Tag Archives: independent film

Gross Movie Reviews #607

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Oops! You’re a Vampire (DVD) – Here comes something of a little different for the Indy vampire genre from writer/director Phil Messerer who is a vet in independent filmmaking. The film has some great musical touches and sets the tone quickly with its quirky feels of a late 90s/early 2000s SOV flick. The creative vampire film introduces the viewer to a young lady Lara who is gives us a fun look at family and how they are killing her slowly along with living in sleepy Sugarloaf, New York. But things change after one evening where Lara is introduced to a book (Illustrated Book of Vampires) and performs a ritual on her twin sister Helen in hopes of getting “the anal acne curse”. Helen next day dies of an extreme nose bleed! But the dead don’t stay dead especially when they are a vampire and thirst for blood after death. This is where the weirdness begins with Lara’s brother researching what happen with Helen, Lara panicking that her sister is still haunting her life from the grave, and mom just trying to keep the family together you will enjoy along with a little dry humor that also gives a little extra life to a genre that has seen way too many bad creations over the years. I like the running time, the set-up, some of the background visuals at the beginning, but if there is a flaw I would have liked the sound to be better? Anyway any casual independent film fan needs to do them a favor and get ahold of this entertaining flick as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. You can check out the film here:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0B6RYPSQT/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

Tales of the Third Dimension (YouTube) – A long out of print anthology from 1984 that took me a few minutes of watching before knowing that I had seen it I believe when I was 10 or 11 years old. We got a skeleton puppet as the narrator and wraparound telling jokes and setting up each story as we get three stories. The first is a vampire couple who are looking to adopt a child and get the “problem child”. Second story is set in the past a bit where two guys Charlie and Freddy get greedy and go grave robbing for riches. The third story is weird and hilarious as the grandkids are left with Grandma for Christmas week and she attempts to kill the kids but fails when Santa shows up to save the day. The anthology has its flaws but still a lot of fun and surprised there hasn’t been a special edition of this anthology out there yet as I give it 3 stars.

What Waits Below (DVD) – A 1985 adventure film that stars Lisa Blount from ‘Prince of Darkness’ fame where the army has lost its transmitter in a remote place of the world where a cave is the entrance for a whole other world. An Army consultant and some scientists find this cave and go exploring for the transmitter only to find another race of humanoids living deep in the caves who stole the transmitter. Starts off interesting but putters out quickly and the humanoids fail to have that ‘wow’ factor keeping me interesting as I have to give this film only 2 stars.

Fear Pharm (DVD) – Four young people head to the local family-owned corn maze on Halloween that has stories about an unfortunate cult-like incident 15 years ago that no one can really prove or disprove. Melanie, one of the four in the group happens to be the “10,000 person” to come through the gate and gets the chance to go through the “VIP maze”. The group makes it through in so much time they win $10,000! But is it too good to be true, the kids don’t care as it will be fun getting scared and possibly winning a whole lot of cash. Problem is the group doesn’t know if they don’t make it through they will die. Without giving too much away because I consider this film to be “the little horror film that could”. But the filmmaker and crew made great use of location, great camera work at times, and kept the story lean and fresh. This movie has no business being as good as it actually is? They took a generic horror formula that has been used several times in recent years and gave it substance! One of my favorite parts of the film is a character getting his arm cut off and his reaction to it was simple but effective. This is the type of film for horror fans that is a gem that gets talked about well after its release when it hits a streaming platform like Shudder and Tubi and makes you wonder how this didn’t get a bigger release? Anyway I say fucking enjoy kids as this was a huge surprise and have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Evil Dead Rise (On Demand) – So I waited for the lunacy to die out a bit before I tackled watching this film just like I did with the remake. Now to explain myself: don’t get me wrong I am a huge ‘Evil Dead’ fan like a lot of people but felt it was done after we got ‘Evil Dead vs. Ash’ TV series. I thought that chapter of Bruce, Sam, and Robert was over. On top of that the trailers for this film reminded me of ‘REC’ way too much. So take this however you but it’s a bit of a rant and a review? Anyway after an earthquake hole opens up in a parking garage of an apartment building that unearths an opening into an old vault below. This kid crawls down and of course finds the “book of the dead” and some albums to go with it. As soon as he plays them some Evil Dead shit happens and you have your movie. Is it bad… no. Is it memorable… no. Again just like the remake the lunatics lost their mind but once that dies out as it will just like before it is hard if not impossible to come close to what the originals did. Don’t get me wrong I am glad somebody is trying something with the series to give a new generation of horror fans a fun movie but please do not compare to what was already done because this is just a wannabe of what could have been done? No matter what hopefully this inspires the series to take off in another direction as I can only give this film 2 stars as I should of just stuck with ‘meh’ as my review.

