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Gross Movie Reviews #447

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Gross Movie Reviews #447

 

Megalodon (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Navy ship defies orders from its admiral (Michael Madsen) in order to try and save a shipmate and her experimental sub that is swallowed up by a monster shark. The monster shark is loose because the Russians were supposedly at the bottom of the ocean trying to tap into the pipeline. The Navy could never find evidence of it but now they have if it if they can survive the attack of this prehistoric shark that is now trying to destroy the ship. The film was fun for about 15 minutes but I couldn’t take seriously Michael Madsen as he doesn’t fit into a military outfit let alone the U.S. Navy. But whatever as I give this limp noodle of a shark flick 1 star.

Santa Jaws (SyFy Channel/DVD) – So this may have been the underrated treat of “SyFy Channel Shark Week”. A teenager who is an aspiring comic book artist is grounded for Christmas and told he will miss the comic book party. He opens up an early Christmas present which just so happens to be a magic pen. With this magic pen the teenager Cody begins drawing his latest comic adaptation ‘Santa Jaws’. It is literally a great white shark with a Santa hat on its fin that begins to track down Cody’s family and eats them on Christmas Eve. Once Cody knows that Santa Jaws is real he must convince everyone else and figure out how to get rid of this jolly man-eater. There are a lot of corny holiday bad jokes, the subplot of the Cody trying to talk to the cute girl across the street, and the weird comic book dude that hits on all women. Before you start bitching why this movie shouldn’t exist, remember there was “Santa Paws”… So check your brain at the door and keep this on the back burner for the holiday season as I give this holiday film 3 stars.

 

Frenzy (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Starts off like a found footage film but corrects itself into complete crap that makes root for the characters to die of a quick horrible death. But apparently the filmmaker watched “The Swallows” on a continuous loop for a month and an idea to appeal to younger horror fan… maybe? The Lewis sisters and friends have a YouTube show where they go adventures and such and record it for their online shows. This episode has them filming as they illegally get someone to take them into a protected sanctuary just so they can say they were there. Of course the plane has problems and they crash in the ocean only to become fish food for some hungry sharks. I literally hate watched this film about ten minutes in and wanted all the characters to die cause sad part is I could see real life dumb asses doing this to begin with. Anyway… get off my lawn as I give this piece of garbage 0 stars.

 

Nightmare Shark (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Now, I am not saying this shark movie was great or anything but have to say kudos for a different shark film. A doctor finds a way to reach out to shark attack victims for an experimental group therapy weekend. He claims to be working on a drug to help cure the nightmares they all have about the same shark. A shark that Dr. Novak may have seen when he almost died in Hawaii a few years before and it asked him to serve the shark god. So yes Dr. Novak has bad intentions once all members of the group have arrived. But remember it is about nightmares so not all you will see is true or basically imagine if Freddy Krueger was an ugly shark trying to kill you in your dreams. Just weird enough it kept me interested and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A crazy off the wall post-apocalyptic flick where war has turned most of the world into a wasteland and an alien has decided to visit. The alien is there to gain information on how to stop their world from killing each other in war but soon understands there is no hope on Earth either. John Saxon plays a militant madman trying to win a war who only answers to Richard Lynch and has a bodyguard played by James Lew. Did I forget to mention Michael Berryman shows up in drag, Matthias Hues comes off as a wrestler in the future who lost his way from the movie set of “I Come in Peace”, Al Leong is hanging out with the bad guys watching Michael Berryman stab a dude in a bar fight, and there floppy disks may help save the world from John Saxon. Bad movie gold my friends and deserves to have a Blu-ray as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Sleeper (Blu-ray) – A way cool 2-disc retro horror flick set in 1981 on a college campus. The Thetas are looking for a few new pledges but an unknown psycho has other plans as he keeps crank calling the sorority house and announcing which member he is about to kill next. His weapon of choice is a hammer which brutally messes up his victims. When more girls begin to go missing the police begin to take the murders seriously but have trouble tracking down who the killer could be? Justin Russell the writer/director of the film puts together a wonderful horror walk down memory lane that was like a mash up of “Black Christmas” and “Graduation Day”. If that wasn’t enough we also get a cameo appearance by the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Bob Briggs as the doctor but also you get him to do his ‘drive-in totals’ for the film as an extra. Great stuff folks as I give this fun retro horror film 3 ½ stars.

