Monthly Archives: February 2023

Gross Movie Reviews #598

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Jaws of Satan (Blu-ray) – So I was checking out this out of print 2-pack Blu-ray that has “Jaws of Satan/Empire of the Ants” with no real extras and pretty much is the latest but out of print physical media of this flick that is available? Anyway, after a train stops suddenly in a small town several snake attacks happen that just happen to be led by a King Cobra who might be Satan himself! This cobra is tracking a priest who might not believe as much as some of his brothers until this snake along with others come looking for him so there can be an ultimate fight between good and evil. This killer snake movie is still some cheesy fun that I give 3 stars too but look out for the overpriced Blu-ray as it isn’t worth what the eBay people want?

Mercenaries (DVD) – A Hong Kong Shaw Brothers flick that isn’t as available as some Shaw Brothers flicks on YouTube has a bad ass dude Mr. Lou Li approached by a gorgeous rich woman who needs him to travel to Cambodia to kidnap an assassin? Lou Li is given permission to put together a small team and each can make a substantial amount of money if they are able to retrieve an audio tape that is being used for blackmail. Imagine a cool Hong Kong version of “The Expendables” who accomplish their mission but things go from a little bad to a whole lot worse when they all get screwed over! A super fun and crazy action flick well worth seeking out if you haven’t had the chance to witness bad ass flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Skid Kid (DVD-R/YouTube) – A WTF lost low budget film from 1991 that has a familiar face or two about a masked superhero who happens to be a high school kid (Scooter Spielberg) with special boots and skids along the road on his ass. These boots are so special that the FBI is looking into getting the boots off of the kid for the government. But meanwhile the kid is just trying to clean up his community of crime. And by the way folks his boots run on soda and not that cheap shit either… I dare you to not laugh and enjoy this cornball movie that if nothing else is entertaining and give 2 ½ stars too.

Queen of Blood (DVD) – A mid 60s film that is set in 1990 and stars Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, and John Saxon where earthlings receive a distress call from an alien ship on Mars. So being 1990 in all they jump into a ship to go see if they can help their new friends? Friends this alien is not as a beautiful green alien is found and brought aboard the ship for the astronauts to bring back to good health and have her meet the good scientists that started this mess. Once awake on the ship the beauty wastes no time to lure men in with her beauty and suck them dry of their blood. Sounds like a crude version of “Lifeforce” kids but no matter how old this feature is its still worth checking out this B-movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (YouTube) – This somewhat hard to find 1980 film is sometimes known as “Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell” where a man named Kelly tells a horrible story of a frog monster one summer when he was 11 years old. A researcher comes by Kelly and his father to investigate the lake they live on where a fossil unlike anything before was found. But there has always been a story of something living near or in the lake that is half man/half monster and was looked upon as a god. The film takes a while to get going but has a wonderful pay off when the cheesy monster goes on a rampage as I give the film 2 stars.

Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

Crocodylus (DVD) – A no budget film about a small town having a killer croc problem even though several times throughout the film characters saying, “killer gator”… It was making no sense but anyway after a few bodies have been mutilated the cops finally take interest in these possible animal attacks. Doesn’t take much longer for others to take notice and explain how it is a professor’s experiment that has gotten out in the wild. The movie was mostly dull and couldn’t believe there wasn’t one person on set to even remotely try to add energy to this poor excuse for a killer animal movie as I give it 0 stars.

