Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2022” list

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(There were actually a lot of good films this year as many as bad films… Hell I literally could have done a list of “worst of 2022” but let’s stick with the best for now as there may be a surprise or two in there also as I made sure I listed the honorable mentions.)

1) Crimes of the Future (On Demand) – David Cronenberg, I love you for not giving up the fight of making something that people will have trouble ten years from now wrapping their brains around this wonderful piece of filmmaking. This filmmaker is one of a kind and he proves it again as he dives into body horror of the future where the human body is changing and of course the government wants to know why and track it. “Surgery is the new sex” and all comes back to human evolution and what is considered wrong as the film centers on two characters are performance artists who use their bodies in a unique way. But just when you think you have the film figured out it gets turned sideways… again. Try to review this without giving too much away for the mere reason I want people to see this and form their own opinion about it as I know there is a good chance this film will be in my ‘top three films of 2022’ as I give it 4 stars. Favorite quote of the film comes from Viggo as he says to Kristen Stewart, “I am not good at the old sex?” Watch it and you’ll understand…

2) Hack-in-the-Box (Dropbox) – Holy mother F’N balls kids! This perfect short film from Zane Hershberger (see me in person to listen to me destroy his name with my Yinzer accent) has four bad ass women preparing to take on an unknown demonic force from a music box. To their horror what comes for them they couldn’t have prepared enough! As this old school blend of ‘Evil Dead’ and “Empire Pictures” project would make a young Sam Raimi blush then sign Zane to a multi-picture deal to his production company! What is Hollywood’s loss is the independent community’s gain because Zane, the actresses involved, and crew behind them should be all Hollywood bound as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and the early front runner on my “Best of 2022 list”.

3) Glorious (Shudder) – In the vein of finding horror films that have no right being this good I dare you to go watch what I believe will be in my “Top 5 films of 2022”. We are given the character Wes who is in a bad place in his life after a break up with the girlfriend. Confused, depressed, partying around a fire by himself at a rest stop off the highway, (I enjoyed the scene of him breaking his cell phone). Next morning Wes heads into the bathroom to take care of things which after he finds himself talking to an evil glory hole! Here Wes and a god try to hash things out about saving the world as we know it. The movie is so simple and fun you will be surprised how much you will enjoy this very smart horror film as I give it 4 stars all the way!

4) Deadstream (Shudder) – Shawn is an internet influencer who faces his fears and streams it. Immediately I am already annoyed this movie is gonna be dumb, lazy, and a waste of my time. But I was super wrong as Joseph Winter aka Shawn who is also a co-director and co-writer of the film plays one of the biggest douchebags in film perfectly. Shawn explains after some trouble six months back and losing all of his online sponsors he is back for one big streaming show. He is going to face his fear of ‘GHOSTS’ as he is going to explore and stay the night in a notorious haunted home called “Death Manor”. This will all stream live as Shawn goes through, set up cameras, and makes sure his fans call him out if he tries to flee the house. As Shawn sets up everything in the home he goes over the house’s paranormal history and the stories of those who died here. Shawn being the scared douchebag he is almost leaves several times from noises, etc. This is after he breaks a very important drawing in a closet and then runs into superfan Chrissy and this where this entertaining as hell horror film won me over big time as it takes another unexpected turn? Without spoiling too much the film finds a way to give you a splash of “Evil Dead”, talk cancel culture, a couple jump scares, give a wonderful hated douchebag character, and do a lot of kick ass practical effects!  Not only is this one of the best horror films of 2022 this makes me look forward to what Joseph Winter and Vanessa Winter have in store next for horror fans as they rock as I give this movie 4 stars and you will hear me talking about it again at the end of the year!

5) Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. 

6) The Sadness (Shudder) – Honestly I don’t know if more can be said about this wonderful virus infection flick from Taiwan other than it will be on my “Best of 2022 list”. The pandemic is the backdrop and the virus has yet mutated again according to background news reports that like most of us we are not paying attention. But this mutation is different as those who are sick soon go into a fit of rage, rape, murder, and even a little cannibalism. As most of the population has lost its mind two young lovers try to navigate the city to find each other again! But what separates this “The Crazies” type of film from a lot of horror films is the violence, gore, the madness ramps up as the film goes along. When one crazy thing happens, give it ten minutes and you get to see something even more nutzoid! The film was wonderful, beautiful and played just right but funny thing and this is just me nit picking at shit but I can honestly say I wanted let’s just say a little happier ending without spoiling the fun? Anyway I still give this horror flick 4 stars and must see for horror fans this year. 

7) Curse of the Queerwolf (DVD) – This 1988 no budget film is about Larry who is just a normal guy who when he hangs out with his best friend goes screwing around with random women. Then one night Larry learns the hard way things are not what it all looks like when a transvestite bites him on the ass! Now Larry is losing his mind because he is having nightmares of wearing women’s clothes and physically changing. Luckily for Larry he almost kills a gypsy with his car and she tries to help him out because there is somehow a full moon every night. And if he doesn’t take her help he could always insert a silver sex toy to end the curse? First, this was one of those films I have always wanted to check out and finally had a reason too and so glad I did because it is so ahead of its time. Second, now saying that I can easily see people’s heads exploding when watching this film and taking it out of context? It is smart, funny, and entertaining as I give it 4 stars as this film should be more celebrated.

8) Accident Man (DVD) – Scott Adkins 2018 film and possibly one his best to date that has Scott playing a hitman named Mike Fallon who makes his hits look like an accident. Things are good for Mike as he is paid well to make things look like an accident until he gets a call about his ex-girlfriend has died but things don’t add up as Mike finds out a few details. Mike quickly looks into the death and finds not only was a hit put out on her but she was pregnant with his child. Blaming himself Mike wants answers but his teacher Ray Stevenson has always said “Don’t get involved”. Mike breaks this rule immediately and after several bad ass fight scenes finds out he has been set up and her hit was ordered by his boss Milton! This not your average hitman action flick and I dare you to watch and not say this isn’t possibly one of the best Adkins starring flicks out there as I give it 4 stars.

