Gross Movie Reviews #406

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Gross Movie Reviews #406

 

Wild Card (DVD) – Jason Statham plays a security consultant named Nick Wild in Vegas. He helps protect rich people when in town playing the slots or hitting the town. Nick is known throughout Vegas and is respected but he wants out of the scene but always finds him broke and still doing jobs. Things change when he takes a job protecting a boring dude  and the guy just wants to know what is it like being a consultant and Wild’s girlfriend gets beat up by a wanna be mobster. She wants revenge and wants Wild’s help to do it. The movie is and not in ways your typical Statham action flick. A couple cool cameos but the film focuses more Nick Wild not getting out of Vegas than him just busting skulls on a regular basis. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Ambulance (VHS/YouTube) – First let me just thank Jon Cross for digging this beautiful unknown feature out of obscurity. A Larry Cohen flick about a man played by Eric Roberts who works for Stan Lee by the way who obsesses over a woman he sees at lunch everyday but hasn’t talked too. So he does today and she has an issue after trying to shake off Roberts for several blocks and paramedics pick her up to rush her to the hospital or so it seems. Roberts’s character searches all the New York hospitals and nothing. Again obsessed he tries to track down what happened to her exactly. James Earl Jones who plays a police detective gets sucked into the mystery when Eric Roberts keeps popping up at disappearances talking about a strange ambulance picking up victims with diabetes. Just another example of Cohen’s work being brilliant as I give this must-see obscure flick 3 stars.

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (DVD) – A “USA Up All Night” staple that came from Troma in 1989 that will forever be known for having Billy Bob Thornton before he was famous and the fun Don Calfa. A woman biker gang (Cycle Sluts) arrive in a small town of Zariah looking to get laid and cause chaos! Unbeknownst to the young motorcycle ladies Don Calfa aka Ralph has been experimenting with humans and turning them into zombies. He hides or imprisons them in the old mine where he found some nuclear shit that he uses on unsuspecting humans to make them zombies. After eating a kid the zombies have broken loose and want to feast on the town. The only people that can help the small town survive are the Cycle Sluts! Bikers vs. Zombies! This simple but great Troma flick doesn’t get as much press as some of the other popular Troma titles but is a 4 star film all the way!

 

Garbage Pail Kids (DVD) – Finally after many years I sat down to watch this flick that I thought I would have seen in its heyday? I was 10 or 11 and collected the original Garbage Pail Kids cards. I have a dresser that holds extra shit in my basement with some these stickers still on it! But somehow I missed there even being a movie out in 1986 that starred these fun gross things. When I first stumbled upon this movie existing in the mid-90s I thought it was a joke but so did everyone else when it was released in the 80s. Thought to be a massive failure, it wasn’t as the budget was only a million bucks and most of that went to costumes and effects of the Garbage Pail Kids who built by John Carl Buechler. The creations or locked in a magical garbage can in antique store where a teenager works for a crazy weird dude who tells stories constantly. One day being bullied the garbage can falls over and oozes out and poof we have several Garbage Pail Kids! They help the young teenager get over being bullied and try to impress a girl. In return the kid must go find the supposedly other Garbage Pail Kids who were taken away for being “ugly”. Watching it now and thinking back to when these were big in the mid-80s I still would like to know whose idea it was to make this a movie because there really wasn’t a backstory to these cards to begin with. They appeared one day and became part of 80s pop culture for a short period of time. But reading into why this wasn’t a bigger budget film and its issues it had coming to the big screen I would have loved to see John Carl Buechler’s vision of this being a horror movie. Now that would have been a much better movie as I give this 1 ½ stars.

 

Zombie Fight Club (Blu-ray) – How to best put this movie is it’s like ten zombie movie concepts all jammed into one. Or a better description would be ‘The Raid’ meets ‘The Horde’ with some CGI but a ton of gore. More than anything this movie reminds me of a violent anime cartoon come to the big screen. Tough sell but another worthwhile flick for the zombie film die hard out there as I give it 2 stars.

 