Remnants (Plex) – An Indy filmmaker Mark Byrne tries to take a stab at the recently bloated genre of paranormal and tries to bring something to it? A rich dude bank rolls a group of paranormal experts to research and help clear “remnants” of souls good or bad haunting people or structures. While just trying to help a lost soul of a killer clown happens to find an opening into the real world and restart his rampage of murder. Now the paranormal flick might not be my cup of tea but I gotta give kudos to Mr. Byrne trying to spice up the independent paranormal genre with a different take as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Invaders from Mars (DVD) – This 1953 drive-in classic have a kid witnessing a flying saucer landing in his backyard during a stormy night. David’s father George goes out to investigate to only fall into a hole and disappear mysteriously. David frightened until his father comes home and begins to act different and has a strange cut on his neck that reignites David’s fear. David fears it is no longer his father, but an alien clone or possession of sorts as townsfolk are slowly taken over. Luckily for David a nurse at the local police station believes something isn’t right and they head over to an army base where David is finally taken seriously about aliens invading. It is up to the Army to stop these invaders from sabotaging shit around town but the kicker of the whole thing is: Did David dream it all up or did something else happen? Still a wonderful flick to show movie people who are looking to dip their toe into the sci-fi/horror genre as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest guest list… so far

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This energetic, talented actor, director, overall cool human being has been one of my favorite and possibly most interesting people I have had the pleasure meeting over the years. You may know him from one of the best Indy “massacre” films ever made in “Pool Party Massacre”. But he also has parts in recent projects such as: The Barn 2, Amityville Hex, Scare Me, and Slashlorette Party as Grossfest is honored to have Drew Marvick as a guest.

This talented newcomer to the filmmaking community busted onto the scene with a film not only shot on video but prefers the process and has already carved a niche into the scene with their first big project “Spirit Animal”. Now they are about to rock the boat of Indy filmmaking again with their latest “Bathtub Shark Attack”! I dare you to say there is a bigger supporter of SOV films and shark films out there? So with great pleasure we will be having Madeline Deering as a guest.

This filmmaker is a quiet, talented fellow that I have known for many years and have had the pleasure watch him grow and learn with his films. I get super excited when this individual has a new release because I know it’s gonna be gory, fun, and possibly a little disturbing. He might be best known for such titles: Welcome to Deer Creek, Tonight You Die, What’s Wrong With Mom?, and Happy Hour Holocaust . But the I believe the Indy world is about to be blown away by this filmmaker’s most complete feature to date with “Then My Mind Walked Away” as we enjoy knowing Jim Roberts will be joining Grossfest as a guest.

Now this dude is excellent and his career has spanned a few decades where he started in a little role for a little film called “The Dead Next Door”. From there he was in such titles: Robot Ninja, The Sandman, Polymorph, Killer Campout, Frames of Fear 3, Deathboard, Hell Van  just to name a few. But recently has really made an impact as a director with titles: Her Name is Christa and Brimstone Incorporated! We believe Grossfest fans will enjoy his presence and we are happy to announce James L. Edwards as a guest.

Now yinz know we cannot have a Grossfest unless we have this individual as a guest? This director, actor, producer, has given Indy fans such fun titles as: Basic Slaughter, The Slasher Hunter, Everyone Must Die!, Super Task Force One, and then showed off his talent even more when he broke through with not just his “Meowy” series but his “CarousHell 1 and 2” breaking into the mainstream! This multi-talented star is on the edge of going global but always has time for us folks at Grossfest as usual we enjoy knowing we have Steve Rudzinski as a guest.

Over the past decade Mr. Clevenger has had a variety of roles through several Indy projects but also is a director, producer, etc. It isn’t often someone can make waves with one Indy film project and if I could point out a film that in our opinion is why we wanted him as a guest for Grossfest it is his first directed feature 2018’s “People to Kill” starring the very talented Erin Ryan. That film stands out big time when we discuss independent films over the years and take our word on it… It will stick with you as you get to meet this very cool individual who we are happy to have as a guest at Grossfest, Mr. Adam Scott Clevenger.

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

Grossfest is BACK!

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Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention.

Vendors please contact grossfest@gmail.com for a vendors application and we are working on having several different ways of taking payment.

See yinz there!

