Best movies of 2016 from Gross Movie Reviews!

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Best movies of 2016!

I lied, I was going to post this the day after Christmas but fuck it! I will either be too drunk or too hungover… So these are the films I watched this year and feel are the best of 2016. I know a couple will piss off someone off and a couple people will be pissed a couple films were left off. Its a fucking list, get over it!If you wanna hear me discuss my picks you can hear me with T-shirt Joe Garcia and Kyle Poling talking about our picks for 2016 on an upcoming episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

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1) The Barn (Drive-in Theater) – Sam and Josh are just two normal high school seniors enjoying their last Devil’s Night and Halloween. Sam gets in trouble with his dad after Josh and he scare the shit out of Linnea Quigley’s character. Now Sam has to collect food for their church on Halloween and then face being grounded. But it’s Halloween and Sam refuses it to be shitty. So after seeing on TV about a band playing at a nearby town Sam and Josh come up with an idea to find a ride with friends to the concert and collect stuff in the small nearby town. When they arrive at the creepy small throwback community they find a barn. Is it ‘The Barn’ from a story that originated 30 years ago they have heard as kids that was haunted? They test the theory and just happen to awake three bad ass demons that want nothing more than blood and murder on Halloween night! Once ‘The Barn’ doors open and the demons arise, no one is safe as the creatures just begin to slash through the locals. We even get a “Yinzer” Crazy Ralph character that helps give the backstory of the demons. Now it’s up to Sam and Josh to find a way to send the demons back to hell! ‘The Barn’ is a perfect mix of 80s horror classics with a new and exciting touch to it. We get scary (amazing looking) demons, gore, Linnea Quigley and Ari Lehman, and the right amount of 80s corny horror cheese that made those horror movies so much fun! This film is a perfect Halloween-time movie that belongs on all horror fans’ watch list every Halloween… Literally watching the film I was saying to myself: I will watch this film every Halloween! It reminded me of such films: Neon Maniacs, Killer Party, Night of the Demons, Trick or Treat, horror classics that never get old. Kids, I give ‘The Barn’ 4 out of 4 stars and hands down one of the best horror films I have seen since I was a kid renting horror movies for Halloween. Check out www.nevermoreproductionfilms.com for more info.

 

2) CarousHELL (YouTube/DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers, the talented Steve Rudzinski has released another project and it does not disappoint at all. The hilarious horror film is about a carousel horse/unicorn named Duke who is at a small amusement park and part of the Carousel ride. Duke is disgruntled and tired of the amusement park life. Duke is the only talking carousel horse/unicorn with no one to talk too. But what has Duke the most disgruntled is chubby kids putting their unwashed hands all over him. So after Laurie and her younger brother Lunchbox visit the park and Lunchbox rides Duke, Duke has had enough and leaves the ride. His goal is to track down the fat kid and murder him. Meanwhile, Laurie and her younger brother go to a party as Duke begins his murder spree and only Cowboy Cool can help now. But by the time Cowboy Cool reaches the party the damage has been done as Duke has murdered his way to the kid named Lunchbox. And if this amazingly absurd horror movie couldn’t get any better or weirder depending on your point of view the carousel horse/unicorn has crazy animal sex with an incredibly hot tattooed woman who loves unicorns. Thank you Steve for helping me cross off something I thought I would never see in a horror movie. Don’t know if that is good or bad? ‘CarousHELL’ is absurd, absolutely unrealistic, completely ridiculous, and I LOVE IT!!! Steve made the impossible possible movie fans! And let’s not forget the great gore effects (not one but two great face smash effects). This film is easily one of the best features I have watched this year and will be on my “Best of 2016” list. I give this Rudzinski creation 4 out of 4 stars and you can find more or purchase it at: www.CarousHELL.com or www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

 

3) Final Girls (DVD) – The only bad thing I can say about this film was I wish I seen this sooner as this will be one of my favorite horror films I have watched in 2016. Anyway a college girl, Max, is trying to get over her mother’s death still three years later. Her best friend’s brother works at a theater that is celebrating the cult horror slashers ‘Camp Bloodbath 1 and 2’. Max’s mother was famous for starring in the original and Max is asked to come be a part of the festival. She does an accident happens which starts the theater into a full on raging fire. Max and her friends cut through the movie screen to escape and find themselves in 1986 ‘Camp Bloodbath’ movie world. The non-stop slashing, blood, laughs are non-stop as Max and friends try to figure out how to fend off the movie’s killer Billy long enough to get back to the real world! This horror film is 4 stars all the way. It’s a slasher fan’s wet dream of a horror movie!