 

The BPO Halloween Mixtape from Hell! (DVD) – The BPO Films trio has a lot of fun with a couple of short films called Benny Bob and Phantom’s Super Halloween Special 1 & 2. Also in between you get a couple “Pizza Boy” trailers which I could not stop laughing throughout. If Benny Bob and Phantom are not trying to scare each other they do fight a demon! This collection doesn’t show off their talent as much showing they are all about just having fun when they put together a wonderful project and that can take you a long way. It reminded me a lot of the early stuff that I have seen from independent filmmakers Jim Roberts, Steve Rudzinski, and Rick Fusselman. Make something out of nothing and just enjoy what you put on film. Dumb hijinks that doesn’t get old and also just referencing popular movies like “Ghostbusters” doesn’t hurt for laughs. Well done guys as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as this entertaining DVD will get replayed around Halloween at my home. For more info on these guys check out www.bpofilms.com .

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (On Demand) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2018 and for good reason. This got a lot of horror fans’ attentions when the puppets first showed up at Texas Frightmare weekend and we all were learning this film will be very different from the original Charles Band production. It is hard to define if this is a reboot, sequel, etc., as the new film is based on the characters but taken in a much darker direction that many of the “Puppet Master” entries stayed away from. But anyhow a comic book store employee has recently moved back home after a divorce and has hooked up with the girl across the street. They make the decision to head to a toy convention that is celebrating the 30 year anniversary of ‘The Toulon Murders’. There he hopes to sell what he thinks are one of Toulon’s original puppets that may or may not have killed his brother when they were young. Once there and after the creepy tour with Barbara Crampton the retired cop, the dolls are disappearing from people’s hotel rooms and thought stolen. But the evil puppets are killing again thanks to Toulon who has risen from the grave! The hotel becomes the center of an all-out bloodbath and the only way to maybe stop the murdering puppets is find the undead Toulon. After watching the film I was surprised at the cameos and how many bodies pile up in the film. The film takes a wonderful and entertaining ride into evil and I liked it! Not a fan of the puppets like the original but I am wanting more… I give the film 3 ½ stars. But I have two questions I want answered: When is the sequel coming? And will Charles Band ever make another “Puppet Master” film now with this existing?

 

6-Headed Shark Attack (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Married couples on an island for a couple retreat or boot camp to help them get back what they once had. This is disrupted by a six-headed shark that may have been the results of an experiment over 30 years ago on the other side of the island? Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this film may have had the whiniest and bitchiest characters of all time! I so wanted the six-headed shark to be thrown like a Chinese star through the island when the bad weather arrives in the film. Thus ending this feature quickly as these people needed to die. No one here was likable. I really hope films like “Frenzy” and this sequel do not become a trend in horror movie making because it just plain sucks out loud! I give it 0 stars.

 

8-Bit Bloodbath (DVD) – A twenty minute film about a gamer named Billy who is invited to a Halloween party but becomes a sacrifice instead. But Billy rises from the dead as an undead 8-bit super zombie who seeks revenge against mankind. Once undead he slaughters people with his various weapons he is able to produce out of his zombie Nintendo glove. The independent short film is raw but very entertaining and reminds me a little of the Polonia Brothers early stuff shot on VHS. Todd Wolfson has my attention with this film and his trailer for ‘Sponge’ which looked very funny and entertaining. I give this fun short film 3 out of 4 stars and cannot wait to see what is to come next from Mr. Wolfson and crew. For more info on this project check out:  https://www.facebook.com/8BitBloodBath/

 

Patient Zero (On Demand) – A UK flick that has the world being infected by a super rabies virus. It started with animals but mutated once it got into humans causing them to become raging violent maniacs. With the population being decimated quickly the military grasps at straws with their research and trying to find ‘Patient Zero’ for answers on how to cure people. But there is a slight hope as a man helps the research on a daily basis as he was bitten but never turned. With this he is able to communicate to the infected and hopefully using this power helps them all find the cure. Problem becomes the infected are evolving and want not a war but everyone to be infected. A very curious alternative horror film that is a reminder of how good “28 Days Later” was and how I am surprised not to see more films like this made over the years? I give this interesting flick 2 ½ stars. I may have given it a better rating but wasn’t really impressed with the non-ending.