Don’t Breathe (Blu-ray) – So it is Detroit and a threesome of young hoodlums wanna break into bootleg ‘Blind Fury’ Rutger Hauer’s house? Supposedly he got a huge settlement a few years back and is just sitting on it. One of the hoodlum’s father works for the security firm that protects and put in all the alarms for what’s left of Detroit. They use this to get in and get out clean of places. But this is different once inside because bootleg Rutger Hauer ain’t having any this breaking in bullshit and just happens to be keeping a teenage girl chained up in his basement! I wasn’t super impressed by the movie but at least entertained and understood this movie was literally directed to the 16 -25 age bracket… For that I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Besetment (DVD/Vimeo) – A young woman named Amanda is in a tough spot. Having a tough time finding a job, mom acts like she is still a drunken teenager, and Amanda wants to move out. Amanda gets a weird phone call from a woman for a hotel about 160 miles away. She of course goes there to take the job at the Oregon Hotel. All goes well until the mom/son combo freak out and are pissed she went out for the night around town. Now they have her tied to the bed, impregnate her; sew her mouth shut as mom has plans for Amanda and her son. The film is shot wonderful, the characters are great, enjoyed the effort put into the project but we have seen this story before and sometimes it can be only told so many times? I give the movie 2 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Safari 3000 (DVD) – Eddie Miles is a US stunt car driver looking for a ride in the African race called “Safari 3000”. J.J. Dalton is a reporter for Playboy magazine who is covering the race but needs a race car and a driver to get her around the course for the story. Together they steal an engine and try to avoid traps set by Christopher Lee and his associate during the race to finish it and get the story. Eddie Miles is played by David Carradine in this entertaining bootleg of a bootleg of “Cannonball Run” and Roger Corman had nothing to do with this flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Screams of a Winter Night (VHS/YouTube) – A late 70s thriller about several friends go to an old cabin to tell stories to scare each other. Or the movie I am going to put on now when I have trouble sleeping because this shit was horribly boring! Avoid unless you have trouble sleeping as I give it zero stars.

 

Alien: Covenant (Theater) – Believe me I am still torn that they decided it was better to do prequels instead of sequels but I wanna see these alien creatures fuck people up. These movie creatures have always gotten my imagination rolling with where or what they could do next? But saying that, this film picks up ten years after the forgettable ‘Prometheus’ and a ship is out there with 2000 colonists that happen to get a rogue call or image from a nearby planet. They investigate their options as they are carrying 2000 colonists. Go check out this planet that was somehow overlooked by the company during scans or continue their voyage to this planet that is still over 7 years away in space travel? Of course they go to this planet and find it habitable until a couple crew members get sick and these creatures pop out of them and start attacking the crew on the ground. Then a dark figure happens to come by and help and it’s the android from the Prometheus and explains somewhat what happened… sort of? I am still mixed on the film for the mere fact it tries to explain where and how the aliens are made but also I can watch 28 different versions of “Aliens” movies and still come back for more. The film will still leave fans questioning some things but I do prefer this more than the last prequel. But for the love of Lance Henriksen gimme fucking sequels 20th Century Fox! The stories don’t have to connect just give me an “Aliens” flick every two years? I don’t hate it, I don’t love it but glad I checked it out at the theater as I give it 2 stars.

 

Scared Shitless (DVD) – Jim Roberts gave me a couple movies from his early filmmaking days and this is one of them as he teamed up with another young dude in Travis Schaffer to make a movie about a killer named “The Red Reaper”. Jim Jones lost his mother and sister to this “Red Reaper” a year ago and tonight is the anniversary and just wants some help from his friends. The friends show up, some fun poker playing begins, order the pizza, and then the killing also begins. As the killer is back trying to kill Jim Jones all because a pet fish died! Between that and seeing a young Jim Roberts in braces making one of his first projects entertained me. Now it isn’t “Mummy Sleepover Massacre” but still enough fun to watch as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Mark of Insanity (DVD) – Is another project from a younger Jim Roberts and his filmmaking buddy Travis Schafer where this story takes place at a Western Shop. A young guy named Wayne is quiet and just likes to be left alone to do his work. But after being picked on constantly about his family history and anything they can think of he snaps. After Jim has been pushed past his limits is when a masked killer shows up to start killing employees off. We even get a Leatherface dance from the masked killer in the film. Not as good as ‘Scared Shitless’ but still worth the watch to see the passion in Jim and others to get the project finished and out there. I give this Indy flick 1 ½ out of 4stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Yes, I have too!

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“Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film”

Hello fellow horror and independent film fans! Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Motherfucking YES! Well here’s your chance…

Mr. Sheets is one of the best independent filmmakers over the past 25 years and he is looking for some help or funds for more werewolves. And of course we all need more motherfucking bad ass looking werewolves in movies! So jump on this and be a part of something really cool.

Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film

Todd Sheets – This is my DREAM PROJECT! My favorite movie monsters have always been WEREWOLVES!!! And I have been so disappointed that there seem to be no true, old school, American made werewolf movies coming out these days that capture the spirit of movies like The Howling, An American Werewolf In London or Dog Soldiers. I want to make fans of those movies proud!!! My goal is to make a classic monster movie for our time!!!

Bonehill Road is a werewolf film, using all PRACTICAL EFFECTS in a truly exciting story!!!!

CLICK THE LINK: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/bonehill-road-old-school-werewolf-film-horror#/

TODD MOTHERFUCKING SHEETS!!!

Other Ways You Can Help

Some people just can’t contribute, I understand financial harships, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help:

  • Make some noise about this film and this funding campaign.
  • Please feel free to use all the awesome Indiegogo share tools!
  • If you cannot give money but you do Special Makeup Effects, contribute your skills!!!
  • Are you an artist who has Werewolf parts laying around?  Donate them!!!!  We need several different types of Werewolves!!!  Have a werewolf head that you made?  We’d love to use it for the film!!!  Especially articulated heads with moving jaws and such!