Gross Movie Reviews #597

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2 Cool 2 Geek the Film (YouTube) – A no budget film that documents two guys (Old School and 50-K) who have a web series and these guys have gotten big enough Spike TV is gonna pick the show up. Spike TV arrives to start filming and follow these two around until their buddy of the show Youngblood is kidnapped and of course hijinks ensues. There are cops, way too many comic book conventions, talk of sex slaves, way too much Sonic the Hedgehog worship, a bat on a string, and a Swedish exchange kid that cannot wait to do cosplay. This project is from Craig Blake and Adam Stern, so if you have enjoyed such films as Doug Waugh’s “Trash Juice”, “The Wet Ones” from “Wig Wolf”, or Addison Binek’s “Magnum Opus: The Movie” this chaos will be up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Valentine Bluffs: My Bloody Valentine Fan Film (YouTube) – ‘Fan Film’… let’s start there because that to me is always gonna be a tough sell especially a sequel to horror fans’ favorite over the years and there was only one movie, never a sequel. I am not opposed, I might be old thinking on this, but I always felt when you do see that term your expectations are already lowered right or wrong as a viewer. Anyhow it has been 40 years since the original killings of Harry Warden/Axel and the town of Valentine Bluffs has spent a lot of time healing and not talking about the legend. But two things are happening that will possibly rip the town apart again as it has barely kept alive this long. First, is TJ and Sarah’s son is heading to the small town looking for his father and second is the mayor (Lloyd Kaufman) who has come up with a gimmick for the closed mine “Harry’s Bloody Attraction” that most are not too keen on the idea. As you watch the film, filmmaker Tom Smith (pretty much his first feature) tries to connect certain things to the original to keep fans interested. Once TJ’s kid comes rolling into town the small town murders begin to happen again and without giving too much away Tom Smith tries to give answers to what may have happen after the first film. Now I know there are some fans of this film already but this is how I seen it right or wrong it’s just an opinion. But here we go folks: I felt the pacing was off and the buildup to the end was slow. The production looked great, you had a location, but in my mind what you did in the last five to ten minutes of the movie should have been expanded or made more of the plot point of the film. Because I think you can’t get away from the ending of the first film without explaining what happen to Axel so it sucks fans in. Second, I understand the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman as the mayor but anymore he only brings humor and not a sense of seriousness to the role that I believe was key for this project to work. Clearly you had a mine location I just felt you should have used it more as the last five/ten minutes felt great compared to what came before it. Again why it will always be tough to do a project/sequel to such an iconic film “My Bloody Valentine” of horror fan lore, so let the hate mail role in but anyway if anything filmmaker Tom Smith has my attention as I am curious where he goes with his second or third feature length film as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.

Good Old Days (Dropbox) – A short film where we have a beautiful summer-like day for three young ladies to take a bike ride to the field of a drive-in. Enjoying a great time and wanting a picture of it they get something they weren’t looking for and that is a sadistic couple with video cameras! But the best scare yet to happen. The five minute short is too the point, professional, and the ending will make yinz savor the entertainment you just witnessed as I got to give Zane Hershberger’s and Bridget Murphy’s project 4 out of 4 stars.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 – (Full Moon) – We are introduce to the sorority that has been trying to get from under the past of the strange murders at the bowling alley with a new set of sorority sisters wanting or needing more pledges or the house charter will be taken away. Kelli Maroney the sorority mother tries to put a stop to any thinking of the young ladies doing something stupid but they do it anyway as the sorority sisters and pledges head to the bowling alley to once again steal the bowling trophy. Remember it is about tradition so they are trying to restore it by unleashing the evil imp again! It’s cheesy, stupid fun, and has a few fun cameos. Is it the original B-movie madness some of us nuts loved 30-some years ago, probably not but they were smart to not reinvent the concept and go with what works as new Full Moon fans should enjoy this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doppelganger (YouTube) – A Matt Diulus short film that deals with a man that falls into his dream world meeting another version of himself. What sets this idea a part from some others that might sound familiar is the music as it sets the tone for what happens as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Victim No More – A Friday the 13th Tribute Film (YouTube) – Written and directed by a person some Indy fans may know from Ramsteer Films from several years ago, Bob Heckman. In this project Mr. Heckman tackles of course the Jason Voorhees legend. A young man Robbie who is talking to his therapist wanting to prove to his mother that Jason is long dead along with the Camp Crystal Lake serial killer legend. All Robbie wants is to put this behind him and be able to live a normal family life as his mother was a survivor of these Camp Crystal Lake bloodbaths many years ago. Meanwhile a young couple is exploring the woods in search of the legendary stomping grounds of Jason believing he has been long gone since 1984 (if you are listening to their conversation). But to the surprise of all three the ghost of Jason is very much alive and still stalks these woods. I gotta give Mr. Heckman credit for the cast, a solid story, and of course the location and keeping this fan film at 40 minutes. Really felt it didn’t allow the film to get dull. To be honest I am surprised there haven’t been more real attempts of this universe by fans? Now is there something for me to pick at, yes, but they are small things: What happens at the end (without spoiling it) thought there could have been a little more subplot there to sprinkle in but that would have made the film much longer. Also Jason… love the look (Part 6 undead/part seven rotting Jason) but felt like a much bigger person or more opposing person (CJ Graham perhaps) should have been in the suit. Overall Mr. Heckman had a budget to check off everything a “Friday the 13th” would want from a fan film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Curious to see if an idea like this would cross over into a bigger Hollywood budgeted version of “Friday the 13th” or will we always stay in limbo with projects like this?

Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available is I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

Results (YouTube) – A short film project from Austin Muratori that has a young man dealing with some depressing and shitty medical news. Without talking to family first this man makes a heartbreaking decision. There is a small twist in this depressing, effective, good short film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Half a Mind (YouTube) – A cautionary tale of futuristic brain surgery and what good or bad can come of it. The short film looks wonderful and a great setup or trailer for a feature length film that all was missing was Rutger Hauer in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the background of the dinner scene as I give this Buzz Meade short 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #596

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Terror Squad (VHS/YouTube) – This 1988 forgotten action gem falls into the category of “it’s so bad it is fucking wonderful”. The film opens with a rally of sorts and people saying, “Death to America”, (sounds familiar but it’s the Libyans)… Yes the folks who seem to be the bad guys of the 80s for most action flicks. Anyhow, the terrorist army and I mean four of them cross a small body of water over the Canadian border into small town Indiana. Their evil goals are takeover or destroy a small nuclear power plant in this small town. Well that plan goes south quickly and the other three wait in the car to watch so authorities can start chasing them through this small town for over 35 minutes that includes town sheriff Chuck Connors in a Brooklyn Dodgers jacket in which the car chase turns into a murderous rampage! But back to Chuck Connors for a minute as I am watching this flick and after the car chase is done and the terrorists decide to hold the local high school detention hall as hostages he is wearing this jacket while negotiating for the hostages. Now no one else in frame is wearing a jacket including our favorite “Dawn of the Dead” actor Ken Foree! So what is the point of this? Is there some kind of symbolism that I am missing? Why am I so fascinated by this even though Chuck Connors was like an actual college basketball star which made super focus that much more on him wearing this jacket? I mean for the love of Rutger Hauer he is the fucking sheriff but come on people is this in his contract somewhere? Because here is the thing I have watched a few late-80s films starring Chuck Connors and this fucking jacket appears randomly for no reason… I NEED TO KNOW! So back to the review kids: first half of the movie car chase with terrorists and having dumbest Hollywood police force since “Smokey and the Bandit” and second half of movie Libyans take hostages in a high school detention hall with Chuck Connors blurting out a few times, “We don’t need the FBI!” Yep, got it, good, because this film was entertaining as hell and had me laughing for days so it gets 3 stars folks!

