Gross Movie Reviews #475

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Gross Movie Reviews #475

 

Mind Trap (YouTube) – Another Dan Haggerty classic was unearthed from 1989 but oh I was wrong as Mr. Haggerty was much underused in this feature and has the look of being on set for one day. What else doesn’t help is when you go search everybody involved with the film on the Google machine this was pretty much it. Anyway in this weirdo film where a cat is used as a weapon Dan Haggerty plays an agent for this girl Shana. She just happens to be casted in several B-films that she quite enjoys but might have her big break coming. That is all put on hold when her father is killed by the KGB for his mind control research. Shana’s father built a dream room under their house but has only seen it once but the KGB kills the rest of her family trying to get it. Shana plays a weird game of cat and mouse if that is what you wanna call it with the KGB as she uses her movie skills to take them on. This movie is actually very terrible and found myself laughing several times because how bad it gets. Also the film disappointed me greatly as there are very few scenes of Dan Haggerty… I may have to go rewatch “Night Wars” or “The Channeler” as I give this a ½ star.

 

100 Bloody Acres (Shudder) – An Australian film about The Morgan Brothers who make organic manure. These two brothers recently hit it big with a big name client as they have a special formula of manure that involves dead bodies. If roadkill isn’t available any dead human will do. Brother Reg who just picked up a dead body from the side of the road picks up three music festival goers believing he can just drop them off and get with the hot redhead Sophie. Sophie is everything to Reg as she sings the golden oldies and still has some country girl in her. But things go south quickly as both of her boyfriends find the dead body in back, but too late Reg has gotten them to his older brother. Now the only thing in the way is Reg protecting Sophie from being grinded up in the manure by his big brother. One mishap after another result in 80-year old pussy eating, a cop who is best friends with the brothers being shot, and Sophie admitting she actually likes Reg and not the two guys she is with. It’s weird enough and gory enough the film is a very pleasant surprise of a horror film as I give it 3 stars.

 

Deadly Games (YouTube) – Apparently this 80s or 70s slasher but actually thriller has reappeared again for people to watch for free and how it gets you to watch is it stars a young Steve Railsback and the legendary Dick Butkus. Anyhow Billy Owens who just reopened the local town movie theater and a cop Roger Lane got this weird war buddy relationship going on. If that isn’t enough everybody in this west coast town is married and banging everyone else except their spouses to the point I thought I was watching the wrong movie when the pool scene came on. Because everyone is bumping uglies a masked killer who also happens to be a peeping Tom begins killing off people. There really isn’t an ending and this weird movie formula works on some level so if you got some time to kill give this a try as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shazam! (Theater) – Captain Marvel, ha-ha caught you sleep reading… Anyway DC lets this family film out about a 14 year old kid named Billy Batson who becomes a superhero that is strong as Superman because his heart is pure. He is picked by a wizard to carry on the Shazam tradition and defeat the evil power of the Seven Deadly Sins. Billy being a runaway who doesn’t have a family learns what the most important thing is having a family and that helps him defeat the evil Seven Deadly Sins. But what does this have over Batman and recent Superman flicks: it’s funny, interesting, a great origin story and it isn’t Batman or Superman. The sooner DC universe learns you can dig deep into your comic archives without having the big two involved the sooner we can see more cool flicks like “Shazam!”, “Wonder Woman”, hell even “Aquaman”! This is the most family oriented comic book hero film I have seen to date and its great as I give 3 ½ stars.

 

Monster Island (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Just when I thought SyFy Channel turned into the Harry Potter network they pull this Asylum Entertainment project out of their ass that stars Eric Roberts as a Navy general. A giant volcanic monster named ‘Tango’ or giant star fish has risen from the deep depths of the ocean to cause destruction on Earth. But there is a legend of a monster called ‘The Living Mountain’ when brought to life it will kill the giant magma filled starfish. Yes it is their version of the new Godzilla movie but if you enjoy silly shit involving monsters then grab a beer and enjoy Eric Roberts talking to himself as I give it 2 stars.

 

Await Further Instructions (DVD) – This is a post-apocalyptic oddity as it takes place at the holidays. The news keeps reporting strange going-ons with the U.S., China, and Russia like WWIII is about to happen, then blackness. The plot is the son comes home with his Indian girlfriend to meet mum but the family is super racist. Once they figure it is a bad idea it is too late as they wake up early to leave but the house is covered in a black metallic substance and a message on the tele reading “Await Further Instructions”. The family quickly turns on each other as they believe the girlfriend is infected and the father only believes what the tele tells him. What is outside and how to get out is unknown? A super weird flick that has that uneasy “Videodrome” and “The Mist” feeling to it with an ending that will just leave you asking a shitload of questions. I give it 3 stars as your homework assignment is to go watch it report back to me!