 

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (SyFy Channel/DVD) – And just in case for those of you counting at home this is “Sharknado 6”. When we last seen Fin, he was in the future with his son (Dolph Lundgren) and he was going to help his father to get back to the past. Now, Fin ends up in prehistoric times and finds most of his family as they fight a Sharknado at key points in history. Along the way they are trying to find Fin’s son (no longer Dolph Lundgren because it was cheaper I guess?) so they can meet up. But after killing off a bunch Sharknados their flux capacitor goes awry and they end up in 20013 or something… Basically ‘Planet of the Aprils’! The movie goes completely absurd but does a much better job of going absurd than the past two sequels as this entry was much more entertaining of how they are trying to stop the Sharknados for good. It was a wonderful movie idea they ran into the ground but I am glad it exists for the mere reason it got people who usually wouldn’t pay attention to this kind of film to pay attention. So thank you Sharknado for the good and bad shark movie sequels as I give this entry 2 ½ stars. Also I give it three years before it gets remade???

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #445

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Gross Movie Reviews #445

 

Blood Slaughter Massacre (DVD) – Some murders happen at a small party in Havenwood. The killer was never found and was nicknamed “The Ripper” but many in the community buried any news about the horrible event. Ten years go by with no clues or any murders and then “The Ripper” strikes again. The detective who was young and just started on the police force when the killings first took place is determined to find the killer no matter what. The film has an okay slasher concept and runs with it but the biggest problem is the camerawork sucks and the running time is two hours long. You find someone that knows what a tripod is or understand there are cameras with downloadable apps for steady-cams and understand 40 minutes of this flick could be edited without even thinking then we are talking a much better horror film. Saying that it is worth a watch if you are weird like me but take it with a grain of salt as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship, and Videotape (DVD) – This documentary that was released in 2014 gives you a crash course in what was the “Video Nasties” and what started it in the UK. About 70 horror movies being released in the early 80s sent certain groups of crazy people into frenzy to ban certain horror movies because of their level of violence. It took years for people to reverse this trend in the UK as horror movies were delayed in being released to video or just never seen at all. The documentary dives into people being up for fines or imprisonment for just owning an uncut version of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “The Evil Dead”. This led to a whole new ratings system that just upset everyone anyhow. A very interesting look into what most horror fans over the age of 30 only heard about. I give it 4 stars.

 

Video Nasties: Draconian Days (DVD) – This was part two of the 2014 documentary that dives deeper into the “Video Nasties” but how the censorship went way beyond that. Hell I thought the U.S. had it bad with the MPAA? Over in the UK it was to the point certain normal cartoons were being censored or pulled because one dude was like “Yep that is going to corrupt kids, cut it or pull it completely”. It was some crazy shit going down. It was no longer horror movies into the 90s as it expanded to all genres of film. The BBFC basically help start the black market for uncut horror films in the 90s… Interesting stuff folks as they even talk about the horror conventions in the 90s were there but you had to have the special invite to get the good stuff or uncut flicks. Once again I give it 4 stars.

 

Lady Terminator (DVD) – Oh just your typical crazy foreign flick about a woman anthropologist who goes out to sea to investigate the disappearance of an evil queen from centuries ago. She disappears only to be captured and have her tent hole to be entered by a CGI snake that possesses her with an evil queen from the past that fucks dudes to death. Yes kind folks that is pretty much the plot of this fucking gonzo flick. Once bored with dudes on the beach she heads to the mall, a dance club, and even gets in a car chase with a police officer which isn’t fully explained. But hey who cares as she is banging dudes to their deaths! One of those movies you will think I made up but have to watch just to make sure as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dangerous Seductress (DVD) – Six years later there is a sequel of sorts to “Lady Terminator”. The Evil Queen returns when a nutzoid car chase goes down and ends in a horrific crash that leaves gore everywhere. This blood jump starts The Evil Queen to partial life but when a stupid American girl named Suzie reads some ancient text for no apparent reason this bring The Evil Queen to her. Now, Suzie becomes possessed and given the powers of darkness which include banging hot dudes to death! Will this sexed up killing spree ever end? Maybe… but still not as entertaining as “Lady Terminator” so I got to give it 2 stars.