Catch the Heat (DVD/YouTube) – Or by some chance you are watching the Australian version of the film it is called “Feel the Heat”.  It is 1987, an action film with an Asian federal agent undercover named Cinderella Poo kicking ass against the likes of Rod Steiger, Brian Thompson, and Professor Toru Tanaka! (I am pausing a minute for those of you that don’t understand and the others went looking immediately for this film on their phones or nearest streaming sites to start watching NOW!) Okay kids for those of you that are still reading not knowing who those people are thank you for being younger than me and giving a shit by reading the rest of this review. An uncover federal agent named Checkers heads from San Francisco to Buenos Aires to track down the big boss that is sending large shipments of drugs to the US and getting fine women’s breasts butchered… Here she gets close to the big boss man by being a dancer who is looking to move up to Hollywood. One by one she fucks bad guys’ asses up to bring down Hannibal aka Rod Steiger the boss. The fight scenes are entertaining, the dialogue is absolutely hilarious at times, and I dare you to tell me this isn’t a fun action flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Hackers (DVD) – This lesser known SOV flick is about three weirdos and a truck that drive around for odd jobs of fixing up homes, cabins, etc., out in the sticks. While not working they keep bothering a beautiful woman who just happens to be housesitting. First 15 minutes is where all the murders happen and then an hour of torturing this poor lady n’at. Yinz will absolutely hate the ending or semi-like it and feel that the movie makes some kind of sense is the best way to describe where this film goes as its worth at least one watch as I give it 2 stars.

Nightmare at 43 Hillcrest (DVD/YouTube) – Thanks to an overseas friend for pointing out this weirdo TV movie that feels like a more dramatic ‘After School Special’ about drugs and corrupt cops. A well-known police detective and his associate hit a house for a drug bust, problem is they fucked up and hit the wrong house. Instead of being empty handed and a laughing stock they plant drugs and turn this family’s life upside down. This TV movie looks more like a soap opera from the 70s more than anything but it was a well spent 70-some minutes as I give this special 2 stars.

In Search of Darkness: Part III (Shudder) – If your brain didn’t melt the first two times taking in all the beautiful horror that was out there in the universe? Well this documentary ups its game with going over 5 ½ hours! Enjoy 80s horror kids as this will last longer than that boner you keep trying to have with those generic pills that keep saying you have “low-T” at the age of 20? Any doodles yinz have fun with this because it was just as glorious as the others as I give this documentary 4 stars.

Last Man on Earth (Blu-ray) – Being a Vincent Price fan and being a fan of this film I don’t know if I ever put out a propper review of this flick? I mean honestly most horror fans over the age of 12 have seen or have said something about this film… Fan or not (which I am not) of the Will Smith film “I Am Legend” many youngsters seeked out the original. Now there will always be debate which film is the best version or interputation (mine is The Omega Man) of the original source material but that is for a whole other conversation? We are talking this 1964 film about gloom and doom that has possibly the most serious role of Vincent Price’s career? Price is Professor Robert Morgan and it is now 1968: a few years have passed since the plague started, he lost his wife and daughter, and he became the supposedly last survivor of mankind. During the day he tries to do clean up of the corpses in the street, get food, gas, and find the nest of ghouls that come out at night for him. This all stems from a possible airbourne virus that started in Europe that the professor may have immunity? (sounds interesting like now but funny how this film wasn’t brought up when the COVID shit went down) Back to the review, the ghouls, vampires, zombies, whatever you wanna call them are afraid of daylight, can speak, stakes to the chest kill them, garlic keeps them away, might be a vampire germ, and only come out at night. As you see the film plays with the lines or mythology of vampirism and zombies (especially before it was a term on the tips of tongues of every horror movie fan). The good professor believes he is doing something right until he meets a woman in Ruth who is half and half and learns he maybe the real monster? But pay attention to the dialogue about violence and society trying to survive because I think this why horror movie fans hold on to this version more than the others. For years if you are my age you grew up grainy versions of this film but with technology into DVDs the film looks never better but depending streaming, Blu-ray, etc., there is little differences in credits, beginning of the film , even the ending. Nothing crazy but stuff that the nerds will stay up at night knowing you didn’t know? No matter what the film is timeless in the fact of Vincent Price’s role but the subject matter and what it set up for a genre for decades to come so enjoy as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Haunted (DVD) – This 1995 film is about the paranormal but not just your ordinary ghost flick that at the time it was made may have flown under the radar unlike today if it would have been released. It begins in 1905 England where a boy loses his twin sister in an unfortunate accident that causes his mother to take him to the states until many years later. Now 1928, Aidan Quinn the grown up boy is back in England as a Professor and who has written a popular book proving ghosts don’t exist. After being contacted by an older woman several times he heads to a large property to debunk the latest haunting. There he meets a young and stunning woman in Kate Beckinsale who her and her two brothers have come back to Nanny to live since their parents have died in a monsoon. Shortly after the good professor believes Miss Webb is disturbed but soon finds his reality unraveling. The film goes in weird areas that include incest, who is alive, and how far is Christina willing to go to keep the professor there to stay? The film might be much more story driven than most ghost stories these days but stick with it as this is an interesting paranormal film that has quite an ending I think you may like as I give the film 3 stars.

