sex slaves, way too much Sonic the Hedgehog worship, a bat on a string, and a Swedish exchange kid that cannot wait to do cosplay. This project is from Craig Blake and Adam Stern, so if you have enjoyed such films as Doug Waugh’s “Trash Juice”, “The Wet Ones” from “Wig Wolf”, or Addison Binek’s “Magnum Opus: The Movie” this chaos will be up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Valentine Bluffs: My Bloody Valentine Fan Film (YouTube) – ‘Fan Film’… let’s start there because that to me is always gonna be a tough sell especially a sequel to horror fans’ favorite over the years and there was only one movie, never a sequel. I am not opposed, I might be old thinking on this, but I always felt when you do see that term your expectations are already lowered right or wrong as a viewer. Anyhow it has been 40 years since the original killings of Harry Warden/Axel and the town of Valentine Bluffs has spent a lot of time healing and not talking about the legend. But two things are happening that will possibly rip the town apart again as it has barely kept alive this long. First, is TJ and Sarah’s son is heading to the small town looking for his father and second is the mayor (Lloyd Kaufman) who has come up with a gimmick for the closed mine “Harry’s Bloody Attraction” that most are not too keen on the idea. As you watch the film, filmmaker Tom Smith (pretty much his first feature) tries to connect certain things to the original to keep fans interested. Once TJ’s kid comes rolling into town the small town murders begin to happen again and without giving too much away Tom Smith tries to give answers to what may have happen after the first film. Now I know there are some fans of this film already but this is how I seen it right or wrong it’s just an opinion. But here we go folks: I felt the pacing was off and the buildup to the end was slow. The production looked great, you had a location, but in my mind what you did in the last five to ten minutes of the movie should have been expanded or made more of the plot point of the film. Because I think you can’t get away from the ending of the first film without explaining what happen to Axel so it sucks fans in. Second, I understand the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman as the mayor but anymore he only brings humor and not a sense of seriousness to the role that I believe was key for this project to work. Clearly you had a mine location I just felt you should have used it more as the last five/ten minutes felt great compared to what came before it. Again why it will always be tough to do a project/sequel to such an iconic film “My Bloody Valentine” of horror fan lore, so let the hate mail role in but anyway if anything filmmaker Tom Smith has my attention as I am curious where he goes with his second or third feature length film as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.

Good Old Days (Dropbox) – A short film where we have a beautiful summer-like day for three young ladies to take a bike ride to the field of a drive-in. Enjoying a great time and wanting a picture of it they get something they weren’t looking for and that is a sadistic couple with video cameras! But the best scare yet to happen. The five minute short is too the point, professional, and the ending will make yinz savor the entertainment you just witnessed as I got to give Zane Hershberger’s and Bridget Murphy’s project 4 out of 4 stars.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 – (Full Moon) – We are introduce to the sorority that has been trying to get from under the past of the strange murders at the bowling alley with a new set of sorority sisters wanting or needing more pledges or the house charter will be taken away. Kelli Maroney the sorority mother tries to put a stop to any thinking of the young ladies doing something stupid but they do it anyway as the sorority sisters and pledges head to the bowling alley to once again steal the bowling trophy. Remember it is about tradition so they are trying to restore it by unleashing the evil imp again! It’s cheesy, stupid fun, and has a few fun cameos. Is it the original B-movie madness some of us nuts loved 30-some years ago, probably not but they were smart to not reinvent the concept and go with what works as new Full Moon fans should enjoy this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doppelganger (YouTube) – A Matt Diulus short film that deals with a man that falls into his dream world meeting another version of himself. What sets this idea a part from some others that might sound familiar is the music as it sets the tone for what happens as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Victim No More – A Friday the 13th Tribute Film (YouTube) – Written and directed by a person some Indy fans may know from Ramsteer Films from several years ago, Bob Heckman. In this project Mr. Heckman tackles of course the Jason Voorhees legend. A young man Robbie who is talking to his therapist wanting to prove to his mother that Jason is long dead along with the Camp Crystal Lake serial killer legend. All Robbie wants is to put this behind him and be able to live a normal family life as his mother was a survivor of these Camp Crystal Lake bloodbaths many years ago. Meanwhile a young couple is exploring the woods in search of the legendary stomping grounds of Jason believing he has been long gone since 1984 (if you are listening to their conversation). But to the surprise of all three the ghost of Jason is very much alive and still stalks these woods. I gotta give Mr. Heckman credit for the cast, a solid story, and of course the location and keeping this fan film at 40 minutes. Really felt it didn’t allow the film to get dull. To be honest I am surprised there haven’t been more real attempts of this universe by fans? Now is there something for me to pick at, yes, but they are small things: What happens at the end (without spoiling it) thought there could have been a little more subplot there to sprinkle in but that would have made the film much longer. Also Jason… love the look (Part 6 undead/part seven rotting Jason) but felt like a much bigger person or more opposing person (CJ Graham perhaps) should have been in the suit. Overall Mr. Heckman had a budget to check off everything a “Friday the 13th” would want from a fan film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Curious to see if an idea like this would cross over into a bigger Hollywood budgeted version of “Friday the 13th” or will we always stay in limbo with projects like this?

Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available is I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

Results (YouTube) – A short film project from Austin Muratori that has a young man dealing with some depressing and shitty medical news. Without talking to family first this man makes a heartbreaking decision. There is a small twist in this depressing, effective, good short film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Half a Mind (YouTube) – A cautionary tale of futuristic brain surgery and what good or bad can come of it. The short film looks wonderful and a great setup or trailer for a feature length film that all was missing was Rutger Hauer in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the background of the dinner scene as I give this Buzz Meade short 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #591

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Psycho Santa 2: The Forgotten Gift (DVD) – In 2006 this was an underground Santa sequel that just got a release (supposedly the sequel was never released four years after the original) but hey who in the hell knew there was a sequel? Anyway in this incoherent mess an undead psycho Santa returns to help his son Donivan carry on the holiday murdering tradition. SOV fans there were a reason this stayed unreleased for several years and incoherent is being nice so enjoy if you were a fan of the first film as I give this pile of Santa poo 0 stars.

Puppet Master: Doktor Death (Tubi) – So Charles Band’s next step into the “Puppet Master” universe was to follow up the ‘Blade’ flick with an entry from the “Retro Puppet Master” series? Hmm… Not exactly where I would have gone but anyhow we are introduced to April who has her first day on the job at ‘Shady Oaks Senior Living’ where her first task is to help clean out an old dude’s place after dying. She stumbles upon an old chest that they of course open and find the Doktor Death doll! Doesn’t take long for this puppet to get its legs going and begin its killing spree in the senior living (or dead) home. But Full Moon alum Dave Parker throws in a twist where April being there knew exactly what she was doing from the beginning in hopes of opening up the Full Moon universe for more “Retro Puppet Master” one-offs? This entry was nowhere near the disaster the ‘Blade’ flick was as I actually give this 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Scarecrow 2 (DVD) – Again for those of yinz kids counting with me this is entry #42 and also a sequel to a very shitty UK film. Apparently the sisters didn’t get enough of the haunted land the first time around and decided making the haunted trailer park/camp an attraction was a smart idea? First half of the film has lots of filler talk of how the land “is haunted or evil”. Second half of the film is a poor excuse for a bad scarecrow slasher. But if you need amused? Pay attention to the characters talking about the timeline of the murders of the first film as it makes Charles Band’s Puppet Master timeline look like a first grade math problem as I give this horrible travesty 0 stars.

Amityville Karen (DVD/Tubi) – Hey yinz, here is entry #43 as I really hate to talk down to an independent film or the people behind it but honestly this over 100 minute piece of shit based on a joke and stereotyping a certain dumb human should have been no more than a 15 minute short film and not released three years after being relevant? But here we are… apparently Karen is a health code inspector who wants to bring down a winery that isn’t showing her the right respect. While the manager goes off to do something Karen takes it upon herself to steal a bottle of Amityville Wine. Once home Karen drinks the wine, finds herself haunted by a demon, then the next morning signing her soul over to a complete stranger whose photo appears on the Amityville wine. What doesn’t make a ton of sense is there is an actual cast of actors that you may know and this film is full of more filler than an actual storyline. Even when Karen begins her evil murder spree it barely will make you blink with the bland special effects. Oh by some chance you need to know how this ties in with “Amityville?” Apparently the wine comes from a vineyard that was planted in the evil town on evil soil!!! I know there is a few Indy people on the west coast that were involved with this project but sometimes you got to say, “NO” as I give this complete unfunny disaster 0 stars.