Urban Cannibal Massacre (DVD) – A 2013 independent flick from ‘Ghetto Hollywood Pictures’ that was just pooped out there in existence without anybody telling me about its greatness! The film takes place in Akron, Ohio where the Jones family is a well-respected family of a small community. The secret of the family is they feed on the homeless and only like the white meat. The Jones family does not believe in eating their own kind. The only problem this prospering family has is the youngest daughter is a vegan and thinks it’s absurd the family carries on the tradition of killing poor white people and feasting on them. No one in the community suspects anything weird with the Jones family especially with having friends that know about their business for a certain price. But this family is about to be outed when some college friends come to town looking for a missing friend and they find clues that lead them to the Jones family. These college kids get more than what they bargain for when they mess with the Jones family especially when the young daughter Kendal is in love with one of them. Hilarious storyline and an amazing amount of awesome gore make this wonderful movie a treat for gorehounds as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Scratch (DVD) – German killer rat movie sounds awesome at first but what starts off great falls apart in the second half of the film when they go away from the storyline… Which is killer rats fucking rule people. I was disappointed as I give this mutant rat flick 1 star.

 

Evil Bong 777 (DVD) – I thought I swore off watching this series but who am I kidding as this is a Full Moon feature. No matter how much I believe this series makes Charles Band look like he has no passion for filmmaking anymore and it just insults the original Full Moon fans, you know I had to watch it. Eebee and friends are back from ‘Sexy Hell’ (don’t ask that would require me caring to watch Evil Bong 666 sooner than later). Of course first thing back you gotta go to Vegas to see a puppet sex show.  Then after that the friends head to a cheap haunted hotel to relax. But that doesn’t last long when Evil Lucy cuts of the head of Satan in Sexy Hell so she can return and get her revenge. And by the way the story will continue in part eight whether you want it to or not. But the main reasons for watching this film is pretty much Sonny Carl Davis but also Robin Sydney who I consider a wonderful actress. Robin with her work has probably become 1C in actresses for me as I declared Tiffany Shepis and Debbie Rochon 1A and 1B several years ago. I give the film 1 star for the mere reason it wasn’t a 60 minute Full Moon ad!

 

Dr. Alien (DVD) – Here is a weirdo bottom of the barrel sex comedy from David DeCoteau in 1989 that stars Billy Jayne (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose fame) as a college freshman who has trouble with the woman. Well lucky Billy Jayne’s character (Wesley) his Biology teacher is killed searching for an U.F.O. and a hot young lady shows up to be the new biology teacher. Oh yeah she is from outer space and convinces Wesley to allow her to experiment on him with a new vitamin that makes a thing come out of his head and girls want to bang him. Wesley all about the extra credit believes it works but the girl he is after is just a girl that likes him for being him. In the end we come to find out that the hot biology teacher is from a planet that is dying and they have trouble breeding and needed to test her experiment on Earth! Hilarious crap I cannot make up as I give it 3 stars.

Mutant War (DVD) – Another diamond in the rough I found while searching all the movie channels as Brett Piper writes and directs this 1988 post-apocalyptic sequel. Harry Trent is wandering the wastelands five years after “Galaxy Destroyer” and stumbles upon a young woman who needs help from a mutant. He helps and she enlists Trent to break out her so-called sisters who are held captive in a compound by a shitload of these mutants. But it isn’t as easy as it looks because the mutants obey a crazy old human who has intentions of taking over the world! Fun low budget stuff from Mr. Piper that I feel like deserves some kind of box set edition for more fans like me to see more often as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Munsters Go Home! (DVD) – This is one of test movies to know if your favorite horror fan is legit. The show was fun but the movies are hilarious and this 1966 classic set it all up for future laughs. Herman Munster has just inherited a lordship and properties in England. So Herman and the family pack up at 1313 Mockingbird Lane and head to Munster Hall to see what it is all about. But there is some of the Munster family in England that doesn’t believe Herman deserves any of it so they spend their time trying to scare him. When that doesn’t work they come up with a plan to kill him in the yearly car race that is between several families that live around Munster Hall. If you don’t find this movie funny seriously there is something wrong with you and you might have to start questioning your life choices? I give it 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews has just sold another copy in the UK… Have you gotten your new movie guide?