Revenge of Billy the Kid (DVD) – If you are looking to fulfill your British film weirdness well this film about the McDonalds on an isolated island will do. These back woods farmers called the McDonalds sell their crops to mainlanders but try to keep to themselves on this island. Well the father McDonald gets all horned up one day walking with his prize goat and yes he makes it his mate! Little time passes as the goat of course gives birth to a mutant. The one young woman Ronnie that lives on the farm gives it the name Billy and tries to take care of it until it runs away. When it is all grown up Billy’s ugly ass comes back for a killing spree of the family! If you need more bestiality in your life this 2 star film is all you.

 

The Perfection (DVD) – A thriller with a couple bizarre well written twists takes place in the music world. A cello artist named Charlotte who was as perfect as god according to her teacher had to leave the famous music training school to take care of her sick mom. A decade passes and a new prodigy has risen named Lizzie. Charlotte tracks her down along with her old teacher to get back in the music world. Lizzie and Char hit it off immediately and head off for a little vacation but Lizzie is not feeling well at all. Lizzie is later found all drugged up on the side of the road by herself and missing something. Without saying too much the film takes a couple turns in the story that you will not expect and quite enjoy the finish. Don’t mind you see some blurred out man meat from Steven Weber it’s all part of the process as I give it 3 stars.

Shed of the Dead (DVD) – Trevor is a man living out his fantasy world in his shed when he isn’t hanging with his buddy Graham playing some Dungeons and Dragons type game. Trevor and the wife don’t get along and he is in between jobs and now the neighbor Kane Hodder wants him evicted for not taking care of his lot. Trevor as Casimir the Destroyer always knows what to do but in the real world Trevor hates life until… the zombie apocalypse hits and Trevor tries to decide should he save his wife and just hang out with his friend Graham who finally was able to leave his house. There is also a couple other fun names in here: Brian Blessed who does voiceover, Michael Berryman which may own the most famous recent death in a movie to become a zombie? (He is dressed as a leather horse with a butt plug, you need to see it just because!), and Bill Mosley as Doc who is excited the zombie apocalypse has happened. It is a clone of “Shaun of the Dead” a bit but don’t let that dissuade you from enjoying this entertaining zombie film that needed more Kane Hodder as the Canadian. For that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

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Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

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This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #473

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

 

The Nun (DVD) – “The Conjuring” series continues as they did a prequel or more of an origin story for that scary ass nun that scares the nutsacks out of the Warrens. It is set in 1952 where a sect, group, whatever you wanna call them of nuns hang out in this remote castle called the Abbey outside of a small Romanian town. However these quiet young ladies have been keeping an evil secret hidden away from the Vatican and the world. After a young man who delivers food to the Abbey finds a bloody ass nun hung herself he thought he should get word to the right people. So the Vatican sends a priest with a mysterious past and a nun who has yet to take her vows to the Abbey and investigate the suicide. And see if the rumors are true about something evil living there? Once there they both understand quickly this evil is real and must be dealt with in a hurry as its power is beginning to grow. But no matter what happens we all know from the past films with the Warrens the ‘nun’ is still doing some ghostly shit so in the end what was the point of the film? For that I give a meh and 2 stars.

Empire of Ash (YouTube) – Been a little while since I touched on my second favorite genre “post-apocalyptic films”, so I thought it was time to tackle this Canadian thriller from 1988. If I got the backstory right it was supposedly filmed in 1986 then got rereleased in 1988 as “Empire of Ash II” in case you cannot find one, which is why. For another weird fact it was also retitled in some countries as “Maniac Warriors”, no wonder it took me a while to track this lower budgeted crap down. So the apocalypse happened and there are some survivors. Problem there is a crazy ass priest with his band of post-apocalyptic misfits killing survivors who are not down with the new god in ‘New Idaho’. A woman warrior (Danielle) and a weird bootleg of a bootleg loner warrior team up, bump uglies, and try to save the one’s sister. If that wasn’t enough plot for you on the other side of ‘New Idaho’ there is some generic scientists using some survival weirdos of kidnapping fresh victims, I mean survivors to use for their possible cure. In the end a lot of random filler and a hot young lady warrior 80s style fucking shit up but not enough for me to recommend yinz going down the same path of finding this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Empire of Ash III (YouTube) – Yes for the love of Rutger Hauer it had a sequel and I watched it. Released in 1989 it still follows the same female warrior (Danielle) who lost her man, her sister, and really doesn’t seem to care… Supposedly its 2050 and William Smith playing the new bad ass nutzoid priest is out fucking people up in ‘New Idaho’. Danielle after getting naked decides to help a young man rescue his teenage love from William Smith before he boinks her for god! There was little recasting from the first movie as you see a lot of the same people in this sequel but most likely someone got fired to pay for William Smith as he wasn’t doing high profile projects any longer. Best thing I can say about this besides Danielle and William Smith is there are cannibals and for that I give 2 stars. And before I forget this movie was also retitled “Last of the Warriors” at one time.