9) A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

10) Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Worst film of 2022

(Horrorhound and the people thinking doing another Jeepers Creepers flick should be ashamed of themselves. Also fun fact: Jeepers Creepers is the first franchise to have two entries into the Gross Movie Reviews “Worst Movie of the Year”)

Jeepers Creepers Reborn (On Demand) – AKA part 4 aka the biggest fucking turd of 2022 for horror movie fans! Yes look no further than this crap storm for “worst film of 2022”. Anyhow its 23rd day of the 23rd Spring of whatever who actually gives a flying farthole all you need to know the monster aka a horrible grainy Playstation online game has come to life! Once what could be a great monster is now a poor excuse for a reboot not once but twice with this one being propped up by lets say an “unnamed shitty convention” but lets stick with the crappy film. This time around a young couple traveling to an outdoor horror festival that celebrates killers is set near the ‘urban legend’ of the “Creeper”. Hell, for shits and giggles they claim the first three films are fake to help propped up this so-called pile of elephant shit! Anyhow winners of the “Creeperfest” win a chance at the ‘Creeper Escape room’ at that the legendary house. The only thing going for this monkey turd is the townsfolk is in on the “Creeper legend” but while all yinz whine about the newest “Halloween” flick just remember this already forgotten cartoon poo got shit out there in the viewing universe as I give it nothing and will be my pick for “Worst film of 2022!”

Honorable mentions – (A lot of cool flicks that you may have heard of but haven’t seen or a few that you never knew existed but wanted to put them out there for yinz… These are no particular order)

Amityville Christmas Vacation (www.stevebuster.com) – That famous holiday/horror/love story plot has finally come to the Amityville series (entry #39 for those who are counting) in the form of Steve Rudzinski’s (Caroushell 1 & 2 fame) latest project. A familiar character from the “Steve Universe or Meowy Universe” in the form of Wally Griswold has won a random Christmas vacation trip to Amityville! Wally arrives at a bed and breakfast in Amityville that is the “second most famous haunted house” where a ghost named Jessica kills all who stay there. But this time it’s different as it the happiest time of the year, it is Christmas! And Wally and Jessica are having the time of their lives this holiday season. But there is an evil plan behind all of this and none of it had a ghost and a clueless detective falling in love in Amityville on Christmas? Move over Mark Polonia, Dustin Ferguson, Thomas J. Churchill, and Shawn C. Phillips just to name a few as Steve gives not just an entertaining entry into the endless series but hilarious entertaining energy of a story that will make you laugh out loud a few times. Steve’s intelligence behind the camera and his extremely talented cast not just poke fun at the series but also give the never dying series a watchable entry for the first time in several years as I have to give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Hell Van (DVD) – Jorge Delarosa spent almost five years and $5000 putting this passion project together.  If there is anyone that is talented enough to tackle Satanic shit in independent films and not get lost a quarter of the way through, it would be the talented Jorge Delarosa. The setting is a small town called Midway, Texas where everyone knows everyone. After a suspect accused of church burnings burns a church full of kids goes on the run and commits suicide in his van bizarre events begin to happen. Anyone that approaches or is connected to this possessed van die a very horrible death and only Sheriff Redhorse can stop this madness! Mr. Delarosa doesn’t just make a typical possessed car film but tackled it to the ground with such force that the film comes off as Mr. Delarosa shows off how talented he is behind the camera in all forms. We have explosions, burning people, eyeballs being ripped out, zombies, interesting characters you care about, chaotic satanic images to help tell the story, and the music is just the icing on the cake (music is usually forgotten in Indy films not understanding it can enhance the viewing experience). If you didn’t know what I already knew you will after watching this satanic blessing of filmmaking that Mr. Delarosa is an independent filmmaking force that needs more attention. And his latest film is a wonderful blend of Satan, horror, and blood without losing its way of telling a story as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as ‘Hell Van’ will be a favorite among independent horror fans for years to come. 

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Black Phone (On Demand) – I enjoy being late to films and social media unless its “V.F.W.” remember who told you that film was bad ass but anyway I finally found myself watching this new Ethan Hawke (aka maybe the new Rutger Hauer?) film. The film is set in 1978 Denver, where a serial killer or kidnapper nicknamed the “Grabber” is grabbing kids under 18 years old over a several month period. Finney and his sister Gwen talk about it but don’t think about it too much until Finney’s best friend gets snatched and Gwen has a dream about where the kid might be? From there it isn’t too long before Finney is grabbed by the “Grabber” who wears several faces and keeps him in a soundproof basement. The “Grabber” is fascinated by Finney as he doesn’t play the games with him the other victims did as Finney begins to talk into a disconnected black phone where it is the past victims trying to help? I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this flick after watching the trailer and seeing what others have said but I got to say I was pleasantly surprised with this horror/thriller and definitely give it my approval to all of yinz to give it a watch as I give it 3 stars.

Helsinki Mansplaining Massacre (On Demand) – An interesting 15 minute short film concerning a couple who is in a car accident and rescued by a group of men. But rescued is used loosely here. These men’s egos bruise easily as they all believe men are superior and women are only good for housework and breeding. Now Essi is just trying to survive these morons and trying to escape a bad relationship. It’s hilarious, it’s fun, and relevant as I give it 3 stars.

Trash Removal (DVD) – Rising star Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering has had her latest released onto an anthology “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2”. This fun short film has a group of individuals picking up trash in the woods near by an old chemical spill for community service. It doesn’t take too long for this boring day of community service to be interrupted by a killer trash monster! Hilarious characters get destroyed quickly by the cheeseball monster which this short film easily feels like a lost SOV title you would find on the dusty shelves of your favorite independent video store ‘insert name here’ in 1992 next to a “Cannibal Campout” or “The Slayer” where alphabetical order didn’t matter like in the one I went at that time! Fun times with Maddie as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this project that can be found on “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2” at www.sovhorror.com .

Hellraiser (Hulu) – The new entry of the series has the puzzlebox, the chains, the music, the pain, the pleasure… okay horror kids I am in as this entry of the Cenobites went out there on a limb and gave fans what they wanted… “A one-off that made actual fucking sense, wasn’t non-sense, a piece of shit only done for movie rights issues, or had FAT PINHEAD!” Anyhow a woman named Ry still fighting her addiction to drugs accidentially begins to solve the puzzlebox and opens a doorway that scares her but also intrigues her of how this thing exists why people would be interested? After losing her brother to the box she become consumed with solving the box to bring him back as if you are able to go through all the phases you are able to “get an audience with GOD”. But while deep into this takes her and friends down a dark path of pain and pleasure they are not ready to experience… This is the best entry since Part 3 and it was nice it felt like it tried giving what fans have wanted for over two decades now as I give this entry 3 stars and hope there is more?