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Also you can purchase a copy locally in the burgh at Rickert and Beagle Books: They are located at 3233 West Liberty Ave in Dormont (15216) Call us at (412) 344-7444(412) 344-7444

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Gross Movie Reviews #360

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Gross Movie Reviews #360

 

By Tim Gross

 

Mongrel (VHS/DVD-R) – A 1982 thriller about people living at a boardinghouse where an old mean dog terrorizes a timid tenant that looks a lot like Jeffery Combs. One day one of the tenants teases the dog and the dog gets loose and attacks. After the dog is put down the timid tenant claims to hear strange noises at night (which sounds like me burping after guzzling a bottle of Yuengling). And tenants begin to die of strange vicious deaths. The film has its moments and also two things going for it: first, it’s Mitch Pileggi’s first film and second, there is a “Deep Throat” pinball game featured in a scene where tenants are drinking in a game room gossiping. Never heard much about the film before this but believe this will be a film I will revisit in the future as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Gallows (On Demand) – Another so-called “found footage” film that involves a high school drama class. Apparently, twenty years ago during a play called “The Gallows” a kid hangs himself when the play was being performed. After much speculation and begging by the drama class director they are doing the play again. But a kid that films everything has other plans and just happens to be best friends with the lead of the play also. Together with another friend learn the back door to the high school does not lock and break-in to destroy the set so they “The Gallows” play cannot go on the next night. Once in, strange things begin to happen while the camera rolls. Think “Grave Encounters” in a high school. There isn’t much to the film besides it being a cheap cash-in for Hollywood but again it raises the question for me… Who found this footage? Especially since it never made it out of the high school and if it did the person or persons that were a part of the deaths in the school would be arrested for the deaths. Oh no, I gave away the awesome plot! I give this uninteresting film 1 star.

 

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (DVD) – The film series that features blind giant man-eating worms and things called ass-blasters has been revived once more again featuring Michael Gross aka Burt Gummer. Gummer is now hanging out in the Nevada desert filming his survivalist internet show. It’s been years since Graboids have attacked or any new ones have popped up. But Gummer soon gets two visitors. The first is Jamie Kennedy who plays the role of crazy cameraman and fan of Gummer and second is a man from South Africa that proposes Mr. Gummer to come to South Africa to help them with their Graboid problem or I should say Ass-blaster problem. Gummer says, “If you got ass-blasters, you have Graboids.” From there Burt Gummer explains the evolution of Graboids not only for his new cameraman but for the viewers and catches everybody up on the evolution of the Graboids. Great stuff! But Gummer finds out the game has changed again in South Africa as the Graboids may have mutated one more time as their tentacles are able to detach and seek food but the Graboid is bigger and ass-blasters are not after heat as much anymore. Once Gummer understands he is being screwed over by a poacher and has a possible adult son it is time to find and destroy the nest of the mutated Graboids. Once again there isn’t a bad installment in this series that gets revived every few years or so and for great reason as the source material “Graboids” are fun to see and have been smartly written to keep audiences enjoying the evolution of them. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Death Squad (DVD) – Rutger Hauer, Darryl Hannah, Stephen Baldwin, Danny Glover, and Michael Madsen and its set in 2046! With a title and cast like this the flick should be movie gold? NOT THIS PILE OF DOG SHIT! Somebody, somewhere overthought this futuristic film that didn’t get a big release and for good reason. Its 2046 and the government has broken down, there is war, Danny Glover has two computers from the late 90s, and zones where radiation has killed millions of people. What it comes down to is a secret mission has Baldwin’s character trying to find an old uplink to a satellite that could change the course of the war. Danny Glover just spends the whole movie in one room yelling at Baldwin. Rutger Hauer is one bad dude in charge of Darryl Hannah’s character and apparently has Michael Madsen on speed dial to go kill people double secretly. Got it? Good! Because it doesn’t make a lick a sense at times especially when Baldwin’s character meets a purple/red painted lady who may be real or may be from radiation poisoning to a person who has been in this infected zone too long without medicine. I love me some Rutger Hauer but someone fucked up royally on this flick as I give it a ½ star.

 

Storage 24 (DVD) – A not much known UK sci-fi/horror flick that of course involves a huge storage facility and a down spacecraft or debris nearby during a couple of friends who are trying to help a couple split up their stuff after a break-up. Soon power and computer outages cause the storage facility to go into lockdown where no one can leave and the storage company is trying to fix it while a soap opera unfolds inside. And… there is a bad ass looking alien chowing down on humans trapped inside. Before you say “I have seen this before”, give this film a chance as the film has great effects in the creature and the death scenes as buckets of blood and goo flow. But also the film keeps it simple and claustrophobic for a lot of the film so it never seems to drag. Horror fans this is a hidden gem worth seeking out and enjoying this creature feature as I give it 3 stars.

