Gross Movie Reviews #480

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Gross Movie Reviews #480

 

Valet Girls (On Demand) – Thanks to my good friend from across the pond James Peter Cox, he help me find this lost Empire Pictures flick that Charles Band has yet to abuse recently. It has cameos from former porn stars Ron Jeremy and Barbara Dare! For the most part this sex comedy that is more about comedy than sex is about Lucy and Rosalind and their misadventures as “Valet Girls” in Hollywood. All they want is to be famous but have to deal with dickholes Dirk Zebra and his sexual harassment antics. These young ladies are just trying to make it in the rock-n-roll business but in the meantime dress slutty for their job of parking cars. Most of this B-grade sex comedy takes place at a mansion that is basically supposed to be the Playboy mansion. But the girls get them all back when they are able to get the press in to see the underbelly of business in Hollywood. It is nowhere near as fun as “Hardbodies” but well adding that notch in your belt of 80s sex comedies that need to be seen as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blink of an Eye (DVD) – Arie Lombardozzi goes with a subtle statement short film that I believe can be taken in several ways depending what frame of mind you are in watching it? And that is a good thing in my book when reviewing independent stuff. A typical family of four is going through the routine of life. They are convincing themselves they are they are living a dream, meanwhile death is watching nearby creeping closer and closer. I enjoyed a couple things about this: first, everyone is faceless including the well-shot scene or scenes in the car dealership… Bravo my friend! And second, I believe you could watch this several times and have a different opinion each time of what is being portrayed. So for that Arie I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.deathdealerproductions.com .

Closing Time (DVD) – Well for the love of Rutger Hauer… Jim Roberts went and did it again as he made a wonderful independent horror film again and possibly the most serious to date. But don’t let that scare you off this mixture of paranormal, gangster, western, splatter film… Yeah that is the best way to describe this fun feature. A young man named Eddy just receives news his father died in an accident that was possibly caused by another young man Steve whose father owed money to Eddy’s father. Eddy not taking kindly to this and waiting for his father to get cold in the ground decides it is time to collect and get revenge with a little help from some friends. Eddy’s brutal take down of Steve’s western store goes well at first until the Native American spirits decide to pick sides and turn this revenge flick into full on splatter flick! The spirits want blood and sure get it as they fuck up Eddy and his cohorts. Jim Roberts is an amazing filmmaker the world has yet known but be prepared because if he keeps making wonderful entertaining horror films like this Hollywood will be calling as I give 3 out of 4 stars. Once again Jim proves he needs little money and some help from his dedicated friends to pull off a horror film that is more interesting than 99% of the shit you watch in 2019… Thank me later after you buy it!

Shark Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon Vol. 1 (DVD) – Okay if you haven’t heard of Addison Binek it is time you do. This dude does riff trax for flicks, all kinds of flicks and even got Lloyd Kaufmann’s blessing. In the same vein as MST3K but he does it in like 20 minutes or so for each flick. With his YouTube channel under attack by YouTube as many others are Addison has decided to put out DVD collections of some of his best Riffs and damn it they are hilarious. In this collection Addison covers: Sharktopus, 2-Headed Shark Attack, Snow Shark, Sharks in Venice, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Super Shark, Raiders of the Lost Shark, Psycho Shark, The Last Shark, and Creature from the Haunted Sea. He does these films in some of the most prop filled and hatred towards SyFy Channel I have ever seen… And I laughed my ass off! Mr. Binek doesn’t take them too serious but his hatred at times is his love for cinema just coming through and telling the truth that people don’t wanna hear. Addison is absolutely brilliant and hilarious and gave some awesome quotes like “Bloody shark hand stigmata” and “Oh, a found footage movie from the future, GREAT!” If you need a laugh and wanna hear what we all been thinking when watching these flicks then do yourself a favor with this 4 stars entertainment all the way.