Werewolf by Night (Disney Plus) – First I believe this caught some horror fans by surprise this was made and taken seriously. Based on some comics this film takes a stylish approach of making it look old school which worked out well in my opinion from the actors to the werewolf itself. But the center of the film is the “Master of the Bloodstone” has died and there is a gathering of monster hunters to have a chance to lay claim to this stone which pretty much means royalty. Out of this group of death dealers if they survive and slay the creature that is in the maze they can lay claim to the stone but not all are who or what they seem as there is a werewolf among them. Who is the hero, who is the villain? It’s a fun quick 50 something minute movie that was a lot of fun for me to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Grand Samurai: A Warrior’s End (Extended Cut – Blu-ray) – So I felt it was time to sit down and watch Dan Komarek’s epic five hour film. Yes folks, “The Ninja Master” weren’t enough abuse knowing I would watch this bullshit this talented jagoff Mr. Komarek released this fucking shit! Anyhow I thought like most reviews I would try to give you the basics but not this epic film I thought I needed to share my notes as written when watching this thing last Sunday morning that led into my afternoon. Dan decided there needed to be a movie with more walking than ‘Lord of the Rings’ ever could film so eat your heart out Peter Jackson. Back to the film as it opens up very promising with this huge ‘Conan-esque’ beginning talking about a thousand years ago and now… then immediately let down with two dudes showing up on screen whatever their parents allowed them to wear that autumn weekend to shoot? You expect costumes, swords, huge swords… Nope, Dan laughs in the face of being reasonable. We get a little backstory between Paul and Lee which Paul has to train to become a samurai. Which first question that will hit your mind “Yinz know yinz are white more out of shape than I am?” But hey kids let’s not a bad idea get in the way of making a bad film as they begin to walk, then walk a little more, then walk a little more only to decide they will go on journeys for a sword and a tournament that isn’t really clarified but then walk some more. This is where Paul (yes there will be a samurai named… Paul) goes on his four or so hour journey movie time of training. If there isn’t endless narration be the Lee character aka Dan Komarek where he clearly had a tummy tuck at some point between filming there is more walking and what I feel was an hour of “In Memoriam” segment for someone I don’t know? But then it got real interesting when ‘real time filming’ by Dan Komarek happens as he films himself basically taking a spill into a raging river when misjudging some rocks to cross it just to do a random sword fight scene oh excuse me a stick fight! At one point during the first hour or two of walking it seems like the camera isn’t filming as much as stalking the Paul character who by the way is still training and looking for his friend Lee. Then when Paul cannot go any further he drops to the forest ground to start humping the ground which I read into the subtext of ‘humans raping the world’ but that can be debated another time. But hey did I mention there is a book on how to be a samurai that is introduced into the film an hour in as when approaching the 75 minute mark we get the ‘final fight’. Why do I know this? The characters only announced this several times as they try and I mean try to somersault their way off of picnic benches. But just shortly after if not paying attention we do gets bootleg Richard Moll from “Sword and the Sorcerer” sending Paul yet on another quest for a sword. So about 88 minutes they are informed this sword they are on a journey for is a sword for a tournament to end all tournaments and we haven’t even gotten to the first one. If you need a laugh the scene ends with the neighbor’s dog attacking someone off screen in the background. So as they keep walking again the two find a village where they sleep for a month (don’t ask) again this leaves the Paul character alone as he mourns for his heterosexual life mate Lee. Then there is more walking… inner monologue… more walking… Paul walks through all four seasons through the same patch of woods. Then 129 minutes in Paul gets fucked up on a snowy tree stump and instead of Dan putting down the camera he still films Paul now limping instead of walking, clearly injured… (but, it’s for the art man!)  Literally that was the point I waiting for the Benny Hill music to start as it followed a limping Paul through the snow. After more walking about the 145 minute mark we get to hear Dan Komarek directing the movie while doing a couple lines of dialogue in the mouth of a cave or I like to think a sewer pipe? With more walking comes more training and at the 165 minute mark I begin to wonder if the journey isn’t for a sword but for the two come to grips with their love for each other? I come to this conclusion as the two come to a beach in their long journey and gazing at each other while plotting on them doing more walking through the woods. Which shortly after this the filmmaker has the balls of putting an intermission in, DUDE, how about ending this fucking movie already! After regretting that there was an intermission our heroes at the 170 minute mark are back from their love fest at the beach and most likely smoking weed only to walk more. They keep saying they must finish the journey so of course there is more walking this when I notice and have come up with a drinking game those three people like me who crazy enough to watch this film to completion. Now for yinz three paying attention: every time Paul has his ninja suit on or putting it back on, drink a beer for every different shirt you see the Paul character wearing underneath? You will be drunk and that is better than watching this film again, again anyway, nine minutes I am completely convinced the film has nothing to do with samurais but two young dudes taking the long way around of just saying they love each other but just cannot find the courage to say it. At the 191 minute mark after walking more Paul lays on the ground and looks to the night sky accepting he will only be complete with his life partner Lee who has disappeared again. Finally about the 215 minute mark we finally are getting to the climax of the film as a horrible unfinished fight scene happens as minutes later Paul loses Lee as he was killed by a Chevy Corsica fender they randomly found in the creek they ran across. More walking happens and at the 248 minute mark is when Paul and Lee (who has died twice, I think) are reunited and receives the sword which the fuckers never get to be in a tournament! And what is this fucking Dan Komarek ends this fucking “EPIC” with a ‘to be continued’… WTF dude! Dan I love you brother, I think you are a fine editor and cinematographer but stop digging this absurd bullshit up and make something new. You have the talent to do it so give me a break as this epic is epic I cannot even give it a rating as much dare someone to watch it all the way through like I did so I am not the only psycho.

Terrifier 2 (Theater) – Art the Clown is back and brutal as ever but after doing some laundry and mysteriously reappearing after the end of the first film Art is back on the street stalking victims. The filmmaker absolutely keeping Art a mystery is able to expand the clown’s universe but never really explaining it. Meanwhile, Jonathon and Sienna have lost their father recently and Jonathon has recently become obsessed with Art the Clown while Sienna is just trying to get out being normal. This sets up a wonderful family interaction but also a weird connection between Art, the murders, and (spoiler alert) Art being some kind of supernatural cannibal! I loved the first film and this one did not disappoint in its brutality and gore but what I think holds it back just a tiny bit is its 2 hour and 18 minute running time as I can only give it 3 ½ stars. Honestly wasn’t thrilled with the film minutes after watching it but I let set in and I love it just didn’t need the “Avengers cut”?

