Gross Movie Reviews #570

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Gross Movie Reviews #570

Zombie Flesh Eaters 5 (Blu-ray) – This is an alternate cut of Dustin Ferguson’s ‘Zombi VIII: Urban Decay’ and of course playing off the titles from the early to late 80s where certain films would have several titles depending on the territory it was sold too? Example: Dawn of the Dead was actually known as Zombi in Italy breaking off into a whole other series. Long story short it made American horror fans nuts sometimes trying to track these down before the DVD came along… Anyhow, three friends head off to Matool Island which is claimed to be a cursed island? Once there they find a friend’s father who is undead and bring him back to America barely getting him through customs. Of course this is a bad idea kids but it makes for fun movies as the undead dude wastes no time infecting the residents of L.A. It comes off to me at least paying homage to ‘Zombi 3’ but in the end has that feeling of being incomplete but I still give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Clown Chainsaw Massacre (Blu-ray) – A Dustin Ferguson flick that is also known as ‘Night of the Clown’. It’s Halloween and some friends of course believe it’s a great idea to have their Halloween party where a killer clown was killed a decade ago. But behold and witness the “WHITEST Halloween party” you’ll ever imagine but that plays second fiddle to the Gacy Killer Clown Ghost thingy back for revenge! I am not a huge fan of killer clown films but kudos to Dustin for keeping this one watchable and not just another killer clown film for the shit pile that no horror fan will ever watch again as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

Black Raven (DVD) – This Kiss of Death Productions release was only seen on Pittsburgh Public Access Channel (PCTV 21) Halloween night 1997, but now is finally out on a limited release for all us independent film fans to see! Yet another early project from David and Diana Silvio that I am sure the Indy die hards will eat up. What makes this film different from the usual Indy fare is the Silvios like to mix things up instead of ever doing a straight up horror film so we get a bit of an action/horror/crime drama? Black Raven is a mysterious vigilante who is killing criminals and baffling the authorities. But Officer Murphy is making it personal to bring this psychopath to justice. But with the vigilante still running wild and Officer Murphy with not many answers he finds himself being fired and his investigation involving a mob boss… As the story unfolds and Murphy knowing the identity of the Black Raven Murphy is torn between saving or just out right killing the Black Raven. A weird, twisted, experiment, shot all over Pittsburgh, set as an action packed action horror drama! What else would you expect from the legendary and talented filmmaking duo of David and Diana Silvio as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.     

Creatures (DVD) – A field tripping group of people and a doctor are on a bus that is stopped by something strange hitting the windshield. They spot smoke and investigate to find an alien craft has crash landed. The group quickly is confronted by a small army of blue and green creatures that crave animal flesh and are able to infect humans if they only bite them. This in turn makes the humans or undead or zombies under control of the weirdo aliens. But the main plot of this low budget film comes down to the blue and green dudes hunting down a generic Gizmo character who befriends the humans in order to survive the ordeal. Weird, been done before kind of feeling and too exciting as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Uncanny (DVD) – A British film with a great cast: Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasance, John Vernon filmed in 1975 but not released until 1977. The film is set in Montreal (present times) where Peter Cushing is Wilbur Gray an author who has written a book about cats and has claims they are not just ordinary pets? The publisher interested has a meeting with Gray but takes issue with the claims so Gray begins to tell the publisher three examples of why cats cannot be trusted. First story is set in 1912 where a maid is trying to steal the will of her employer to help the nephew get rich but in the will the cats get everything. Second story is set in (present times) where a little girl Lucy has recently lost her parents and is forced to live with her aunt who doesn’t care for Lucy’s cat or the witchcraft books that were left to her by her mother. Third story is set in Hollywood 1936 where an actor kills his wife on set by replacing a prop for the real thing for a young look-a-like replacement only to have his dead wife’s cat seek revenge. I enjoyed the film a lot but have quite a few flaws and one of them being the Cushing wraparound is great but doesn’t exactly fit his agenda for his book. Or this killer cat film is supposed to be an anthology but doesn’t feel like one like it was cobbled together after the fact. Who knows folks cats are still evil but don’t let that stop you from seeking this oddity out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Malignant (DVD) – A newer James Wan flick where a woman Madison has had three miscarriages over the past couple years gets in a fight with her husband and wakes to find him murdered. After spending two weeks in the hospital she finds herself having visions of a dark force not just hanging out at her home but killing people. Slowly Madison and a detective find out she had a past before her adoption early on in her childhood. Her real name was Emily and she had parasitic twin who can control electricity and uses Emily/Madison’s body to kill people because it wasn’t completely removed during an experimental surgery. Think of an updated version of ‘The Dark Half’ with a little more twist to it as I give this fun little treat 3 stars.

Fangs (DVD) – If by some chance you have a hard time finding this cultish flick it is also known as ‘Holy Wednesday’. An odd mid-70s film about an old dude who has lots of snakes who turns them loose on those who have turned their backs on him. Because of this Wednesdays will never be the same again. You need some weirdness in your do not look past this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Gnomercy (DVD) – Giving ‘The New Mexico Weed Wacker Massacre’ a run for one of the worst films you could ever watch has a killer gnome come to human form to kill after a random dude pisses on him and drops his cocaine on the gnome. From there and because there was no budget for coming up with a real Gnome costume, it begins murdering random people. Meanwhile we are subjected to some terrible actors acting as friends heading to a cabin for one last weekend of fun. So when the gnome isn’t sharpening his tools he is killing the group one by one with some no imagination kills as I give this not fun bad film 0 stars.

Terror at Black Tree Forest (DVD/Tubi/remake) – This no budget UK film is a remake of a Dustin Ferguson film where a group of people head out in the forest for their yearly camping trip. After the boring story of the tater sack killer is told a killer in a tater sack starts to kill them one by one. The low budget slasher isn’t real exciting, but not real terrible in this slasher exception for the reveal which you know is coming before the filmmaker did as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Gross Movie Reviews #569

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Gross Movie Reviews #569

Zombies from Sector 9 (DVD) – A filmmaker named Rob Ceus has made this crazy Indy zombie flick out of Belgium! Anyway it is set back in 1986 where a nuclear accident has happened in Crittersville and the next day the recently deceased have become the undead. Three years have passed and Crittersville area or now called “Sector 9” is known to be the zombie outbreak area and a man known as Bookwalker roams the area but the outbreak is starting to spread beyond Sector 9. After Bookwalker loses his wife and kid this sets him on the path of destroying all zombies and vicious raiders alike in his path. The independent film with its gore-filled effects fits right in with the early works of a Todd Sheets or a J.R. Bookwalter that will make Indy fans crave to see this flick again and again. The only overall flaw of the film if I am going to point something out would be the pacing as it makes the film seem cobbled together at times but I still enjoyed as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Prison Island Massacre (DVD) – What in the Rutger Hauer have I found myself watching as I have dived deeper into the “massacre” genre with this 2007 film that is also known as ‘Angel of Death 2’ and ‘Women Behind Bars 4’ among a few other titles in a foreign languages. This German film stars the effects of Olaf Ittenbach and Jess Franco’s wife as the prison warden! If anything you know are in for something alright when you get wide shots of this mysterious island and the jail cells are held together by chains and padlocks. Young women are sent to this isolated prison to be tortured, killed, or worse for the warden’s pleasure… When there isn’t some weird German porn thing going on apparently prisoners escape on a regular basis to give the film some plot? If nothing else we do get a great scene of a mercenary trying to help the women out but gets captured, then scalped for his attempt. In the end I didn’t know if I was disappointed or just happy this wasn’t full blown German porn? Watch it and you’ll understand as I give this mess 1 ½ stars.

Clown Fear (DVD) – Hey, another killer clown film at 110 F’N minutes, yes this sounds like a horrible idea. Even though it stars Sadie Katz and Sarah French that isn’t nearly enough to save this clown horror film set in Clown City, USA. A woman, Augie Duke is left at the altar in Vegas so her in her three bridesmaids jump into the car to party and breakdown near “The Clown Inn”. From there it is all jokes and fun until the “Clown Clan” show up to take care of the outsiders! See the backstory is a small town sees clowns as a religion so again why in the fuck is this stupid ass film 110 minutes long? Again independent filmmakers I love yinz all but take note yinz ain’t makin’ “Avengers: Endgame” and never will! EDIT YOUR MOVIE! I give this boring garbage 1 star.   

