Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

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Grossfest is looking for Vendors!

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With the holidays over and the new year underway, why not get involved with a great up and coming independent horror convention, GROSSFEST! Saturday, July 20th, 2019

With our first year being a big success and vendor spaces selling out quickly, we have changed to a new location and are able to add more vendors! Located at
Doubletree hotel
340 racetrack road
Washington pa 15301

If interested please email us grossfest@gmail.com
Tables are only $50!

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest

 

Don’t forget if you are a filmmaker contact me about getting your film to our Grossfest contest?

Scotchworthy Productions has a deal for you!

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Scotchworthy.com 

https://www.scotchworthy.com/store-1/

Stop by the Scotchworthy.com store now for special discounts and free shipping!

Just in time to stuff some stockings with bloody good cheer, Scotchworthy is offering free shipping (domestic US only) on all merchandise in the Scotchworthy store AS WELL AS a newsletter only holiday discount!  Simply enter the discount code CHEER during checkout for an additional $3 off anything in the store!
SHOP NOW!!!

Happy Holidays and thank you again for all of the support.

Hello and thank you for supporting indie filmmaking and Scotchworthy Productions!  It’s been a very busy year for us and we’re excited to update everyone with all the great news!

Early in the year, Ben Lewandowski and the rest of the post production team finalized Skeletons in the Closet.  From there we prepped the movie for its world premiere at the Davis Theater on September 7th.  The event was an absolute blast!  From there we released the movie via Amazon, iTunes, and it became a featured release on PopcornFlix and FrightPix.
Skeletons in the Closet is also available NOW on blu-ray, which you can order from the Scotchworthy store, and we’re even providing a discount just in time for the holidays!  See the sidebar to the left for info.
A couple weeks ago, coproducers Ben Lewandowski and Tony Wash met with Skeletons in the Closet distributors Questar Entertainment and renowned horror director John McNaughton (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Wild Things) and his producer Steven A. Jones to discuss a partnership to bring Skeletons in the Closet the TV show to fruition!  Keep your fingers crossed as we plan the first season and gear up for the pilot episode.

The summer kicked off nicely with the release of Tony Wash’s third feature, The Rake.  Produced in 2015 and starring Rachel Melvin (Dumb and Dumber To) and Shenae Grimes-Beech (90210, Degrassi, Scream 4), The Rake has been considered “… a dark and twisted tale that had me guessing for the better part of an hour before it descended into total madness. I was a bit disappointed when it reached an abrupt ending, but it was worth taking the ride up to that point.” – Cody Hamman – Life Between Frames
The Rake is a psychological thriller sandwiched in a creature film ripe with brooding tension and eerie atmosphere, with stunning production design by Sarah Sharp, eye-catching cinematography by Robert Patrick Stern, and the terrifying practical special FX from Jason Kain that Scotchworthy’s reputation was founded on.
Rent/buy The Rake from every online outlet or cable provider or purchase a copy from scotchworthy.com NOW!

American Antichrist is the latest from filmmaker Dakota Ray

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American Antichrist is the latest full length feature from Denver auteur filmmaker Dakota Ray (The Rise & Fall of an American Scumbag, The Acid Sorcerer). The film is comprised of six vignettes that provide insight into a post-apocalyptic world inhabited by deviant and vile characters, including a serial killer (Dakota Ray) raised from the dead, who is haunted by visions of hell, a deranged religious fanatic (L.B.) , a sadistic drug dealer (Nick Benning) with connections to a snuff film ring, and a female drug addict (Meg Lacie Brown) who will do anything to get her next fix. American Antichrist takes the viewer on a bizarre, nihilistic voyage, full of evil, death, drugs, religion and immorality.

Cast:
Dakota Ray as The Antichrist
Nick Benning as Chris
L.B. as Benjamin
Meg Lacie Brown as Crystal
Damien Rimmon as Sid
& The Acid Jesus as Himself
Featuring the songs: ‘Masco’, ‘Taven’, ‘Tarasque’, & ‘Madeleine’ by Fallow
Produced By: Dakota Ray, Sebastian Oake and R.A. Productions
Written & Directed by: Dakota Ray

Official Trailer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QqZ-rMPrHxA

Indiegogo Presale Campaign:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/american-antichrist#/

Interview with Dakota Ray: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJDVlOcaTHQ&feature=em-share_video_user

American Antichrist Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/American-Antichrist-350101585480631/

IMDB Page: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8938526/

 

Dakota Ray Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100007959648925

New guest announcement for Grossfest 2019!