 

Lucy (DVD) – Need to waste 90 minutes watching a flick that won’t make you think this science fiction flick starring Scar Jo and Morgan Freeman is the go to film. Scar Jo’s character gets used as a drug mule for a new drug that could kill you or in Lucy’s case unlocks her brain. Lucy knows she could die soon but discovers as more of her brain is able to unlock she is becoming less human and control almost everything around her. But she also wants to pass the knowledge along to Morgan Freeman’s character who is studying the effects of unlocking the brain. The film isn’t bad or great but a fun time to waste 90 minutes and not have to think too much as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Area 51 (DVD) – Another ‘found footage’ film that features three friends who are going to break-in at the Area 51 facility and get proof that aliens exist. I always enjoy these types of movies that involve Area 51 mainly because I find the location interesting just like the Reed character. But Reed is searching it out for a whole different reason as three months ago he was a typical college-aged dude partying with friends and loses a bet where he must sing or rap karaoke. Lights go out and Reed disappears. His two buddies leave the party a few hours later and find a disorientated Reed wondering the highway. Now the past three months he has become obsessed with aliens and Area 51and his personality has completely changed. They find a way to break-in and find a whole lot more inside after being chased by the military. But with the camera falling into the desert and busted again I ask the question “Who found this footage?” I give the film 2 ½ stars not so much for the characters as much for the plot of the film of three people going to great lengths to find aliens in Area 51.

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The Slashening (DVD/Vimeo) – Five girlfriends are having a slumber party and the parents are out of town. Old friends just celebrating friendship as you have one straight out of rehab and another coming off a very bad relationship. This Brandon Bassham directed feature follows the formula of a “Slumber Party Massacre” and “Student Bodies”. As the five friends have boys show up and I learn new phrases like “coke pussy”, someone in a tater sack is slashing their way through dumb pizza dudes. If that wasn’t enough everyone confesses to banging Lucy’s boyfriend and the pizza is three hours late as the girls begin to disappear one by one by the hands of a tater sack killer. What the film lacks in effects more than makes up in talented actors, dialogue, and the filmmaker’s love for horror/comedies. Annum Films and Mr. Bassham get kudos from me for making a smart and hilarious horror/comedy on a shoestring budget! Many are made but very few worth viewing but also owning like this great feature. Picked up Troma and sold on amazon.com I have to give one of the better films of 2015 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Super Fuzz (YouTube/VHS) – Ernest Borgnine has a rookie partner who was presumed dead after a rocket exploded over a remote are the officer was at. But a red powder has given Officer David Speed super powers. Only one problem every time he sees red he loses his super powers. But that doesn’t stop this film being a prototype for the TV show “The Greatest American Hero” and being a staple for us old people in our young days of early 80s HBO. One scene after another has David stopping crime before it stops because of his super powers along with falling out of windows also. The film is a hilarious reminder of what played constantly on the early days of cable and what we all found amusing. If you remember it or never witnessed a man talk to a fish in a movie do yourself a favor and look this up now! I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

The independent film “Hate Crime” has been banned in the UK!

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Thanks to http://www.jamescullenbressack.com for the article:

 

Monday 2nd March 2015 – THE BBFC announced today that HATE CRIME, the first release in a new joint VOD venture between geek blog Nerdly.co.uk and TheHorrorShow.TV – has officially been banned in the UK. It is one of only four horror movies officially refused classification by the BBFC since 2009, the others being Grotesque, The Bunny Game and The Human Centipede 2, later released with nearly 3 minutes of cuts.

Hate Crime

Set to be the first release under the new Nerdly Presents banner, HATE CRIME tells the story of a Jewish family, having just arrived in a new neighbourhood, who are recording their youngest son’s birthday celebrations on video when their home is suddenly invaded by a bunch of crystal-meth-crazed neo-Nazi lunatics.

 

The film is the second feature from director James Cullen Bressack (To Jennifer, Blood Lake, 13/13/13), and has already had a successful release in the US, reviewed favourably by the likes of Bloody Disgusting, MoreHorror and even the UK’s very own Starburst Magazine.