The Banana Splits Movie (Blu-ray) – An absolute fun film about a kids television show from the late 60s and 70s that wasn’t perfect but now that I got the blu-ray it was time to revisit this fun creation. The April Fool’s joke that never went away and most likely never get a sequel was something off the wall and different than what horror fans are fed on a regular basis. Remember the show must go on but weird thing the Blu-ray doesn’t have a commentary but a cuple other extras worth oogling. If yinz are still into physical media like myself this is worth grabbing at the right price as I still give it 3 stars but also something tells me this will disappear if there is another upgrade in DVD/Blu-ray tech just some genre titles have in the past?

Phenomena (4K Ultra HD Set) – Just when I thought I seen it all Synapse has upgraded one of Argento’s weirdest flicks to the latest tech where the sound is somehow that much better and the colors are ridiculous. Now this one is a weird but understandable choice as American audiences just eat up anything Argento. This new set works on two fronts… if by some chance you never picked up the original US Blu-ray that first featured all three versions of the film well here is your chance to finally upgrade. Second front is, there is a different documentary on this new 4K version that wasn’t on the original Blu-ray set from a couple years ago. But outside of the new slipcase there isn’t much difference exception for the nerd that is in you. Yeah this weirdo Argento flick literally jumps off the screen but this new version really is about color and sound and if you got all the new tech in HDTV and 4K player stuff. Don’t get my wrong I enjoy Donald Pleasance and Jennifer Connelly but this set is literally made for the movie nerds in the US that may have not gotten that chance to get those selected huge box sets that were released overseas. I still give the flick 3 stars and 4 out of 4 to Synapse Films for putting this package together but this will be more for those who haven’t upgraded yet more than anything. But again Synapse is smart… Argento in 4K… I can hear the movie being shipped to many as we speak. For details on the new package check out www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Help Glenn get to his goal of making a sequel!

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https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-die-is-2-hard?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf%20share-flow-1&fbclid=IwAR2YCvQIZO0Jk1wkMTLnEC_a7B-n5YLbkjOChOLFElXhX3WwoYuBVyVUcXA

For anybody always interested in helping out with producing an Indy project, here is a great friend/filmmaker looking for some help? Here you go: If you know anyone who’s looking to boost their film resume, I’m offering associate producer credits for those who donate $100 – $249 to the project, and I’m offering executive producer credits for those who donate more than $250. And just so everyone is clear, this is not a horror film in any way, it’s an action/comedy. Thank you for your time!