 

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (Blu-ray) – Okay people I really wanted to like this movie but man this was disappointing folks. The film stars Shane Douglas as himself. Douglas has a feud with another wrestler Billy that gets ugly quick over a woman. Douglas ‘accidentally’ kills this wrestler Billy in the ring. Billy’s Brother Angus in order to get revenge he must sacrifice a nurse to begin his zombie horde, and pay a promoter to set up a private wrestling event at an empty West Virginia prison. A bus takes the wrestlers (Douglas, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, and a few others) along with valets to the prison. Oh before I forget Kurt Angle makes a cameo through the side door that even seems out of place for this film? Now they all must fight through the hordes of zombies because Douglas and this now dead wrestler Billy could get along. Damn that is really playing a wrestling angle… too bad it is pretty boring. It has a little bit of gore and tons of extras but Piper has little to work with to help this feature along as maybe the film idea should have stayed dead as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (Theater) – Holy fuck nuts the action does not stop in this wonderful film. If you are looking for story or closure into the John Wick storyline you won’t find it here. But if you are looking for some of the best action sequences ever for a US film and wanna see John Wick kill hundreds, Mark Dacascos be one of my favorite villains and enjoy his work, Halle Berry have dick-chomping dogs, and be introduced to some bad ass action dudes you may have not had the pleasure watching in other films like I have? Check your brain at the door and allow your mind to be action fucked by this great film. The movie has flaws if you sit back and have been studying the storyline of the franchise as my podcast partners John Shatzer, Kyle Poling, and I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. Imagery is top notch but somewhere behind all that the writers may have forgotten what makes this run? Either way people I don’t care as I was entertained as hell as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Cold Steel (VHS/YouTube) – Jonathan Banks who plays Isaac the Iceman in this direct-to-video thriller wants revenge against Johnny Modine no relation to Matthew Modine. Johnny and Isaac were young cops who were close buddies partying until they got into a scuffle they couldn’t handle in an alley way behind the bar. Johnny got knocked out; Isaac got his throat and face slashed, and their buddy died. Besides killing Johnny’s father on Christmas Eve night he uses a young Sharon Stone to lure Johnny’s trust and let his guard down so The Iceman can play with him before his revenge. Maybe not the best of thrillers but you have amazing car stunts, Jonathan Banks who has always played a great bad guy, Adam Ant as a meth dealer, and Sharon Stone naked, I am in to watch this again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Possession (DVD) – Well this 1981 film was one fucking weird movie folks. Mark and Anna are having marriage troubles. Mark was away for a long time with his government job only to come home and spend some quality family time and find out his wife Anna is not just fucking another dude… But she apparently gave birth to some weird gooey thing in the subway tunnel that she has sex with and you are supposed to decide if its: God, the devil, or just Mark’s clone for some weird unknown reason? When you think the film gets strange and blows past that and just get downright confusing as Anna has an apartment away from Mark and her boyfriend so she can take care of this thing. Which she must kill to feed it by the way but Mark doesn’t understand until the very end when Anna regrets it when they both die. Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill were fucking amazing in way into the roles but I still don’t quite know what I watched in this gooey mystery as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up

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This week we tear into 3 more genre flicks.  First we have an Australian conspiracy flick featuring our favorite dude Donald Pleasence in GROUND ZERO.  Then we chat about a regional drive in oddity featuring a mutated sheep monster doing what a mutated sheep monster does best in GOD MONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS.  And lastly Kyle forgets which one of his favorite Mexican actors stars in this hard sci fi slick PROSPECT.  We also talk about the newest news, and all the regular jazz.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week Kyle gets called into podcast human resources to have a “talk” as we mourn the deaths of Larry Cohen and John Carl Beuchler.  But it’s not all gloom and doom as we will be covering 3 more genre flicks.  First Kyle covers the Netflix jam LOVE, DEATH AND ROBOTS as he gets his animation on.  Then John picks an all-time 80’s boner jam in UP THE CREEK.  And lastly Tim chats about a semi lost bit of sci fi from the darkest depths of the video store in DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.  Also we hit up all the news that is fit to print (or make up if you’re bloody disgusting). So download this episode or all our Rondo awards will evaporate.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #471

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Gross Movie Reviews #471

 

South of Hell (DVD) – An independent anthology of sorts as a mysterious young lady telling stories after she leaves a bar that involves humanity. The stories are more about substance than blood and guts but all four are solid entries. The first involves a cute couple (Tawny and Tony) who are all about each other until they move together. Tony cuts Tawny off from the rest of the world for several months as the relationship sours. After an argument Tawny is killed by Tony but doesn’t let her death get in the way of the two being together forever. The second involves two brothers who make drugs for a man who doesn’t like his shipments late and things go south quickly. The third story is about a young woman in college who decides to take a self-defense class because of her mom. But she is kidnapped by an unknown stalker. The fourth is about a man who kills because he enjoys the kill. All entries were well written and entertaining as D. Max Walters changed it up with more story telling than just throwing guts at the screen as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Axeman (DVD) – This 2013 independent slasher has a great cast and I like the set up but fails on many levels in making this slasher film fun. A giant dude with an axe even though he doesn’t use it much kills a group of twenty-somethings looking to party like they did in college. They of course ignore the legend at Cutter’s Creek to get this cabin cheap to party all weekend. When there is 40 minutes between deaths we get a lot of MTV reality show drama as who stole whose boyfriend takes up way too much running time of this feature. Another big mistake is having a huge actor to play the part of the ‘Axeman’ but literally give him no style or character. Hey I know this was a small budget but when you spend more time and cash into casting the film than on special effects and editing you are going to make a bad movie. I wanted to really like this film but I cannot find a way to do that as I give it 1 ½ stars. Stop trying to reinvent the slasher film formula!