Destiny to Order (VHS/YouTube) – Leave it to me to watch another Canadian out of print movie that you really cannot classify in any certain genre especially when you have Michael Ironside playing violin in this 1989 flick I never heard of until now. JD is an author who has just about completed another manuscript when he heads to the roof for a smoke with a friend and talks about life. A storm occurs and his computer has a system error that’s sets events in motion where all his characters from his books come to life and he is now living the story. Problem is his bad guy of the story has stolen the main disk and now wants rewrites and figures out he is now the author. The film is sloppy and weird but does have Michael Ironside and that will always make it worth a watch as I give the film 2 stars.

Scream (On Demand) – For those counting while reading this that is number five which after the last entry about a decade or so ago I thought that shit was done. But you know me and sequels so it was time to give this horror franchise a chance again and see what I was getting into? Personally I believed they told all they could through the third film and the fourth felt way too much like cash on nostalgia that just didn’t go over well at all. So it has been 25 years since the original events in Woodsboro and this sequel goes through the motions of capturing that and reintroducing old surviving characters. But unlike that last sequel this had a much different feel and introduces two sisters (Sam and Tara) who are the new main focus and likable characters. Again without giving too much away this film felt like the original three and the right respect of how to allow the new characters have fun and bring horror fans back in the fold of the movie within the movie as I give the film 3 stars.

Scream 6 (On Demand) – Another sequel was quickly pooped out into existence but yet again expanded the ‘Scream/Stab universe’ as this follows some of the things they did with part two as the cast points it out throughout this film. Now the sisters are living in New York dealing with the fallout differently of being part of the Ghost face legacy. Sam is looking after Tara because she wants to protect her at all costs but just like Gale and Sid explained the first time around “you are now a part of this”. Once again they use the Billy Loomis character from the first film as a plot point and filmmaker gave this movie a more of a violent revenge plot of sorts as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest Movie Schedule is up!

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August 5th, 2023

(Understand some movie times may be off a minute or two because of changing movies, people getting settled, pause for an award, or a filmmaker who may want to say a few words. It will be tight and most likely run over 7pm a few minutes at the end but it will be good. Besides we are a small show with a small crew trying to do everything we can to put this on so as always things are subject to change…)

Because it is Grossfest tradition we always start the show with this:

Hexercise 11:05am – 11:25am

Doomsday Stories 11:25am -1:27pm

Night of the Axe 1:27pm – 2:30pm

Bathtub Shark Attack 2:30pm – 4:05pm

(Quick pause for anyone that wants to run to the main room and see the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award presented)

Then My Mind Walked Away 4:05pm – 5:10pm

Shingles the Movie 5:10pm – 7:10pm

http://www.grossfest.com

Grossfest has sold out vendor spaces!

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Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in for movies, vendors, and just hanging with some very cool talented people

Start making plans…

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East
699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235
412-244-1600
or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com
Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention… again!
See yinz there!