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For our next guest announcement is a pair like no other making independent horror films. They are raw, brutally honest, and have made some films that are absolutely disgusting and beautiful at the same time. The point is their films grab you by the naughty parts and make you pay attention! They may be the most talented duo out there in filmmaking land and have a constantly growing audience.  A lot of people know them as TOE TAG or as I would like to introduce them to the few that haven’t had the pleasure of meeting these talented young people I give you… Fred Vogel and Shelby Lynn Vogel! I believe the picture explains everything…

 

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest #grossfest2019

DoubleTree Hotel
340 Racetrack Rd.
Washington, Pa. 15301
1-724-222-6200
http://doubletree3.hilton.com/…/doubletree-by-hi…/index.html
We have a hotel block once again and rooms are $119 plus tax.

For anyone that wants to book their room for GrossFest the code for the discount is G19

Also people we didn’t go far from the original location (We like Washington, Pa. and they like us) but bar and restaurant will be open the whole time during the convention, plus the casino is only a short walk away, also for the out-of-towners always interested Primanti’s is a block or so away, plus this location is about a ½ mile from the exit off of I-79 and about a half mile or so from Route 19.

Once again we will have a great vendor room and movie room. But even better news people tickets are still only $10 for admission and vendor tables are still $50 each. VENDORS DON’T HESITATE to get your space. We sold out for our first show!

Gross Movie Reviews #451

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Gross Movie Reviews #451

 

Stanley (DVD) – Tim is a peaceful Indian who got drafted into the Vietnam War and is now back home in the everglades just trying to enjoy life his way. He finds peace with snakes he calls friends. Tim is very good at catching poisonous snakes and takes them to some Miami doctors so they can use their venom for anti-venom. But recently some poachers have been killing the snakes off nearby for their skins. Tim and his best friend Stanley the snake doesn’t take kindly to this and begin a fight with the poachers. A very weird early 70s film has that feel of “Frogs” and maybe “Squirm”. This lesser known flick does fit the tone of a “Deathdream” and other flicks of that era for that I give it 2 ½ stars. There is a lot of cool extras also worth tracking this disc down.

 

Eye of the Devil (DVD) – An old school black and white flick from the 60s that stars Donald Pleasence as the family priest! Do I need to say more? Some rich dude is called back home because the family vineyard is dying and some evil shit needs to go down for the vineyard to thrive again. I give the film 2 stars and Mr. Pleasence 4 stars as usual.

 

The Killing of Satan (DVD) – Another crazy ass film from the Philippines where a man is chosen to battle evil and eventually Satan. He must defeat Satan for the release of his daughter! The dude’s name is Lando, people are shooting laser beams from their hands and eyes, and apparently there are boulders that weigh less than air being thrown around. I really wanted to enjoy this film but fell asleep twice. I only give the film 1 ½ stars but totally believe this needs to be watched in a setting with beer and a group of people.

 

The Last Halloween (YouTube) – A lost TV show from NBC that only played once in October 1991. Get this folks the show stars Rhea Perlman, Richard Moll, and had Savage Steve Holland directing. Think of a cut up episode of “Goosebumps” that involves Martians landing in a small town looking for ‘cooby’ aka candy on Halloween night. The appeal of this never knowing it existed like the “Grinch Halloween” as I give this 2 stars.