Lets make some Monsters come to LIFE!!!!!

Gross Movie Reviews #400

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Gross Movie Reviews #400

 

Zombie Croc (DVD) – There has been a disturbance in the small southern town of Raven’s Neck. The deputy Rivera is sent to investigate and all can be found is bloody human remains everywhere. Believed it was an animal attack the sheriff is not all too concerned with Popa Chicken and his hatred for the town’s mayor. Popa Chicken disgusted with the eviction notices so he and his friends can be moved out for big business Popa brings forth a giant croc. While the croc causes havoc in the woods the town’s only hope is the deputy and a guy called “Crocodile Jack”! As usual filmmaker Robert Elkins brings forth a bit of exploitation feel with lots of blood and guts on no budget. I easily could see this film on SyFy Channel or a Chiller Channel during the summer months. My only major complaint would be the running time but was warned by Mr. Elkins ahead of time as I give the monster croc film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. More about the filmmaker and his films can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/robert.elkins.5 .

Zombie Isle (DVD) – Once again Independent filmmaker Robert Elkins keeps the motto: No budget, no problem, as some students and their professor visit an inhabited island for research. The island doesn’t even show up on most local maps. But the students and the pervy professor are in for a surprise when they show up and attacked by flesh-eaters (shades of Fulci perhaps). But the other thing waiting there is an old abandoned army station that the professor knew about and its rumors of a scientist living there? Greeted by scary German scientist guy they become witnesses to a project almost perfected since World War II. Apparently Scary German Guy is working on a formula to perfect soldiers or zombies for war! Think of ‘Outpost’ meets ‘Re-animator’ with a sprinkle of Fulci on no budget as usual as I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details go check Robert at: https://www.facebook.com/robert.elkins.5 .

 

Arachnicide (DVD) – My hunger for mutant spider movies never ends as I find this oddity low budget flick about the government looking into big time drug dealer project. The project is a secret experiment on genetically-enhanced coco plants that will become full grown within hours to speed up the drug process. A small military tactical team is put together to invade a compound in Albania to destroy the heart of this experiment. Problem is the bad guys are smarter and have no plants there but genetically-enhanced spiders waiting to attack. A ‘Food of the Gods’ thing going here people as I give this oddity 1 ½ stars.

 

Anna (YouTube) – A short film that tackles two subjects in a very unique way. A young woman thought death would solve everything? But being undead and eating yourself sick doesn’t solve anything either… Pretty intelligent stuff from Forte Films Entertainment that is worth your time checking into and following them as I give it the short film 4 out of 4 stars. Find them at: www.fortefilmsentertainment.com and www.facebook.com/ForteFilmsEntertainment .

 

Easter Sunday (DVD) – Douglas Fisher is the serial killer known as “The Bunny Masked Killer” who went on a murderous rampage over 20 years ago on Easter. The police gunned him down but little they know Fisher’s offspring has survived and carries the secret of knowing who his father is. Now present day, the son Ryan Fischer and friends decide to have a drunken campfire and play with the spirit board. Ryan not believing in such a thing screams for his father to be brought back from the dead and contact them. The spirit board of course works and the spirit of Douglas Fisher now possesses Ryan and go dig up the old killer bunny mask. Now Ryan continues his father’s murderous rampage on Easter. I believe it’s a great concept for a slasher film that stars Robert Z’Dar and Ari Lehman. Plus the film has a great death scene by boiling water and has an awesome killer mask to market. But for me the film eventually falls a part in the second half with the film thinking it’s funny and no interesting characters outside of the bunny killer and Ari Lehman as the postman. I am not saying stay away from this holiday flick but I prefer ‘Easter Casket’ from Dustin Mills. You can purchase “Easter Sunday” at www.alternativecinema.com as I give this flick 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Sharkenstein (DVD) – In 1942 Germany, Hitler’s men raid a laboratory to steal Frankenstein’s brain and heart from a scientist for their own evil Nazi experiments. It is said that the heart and brain of the monster cannot be destroyed? Who said this is unknown? But fast forward to present time where vacationers have been disappearing at “Katzman Cove”.  A vacationing family has boat troubles and stumble upon a guy and his horrible German accent that has created ‘Sharkenstein’. A killer shark with the brain and heart of Frankenstein that is an unstoppable force! This horror mash-up is everything and more you expect from Polonia Brothers Entertainment. The only thing missing is Jon McBride randomly showing up as I give this hilarious mash-up 2 stars.