Shriekshow (Blu-ray) – One of the hardest working independent filmmakers around, Brad Twigg, is back with his latest project that is an anthology of sorts. It does run an hour and 45 minutes but like most of Brad’s projects he does have an actual script/story that covers the time. Intentional or unintentional I enjoyed the beginning of the film as it felt like a montage to ‘Halloween 4’. But the film is about four friends heading out on Halloween to these so-called haunted fairgrounds to investigate. Its Halloween, soon as you see these sets or fairgrounds there is a lot of people that would love to check this shit out so even if it lingering a little in the beginning horror fans will understand because of the beauty of the sets. After entering a tent the four believed was empty they are introduced to a ringmaster who has three stories to tell. All three scary stories are solid, have a little gore, well-written, and a great cast. As the stories are being told the group quickly finds out the abandoned fairgrounds are not so abandoned. Thanks to Brad for tackling a tough subject “clown horror” and not falling into dumb ass shit like most filmmakers have and giving us horror fans another Indy anthology that we will be proud to show friends as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Censor (DVD) – Enid is a part of the British Censor Board in the early 80s help deciding what films get cut or downright rejected. Enid picks a part horror films constantly and now feeling even more pressure to just cut films completely her past comes back to start haunting her as Enid’s sister went missing when she was younger and never found. When the film ‘Deranged’ gets passed and public flack hits back at the censor board Enid cracks under pressure in this dream-state and goes down this wormhole of murder and mayhem! Her dark secrets are revealed about her sister in the end or were they as the film leaves it up to you the viewer what actually happened as I give this weird dreamy horror film 3 stars.

Midnight (Remake/DVD) – This Indy flick falls into the category of why? In 1982 John Russo actually made a good horror film and then made the mistake of allowing Gary Lee Vincent to update it. Now for the why: Why filmmakers do you wanna remake something that was actually good or considered good when there is so much crap out there aka “Blood Freak” that is worth remaking or at least attempting to remake? You are only setting yourself up for failure unless you have a perfect script… And in this case you didn’t have that! A young woman Nancy takes off from home after her stepfather tries to have sex with her. After a bunch of filler for the film Nancy runs into a family who kills in the name of Satan as their family believes blood gives them energy for their satanic powers. Sorry Gary I know you mean well and great friends with Russo but this was a terrible idea from beginning to end and a mistake as I give it a ½ out of 4 stars.

Bigfoot Blood Trap (DVD) – So 5 ½ minutes in and I knew I chose wrongly watching this trash as the set up for the film is creepy old dude in the woods filming two semi-ugly women in the woods who are awkwardly touching each other and then suddenly have a shotgun to shoot at Bigfoot! They take a few shots, and one of them kills Baby Bigfoot. Thank the lord Rutger Hauer I was drinking because that was the only way I was getting through this hot garbage. Meanwhile a young woman inherits the land that Bigfoot roams along with creepy old dudes with cell phones who film ugly women. Anyhow she heard the Bigfoot stories and just like most dumb white people she wants to find and capture Bigfoot. Well of course that is a terrible mistake! And next thing I know more than half of this piece of garbage is some fake doctor getting involved and using Bigfoot as an experiment to breed with human women that they kidnap. Problem with this experiment, Bigfoot hates tattoos! If this film wasn’t so poorly written and acted I would have laughed my ass off the whole time. But I just kept thinking there isn’t enough beer in my house to make me forget this mess as I give this film 0 stars.

Wyrmwood Apocalypse (On Demand) – Super disappointed with the first film as it promised “The Road Warrior meets Day of the Dead” and instead it gave me ‘meh’ so I still tried out the sequel because it’s me. Reese is a lone military man who has lived among the living dead for a long period of time and uses the zombies for fuel among other things for himself. When he isn’t doing that he captures zombies to report back to this underground bunker in hopes for a cure? One day he trips across a hybrid that he feels the bunker will definitely want for the cure. Problem arises when Reese truly doesn’t know what is going on in the underground bunker until he runs into the original hybrid. He goes AWOL and finds out he has been lied to the whole time about the cure and wants to destroy the bunker as he claims “they took his soul”. This film had much better story, pacing, interesting characters, and lots of splatter for the gorehounds as the sequel redeems the disappointment a few years ago as I give it 3 stars.

Hell Van (DVD) – Jorge Delarosa spent almost five years and $75000 putting this passion project together.  If there is anyone that is talented enough to tackle Satanic shit in independent films and not get lost a quarter of the way through, it would be the talented Jorge Delarosa. The setting is a small town called Midway, Texas where everyone knows everyone. After a suspect accused of church burnings burns a church full of kids goes on the run and commits suicide in his van bizarre events begin to happen. Anyone that approaches or is connected to this possessed van die a very horrible death and only Sheriff Redhorse can stop this madness! Mr. Delarosa doesn’t just make a typical possessed car film but tackled it to the ground with such force that the film comes off as Mr. Delarosa shows off how talented he is behind the camera in all forms. We have explosions, burning people, eyeballs being ripped out, zombies, interesting characters you care about, chaotic satanic images to help tell the story, and the music is just the icing on the cake (music is usually forgotten in Indy films not understanding it can enhance the viewing experience). If you didn’t know what I already knew you will after watching this satanic blessing of filmmaking that Mr. Delarosa is an independent filmmaking force that needs more attention. And his latest film is a wonderful blend of Satan, horror, and blood without losing its way of telling a story as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as ‘Hell Van’ will be a favorite among independent horror fans for years to come.  

The Puma Man (DVD) – The film stars Donald Pleasance in pleather controlling people with an ancient alien Aztec mask as a man named Tony Thorn comes along and is declared a god who will bring Pleasance and his pleather to his knees! But only if he puts on his Puma Man belt and turns into a generic version of ‘The Greatest American Hero’ William Katt. Super hilarious mess of a film as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #568

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The Oily Maniac (YouTube) – A Shaw Brothers mid-70s weirdness shot in Malaysia that is just a delightful cultish film for yinz all to enjoy. A young handicapped man copies a spell that was tattooed on a man’s back at the last request of said man. As he is sentenced to death he begs for the spell to be used. The young man struggles with this idea but eventually decides to use it against those who done wrong to his family. This spell turns the man into an indestructible slimy monster that knows martial arts at any point in time the young man dumps diesel or oil upon himself. This dirty hero kills rapists, unlicensed doctors, and random criminals who try to extort money from him as they learn his identity. This crazy monster flick is one of the oddest but hilarious films that I have ever had the pleasure of encountering especially when the monster gets real tired real quick after he has killed someone… This weird monster film is nowhere near perfect but will leave an impression on you unlike most films have before as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Midnight Offerings (VHS/YouTube) – This early 80s light-hearted horror film was a TV movie that stars Melissa Sue Anderson as Vivian who happens to be a full blown witch that uses her dark magic to get everything she wants in high school. Dave her boyfriend is having trouble knowing what Vivian is doing and wants no part of her or the powers. Then comes along Robin the new girl with a bit of a past and of course her and Dave hit it off which doesn’t make Vivian happy, Vivian soon figures out Robin isn’t just another high school girl she can push around with her dark magic. Dave’s friend tries to explain to Robin she is a powerful witch, that it is in her blood but unlike Vivian it comes to her naturally. This struggle between witches leads to a high school showdown between the two in this horror film for beginners as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doctor Sleep (DVD) – If you don’t know already I am not a fan of ‘The Shining’. Wanted to put that out there as some horror fans will die claiming that film is one their favorites of all time. Hey more power to you, I hated it, Stephen King hated it, I found it boring, and without Jack Nicholson it’s a different film? Anyway with that out of the way who would have guessed there would be a sequel? Wasn’t gonna give this film a chance but as usual I eventually did. This film picks up right after the events of the hotel decades ago showing Danny Torrance struggling with this so-called power “The Shining”. Decades later Danny is a tortured soul drunk who talking to his dead mentor figures out how to lock away these ghosts of the past that haunt him. He then finds himself in Frazier, New Hampshire working at a hospice finding purpose again? As he gets cleaned up, stable, Danny has a psychic pen pal never thinking much about it until now. After several years of this writing back and forth the teenager shows up to visit Doc/Danny to tell him about a group of people who are able to live forever because they fed on kids mostly who have “The Shining”. This power, their soul, whatever is able to sustain these people’s immortality. Doctor Sleep, a friend, and this powerful young girl figure out this group of people must be stopped before they take any more young lives that have this power. If anything that comes out of this sequel is that it actually makes sense out of the original film for me that I could never get into. I now see the original in a different light, but still do not like it but will give credit oddly to this sequel that explains the whole mythos behind “The Shining” and for that I give it much kudos for a film that I may have otherwise never gave a chance as I give ‘Doctor Sleep’ 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre VI: Bloodline (YouTube) – No way this was a remake of ‘Hellraiser IV’ but as usual flesh face himself Bubba, continues his murdering antics using his meathook to hack through new victims. It’s funny with the strange turn the series has taken as ‘Meathook Massacre’ has literally become one big ‘X-Files’ episode with the Meathook family as one big government experiment gone wrong. To me at least it took a cue from ‘Saw IV’ or changing the tone in the series by giving the middle finger to fans of previous installments and just making shit up? Fucked up but hey I still found it entertaining. But that is a whole other dumb ass conversation we do not need to get into right now as we get a plot this time around where two sisters recently found out they have family they never about? One sister of course is all for it, the other Kelly suspects something is amiss here? Kelly is super stressed about the whole thing and that includes the supposed “Big Feast Thing” that is going to happen. Then Kelly is contacted by a mystery man with info on her new family which doesn’t smooth things over and how the whole community around them is in on the act! For Kelly this info comes too late as Bubba and the clan does not like loose ends and they had a purpose of why they are here and now it’s time to disappear again as they have finally found what they been looking for… Oddly enough for me this sequel actually made some kind of sense but we are talking about someone who purposely watched 36 Amityville films in six weeks but again that is for another conversation as I give this 2 stars.