 

Tank Girl (DVD) – This 1995 mess of a flick is what feeds the 90s being a bad decade for films. Oh this post-apocalyptic flick is total mess but after reading the bio and other information that has come out about the film over the years this film was a shell of what should have happened. Anyway it is 2033 and several years ago a comet hit Earth and made most of the water dry up. Now, a corporation called “W&P” and run by Malcolm McDowell own what is left of the water and will do anything it takes to ensure that. But Tank Girl or Lori Petty isn’t going to sit idly by it let them take what belongs to the people. Now remember folks this was a comic book movie made before “Guardians of the Galaxy” so studios didn’t give much effort to cult projects such as this or I should allow them to be themselves? I am not a Lori Petty fan but do not see anyone else at that time that would have pulled off the role. Also knowing what I know while watching this flick again it is ashame but it is still a bad movie mess as I give it 1 star. Maybe the project would have had a better chance now than then? Or it just needed the studio to let the crew do their thing… who knows?

 

Gunhed (VHS) – Here is a random B-movie from Toho Productions that was supposedly a “Godzilla” project in the early stages because of a contest. One thing led to another and it became something else as it set somewhere past 2025 on an island called ‘8-JO’. It is an island that is run by a supercomputer (Kyron-5) that became self-aware and declared war on humanity July 4, 2025. Over a year later the great ‘Robot War’ is still raging and computer chips are the new gold of Earth. Now as a Gunhed battalion launches its last attack on the island thieves are trying to swoop in and gather computer chips. The machines help kill off several characters quickly it’s up to a mechanic, a Texas Ranger, and two kids to stop Kyron-5 from restarting and taking over the world. It’s a Japanese version of the “Terminator” world with a little Full Moon “Robot Wars” thrown in as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Return of the Vampire (DVD) – A 1943 film that intrigue me for the mere reason it was supposed to be a sequel to 1932’s “Dracula”. It even starred Bela Lugosi as the vampire. Problem was this film was made by Columbia Pictures and the original was made by Universal Studios who were about to unleash some legal kick ass on the company for the project. So Columbia Pictures changed all the characters names including Bela as he was known as Armand Tesla. He is a vampire that haunts a family in 1918 and then believed to be killed and buried. But he is disturbed by a WWII bomb over 20 years later and his stake removed so he can haunt the same family again. Pretty cool vampire stuff worth watching if you are a Lugosi fan and a vamp flick fan as I give it 3 stars.

Leaf Blower Massacre 2 (DVD) – Anthony Cooney has returned with a sequel to his 2012 tribute to “Nailgun Massacre”. This time around it is a full feature not a short but both are now available on the same DVD. The masked killer with a leaf blower has returned and the bodies are piling up. Two detectives are stumped of who could be the murderer until the only conclusion they can come to is that a teacher Mr. Jennings knows them all. Even with Mr. Jennings as the main suspect students are still dying to detectives’ disbelief. The film has three scenes that make this a success in my eyes: leaf blower to the girl’s front garage, the killer with leaf blower wanders through a death metal gig and no questions, and I get my death by nails scene! Mr. Cooney sir I give you 3 ½ out of 4 stars for this greatness.

 

Cry of the Werewolf (DVD) – There is a legend about a woman named Marie Latour who turned into a wolf and killed her husband years ago. Immediately after she disappeared and has lived among the gypsies as their queen. Now a professor has been researching the legend and may have found the answers they all had been looking for to prove the legend of Marie Latour. So Ms. Latour goes back to her old estate to stop Doctor Morris and along the way may have found new love. But her new love is soon to be married so she turns the fiancée into follower of hers to help protect the legend of the wolf but again kill the soon to be husband. Fun stuff about werewolf movie lure like this film is the first film to feature a woman as a werewolf as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Mutilation Massacre (DVD) – A short film from Derek Braasch about a young woman who goes on a serious murdering spree after her father decides to remarry. The crazy bitch even goes all “Stepfather” and shit and gets facial reconstruction to change her appearance. But a bitter family member is not fooled! Check out Stephanie the serial killer at www.cheeviesfilms.com as I give the short film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

An Hour to Kill (DVD) – The latest project from independent filmmaker Aaron K. Carter is an anthology that the center pieces are hitmen. Gio – a grizzled vet and Frankie – the newbie are working together but the boss Mr. Kinski believes there is a leak within the organization. The boss gives Gio the new job and wants it done in an hour. So the two drive to a location for the hit and share horror stories: one features five women and a Nazi bunker, a second story about a prank gone wrong, third story about what you got to do to make the bowling team? And of course the wrap around are the two hitmen and their boss. A well-rounded, entertaining, and no weak parts in this anthology from Rotten Productions that made me laugh quite a few times as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. For more details or purchase a copy: AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JMN34GR

TRAILER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5as7mXJPrvA&t=2s

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests.