The Resonator: Miskatonic U (DVD/Tubi) – This reboot, reimaging, whatever you want to call this creation from William Butler and Charles Band caught me a bit off guard as I gave it sometime before I watched it? I heard certain things and one of being they were continuing “From Beyond” and “Re-Animator”? So let’s be serious for a moment any real horror fan would question anything Charles Band has given us recently but as usual I gave it a chance because I am a fan and… (Ready) I was pleasantly surprised with what they did. Think of it as a combo as this was the first entry that has a young college character named Crawford who is continuing his father’s work which includes rebuilding the ‘resonator’. Crawford does a demonstration for his friends as they were worried but see the potential in his work and what this could mean for mankind? After being witnesses to the breakthrough of the resonator working Crawford is haunted by his deceased father telling him to destroy the machine before its too late. A professor (Michael Pare) who is very acquainted with Crawford and his father’s work soon interjects himself into the equation. Professor Wallace wants world domination as Crawford just wants to speak with his father but the calculations are off or are they? The film ends with a young Herbert West being introduced to the group in front of Miskatonic U played by Josh Cole. I really was on the fence about this but I will admit I liked it and have to give it 3 stars.

Beyond the Resonator (DVD/Tubi) – In the sequel all the characters that were involved with witnessing the resonator are now being affected by the after effects of being in a parallel reality that is now the new one. Crawford tries to get a meeting with the group to explain, “Not to do anything before he can come up with a plan” Flatliners-style. Meanwhile we get to watch a young Herbert West get used to his surroundings and try to nail down the reagent formula he is trying to perfect to bring life back to the dead. Weird, fun, still missing Jeffery Combs but gotta give Josh Cole for doing a great job as I give this 3 stars.

Curse of the Re-Animator (DVD/Tubi) – To complete the trilogy Crawford believes he was doing the right thing trying to connect with his dead father but knows he must put things back with the resonator. Meanwhile West’s experiments escalate and he finds himself in the middle of an experiment to bring the resonator back to life and set things right? These recent projects that combined “From Beyond and Re-Animator” storylines were done with the respect they deserved but also made it fun to revisit. I personally would have loved to see the original Herbert West involved someway? But I guess this will have to do as I never put it pass Charles Band to come up with something as I give this film also 3 stars.

Baby Oopsie 2: Murder Dolls (DVD/Tubi) – Another William Butler project under the Full Moon label where he took a character from a past series and placed it in a series of movies. Sybil and Baby Oopsie have returned after Sybil’s boss is no more. While dabbling in some other things with her satanic neighbor the authorities are taking notice of Sybil. They have questions about her former employer? Meanwhile Sybil is also approached by a superfan to make two new dolls? Sybil’s superfan happens to be employed by an overseas corporation called Twinkle Enterprises who want global domination of the doll market. After developing the dolls and Sybil’s neighbor getting involved for the first time Sybil questions what she is doing and may want a part of toy hell! Weird as hell but if you are the Full Moon fan well worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Baby Oopsie 3: Burn Baby Burn! (DVD/Tubi) – With the new dolls and the satanic neighbor it is the day of reckoning as everything seems to be closing in on Sybil. The satanic neighbor is bringing forth “The Toy Master” as Sybil tries to do the right thing and get a priest involved. This sequel is fucking wacky as we got dumb detectives, cyborgs, end of mankind, green goo, an exorcism, and a way to tie in the original “Demonic Toys” into the evil storyline and give it potential for another sequel as I give it 2 ½ stars.  

Amityville Hex (DVD/YouTube) – Entry #44 in the series was much delayed and comes off that it was filmed at the beginning of the pandemic when everyone was locked down like the “5G Zombies” flick. Anyhow if you are still with me after that this entry focuses in on vloggers/influencers/podcasters that are doing the latest internet challenge “Amityville Hex”. Supposedly at first nothing happens but apparently reciting this on the internet with your followers brings forth Satan or some kind of demonic force that haunts your ass until you die. (Nope never heard of that idea before?) It also claims when these certain popular people do this it will go viral. The first 30 minutes is a bunch of so-called vloggers or whatever doing the challenge then the last 75 minutes is the after effects to those who did the challenge. Yes kids, over 105 minutes of boring shit that could have been done in 10 minutes on YouTube (again just my opinion) but yet again is possibly the main reason you hear so many horror fans push back against crowd funding movie projects? The one question I have between this movie and “Amityville Karen” and “Amityville Thanksgiving” is … Mr. Shawn Phillips where is all the money your so-called fans put into these because I fail to see it in the production value? Sorry that is me just being old and critical or maybe not? Yinz decide as I give this crap 0 stars also.