 

Axeman 2: Overkill (DVD) – A few years later the sequel picks up seconds after the first film. Problem the sheriff and the final girl or guy in this case was shown at the end about to be hacked to pieces? Darren and the sheriff are alive and basically it is ignored that they were most likely killed. But for some weird script reason they survive only to find themselves being stalked by a new and improved ‘Axeman’ who looks like a bootleg Balls Mahoney from ECW! This time out at Cutter’s Creek we have Christians and criminals taking refuge in the cabin with a bad history. Thus begins another slaughter as the sheriff rounds up a posse to go kill the Axeman with failure as the only option as this sequel was dead on arrival. The actor who plays Darren in both films is also the director and possibly might want to look into another genre of film to make as this sequel may have been worse than the first film as I give it ½ star.

 

Glass (On Demand) – The follow-up to that wonderful film “Split” has David Dunn searching for a serial killer in the city. What he wasn’t expecting to find is the person with over 20 personalities behind the event. As the two fight for supremacy a doctor and about a hundred police officers show up to arrest both and take them to an asylum to be evaluated. There they come together with Mr. Glass. All three are very unique humans with certain possible superhero abilities. The good doctor played by Sarah Paulson has three days to cure them of their ailments as she believes they are not superheroes. With these three possible super humans together in one place you know it’s only a matter of time before a big battle happens. The film may have not gone the way most people wanted but I quite enjoyed the story as it did not try to do too much and let you feel for all three characters. Plus I enjoyed the ending with the good doctor which you know as soon as she hits the screen she is the real bad guy. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Happy Death Day 2U (On Demand) – I will be up front this film should have been better but also where they went with it I totally understand the direction. The whole gang is back and even though Tree is the central point of the story it gets screwed up in a time loop because of Ryan. And because of his actions now parallel universes have been opened up and Tree has been thrown into a different one. Her mom is still alive, her roommate isn’t trying to kill her, and Carter is banging Danielle which gives the sequel its humor. Instead of hilarious constant moments and lots of blood the film almost becomes more of a drama than horror film. All the characters are very likable and I love the first film so much more but this might be an example of when trying to explaining everything instead of just letting some little things in that universe go? I just hope they allow horror audiences to enjoy the first film for years to come and not make the mistake of making a third film that would somehow be a prequel as I give this sequel 2 stars.

 

Queen Crab (DVD) – If you haven’t had your fill of independent creature features then look no further than this feature brought to us by Brett Piper. Just a simple story of a little girl who had a pet crab. When her parents accidently die in an explosion the little girl’s uncle takes care of her. Twenty years later the little girl now an adult lives alone on her parents property and still has the pet crab. What people don’t know about is the crab is a giant crab that ate fruit from an experimental plant that dealt with growth her father was working on. Now the crab is loose wreaking havoc in the small town trying to protect its only friend. I always enjoy finding Brett Piper is out there still working as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dragon Lives Again (YouTube) – The film stars Bruce Leong and the film is dedicated to the millions of the Bruce Lee fans. This is what you need to know folks… Bruce Lee after death goes to the underworld only to fight Dracula, Clint Eastwood, James Bond, Mummies, and Zombies and gets help from Popeye. Literally it is one of those films you would think somebody made up but it is truly real and entertaining as hell as I give it 3 stars.

 

Triple Threat (On Demand) – A Chinese Heiress inherits an ungodly amount of money from her father. She decides to use it to fight crime syndicates so it is safe for people to play outside again and not be afraid. Of course she is going to face some fallout from this now she is hitting national television to talk about her plan. Cue the awesome “Predator-like” beginning scene of people being obliterated by an elite team of soldiers. The elite team is there for nefarious reasons and unleashes supposedly loose cannon that are hired to take out the Chinese Heiress. When two trackers who help this group were believed to be killed and meet a man who survived the attack and unlikely alliance is sort of made when they are forced to protect the heiress. This bad ass action flick is almost as fun as watching “The Expendables” and “The Raid”. Every action star in the flick gets their two minutes of beating some major ass and this is a must watch as I give it 4 stars. Tony Jaa, Tiger Hu Chen, Iko Uwais, Scott Adkins, and Michael Jai White should be in every action film as far as I am concerned as they made me say “Fuck Yeah” quite a few times during this flick.