 

90’s Horror Slasher “MR. CLEAVER” Coming to DVD on September 28th.

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September 20th, 2018.- Reel Nightmare Films is releasing their popular horror slasher “Mr. Cleaver” on DVD on Tuesday September 28th via Amazon.com.

 

Directed by Nikolaus Wendelsdorf, “Mr. Cleaver” has been described as: “A sex, drugs, and gore throwback to the straight to video slasher movies of the early 90s.”

 

The official synopsis reads: “Seven gutter punks break into a seemingly abandoned warehouse only to find themselves hunted by its bloodthirsty owner.”

 

“Making a full-course meal out of its lean budget, Mr. Cleaver is a guaranteed crowdpleaser for viewers craving juicy horror moments and a big slice of nostalgia during this Halloween season;” says Armand Petri of Reel Nightmare Films. “We are thrilled to be releasing this fun and hard-to-find slasher on DVD for all horror collectors out there.”

 

“Mr. Cleaver” is currently available On Demand on Amazon Prime Video in the US, UK & Germany; and it’s also available to international audiences on Vimeo On Demand.

 

A DVD pre-order of “Mr. Cleaver” at Amazon.com is now available here: https://amzn.to/2MRcciW

 

Trailer (NSFW):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGeJaONuJgk

 

Purchase links:

 

Prime Video USA: https://amzn.to/2QIrN7T

Prime Video UK: https://amzn.to/2NVnLua

Prime Video DE: https://amzn.to/2PLPAlK

Vimeo On Demand: https://bit.ly/2Bovri2

DVD Amazon.com: https://amzn.to/2MRcciW

 

IMDB: https://imdb.to/2po1MOs

Reel Nightmare Films on FB: https://bit-url.com/fYac

Cynthia is a horror comedy from the mind of Girls and Corpses magazine creator Robert Rhine!

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West Hollywood, CA (Tuesday, September 11th, 2018) – Cynthia is a horror comedy from the mind of Girls and Corpses magazine creator Robert Rhine. In the film, a desperate mother gives birth to the most hideous child ever imagined. From directors Devon Downs and Kenny Gage, this title stars: Scout Taylor-Compton (Halloween, 2007), Sid Haig (House of a 1000 Corpses) Bill Moseley (Repo! The Genetic Opera), Robert LaSardo and many others. Many of these filmmakers were at the film’s recent theatrical premiere (August 31st). Now, Cynthia will be re-birthed on Digital platforms and DVD this September, through Indican Pictures.

Robin (Taylor-Compton) and Michael (Kyle Jones) are ready to start a new family. After years of fertility treatments, something has changed in Robin’s womb. On the delivery table, a monster is born. But, Robin still loves this six-fingered and one-legged crawling nightmare. Will her neighbors be just as accepting? Probably not.

Cynthia has recently garnered an award at this year’s Independent Filmmakers Showcase. Here, Sid Haig won a “Best Supporting Actor” prize. Now, after a well received theatrical run, Indican Pictures will bring the malevolence and the laughs to home theatre systems. On September 18th, Cynthia will debut on Digital platforms and DVD. Don’t miss the birthing terror that is Cynthia, this September!

The trailer for Cynthia: https://vimeo.com/273992352

Grossfest 2019 announcement

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Well Grossfest fans and vendors it is the announcement you have been waiting for… Grossfest 2: The Grossening, The Gross Return, The Gross Revenge, Gross the C.H.U.D., The Devil’s Gross, you get the picture folks. It happens Saturday, July 20, 2019! So yinz start making reservations now and get your vendor tables now.