Prince of the Crimson Void (DVD/YouTube) – The latest out of underground independent filmmaker Dakota Ray who once again dives head first into some super dark shit. Dakota has a talent to tell bleak and dark stories and this is no different as Fabian is a sadistic murderer who believes in snuffing out another serial killer Kimball. Fabian’s belief is he will gain his power and the souls of those Kimball as taken over the years as both of them share a burial ground where they lay the remains. Fabian in his quest is quite taken back when he finds out Kimball has cancer which could upset Fabian’s grand plan for the fellow serial killer? But Fabian goes through the killing anyway only to dig up the corpse a year later to plan with his skull. Even though Fabian feels god-like I do wonder if Fabian is just questioning his obsession with the individual when he digs up the corpse. Sick, dark, twisted, whatever  you would like to call underground filmmaker Dakota Ray I will say this: His material might not be my cup of tea but would not be surprised if he finds a much bigger audience with this project and a fan base that will want more… as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #574

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Gross Movie Reviews #574

Doctor Death Seeker of Souls (DVD) – This hilariously fun horror flick from the early 70s centers around a man name Fred who is trying to get over his wife’s death and feeling somewhat guilty? Last thing she said to Fred is, “she will return to him”. Fred hanging on to this spends several months tracking down séances, etc., trying to contact his wife, but no luck. Fred is introduced to Doctor Death who has a mysterious past and works like a magician but not so fast he has some dark powers of transference or transferring a soul to another body for a certain fee of course. Doctor Death is paid $50000 by Fred but nothing happens… Disgusted by the act Fred calls it quits and starts bumping uglies with his hot assistant. But Doctor Death cannot let it go and begins a murder spree of women trying to make this one transference right? I believe this glorious 70s cheese still works and worth checking it out like I did if you never heard of it as I give it 3 stars.

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Scarlet Agency (DVD) – Witch Doctor Films is back with another entry into the “Anton Rook” series. Anton Rook is no longer a trusted man by the agency but things change when an evil man may have found a way to produce an invisible man that would lead to making an invisible army for world domination. This invisible man seeks out Rook’s help to try and stop this madman and with Rook’s new protégé they craft a plan but as usual not all as it seems in Rook’s universe as no one can ever be trusted. As usual this independent film is well-crafted and goes from just feeling another fan-made episode of ‘Doctor Who’ to reaching deeper into the character of Rook and making it more of a well-crafted Indy James Bond flick! Well done my friends at Witch Doctor Films as yinz continue to go against the grain and produce some different and exciting independent projects to sometimes a stale genre of filmmaking as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Thirst (DVD) – A lesser known murder/mystery from the Philippines where several murders have taken place where women have been strung up and drained of blood. Miguel the lead investigator has a world renowned detective friend in New York and has asked him into his country to help solve these vicious murders. The detective a super white dude acts as a tourist to not attract attention while helping Miguel but both uncover something more sinister than they ever thought as the bloodless bodies continue to pile up! Maybe not the best serial killer film but definitely a good one from 1971 that has a little twist to what exactly is going on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Without Warning (Blu-ray) – This is 1980 alien invasion flick that has a lot of cool people infront of the camera and behind the camera at the same time. An alien has landed on Earth in a mountain countryside of course where it is able to do its thing without question. A couple of cub scouts and hunters hanging out in the woods find this out the hard way as the alien throws starfish blood suckers at them like ninja stars! After some friends get separated and a couple become dinner for the killer starfish and alien their friends want revenge and go to the local tavern to meet up with a crazy war vet and a mean loner. The second half of the film is mostly the characters of Sarge and Taylor fighting over who is going to kill the alien instead of actually doing the deed. The Blu-ray has a few interesting extras that make this package exciting for horror film collectors to have their collection but I have always viewed this film as “one of those should have been better with all who were attached?” as I give the film 2 stars but the Blu-ray package itself 3 ½ stars.