 

4) Freaks of Nature (DVD) – It amazes me the crap that makes the theater and then the random unbelievable awesome horror films that just show up on cable, On Demand, etc. This flick is the latter as aliens attack the small town of Dillford. The town has its issues as humans, vampires, and zombies are finding it very hard to coexist these days and the alien invasion gives them a reason to fight each other. Meanwhile, during the alien invasion and the war between Dillford residents, three teenagers (a human, a vampire, and a zombie) all must get over their everyday hang-ups of being teenagers. If they do not the world is surely going to die. The film has a great dialogue, great effects, but it all doesn’t work without these three: Mackenzie Davis, Nicholas Braun, and Josh Fadem. Without them this movie is nothing but because of them the film has that allure of a ‘Weird Science’ or ‘The Monster Squad’ or ‘Popcorn’ where movie fans will want to watch it over and over again. An amazing masterpiece in my eyes as I give it 4 stars and surely it will be on my “Best of 2016 list”.

 

5) The Conjuring 2 (Theater) – After the events of the first film the Warrens find themselves investigating the famous home in Amityville in 1976. During a séance Lorraine finds herself defending herself against an evil she has never experienced before but not a part of the famous Amityville house. Once home she makes Ed promise her they take a break because she has seen his death. But this evil spirit takes residence in a single mom of four’s house in London 1977. The Warrens are called in by the church just to observe for three days. When they arrive one child is completely terrorized and the other three kids and mom scared for their lives with no one to turn too. After video proof that it was faked or supposedly fake, the Warrens rush back to the home to help the family from this beyond evil spirit that refuses to go away. Amazing flick again horror fans. I am not much into paranormal movies but the two ‘Conjuring’ flicks I have absolutely loved and glad they exist. I give the sequel 4 stars and forgive them for even thinking ‘Annabelle’ was a good idea. Wait a minute… there may be a sequel to ‘Annabelle’? Don’t fuck with the formula based on true stories Hollywood! Just sayin…

 

6) Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (VHS/DVD-R) – Let me just say this any horror film that begins with Suicidal Tendencies “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy is Dead” gets 4 stars no matter what comes next. But that just isn’t enough for this fun gem of unknown goodness! Karen Black stars as Auntie Lee, Pat Morita as the local small town sheriff, Michael Berryman as the weird dude (Larry) who takes care of the nieces’ cars after deliveries, and the very beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri may have done a lot of porn but always found a way into a stray horror film which I always enjoy finding. Teri is one of the best. But after jamming out to Suicidal Tendencies we are introduced to some lunatic who tries to carjack a young lady and becomes a victim himself for Auntie Lee. Auntie Lee for years has sold her famous meat pies to the local town folk of Penance. And these days now her nieces are all grown up they go out and lure men in for the taking. Usually if there is car trouble or car cleaning needing to be done it’s up to Larry until he is caught one day with a trunk full of bones! Pat Morita decides then with the bootleg David Bowie as a private investigator try to bring down Auntie Lee. But the real question is will the sheriff bring her in or will he become the next meat pie? Everyone is awesome in this light-hearted “Motel Hell” horror film. This movie deserves to be seen all horror movie fans as I give this fun meaty morsel 4 stars.

 

7) The Survivors (The Hack Collection Volume One) (Blu-ray) – Well the talented independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski finally granted my wish of doing a sequel to “Slasher Hunter” and did not disappoint at all. According to Steve, “it’s not just a sequel; it is a sequel to everything he has done.” If you have been following Mr. Rudzinski’s films they all have been leading to something or leave you wanting a little more and it all comes to this… Steve puts everything together in this latest project where ‘The Slashers’ are in complete disarray as Frank is in hell and they lack real leadership. Meanwhile, the group just known as “The Killers” is stronger than ever and keeps two steps ahead of the “Survivor Initiative” until now. “The Slasher Hunters” have some new allies (helps if you have seen some of Steve’s past films to understand some of the characters and why they are there) that includes one my favorite’s ‘Wolfster’. Wolfster is a character Steve came up with early in his filmmaking career I easily could have seen as a movie franchise with a new entry every 12 to 16 months? It all comes down to one final fight between The Slasher Initiative and The Killers leader Norm unless Frank finds a way out of hell? We also find out what was Frank’s worst mistake thanks to hell. This project is beyond hilarious, entertaining, and everything I have expected from such a talented filmmaker. Steve has a way of writing very likable characters good and evil that in my opinion makes him successful for the long haul. Steve this is one of the best independent projects I have seen in 2016 and hope to see a lot more as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars. The copy of “The Survivors” I have is part of “The Hack Collection Volume One” Blu-ray two-disc set that has bloopers, trailers, almost all of Steve’s movies and a lot more. Find out more about the film or purchase it at: www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com and https://www.facebook.com/SilverSpotlightFilms/?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