Carver’s Gate (DVD) – A 90s Michael Pare futuristic film that is also known as ‘Cyber Cop’ has a great weird opening with a naked Michael Pare and I thought I was going to be in for  real treat? Sadly it was a mere way too long mess that is a bad mixture of ‘Johnny Mnemonic’ and ‘Brainscan’. This mess has Pare as a “Dream Breaker” or police officer for the virtual reality world. The film has that post-apocalyptic feel but never really dives into that world that may have made this a much better feature? After the main game creator dies in VR space (cheese and crackers this is so 90s) the Dream Breaker must investigate as the line between reality and dream world is blurred. There was a good idea and some monsters in this holy mess might plain and simple this film was a mess from beginning to end as it gets 1 star for Pare’s naked ass!

The Dirty Hands Man (YouTube) – A short crime drama about a group of friends who are brutally murdered around a campfire. Detectives unsuccessfully try to connect dots with a supposed suspect of this horrible night as this sadistic act cannot be explained? I liked where the film goes but for me at least in the end it felt like there was not a true ending as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Jail Bait (DVD) – Decided to step out of my comfort zone and checked out an Ed Wood film but not one of the ones people know him for. This 1954 crime drama is about a criminal duo Vic Brady and Don George who had a great plan to stick up a theater and leave with a good chunk of change. Problem arises when Vic shoots the security guard and Don has decided he wants to turn himself in after a conversation with his father. Vic not too keen on this idea kidnaps Don and forces Don’s father, a plastic surgeon to change his face so him and his girl can escape the police. Cheesy, bad acting, but there is a certain charm to this flick and Ed Wood for that matter that maybe it’s time for Indy filmmakers remember to keep doing their thing as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Deadly Scavengers (DVD) – This S.O.V. flick is from 2000/2001 where Dr. Fielding has isolated himself and his daughter at a secret lab in the wilderness to create something terrible and hungry! Once this thing gets loose from the lab, communication is lost so a group of mercenaries is put together to investigate and possibly recover this project. This band of rejects or so-called mercenaries is terrible and that is just being nice but hey they take two days or 50 minutes of the film to go hiking through the woods. Or as I like to point out “filler” which gets way worse when they all start to have sex in their tents and going over old stories we never knew about? But nevermind that someone get that one mercenary a burger because her boney ass scared the shit out of me as I was waiting for her naked ass to break in half! “Oh hey mercs, there is only ten minutes left in the film? Can yinz please introduce the giant roach creature and find the isolated lab?” Not saying but just saying… This utter garbage is just that, garbage but I laughed so there is some value to that as I give it 1 star.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills (DVD) – It was time to rewatch Elvira’s second big screen feature that takes place in 1851 Carpathia. Here Elvira is an entertainer down on her luck of sorts until a gentleman gives her a ride to a castle that just happens to be haunted. If Elvira isn’t doing dance numbers, banging the make model, or cracking jokes she is trying to unravel the mystery of the person that died many years ago that looks exactly like her? This feature is fun but nowhere near “Mistress of the Dark” but still watchable as I give it 2 stars.

Bubba’s Dead: The Final Massacre (YouTube) – Dustin Ferguson returns one last time to give this series a proper burial… maybe? As Bubba and Aunties on the highway still going with their murderous ways they have seem to catch the eyes of not just authorities but the media which is not good for the meathook family. Now, with a few of the family left and Auntie and Bubba killing a F.B.I. agent, Bubba’s mother returns to set things right as they can just become a story again. Weirdly and to my surprise this series may have an odd but satisfying ending for those who choose to watch all these films in a row so kudos to Dustin and friends as I give the final installment 2 ½ stars.

Cyber Tracker 2 (VHS) – Don “The Dragon” Wilson is a federal agent Captain Philips who in the future has help from Cyber Tracker #9 who helps busting counterfeit money rings. But things get turned upside for Philips when his reporter wife walks into a major press conference and guns down a man with a huge shootout proceeding after it. Now Cyber Tracker #9 has been assigned to track her down as Philips investigates and finds info that a cyber-clone of her was used! An arms dealer has stolen the secretive Cyber Tracker Tech and plans on making an army of unstoppable androids for world domination. This isn’t another generic ‘Robocop’ flick as this B-action flick goes out of its way to have lots of explosions, shootouts, and a fun ending to the sequel as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Sword and The Sorcerer (Blu-ray) – If you are over the age of 40 and a fan of fantasy films you do remember this Albert Pyun gem that was released in the early 80s. For the love of Rutger Hauer people: It had a cool looking dude with three swords that shoot at people, Richard Moll as a demon, and Richard Lynch as an evil king! This fantasy film is a wonderful reminder there was other cool shit on film before we started really getting the big budget projects. But just recently a two-disc Blu-ray of the film has been released and it is packed with goodies of not just Pyun telling stories but several people who were involved. They cover everything from the tragic death of a stuntman to what the hell happen to that sequel we were promised to Pyun’s troubles as a first time director on a big time Hollywood project. So do yourself a favor fantasy film fans grab this new release and take a trip down memory lane of Talon and his three pronged sword facing off against a bad ass demon and hell Richard Lynch one the ultimate bad guys to be on film as I give it 4 stars.

Bio-Slime (DVD) – A briefcase holding a genetic mutation has been stolen from a government building for a trade off a mysterious man. Both die and a young woman drives home in a car soaked in blood looking for help from friends. The briefcase is brought in and opened by a drunk artist who is about to be booted from the building. The experiment comes to life and now is infecting the building and feeding upon the poor souls trapped inside with no escape unless this group of people can stay calm and thinks together? The creature or slime monster is great, the setting for this slimy monster and victims is awesome, and the script has fun with the characters that are introduced to us, excellent this what I like about low budget horror films that surprise you and this did as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #567

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Gross Movie Reviews #567

Terror of Disgusting Worms from Outer Space (YouTube) – An oddity S.O.V. film made in Germany … I believe? Anyway this mid-80s unknown no budget film introduce us to Mary and Larry who after a night of partying all night are ready to head home until they see something in the sky. Bored, the couple follows to where they believed it fell to Earth hoping to find a U.F.O. and find themselves at a burned out industrial area (which makes a great location for the film). Within minutes of arriving and investigating Larry is attacked by a ghoul and it’s not long before Mary is meeting the worm aliens! Lots of incoherent running around, bad effects, glad I was able to watch this as I give this oddity 1 ½ stars for the laughs.

Disgusting Space Worms Eat Everyone! (YouTube) – In 1989 apparently we got another or possible sequel (?) to the 1984 German film but I couldn’t confirm this? Anyhow this story has alien worms infecting a man’s drugs in Beverly Hills along with the alien worms constantly feasting on random people in their homes. Meanwhile there is literally some kind of nonsense plot of a private eye (Ray) who keeps crossing paths with a 80s fouled mouth young lady. Along with that incoherent nonsense we get a lot of scenes of characters running around as the aliens are there to exterminate the humans. The highlight of this whole mess is in order to defeat the worm aliens you must throw cocaine at them as the drug melts the alien ghouls. This is a weird mess of a film indeed folks but again glad I was able to watch it as it entertained me and made me laugh so for that I give it 2 stars. Also I forgot to mention there is a random giant Raid Spray Can!