The Head Hunter (On Demand) – With not much backstory we are introduced to this Viking-like warrior who lives alone in a house with beast heads spiked to the wall. This big burly man has flashbacks of his daughter who he once watched over and was snatched up by one of these monsters. Every so often he receives a message or signal to go hunt for the new beast. He goes to war with all beasts over and over looking for the particular one that took his daughter. Finally the day as come that the beast he has been looking for has been spotted. He is more excited than usual to track this monster. Like the rest of the defeated beasts he has decapitated it and carries it home to spike it and show it to his daughter’s grave. Without giving too much away that is when things take a surprising, creepy, and interesting fun turn. An amazing fun monster flick that you do not want to pass on as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

BBQ Massacre (YouTube) – A funny short film about four friends who learn the hard way of buying a RV off of a creepy dude as I give it 3 stars.

 

Vacation Campground Massacre (YouTube) – A short film that claims to be a true story about four women camping and being stalked by a man in a pillow case with a smiley face on it. The killer actually made me laugh a couple times as I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Barn Party Massacre (YouTube) – Two friends go to a barn to drink their asses off that looks like someone’s basement and of course owned by a homicidal maniac! Very uneventful short film as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #470

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Gross Movie Reviews #470

 

Midnight Review (DVD) – Here is something from new independent filmmakers Mitch Tyree and Broaden Torture Productions. This flick follows friends who work for a horror critic website and magazine called “Midnight Review”. As the so-called friends are bickering constantly, a man in a skull mask stalks them and the staff/friends are dropping like flies. In the end I like the concept since the story tries to keep you from figuring out the killer is by having all characters involved feel they are ‘the best horror critic’. Tyree and company’s effort suffers from learning that editing is your friend. Overall some things could have been done differently but I like what they could do project wise in the future as I give this 2 out 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Obsessive (DVD) – The next Mitch Tyree effort is a film about a vlogger/blogger who wants to make a horror movie. He is disgusted with the entries into the genre out there. So he decides he will film everything he does including heading a horror movie convention to do some interviews of other independent filmmakers to get their take. But some of the insight the vlogger/blogger gets is disappointed and just cements his belief the killings need to be real on film. The masked blogger believes that killing these randomly picked people and having it filmed will make them famous since he is filming it as it happens. This second effort from the Broaden Torture Productions crew is much better project that could gain some independent horror fans. This film has the feel or tone of  an “August Underground” film and again editing could have helped in the long term but still a solid effort I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Spookies and Oddities Volume One (DVD) – Three disturbing shorts put together that has an abusive husband listening to the devil on his shoulder, a person who only seems to be able to see and a hear man, and we get to see a woman being stalked. All these are done in a little over 20 minutes by the Broaden Torture Production crew. Most likely little ideas they had that were never fleshed out or just trying out some ideas before they decide to make full features? These DVDs are cool things for the die-hard independent fans that want to get to know the crew better and see what might be in store for the future as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

Weed Wacker Massacre (YouTube) – An absolutely wonderful 12 ½ minute film from a production team called ‘Crap Films’. A weed wacker shorts out and electrocutes a man using it. Thus causing the man’s spirit to take over and the weedwacker begin slicing and dicing through the neighbors. A hilarious idea that ends with a man wrestling the weed wacker on the ground! I always love this kind of simple fun gory stuff as I give it 4 stars.

 

Blood City Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Peter Crady is a tatted up bald dude that gets great joy out of breaking necks! It has been two years since Peter killed his parents and decides to break out of the local asylum to break necks again. Two agents try to track him down so they hit up his sister Susan who really can care less about Peter. The film has it all: bad music, bad acting, bad storyline, made in Austria, and I do not know if it was made on purpose like this or it was actually that bad as I give it 1 star. You really got to search for this independent DVD since it is overseas but very easily can be watched on YouTube.

Werewolf Massacre at Hell’s Gate (DVD) – In Skinner’s Grove back in 1693 the residents burn a woman they believed to be a witch. Of course like all witches in horror movies she curses the future residents of Skinner’s Grove! Now present day a paranormal researcher is finding evidence of werewolves in the cursed town. With the local residents already knowing of the curse they have dispatched armed militants to gun down the creatures. Pretty cheesy and pretty boring at times but just glad I watched it for the title as I give it 1 star. If you search Amazon hard enough you can find a DVD on the cheap.

 

Urban Massacre (DVD) – This movie idea was bad from the beginning as the latest unknown hip hop group is about to burst out big. But before they do they all must deal with an ugly killer clown. Something tells me someone watched “Killjoy” and made a cheaper version of that movie that fails miserably. I give this flick 0 stars for existing.