8) The Monster (DVD) – A slow burn creature flick that really focuses on the relationship between a troubled mother and her young daughter whose relationship is all but over. The mother hungover had promised to drive her young daughter to her father’s house but begrudgingly starts the long drive. Along the way they hit a wolf and the car stalls and gets a flat tire. The two are forced to speak to each other and call for a tow truck and paramedics. During this flashbacks explain a little more of the trouble between the two but when the tow truck arrives, the dead wolf disappears. Next thing we know Jesse the tow truck driver disappears and his arm flops on top of the car sending the two screaming for their lives in the car knowing they are not alone. The thing that is stalking them is a bad ass looking mutated gorilla/wolf/awesome practical scary ass creature that tears shit up. I really enjoyed the creature but the focus of the film the mother and daughter relationship. Plus, I believe it’s time for the “creature feature” to make a comeback and this flick will most likely make it on my ‘best of 2016 list’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

9) Let Us Prey (DVD) – An Irish film about a new constable starting her job for a station in a small town. While walking the beat she witnesses a drunken kid run down a man. She takes the kid in but cannot find the man. Later the mysterious man is found by other officers and brought in to get a statement but refuses to speak but just stare. The mysterious no name man is put into a cell while they call a doctor and that is when things begin to get weird because anyone that is near the mysterious man knows their deep secrets. But what all inside the station don’t know he is there to collect souls before the stroke of midnight and everyone’s past comes back to haunt them in one way or another. The film starts slow but builds into a chaotic, bloody climax worth checking out. In the end, the movie starting off slow makes a lot of sense after watching it as this is one of those lesser known recent horror movies worth seeking out as I give it 4 stars.

 

10 – tie) The Ghosts of Johnson Woods (DVD) – A project from Glenn Berggoetz I have been following ever since Glenn announced Joe Bob Briggs was casted for it. Of course the talented Mr. Berggoetz writes, directs, and produces this project and goes off the beaten path of his usual projects that are injected with comedy, horror, and sometimes the absurd. Glen goes the direction of dramatic thriller of a boy meets girl, girl convinces boy to make a movie just involving themselves to get famous. Lenny and Heather rip ‘Blair Witch Project’ and discuss what and how they can do it on Lenny’s iPhone. Cheap, easy, make quick cash… A friendship is born in a weird way between Lenny and Heather as both want a movie but for different reasons. After settling on the “Johnson Woods” legend as their backdrop, Lenny and Heather pick a good spot in the woods and begin filming. As a viewer you get to see the relationship grow between the two even though we are never introduced to Heather’s parent or parents and the only other main character is Lenny’s dad (Joe Bob Briggs) and a hooker. As the relationship and film blossoms a creep factor sets in, especially in the last ten minutes of the film. No nudity, not much blood, interesting oddity of boy meets girl storyline, but the creepiness of the ending makes this strange tale an amazing independent thriller that will make movie fans cringe with fear! Glenn you made a cringe worthy film as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Glenn check out: www.facebook.com/glenn.berggoetz and www.facebook.com/ghostsofjohnsonwoods .

 