Meathook Massacre IV (YouTube) – Robert Lankford returns as the Bubba character again and this entry tries to show a budget as they feature Indy film stars Drew Marvick and Brinke Stevens. Bubba is again on the move as a bunch of meathook murders of gotten the attention of authorities and local news. While on the road Bubba and mum have a small accident with a group of young people heading to Vegas for a birthday celebration. The celebration is quickly derailed when Bubba blames this group for the death of his Ma and gets some help from his extended family. Once the extended family is introduce the film becomes more about setting up the next film than telling a story of Bubba as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Checkered Flag or Crash (DVD) – Think ‘Cannonball Run’ but not as funny set in Manila? It is a 3-day, 1000 mile race for $50,000 to the winner and the rest of the 50 or 60 drivers split the other $50,000 and promoted by the stylish Larry Hagman. The race or movie centers on the feud of former friends Joe Don Baker and Alan Vint who use to be partners but now competitors and a reporter played by Susan Sarandon is covering it all. The film is full of stunts and car racing which is pretty much gold 70s film lovers. I liked it but didn’t love it because for me ‘Cannonball Run’ just never gets old but that is just me as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

The Cursed (DVD) – Most of the story takes place in the late 1800s where white people never learn and fuck with gypsys who had a claim before them on some farmland. Of course a lynch mob comes by and ruins all their lives but the dumb ass white people wanna know why weird evil shit starts happening to them and their kids? After all begin to have the same nightmare and a boy goes missing a pathologist John McBride comes in to investigate the missing child and quickly figures out he might be dealing with a sinister supernatural element here as no one wants to talk about what they did in order to illegally keep the land they claim. Feels like a werewolf flick but is something more, has some fun gore scenes, goes to great lengths to have that old school cursed European monster feel, but also again points out why dumb white people will never listen as I give this horror film 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre V: The Final Chapter (YouTube) – Before I even start this review you be warned there is two more sequels that come after this, more on that later… A survivor from 15 years ago Danielle Stokley has managed to move on with her name after the attack of Bubba while living under a different name. Meanwhile Bubba is still running around with a meathook in the middle of nowhere doing his thing. Danielle is tracked down by a mysterious man who also claims to be a survivor and drops some knowledge on Danielle talking about they were some government experiment with cross breeding that mutated! What I got out of that conversation was “INCEST”. The family full of killers travels from state to state to satisfy their carnal killing needs and to stay ahead of the authorities but that is about to change? So the movie really doesn’t end it basically sets up “To Be Continued…” without saying it on screen which begs the question: “How in the love of Rutger Hauer is this the Final Chapter?” Not saying but just saying… I honestly believe this is a logical question when a filmmaker is making a film that literally claims “The Final Chapter”. I am not trying to take a giant steamy morning grumpy on this film because I like where the film was going five installments in, but when you pull this dumb shit then you are just being a dick for no good reason. And do not give me the ‘Friday the 13th Part 4’ argument as I give this film zero stars for being misleading and not in a good way.

Sharks of the Corn (DVD) – Some strange shit is happening in the cornfields of Kentucky and part of it is sharks haunt a cornfield. Yes, you heard me right folks sharks haunt a cornfield and a serial killer who is obsessed with sharks believes the sharks are gods and makes sacrifices for the gods. Oh yeah there is a Bigfoot and a Bigfoot hunter running around during this whole mess as the killer believes he is fulfilling some kind of Blood Moon prophecy. With this going all on not totally sure there is a real reason the sharks are there in the cornfield other than it can spell the end of the world for all? There is a lot of filler of three ongoing movie plots here and feel if Tim Ritter would have just stuck with a parody of ‘Children of the Corn’ I think it would have been more entertaining and that is coming from a fan of Mr. Ritter’s. I will say this if there was one take away from this mess and what may have saved the film for me was the last minutes of the film made me laugh several times as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Maggots (DVD) – If I wasn’t hell bent enough on destroying my brain with Yuengling there is bad movies and this was downright unbearable at times. This 2017 film claiming it was made for $100,000 is set in Harlan County, a wooded country area where something comes crashing to Earth and unleashes mutant maggots that want humans to feast on. Fred Olen Ray I know you wrote the story for this but dude… please have some say in these projects? Of course Harlan County just happens to become a hotspot for tourists when giant bad green screened maggots are attacking! I would love to say this entertaining but even me, I felt like something was taken from me when watching this so-called film as I give it 0 stars. Sorry your jokes in the film fell horribly flat!

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood! (DVD) – Not expecting much from this C. Thomas Howell project, hell was awaiting for it to be downright insulting but instead I was surprised how much fun it unfolds in being. Once you get past the opening shootout between rival gangs and two cops the film steals its idea from ‘Night of the Comet’ and does a pretty good job its low budget it has? A strange solar flare wave hits Earth and those exposed to the radiation turn into zombies or vampires or something else according to the entertaining characters we have trapped inside the lead-walled medical facility. Understanding they must survive and put racial issues aside the gangs and white cop (C. Thomas Howell) must learn to adapt quickly as all cars do not work and the zombies are evolving. The characters were entertaining as hell for what looks like a low grade cheeseball flick at first glance and will surprise you how entertaining this film actually is? This horror film has its flaws but believe me horror fans this film does deserve your attention if you do not take the title too seriously. If you liked ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ you will like this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Exorcist Vengeance (On Demand) – They are trying to use Robert Bronzi aka Bootleg Bronson in every genre humanly possible and I love it. So grab the beer and donuts as Bootleg Bronson this time around stars as Father Jozsef (had to look up the correct spelling) who is called in to investigate unholy symbols. The Bishop is sent pictures of some unholy symbols on the floor of a donor of the church and believes there is exorcism that needs to be done so send in the big gun to investigate? Father Jozsef shows up to the home to investigate and do a typical exorcism but runs into obstacles because in order to finish what he started, he must unravel the mystery of the family itself which has set them on the path of the devil. Once the secret is out it is just this evil force vs. the good father himself who of course carries a gun because he is Bootleg Bronson and for that I give 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #566

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Gross Movie Reviews #566

Deadheading (DVD) – This recent release out of the U.K. should have been called “Dead on Arrival” as this was one of the worst films I have sat through in 2022. But anyhow kids Anna, a tired flight attendant that has the all high and mighty attitude hooks up with a hot dude in her hotel mess in London. You know how it goes: she’s married, better than everyone, how could anyone even think of another then after a couple of drinks and conversation they are bumping like bunnies! Problem, Anna wakes up in a pool of his blood and instead of calling police she decides how can I get rid of this body and go back to work? Most of the film is all about Anna trying to figure out how she is getting away with the murder… Ugh this was a borefest as I give it zip stars!

Killer Tattooist (Blu-ray) – This recent U.K. film is also known in some parts ‘Skinned’ and was a pleasant surprise about a serial killer. Nathan is a very professional tattoo artist who enjoys his work and loves to kill. Meanwhile a strung out cop named Eva is brought in by superiors to look into these nine women who have been murdered the past three months. What connects all of them is the females were recently tattooed or had appointments to be tattooed and Eva for being an utter mess of an officer does wonderful undercover work. Eva and Nathan meet up at a tattoo festival and the relationship quickly evolves from there. Eva unaware of Nathan’s extra circular activity soon becomes suspicious as she gets pressure from her superiors to bring him in for questioning. Surprisingly this film gives off a “Hannibal TV series” vibe that will suck you into what is Nathan going to do next? I would have loved to say this movie was perfect but the lazy ending in my opinion was what hurt it, but don’t let that turn you off from this solid horror film that I give 3 stars.

Zombie Shark (DVD) – Honestly, I thought I seen all the SyFy Channel shark films but apparently I am wrong and blame this on talented Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering as she always keeps me in the loop. But all seriousness folks this was bad! Four people head to Red Plum Island for a weekend of fun until they come across a supposedly dead shark on the beach. But it is undead and eats the hot dude that got them to the beach. Meanwhile, Sgt. Cage aka Jeremy London is trying to track down the undead experiment shark that has caused this big mess and he is carrying a rocket launcher. Usually I absolutely love watching these films but this seem to be bad all around. The only redeemable thing that came out of the film is the quote: “people on the island are going to be a zombie shark buffet”, outside of that no wonder this slipped under my radar as it gets zero stars.

Visions of Fear (DVD) – A collection of seven short films hosted by Tiffany Shepis in 2007 or 2008. 1st film – My Skin – An old creepy dude takes care of a husband’s business for him. 2nd film – Slumber – A reporter named Jason, starts working on a gruesome story that makes him to have horrible visions that are physically changing him. 3rd film – What Ever Happened to the Zombie Killers – Zombies are just trying to enjoy their drinking and dancing at their favorite nightclub until some Goth girls known as the “Zombie Killers” show up to be bathed in gore. 4th film – Callous Sentiment – A local park that sucks in the vulnerable with acts of violence. 5th film – Trick or Treat! – A young woman makes the mistake of allowing a trick or treater into her home who just wants candy but she doesn’t have any? 6th film – Hooligan’s Valley – An offbeat short where a clown and his Mexican wrestler partner go to rescue his girlfriend at a seedy nightclub. 7th and final shirt film – Scream for Me – This is an uncomfortable adventure into a man looking for a woman to scream for his pleasure but she refuses. But he has the tables turned on him but not in the manner you think happen? A fun collection of short films that many horror fans would enjoy but the sixth short film just doesn’t fit the vibe or the buildup (intentional or not) to the last short film introduced by the very talented Tiffany Shepis as I give the collection 3 stars.