 

Yoga Hosers (DVD) – This latest Kevin Smith film stars Smith’s and Johnny Depp’s kids as “The Colleens” who are clerks at a convenience store in Winnipeg, Canada. The job is tough enough to work on a Friday night but when you are high school sophomores denied a chance to a senior party, it sucks. After learning about Canadian Nazis and fighting with their Phys. Ed. Teacher about real yoga in school they must go to the store. Once there they are greeted by little mini-Hitler sausage people known as the Bratzis. If things could not get worse the senior boy Hunter they adore invites himself and his bro to party at the store to sacrifice the girls to Satan because it is so metal! The boys are killed by the Bratzis and the girls are thrown in jail until they are broken out by Mr. Guy Lapointe to find the secret passage of the Bratzis to fight the evil. This “check your brain at the door” flick is absolutely hilarious and if by some chance you do not like it I say “sorry aboot that”. I give Smith’s latest 3 ½ stars.

 

Logan (Theater) – Damn this movie was really good! We are thrusted into the year 2029 where there is no more mutants (not fully explained but pay attention there are hints), Logan is a drunk and old and old Professor X is a babbling swearing idoit in Mexico. Wolverine just wants to make enough money to buy a boat for Professor X and himself and end it all. Calls it their only safe place left. But one night Logan is approached by a woman who wants to pay him for safe passage to a location in North Dakota for unknown reasons. After a second encounter he is introduced to a little girl named Laura, a mutant. Not wanting anything to do with this Logan takes the money knowing full well people will come looking and wanting to kill him and Professor X. But Laura aka X-23 is what Professor X has been ranting about and believes she is the answer, the hope they look for? Reluctantly as Logan knows he is dying he drives Professor X and the mutant Laura north to get them to Canada. But as Logan learns more about her he begins to feel for her as he knows she will have to face what he has always tried to run from? The film is by far the most violent of any X-men related films or Marvel (exception of Blade). The film is gritty, real, and just a bad ass superhero film that I know I have wanted (because of X-23) but fans of Wolverine for quite a while. This stand-alone movie proves violent comic book movies can be made and make a shitload of cash for the Hollywood execs! I won’t say it is the best flick of 2017 but don’t be surprised it shows up on my list at the end of the year as I give 4 stars.

 

Breeders (DVD) – I believe this hilarious flick where every woman must be naked is from the same guy that gave us ‘Mutant Hunt’, Tim Kincaid. A slimy ass alien roams the streets of Manhattan looking virgin women to rape! If that isn’t enough they eventually become possessed to travel to the alien’s nest under the city. Where of course the women once there are naked and rub each other down with white goo. I swear to you this 1986 film isn’t porn? But wouldn’t have been surprised it wasn’t marketed that way in certain countries. But hopefully a detective and a very concerned doctor can stop the madness or just watch the ridiculousness of it? I give it 2 stars.

 

Kickboxer: Vengeance (DVD) – Haven’t had enough of the first five films? How about a reboot where Jean-Claude Van Damme trains Kurt Sloan to fight Tong Po aka Dave Batista after Tong killed his brother in a special underground tournament. Kurt wants revenge and of course only JCVD and some random hot ass police woman can help you in Thailand. If a fan of the series you know what you are getting yourself into as I give it 2 stars.

 

Mad Foxes (DVD) – So you are looking for lost exploitation flicks? Look no further than this Corman-inspired rampage film where for 75 minutes is a back and forth fight between Kyle Martin and a Nazi motorcycle gang for no really good reason. The film’s highlights many naked women that Kyle has sex with, lots of hairy dongs, bootleg Chuck Norris dojo and friends, Nazi gang shootings, death by gardening shears, multiple penis hackenings, exploding toilet death, a gimp, and a song by Krokus! There is no real point to the film except for having the most over the top rampage thrown in your face! I give it 3 stars, now start looking for this gem.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

TERROR FILMS EXPANDS DISTRIBUTION REACH ACROSS 3 ROKU CHANNELS, iTUNES INTERNATIONAL AND VOD PARTNERSHIP WITH I BLEED INDIE

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Los Angeles, CA – Thursday, January 19th, 2017 – In their goal to bring the best indie horror to the widest possible audience, genre distributor Terror Films continues to grow their distribution arm by releasing their films across several new platforms including: 3 Roku channels via a partnership with Roku Developer UDU Digital as well as a newly formed VOD channel from I Bleed Indie and finally, a World Wide expansion on iTunes International with a global reach in over 15 countries. This is in addition to the company’s existing, strategic partnerships with Raven Banner Releasing in Canada and Automatic Entertainment, the distributors official foreign sales division.

The company’s films are expected to launch on http://ibleedindie.com in the next few weeks. The Roku pages are currently live and include Free Flix Tonight, 24 Hour Movie Channel and Free Grindhouse Flix Tonight. Roku customers can find the Terror Films page by searching the links below.