Gross Movie Reviews #595

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Project Wolf Hunting (On Demand) – Once again Asian horror fucking rocks! This blend of “Con-Air”, “Dead Alive” splatter, with a glass of “The Raid” and “Captain America… sort of” is a Korean flick that has a group of dangerous criminals being transported by ship from the Philippines to South Korea. All the doors have been taken off to the rooms so each convict can be watched by the authorities going along for the ride. Of course there is a plan in place for the convicts to escape but what they are not counting on is the super-secret experiment hanging out in the bottom of the ship that only a doctor who is there for a bundle of cash knows about. This secret is known as “Alpha”! Once the escape and takeover begins it’s a wonderful war between cops and criminals until the “Alpha” has awakened by some human blood dripping down below (believe me just watch because it’s bad ass what happens next). This experiment is awake and pissed off as it is not picking sides. Hell a dude gets beaten with his own arm as this film sports possibly the most gore since “Dead Alive” if not more? Bottom-line: The Alpha doesn’t get old, very hard to kill, and has the strength of five men and he can smell your ass! What turns out from large scale takeover turns to a movie about survival as the movie explains a few things in the second half so stick with it. Most likely there won’t be a bigger splatterfest in 2023 but I was not impressed with the ending and felt it hurts the overall product as I give the film 3 ½ stars.  

The Amityville Quilt Store (YouTube) – Yes indeed kids I have found entry #45 and it’s a short film (thank our lord Rutger Hauer) about two dudes who make the mistake of visiting the Amityville General Store. For one of the unfortunate friends they find out the hard way the antiques there must feed as I give the short film 2 ½ stars.

The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (DVD/YouTube) – The great Karen Black plays your normal housewife of George Hamilton in this 1977 TV movie. Karen’s character is stuck in normalcy until she begins to have dreams and visions of a woman who died a few years back. Without giving too much away as I liked the little twist in this film between Black’s performance and the 45 year old film still having a spooky charm to it this is more than worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Satan Lives! The Rise of the Illuminati Hotties (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue and crew bring together what is supposed to be a lost film that was shot in 1992 by two filmmakers who set to interview and follow the leader of the Satanic church, Richard Lemeau. While gathering info on the satanic leader it’s quickly learned that there are some within the ranks that have their own plans that include world domination. Richard comes off in this documentary lost tape thingy as someone trying to run a legit alternative church but if Patricia’s plan goes off as planned she will be in charge of the Illuminati and the satanic church! This movie swims in the sea of sleaze and fun but has a few flaws such as the stripper dance routine going way too long to possibly pad running time? I did enjoy seeing the Dingo Pizza commercial from Maddie Deering’s “Spirit Animal” flick. So if you are not into films that flirts with the line between good taste and fun sleaze this is most likely not for you but I still give it a solid 2 ½ out of 4 stars for those who are fans of the talented Sean Donohue.

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (DVD) – A 2012 Indy project that begins at Happy Day Bible Camp in 1977 where campers get massacred by a person of the cloth (supposedly) and it stars Tim Sullivan, Ron Jeremy, Jeff Dylan Graham and the great Reggie Bannister. Now seven years later Reggie as Father Cummings and a survivor of the massacre head to the camp for a fun retreat for the parish of young people. Once settled in the campers are again victims of Sister Mary Chopper as the legend goes. The movie has a few hilarious moments for an Indy slasher but this project always makes me wonder if Rick Fusselman would have finished his project “Bible Camp Massacre” which was in pre-production at the same time of this film what would have Indy horror fans preferred? Anyway go check it out as I give it 2 stars.

Robo Vampire 2: Devil’s Dynamite (DVD/YouTube) – More jumping vampires, clumsy ninjas, a rando spacesuit dude that looks like an extra from an early 70s Godzilla film fill up this sequel to one of the more bizarre films I ever watched? All I know everything is Steve Cox’s fault in this film and there is a shadow warrior running around trying to put an end to the evil. But again it is Steve Cox’s fault because of someone’s sister being the “Queen of the Underworld”. If you sense disappointment in my review then you right because they went away from the dude being in an aluminum foil Robo suit and the mechanical noises they make off screen for the suit. Damn pieces of shit ruining a good gimmick as I can only give this 1 star.