Escape from Deathblock 13 (DVD) – If it isn’t ‘massacre’ films, post-apocalyptic flicks, or Amityville movies you know I love me some Bootleg Chuck Bronson films! Robert Bronzi aka fake Charles Bronson plays Mick Kovacs who shows up at a recycling warehouse demanding his brother’s death benefit payment. After a scuffle Bootleg Chuck Bronson gets arrested and is given an opportunity to work the inside for the police but chooses not to for now because he believes he is innocent. Now sitting in prison to rot bootleg Bronson aka Mick is forced to make friends and act in some bad prison scenes. But Mick accidentally comes across some evidence to connect the warden, the prison, and the recycling warehouse all in a drug smuggling ring and he wants out. So some inmates gather to help Mick out by starting a riot so he can escape through the legendary tunnels under the old ass prison so he can go get his revenge and then be offered a job by the U.S. government! Yes it is an action movie mess but I cannot get enough of Bootleg Bronson as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Game of Death (DVD) – Here is a horror movie I thought I would see more people talk about? A group of young people hanging by the pool one day doing the usual: drugs, drinking, getting sexed up, AND NO ONE ON A CELL PHONE (no kidding on that last part, maybe that is why this horror film got buried? Reality check people). While let’s just say a young lady is enjoying her boyfriend as he has a good meal she sees a board game called “Game of Death”. To play the rules are simple: Kill or be killed… so of course they play. Now they either need to kill each other, 24 other people, or watch their heads explode because they refuse to participate and they could win… maybe? Weird, gory, keeps it simple, just surprised not hearing horror fans enjoying this as I believe it is worth at least one watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien from the Deep (DVD) – An Eye-talian/Philippines flick from 1989 starring Charles Napier as a hard ass military dude who has taken over a radioactivity dumping operation on an unknown island. Two Greenpeace people show up to look into the illegal dumping by the power plant only to their horror to find they are just throwing the radioactivity into a volcano. The Greenpeace people sneak into the facility and videotape all the dirty secrets but then it gets a little wacky for all involved when an alien drops by because its attracted to all the toxic waste. The alien is able to burn humans with its touch and seems to indestructible unless you got some random hydrogen flame thrower to burn the large lobster clawed thing! It’s terrible, it’s cheesy, and I know I will watch it again at some point in my life as I give it 2 stars.

Fangboner (Blu-ray) – Written and directed by Nathan (Amityville Vibrator) Rumler for a Rock Bottom Video Production so you are well warned what you are about to get into and if anything you will laugh a lot. After a night of blackout drinking and unprotected sex something is wrong with Dick? Dick has never felt like shit this much before but that doesn’t stop him from visiting his next hook up with the girl he cannot remember her name (Suzy by the way but not that important). The problem reveals itself before and after Dick hooks up with Suzy as Dick’s prior hook up is an alien that bit his dick! Dick convinces Suzy that it must be a form of vampirism that will make them thirst for blood, sex, and uncomfortable conversations in the woods. While they try plan their feedings, weird sex blood sucking rituals, the alien must retrieve the couple and end their lives before they infect the whole human race. The movie is hilariously uncomfortable and I enjoyed it all. ‘Fangboner’ has its flaws, but for no budget and just a cool crew of people having fun makes this one of those flicks you need a room full of friends, beer, and some pizza as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #565

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Gross Movie Reviews #565

Amityville: The Final Chapter (DVD) – Just like ‘Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter’ this franchise lied to us big time and try to hide it by marketing this film under a different title ‘Sickle’. Over the years the title has been changed back and forth but it is entry #36 so what were you expecting? Anyway kids, this story has a 27 year old known as “The Babysitter Killer” getting released from prison after 15 years. Michael a kid at the time claimed he was visited by a creature in a top hat that made him kill his babysitter when he was 12. Now adult, some ghost hunters cross paths with the newly released man and believe it is a great idea to take Michael back to the house where it all happened? Of course this causes the demonic force known as “Sickle” to reappear and ruin everyone’s day or night… its fucking ghost hunting does it matter at this point? This hot piece of garbage is high on the Amityville list of almost unwatchable as I give this entry 0 stars enjoy kids.

The Monster of Piedras Blancas (DVD) – Say that title five times fast, anyway before I review this: quick question: is the lighthouse location in this 1959 film the same as the one in “John Carpenter’s The Fog”? Back to your regularly scheduled review, two brothers are found dead near the lighthouse after going night fishing the night before. The deaths look suspicious and of course there is a small town legend of a monster that has lived along the rocks of the ocean. The old man who lives next to the lighthouse knows the truth and has fed the monster meat scraps from the town market for some time now. But the monster hungers more as it enjoys ripping human heads off and sucking the blood out of their neck. Can the monster be stopped? Is there more than one in the caves off this coastal town? A fun drive-in flick that I am surprised I never got the chance to see on Chilly Billy or something when growing up as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alligator (Blu-ray) – You all have seen or heard of this movie by now where a baby alligator is thrown the toilet and years later its living in the sewers feeding on dead animals and such. Now it’s up to Robert Forster to get people to believe him a giant alligator is gonna eat everybody in the city. The 1980 film is cheesy fun but now finally has gotten the special Blu-ray treatment it has deserved for a long time. We get a new 4K scan of the original negative for not only the theatrical but the TV version of the movie and it looks just amazing as when the alligator coming up through the sidewalk looks hilariously cheesy. I mean honestly for years most of the film was grainy and hid the glorious scene well. We get tons of interviews, commentaries, lots of fun stuff in this 3-disc version you never knew you needed until it existed as I give it 4 stars.

Alligator II: The Mutation (Blu-ray) – Almost a decade later we get a fun cheeseball sequel with no Robert Forster but an all-star cast that makes this sequel much more interesting than it ever should have been? This time around a baby alligator is fed a steady diet of hormones and other chemicals from the Future Chemicals Corporation and we get another giant alligator that is going to attack a city festival where Steve Railsback plays an asshole trying to buy up everyone’s property. Richard Lynch and Kane Hodder steal the show as “gator hunters”. This sequel is dislike by some horror fans, for me it has always a weird fun appeal to me and makes all the right sense in the world to pick this new version up as it also has some fun interviews that make the film worth the watch all over again as I give it 3 ½ stars. Which by the way did you know this film was made for TV not the theater or direct-to-video, weird stuff?

Aquaslash (DVD) – A Canadian horror/comedy where some high school graduates are partying at a waterpark for the weekend. Of course most of the movie has a lot of graduates making out and getting told a story of a killer who murdered a bunch of people at the park in the 80s. The movie for its short running time takes a while to set up things but there is a huge gory payoff as a mysterious killer rigs up something in one of the water slides! The horror movie isn’t horrible but feels like there isn’t much rewatchablity to it as I give this horror feature 2 stars.

The Mask (Blu-ray) – A wild 1961 film has Dr. Allan Barnes trying to help a patient named Michael from going completely insane. Up until recently Michael was well respected and working at the local museum but has become consumed with a tribal/ritual mask of sorts that has Michael believing he is now cursed. After Michael’s last appointment he rushes out of the office to go home to commit suicide but before he does he mails the mask to the good doctor challenging him to see the nightmares. Dr. Barnes curious about the mask puts it for research in what driven a person to the brink and becomes consumed with the death and weird ritual things that happen when putting the mask on. Barnes quickly becomes obsessed with the mask and even convinces his mentor to help him with the experiment of learning what makes this mask unique? A fun bizarre version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that can be seen in 2-D and 3-D with “Electro-magic sound” in this new restored version. The package also includes a short documentary and other short films that make this a must have for old school film fans as I give it 3 stars.

Killer Party (Blu-ray) – Now that we have fought through the Warner Brother DVD-R Archive crap that went on with this 80s slasher film we meaning a small but crazy fan base get a special edition version of ‘Killer Party’. A horror film from 1986 that is considered second tier slasher to some horror fans but one of my favorites growing up is all about three girls just trying to pledge to a sorority that is interrupted by a demonic presence. This pure 80s horror flick has a lot of fun new interviews that makes us physical media nerds jump for joy to have as I give it 3 stars.