Slugs (Blu-ray) – Plain and simple this is a horror film about killer slugs! A small rural town where people are getting eaten up killer slugs that may have mutated in the sewers when they were disturbed by a new strip mall project. The project is being built on top of an old chemical dumping area during the 60s and 70s and they have broken the seal causing the slugs to feast on human flesh! The heroes are two utility workers who must figure a way out to kill these things before they infest the whole town. The Blu-ray is well worth investment if a fan of the film as not only the film looks great restored as I believe for decades we all had that VHS/DVD release? But also this package has a couple commentaries and a few short interviews that leads into why and where this movie got made which I never knew the film was Spanish, cool shit people. I give this new Blu-ray package of ‘Slugs’ 3 ½ stars.

Homebodies (VHS) – This is a creepy and disturbing mid-70s film that may stick with you as a group of older folk are being driven out of their homes in the name of progress. Their buildings have been condemned and slowly they are being escorted out of their apartments where their have lived most of their adult lives. With construction happening all around them the leader of their group Mattie has a plan as she likes to watch the work go on or I should say her plan go into action? The group slowly sabtoges the new construction in order to have their evictions delayed but the rich boss doesn’t care how many of his crew die its progess! But these old folk will kill whoever gets in their way. It is terribly sad, hilarious, and screwed up all at the same time with an ending I really enjoyed. Been looking for a lesser sadistic horror film to brighten your day look no further than this film as I give the 1974 feature 3 stars.

Miami Connection (DVD) – Ninjas, a biker gang, with cocaine fighting a pop band in Miami who also just happen know martial arts… Yep, I will watch that shit! This 1987 film is like one big 86 minute fight scene that includes cheesy music that feels like it was stolen from an early Nintendo game as I give it 2 ½ stars for just entertaining the hell out of me.

A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Robo Warriors (DVD/YouTube) – Kids, ‘Robot Jox 3’ or ‘2’ has been found… Wait a second there was another one? Yep, I didn’t know either until I was watching something that was sent to me by a great movie friend. The film is based on Stuart Gordon characters, has Richad Band’s music, giant robots fighting in the future for mankind, distributed by Paramount… Sounds like a sequel to me!? Anyway, by 2036 some aliens invade Earth and are complete dicks as they enslave mankind. A group of resistance fighters led by James Remar make their way into a jungle to recover an Earthbot. This is their only chance to survive and protect the planet. The mission fails but Remar’s character Gibson escapes and disappears. Some time passes but a kid has done his research and believes he can get the Earthbot going again if he can find it? With the help of Gibson they retrieve it and give humans hope again but they must use it to fight in one huge Robot battle with control of the world in the balance. Full Moon and Empire fans will go ape shit over watching this and if they never had the pleasure of stumbling over this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Mini-Grossfest is one week away!

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One week away… Early weather forecast (High 63, in the morning 48 with sun and a slight chance of showers in afternoon).  Dress accordingly my friends!

We wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping us to have our first outdoor event. Second, we wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. Third and most important “The EVENT IS FREE” to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh and surrounding areas that are coming to check out all the great vendors, filmmakers, authors, artists, etc., that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, yinz lovers, your partner, your neighbors’ n’at, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station Restaurant at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us so go have a drink or better yet have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors, filmmakers, etc… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like “conventions used to be!”

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

(Note: For anyone that buys a “beer or adult beverage” please hang on the patio with us until finished)

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

Proud moment to give these guys an award!

So hope to see yinz at the Willow Stations n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit n’at!

See yinz in two weeks on May 1st… Mini-Grossfest

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See yinz in two weeks on May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or Willow Station

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

So hope to see yinz n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit! (Also wanted to thank a few people recently helping to get the word out: Nathan William, Mr. DK, Kay Crawford, Bootleg Jen Gross, Maddie Deering and of course the staff at Willow Station.

Mini-Grossfest Update and our list of vendors…

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First, I wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping to have our first outdoor event and we have sold out. Second, wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. (There will be a list of vendors posted soon.) Sorry we had to turn a few away but like we said from the beginning it was limited space, first come, first served. Third and most important because I have already fielded a couple questions from a couple people concerning about this? The EVENT IS FREE to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh area coming to check out all the great vendors that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, your lovers, your partner, your neighbors, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us to go have a drink or have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like conventions used to be!

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

 Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art   

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

So hope to see yinz n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit!