 

Shark Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon Vol. 2 (DVD) – Addison Binek is back riffing on aquatic animal movies to my liking and less angry and just accepts how bad some of these are. This time around Mr. Binek almost makes me piss myself laughing when he tackles: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, Mega Shark vs. Kolossus, Sharkansas Women’s Prison, Piranha 3DD, Shark Exorcist, and Blood Beach. Yeah there is still a little SyFy Channel bashing but we do get a great line like “Are those giant balls?” Instead of anger we get Addison just enjoying what these movies are and that is they are just bad which for me is a good thing as I give this collection 4 stars again all the way!

 

The Hornet’s Disciple and the Scars She Left (DVD) – There is some talented independent filmmakers out there and then there is Dustin Mills. The man is constantly working and never doing the same thing horror wise. He is always trying to stretch the genre in so many ways to his vision. This film is no exception… For me a very hard watch as it’s not my usual cup of tea as it is in the vein of “A Serbian Film” or “August Underground”. This isn’t good or bad as Dustin is constantly trying to do something different constantly and I believe he is succeeding. The story revolves around a young lady Rose whose puts out ads looking for other young ladies who are into fetishes, pictures, videos, bondage, etc. Rose is looking for new sexual content for her website and is constantly upfront about what she wants. Everything is hunky dory with her newest actress/project Finley until Finley comes to the understanding what is actually happening and just hopes to get out alive! Rose abuses Finley until she comes to the revelation there has to be one that gets away? Is it possible if we look deeper into this content that it’s about a young lady like most today under the age of 30 are desensitized to everything now? Or is it just about a ruthless, sadistic, brutal woman who likes abuse in some way? Not totally sure but I do know this is a hard watch but give credit to Roni Jonah for being amazing in her role as Rose as I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. Again the film is not my cup of tea but I and Dustin know there is always an audience for this.

 

Machete Joe (DVD) – Well this low budget flick started off great and then quickly went into the pooper. The film is about a couple of filmmakers who have two different visions on what the low budget film they are filming is about. But of course they casted it and are filming at a haunted castle (supposedly) with not a full script called, “Machete Man”. Once everyone is there slowly the crew is being picked off. The film tries to be a ‘Who Dun it?’ kinda of flick but if you make it to the end you don’t really care as I give this bad movie 1 star.

 

Toilet Gator (YouTube) – “When you see the brown eye someone will die!” Yep the filmmaker tells you this before the movie gets started and it spends twenty minutes of the 60 minute film introducing the characters in a New York City apartment building. The toilet gator becomes a reality when famous child star Johnny Beaver flushes a pet alligator down the toilet before his mom knows he spent 500 bucks on it. Two weeks later it jumps out of someone’s toilet and attacks. Oh believe me it is worse than you can ever believe but leave it to me to sit back and find some weird enjoyment of this mid-90s Indy film no one heard of.  This was horribly bad until we get a dude fighting the toilet gator with a plunger and for that I give it a ½ star.

 

The Osterman Weekend (DVD) – This 1983 film stars Rutger Hauer and just about everybody else you can think of. Rutger Hauer is a TV personality named Tanner who looks to expose things politically for the people on live TV by interviewing government persons when possible. The CIA comes to believe that all of Tanner’s friends from Berkley are helping the Russians and plotting something big. They use an agent to help Tanner to turn his yearly retreat with his friends into a possible turning a friend into a spy against the Russians. Everything of course is for U.S. security but as the weekend goes along Tanner becomes more upset as his friends become unglued and the real reasons of their meetings are revealed. A very interesting film on privacy, government, and a few other things that are in the news now over 36 years later more than ever. For that folks I give this wonderful spy movie 3 ½ stars.

 

Alley Cat (DVD) – A wonderful B-movie action flick where a young lady (Billie) has had enough after her grandparents have been mugged. She tries to do it the right through the court system but gets in trouble for helping a rape victim and decides it is time to use her karate moves to jack up some dumb ass loser dudes that keep causing chaos in her life. We get everything to Billie fighting cops to her setting up her own rules in women’s prison until she can get out and kick ass! Fun B-movie stuff that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

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New horror film “Pipeline” is coming…

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A family rents their home to unsuspecting tourists to satiate the monster that lives in its very walls.

http://summerhillfilms.com/pipeline/

Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW6bYB507lY

 

Grossfest is coming…

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Tell your ma, tell your pa, tell everyone in Arkansas Grossfest is coming July 20th! But serious people tell your friends, your work friends, your ex-friends, your exes in general, your mistress, your secret boyfriend, your boyfriend’s boyfriend, tell the dreaded relatives that this cool event is happening again July 20th! And filmmakers that didn’t get a table because they sold out again come anyway and buy a ticket just to check out all the cool independent horror filmmakers, authors, and bad ass vendors! Help us make this grow so we can do this every year… Remember only $10 and you never know what will be there!!!