Robo Vampire 3: Counter Destroyer (DVD/YouTube) – This time around we get two screenwriters in Cindy and Joyce who want peace at a hideaway in the mountains of China so they can work on this hot project about the “last emperor of China”. While the bumbling duo are busy waking evil spirits up, we got some sketchy mob shit going down between film companies and a woman named Jackie just killing off mob dudes left and right. A weird and confusing movie that eventually brings back the Robo suit but not till late into the second half of this oddity called a film. It was a little better than part 2 as I give it 1 ½ stars but no one near as entertaining as the original “Robo Vampire”.

Nailbiter (DVD) – An early short film from the people of Witch Doctor Films that I have had the pleasure of reviewing several of their projects over the years. This unique group’s early work is about a young woman taking an experimental drug for her cancer and it fails… maybe? Problem, the medical facility covers it up when the angry husband comes sniffing around as he cannot live without his beautiful wife and even consults a magic man he doesn’t believe in. It’s a great chilling and dark Indy tale of when you cannot leave the dead to stay dead. The early work is rough around the edges but you can clearly see the talent is there for the Witch Doctor Films crew as this was a fun ride down the rabbit hole to see their early work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.witchdoctorfilms.com .

Found Footage: The Series (DVD) – A project created by Indy legend Henrique Couto that has eight tales of found footage segments that run from 24 to 27 minutes. The eight stories are about strange occurrences and told uniquely through an influencer’s phone, Skype or Zoom, random camera footage, computer files, damaged hardrives, a RING doorbell, and an old broadcast from 1986 that was never meant to be seen. I am not a huge fan of ‘found footage’ stuff but will say the segment “Ding Dong” had my interest as a)it was told mostly through a RING doorbell on an empty house but also b) the relationship the character develops with the house night after night seeking to burglarize it??? Put it this way I am surprised I haven’t heard more about this project as it seems to fit what society is doing these days as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Homecoming Massacre (DVD/Tubi) – Our story begins with why you shouldn’t have clowns for a kid’s birthday party no matter what… Apparently also dudes don’t dress as the clown and get all rapey with mum? Anyway Jonathan kills both of them and gets put away in various facilities for ten years until a cousin or something of the family, “The Clarks” who have their own issues take him in. Of course things seem good so hey let’s leave our teenagers alone with the crazy murderer who killed his mum n’at ten years ago so the teenagers can have a party. Yep, this makes total sense for a lackluster ‘massacre’ flick that all you need to know its always the clowns fault as I give it 1 star.

Christmassacre (DVD/Tubi) – Which is a horrible title by the way which took me about five minutes to realize this is a movie from a few years back that Wild Eye Releasing renamed from its original title “Secret Santa”. Okay Wild Eye Releasing two things before we move on: first, do not be like some companies (let’s leave them unnamed for now) that rename films to get horror fans especially Indy horror fans to pay twice for the same movie when that is a little unoriginal and boring. Second, “Christmassacre”?! WTF?! What would be so wrong with “Secret Santa Massacre” if you are going that route anyhow? Back on track kids as we have a fun Indy horror flick about some college girls who live off campus and every year have a Secret Santa party after finals. This year someone is taking the Secret Santa thing a little too far as they plan on slaughtering all who is a part of this event? Weird thing about this up and down little horror film is the characters are very likable and actually help slosh through the dull parts of the film. Also pay attention to the cucumber and what happens to it as it has nothing to do with a dude getting his dried sausage of a wiener getting snipped off! Oddly enjoyable as the best thing I can say about this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Pennywise: The Story of IT (DVD/Tubi) – A wonderful documentary that looks back at this two part TV movie that was memorable for the horror fans but also changed the way TV movies were looked upon. If you were around when this was first released or just a nerd of this film before the remake ever existed this is a well worth watch as it does a deep dive into characters, process of it from book to the small screen, and the interviews and stories of behind the scenes stuff that may explain why part two sucked. Yes folks, they spend some time on what went wrong! Great way to waste two hours kids if you are a huge nerd for the film or just a fan of Tim Curry as I give it 4 stars.

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