Blood, Guts, and Sunshine: The History of Horror Made in Florida (Blu-ray) – A documentary that tackles the rich history of independent filmmaking in the state of Florida and how it has produced several Indy gems over the years from several talented individuals. Sean Donohue puts together the usual great doc that talk: Creature from the Black Lagoon to Bob Clark to Tim Ritter to Stanley to H.G. Lewis to Joel D. Wynkoop. Donohue is able to give the world a lot of inside stuff most fans may not know about and like most documentaries they can start to repeat conversations if left long enough but just when you think it’s over? It isn’t and it is actually kind of a shock about 80 or so minutes in at what one person’s opinion of the Florida filmmaking scene is… I give Mr. Donohue credit for leaving this in and getting others comments about this after it is said. As usual to some Sean and company might be an acquired taste among horror fans but to me they are some talented people down there in that sunshine state as I give this documentary 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (Shudder) – Oh “VFW” dude (Joe Begos) is back! And this time horror fans get a horror holiday treat where Tori and her employee/longtime friend Robbie have had one hell of a day at the record store on Christmas Eve. Now it’s time to party and hang with their two friends down the street at the toy store to party a little but that is where the happy holiday celebration ends… The realistic robotic Santa Claus that greets you at the store doorway is being recalled for malfunctioning. See these robotic Santa’s were used as military weapons for the government and they are going back to their original missions which why the recall. When it comes to life it is complete chaos for Tori and the sleepy little town as it becomes a combo of “Terminator” and “Class of 1999” meets Santa Claus! It starts a little slow but I get it as Begos and crew like actually telling a story where you care about the characters but it eventually becomes a gory holiday mess of a film! I might not be as good as “VFW” for me at least but I still give this holiday horror 3 ½ stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #589

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Nutcracker Massacre (Tubi) – A novelist named Clara is heading to her Auntie Marie’s home for the holiday after a break up with her boyfriend. She figures some nostalgia would be good for the soul since she is so down. Along the way she stops at a novelty shop and picks up a gift for the auntie but when unwrapped, it is a sugar plum fairy not the nutcracker she thought she bought. That night the sugar plum fairy magically brings the life-sized nutcracker dude to life that goes on a killing spree for the holiday. This corny UK flick doesn’t make a ton of sense but if you needed a little different holiday slasher then you found the right movie as I give it 2 ½ stars. 

Meathook Massacre: Next Generation (YouTube) – Also known as “Meathook Massacre: Mayhem” has first time filmmaker Timothy Thomas take a stab at the series where apparently Bubba will never die (even though he did in the last entry… completely). This time around Becky a sports journalist becomes the latest victim of Bubba as he stalks her and breaks into her home. After a battle and both wounded (wearing an eye patch) Becky retreats to live with her father but wants to return home and move on. Once she does the notorious killer is back on the prowl for Becky but Becky is packed to the gills with weapons to fight this dude. Becky eventually figures out the meathook is somehow the ‘source of power’ for Bubba and that is how we have another film in this ongoing series as I give this uninteresting sequel 1 star.

The Killing Tree (DVD) – Some of yinz may have seen this under a different title of ‘Demonic Christmas Tree’ recently but anyhow those crazy ass people in the UK are just churning them out as a murderous evil spirit brought back by an evil spell into a killer Christmas tree! This killer a year ago went on a crazy murder spree of killing 12 families on Christmas to spread the message to all that they do not have the Christmas spirit. So of course Clay is back to finish the damn job as an evil Christmas tree! Some of the story is told through flashbacks to explain what is exactly going on but bottom line Clay wants revenge on Faith for everything. The death scenes are bad but we are talking killer Christmas tree movie that is terribly cheesy but will hit the mark for any drunken horror fan that needs their fix during the holiday season as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Thanksgiving (Blu-ray) – So again for all the kids that are counting with me this would be “entry #41” into the Amityville series… and yes this would be 42 now but I do not count the YouTube video “Amityville Gas Chamber” a movie but just an April Fool’s joke to clarify to those who been following this mess? Anyway, apparently a filmmaker decided to set out to make the worst Amityville film in the series and almost succeeded? But then they must not have seen “Mt. Misery Road” or “Vanishing Point”? A holiday entry… sort of, where an old married couple goes to a remote place to hang with their creepy therapist who is trying to bang the wife or just be creepy. Dr. Frank Demonico from Amityville apparently looks for a couple every year to sacrifice for his evil plans until finally after years of this the Amityville authorities have wised up. Just plain dumb, boring, and way too much filler. And the couple people/critics I seen online must likely connected to the film claiming “us viewers don’t understand the plot points”? Honestly, really, actually go look up Steve Rudzinski and see how a real professional would attack or use this series for a project? Or hey you can just fuck off and understand your movie is a pile of elephant dung as I give it 0 stars. But here is the funny part it still ain’t no “Jeepers Creepers Reborn”, so go think on that one.

Kiss of Death Productions Short Films Volume One (DVD) – These are unreleased short films from the vault of legendary independent filmmakers David and Diana Silvio. For years these sat unseen but now the Silvios’ are unleashing their Indy projects onto the world. First up is ‘Hidden Fist II: Satan’s Mob’ where martial arts expert Bill C. Kelley plays Dirk Jones who attempts to fight his way through wannabe gangsters to get to their evil mob boss with his former flame only for the boss to mysteriously disappear. The ending was kind of Scooby-dooish but fun. Second up was the sequel ‘The Hidden Fist III: The Final Thrust’ as I can’t help laughing every time I say the title but that is me and I will always be a teenager. This time Dirk Jones is thrusted into a tangle with another mob (see what I did there?). There is kidnapping, murder, stunts, and much martial arts fighting. Third short film is ‘The Waiting Wolf’ where a supposedly mystery woman seeks out karate master Jack claiming to be stalked by an evil man? After Jack’s assistant is beaten up and goes to have a looksee and Desiree is super happy to see a fight about to go down. But in the end the joke is always going to be on her bitchy ass! As I am sure David would call it “a twisted adult tale”. Plus a fun hidden gem is the promos for ‘Meat for Satan’s Icebox’! As usual fun stuff from this wonderful couple and let’s not forget an entertaining performance from Bill C. Kelley as I give this collection 3 out of 4 stars.  

Le Prix Du Danger (VHS) – A few of yinz may know this 1983 French film as “The Prize of Peril”? Anyway, you remember the film “The Running Man” with Arnold? Well this gritty feature predates the flick by four years and pretty much it looks like as usual the American Hollywood ripped that shit off. If interested, it’s worth jumping down the rabbit hole to go look for this one as it has a quite different ending I wasn’t sure how to fell about as I give the flick 3 stars. But to be honest now that I know this exist it still won’t change my mind on how much I love the Arnold flick.