Special Effects (VHS) – After Andrea and her husband Keefe have a fight about going back to Oklahoma, Andrea runs out on her man. Backstory, Andrea left him after having her baby and decided to chase a career in acting, modeling, etc., in New York City. While on the run and picking up a newspaper she finds herself on the doorstep of a famous filmmaker named Neville. Neville has just bombed out of Hollywood and lets in Andrea on whim. One thing leads to another and Neville is murdering her on his bed while filming it. Chris Neville cleans it all up and dumps the body so the husband is blamed. The husband breaks out police custody to visit Neville and this inspires the filmmaker to make a low budget film about realtime murder he committed! Neville gets so involved with the project he bails out the husband, makes the one police officer a technical adviser, and believes this is his way back to Hollywood as everything has to look a certain way as Neville relives the fantasy murder. For me this was a very bizarre Larry Cohen film to watch but glad as hell I did as I give it 3 stars.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (Blu-ray) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past few decades but can’t be duplicated. A woman (Christina Lindberg) who is raped as a young girl is now grown but mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up, hooked on heroin, and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and weirdly enough apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as hell as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! Thanks to Synapse Films this brutal film or package is going to make physical media fans drool like crazy as they have included an uncut and uncensored HD version with several subtitle and soundtrack options, rare photos and outtakes, alternate fight scene, and rare photos of a fight scene that was ruined by a film lab. If you only have seen the ‘They Call Her One Eye’ version you better be prepared for some of the graphic material in this restored film as his will not be for all audiences. Hell the movie was never made for all audiences but I am sure this package will make a lot of “Best of” lists at the end of the year as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. www.synapse-films.com

The Dungeonmaster (DVD) – Its 1984 and Paul is the IT guy who knows how to fix all computer problems as he is hooked up to his computer “CAL”. One night after a fight with his girlfriend Gwen, Paul and Gwen get sucked into purgatory or hell for Paul to conquer seven challenges in fantasy land in order for the couple to live and go back home. David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Charles Band, and Richard Moll as Satan, evil wizard, whatever you wanna call him… I will always be in to watch this crazy mess! Another fun Empire Pictures project that is just fun to pop in every five years or so and makes a little sense if double feature it with ‘Metalstorm’ that I give 3 stars.

They See You (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with three teenage boys heading into town to check out a unique/oddities shop. There is a spirit board with what looks like Halloween symbols on it that catches their attention but they are told that it isn’t for sale. Mainly the spirit board is not for sale because it’s cursed but this only intrigue the boys as with help from a couple girls they know from school they steal it along with an old book. They all head out the woods to have some fun with it, they all touch the spirit board, say some words from the old book, and it activates. Unleashing a gang of demons, undead creatures on Halloween that just don’t want to consume them but take control of the spirit board and book to stay in this world. Think of a slick independent gory film with a ‘Witchboard’ and ‘Beyond the Gates’ vibe to it. The movie has its flaws but overall Tory Jones and Jonestown Films put together a solid horror film well worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Robo C.H.I.C. (VHS) – First let’s get the alternate titles out of the way: aka Cyber-C.H.I.C. aka Robochic aka Thunder Tronic starring Burt Ward! Anyhow, a wacky doctor puts together a crime fighting fembot (remember kids its 1990). Along the way when the fembot isn’t training we have a mad bomber who is trying to keep the city hostage as he plants bombs everywhere. It is up to the futuristic fembot to find the people who kidnap the mad bomber and stop the bombs from going off in this supposedly intentionally funny film but fails. This movie is a part of a sub-genre that seem to show on “Up All Night” with Rhonda Shear between 1987-1992 or what you could call: The Killer Tomato sequel years? Anyhow give this terrible garbage 0 stars.

Kill-Cam (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and The Sleaze Box crew reach deep into the sleaze void to pull out a story of Samantha Styles. Ms. Styles (Katie Mckinley) is obsessed with a model Pamela Keaton that makes her drool and want to meet her but Samantha also just happens to be a sex-crazed serial killer with a super shitty past! This slow burn into the dark void of Samantha has her getting advice from a doll, stalking her ex hookup, enjoying her murderous desires until see can come up with a way to meet her obsession. Folks you are in for a rough one here as this is not for the faint of heart but I believe this will find an audience craving more with Katie McKinley’s performance as a sick and horny serial killer. As I say with projects like this: “this isn’t my cup of tea” but I can easily see this project being talked about among independent film fans for the next several years because of its content as I give the film 2 ½ stars just for Katie Mckinley performance standing out in this feature.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #564

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Gross Movie Reviews #564

Valley of Carnage (YouTube) – A newer S.O.V. short film from a new production team called Dungeon Entertainment. The short concerns a husband of an old married couple who loses his shit. He bashes his wife’s skull in and then goes about his way to brutally slay his co-workers. This short film made me laugh my balls off and if interested go check out their YouTube channel as it’s well worth your time if you are a S.O.V. fan as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Deathhike (YouTube) – Another S.O.V. short from the Dungeon Entertainment gang where a group of four people decide to go hiking but they do believe their friend Cyle with a C instead of a K is a complete dick. Of course you cannot hike unless you smoke weed laced with angel dust for the hike. While under the influence the group begins to be stalked by a chubby dude in a fake welders mask. A fun premise for the S.O.V. genre that I feel they execute as well as it could have been as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

From Hell and Back (DVD) – First time writer/director/ producer Joshua Loscar takes a stab at making an independent film that involves drug dealers and a love story. A new drug K-10 has just hit the streets and a big drug lord which just happens to be Judge Rockwell wants some loose ends tied up. Meanwhile past lovers Terry and Dana get pulled into this kingpin’s world at different spectrums of his world and for different reasons only to find each other again. For a first stab at a project and not being in the horror genre I got to give Mr. Loscar kudos for giving it the old college try as it can be tough outside of the horror genre. To summarize the film simply I would say Joshua’s heart is in the right place with this independent production but the pacing is all wrong. You live and learn but if anything Mr. Loscar has me intrigue with what he does next as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars. If anything if Joshua is still interested in doing Indy projects outside of horror his best bet would be checking out some of the work from the talented Jared Bajoras of Churchill Pictures. I believe Jared’s work outside of horror speaks for itself.

The Amityville Moon (DVD) – Entry #29 apparently has werewolves showing up in Amityville, New York… We get a troubled detective looking into two young women missing from a halfway house where we all know the clergy have secrets. Their big secret is Sister Francis sleeping supposedly in the basement bedroom hooked up to blood bags to keep her satisfied. But it is a werewolf movie and nothing satisfies a good werewolf except humans so Sister Francis goes walkabout from time to time and her meals seem to be girls who disappear from this halfway house from time to time. Plain and simple though kids if your werewolf looks like shit it always equal bad movie unless you really are playing it for laughs. So let’s review kids: bad werewolf, bad movie, simple as I give this lackluster entry 1 star.

The Werewolf of Woodstock (YouTube) – This 1975 TV movie has a farmer going out during a storm only to have a freak accident with lightening. Apparently lightening changes you into a werewolf and every night Bert rip off his bandages and roam the farmland looking for victims. Once authorities figure out it is Bert they use rock music to lure the farmer out to trap him but the werewolf farmer is slick and steals a dune buggy to escape. This film is absolutely terrible but in such a fun way as I give it 2 ½ stars just for the laughs.

The Amityville Cult (DVD) – Entry #30 has a young man named Stan DeFeo inheriting his grandmother’s estate in Amityville… Wait WTF? What yinz kids doing here, come on. Anyhow a Thomas Davenport tracks down Stan to explain the inheritance. Once Stan arrives he becomes engrossed with his grandmother’s diary explaining her slutty ways in the 60s and how she fell in with some satanic friends. These Satanists supposedly control the community because they established their cult in the 60s if anything this super dull film will help you get some sleep as I give this boring ass film about Stan’s grandmother being a whore a ½ star. If interested you might find the film under the title ‘Birthright: An Amityville Horror’.

Amityville Vampire (DVD) – Surprise! Entry #31 has vampires… again. Also has the hilarious quote from a character, “I only came out here because you looked like a K-mart Ryan Reynolds”. The film is also known as ‘Red Moon Lake’ as a cleaning crew at the Amityville home in the middle of the woods disturbs the evil force. This demonic force possesses one of the crew and heads out into Red Moon Lake’s woods. Anyhow to give the movie a whole lot of filler a lovely couple is driving to Red Moon Lake for the weekend and keeps each other company discussing the vampire legend. There is a couple cool gore effects but movie is super boring at times especially when there is some of the most monotone acting you’ll ever see any movie as I give it a ½ star.         

Amityville Scarecrow (DVD) – Entry #32 is set in the U.K. where the Amityville land is a cornfield where a trailer park sits and corn has really never grown because the land was cursed! So siblings’ mother dies and they argue over what should be done with the cursed land such as rebuilding on it? Meanwhile their dead mum forgot to mention her and a few others went all Freddy Kruger backstory on a dude after some girls went missing years ago. Now there is an evil scarecrow that fucks up people who stay there at the generic trailer park. Just another dumb and terrible entry into the Amityville series that literally has the two other titles “Amityville Cornfield” and “Scarecrow’s Camp”. If that wasn’t enough brace yourself there is a sequel in the works as I give this entry zero stars.

Amityville Uprising (DVD) – Entry #33 has the small town of Amityville suffer a terrible explosion at the local military base that is causing a toxic storm of acid rain above the small town. For the most part the locals are calm until supernatural things begin to happen to residents turning them into demonic things that must attack the Amityville police station. Those inside of the station must fight for their lives cause there is… zombies man! Yinz really need to stop the madness of making these subpar entries as this gets 0 stars for zero thought.