10 – tie) Dreaming Purple Neon (DVD) – Holy Fucking Shit! It’s another balls to walls horror film from Todd mother fucking Sheets! Todd Sheets has almost outlasted everyone in the independent horror scene. While Jon McBride and the Polonia Brothers were getting some mad press in the late 80s and early 90s with their shot-on-VHS classics the highly talented Todd Sheets was perfecting his craft until he blindsided the horror community with his project ‘Zombie Bloodbath’! Since then Todd Sheets has become a household name in the horror community for making some of the craziest ass over the top Indy horror films you could ever witness. And saying that with this latest project from Mr. Sheets he may have topped everything he has done? The film begins with some shady business/gangsters planning something and talking about the purple neon. Next thing we know they shoot a man in the office ask the receptionist to clean it up and she gets scared. So she goes to her best friend at a dentist office with these drugs and two guns. Now understand there fine folks this entire movie (95%) supposedly takes place in and down in the basement of a dentist office… On top of that we have a creepy old dude named Mr. Archer hanging out in the basement with naked people (hot women and non-hard penis hanging around like Christmas decorations) talking about a vessel. Which happens to be some teenager upstairs in the dentist chair that doesn’t know the business/gangster dudes have shown up and shut down the dentist office? Confessing but awesome a ritual takes place, a couple people die horrifically, some torture, a female demon is born, the main gangster dude gets castrated, more blood and guts, more naked people, and if the female demon Abby (I will call her) lives the apocalypse happens! And the purple neon drugs will make sense eventually. But wait there is more… Spoiler alert: no fucking lie, bootleg Gene Simmons shows up and kills a zombie while satanic Jesus is enjoying the falling black rain. Yep, my brain hurts just trying to recall the most unpredictable ending I ever watched and oh yeah I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. If there was something that stop me from giving it a perfect and it’s the 111 minute running time but hey I feel like an ass just for nit picking… So horror fans go do yourself a favor and go get this flick from www.zombiebloodbath.com or check out more about it at www.facebook.com/DreamingPurpleNeon .

 

Notable films that should not be ignored…

 

Bloodsucking Bastards (DVD) – A very hilarious vampire flick about a couple office slackers and their best friend who is trying to break into management. They work for a firm/company that sells the boner pills, abs-flex, etc. They phone sales people who call and try to suck you into deals for shit you don’t need. Well higher-ups have decided it’s time for a shake-up and bring in someone new who has a different way of getting the most out of his sales team. He turns them into vampires that apparently make a ton of sales and don’t complain about work conditions. When it’s almost too late the slackers and best friend realize vampires have taken over their company and they must look up on Wikipedia on how to kill them? Underrated gory awesomeness best describes this 3 ½ star horror film.

 

Wer (DVD) – The film begins with a family hiking it out in the middle of rural France only to capture their vicious animal attack that killed the husband and kid and scarred the wife, Claire Porter. Immediately, local authorities bring in a very large hairy man that doesn’t talk much and lived with his mother nearby the attack. This gets the attention of an American Human Rights Lawyer, Kathrine, who has a practice there and wants to represent the very large hairy man, Talan. The local authorities disregard that only an animal could do the damage it did and this man Talan has a rare disease that affects his joints, bones, etc. So it seems like a slam dunk for the lawyer to get Talan off from this brutal murder. But tests keep coming up inconclusive; the police know more than they are saying and Kathrine and friends dig deeper into Talan and his family and find a history like no other. That’s when the movie gets even more interesting when Talan escapes and begins a city wide murder spree! A werewolf flick with a whole different spin on the werewolf legend in this American/French production that was shot in Romania. On top of that I loved the creature and blood effects in this entertaining and refreshing spin on the werewolf genre. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (DVD) – A zombie film that not only snuck under most people’s radars but was an actual good zombie flick is about zombies in 1700s England! Sometime between 1700 and 1800 London goes all ‘Escape From New York’ and builds a wall around the city after a zombie outbreak happens. London builds an army to fight this menace and keep it in check. As it closes in on 1800 the problem is all but gone but still exists as people like to hide they may have been bitten. Great concept so far, then we have Brother Noopsie aka Charles Dance training his daughters to be not fine women but how to defend themselves against the zombie apocalypse. After attending a dance a few zombies show up only to be a sign of something bigger is coming? End of days… This was an absolute treat to get lost in as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Bigfoot vs. Zombies (DVD) – Come on people the title says it all right? And you gotta love Mark Polonia is working non-stop in bringing us great films such as this lovely gem. Also if I have seen correctly there was an Anthony Polonia working on effects with Brett Piper for the film? But anyway something hokey is going on down at the Wyoming County Body Farm. The bodies are supposed to be for forensic school for cadets but a certain scientist has been performing experiments. Not only is he checking out how the corpses decompose he is seeing if he can make them decompose faster to make more money? This soon goes in full effect when a barrel is dumped on the property and the dead begin to rise. Meanwhile our old friend Bigfoot is watching from afar and finds himself in the gated military complex (it has two guards at the most). Now zombies are attacking the complex and the scientists and Bigfoot is pissed and begins smashing zombie skulls to help people escape into the woods. In the end Bigfoot is a zombie stomping bad ass in this wonderful entertaining entry into the Bigfoot genre. Thank you again Mr. Polonia for your work as I give your film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

