Gross Movie Reviews #566

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Gross Movie Reviews #566

Deadheading (DVD) – This recent release out of the U.K. should have been called “Dead on Arrival” as this was one of the worst films I have sat through in 2022. But anyhow kids Anna, a tired flight attendant that has the all high and mighty attitude hooks up with a hot dude in her hotel mess in London. You know how it goes: she’s married, better than everyone, how could anyone even think of another then after a couple of drinks and conversation they are bumping like bunnies! Problem, Anna wakes up in a pool of his blood and instead of calling police she decides how can I get rid of this body and go back to work? Most of the film is all about Anna trying to figure out how she is getting away with the murder… Ugh this was a borefest as I give it zip stars!

Killer Tattooist (Blu-ray) – This recent U.K. film is also known in some parts ‘Skinned’ and was a pleasant surprise about a serial killer. Nathan is a very professional tattoo artist who enjoys his work and loves to kill. Meanwhile a strung out cop named Eva is brought in by superiors to look into these nine women who have been murdered the past three months. What connects all of them is the females were recently tattooed or had appointments to be tattooed and Eva for being an utter mess of an officer does wonderful undercover work. Eva and Nathan meet up at a tattoo festival and the relationship quickly evolves from there. Eva unaware of Nathan’s extra circular activity soon becomes suspicious as she gets pressure from her superiors to bring him in for questioning. Surprisingly this film gives off a “Hannibal TV series” vibe that will suck you into what is Nathan going to do next? I would have loved to say this movie was perfect but the lazy ending in my opinion was what hurt it, but don’t let that turn you off from this solid horror film that I give 3 stars.

Zombie Shark (DVD) – Honestly, I thought I seen all the SyFy Channel shark films but apparently I am wrong and blame this on talented Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering as she always keeps me in the loop. But all seriousness folks this was bad! Four people head to Red Plum Island for a weekend of fun until they come across a supposedly dead shark on the beach. But it is undead and eats the hot dude that got them to the beach. Meanwhile, Sgt. Cage aka Jeremy London is trying to track down the undead experiment shark that has caused this big mess and he is carrying a rocket launcher. Usually I absolutely love watching these films but this seem to be bad all around. The only redeemable thing that came out of the film is the quote: “people on the island are going to be a zombie shark buffet”, outside of that no wonder this slipped under my radar as it gets zero stars.

Visions of Fear (DVD) – A collection of seven short films hosted by Tiffany Shepis in 2007 or 2008. 1st film – My Skin – An old creepy dude takes care of a husband’s business for him. 2nd film – Slumber – A reporter named Jason, starts working on a gruesome story that makes him to have horrible visions that are physically changing him. 3rd film – What Ever Happened to the Zombie Killers – Zombies are just trying to enjoy their drinking and dancing at their favorite nightclub until some Goth girls known as the “Zombie Killers” show up to be bathed in gore. 4th film – Callous Sentiment – A local park that sucks in the vulnerable with acts of violence. 5th film – Trick or Treat! – A young woman makes the mistake of allowing a trick or treater into her home who just wants candy but she doesn’t have any? 6th film – Hooligan’s Valley – An offbeat short where a clown and his Mexican wrestler partner go to rescue his girlfriend at a seedy nightclub. 7th and final shirt film – Scream for Me – This is an uncomfortable adventure into a man looking for a woman to scream for his pleasure but she refuses. But he has the tables turned on him but not in the manner you think happen? A fun collection of short films that many horror fans would enjoy but the sixth short film just doesn’t fit the vibe or the buildup (intentional or not) to the last short film introduced by the very talented Tiffany Shepis as I give the collection 3 stars.