Blood, Guts, and Sunshine: The History of Horror Made in Florida (Blu-ray) – A documentary that tackles the rich history of independent filmmaking in the state of Florida and how it has produced several Indy gems over the years from several talented individuals. Sean Donohue puts together the usual great doc that talk: Creature from the Black Lagoon to Bob Clark to Tim Ritter to Stanley to H.G. Lewis to Joel D. Wynkoop. Donohue is able to give the world a lot of inside stuff most fans may not know about and like most documentaries they can start to repeat conversations if left long enough but just when you think it’s over? It isn’t and it is actually kind of a shock about 80 or so minutes in at what one person’s opinion of the Florida filmmaking scene is… I give Mr. Donohue credit for leaving this in and getting others comments about this after it is said. As usual to some Sean and company might be an acquired taste among horror fans but to me they are some talented people down there in that sunshine state as I give this documentary 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Lair (On Demand) – A creature feature from Neil Marshall that takes place April 2017 in the Afghan Mountains unofficially where a royal Air Force pilot is shot down behind enemy lines. As she fights for survival from oncoming soldiers she stumbles upon a hidden bunker that she forces her way in. Chased inside and fighting for her life they all stumble upon a secret Russian experiment. Escaping barely from this bunker the pilot is picked up by a U.S. military team and taken too this desolate outpost that is there for the rejects of the military. But it doesn’t take long for these creatures to break out and track her down as they were bred for unnatural reasons and left abandoned as now these tough bastards are awake. Fun creature feature that felt a little clunky but still enjoyable as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #570

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Gross Movie Reviews #570

Zombie Flesh Eaters 5 (Blu-ray) – This is an alternate cut of Dustin Ferguson’s ‘Zombi VIII: Urban Decay’ and of course playing off the titles from the early to late 80s where certain films would have several titles depending on the territory it was sold too? Example: Dawn of the Dead was actually known as Zombi in Italy breaking off into a whole other series. Long story short it made American horror fans nuts sometimes trying to track these down before the DVD came along… Anyhow, three friends head off to Matool Island which is claimed to be a cursed island? Once there they find a friend’s father who is undead and bring him back to America barely getting him through customs. Of course this is a bad idea kids but it makes for fun movies as the undead dude wastes no time infecting the residents of L.A. It comes off to me at least paying homage to ‘Zombi 3’ but in the end has that feeling of being incomplete but I still give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Clown Chainsaw Massacre (Blu-ray) – A Dustin Ferguson flick that is also known as ‘Night of the Clown’. It’s Halloween and some friends of course believe it’s a great idea to have their Halloween party where a killer clown was killed a decade ago. But behold and witness the “WHITEST Halloween party” you’ll ever imagine but that plays second fiddle to the Gacy Killer Clown Ghost thingy back for revenge! I am not a huge fan of killer clown films but kudos to Dustin for keeping this one watchable and not just another killer clown film for the shit pile that no horror fan will ever watch again as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

Black Raven (DVD) – This Kiss of Death Productions release was only seen on Pittsburgh Public Access Channel (PCTV 21) Halloween night 1997, but now is finally out on a limited release for all us independent film fans to see! Yet another early project from David and Diana Silvio that I am sure the Indy die hards will eat up. What makes this film different from the usual Indy fare is the Silvios like to mix things up instead of ever doing a straight up horror film so we get a bit of an action/horror/crime drama? Black Raven is a mysterious vigilante who is killing criminals and baffling the authorities. But Officer Murphy is making it personal to bring this psychopath to justice. But with the vigilante still running wild and Officer Murphy with not many answers he finds himself being fired and his investigation involving a mob boss… As the story unfolds and Murphy knowing the identity of the Black Raven Murphy is torn between saving or just out right killing the Black Raven. A weird, twisted, experiment, shot all over Pittsburgh, set as an action packed action horror drama! What else would you expect from the legendary and talented filmmaking duo of David and Diana Silvio as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.     

Creatures (DVD) – A field tripping group of people and a doctor are on a bus that is stopped by something strange hitting the windshield. They spot smoke and investigate to find an alien craft has crash landed. The group quickly is confronted by a small army of blue and green creatures that crave animal flesh and are able to infect humans if they only bite them. This in turn makes the humans or undead or zombies under control of the weirdo aliens. But the main plot of this low budget film comes down to the blue and green dudes hunting down a generic Gizmo character who befriends the humans in order to survive the ordeal. Weird, been done before kind of feeling and too exciting as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Uncanny (DVD) – A British film with a great cast: Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasance, John Vernon filmed in 1975 but not released until 1977. The film is set in Montreal (present times) where Peter Cushing is Wilbur Gray an author who has written a book about cats and has claims they are not just ordinary pets? The publisher interested has a meeting with Gray but takes issue with the claims so Gray begins to tell the publisher three examples of why cats cannot be trusted. First story is set in 1912 where a maid is trying to steal the will of her employer to help the nephew get rich but in the will the cats get everything. Second story is set in (present times) where a little girl Lucy has recently lost her parents and is forced to live with her aunt who doesn’t care for Lucy’s cat or the witchcraft books that were left to her by her mother. Third story is set in Hollywood 1936 where an actor kills his wife on set by replacing a prop for the real thing for a young look-a-like replacement only to have his dead wife’s cat seek revenge. I enjoyed the film a lot but have quite a few flaws and one of them being the Cushing wraparound is great but doesn’t exactly fit his agenda for his book. Or this killer cat film is supposed to be an anthology but doesn’t feel like one like it was cobbled together after the fact. Who knows folks cats are still evil but don’t let that stop you from seeking this oddity out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Malignant (DVD) – A newer James Wan flick where a woman Madison has had three miscarriages over the past couple years gets in a fight with her husband and wakes to find him murdered. After spending two weeks in the hospital she finds herself having visions of a dark force not just hanging out at her home but killing people. Slowly Madison and a detective find out she had a past before her adoption early on in her childhood. Her real name was Emily and she had parasitic twin who can control electricity and uses Emily/Madison’s body to kill people because it wasn’t completely removed during an experimental surgery. Think of an updated version of ‘The Dark Half’ with a little more twist to it as I give this fun little treat 3 stars.

Fangs (DVD) – If by some chance you have a hard time finding this cultish flick it is also known as ‘Holy Wednesday’. An odd mid-70s film about an old dude who has lots of snakes who turns them loose on those who have turned their backs on him. Because of this Wednesdays will never be the same again. You need some weirdness in your do not look past this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Gnomercy (DVD) – Giving ‘The New Mexico Weed Wacker Massacre’ a run for one of the worst films you could ever watch has a killer gnome come to human form to kill after a random dude pisses on him and drops his cocaine on the gnome. From there and because there was no budget for coming up with a real Gnome costume, it begins murdering random people. Meanwhile we are subjected to some terrible actors acting as friends heading to a cabin for one last weekend of fun. So when the gnome isn’t sharpening his tools he is killing the group one by one with some no imagination kills as I give this not fun bad film 0 stars.