You Only Die Once (YouTube) – A 29 minute horror/comedy, that is delightful, well-crafted, and an absolutely a bloody good time by filmmaker Amanda B. Goodman. Linda apparently has bad taste in men but that doesn’t stop her and her two best friends from fighting the supernatural. Even if it means being attacked by rabid ferrets! The trio has been through it all but they are having rough times when Linda’s latest ex-boyfriend has become a vampire. To make things worse he has two vamp bitches and wants to break up the trio by adding to his nest. Lots of movie and creature of the night references make this gem go by quickly but the trio overcome their differences and defeats the new vamp or did they? Goodman finds a nice blend of gore and comedy that will have horror fans asking for seconds once they watch ‘You Only Die Once’. I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Find out more at: www.facebook.com/YouOnlyDieOnce2016/ and AmandaBGoodman.com .

 

President Wolfman (DVD) – The title alone is what reeled me into wanting to watch this gem of a horror flick. But when I opened it and started to read the sleeve and began watching the film to my amazement the project was entirely stock footage of public domain titles and major parts are from the 1973 film ‘The Werewolf of Washington’. This 1973 film stars Dean Stockwell who was the go between for Sam and Ziggy from the ‘Quantum Leap’ show. But anyway the film is edited footage with new voiceovers, music, etc. Amazing work from Mike Davis and crew to craft a horror movie about president John Wolfman who tries to spend more time with his son Bobby and is attacked by a diseased coyote on a camping trip! From there mysterious murders are happening in the nation’s capital and that is the least of their problems as the Chinese continue their takeover of America. At one point President Wolfman has surgery that turns him into a hippie but reverses to a werewolf again. John Wolfman is also being pushed by Congress to sell out to the Chinese as they all will own a skyscraper in New York City. A fun horror film and a truly amazing accomplishment in editing by all involved. There were several parts of the film that I could not stop laughing at as I give this fun creation 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find this and many other fine films at www.wildeyereleasing.com .

 

Upsidedown Cross (DVD) – This well-thought out depressing feature is about a young lady named Nadine who is brilliantly played by Erin Russ. Nadine has a modeling career going if that is what you want to call it as her so-called boyfriend Victor shoots her up with drugs so she can have pictures taken of her by dirty old dudes who don’t have cell phones (wait I don’t have a cell phone?). Anyway a gentleman talks her into touching him, sort of? And that’s when Victor and others are being arrested. Nowhere to go Nadine goes back home where mom seems to have lost touch with reality and relies on TV preachers for her medicine to get through the day. Nadine truly wants to kick the drug habit but Nadine and her mom are complete opposites and with great direction Nadine comes off as a dirty cunt rag when arguing with her mom about money, drugs, life. Delaih, Nadine’s mom takes it one step further by calling one of the crazy preacher numbers and they are visited by an older man who claims to be a traveling preacher who travels around the country to stop the devil’s work. The preacher played sadistically by David Yow believes they need to rid Nadine of her demons as she is possessed and this is what makes her a sex and drug addict. Some uncomfortable scenes happen between Nadine and the preacher that leaves Nadine looking more abused than ever but mom only wants to know “Has the demons left you”. The film is a little uncomfortable, depressing, and one of the more interesting films I have watched in recent memory. Erin Russ played the Nadine character perfectly; you hated her and truly feel bad for her in the span of 90 minutes. Loved the fake infomercials they just added to the intensity of the film. Usually I am the guy who watches sequels, zombies, and monster films all day but this film hit a weird nerve in me that made me glad I watched this very dark film. I give the movie 3 out of 4 stars. You can purchase and find out more about the film at www.alternativecinema.com .

 

Reviled: Ep. 2 (Vimeo) – Filmmaker Jim Stramel continues his zombie saga that revolves around zombie pit fighting in the south. The events happen after the zombie apocalypse has come and gone and were a blimp on the social radar screen. Frank and his zombie daughter travel in their dirty van killing or crippling zombies in the illegal sport for money. But the real story is how Frank is still attached to his undead daughter and refuses to let go. This episode continues to introduce some new characters and expand the universe of this unique idea. Its dirty, has a lot of grime, a little gory, and absolutely beautiful zombie universe. My favorite part of this episode might be the kids selling bug spray for 25 cents as it is a little thing that makes it known to me that Jim Stramel takes this project seriously and make me wanting more! I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Wanna check it out or maybe throw a few dollars Stramel and company’s way to help fund future episodes go to: www.reviledzombieseries.com .