Free Flix Tonight

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/115772/freeflix-tonight

24-Hour Movie Channel

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/86186/24-hour-movie-channel

 

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Free Grindhouse Flix Tonight

https://channelstore.roku.com/details/119146/free-grindhouse-flix-tonight

Titles will include the entire 2016 slate: Antidote, Hell House LLC, The Dark Stranger, The Chosen, House of Purgatory, The House on Pine Street, Goddess of Love, Patient Seven and Landmine Goes Click with more titles soon to follow.

Terror Films Executive Joe Dain stated, “We are in exciting times in the digital and VOD world of distribution. If handled correctly, we can shine a light on some of the best indie horror films out there that you might not otherwise see from some of our larger distribution counterparts.  We not only give these indie films exposure on a massive level across multiple platforms but by doing so we give them a real chance of being financially successful for everyone involved”.

To learn more about Terror Films or to submit a completed feature film for distribution consideration, visit:

Official Website: www.terrorfilms.net

Official Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

 

 

TERROR FILMS RELEASES OFFICIAL TRAILER & POSTER FOR HOUSE OF PURGATORY

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Los Angeles, CA (July 20, 2016) – In September of 2015, genre distributor, Terror Films announced it had acquired Worldwide rights to the horror film, HOUSE OF PURGATORY by first time writer/director Tyler Christensen.

 

House-of-Purgatory-Movie-Poster-Tyler-Christensen

The film stars Brian Krause (best known for his eight-season portrayal of “Leo Wyatt” on Charmed), Anne Leighton (CBS’ Criminal Minds) and Laura Coover (ABC’s How To Get Away With Murder) and is about four mid-western teenagers who go looking for a fabled haunted house on Halloween night. Once finding it, they slowly realize that the house is much more than a run-of-the-mill Halloween attraction – somehow the house knows each of their deepest secrets. One-by-one the house uses these secrets against the terrified teens, who soon find themselves in a battle to save not only their lives, but also their very souls.

Terror Films Executive Jim Klock came across HOUSE OF PURGATORY at Fear Fete Horror Film Festival where it was an official selection and star Anne Leighton was nominated for Best Actress in a feature. The film also screened at Los Angeles’ Shriekfest.

The film will have a wide ancillary release, currently set for this Fall. Exact dates for the release will be announced soon, followed by exclusive clips. In the meantime, check out the official trailer and poster for the film.

Trailer Link: https://youtu.be/Prm3WSd90xM

ABOUT TERROR FILMS:

Terror Films is a Los Angeles based distribution label with a focus on horror, Sci-Fi and thriller films targeted for limited theatrical, Television and all major ancillary markets, including DVD, EST, VOD and all major streaming outlets. Their first film THE CHOSEN, starring YouTube Sensation Kian Lawley, remained in the Top 100 of Horror Films on iTunes for 8 consecutive weeks upon its release. Their second film TRACE opened exclusively on Redbox in all 40,000 locations followed by a wide ancillary release. The label recently released the award winning film LANDMINE GOES CLICK on DVD and is gearing up to release an impressive slate over the next 5 months of 2016, including their original Anthology PATIENT SEVEN starring Michael Ironside and Jack Plotnick; the documentary UNEARTHED & UNTOLD: THE PATH TO PET SEMATARY; GODDESS OF LOVE; THE DARK STRANGER; HELL HOUSE LLC and THE HOUSE ON PINE STREET.  The company is repped by Michael Sherman of Reed Smith LLP.

For more information on Terror Films, go to: www.terrorfilms.net

To submit a completed film for consideration, please send a screener link to: submissions@terrorfilms.net

 

 

Filmmakers… This film festival wants you!!!

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The Horror-on-Sea Film Festival is now open for film submissions until September 15th, so please make sure that you submit your new Horror films to our Festival A.S.A.P. Full details for submitting films can be found on the home page of our website – www.horror-on-sea.com

FullPage-horrorAd-2017

Blackburn Sets the Town Alight this August on DVD

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June 20th, 2016 – Vancouver, B.C.: Blackburn is set to release on DVD this August. Tombstone Entertainment will handle the release. A 3Brane Entertainment production, Blackburn involves a group of friends, trapped in an old mining town. From a script by Nastasha Baron and directed by Lauro Chartrand, this title stars: Lochlyn Munro (Poker Night), Jen and Sylvia Soska (“Hellevator”). Emilie Ullerup (A Little Bit Zombie), Sarah Lind (Wolf Cop) and Calum Worthy also star. All of these filmmakers have developed this hard R (restricted) horror feature, which now invites you to take a look at the official DVD artwork.

In the story, a forest fire forces five friends to take a detour. Lost and afraid, they seek shelter in an old mining shaft. But, someone or something lives in these dark depths. Now, this fivesome will have to fight back, against mutated miners and demented psychopaths, if they hope to continue living.

The official DVD artwork reveals more of the film’s story. The Blackburn Asylum, long since closed, still haunts the local woods. Its residents, forced out by its closure, roam inside this broken down building. Promising to “take people” many of the deformed monsters can be seen, in this official artwork. And, more on Blackburn will be revealed this Summer as the film nears its August 2nd, 2016 release date.