 

Guests for Grossfest 2: Fred and Shelby Vogel, Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger, Dustin Wayde Mills, Craig Everett Earl, Justin Channell, Glenn Berggoetz, Henrique Couto, Brian Paulin, and Tom Savini. There will also be independent authors, filmmakers, and cool vendors… Plus independent movies will be shown all day. Remember things are subject to change…

Saturday, July 20, 2019 (Vendor room 11-7, Movie room 11-10) $10 admission includes both

DoubleTree Hotel

340 Racetrack Road

Washington, Pa. 15301

724-222-6200

Code to book your discount room: G19

Anything else please visit us at www.grossfest.com or visit our Grossfest Facebook page.

Gross Movie Reviews #471

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Gross Movie Reviews #471

 

South of Hell (DVD) – An independent anthology of sorts as a mysterious young lady telling stories after she leaves a bar that involves humanity. The stories are more about substance than blood and guts but all four are solid entries. The first involves a cute couple (Tawny and Tony) who are all about each other until they move together. Tony cuts Tawny off from the rest of the world for several months as the relationship sours. After an argument Tawny is killed by Tony but doesn’t let her death get in the way of the two being together forever. The second involves two brothers who make drugs for a man who doesn’t like his shipments late and things go south quickly. The third story is about a young woman in college who decides to take a self-defense class because of her mom. But she is kidnapped by an unknown stalker. The fourth is about a man who kills because he enjoys the kill. All entries were well written and entertaining as D. Max Walters changed it up with more story telling than just throwing guts at the screen as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Axeman (DVD) – This 2013 independent slasher has a great cast and I like the set up but fails on many levels in making this slasher film fun. A giant dude with an axe even though he doesn’t use it much kills a group of twenty-somethings looking to party like they did in college. They of course ignore the legend at Cutter’s Creek to get this cabin cheap to party all weekend. When there is 40 minutes between deaths we get a lot of MTV reality show drama as who stole whose boyfriend takes up way too much running time of this feature. Another big mistake is having a huge actor to play the part of the ‘Axeman’ but literally give him no style or character. Hey I know this was a small budget but when you spend more time and cash into casting the film than on special effects and editing you are going to make a bad movie. I wanted to really like this film but I cannot find a way to do that as I give it 1 ½ stars. Stop trying to reinvent the slasher film formula!

 

Axeman 2: Overkill (DVD) – A few years later the sequel picks up seconds after the first film. Problem the sheriff and the final girl or guy in this case was shown at the end about to be hacked to pieces? Darren and the sheriff are alive and basically it is ignored that they were most likely killed. But for some weird script reason they survive only to find themselves being stalked by a new and improved ‘Axeman’ who looks like a bootleg Balls Mahoney from ECW! This time out at Cutter’s Creek we have Christians and criminals taking refuge in the cabin with a bad history. Thus begins another slaughter as the sheriff rounds up a posse to go kill the Axeman with failure as the only option as this sequel was dead on arrival. The actor who plays Darren in both films is also the director and possibly might want to look into another genre of film to make as this sequel may have been worse than the first film as I give it ½ star.