Terror at Black Tree Forest (DVD/Tubi/remake) – This no budget UK film is a remake of a Dustin Ferguson film where a group of people head out in the forest for their yearly camping trip. After the boring story of the tater sack killer is told a killer in a tater sack starts to kill them one by one. The low budget slasher isn’t real exciting, but not real terrible in this slasher exception for the reveal which you know is coming before the filmmaker did as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Mini-Grossfest is one week away!

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One week away… Early weather forecast (High 63, in the morning 48 with sun and a slight chance of showers in afternoon).  Dress accordingly my friends!

We wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping us to have our first outdoor event. Second, we wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. Third and most important “The EVENT IS FREE” to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh and surrounding areas that are coming to check out all the great vendors, filmmakers, authors, artists, etc., that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, yinz lovers, your partner, your neighbors’ n’at, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station Restaurant at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us so go have a drink or better yet have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors, filmmakers, etc… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like “conventions used to be!”

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

(Note: For anyone that buys a “beer or adult beverage” please hang on the patio with us until finished)

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

Proud moment to give these guys an award!

So hope to see yinz at the Willow Stations n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit n’at!

Mini-Grossfest Update and our list of vendors…

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First, I wanna thank the Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. for helping to have our first outdoor event and we have sold out. Second, wanna thank all the vendors that are going to be a part of the event. (There will be a list of vendors posted soon.) Sorry we had to turn a few away but like we said from the beginning it was limited space, first come, first served. Third and most important because I have already fielded a couple questions from a couple people concerning about this? The EVENT IS FREE to attendees, the public, whatever you wanna call the people from around the Pittsburgh area coming to check out all the great vendors that will be there. So let your mum, your dad, your lovers, your partner, your neighbors, even the people you dislike know to come visit our event. All we at Grossfest are kindly asking is for people to head into the Willow Station at some point because hell you are already there to see all of us to go have a drink or have brunch as it starts at 11am! Point is people it’s been a hard two years for all of us. This is another step in making a bigger Grossfest happen again but also we want you to have more money in your pocket to spend on the vendors… again THE EVENT IS FREE TO GET IN! Plus the whole point of Grossfest is to introduce you to independent filmmakers, authors, artists and to have fun doing it like conventions used to be!

So again May 1st, 10am-3pm in the back parking lot of Willow Station Bar/Restaurant. There will be parking out in front along the street (most of the public parking side lot will be taken up by vendors)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

 Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Willow Station will be open for that day 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Any questions email Tom or Tim Gross or email grossfest@gmail.com about the event.

NOW FOR OUR LIST OF VENDORS

Maddie Deering – NekroShark Films (rumors that Spirit Animal star Tom Gross will be there to sign autographs with the talented filmmaker Maddie)

Melanie Stone – Dark White Arts

Lunija Gjoni – Plastinated Heart Art   

Jess Weary – Celebrations of Spirits

David Milchick – Shoggoth Suds

Kayleigh Crawford and Dan Komarek – Video Nasty Productions

House of Horror

Scott Baucan

Christian Bareford – local film festival (filmmakers you may want to talk to these people?)

Minerva’s Trinkets

Angel O’Connor and Steve McBride – artist, tattoo artist, make-up effects expert, and all around cool persons

Brillobox – Luther Ickes – filmmaker (made a Pittsburgh Bigfoot movie), bar owner of a cool hot spot that just reopened

Darcy and Keith Munden – Legacy Verse Productions

David Fairhead – Fairly Dark Productions

Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross – Drunken Yinzers Productions

And of course the guests: the people, the myth, the legends, the Grossfest lifetime achievement award winners, the most talented Pittsburgh independent film duo you can meet David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions!

So hope to see yinz n’at on Sunday May 1st, so come on dahn to visit!

Vendors… Grossfest is looking for you!

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Hey horror related vendors Grossfest is looking for you!

We already have a nice variety of cool horror vendors and two guests (the legendary filmmaking duo of David F. Silvio and Cassandra Blue) but we are looking for a few more to fill our May 1st event. It is our “Halfway to Grossfest-o-ween” event sponsored by Willow Station Restaurant/Bar. In attempt to make all people in the independent horror community happy: vendors, filmmakers, authors, attendees, artists, etc. We are having the outdoor event outside of Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa., 10am to 3pm. Vendor spaces will be 10 x 10 (you supply table, chairs, tent or canopy if wanted) as this will be a rain or shine event. The limited spaces are just $25 and one space to a vendor of course. The event is free to people who are attending (we just ask after visiting the cool vendors go inside Willow Station for a beer or brunch?)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Bar/restaurant hours for that day will be 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/orwww.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

As always if there are any questions or you want a vendor application, please email us at grossfest@gmail.com or find us Tom or Tim Gross on Facebook.

We at Grossfest have missed yinz too so we have an event for yinz! Grossfest-o-ween

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(We at Grossfest have missed yinz too so we have an event for yinz!)

Brought to you by

Willow Station Restaurant & Bar

3841 Willow Ave.
Castle Shannon, Pa. 15234
https://www.thewillowstation.com/

Hey yinz looking for a cool little event to celebrate the season? Well how about you check out this event to meet some cool celebs, have some great food, and nice beverages on October 30th, 2021. This cool place opens at 2pm that Saturday. We will have a few guests from 2-3:30ish pm…

https://www.facebook.com/events/421862132512965/?active_tab=discussion

REMEMBER YINZ, ADMISSION IS FREE! You can support by buying food and drinks through our sponsor Willow Station. Any books, movies, or artwork can be purchased through the celebs/guests we have there from 2-3:30pm. Guests are done at 3:30ish but all are welcome to enjoy a great Pittsburgh restaurant and bar from 2-11pm that day.
SO … come hang out, meet a cool celeb to celebrate Halloween, buy some amazing food or a beverage or two, costume contest and party later in the evening, karaoke, so see yinz there!

This lovable duo needs no introduction as they are Pittsburgh film royalty and winners of the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award: They are independent film royalty as these two are behind such Indy cult classics “Meat for Satan’s Icebox” and “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” among working on several other projects throughout the years writing, acting, directing, and have so many stories of working on Hollywood films that were made in Pittsburgh! This duo is known as David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions.