So we have bad news, awesome news… Bad news is we had to change venues because the general manager of The George Washington Hotel and us Grossfest crew could not come to an agreement. Awww… but ready for the awesome news? We found a new home almost immediately with a big thank you going to ‘The Bootleg’ Gross Jennie Lynn.  As Tom and Terrence checked out the venue and it’s a done deal! With the success of Grossfest the great word of mouth of the event has been heard. The new venue is:

 

DoubleTree Hotel

340 Racetrack Rd.

Washington, Pa. 15301

1-724-222-6200

http://doubletree3.hilton.com/en/hotels/pennsylvania/doubletree-by-hilton-hotel-pittsburgh-meadow-lands-PITMPDT/index.html

We have a hotel block once again and rooms are $119 plus tax.

Also people we didn’t go far from the original location (We like Washington, Pa. and they like us) but bar and restaurant will be open the whole time during the convention, plus the casino is only a short walk away, also for the out-of-towners always interested Primanti’s is a block or so away, plus this location is about a ½ mile from the exit off of I-79 and about a half mile or so from Route 19.

 

Once again we will have a great vendor room and movie room. But even better news people tickets are still only $10 for admission and vendor tables are still $50 each. VENDORS DON’T HESITATE to get your space. We sold out for our first show!

Stay tuned for upcoming guest announcements as we begin our process of putting together another fun independent film convention. And again thank yinz all for the support! #grossfest #grossfest2019

www.grossfest.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111/

 

One more thing… filmmakers we are having the Independent movie room again and Grossfest awards will be given out for ‘Best Feature’ and ‘Best Short Film’. So get your submission in. In order for your film to be even considered “WE NEED A PHYSICAL COPY”! There is no cost for the submissions just get us your DVD to be eligible! Just contact one of us (Tom, Terrence, Tammy, Jen, or me) to get details where to send your DVD.

 

Gross Movie Reviews #447

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Gross Movie Reviews #447

 

Megalodon (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Navy ship defies orders from its admiral (Michael Madsen) in order to try and save a shipmate and her experimental sub that is swallowed up by a monster shark. The monster shark is loose because the Russians were supposedly at the bottom of the ocean trying to tap into the pipeline. The Navy could never find evidence of it but now they have if it if they can survive the attack of this prehistoric shark that is now trying to destroy the ship. The film was fun for about 15 minutes but I couldn’t take seriously Michael Madsen as he doesn’t fit into a military outfit let alone the U.S. Navy. But whatever as I give this limp noodle of a shark flick 1 star.

Santa Jaws (SyFy Channel/DVD) – So this may have been the underrated treat of “SyFy Channel Shark Week”. A teenager who is an aspiring comic book artist is grounded for Christmas and told he will miss the comic book party. He opens up an early Christmas present which just so happens to be a magic pen. With this magic pen the teenager Cody begins drawing his latest comic adaptation ‘Santa Jaws’. It is literally a great white shark with a Santa hat on its fin that begins to track down Cody’s family and eats them on Christmas Eve. Once Cody knows that Santa Jaws is real he must convince everyone else and figure out how to get rid of this jolly man-eater. There are a lot of corny holiday bad jokes, the subplot of the Cody trying to talk to the cute girl across the street, and the weird comic book dude that hits on all women. Before you start bitching why this movie shouldn’t exist, remember there was “Santa Paws”… So check your brain at the door and keep this on the back burner for the holiday season as I give this holiday film 3 stars.

 

Frenzy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Starts off like a found footage film but corrects itself into complete crap that makes root for the characters to die of a quick horrible death. But apparently the filmmaker watched “The Swallows” on a continuous loop for a month and an idea to appeal to younger horror fan… maybe? The Lewis sisters and friends have a YouTube show where they go adventures and such and record it for their online shows. This episode has them filming as they illegally get someone to take them into a protected sanctuary just so they can say they were there. Of course the plane has problems and they crash in the ocean only to become fish food for some hungry sharks. I literally hate watched this film about ten minutes in and wanted all the characters to die cause sad part is I could see real life dumb asses doing this to begin with. Anyway… get off my lawn as I give this piece of garbage 0 stars.