The official trailer for Blackburn is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg8wQi72atU

The official Synopsis: A forest fire and rock-slide trap five bickering college friends in a small Alaskan ghost town with a horrifying history. When they seek refuge inside the torched ruins of Blackburn Asylum, they must fight to survive as the angry inhabitants slaughter the friends one-by-one.

A fan page for the film: https://www.facebook.com/blackburnhorror/

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/BlackburnAsylum

Blackburn-Movie-Poster-Lauro-Chartrand

Gross Movie Reviews #371

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Gross Movie Reviews #371

 

By Tim Gross

 

Passed the Door of Darkness (DVD) – Two detectives that are having trouble catching a serial killer that is always one step ahead. The older detective finds out he has a brain tumor and is blacking out. Eventually he comes to the realization that the killer is him. The film fails to try and hide who is the killer from the start and just about put me to sleep trying finish the film as I give it a ½ star.

 

Wer (DVD) – The film begins with a family hiking it out in the middle of rural France only to capture their vicious animal attack that killed the husband and kid and scarred the wife, Claire Porter. Immediately, local authorities bring in a very large hairy man that doesn’t talk much and lived with his mother nearby the attack. This gets the attention of an American Human Rights Lawyer, Kathrine, who has a practice there and wants to represent the very large hairy man, Talan. The local authorities disregard that only an animal could do the damage it did and this man Talan has a rare disease that affects his joints, bones, etc. So it seems like a slam dunk for the lawyer to get Talan off from this brutal murder. But tests keep coming up inconclusive; the police know more than they are saying and Kathrine and friends dig deeper into Talan and his family and find a history like no other. That’s when the movie gets even more interesting when Talan escapes and begins a city wide murder spree! A werewolf flick with a whole different spin on the werewolf legend in this American/French production that was shot in Romania. On top of that I loved the creature and blood effects in this entertaining and refreshing spin on the werewolf genre. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Evil Bong 420 (DVD) – Who says, “You can go to the well too many times”? Apparently Charles Band ignores that phrase with this entry into the “Evil Bong” series. The film is a sequel of sorts to “Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong”, which the movie came inside a cereal box where the cereal tasted like a generic ‘Cookie Crisp’ in case you were not paying attention? Anyhow Sonny Davis’s character manages to break out of Eebee’s weed fog inside the bong reality and open up a topless bowling alley. Once, Charles Band makes sure all of the characters from both franchises made their appearances exception of Tommy Chong. Gingerdead Man makes his escape and Eebee is pissed as she comes back to take her revenge in capturing all who escaped. Thus setting up another sequel… I give it 1 star just for the mere reason I am still a fan of Charles Band, Sonny Davis, Robin Sydney, and David Decoteau made an appearance! Plus it doesn’t help the film come off as one long ad for Full Moon merch. Sorry Mr. Band you have a few websites for that.

 

Cyborg Cop III (DVD) – The film was originally called “Terminal Impact”. But honestly who is paying attention to that except for Jon Cross, maybe Ed Demko’s dad, and me? So Delta Tech builds cyborgs while a local news reporter is investigating this cyborg thing. She finds out about something she shouldn’t have and Delta Tech sends cyborgs after her. Lucky for her two lucky go happy bounty hunters happen to drive by and help her out. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

insane-poster-art

Insane (Vimeo/DVD) – One of my favorite hard working independent filmmakers Massimilano Cerchi is back with his latest release, “Insane”. The film is about a hot young couple buy their dream home off the internet and pictures don’t do it justice. But of course the weird neighbor just happens to stroll by and tell the young couple they are pretty much “doomed” if they stay because of the history of the home. Michael’s girlfriend Sarah is completely pissed off and wants to know why the realtor didn’t tell them this before they bought it. Michael of course believes it isn’t a big deal until the weird neighbor begins telling Michael of the stories about the murders that happened there. Michael becomes obsessed and begins filming everything and documenting anything to find evidence of something possibly supernatural in his new home. But just like the weirdo neighbor says, “You might not like what you find?” The evil clown is a nice touch but Cerchi’s approach of stripping down the bloated paranormal genre with few characters, not a ton of dialogue, and allowing the scenes tell the story make this feature refreshing and fun. I’m still not a big paranormal film fan but it’s nice to see there are still some entertaining and creepy ideas from great filmmakers out there! I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars as you can find out more about the flick and Mr. Cerchi at: https://www.facebook.com/massimiliano.cerchi?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