Another guest that doesn’t need any introduction as she is one of the most talented and busiest people you could meet! She is the author of Solsticenightsky Productions & Radio, she is a well-established author, dabbles in acting, investigator, bad ass mum, knows way too much about the paranormal, bigfoot, and werewolves, she does it all! Her stories will make you rethink everything going on around you… I present to you: Christine M. Soltis!

Our next guest is more known than people realize… This local man is not just your typical horror author. His writing is influenced by Poe and Lovecraft (my opinion) but based in the darker side of humanity which should scare the shit out of you! He is one of my favorite people to talk to when it comes to authors, artists, radio hosts, music, comic books, artwork, and he has written one of the best post-apocalyptic stories you can ever read! Just don’t ask him about “The Car 2” as he still has nightmares of me showing up at his booth one day… This multi-tasker and crew have just had their podcast picked up by iHeartRadio with their first episode appearing on there about Grossfest, I would like to present to you David Fairhead and crew (Jess Weary, and Robert J Hoglund of Fairly Dark Productions).

This next guest recently unleashed a wonderful independent horror film made on VHS called, “Spirit Animal”! She is putting the finishing touches on her short film “Trash Removal” and in pre-production on “Bathtub Shark”. She has worked on a few other productions and her star as a filmmaker is on the rise. I wish I could bottle her happiness for VHS MOVIES and sell it because it would make the world such a better place, I present to you: Madeline Deering.

Our next guest is a hoot… When he isn’t being a social media “INFLUENCER” he is an author of some spooky and dark stuff in his books he writes. This cool and proud Dad of two tries to scare the pants of all yinz kids with his stories that can feel all too real. When he isn’t busy producing some evil stuff that rolls around in his head this guy also is a big part of the Grossfest group from the beginning to help get the original concept off the ground. He works hard, proud dad, but his heart is dark and belongs to horror, I present to you: Terrence Main!

And for our last guest announcement is a person who is a late bloomer to be an independent horror movie fan and supporter (Jagoff Massacre changed everything)… A person who believed in Grossfest before anyone else and is the main driving force behind the event, I may be the face but he is why it happens, he recently made his film debut in “Spirit Animal” and has several other film appearances coming in the next year or so, he is known for his fishing and nicknamed “the OG” (Original Gross) and he will be there signing copies of “Spirit Animal” and selling Grossfest T-shirts I present to you: The famous and star of “Spirit Animal”… Tom Gross!

Grossfest-o-ween is coming October 30th, meet the first guest/guests!

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We present to you Grossfest-O-Ween! October 30th, 2-3:30pm (or so… ) This lovable duo needs no introduction as they are Pittsburgh film royalty and winners of the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award: They are independent film royalty as these two are behind such Indy cult classics “Meat for Satan’s Icebox” and “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” among working on several other projects throughout the years writing, acting, directing, and have so many stories of working on Hollywood films that were made in Pittsburgh! This duo is known as David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions.

Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award winners

Willow Station Restaurant & Bar 3841 Willow Ave. Castle Shannon, Pa. 15234 https://www.thewillowstation.com/

(Event is free but please support the restaurant/bar, full menu will be available when it opens at 2pm! And they will be having a party and Halloween costume contest later in the evening)

Happy Grossfest-o-Ween event

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(We at Grossfest have missed yinz too so we have an event for yinz!)Brought to you by Willow Station Restaurant & Bar

Hey yinz looking for a cool little event to celebrate the season? Well how about you check out this event to meet some cool celebs, have some great food, and nice beverages on October 30th, 2021. This cool place opens at 2pm that Saturday. We will have a few guests from 2-3:30pm…

David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions – They are independent film royalty as these two are behind such Indy cult classics “Meat for Satan’s Icebox” and “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” among working on several other projects throughout the years writing, acting, directing!

Christine M. Soltis author of Solsticenightsky Productions & Radio – Author, actor, investigator, she does it all as she is known for her several wonderful books that cover everything from the paranormal to stories that makes rethink what is going on around you…

David Fairhead, Jess Weary, and Robert J Hoglund of Fairly Dark Productions – Authors, artists, radio host, music… Comic books, artwork, music, and some of the best post-apocalyptic stories you can ever read is what these fine people are all about!

Madeline Deering of NekroShark Films – A fresh face to the independent filmmaking world who didn’t just make a movie but a love letter to S.O.V. days of movies with her recent release of “Sprit Animal”! And several projects in the works…

REMEMBER YINZ, ADMISSION IS FREE! You can purchase and support by buying food and drinks through our sponsor Willow Station. Any books, movies, or artwork can be purchased through the celebs/guests we have there from 2-3:30pm. Guests are done at 3:30 but all are welcome to enjoy a great Pittsburgh restaurant and bar from 2-11pm that day.

SO … come hang out, meet a cool celeb to celebrate Halloween, and buy some amazing food or a beverage or two, see yinz there!

Willow Station Restaurant & Bar
3841 Willow Ave.
Castle Shannon, Pa. 15234
https://www.thewillowstation.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #459

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Gross Movie Reviews #459

 

Superstition (DVD) – In 1692, a witch is burned at the stake but before she dies she of course curses all involved and their families. Now in 1982, a family looking for a fresh start moves into a long empty house that has some history of people dying over the years. Never mind an old retired priest allows them to move in knowing the possibility of death and that the swimming pond out back was placed there to keep the evil witch at bay. Which by the way the pond doesn’t work that well. The neighbor warns them of the strange stuff and the weirdo son of course is the suspect the police are looking for. But who cares a crazy buzz saw flies into the chest of another priest who hoped the curse was gone! If you were a person that frequent the video stores in the 80s good chance you seen the VHS box at one point. The film not great but not horrible either as it is a reminder of movies you never heard of and would take a chance on renting them in the 80s. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Superstition 2 (YouTube) – The Italian sequel was released in 1989 and was mostly known under the title “Witch Story”. It has very little to do with the first film other than a witch cursing everyone and a cross that can fend the witch off. A brother and sister take their college friends to an abandoned home they inherited and has some bad history. Even though this film involves a witch it has more of a demon flick tone as demons possess some of the young people and turn them on each other. If there is one reason to watch this it is for the bad ass scene involving a dude in a pond about to get a chainsaw to the skull from his possessed girlfriend! I give the sequel 2 stars but in the end don’t make a whole of sense.