 

Best Documentaries of the year!

 

Just Desserts: The Making of Creepshow (Blu-ray) – A Michael Felsher project that took a life of its own as it went from a special feature to a full-length documentary that can only be explained as an orgasmic explosion of amazingness about the legendary film ‘Creepshow’. The documentary covers everything of how it began to Tom Savini thinking it was Halloween for five months straight while being on set to make all sorts of creatures for the anthology. The film is almost timeless and has one of my favorite stories of horror in the segment called ‘The Crate’. The documentary has some great interviews with George Romero, Savini, Ed Harris and so on but also great stories about Stephen King and him being a kid at heart. The Blu-ray also has ‘Scream Greats’ Tom Savini video which was watched by many horror fans who grew up in the 80s but now has a commentary as well with Savini looking back at the video. This Blu-ray is a true nerd out of a disc as it has everything you could ever imagine about ‘Creepshow’ and for that I say thank you to Mr. Felsher as I give the Blu-ray 4 out of 4 stars but also it will be one of the best horror discs of 2016! Place your order now at www.synapse-films.com .

 

B-Documentary (DVD) – Nick Charles for his first film chose to do a documentary about “how to make a film”. In doing that Mr. Charles traveled to meet and interview celebrities Lloyd Kaufman, H.G. Lewis, Bill Johnson, Lisa Gaye, D.J. Calvitto, Patrick Madcox, and Nurse Hatchet. With this Nick Charles gets these fine people to tell stories of “how they got started”, “keys to success”, “how to make a movie”, along with several other subjects that includes “digital vs film”. The movie isn’t so much a documentary as much as a perfect instructional guide for movie fans and filmmakers alike to hear what’s it like to make a movie or act in one. They all have sound advice and varying opinions which makes this film not just a must see but a must own for any horror movie or independent movie fan out there. Nick Charles did an amazing job first time out in the filmmaking world and now has my attention in what he does next. I personally wish him good luck. I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars and more about it and where to purchase it can be found at www.officialdungeonfilms.com .

 

Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary (DVD/Vimeo) – These days it seems a lot of documentaries are being made about horror films and such. Some deserve it? ‘Pet Sematary’ deserved it for sure for its impact on the horror genre. Honestly horror movie fans it was one of the better book to film adaptions of King’s. The Stephen King story that was brought to life by director Mary Lambert had a long journey and interesting one. The film came at the end of the “Slasher Era” and no studio wanted it to be made mainly because of the kid death in the story/script/movie. But with a strike looming at the time Mary Lambert and others took advantage of this and the rest was film history. The documentary takes a very in-depth look how it got from book to film but also how it’s one of King’s darkest books that scared him when he first wrote it. The filmmakers tracked down everyone that had anything to do with the film and they share stories of how the production got to Maine instead of California but what it meant to the small town Maine residents especially being a Stephen King movie. Plus the interview with all the cast members involved sharing their stories of on and off set makes this one the best and interesting horror documentaries of recent times. I believe it was crucial having Mako Hughes talk about his experience and what he actually remembers of the project to make this the perfect documentary for ‘Pet Sematary’ fans. The film did win “Best Documentary” at the Rhode Island International Horror Film Festival in 2014 which I know why and give it 4 out of 4 stars. For more info on the project and its upcoming release check out: Official Store: http://shop.terrorfilms.net/ , Official Trailer Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnP7swXKQXo, Official Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/UnearthedandUntold, Terror Films Website: www.terrorfilms.net .

 

Lords of Light! The Story of Thundarr the Barbarian (YouTube) – A fun 20 minute short film and look back at one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons of all time. Interviews with creators Ruby and Spears, opens up some light on how they came up with the concept for the cartoon but how it did not last either? If you are old like me and remember Saturday morning cartoons this is worth the trip down memory lane and they claim “Star Wars” may have help them come up with the cartoon. I give it 4 stars.

 

Adjust Your Tracking (DVD) – So you wanna be a VHS collector? First watch this documentary that takes you through early days of VHS, how Blockbuster Video killed the business, and how collecting changed after someone was selling a VHS copy of ‘Tales From the Quad Dead Zone’ on EBay. The documentary does a wonderful job of tracking down some of the most popular collectors and getting their stories of how and why this format? It is a film that sheds light on why this is no different than collecting baseball cards or albums and why its loved by so many. Plus the film does a wonderful job of pointing out some people who are trying to keep the format alive. Interesting and overall production are exactly what you want in a documentary about collecting VHS tapes as I give it 4 stars.