 

Nightmare Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Now, I am not saying this shark movie was great or anything but have to say kudos for a different shark film. A doctor finds a way to reach out to shark attack victims for an experimental group therapy weekend. He claims to be working on a drug to help cure the nightmares they all have about the same shark. A shark that Dr. Novak may have seen when he almost died in Hawaii a few years before and it asked him to serve the shark god. So yes Dr. Novak has bad intentions once all members of the group have arrived. But remember it is about nightmares so not all you will see is true or basically imagine if Freddy Krueger was an ugly shark trying to kill you in your dreams. Just weird enough it kept me interested and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A crazy off the wall post-apocalyptic flick where war has turned most of the world into a wasteland and an alien has decided to visit. The alien is there to gain information on how to stop their world from killing each other in war but soon understands there is no hope on Earth either. John Saxon plays a militant madman trying to win a war who only answers to Richard Lynch and has a bodyguard played by James Lew. Did I forget to mention Michael Berryman shows up in drag, Matthias Hues comes off as a wrestler in the future who lost his way from the movie set of “I Come in Peace”, Al Leong is hanging out with the bad guys watching Michael Berryman stab a dude in a bar fight, and there floppy disks may help save the world from John Saxon. Bad movie gold my friends and deserves to have a Blu-ray as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

6-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Married couples on an island for a couple retreat or boot camp to help them get back what they once had. This is disrupted by a six-headed shark that may have been the results of an experiment over 30 years ago on the other side of the island? Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this film may have had the whiniest and bitchiest characters of all time! I so wanted the six-headed shark to be thrown like a Chinese star through the island when the bad weather arrives in the film. Thus ending this feature quickly as these people needed to die. No one here was likable. I really hope films like “Frenzy” and this sequel do not become a trend in horror movie making because it just plain sucks out loud! I give it 0 stars.

 

8-Bit Bloodbath (DVD) – A twenty minute film about a gamer named Billy who is invited to a Halloween party but becomes a sacrifice instead. But Billy rises from the dead as an undead 8-bit super zombie who seeks revenge against mankind. Once undead he slaughters people with his various weapons he is able to produce out of his zombie Nintendo glove. The independent short film is raw but very entertaining and reminds me a little of the Polonia Brothers early stuff shot on VHS. Todd Wolfson has my attention with this film and his trailer for ‘Sponge’ which looked very funny and entertaining. I give this fun short film 3 out of 4 stars and cannot wait to see what is to come next from Mr. Wolfson and crew. For more info on this project check out:  https://www.facebook.com/8BitBloodBath/

 

Patient Zero (On Demand) – A UK flick that has the world being infected by a super rabies virus. It started with animals but mutated once it got into humans causing them to become raging violent maniacs. With the population being decimated quickly the military grasps at straws with their research and trying to find ‘Patient Zero’ for answers on how to cure people. But there is a slight hope as a man helps the research on a daily basis as he was bitten but never turned. With this he is able to communicate to the infected and hopefully using this power helps them all find the cure. Problem becomes the infected are evolving and want not a war but everyone to be infected. A very curious alternative horror film that is a reminder of how good “28 Days Later” was and how I am surprised not to see more films like this made over the years? I give this interesting flick 2 ½ stars. I may have given it a better rating but wasn’t really impressed with the non-ending.

 

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (SyFy Channel/DVD) – And just in case for those of you counting at home this is “Sharknado 6”. When we last seen Fin, he was in the future with his son (Dolph Lundgren) and he was going to help his father to get back to the past. Now, Fin ends up in prehistoric times and finds most of his family as they fight a Sharknado at key points in history. Along the way they are trying to find Fin’s son (no longer Dolph Lundgren because it was cheaper I guess?) so they can meet up. But after killing off a bunch Sharknados their flux capacitor goes awry and they end up in 20013 or something… Basically ‘Planet of the Aprils’! The movie goes completely absurd but does a much better job of going absurd than the past two sequels as this entry was much more entertaining of how they are trying to stop the Sharknados for good. It was a wonderful movie idea they ran into the ground but I am glad it exists for the mere reason it got people who usually wouldn’t pay attention to this kind of film to pay attention. So thank you Sharknado for the good and bad shark movie sequels as I give this entry 2 ½ stars. Also I give it three years before it gets remade???

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.