Gross Movie Reviews #562

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Gross Movie Reviews #562

Vertigo (DVD) – This Hitchcock film from 1958 is debated among many movie fans on how high it actually ranks among Hitchcock’s classics as it has a couple twists to it? Jimmy Stewart is a retired detective after he had an incident while chasing a criminal on rooftops. John has trouble with overcoming this fear so believes he should stay retired until a rich friend of his wants John to follow his wife for a bit of an unusual reason. John’s rich friend comes up with a whole possession of a past relative is the reason but that doesn’t stop John falling in love with her and trying to help her. The twist comes when she commits suicide and John cannot take the shock but a year later finds himself seeing her again… alive. More to the plot than I am leading on and there are a lot of things that can be pulled from this movie to debate on if you look closer? To me at least it is an interesting film but maybe not the best from Hitchcock as I give this debated classic 2 ½ stars.

Lethal Games (VHS) – A little known b-movie action flick from 1991 that stars Frank Stallone in a tale of vengeance. A new construction company pops into town to corrupt the cops and hire two goons to run people off their property. But after a couple of women have been wronged by the goons they team up with Sly’s brother to fight back and regain their community. Not a whole lot to be excited about except for a dude getting blown to bits by a rocket launcher in the last 5 minutes as I give it 1 star.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – This 1979 film was based on the book that was written about the experience of the Lutz family had in the infamous haunted house where they only lived there for a few weeks before moving. The new family supposedly moved into a house that was the sight of a mass murder and experience lots of paranormal activity that gained worldwide attention. As a kid this movie scared the holy crappola out of everyone but as the years have passed it’s been proven a hoax. As the years go on and rewatch after rewatch the shine on this horror film as dulled. Once a classic, now I believe doesn’t hold a candle to stuff like: The Exorcist and The Omen of the same era as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD/remake) – I will be the first to admit I was surprised this film was getting an update in 2005 along with starring Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz. This film goes with more of the possession of George along with the usual paranormal bullcrap but you do get to see a very mean side of Mr. Reynolds as George Lutz that is kind of unsuspected but cool. In the end some horror fans love this version but I find it forgettable more than anything as I gave it another chance and it still didn’t do anything for me as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Baby Oopsie (Tubi) – So Charles Band has decided to dip into the less popular ‘Demonic Toys’ pool and let William Butler hopefully work his magic once again with an ultra-low budget even for Full Moon. But Butler comes out swinging as we are introduced to Sybil, a shy chubby woman who is a doll collector and has an internet show about dolls. When Sybil isn’t being picked on constantly by co-workers or mom she receives unexpectingly a package that contains “Baby Oopsie’s” head. After she fixes it up and has it on her show Baby Oopsie decides it is time to seek revenge on those who have wronged Sybil. It seems like the right thing to happen until Sybil struggles with trying to control her new doll and what damage it can actually do! Super surprised how entertaining this new Full Moon film was but with saying that this project didn’t need to be split into two parts but that s for another conversation as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Asylum (DVD) – So by some chance you are a complete crazy person like me and keeping track: this is entry #11! Okay folks two minutes in they are trying to connect to the original slayings in 1974. How you ask? Well apparently Lisa is a young woman who badly needs a job and just got hired by an asylum as a janitor. Things are good until Lisa begins seeing dead people throughout the night while working but oh yeah some shithead built an asylum on top of 112 Ocean Ave. If that wasn’t enough story for you 11 entries in, Lisa is a patient and she is a part of the Dark Master’s plan? So begin your WTF is this series doing as this cheap entry was shot in the U.K. but sloppily tries to make you think it’s Amityville, New York as I give this a ½ star.

Bingo Hell (DVD) – Welcome to Oak Springs where the seniors of the community love their little dying community as they try to rage against the hipsters and the inevitable rebuilding. These seniors do their best to help each other out throughout the community until a mysterious black car shows up and they find out Mario just sold the bingo hall. Lupita the leader of the seniors warn them all of what bad things will come with new membership of the bingo hall but that doesn’t stop the new owner Mr. Big$ to suck residents into the devil’s den bright den. As Mr. Big keeps stealing souls of the community, Lupita refuses to break and has to figure out how to bring down this mysterious demonic presence before he feeds on all their souls. Richard Brake checks in with a wonderful performance as usual and we get a nice amount of gore but this horror film suffers from something I cannot put a finger on that stopped me from completely enjoying the horror film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Playhouse (DVD) – Just in case yinz kids are still counting pay attention because entry #13 is also known as ‘The Amityville Theater’ or ‘Amityville Legacy’ depending what country you are in and if you are streaming it? Anyhow part 13 is Canadian after having a short stint in the U.S. under the direction of Mark Polonia. This time around we get a film that involves a young lady named Fawn who inherits a movie theater in Amityville after her parents die. So of course the Fawn and the rest of the Scooby gang get locked into the theater for the dullest entry of the series yet. Oh hey bright idea… let’s bring an Ouija board and have the main plotline about six people being killed on November 13th every year? Again welcome to the WTF world of Amityville but gotta give them credit: 36 years, 13 entries in and they are still trying to connect all this to the original murders and haunted home. Sounds fun but it is not because I am now invested and must this through as I have to give this dud 0 stars.   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #554