Escape from Deathblock 13 (DVD) – If it isn’t ‘massacre’ films, post-apocalyptic flicks, or Amityville movies you know I love me some Bootleg Chuck Bronson films! Robert Bronzi aka fake Charles Bronson plays Mick Kovacs who shows up at a recycling warehouse demanding his brother’s death benefit payment. After a scuffle Bootleg Chuck Bronson gets arrested and is given an opportunity to work the inside for the police but chooses not to for now because he believes he is innocent. Now sitting in prison to rot bootleg Bronson aka Mick is forced to make friends and act in some bad prison scenes. But Mick accidentally comes across some evidence to connect the warden, the prison, and the recycling warehouse all in a drug smuggling ring and he wants out. So some inmates gather to help Mick out by starting a riot so he can escape through the legendary tunnels under the old ass prison so he can go get his revenge and then be offered a job by the U.S. government! Yes it is an action movie mess but I cannot get enough of Bootleg Bronson as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Game of Death (DVD) – Here is a horror movie I thought I would see more people talk about? A group of young people hanging by the pool one day doing the usual: drugs, drinking, getting sexed up, AND NO ONE ON A CELL PHONE (no kidding on that last part, maybe that is why this horror film got buried? Reality check people). While let’s just say a young lady is enjoying her boyfriend as he has a good meal she sees a board game called “Game of Death”. To play the rules are simple: Kill or be killed… so of course they play. Now they either need to kill each other, 24 other people, or watch their heads explode because they refuse to participate and they could win… maybe? Weird, gory, keeps it simple, just surprised not hearing horror fans enjoying this as I believe it is worth at least one watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien from the Deep (DVD) – An Eye-talian/Philippines flick from 1989 starring Charles Napier as a hard ass military dude who has taken over a radioactivity dumping operation on an unknown island. Two Greenpeace people show up to look into the illegal dumping by the power plant only to their horror to find they are just throwing the radioactivity into a volcano. The Greenpeace people sneak into the facility and videotape all the dirty secrets but then it gets a little wacky for all involved when an alien drops by because its attracted to all the toxic waste. The alien is able to burn humans with its touch and seems to indestructible unless you got some random hydrogen flame thrower to burn the large lobster clawed thing! It’s terrible, it’s cheesy, and I know I will watch it again at some point in my life as I give it 2 stars.

Fangboner (Blu-ray) – Written and directed by Nathan (Amityville Vibrator) Rumler for a Rock Bottom Video Production so you are well warned what you are about to get into and if anything you will laugh a lot. After a night of blackout drinking and unprotected sex something is wrong with Dick? Dick has never felt like shit this much before but that doesn’t stop him from visiting his next hook up with the girl he cannot remember her name (Suzy by the way but not that important). The problem reveals itself before and after Dick hooks up with Suzy as Dick’s prior hook up is an alien that bit his dick! Dick convinces Suzy that it must be a form of vampirism that will make them thirst for blood, sex, and uncomfortable conversations in the woods. While they try plan their feedings, weird sex blood sucking rituals, the alien must retrieve the couple and end their lives before they infect the whole human race. The movie is hilariously uncomfortable and I enjoyed it all. ‘Fangboner’ has its flaws, but for no budget and just a cool crew of people having fun makes this one of those flicks you need a room full of friends, beer, and some pizza as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #504

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Gross Movie Reviews #504

 

Zambo, King of the Jungle (DVD) – The film stars Brad Harris as one of two convicts who claims he is innocent and has been thrown into some third world prison. He is being transported most likely to his death with another convict on a prison train. They make a break for it during the ride and use the jungle for cover. But the jungle can be a deadly place as they got to cross through 50 miles of it to make it safely across a border. Along the way Brad’s character Zambo loses his friend to death and natives find him. Three years Zambo is a jungle legend of helping the natives throughout the jungle in their fight against the white man and others who are trying to invade their territory. Everything is hunky dory until some hot babe and friends come looking for Zambo for help in treasure hunting. The premise sounds fun but I would have to say this might one of the more boring exploitation flicks I have watched… But always keep in mind when watching these early 70s flicks it was a whole different world then so when we watch our view could be skewed but I say it was dull and only giving it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Stay Awake (DVD) – A horror film from 1988 that was brought to my attention by a good dude Zane Hershberger a couple months back and was able to finally check it out. 1988, horror movie I never heard of, let’s just say I was stoked as hell. So apparently we open with a serial killer of 11 women is given the needle and of course vows to come back also like ‘Prison’, ‘Shocker’, ‘The Horror Show’, insert a couple more titles from that year or so… Anyway present day 1988 the ghost reappears to haunt some girls at the St. Mary’s School where a teacher and students hang out all night in an event called “The Stay Awake”. Of course this isn’t a U.S. thing and IMDB claims South Africa which could also explain why it is so hard to find until recently. Zane I really wanted to enjoy this film man but not a whole lot happens except the women running around the school and for the ghost of a serial killer he lacked the skill in killing as no one was really dying. Maybe this is just an example of us products of the 80s that are movie nerds that need to shut up or just go watch ‘The Monster Squad’ for the hundredth time… again as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Deep Undead (DVD) – This is a 2005 independent film from Dave Castiglione that just got an upgrade in every way for independent film fans to rediscover all over again. Two divers mysteriously die in the Miles Cove Harbor where there just happens to be a shipwreck from 1923 and a recent nuclear power plant accident nearby. The locals have lots of questions but authorities are keeping things quiet as fish have also recently disappeared or died off so a dive team is hired to find the bodies. The dive team is not all too happy finding out the spill was nearby where they are going but want paid and don’t wanna make too much of a fuss. As the investigation moves forward strange things begin happen, stuff washes ashore, a reporter really digs into the truth of what is actually happening, and people keep bringing up the weird shipwreck accident of 1923. Add that in with more mysterious deaths you get an amazing low budget film that has some wonderful underwater shots for the film that will make filmmakers take notice that it can be done if you put your mind to it. I really enjoy this film because it has that Roger Corman early 80s creature feature feel combined with that independent early 90s look. This entertaining film has all you could want: weird creatures, great underwater scenes, and a toxic spill for a backdrop as I am grateful Dave is getting this out there again as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Beyond White Space (DVD) – So as usual I took a chance watching bootleg Michael Pare in a film that is set in 2156 A.D. Bootleg Michael Pare is chasing after some space dragon that is able to jump time and space that killed his father several years before. If he can capture the dragon it becomes the space haul of a lifetime? Honestly the film is more filler than anything and even with the 30 second cameo from Vernon Wells it still wasn’t worth checking out as I give 0 stars.