 

Lady Avenger (VHS) – David DeCoteau directs, Michelle Bauer shows up topless at least three times, and William Butler plays the boyfriend of Maggie our “Lady Avenger”. The woman that plays Maggie also goes on about a year or so later to be in Playboy. Anyway Maggie has just got out of the big house to go to her brother’s funeral. Pissed off and wanting answers she breaks away from her protective custody to get to the boatyard to ask questions. After kicking three dudes ass and gets away from them in a fiery car chase she bangs her boyfriend and gets back on the case. As she begins to piece things together of all involved she realizes the people she wants revenge against are much closer to her than she thinks. This of course ups the level of wanting revenge where she goes all Robert “The Exterminator” Ginty with a flamethrower. A fun C-grade action flick that was a direct-to-video back in 1988 as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

A Bay of Blood (DVD) – A 1971 Mario Bava film that has many death scenes stolen by the “Friday the 13th” films whether horror fans admit it or not.  Because of an older woman unwilling to sell her beautiful land and we get some fast and furious murders. The movie begins with two murders. One is the older woman who is made to look like a suicide. Then who killed her is then killed by an unknown person and his body is made to disappear so no one can find it. A wonderful film of double crosses with an excellent ending. For one reason or another Bava has never been in my wheelhouse so I am not a fan nor a hater but willing to check out his films when I come across them. I give it 2 ½ stars.

Death Kiss (On Demand) – So are you a fan of Chuck Bronson and the “Death Wish” films then you will enjoy bootleg Bronson in this low budget homage to those films. We meet a DJ played by Daniel Baldwin who just rages against the city police for not doing their job. That maybe a vigilante is needed? In comes bootleg Chuck Bronson who doesn’t use many words but has many uses for hand guns to bring down criminals. He steals the money from the criminals he brings down and hands it off to a single mother of a little girl in a wheelchair. Thinking she is charity and needs to pay bootleg Chuck backed she tries her best to find out more about him. But bootleg Bronson has his reasons and keeps them at arm’s length. The movie is absolutely a lot of nostalgia and fun. The movie isn’t perfect but a wonderful gift for us Bronson fans to fill the void as I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Horseman (On Demand) – A hidden low budget gem from Australia about a 44-year old father who has just lost his daughter under suspicious circumstances. The father is sent a porn video that stars his daughter who was used by four men and was under the influence of heavy drugs. After seeing this it sends the man into a primal rage to seek out all involved, torture them horribly, and end their lives for what they did to his daughter. As he travels on the highway on his quest he picks up a hitchhiking teenager named Alice. Alice and the man become friends on the road but she knows nothing of his quest for revenge. The story is gritty, screwed up, and this dude has a thing about fucking up people’s dicks! This is literally one bad ass air pump to the penis as I give it 3 ½ stars and yes the father uses a tire pump!

 

Halloween: The Panhandle Massacre (YouTube) – A not-for-profit fan film written and directed by Dean Thomas stars David Dietz as Dr. Loomis’ grandson who oversees Michael Myers. Myers has broken out again and is loose near the Panhandle Trail in Pittsburgh back on his murder spree. Authorities have no clue what to do but Dr. Loomis is there to help guide detectives in the capture or killing of Myers to stop the unstoppable killer again. Well-acted and well produced music for the fan made film makes it one of the better “Halloween” fan made features I have seen over the years as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babes in Psycho Land (DVD) – Two of my favorite filmmakers are back as the feature is directed by the intelligent David Silvio and produced and written by his equally talented wife Diana Silvio. The film is a simple story about Mary trying to reopen her home for foster kids and Andy trying to deal with his bizarre issues. Apparently some time ago Andy’s twin Alex and a girl named Jenny that Andy had a crush on were killed. So anytime Andy comes in contact with a female like Officer Piper Paisley, he believes it is Jenny and swears he won’t hurt her. But it always ends horribly wrong and as Officer Paisley gets pulled into this bizarre world of Mary, Andy, and the foster home she begins to enjoy it too much. Andy finding females again Mary, head of the house is not at all happy but Mary has her own bizarre issues as she is told she may not reopen. The movie rides the edge of sanity really well as it brings you into a bizarre world of you are not sure who the actual victim is and gives you that wonderful uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Kiss of Death Productions once again makes a film that cannot be classified but is must-see independent film that is a cut above most. The whole cast plays their roles perfectly including those of Jack and Cassandra at the end of the film. The Silvios don’t make films for everyone but they do make films for people who are looking for something different and interesting every time out. I give this cringe-worthy movie 3 ½ out 4 stars.

 

Warrior of the Lost World (VHS) – Robert Ginty is a man who rides his super cycle through the Wasteland that might be the only hope for what’s left of mankind. As he rides he is chased by a brutal police force of the ‘Omega’ where he is forced to drive into a wall of rock. Lucky for ‘the rider’ aka Robert Ginty he is pure or at least according to Fred Williamson and ‘the elders’. He has been chosen to help infiltrate the ‘omega’ and help a man escape who is being tortured by the leader Donald freakin Pleasence! Sounds fun, has a great cast, a talking motorcycle, but somehow doesn’t translate into cinema gold? David Worth who is also known for giving us “Shark Attack 2 & 3”, “Kickboxer”, and “Hazard Jack” didn’t seem to have much to work with in Italy but did his best. I give this flick 2 stars as the cast outshines the hokey film.

 

The Park is Mine (YouTube) – Totally forgot how good this film is starring Tommy Lee Jones as a Vietnam vet Mitch who has lost a friend recently. The friend’s dying wish is for Mitch to use his plan to take over Central Park for a few days till Veteran’s Day. His hope is people will take notice and appreciate what these vets did and stop being mistreated. So Mitch goes ahead with the plan unsure if it would work but it does. He asks the commissioner to give him 72 hours to keep the park empty. That is all well and good until the deputy mayor gets involved and things begin to get messy. All the deputy mayor wants is Mitch to die and go away especially when he sends in two mercs to take him down. But meanwhile a reporter with a camera gets in the park and gets to videotape what Mitch is trying to do. I give this film 3 ½ stars and its message of how Vietnam vets were forgotten and mistreated is still relevant today.

 

The House That Would Not Die (DVD/YouTube) – A 1970 TV movie where Ruth and Sara inherit a home that was built in the late 1700s. Apparently Ruth’s cousin took a liking to Ruth when she was young and left the house to her. But the old Campbell house has a haunting history and strange things begin to happen to Sara after a fun séance is done and a spirit enters Sara. The problem is restless spirits live beyond a fake wall in the basement that seeks answers for their peaceful death slumber. A very PG-rated paranormal film is the best thing I can say about the old TV movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019