 

Teen Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from filmmaker Jon Knautz that gave us the creature feature “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer”. Jon Knautz sends teens out into the forest for a science project but find a thing trapped in a cage. Some info on the internet claims this 2004 short can be seen as an extra on the “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer” DVD. I have the DVD and this was not on there? So maybe it is an extra on the Blu-ray or later versions of the DVD? Either way I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (DVD) – Back in 1985 someone got idea of making Fred Ward an action star… They should have stuck with it. Fred Ward plays a New York cop whose death is faked because he has been recruited by an organization that goes after untouchable criminals. They give him a new name in Remo Williams as his training is to tear him down and retrain him without the use of weapons. His body is the weapon as he will eventually be able to dodge bullets and walk on water. But his main goal is to bring down a man who works within the military named Grove who sells weapons to the U.S. military. Grove’s evil sidekick is a young Patrick Kilpatrick who gets into a couple fun action scenes with Ward. Another cool action film from the mid-80s that should not be dismissed when you talk this genre of film with people as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Trench 11 (DVD) – The film is set in WWI, 1918. On the western front of France something terrible is discovered that the Germans were secretly doing. A whole underground tunnel system that was dug out by Germans was buried on purpose. So a small group of Allied soldiers are sent to the abandoned bunker at the same time the Germans make preparations to return so no one can learn their deep evil secrets of what was really going on there. The Allies once arriving find a German lab and people that should have be dead but still live, kind of. The Germans were exploring a biological weapon and may have unleashed something that cannot be contained? If you are a fan of the “Outpost” films and “The Strain” TV show you will most likely enjoy this and if not you will enjoy the exquisite bone crunching autopsy scene as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation (DVD) – A documentary that dives into what started the revolution of filmmaking in Australia that really started in the late 60s and early 70s. Before that they really didn’t have a film industry but slowly filmmakers were starting to pop up and began to put together productions in all genres. George Miller and Brian Trenchard-Smith are two names that Americans know but they have several filmmakers, critics, and actors talk about the crazy times of filmmaking. Just another wonderful and fun documentary for film fans as I give it 4 stars.

 

Caesar & Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (DVD) – Caesar and Otto are just two guys who don’t have a job and now just happen to be on the run from the law. So what better way to escape them is become summer camp counselors?  As they begin their training their father has been thrown out of his house again and decides to hang with his sons. Once their father shows up the trainees for the summer camp start disappearing and it may or may not have something to do with the head counselor and nurse selling body parts?  I may have enjoyed the role of Felissa Rose in the film it isn’t enough for me to really enjoy the horror/comedy as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Your ears will either enjoy or hate us with our three latest podcast episodes available for download!

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This week we return with 3 more flicks.  First we chat about A new independent Bigfoot flick picked by Tim called WILLOW CREEK.  Then Kyle learns why he should never have laughed at Eric Roberts in STAR 80. And finally we have a history lesson on racial inequality from John in his flick KING OF THE ZOMBIES.  Also we retire football chat, Tim’s injuries and his body slowly decaying in his old age, drunk stripper stories and a ton more.  So listen to this show or Eric Roberts will tie you to his rape chair.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Do you like 1982? We like 1982… So let’s talk about the flicks of 1982!

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week we hail Satan,  get into our monkey suits, and fight prehistoric monsters with some rednecks as we talk about 3 more fine genre flicks.  First burn down all the churches and worship the devil in LORDS OF CHAOS.  Then water ski to an island of zombies in TEENAGE ZOMBIES.  And finally stop motion dinosaurs are the best dinosaurs in THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER.  Also we chat about all the flicks we have been watching and anything else that seems to rattle off in our minds.  So download this episode and don’t forget to cut vertically and not horizontally.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #468

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Gross Movie Reviews #468

Camp Hideaway Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Of course a ‘massacre’ film you should not take too serious and you might actually enjoy it for what it is? A cheap gory flick with a naked Tina Krause! Anyway, a campsite and the small town woods are full of urban myths among the locals who talk about crazy satanic shit going down and people disappearing. The locals try to warn the out-of-towners but no one listens. Tina Krause comes into town looking for missing friends and cannot find any clues while three men conspire to kill people and sell their shit for money! There is some gore and again there is Tina Krause so enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

Halloween Mind Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – We are introduced to a man named Carl. Carl is in a bad need of meds. Without his meds lots of weirdness happens as example an alien or demon has made its way into Carl’s chest to start talking to Carl and control him. Carl talks to it like it is his inner voice. And his inner voice is explaining to Carl he needs no meds and needs to kill! Not only kill but dismember people including his doctor who may or may not be trying to help? The film has its dull moments but also has its hilarious moments of gore and makes you crave Scruffy’s Discount Liquor and Pizza (you need to see the flick just for this commercial) for that I give the film 2 stars.

 