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The Lost Continent (DVD) – This feature was a Hammer presentation from 1968 directed by Michael Carreras, and it was based on the novel by Michael Wheatley. For me this was one of those deep dives of searching out something I seen part of as a kid on the old Chiller Theater and never revisited. It was time to enjoy Captain Lansen and his hidden agenda as he has a skeleton crew on a freighter is also carrying a few passengers. See Captain Lansen has taken an unsavory job that includes shipping illegal cargo to South America and a few passengers who would like to stay under the radar are on the vessel also. This illegal cargo is explosives that cannot get wet so when a hurricane warning is issued even the passengers get involved to keep the cargo from getting wet even during a mutiny by Lansen’s crew. But never mind that as we get a very cool scene of a crew member getting hung by a pulley and pulled upward to the root, fun stuff kids. Once the Captain and passengers finally abandon ship this is where the movie gets real interesting as not only are they lost at sea but run amok of killer seaweed that thirsts for human blood. If that isn’t enough Lansen and what’s left of the of the crew after finding a supposedly safe place must fight an old school Spanish army, being raided by them also, scorpion creatures, giant crabs, and more killer seaweed! The film is a bit cheesy but there is so much to digest here with the fun creatures, this Spanish army, and even the buildup of why Lansen was carrying explosives. If you go searching this was supposedly a huge budgeted film that had its share of issues but it is still a worthy fun watch of something you may have never given a second chance too as I give this 3 stars.   

The Indestructible Man (DVD) – A fun 1956 thriller that stars Lon Chaney Jr. that feels kind of like a horror movie or even a drive-in flick but plays out more like a film noir. Our boy Chaney Jr. plays a convict nicknamed “The Butcher” is about to get the last rites for his crimes when it is learned he has stashed a crapload of stolen money. But “The Butcher” is taking it to the grave until his body becomes a part of an experiment and he is revived. Now he seeks revenge and is almost completely indestructible as he can be shot, beaten, etc., and still keep ongoing like the Energizer bunny. The experiment was to cure cancer instead it brings back ‘The Indestructible Man’! A very different film you won’t expect much from but find yourself quite enjoying the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cemetery High (DVD) – This horror spoof that may or may not be best known being connected to Full Moon for the mere reason Charles Band was uncredited as an executive producer and the director just disowning the film shortly after its release. This spoof uses a gimmick at the beginning (don’t want to give it away) to set up violence and nudity throughout the film but the film centers on a group of young women who have had enough. The story begins the senior year of high school for these women when some sex crazed jocks only want to use the women for their term papers, beat them up, or the jocks are just feeling a little rapey. So the young women seek out these boys and put an end to their pathetic lives. But it doesn’t end there as they another to their group and become known as the “Scumbusters” when the local news picks up the story of them baffling local authorities with their murder spree. The young women will use whatever it takes to get their point across and kill another male: by car, by knives, guns, axes, whatever weapon that is going to get the job done. I feel the film starts off fun but just runs out of steam halfway through and becomes a chore to get to the finish as I give it 2 stars.

Black Friday (On Demand) – First off, I laughed out when this film was announced because the title is the most overused term in our lexicon and second, and felt “Black Friday” hasn’t been relevant for several years now cause ‘online shopping’ anyone? Anyhow, setting aside my beliefs of this so-called holiday, shopping day, whatever we find ourselves watching a film about abused retail workers at ‘We Love (heart) Toys’ toy store. It is Thanksgiving night and the staff must get things set up for the madness of the “Black Friday” shoppers and horror icon Bruce Campbell plays the manager of the store. But to the dismay of shoppers and staff meteors carrying alien thing are fallen to Earth and these monstrous things from the rocks are turning humans into monsters that will stop at nothing to find other unaffected humans to add to their end creation. Lots of flying goo, monsters, and a great cast made me forget that “Black Friday” isn’t really a thing anymore and just enjoy a wonderful horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Entombed (Vimeo) – A modest budgeted post-apocalyptic flick from Norway focuses in on three individuals who are trying to survive in an underground bunker. A man named Seamus just trying to survive the night of zombies finds the entrance to the underground shelter by accident and sees it as a miracle. Then Seamus meets Konrad at gunpoint that isn’t too keen on visitors and wants to know how Seamus found him and the shelter. After Seamus gains Konrad’s trust, Konrad introduces his comatose wife and Konrad does not want to leave unless he has too? But of course not everything is what it seems as Seamus doesn’t exactly trust Konrad in this underground shelter. A creepy thriller that proves all you need is location, location, and a great script that doesn’t concentrate on the zombie aspect to give you a film that shows humanity is at its worst when the chips are down as I give this tension filled flick 3 out of 4 stars and soon to be on streaming services so start looking for it kids.    