 

The full official statement from the BBFC:

 

“HATE CRIME focuses on the terrorisation, mutilation, physical and sexual abuse and murder of the members of a Jewish family by the Neo Nazi thugs who invade their home. The physical and sexual abuse and violence are accompanied by constant strong verbal racist abuse. Little context is provided for the violence beyond an on screen statement at the end of the film that the two attackers who escaped were subsequently apprehended and that the one surviving family member was released from captivity. We have considered the attempt at the end to position the film as against hate-crime, but find it so unconvincing that it only makes matters worse.  

 

“The BBFC’s Guidelines on violence state that ‘Any depiction of sadistic or sexual violence which is likely to pose a harm risk will be subject to intervention through classification, cuts or even, as a last resort, refusal to classify. We may refuse to classify content which makes sexual or sadistic violence look appealing or acceptable […] or invites viewer complicity in sexual violence or other harmful violent activities. We are also unlikely to classify content which is so demeaning or degrading to human dignity (for example, it consists of strong abuse, torture or death without any significant mitigating factors) that it may pose a harm risk.’

 

“It is the Board’s carefully considered conclusion that the unremitting manner in which HATE CRIME focuses on physical and sexual abuse, aggravated by racist invective, means that to issue a classification to this work, even if confined to adults, would be inconsistent with the Board’s Guidelines, would risk potential harm, and would be unacceptable to broad public opinion.”

“Of course, the Board will always seek to deal with such concerns by means of cuts or other modifications when this is a feasible option.  However, under the heading of ‘Refusal to classify’ our Guidelines state that ‘As a last resort, the BBFC may refuse to classify a work, in line with the objective of preventing non-trivial harm risks to potential viewers and, through their behaviour, to society. We may do so, for example, where a central concept of the work is unacceptable, such as a sustained focus on sexual or sadistic violence. Before refusing classification we will consider whether the problems could be adequately addressed through intervention such as cuts.’ The Board considered whether its concerns could be dealt with through cuts. However, given that the fact that unacceptable content runs throughout the work, cuts are not a viable option in this case and the work is therefore refused a classification.”

 

Says director James Cullen Bressack: “I am honoured to know that my mind is officially too twisted for the UK. So it goes … I find it unbelievable that a film that shows little to no on screen violence and no nudity was actually banned. it just shows the power of what is implied and peoples imagination; and is a testament to the fact that the same crimes that happen in the world are truly horrifying.”

 

Nerdly.co.uk‘s Phil Wheat adds: “HATE CRIME was always going to be a contentious title to submit to the BBFC, especially given recent racial tensions. But as part of Nerdly Presents’ remit to uncover great underground movies it was worth taking the gamble on James Cullen Bressack’s movie. After all, horror is often about pushing boundaries and making your audience uncomfortable. HATE CRIME does that by throwing political correctness out of the window to create a raw, emotive and disturbing film that is a tour-de-force in reality filmmaking, taking the found-footage genre to a whole new level – asking questions of both the filmmakers and the audience. As such it’s definitely worth championing.”

 

TheHorrorShow.TV’s Jack Bowyer said: “Although it may surprise some people, TheHorrorShow.TV supports classification over censorship, as we would hate for any of our growing number of films to be viewed by an inappropriate audience. We work in collaboration with the British Board of Film Classification to ensure that our content is appropriately rated, but sometimes you need to test boundaries to find out where they are. In the case of HATE CRIME, it appears that the BBFC has deemed the content inappropriate for people of any age, even adults, and regrettably we will be unable to bring the film to the UK as part of our very exciting collaboration with Nerdly.”

Gross Movie Reviews #341

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Gross Movie Reviews #341

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Deadly Spawn (DVD/YouTube) – Oh one of the first low budget films that Bruce Lentz of Incredibly Strange Video introduce me too… Great stuff as some cool looking aliens land on earth and make their new home in the basement of a house where there is lots people to feast on. The film was made on a mere $25,000 budget and sports some wicked ass creature and gore effects that more than gives any horror fan a reason to watch at least once! A great creature feature that should get more love than it has as I give it 3 ½ stars.