 

Glass (On Demand) – The follow-up to that wonderful film “Split” has David Dunn searching for a serial killer in the city. What he wasn’t expecting to find is the person with over 20 personalities behind the event. As the two fight for supremacy a doctor and about a hundred police officers show up to arrest both and take them to an asylum to be evaluated. There they come together with Mr. Glass. All three are very unique humans with certain possible superhero abilities. The good doctor played by Sarah Paulson has three days to cure them of their ailments as she believes they are not superheroes. With these three possible super humans together in one place you know it’s only a matter of time before a big battle happens. The film may have not gone the way most people wanted but I quite enjoyed the story as it did not try to do too much and let you feel for all three characters. Plus I enjoyed the ending with the good doctor which you know as soon as she hits the screen she is the real bad guy. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Happy Death Day 2U (On Demand) – I will be up front this film should have been better but also where they went with it I totally understand the direction. The whole gang is back and even though Tree is the central point of the story it gets screwed up in a time loop because of Ryan. And because of his actions now parallel universes have been opened up and Tree has been thrown into a different one. Her mom is still alive, her roommate isn’t trying to kill her, and Carter is banging Danielle which gives the sequel its humor. Instead of hilarious constant moments and lots of blood the film almost becomes more of a drama than horror film. All the characters are very likable and I love the first film so much more but this might be an example of when trying to explaining everything instead of just letting some little things in that universe go? I just hope they allow horror audiences to enjoy the first film for years to come and not make the mistake of making a third film that would somehow be a prequel as I give this sequel 2 stars.

 

Queen Crab (DVD) – If you haven’t had your fill of independent creature features then look no further than this feature brought to us by Brett Piper. Just a simple story of a little girl who had a pet crab. When her parents accidently die in an explosion the little girl’s uncle takes care of her. Twenty years later the little girl now an adult lives alone on her parents property and still has the pet crab. What people don’t know about is the crab is a giant crab that ate fruit from an experimental plant that dealt with growth her father was working on. Now the crab is loose wreaking havoc in the small town trying to protect its only friend. I always enjoy finding Brett Piper is out there still working as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dragon Lives Again (YouTube) – The film stars Bruce Leong and the film is dedicated to the millions of the Bruce Lee fans. This is what you need to know folks… Bruce Lee after death goes to the underworld only to fight Dracula, Clint Eastwood, James Bond, Mummies, and Zombies and gets help from Popeye. Literally it is one of those films you would think somebody made up but it is truly real and entertaining as hell as I give it 3 stars.

 

Triple Threat (On Demand) – A Chinese Heiress inherits an ungodly amount of money from her father. She decides to use it to fight crime syndicates so it is safe for people to play outside again and not be afraid. Of course she is going to face some fallout from this now she is hitting national television to talk about her plan. Cue the awesome “Predator-like” beginning scene of people being obliterated by an elite team of soldiers. The elite team is there for nefarious reasons and unleashes supposedly loose cannon that are hired to take out the Chinese Heiress. When two trackers who help this group were believed to be killed and meet a man who survived the attack and unlikely alliance is sort of made when they are forced to protect the heiress. This bad ass action flick is almost as fun as watching “The Expendables” and “The Raid”. Every action star in the flick gets their two minutes of beating some major ass and this is a must watch as I give it 4 stars. Tony Jaa, Tiger Hu Chen, Iko Uwais, Scott Adkins, and Michael Jai White should be in every action film as far as I am concerned as they made me say “Fuck Yeah” quite a few times during this flick.

The Head Hunter (On Demand) – With not much backstory we are introduced to this Viking-like warrior who lives alone in a house with beast heads spiked to the wall. This big burly man has flashbacks of his daughter who he once watched over and was snatched up by one of these monsters. Every so often he receives a message or signal to go hunt for the new beast. He goes to war with all beasts over and over looking for the particular one that took his daughter. Finally the day as come that the beast he has been looking for has been spotted. He is more excited than usual to track this monster. Like the rest of the defeated beasts he has decapitated it and carries it home to spike it and show it to his daughter’s grave. Without giving too much away that is when things take a surprising, creepy, and interesting fun turn. An amazing fun monster flick that you do not want to pass on as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

BBQ Massacre (YouTube) – A funny short film about four friends who learn the hard way of buying a RV off of a creepy dude as I give it 3 stars.