Viva Knievel (DVD) – An all-star cast along with Evel Knievel who is just trying to entertain the world. But there is a bad ass sports agent that recruits a young friend of Evel to lure him for a lucrative bike jump in Mexico. The plan is get Evel there, he dies doing the bike jump, the sports agent loads up a truck that looks like part of the Evel’s convoy with drugs and bring them over the border with Evel’s dead body? With the help of Jessie, a reporter, and an old friend Evel the crazy stunt driver he is stops the elaborate scam to get drugs over the border. If you remember Evel Knievel but not the movie do yourself a favor and carve out 90 minutes for this fun motorcycle ride down memory lane as I give it 3 stars.

Amityville in the Hood (DVD) – Entry #34 is from Dustin Ferguson again as he tries to tie “Toybox” and “Clownhouse” into this entry into the series as it takes place three years later. A couple guys break into the infamous 112 Ocean Ave. to steal the enormous stash of weed. Meanwhile back in Compton, Big M is not happy someone has stolen his ultimate product called “Amityville Possession”. The weed is possessed causing those who take part into it to become demons. An Amityville police officer contacts a police officer in Compton to get evidence of the weed being spread there so he can have a search warrant to bring down the operation in Amityville. Problem the officer is plagued by the cursed objects and has a history with the infamous Amityville home. Will this stop him from stopping the Compton craziness as all are turning into demons? I loved the ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ vibe to the film that Dustin had but felt the premise wasn’t seen to completion? Either way this entry was entertaining enough that I wouldn’t mind seeing more of it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Witches (DVD) – Entry #35 has a couple similar titles, info, and different release years according some websites on the Google machine making it confusing and understanding at the same time why it is so hard to track some of these entries down. In some countries right now it can be found as ‘Amityville Academy’. Our story begins with a couple women being hung in 1602 for their beliefs. We flash forward to present day where two guys burglarize a home but are confronted by three witches who pleasantly get rid of them without a fuss. Thus this setting up a storyline where two covens are battling each other and a young woman named Jessica is stuck in the middle as she is the key for both. The film feels like a mash-up of the low budget series ‘Witchhouse’ with the 90s version of ‘The Craft’ and feel it would most likely stand up better without Amityville in the title. Now the film isn’t my cup of tea as I am not a huge fan of horror films with witches but this was a pleasant surprise 30 some entries in and believe this film has yet to find its audience as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #563

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Gross Movie Reviews #563

The Amityville Terror (DVD) – So entry #16 literally stars no one as a family moves into the haunted Amityville home with a relative. It doesn’t take long before things get weird as the cool sister Shae is possessed by the evil presence in the house but nevermind that as it’s more important for Hailey her niece to fit in at school? As no one is paying attention it becomes clear Hailey must figure out what is going on with this old house before the evil landlord sacrifices them for the greater good of the community. The effects are bad, the story is lazy, and once again somehow the house is able to control stuff away from the home, but don’t let that get in the way of watching this terrible film as I give it a ½ star.

Spine of Night (Shudder) – A pretty cool animated film that fans of such flicks ‘Fire and Ice’, ‘Heavy Metal’, and ‘Wizards’ will really dig! This violent fantasy film features witches, book burnings, great voiceover work, and an ultimate evil that believes he is an untouchable god. A select few take on an adventure that is all guaranteed a one-way ticket to death to stop a god who tries to protect the bloom that gives him his powers, plus we get a witch who returns from the dead to wage war.  All that and a bad ass ending make me give this throwback 3 stars.

The Amityville Exorcism (DVD) – Well Polonia Brothers Entertainment return for entry #17  as they return to Amityville, New York, to try to bring you a scary tale of horror. This time around you will almost laugh your ass right off your body as the demonic force of Amityville has taken over construction materials. The old possessed haunted home is up to its old tricks again as it possesses the contractor and his materials causing him to kill his family. Now that the materials have been used on another home it has infected that home and causing a family and a priest to deal with unspeakable evil. This very well could have been in the running for worst entry of the series if I wasn’t still laughing from the set-up of possessed construction materials as I give it 1 ½ stars for entertaining me for the wrong reasons.

Amityville: Vanishing Point (DVD) – 2016s independent production aka entry #18 is far and beyond the worst entry in the series but we will get to that in a minute. A woman dies in a boardinghouse (yes, a piece of cardboard hanging from someone’s porch written in sharpie “Boardinghouse”) which honest question do those still exist or was this some weird take on that S.O.V. flick from the early 80s of the same name? Anyhow it’s hard to follow but a weirdo attempt at a detective looks into the matter and its occupants as it is believed the boardinghouse itself maybe trying to murder people. I believe this is the first entry in the series that completely distances itself from the original Amityville movie or events? But there is a mention of this unnamed creepy ass town without saying “Amityville”, so I will let you make that determination if you can ever track down a copy of this film. Tracking it down wasn’t easy but can be done?  This cobbled mess features a cameo from Lloyd Kaufmann, a horrible strip tease, a possessed penis, a possible possessed Keith Hernandez baseball card, and rape for no reason. Now saying all that the sad part is it’s hard to give this entry a fair watch because the sound and editing are so bad and so off the movie/DVD was pulled from everything (streaming/DVD copies)! To top it off the so-called filmmakers never fixed it. So no matter what I watch from here on out the Amityville series cannot be any worse than this poor excuse that in reality calling it a film would be an actual compliment as it gets ZERO stars.   

Amityville Toybox (DVD) – Dustin Ferguson takes a shot of interjecting some life into the series with entry #19 or also known as ‘The Amityville Legacy’ almost 40 years after the original. During a 50th birthday party a gentleman is given an old school musical chimp toy as a present that just so happens to be cursed. It is cursed, because it was there when the original murders occurred. Enjoying or adoring his childhood nostalgia in the toy Mark quickly becomes possessed which causes him to turn on the family. If the chimp wasn’t enough the Amityville fly makes an appearance in sound mostly to annoy possible victims. I’ll give Dustin credit for trying something a little different but just like part four of this series it comes off as a lost episode of the ‘Friday the 13th’ TV series where the monkey needs returned to “Curious Goods” as I give the film 2 stars.

Amityville Clownhouse (DVD) – Entry #20 aka ‘Amityville: Evil Never Dies’ continues the storyline of “Toybox” with the cursed toy chimp going to a cute couple who picks it up at a so-called junk store. But we are introduced to a clown painting and a killer clown for a few scenes that seem to have no relevance to the overall story as the focus is still on the cursed musical chimp infecting another family. Once the demonic force has done its damage the junk store owner comes in for the cleanup and resale of the item. Not a terrible entry into the series but feels like it should have been just jammed in the mix with the last film to make one story but that is just my opinion as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville Prison (DVD) – Entry #21 from 2017 is completely and truly Amityville free as its other title is ‘Against the Night’ as the Amityville tag was placed on the feature for unknown reasons (or at least when I was looking it could not find a real reason). Anyway, a young filmmaker and friends get the bright idea to go do some ghost hunting at the local abandoned prison. This folks is never a good idea but moving on the filmmaker believes it would be a wonderful idea to get shots of his friends scared until real paranormal shit seems to be happening and cannot be explained. Quickly the group dwindles being killed off one by one by a figure in a Harry Warden-style respirator mask. A couple of small twists makes this a pleasant surprise for the series even though it is by title only and explains to the young kids why it isn’t ever a good idea of running around a dark, abandoned prison as I give this film 3 stars.

Amityville: Mt. Misery Road (DVD) – Entry #22 goes full steam ahead with the story of Native Americans selling cursed land in New York to dumb white people back in the 1650s or something to that effect. Since then this stretch of land has had legendary strange occurrences and considered to be one of the most haunted roads in America. A Florida couple (or what I like to call douchebag and his fake stripper wife aka employee) are intrigue by the haunted area and choose to travel to upstate New York to investigate. Besides complaining they are cold and getting an old dude to tell boring stories they use the last 35 minutes of the film to do a poor reenactment of ‘The Blair Witch Project’. Okay, the ‘Vanishing Point’ entry has a sort of an out with never fixing the sound or editing but this entry is just downright shameful and gives a bad name to actual independent filmmakers who actually bust their ass to put together an actual production. Honestly there are several filmmakers out there that make some of the best horror films in recent years and they cannot find distribution but this piece of shit or so-called movie starring douchebag gets put out there for the masses… There is your answer in what is wrong with movie companies and their standards. Next time do everyone on this earth a favor and flush this dumb shit down the toilet. As I give this NOTHING I hope the company that put this entry out there for a moron like me to find goes bankrupt! Be warned this might be the first film you ever watch that might make you visibly angry to others that it exists?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Netflix) – Are all the horror movie fans done losing their F’N minds? Stop it, just like the Friday the 13th films isn’t this eight or nine? What in the Rutger Hauer are you expecting? Also this newest entry bit hard on the new ‘Halloween’. Now, with that out of the way kids this was a violent fun horror movie with some crazy old dude that lives in an abandoned town with a woman who looks after him. Once she dies from the shock of some young people taking her home and has you wanting them to die horribly immediately when their characters are introduced we get this weirdo wearing a dead woman’s face acting like Leatherface… Meanwhile, Sally has been holding a grudge for 50 years and has returned to get her revenge for her friends from the original film. Honestly horror fans put your shit aside and go watch this film with an open mind and not calling it ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’. Sounds like an argument I made for the ‘Dawn of the Dead’ remake some years back but whatever point is I just laugh yinz decided three remakes and how many sequels later you are finally outraged? Guess what if you hated 2013s entry then you are definitely not allowed to like this one but that is a whole other conversation. Anyway horror fans calm your asses down and go watch this violent lunatic chainsaw through a bus full of idoits as the film gets done quick with an 83 minute running time as I give it 3 stars.