The Last Witch Hunter (DVD) – From the beginning this Vin Diesel flick could have been the next great horror film but internet geeks and word of mouth never allowed this movie to have a chance. Now saying that I am not saying this is one of the best movies out there I just believe anymore these days most movies don’t survive the harsh criticism of it before it is ever released. As I try to do if the movie exists I will give it a chance and that is what I did here. Vin Diesel plays a witch hunter who is not one by choice but becomes one after his family is murdered several hundreds of years ago and is guided by a man/priest given to him by the church. Michael Caine plays the latest who believes it is time to retire but wants to give Diesel’s character the full story of what the church is hiding. But he is killed, maybe? And Elijah Wood steps in to help or fuck shit up just to bring the original witch queen back from the dead. I wanted this movie to be so bad that I enjoyed it because of what I heard, example “Cursed” anyone? But it wasn’t… It’s not great but like I said, “it exists”. Maybe it would have been better without Vin Diesel as the ‘Last Witch Hunter’ and should have been a Rutger Hauer or Jeffery Combs? Who knows? But the point is at least watch the movie then decide if it’s as bad as a lot of people believe because I don’t as I give it 2 stars. This film just suffers from ‘never having a chance once thought went to paper’.

 

Appleseed: Alpha (DVD) – Another fun CG-animated sci-fi feature about a cyborg and his female partner just trying to make it in the wasteland and maybe save the world. The two are just trying to repay their debt to a shady guy who rules New York City. So when they go out the outskirts of the city to remove some unwanted cyborgs, they stumble across another cyborg and a girl who are traveling to complete a secret mission. The two unlikely couples decide to travel together but now have evil cyborgs and the shady dude from New York City trying to stop them from accomplishing their mission. These types of movies are fun stuff: “Resident Evil”, “Bio-Hunter”, etc. This is geeky, fun flick for someone like myself as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

John Wick (DVD) – Keenau Reeves jumps feet first into the action genre about a man who just lost his wife and has a dog and a bad ass Ford Mustang. He gets the shit kicked out of him, his dog gets killed, and his classic car stolen by some dumb ass mob kid. When word gets around whose car the kid stole people begin to panic as John Wick used to be a hitman that was flawless and stopped at nothing to kill all he was suppose too. From there the bullets fly and John Wick kicks ass. Even though I enjoyed the film two things bothered me as I watched it and maybe I am just a product of the 80s (Rutger Hauer, Arnold, Sly, Dolph, even a Jason Statham) but it seemed like Keenau just didn’t fit the role. Also I felt they built up the John Wick character a lot and he is easily captured and beaten up! I give the film 3 stars.

The Survviors

The Survivors (The Hack Collection Volume One) (Blu-ray) – Well the talented independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski finally granted my wish of doing a sequel to “Slasher Hunter” and did not disappoint at all. According to Steve, “it’s not just a sequel; it is a sequel to everything he has done.” If you have been following Mr. Rudzinski’s films they all have been leading to something or leave you wanting a little more and it all comes to this… Steve puts everything together in this latest project where ‘The Slashers’ are in complete disarray as Frank is in hell and they lack real leadership. Meanwhile, the group just known as “The Killers” is stronger than ever and keeps two steps ahead of the “Survivor Initiative” until now. “The Slasher Hunters” have some new allies (helps if you have seen some of Steve’s past films to understand some of the characters and why they are there) that includes one my favorite’s ‘Wolfster’. Wolfster is a character Steve came up with early in his filmmaking career I easily could have seen as a movie franchise with a new entry every 12 to 16 months? It all comes down to one final fight between The Slasher Initiative and The Killers leader Norm unless Frank finds a way out of hell? We also find out what was Frank’s worst mistake thanks to hell. This project is beyond hilarious, entertaining, and everything I have expected from such a talented filmmaker. Steve has a way of writing very likable characters good and evil that in my opinion makes him successful for the long haul. Steve this is one of the best independent projects I have seen in 2016 and hope to see a lot more as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars. The copy of “The Survivors” I have is part of “The Hack Collection Volume One” Blu-ray two-disc set that has bloopers, trailers, almost all of Steve’s movies and a lot more. Find out more about the film or purchase it at: www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com and https://www.facebook.com/SilverSpotlightFilms/?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

Land of Doom (VHS/DVD-R) – A lesser known C-grade Wasteland film that looked like it used the leftovers from Fred Williamson’s Eye-talian films. The Peter Maris film has a woman named Harmony trying to make her way across the wasteland just trying to get away from everything only to meet up with a man who is trying to get these ‘raiders’ to believe they can rebuild. Cannibals, killer snakes, horrible motorcycles, and no real ending (Thanks Metalstorm) are the highlights of this film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Marked (DVD) – Six years after a woman witnessed her father murdered and the murderer die in front of her is doing paranormal research for answers. Answers for what not totally sure but it is just another miserable entry into a bloated genre that is starting to rival the other bloated genre, ‘zombies’. I give it 0 stars.