 

Vacation Campground Massacre (YouTube) – A short film that claims to be a true story about four women camping and being stalked by a man in a pillow case with a smiley face on it. The killer actually made me laugh a couple times as I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Barn Party Massacre (YouTube) – Two friends go to a barn to drink their asses off that looks like someone’s basement and of course owned by a homicidal maniac! Very uneventful short film as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #470

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Gross Movie Reviews #470

 

Midnight Review (DVD) – Here is something from new independent filmmakers Mitch Tyree and Broaden Torture Productions. This flick follows friends who work for a horror critic website and magazine called “Midnight Review”. As the so-called friends are bickering constantly, a man in a skull mask stalks them and the staff/friends are dropping like flies. In the end I like the concept since the story tries to keep you from figuring out the killer is by having all characters involved feel they are ‘the best horror critic’. Tyree and company’s effort suffers from learning that editing is your friend. Overall some things could have been done differently but I like what they could do project wise in the future as I give this 2 out 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Obsessive (DVD) – The next Mitch Tyree effort is a film about a vlogger/blogger who wants to make a horror movie. He is disgusted with the entries into the genre out there. So he decides he will film everything he does including heading a horror movie convention to do some interviews of other independent filmmakers to get their take. But some of the insight the vlogger/blogger gets is disappointed and just cements his belief the killings need to be real on film. The masked blogger believes that killing these randomly picked people and having it filmed will make them famous since he is filming it as it happens. This second effort from the Broaden Torture Productions crew is much better project that could gain some independent horror fans. This film has the feel or tone of  an “August Underground” film and again editing could have helped in the long term but still a solid effort I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Spookies and Oddities Volume One (DVD) – Three disturbing shorts put together that has an abusive husband listening to the devil on his shoulder, a person who only seems to be able to see and a hear man, and we get to see a woman being stalked. All these are done in a little over 20 minutes by the Broaden Torture Production crew. Most likely little ideas they had that were never fleshed out or just trying out some ideas before they decide to make full features? These DVDs are cool things for the die-hard independent fans that want to get to know the crew better and see what might be in store for the future as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

Weed Wacker Massacre (YouTube) – An absolutely wonderful 12 ½ minute film from a production team called ‘Crap Films’. A weed wacker shorts out and electrocutes a man using it. Thus causing the man’s spirit to take over and the weedwacker begin slicing and dicing through the neighbors. A hilarious idea that ends with a man wrestling the weed wacker on the ground! I always love this kind of simple fun gory stuff as I give it 4 stars.

 

Blood City Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Peter Crady is a tatted up bald dude that gets great joy out of breaking necks! It has been two years since Peter killed his parents and decides to break out of the local asylum to break necks again. Two agents try to track him down so they hit up his sister Susan who really can care less about Peter. The film has it all: bad music, bad acting, bad storyline, made in Austria, and I do not know if it was made on purpose like this or it was actually that bad as I give it 1 star. You really got to search for this independent DVD since it is overseas but very easily can be watched on YouTube.

Werewolf Massacre at Hell’s Gate (DVD) – In Skinner’s Grove back in 1693 the residents burn a woman they believed to be a witch. Of course like all witches in horror movies she curses the future residents of Skinner’s Grove! Now present day a paranormal researcher is finding evidence of werewolves in the cursed town. With the local residents already knowing of the curse they have dispatched armed militants to gun down the creatures. Pretty cheesy and pretty boring at times but just glad I watched it for the title as I give it 1 star. If you search Amazon hard enough you can find a DVD on the cheap.

 

Urban Massacre (DVD) – This movie idea was bad from the beginning as the latest unknown hip hop group is about to burst out big. But before they do they all must deal with an ugly killer clown. Something tells me someone watched “Killjoy” and made a cheaper version of that movie that fails miserably. I give this flick 0 stars for existing.