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (DVD) – An old Eye-talian flick from 1985 where a group of people survive a plane crash into a legendary part of the Amazon called ‘Dinosaur Valley’. The land is forbidden to outsiders so no one will be looking for the group. Now on their own the group must venture through a jungle filled with gators, cannibalistic tribes, Piranha, leeches, quicksand, and of course slave traders. Not near the level of craziness of “Cannibal Holocaust” but is one those fun jungle genre movies that is known by many names and very possible you may have seen it and not know it. I give this fun jungle flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Movie House Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – This film was made by the same dude who gave us “Hobgoblins”! If this title isn’t striking your memory the other title it was released under “Blood Theatre” may as it also starred Mary Woronov. Spotlite Theaters owns several theaters and they have just acquired an old single screen theater that has been reopened several times without any luck. The biggest problem the old theater has going against it is the theater is haunted. So the manager of Spotlite Theater gives three young employees a chance to make some extra cash if they can get it cleaned up and profitable on opening night? As the three work hard to get it open people begin to die again one by one, mostly off screen. The lesser known film was made for nearly nothing and does not pretend to be a big glamorous horror flick. Thus it works in its favor and we get a good amount of screen time from the legendary Mary Woronov just having fun with her role as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Night Patrol (DVD) – Oh nutsack, it is a lesser known comedy from Jackie Kong that stars Linda Blair and filled hilariously bad jokes. Officer Melvin White has just got promoted to night patrol. Only issue Melvin has with this promotion is he also works his craft, “stand-up” as The Unknown Comic” at night which of course will interfere with the police work. Melvin also has another issue since he is The Unknown Comic he has a bag on his head which hides his identity. Problem is someone is robbing places all over the city with a bag on their head looking like The Unknown Comic. I laughed many times through this flick at the bad jokes, enjoyed the cameo appearances made by Andrew Dice Clay and Pat Morita, and Linda Blair playing it completely straight makes this comedy well worth watching multiple times as I give it 3 stars. By some chance that isn’t enough for you to watch there is an amazing “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” bit near the end of the film!

 

Messiah of Evil (DVD) – A young woman heads to a small town on the coast of California because she has lost contact with her father. Worried she wants to find him quickly and begins her search at his home reading his journals. As she investigates the town she quickly understands this town is a little weird and hooks up with a swinging young couple who just like the town. But things get creepy quickly as all three learn the town is full of the undead. A prophecy about a man who came from the sea a hundred years ago predicted as they will take over world. I don’t know if this truly a zombie flick or not but it is bizarre enough I will be revisiting this flick at some point again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Killings at Outpost Zeta (YouTube) – A no budget sci-fi creature feature flick set some time in the future where humans are trying to set up different planets for space stations, rest stops for ships, research into other galaxies. The planet is rather new compared to other planets as there is no life yet? But Star Fleet has lost contact with its Pathfinder team it sent there and a rescue team that was sent there shortly after. For two years there were no incidents then these two in recent months. Now with pressure on Star Fleet to get answers they need volunteers for the suicide mission of getting the answers. Once the new team is on the planet they feel like they are being watched at all times. The crew gets to the outpost to find everyone dead and these little black masses left behind. A creature that was found the units before them is the cause of death and reproducing from the black masses killing the new crew off one by one. The creature is seen less than creatures in “The Boogens”. A super cheap ass “Alien” rip-off with not a ton of plot that makes a fun movie to watch with a group of friends as I give it 2 stars.

Closure (DVD) – A short film from Alex Cassun about a police detective who wants to speak with a dangerous suspect. The suspect injured during the arrest grants the wish of the detective but be careful what you wish for as I give the quick short film 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #466

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Gross Movie Reviews #466

A Meowy Halloween (DVD) – Steve Rudzinski digs deep into his comedy bag to bring you this little gem about a talking cat named Whiskers and its owner Wally. Wally just happens to be a police detective and a man whose family was cursed many years ago. If Wally isn’t spitting candy corn out of the car he is busy with his stakeout of a possible witch in the neighborhood. But Whiskers as much scarier things going on at home as the cat believes the strange things that are happening are the work of a haunting. And Whiskers will stop at nothing to have the ghosts removed as long as Wally’s credit card covers the cost? Yes, the movie is completely silly but once again Steve and crew prove it doesn’t all have to be about horror as they pull a family film out of thin air. If by some chance you been living under a rock and have not seen any of Steve’s movies it is time for you to visit www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

 

American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet (DVD) – The curse was me sitting through this dull ass flick. But anyway a couple young women steal a shrunken head and sell it to a so-called paranormal expert. He uses the head for PR stunt for his upcoming show. The expert, Hunter Perry, gets attendees to play hot potato with the shrunken head and once eliminated from the game Lilith Ratchet soon comes to eliminate them in real life. Oh this horrific as I give it one star. The film isn’t as bad as it is dull.

 

Urban Warriors (YouTube) – Just another Italian post-apocalyptic flick where three research techs survive a nuclear war in their underground lab. They dig their asses out of the underground lab only to find things have changed. The world is fucked and it is filled with cannibalistic, leather-clad, motorcycle gangs where normal people are hard to come by. But that does not stop Brad of the research team to try to survive and save the human race. If you are lucky you get to see this film with the Michael Dudikoff introduction as this flick lacks the fun that most Italian post-apocalyptic films are when watching. This film suffers from “it could have been better even with its low budget” but hey shit happens as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (DVD) – One of JR Bookwalter’s early 90s films made for nearly nothing that has a group of space travelers trapped on the unknown world of Gurgon. Or just somewhere out in the middle of the woods of Somewhere, Ohio. The space travelers must deal with the dinosaurs that are trying to eat them as they must figure a way off the planet. A hilariously bad movie that apparently has a few stories behind it from I have heard from some Bookwalter fans as I give it one star.