Duck! The Carbine High Massacre (DVD) – I put this flick off for years just for the mere fact it is inspired by the Columbine High School event of the late 90s. But it was time to watch it because it does have ‘massacre’ in the title. Pretty much this S.O.V. film follows two teenagers who were picked on, misunderstood for their beliefs, etc. by their peers at high school. So the two students plan their destruction of the stereotypes that have bothered them for years at school. Plain and simple it’s a low budget school shooting movie that may had message, may not? But bottom line this film is very boring and shouldn’t have lasted past the 30 minute mark. You get the point very quickly and you already know what is gonna happen in the film unless you have been living under a rock the past 25 years. Take or leave it, it happens so much over the past decade in real life and the news broadcasts being what they are the film can be pretty forgettable but I finally watched it and can only give it 1 star.

Cyst (DVD) – It is 1961 and Dr. Guy is a pimple popper dude who has an invented a machine called the “Get Gone” machine that will be the revolution of removing cysts, safely and less painful. Problem is it malfunctioned last time the patent people came through and this time it better work or they will just have Dr. Guy shut down. Meanwhile, Dr. Guy’s nurse Patty’s last day as she refuses to work with this so-called machine. So after some tinkering by Dr. Guy and a willing patient (sort of) he has a huge cyst to remove from the patient. When Dr. Guy does he unknowingly causes a mutant cyst to take a life of its own and now the people in the office are trapped with this killer mutant cyst! Think of ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ but with a cyst as I give this glorious B-movieish creature feature 3 ½ stars.

Jessicka Rabid (DVD) – Another film that I have finally tracked down that was on list is an independent film starring the likes of Trent Haaga, Elske McCain, directed by Matthew Reel and got picked up several years ago by Troma. Brad and Marley are two highly demented men who have mistreated for years a mentally challenged female named Jessicka. They have done this for such a long period of time that even the sister of the one man and the neighbor totally accept her being treated like a dog, literally! If that wasn’t enough torture for this pour girl she finds herself being sold to perform and have filmed with men porn scenes. But shortly after one of amateurish porn shoots she is bitten by a dog that may have been infected with rabies? Again another film that wastes too much time thinking they are the next great filmmaker instead of just trying to give the audience a film that is worth watching… Example: she is bitten like 15 minutes in and doesn’t go ape shit until the last seven minutes of this 82 minute film? Which also raises the question Did Jessicka actually have rabies or just loses her fucking mind after all the years of the abuse? This could be why this film didn’t have much shelf life as I give it 1 star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

One year anniversary passes what am I doing now!

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Hey people November 12th came and gone… Why is that date so important to me? Well one year ago I was sitting in an ER where I believe my lord Rutger Hauer allowed me to see Anthrax in concert in the afterlife. All jokes aside after all the tests, the scares of a pacemaker, etc., found out I literally burned out the human body. (Yes, it is possible I did it.) The point is to this post that just the mere reason a lot of people helped last year with a GoFundMe page that was put together by my neighbor Nathan William and my brother Tom Gross. Again I can never say enough how much that meant to me to all the people who went in on it and know everyone who did. To this day there is still a list of people I never got to see or know who contributed. TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ! To celebrate this today I head to a couple locations to film yet another part of “Pink Eye: The Horror Story” segment for Dan and I’s upcoming film that we are shooting for Fall of 2022, “Tales From the Gross Side”.   Not a day passes I do not think about how quickly and how much people came together to help and again “TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ!

P.S. I plan on living to the ripe old age of 197 where I am in a wheelchair and have Yuengling forced into me by I.V.