 

 

 

DRIVE-IN HORRORSHOW PRESENTS GHOULISH STORIES GIVEAWAY!

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October 20, 2016 – Boston, MA

exclusivebooks

Drive-In Horrorshow is proud to announce the Ghoulish Stories Giveaway, running from October 20th through 30th. The winner will be picked on Halloween!

Drive-In Horrorshow is currently releasing brand-new Ghoulish Short Stories! Each month, we publish a never-before-seen bloody tale from our archives, featuring killer pumpkins, hideous freaks, twisted slashers, and much more. They are free to read on Wattpad.

To celebrate our new tales, we’re running the Ghoulish Stories Giveaway! It’s free to enter, and three grand prize winners will receive a limited-edition book of six Ghoulish Short Stories! These will be printed exclusively for the contest, so the only way to win one is to enter.

Every entrant automatically gets a special prize: Ghoulish Story Trading Cards! Remember Fright Flicks horror trading cards from the 1980s? Our collectible Trading Cards were inspired by our favorite Fright Flicks that featured Freddy, Jason, and other horror icons. Each Ghoulish Story Trading Card features cover art uniquely created for each story by the great artists at our Drive-In Horrorshow Team.

Here are the contest details:

-Three grand prizes! -Limited-Edition Ghoulish Stories book -Signed Drive-In Horrorshow Soundtrack LP -Drive-In Horrorshow comic book -Collectible pins -Each entrant gets Ghoulish Stories Trading Cards -Duration: October 20-30, with the three grand prize winners chosen on Halloween! -Entry is free!

 

You can read all our brand-new Ghoulish Short stories on Wattpad.com or the Wattpad app, available for free on iOS or Android. To enter the contest visit http://www.DriveInHorrorshow.com

Happy Halloween!

 

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Contest Details:

 

Contest begins October 20th, 2016 and ends at Midnight EST October 30th, 2016. RULES- 1)You MUST BE SUBSCRIBED to the Drive-In Horrorshow Twitter and/or HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT to enter!

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Gross movie Reviews #282

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Gross Movie Reviews #282

 

By Tim Gross

 

Abominable Snowman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Adrian Paul stars as a helicopter pilot who takes an old friend’s son up a snowy mountain for him to search for answers about his father or just kill the CGI gray bear they call the Abominable Snowman. Either or, you know what you are in for the next 85 minutes or so. People getting their asses handed to them in this terrible film starring shitty snow beasts. But in my opinion we need more Sasquatch films… starring Lance Henriksen. I give it 1 star.

Descendents (DVD) – So I sat down and finally watched this foreign zombie film from Chile that apparently was originally titled Solos before it got its release here in America. And I wasn’t impressed and felt like I should start drilling holes into my head Hebert West style for attempting to watch this zombie flick about an airborne virus that has affected everyone except a few children that seem immune to the virus. The story follows a nine year old who is trying to make it to the ocean because her mother told her she’ll be safe there and a big crayon drawn octopus will come out of the ocean and piss me off for watching this shit! I give the film 0 stars.

Puppet Monster Massacre

The Puppet Monster Massacre (DVD) – A wonderfully funny and beautiful horror film starring puppets that will have you screaming for more. Some kids are invited to spend the night in the Wagner mansion to hopefully win a million dollars. In fun old school horror genre fashion you have the girl, the nerd, the nervous kid, and the bad ass couple who have sex in the graveyard… But soon they learn they are being eaten by a horrible creature that just happens to be the creation of an evil doctor who is trying to complete his work he did in WWII. And the evil doctor known as Wagner wants revenge of course too which why he invited the teenagers. The horrible creature grows with each meal until he is fighting an army of US soldiers outside of the mansion. At this point this is where the film breaks into complete fun bloody chaos in the last ten minutes. Dustin Mills who wrote and directed the film should be congratulated in giving us the second greatest puppet horror movie, “Meet the Feebles” being the first of course. I give this flick 4 stars.

Vampire (VHS) – An old school vampire flick that stars Richard Lynch as the evil blood sucker who just happens to be brought back to life when a ground breaking ceremony for a new church disturbs the area Richard Lynch was buried at. E.G. Marshall plays a former police detective who is curious of the ground breaking site because of what happen there 40 years ago to his partner. A few weeks pass and Richard Lynch comes to a party to discuss some business matters with Jason (The Exorcist) Miller to discuss of the lost paintings that world hasn’t seen in centuries that just so happens to be near the ground breaking. Soon after Miller’s wife is killed by the evil vampire, Miller and E.G. Marshall set out to destroy Lynch. A classic vampire film where holy water, crosses, and daylight still affect the vampire, but also the evil vampire is played by the legendary Richard Lynch who plays it perfect. I give the film 3 stars.