 

Godmonster of Indian Flats (YouTube/DVD) – Possibly one of the most random films about a mutant sheep attacking a small town. This western horror flick is about a young farm dude named Eddie and a university professor named Dr. Clemens. A giant bloody embryo is found next to Eddie in the sheep pin after a bad night on the town. Dr. Clemens convinces Eddie to take it to his lab so he can research it. But soon it mutates, hatches, and terrorizes the small western town as they were going to use it as a sideshow attraction to make money for the town. The movie isn’t real good but the monster is actually really cool looking and makes the film entertaining enough to stick it out as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Ground Zero (DVD) – A film somewhat based on fact has a second generation cameraman Harvey getting mixed up with the royal commission in 1984. They are investigating the claims of aborigines being left in the way of the blasts from nine A-bombs during the late 50s into the 60s. Harvey doesn’t pay too much attention to this until the government comes knocking at his door knowing his father was the cameraman for the tests. And his father may have hidden away some incriminating evidence of the event somewhere in an old film can. Mr. Denton gets neck deep into the investigating after he finds out his father was murdered twenty years ago and believes his answer is out in the desert where his father’s old friend lives. Donald Pleasence happy to see the young Denton explains the events and how his father got mixed up with it. In the end Harvey’s effort is useless but the ending of what happened to the lost footage makes the movie that much more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Once Upon a Time at Christmas (DVD) – December 14th marks the day that Santa and his Miss Claus begin their murder spree in Woodridge, New York. The small town police have trouble piecing together why the murders are taking place. But when they figure out it the murders are traced to the 12 days of Christmas they have the clue they needed for the killer Santa. Apparently Nick Conway is a military vet that lost his mind and eventually had a bitter divorce. This leads Nick looking for his daughter so they can be a family again. Another holiday slasher to add to your favorites list when Christmas rolls around as I give it 2 stars.

 

Future Zone (DVD) – For those who pay attention this B-movie sequel to “Future Force” have David Carradine’s character John Tucker facing off with a drug lord. John’s son Billy travels 30 years from the future to help his father live another day and bring down the drug lord. The film has it all David A. Prior directing, Charles Napier is the mayor, and Carradine using a Nintendo power glove to blow things up equals B-movie gold as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Darkside of the Moon (YouTube/DVD) – The year is 2022 and a ship called Spacecore-1 is on a dangerous mission of fixing satellites in orbit. The ship has a malfunction and they drift to the dark side of the moon where communications fail. The crew has about 24 hours to get things up and running again or they will run out of air. As they are floating out in space they come across a NASA shuttle that hasn’t been seen in 30 years. They board it in hopes of using it to fix their ship’s problems only to find a dead body aboard the shuttle. The crew brings it back and several weird things begin to happen to the crew members while they are alone. Who is it? What is it? When the dead body comes to life it seems the devil is among them and this has some connection to the Bermuda Triangle back on Earth. A pretty solid flick that feels like a 80s Corman sci-fi flick but isn’t. One of those films that got lost in the direct-to-video shuffle during the early 90s as I give it 3 stars.

 

Captain Marvel (Theater) – Carol Danvers becomes a powerful superhero by accident when testing a secret plane for an air force scientist. It is set in the 90s and meant to connect Nick Fury, the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, and a few other things for the Marvel movie fans. But like the “Thor” films before it the film is mostly just a ‘place holder’ until the real action begins with the next “Avengers” film. “Captain Marvel” is entertaining but not memorable as I give the big popcorn flick 3 stars as it makes me wanting the “Avengers” movie to come sooner than later. Again it’s no “Iron Man” or “Black Panther” but not much is?

 

Aquaman (DVD) – Arthur aka Aquaman must come back home to Atlantis to claim his kingdom before it is taken by his brother and he uses it to declare war on the rest of the world. The movie doesn’t take itself too serious and much more entertaining than the serious DC “Superman” and “Batman” flicks. If that wasn’t enough it does have Dolph Lundgren and Willem Dafoe in important roles which I am always a fan of those guys! DC pay attention yinz did something right here with Aquaman and Wonder Woman as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (On Demand) – An absolute fun animated film with not your usual storyline. A young teen Miles Morales is bitten by a spider while working on his artwork in the subway with his uncle. Soon his world is flipped upside down when he meets Peter Parker and he is going to show Miles the ropes of being a Spider-man. But while Parker is fighting Kingpin he dies and Miles promises Peter he will destroy Fisk’s super-collider. Fisk wants his family back so bad he is willing to destroy the city of New York and possibly all of reality. But with the open portal to other realities several Spider-people come from parallel universes and they must help Miles face off against Kingpin and shut down the collider. The story of Miles is perfect as he must now be the Spider-man of his dimension. Two things made this film absolutely perfect for me. First, one of the alternate Spider-men is Peter B. Parker who is mid-40s, divorced, and out of shape. Second, spoiler alert people I finally get an appearance of Spider-man 2099 in a movie! This flick gets four stars all the way and I hope to see a possible sequel or just another story to expand this universe.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019