 

Lost Souls (DVD) – A late 90s flick about John Savage, his wife, and kids just moved into a new home. His daughter happens to be autistic and some murdered children from years ago are trying to communicate through her after they find an old device in storage at the house. Every time the machine is turned on something paranormal happens. After a few twists and turns the family finds out it is the local sheriff with the murdering past. The movie was a TV movie that had a few showings on the now defunct channel UPN before going into obscure cheap paranormal DVD box sets. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Let Us Prey (DVD) – An Irish film about a new constable starting her job for a station in a small town. While walking the beat she witnesses a drunken kid run down a man. She takes the kid in but cannot find the man. Later the mysterious man is found by other officers and brought in to get a statement but refuses to speak but just stare. The mysterious no name man is put into a cell while they call a doctor and that is when things begin to get weird because anyone that is near the mysterious man knows their deep secrets. But what all inside the station don’t know he is there to collect souls before the stroke of midnight and everyone’s past comes back to haunt them in one way or another. The film starts slow but builds into a chaotic, bloody climax worth checking out. In the end, the movie starting off slow makes a lot of sense after watching it as this is one of those lesser known recent horror movies worth seeking out as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Gates of Hell 2: Dead Awakening (DVD) – Literally a sequel no one knew about and for good reason. From what I could stay awake for the film is very low budget and set in the early to mid-80s, never mind the dedication to Lucio Fulci. But anyway no zombies and barely demons on-screen that are brought forth by some stupid middle aged men who are also looking for a woman who has a medallion that is supposed to help them with conjuring some demons. The film was mostly shot in Fort Worth, Texas in 1986/1987 according to sketchy information I was able to dig up on it. But fuck it, the movie is so bad it shouldn’t exist so let’s stick with “Death Metal Zombies” and “Heavy Metal Massacre” for our fun bad stuff shall we? I give it 0 stars.

 

Indigenous (DVD) – The usual crap about stupid American college kids not listening and going to a waterfall in the middle of a dense jungle of Panama. Bad shit happened there supposedly but they don’t listen and go visit only to become dinner to a Chupacabra. But that’s when the movie gets interesting when a guy uploads his video to his social media and it goes viral within four hours causing a military to search for them and millions to watch on 24/7 news channels for their rescue. I liked the monster/Chupacabra looked like an extra form “The Descent” but I thought the movie was much better and interesting when the film took a serious turn in using social media as part of the storyline. Now, I thought if the movie would have continued that storyline instead of wasting storyline and film of the rich kids partying, bumping uglies, drinking, and repeat before they visit the Chupacabra? Then a lot more horror movie fans would be talking about and seeking out this monster flick. Sometime filmmakers it’s better to color outside the lines than keep coloring inside the lines of the same picture film in, film out. For that I give this movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Don’t forget you can come by the vendor table I will be at for a book, shirt, or a movie March 4, 5, 6th, 2016 at Pittsburgh’s Horror Realm Convention (for details: www.horrorrealmcon.com) and Cinema Wasteland April 1, 2, 3rd, 2016 in Strongsville, Ohio (for details: www.cinemawasteland.com) .

Refuge

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REFUGE

 

Highly Acclaimed Post-­apocalyptic Thriller Released by Gravitas

Ventures Coming to VOD, iTunes, Amazon Feb. 16

 Refuge

 

Refuge is a post­-apocalyptic thriller from Passerby Films. Refuge was enthusiastically received by audience s last year at multiple festivals around the world, including fan favorites ​Toronto After Dark​, ScreamFest​ and won ​Best Directorfor Andrew Robertson in Sydney a t Australia’s ​Fantastic Planet.

 

Refuge ​has been compared to Cormac McCarthy’s The Road​ as the austere s etting a nd large cast of villains are reminiscent of the world that film inhabits. Director Robertson says of the post-­apocalyptic universe: “I wanted to focus on a family living in isolation..to portray the quiet fear that would become the default if we all went into hiding after a big societal breakdown. I expect life would become a slow burn, interrupted with bursts of fear and violence.”

 

Refuge’s distributor, Gravitas Ventures, says of Refuge: “Gravitas is excited to be collaborating with the bold and innovative filmmakers behind Refuge and bring these new voices in horror to 100 million homes across North America.”

 

SYNOPSIS: Refuge chronicles the struggles of a family trying to survive in the wake of a deadly and mysterious catastrophic event that has brought America to its knees. Despite their efforts to remain hidden from the pervasive marauders and dangers that surround them, the family is ul timately discovered and forced to fight for survival. But, fighting back has its consequences.

 

*the fight begins on February 16th, 2016, when the film is available through VOD on: iTunes, Amazon Instant, Google Play, Vudu, XBOX live and Playstation Network.

 

Downloadable trailer link: https://app.box.com/s/41y1thubsvdrejmm2o9383ky7917ju8m

 

Website:www.refuge­the­movie.com

 

Release Date: February 16th, 2016 (VOD & Cable, US & Canada).

 

Distributor: Gravitas Ventures (http://www.gravitasventures.com​)