 

Teen Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from filmmaker Jon Knautz that gave us the creature feature “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer”. Jon Knautz sends teens out into the forest for a science project but find a thing trapped in a cage. Some info on the internet claims this 2004 short can be seen as an extra on the “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer” DVD. I have the DVD and this was not on there? So maybe it is an extra on the Blu-ray or later versions of the DVD? Either way I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (DVD) – Back in 1985 someone got idea of making Fred Ward an action star… They should have stuck with it. Fred Ward plays a New York cop whose death is faked because he has been recruited by an organization that goes after untouchable criminals. They give him a new name in Remo Williams as his training is to tear him down and retrain him without the use of weapons. His body is the weapon as he will eventually be able to dodge bullets and walk on water. But his main goal is to bring down a man who works within the military named Grove who sells weapons to the U.S. military. Grove’s evil sidekick is a young Patrick Kilpatrick who gets into a couple fun action scenes with Ward. Another cool action film from the mid-80s that should not be dismissed when you talk this genre of film with people as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Trench 11 (DVD) – The film is set in WWI, 1918. On the western front of France something terrible is discovered that the Germans were secretly doing. A whole underground tunnel system that was dug out by Germans was buried on purpose. So a small group of Allied soldiers are sent to the abandoned bunker at the same time the Germans make preparations to return so no one can learn their deep evil secrets of what was really going on there. The Allies once arriving find a German lab and people that should have be dead but still live, kind of. The Germans were exploring a biological weapon and may have unleashed something that cannot be contained? If you are a fan of the “Outpost” films and “The Strain” TV show you will most likely enjoy this and if not you will enjoy the exquisite bone crunching autopsy scene as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation (DVD) – A documentary that dives into what started the revolution of filmmaking in Australia that really started in the late 60s and early 70s. Before that they really didn’t have a film industry but slowly filmmakers were starting to pop up and began to put together productions in all genres. George Miller and Brian Trenchard-Smith are two names that Americans know but they have several filmmakers, critics, and actors talk about the crazy times of filmmaking. Just another wonderful and fun documentary for film fans as I give it 4 stars.

 

Caesar & Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (DVD) – Caesar and Otto are just two guys who don’t have a job and now just happen to be on the run from the law. So what better way to escape them is become summer camp counselors?  As they begin their training their father has been thrown out of his house again and decides to hang with his sons. Once their father shows up the trainees for the summer camp start disappearing and it may or may not have something to do with the head counselor and nurse selling body parts?  I may have enjoyed the role of Felissa Rose in the film it isn’t enough for me to really enjoy the horror/comedy as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

Grossfest is looking for Vendors!

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With the holidays over and the new year underway, why not get involved with a great up and coming independent horror convention, GROSSFEST! Saturday, July 20th, 2019

With our first year being a big success and vendor spaces selling out quickly, we have changed to a new location and are able to add more vendors! Located at
Doubletree hotel
340 racetrack road
Washington pa 15301

If interested please email us grossfest@gmail.com
Tables are only $50!

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest

 

Don’t forget if you are a filmmaker contact me about getting your film to our Grossfest contest?

Scotchworthy Productions has a deal for you!

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Scotchworthy.com 

https://www.scotchworthy.com/store-1/

Stop by the Scotchworthy.com store now for special discounts and free shipping!

Just in time to stuff some stockings with bloody good cheer, Scotchworthy is offering free shipping (domestic US only) on all merchandise in the Scotchworthy store AS WELL AS a newsletter only holiday discount!  Simply enter the discount code CHEER during checkout for an additional $3 off anything in the store!
SHOP NOW!!!

Happy Holidays and thank you again for all of the support.

Hello and thank you for supporting indie filmmaking and Scotchworthy Productions!  It’s been a very busy year for us and we’re excited to update everyone with all the great news!

Early in the year, Ben Lewandowski and the rest of the post production team finalized Skeletons in the Closet.  From there we prepped the movie for its world premiere at the Davis Theater on September 7th.  The event was an absolute blast!  From there we released the movie via Amazon, iTunes, and it became a featured release on PopcornFlix and FrightPix.
Skeletons in the Closet is also available NOW on blu-ray, which you can order from the Scotchworthy store, and we’re even providing a discount just in time for the holidays!  See the sidebar to the left for info.
A couple weeks ago, coproducers Ben Lewandowski and Tony Wash met with Skeletons in the Closet distributors Questar Entertainment and renowned horror director John McNaughton (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Wild Things) and his producer Steven A. Jones to discuss a partnership to bring Skeletons in the Closet the TV show to fruition!  Keep your fingers crossed as we plan the first season and gear up for the pilot episode.