Blood_Creek

Blood Creek (DVD) – A German road scholar contacts German immigrants here in the US in the late 30s to ask their consent to come live with them.  The German farmers were not sure what they were about to sign on for once he came and began to read through some old books about the occult. Flash forward 70 years later and a paramedic is taking care of his crippled father and his missing war hero brother’s kids. After taking the kids trick or treating, sleeping during a horrible rain storm the paramedic’s missing brother played by Dominic Purcell wakes him and tells him he needs to help him get revenge. Purcell’s character is giving full disclosure to his brother but his brother follows him anyway to figure out what the hell is going on. Purcell’s character hell bent on killing the family that kept him captive figures out during his rage something else was going on and he was only a small part of it. The German farmers have had a secret for the past 70 years: a) they don’t age and b) They locked the road scholar in the basement as he is pure evil and needs blood to live. So the farmers have kidnapped people over the years to keep the creature, thing, road scholar in the basement. But now he is loose and wants to complete his process of becoming an unstoppable Nazi demon. The only set back of the film is it takes quite a while to develop but once it gets going this horror flick is just fucking bad ass on all levels! This overlooked horror flick is well worth the buy folks as I give it 3 ½ stars. For the love of god people there is a scene where an undead horse breaks through a window and starts chomping on this dude’s shoulder like it were rump roast!

Death Moon (VHS) – A beyond horrible 1978 werewolf film that happens to take place in Hawaii of all places. But anyway this stressed out dude is told he needs a vacation and begins having dreams of weird people dancing around like they are warding away evil spirits and wearing werewolf masks. Soon women are being shredded on a nightly basis at the hotel and the authorities are at a loss on who or what it can be. Its bad folks, it makes the Twisted Brain aka Horror High transformation done by Rick Baker! I give it a ½ star.

Spike (DVD) – A useless piece of shit so called horror film about four people who get a flat tire and drive far into the woods only to be attacked by a thing that is covered in spikes that just happens to be a dude. And did I mention he wants to bang the one girl in the buckeye and get have her live him forever. The film tries to be a horror fairy tale that fails on levels and should make the filmmaker question going into a different field than filmmaking. I give this flick nothing star wise!

Heebie Jeebies (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Five Asian dudes are left in a caved-in gold mine in the 1840s only to come back from the dead as horrible disfigured vengeance demons in 2013 when two dudes looking for gold in an abandoned mine disturbs their resting place. Soon the small southern town is being littered with murders and missing gold. Surprisingly the film has Jennifer Rubin do a cameo and the screenplay written by Trent Haaga. The film is nor good or bad but just more of a time filler which was a step up from SyFy’s last effort Abominable Snowman. I give it 2 stars.

Now you can visit me at my new website: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can purchase my newest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Also let’s not forget I’m a part of “The Greatest Show Unearthed”… For more details on this show go check out and support at: http://www.facebook.com/BarnabusBaileyGSU and http://www.barnabusbailey.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe has the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but The Abomination shirt also!!!! www.fastcustomshirts.com

Don’t forget you can find me at Horror Realm this March 15th thru March 17th, 2013… Check for details on the convention at www.horrorrealmcon.com .

Hello horror fans and welcome to the official Gross Movie Reviews website!

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Welcome horror peeps! Yes it took me awhile but we all get busy. Between writing reviews, co-directing Jagoff Massacre, starting to put together a new book, and trying to work the real full time job it can take up all my time.

I’m here!!! Yes, the website is a little different Bastards of Horror… It may not be as professional looking right now, but as I learn on the fly how to do things and get a little money for it it will improve over time. But this is the official Gross Movie Reviews website that has been in the back of my mind for awhile but just never really thought it was the right time for it yet, and now it is!

But first thank you all for the support and thank you to all the filmmakers who sent me screeners during the time I didn’t have a website. Horror movie fans nothing will change:

I will post my reviews again…

I will post independent film news, press releases, etc.

I will still post all the Full Moon news!

I will post movie pics, posters, etc.

So now that it is done, keep coming back to visit, grab a beer (maybe me one also) and enjoy.

Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………