 

Skeleton Man (DVD) – As I continue my quest to watch “dumb shit no one wants to watch” I came across this feature that stars Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien. They are part of an undercover delta force team posing as hikers so they are able to hike through the woods on a search and rescue mission. They are searching for a second group of soldiers that have disappeared in these woods from the impossible force of an invisible entity that when it appears it is a generic grim reaper. Yes it was dumb! So folks just remember stick with watching the racist bootleg version of ‘Predator’ in the hilarious ‘Robowar’ as I give this film a ½ star.

Amityville No Escape (Blu-ray) – Henrique Couto takes his own stab at the notorious franchise to see if he can breathe some new life into an old concept. George is writing a paper on “Fear” and he is making a documentary about his experiment into “Fear”. George gets a few friends and they head to Amityville so he can record reaction and feeling of himself and friends facing their fears. We the audience is introduced to a long lost VHS tape that was from 1997 recording events of a woman that moved into the infamous Amityville home and what transpired. Once the group finds their location and start talking about “Fear” that spookiness ramps up as a little girl is seen and we get flashes of footage of strange occurrences in the 1997 VHS tape. I have likened very few paranormal films and this falls more in a different category than that for me and that is “not my cup of tea” feature. First, I love the ending of the film and that is a great cast of actors but I just could not get into the film. That doesn’t mean it is bad by any means I just feel I may not be the audience for this stab into the “Amityville” series. Second, no matter what Henrique makes I will always give the film a fair shot for the mere reason that dude is one the most talented people behind the camera today! For that I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Amityville Vibrator (Google Drive) – Just when I thought I seen it all in the past year: “House Shark, Velocipastor, Shark Exorcist, Banana Splits”. You know stuff I believe only exists in my weird ass brain but somehow gets pooped out into the universe? Well I was wrong as Nathan Rumler a filmmaker trying to make his mark in the independent scene decided to come with one of the sleaziest films that has graced this earth in some time! This borderline porno flick begins with the notorious shooting we all know about in 1976 in the infamous Amityville home. The audience is in for an eye opening experience from the get goes as the opening scene is a woman in a demon mask going to town on herself… then having her head blown clean off into a huge blood stain thus allowing the vibrator to fall to the floor and getting lost.  Now present day we get Cathy who has just purchased the infamous home and has thrown out her useless boyfriend. Cathy does what any depressed human would go do and that would be go to a random yard sale with your hot punk girlfriend and receive a free possessed vibrator! As Cathy gets home and the possessed vibrator introduces the young lady to ungodly visions of pleasure we come to find out her ex-boyfriend isn’t just an asshole? Chad just happens to be a part of a duo who has been tracking down all the possessed items from the haunted home so they can no longer harm people. If that doesn’t sound weird at all, prepare you are in for a treat as shit goes globally satanic in a graphically sexual way like never before. We come to learn Satan needs inside Cathy as I will leave at that. Nathan kudos to you for beating Joanna Angel to the punch in making something that will not be forgotten as I give this sleazefest 3 out of 4 stars. The flaw I could point out in this hilarious idea is the shrooms scene went on way too long, there is a point to it but shouldn’t have been longer than 30 seconds.

 

Scarecrow County (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with a woman donating books to the local small town library. She is from the small town but is just in to clean out her recently deceased parents’ house. She has a verbal spat with the town drunk about her dead brother in the library that sets the tone of the film. The librarian finds a notebook in the pile of books from the dead brother Joey Gibbs. A name most in town haven’t heard or talked about for years. The librarian reads on as it peaks her interest and begins asking her father questions about Joey as he went to high school with him. Small town legend, small town ideas but her reading this book sets things in motion not only among old friends but people start having untimely deaths. If you are into killer scarecrow in small town drama then this is up your alley for a Saturday afternoon watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

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