The summer kicked off nicely with the release of Tony Wash’s third feature, The Rake.  Produced in 2015 and starring Rachel Melvin (Dumb and Dumber To) and Shenae Grimes-Beech (90210, Degrassi, Scream 4), The Rake has been considered “… a dark and twisted tale that had me guessing for the better part of an hour before it descended into total madness. I was a bit disappointed when it reached an abrupt ending, but it was worth taking the ride up to that point.” – Cody Hamman – Life Between Frames
The Rake is a psychological thriller sandwiched in a creature film ripe with brooding tension and eerie atmosphere, with stunning production design by Sarah Sharp, eye-catching cinematography by Robert Patrick Stern, and the terrifying practical special FX from Jason Kain that Scotchworthy’s reputation was founded on.
Rent/buy The Rake from every online outlet or cable provider or purchase a copy from scotchworthy.com NOW!

American Antichrist is the latest from filmmaker Dakota Ray

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American Antichrist is the latest full length feature from Denver auteur filmmaker Dakota Ray (The Rise & Fall of an American Scumbag, The Acid Sorcerer). The film is comprised of six vignettes that provide insight into a post-apocalyptic world inhabited by deviant and vile characters, including a serial killer (Dakota Ray) raised from the dead, who is haunted by visions of hell, a deranged religious fanatic (L.B.) , a sadistic drug dealer (Nick Benning) with connections to a snuff film ring, and a female drug addict (Meg Lacie Brown) who will do anything to get her next fix. American Antichrist takes the viewer on a bizarre, nihilistic voyage, full of evil, death, drugs, religion and immorality.

Cast:
Dakota Ray as The Antichrist
Nick Benning as Chris
L.B. as Benjamin
Meg Lacie Brown as Crystal
Damien Rimmon as Sid
& The Acid Jesus as Himself
Featuring the songs: ‘Masco’, ‘Taven’, ‘Tarasque’, & ‘Madeleine’ by Fallow
Produced By: Dakota Ray, Sebastian Oake and R.A. Productions
Written & Directed by: Dakota Ray

Official Trailer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QqZ-rMPrHxA

Indiegogo Presale Campaign:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/american-antichrist#/

Interview with Dakota Ray: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJDVlOcaTHQ&feature=em-share_video_user

American Antichrist Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/American-Antichrist-350101585480631/

IMDB Page: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8938526/

 

Dakota Ray Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100007959648925

New guest announcement for Grossfest 2019!

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For our next guest announcement is a pair like no other making independent horror films. They are raw, brutally honest, and have made some films that are absolutely disgusting and beautiful at the same time. The point is their films grab you by the naughty parts and make you pay attention! They may be the most talented duo out there in filmmaking land and have a constantly growing audience.  A lot of people know them as TOE TAG or as I would like to introduce them to the few that haven’t had the pleasure of meeting these talented young people I give you… Fred Vogel and Shelby Lynn Vogel! I believe the picture explains everything…

 

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest #grossfest2019

DoubleTree Hotel
340 Racetrack Rd.
Washington, Pa. 15301
1-724-222-6200
http://doubletree3.hilton.com/…/doubletree-by-hi…/index.html
We have a hotel block once again and rooms are $119 plus tax.

For anyone that wants to book their room for GrossFest the code for the discount is G19

Also people we didn’t go far from the original location (We like Washington, Pa. and they like us) but bar and restaurant will be open the whole time during the convention, plus the casino is only a short walk away, also for the out-of-towners always interested Primanti’s is a block or so away, plus this location is about a ½ mile from the exit off of I-79 and about a half mile or so from Route 19.

Once again we will have a great vendor room and movie room. But even better news people tickets are still only $10 for admission and vendor tables are still $50 each. VENDORS DON’T HESITATE to get your space. We sold out for our first show!