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The Mothertown (DVD/YouTube) – A first time effort from independent UK filmmaker John Williams who apparently is giving all the proceeds from the movie to local charities in the UK which is pretty cool… But anyway two security guys find a weird naked dude in the gym shower and from there the zombie apocalypse begins! The film focuses on several groups of people who are not only trying to survive the zombie apocalypse but entertain themselves. The film also sports possibly one of the funniest scenes in a zombie apocalypse film where two men who are taking part in an S+M thing are left tied up and forced to chat as their slave master has left them for work. The film keeps cutting back in on these two and it gets funnier every time it does. There is an enormous amount of zombie extras and a gory zombie wedding scene which gives the film that cool zombie apocalypse feel. But what hurts the film and stops the story in its tracks of being interesting is when these groups of people find themselves being held by two so-called military personal waiting for their ride to leave the town before its destroyed by a nuclear attack. Williams does a great job of building a fun zombie film but shows the growing pains of what it takes to try to pull it off. I really enjoyed seeing all the extras and enjoyed the film just wish the last quarter of the film would have been edited more. I give the overseas independent effort 2 out of 4 stars and more information about the film can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/themothertown .

 

Vengeance of the Dead (VHS) – Another Full Moon movie I can cross off the list as I pull a flick out of my basement to check out… With this 2001 effort a character named Eric comes home and is haunted by a ghost named Julia. Not a whole lot happens in this flick as the film really doesn’t go anywhere interesting. I have seen better and have seen worse but you wanna be bored this is your movie to watch. I give the flick 1 star.

 

Rabid (DVD) – Another David Croenberg classic from the mid-70s, that stars the beautiful and talented actress Marilyn Chambers. Rose and her boyfriend are riding their motorcycle out in the country land outside of Montreal only to get into a horrible accident. Rose and her boyfriend get help from a plastic surgery center nearby where Rose will need several skin grafts. Rose receives several experimental skin grafts that heal quickly but Rose awakens from her coma in a crazy state not understanding her hunger until her armpit begins sucking blood out of a man’s neck. Soon Rose helps super-rabies get out in the general population of Montreal and people are attacking anyone and everywhere with the government in dismay of how to stop the super rabies. If you are a fan of “Shivers” and not seen this flick yet? Get your ass to Amazon and buy or rent this shit as I give it 3 ½ stars. And thank you to David Croenberg for making such a bizarre but awesome horror flick.

 

Cut Throat (VHS) – Keep finding these forgotten Full Moon flicks that I always wanted to see but never found the time to see them. This flick is about a horror film “Death Blade” where the actors and actresses are being killed on set and keeps comparing itself to “Scream” constantly. I have seen better but was entertaining enough that I stayed awake for the ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Asylum of Terror (VHS) – A 1998 film that looks like a shot-on-video flick from 1988 that has a closed down prison/asylum become the new local haunted house where one its psycho inmates has decided to make a personal visit and slay those who enter. The horror film has some great gore throughout but suffers from pacing issues that makes the film awfully boring at times as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Flashback (VHS) – A German slasher film dubbed in English about a woman who leaves an asylum after ten years to be a French tutor for some rich kids. When the rich kids play a bad prank on her, she snaps and begins slaying everyone involved. Worth watching the flick for the mere reason for a body goes through a large chipper! I give the flick 2 stars.

 

The Graveyard (VHS) – A 1972 film about a young man David who hates cats and for good reason as his mother has tortured him for years. She blames him for her crippled hip and stopping her luxury life with the man she always loved. Once David’s wife and kid are dead he gets wants revenge on his mother. Animal lovers prepare yourself for a very uneasy opening to the film as I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015 as you will find me in the “Out of Print Film Room” presented by Gross Movie Reviews. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Empire of the B’s is on sale again!

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The ‘Pulse-pounding’ saga of the Charles Band Empire…
377 pages written by Dave Jay

Charles Robert Band is one of the last great B-movie survivors-a genuine pioneer who, over four decades, forged such a unique path through the no man’s land of independent genre cinema that many thought him more than capable of seizing legendary producer Roger Corman’s long-held crown as ‘King of the B-movies’. The 1970s through to the late 1980s was the last great ‘golden age’ for the B-movie community, and with a non-stop series of grindhouse classics like Laserblast, Parasite, Re-Animator and Dolls for his own company Empire Pictures, it was the era that saw Charles Band take his rightful place in the indie hall of fame as Emperor of the ‘B’s.
FOREWORD written by Stuart Gordon!

Click HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-FxjhOZTUM to watch Charles Band himself talk about the book!

There’s only a small shipment in from the UK. Get yours while supplies last!

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