The Amityville Murders (DVD) – So apparently for the 23rd entry in case you never heard of the DeFeo murders which started this whole mess or the countless documentaries about the original film and book and what influenced them you get a prequel. For the most part it goes through everything we have already heard or learned about over the years just with a couple big names in Diane Franklin and Burt Young. The film clearly has a budget and not terrible, it is just everything most people over the age of 30 know about. So if you are a newer horror fan? Or maybe you are a teenage horror fan that has been curious about the Amityville legacy? This might be a good starting point for you? Not what I was expecting 23 entries in as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville Cop (DVD) – So entry #25 comes in at a brisk 68 minutes concerning a couple of detectives, a captain with something to hide 20 years ago, a cop being sacrificed, and it happens to take place on New Year’s Eve. Imagine ‘Maniac Cop’ got shoehorned into a cop comedy and was watchable? Hard to imagine but it actually was watchable as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Amityville Harvest (DVD) – Took it long enough to do something stupid… again but entry #27 comes up with a vampire story. A documentary crew heads to an old funeral home for a project that concerns liquor during the civil war or something? They all get something more than they bargain for as the caretaker Mr. Vincent Miller explains the real story about the Lincoln assassination and then begins to slowly feed on the crew. Try to ignore the weird and creepy close ups of Mr. Miller during their documentary project part of the film it will just annoy you as I give the film 1 star.

Bigfoot’s Bride (DVD) – First time independent director Erick Wofford really tries to do something different with the Bigfoot legend but fails miserably. Basic premise of this film is Bigfoot aka ‘Wrong Turn’ extra aka a bad looking twin of Jason in Friday part seven aka or my favorite term for him “GENERIC BIGFOOT” who also is wearing overalls, hates messy dudes, and enjoys drinking a hot babe’s urine. Yes, kids that is the whole film! Yikes, I couldn’t stop laughing how terrible this was as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks do the Robert Ginty episode!

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This week we gather once again to talk about genre movies.  But this time we bring back our good, good friend Jon Cross of the After Movie Diner to talk about 3 Robert Ginty flicks and one episode of Murder She Wrote that he was in.  First let the incest fly as Robert Ginty and his sister (or at least her face) is after a giant diamond in WHITE FIRE.  Then as embarrassing as it is Kyle covers THE EXTERMINATOR as he watches it for the first time.  And then we have an episode of Murder She Wrote with Ginty and show favorite Stephen Macht from season 8 of the series.  And Lastly Ginty teams up with Cynthia Rothrock to kick ass in LADY DRAGON. Along with all this we read the news, and take your listener questions… but mostly we talk about how awesome it was that time Donald Pleasence chainsawed the entire bar in half in Race for the Yankee Zephyr.  So download this episode or your local bar may be next!!!  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #562

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Gross Movie Reviews #562

Vertigo (DVD) – This Hitchcock film from 1958 is debated among many movie fans on how high it actually ranks among Hitchcock’s classics as it has a couple twists to it? Jimmy Stewart is a retired detective after he had an incident while chasing a criminal on rooftops. John has trouble with overcoming this fear so believes he should stay retired until a rich friend of his wants John to follow his wife for a bit of an unusual reason. John’s rich friend comes up with a whole possession of a past relative is the reason but that doesn’t stop John falling in love with her and trying to help her. The twist comes when she commits suicide and John cannot take the shock but a year later finds himself seeing her again… alive. More to the plot than I am leading on and there are a lot of things that can be pulled from this movie to debate on if you look closer? To me at least it is an interesting film but maybe not the best from Hitchcock as I give this debated classic 2 ½ stars.

Lethal Games (VHS) – A little known b-movie action flick from 1991 that stars Frank Stallone in a tale of vengeance. A new construction company pops into town to corrupt the cops and hire two goons to run people off their property. But after a couple of women have been wronged by the goons they team up with Sly’s brother to fight back and regain their community. Not a whole lot to be excited about except for a dude getting blown to bits by a rocket launcher in the last 5 minutes as I give it 1 star.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – This 1979 film was based on the book that was written about the experience of the Lutz family had in the infamous haunted house where they only lived there for a few weeks before moving. The new family supposedly moved into a house that was the sight of a mass murder and experience lots of paranormal activity that gained worldwide attention. As a kid this movie scared the holy crappola out of everyone but as the years have passed it’s been proven a hoax. As the years go on and rewatch after rewatch the shine on this horror film as dulled. Once a classic, now I believe doesn’t hold a candle to stuff like: The Exorcist and The Omen of the same era as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD/remake) – I will be the first to admit I was surprised this film was getting an update in 2005 along with starring Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz. This film goes with more of the possession of George along with the usual paranormal bullcrap but you do get to see a very mean side of Mr. Reynolds as George Lutz that is kind of unsuspected but cool. In the end some horror fans love this version but I find it forgettable more than anything as I gave it another chance and it still didn’t do anything for me as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Baby Oopsie (Tubi) – So Charles Band has decided to dip into the less popular ‘Demonic Toys’ pool and let William Butler hopefully work his magic once again with an ultra-low budget even for Full Moon. But Butler comes out swinging as we are introduced to Sybil, a shy chubby woman who is a doll collector and has an internet show about dolls. When Sybil isn’t being picked on constantly by co-workers or mom she receives unexpectingly a package that contains “Baby Oopsie’s” head. After she fixes it up and has it on her show Baby Oopsie decides it is time to seek revenge on those who have wronged Sybil. It seems like the right thing to happen until Sybil struggles with trying to control her new doll and what damage it can actually do! Super surprised how entertaining this new Full Moon film was but with saying that this project didn’t need to be split into two parts but that s for another conversation as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Asylum (DVD) – So by some chance you are a complete crazy person like me and keeping track: this is entry #11! Okay folks two minutes in they are trying to connect to the original slayings in 1974. How you ask? Well apparently Lisa is a young woman who badly needs a job and just got hired by an asylum as a janitor. Things are good until Lisa begins seeing dead people throughout the night while working but oh yeah some shithead built an asylum on top of 112 Ocean Ave. If that wasn’t enough story for you 11 entries in, Lisa is a patient and she is a part of the Dark Master’s plan? So begin your WTF is this series doing as this cheap entry was shot in the U.K. but sloppily tries to make you think it’s Amityville, New York as I give this a ½ star.

Bingo Hell (DVD) – Welcome to Oak Springs where the seniors of the community love their little dying community as they try to rage against the hipsters and the inevitable rebuilding. These seniors do their best to help each other out throughout the community until a mysterious black car shows up and they find out Mario just sold the bingo hall. Lupita the leader of the seniors warn them all of what bad things will come with new membership of the bingo hall but that doesn’t stop the new owner Mr. Big$ to suck residents into the devil’s den bright den. As Mr. Big keeps stealing souls of the community, Lupita refuses to break and has to figure out how to bring down this mysterious demonic presence before he feeds on all their souls. Richard Brake checks in with a wonderful performance as usual and we get a nice amount of gore but this horror film suffers from something I cannot put a finger on that stopped me from completely enjoying the horror film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Playhouse (DVD) – Just in case yinz kids are still counting pay attention because entry #13 is also known as ‘The Amityville Theater’ or ‘Amityville Legacy’ depending what country you are in and if you are streaming it? Anyhow part 13 is Canadian after having a short stint in the U.S. under the direction of Mark Polonia. This time around we get a film that involves a young lady named Fawn who inherits a movie theater in Amityville after her parents die. So of course the Fawn and the rest of the Scooby gang get locked into the theater for the dullest entry of the series yet. Oh hey bright idea… let’s bring an Ouija board and have the main plotline about six people being killed on November 13th every year? Again welcome to the WTF world of Amityville but gotta give them credit: 36 years, 13 entries in and they are still trying to connect all this to the original murders and haunted home. Sounds fun but it is not because I am now invested and must this through as I have to give this dud 0 stars.   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!