Movies that will play that day (times will be posted in the next few weeks along with the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award being given away once again, and yes we know who we are giving it to already)

Grossfest guests:
Drew Marvick
Madeline Deering
Jim Roberts
James L. Edwards
Steve Rudzinski
Adam Clevenger
The Mummy and the Monkey

Movies:
Hexercise
Then My Mind Walked Away
Shingles The Movie
Bathtub Shark Attack
Doomsday Stories
Night of the Axe

Check our Grossfest group page or www.grossfest.com for list of vendors. Plus any questions or comments please send to grossfest@gmail.com

Vendors:
Cluck, Cluck Productions
Glyphs & Glam
Dazed and Disorderly
Barry the Movie Demon
Wolf Hollow LLC
MMH Productions
Pgh Scrubs Guy
Minerva’s Trinkets
Nostalgic Nightmare Productions
Face Melt Productions
Broaden Torture Productions
Drunken Yinzers Productions
Video Nasty Productions
13 Occult
Shoggoth Suds
Midnight Magazine
Independent American Pictures
Addison Binek
Lou Ickes
48 Hour Film Project
Kiss of Death Productions
Cindy’s Creature Chaos
The Cinema Psychos Show
The Artwork of Travis Trium Perfectum
1331 Studios
Neens Soaps
Such Babz Customs
Sydneys Scrunchies
Spirit of Halloween
Magical Resin Shop

Gross Movie Reviews #606

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Renfield (On Demand) – Nic Cage as Dracula and Nicholas Hoult as Renfield oh I was in for this from day one when the trailer hit. But instead of just telling another story directly about Dracula this story is from the point of view of Renfield in present day and his struggles with serving his master. Times have changed and it’s much tougher for Renfield to navigate today’s society let alone having his own doubts about what he is doing so he joins a support group. After the crazy opening of this film as Renfield narrates it is one laugh after another because the chaos Renfield deals with along with making a new friend by accident. While Renfield isn’t at his support group wanting out of his toxic relationship with his boss Renfield is helping his new cop friend Quincy a loud mouth cop trying to bring down a crime family. The film is hilariously over the top but at the same time super entertaining as Nic Cage just eats up the chance of playing Dracula. For me at least I found myself admiring what Nic Cage did as I haven’t seen quite a performance like this since Vincent Price in the original “House on Haunted Hill” or more recent decades Rutger Hauer in “Split Second”. This bloody good time has much rewatch ability and feel this will become a horror staple around Halloween for horror fans who want to lighten up the mood as I can’t help but give this terrific film 4 stars.

Death Toilet 3: Doody Calls (Tubi) – The Vietnam vet Baxter is finally set in present day with this sequel which by the way has anybody questioned how this dude is not old enough to serve? I know it’s important to the plot… Anyway, filmmaker Evan Jacobs has brought back the Baxter character for another go around of shooting up satanic toilets. It has been years since Baxter has had any issues but during that slow time has developed a death toilet meter, trying to fix his old truck, and eventually selling his brother’s house where this ‘mess’ started. But the death toilets refuse to stay dead and are back again forcing Baxter to do something extreme as bringing back his priest friend from the dead to help him track the death toilets! It all leads to huge climax in the original bathroom where it started but will this be the end? Actually no because I have found two more sequels and it is just a matter of me tracking down ways of watching these two latest sequels as I give this more watchable Indy sequel 2 stars

Pillow Party Massacre (DVD) – Yes kids cross another off the list. This film does present day “Slaughter High” in reverse as a young lady named Ash has a prank pulled on her at the ‘Spring Formal’ in a high school bathroom. Minutes later Ash believing her life is ruined finds her asshole boyfriend and shoots him in the head sending everyone into mass chaos. Two years go by and her former friends head to a cabin for a weekend of fun. Once the wheels are in motion we know what is going to happen in this slasher as a mysterious or not so mysterious killer shows up to kill off the girls one by one. The film gets started quickly but goes into super dramatic mode for a long period of time which dulls the impact of the fun this slasher film could have had? I like the cast and the script is there just felt this film could have used less dramatics in the storyline as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Cinco de Mayo (DVD) – A 70 minute Indy holiday film that pays homage of sorts to “USA Up All Night” while giving a blast of a no budget horror film that shouldn’t be as good as it was! A teacher to trying his best to teach his students to heritage and culture of Mexico and his last ditch effort is to give the young minds passion like his for the upcoming holiday. But in this racist society Mr. Valdez or “El Maestro” may have finally been pushed too far as unbeknownst to him he was a part of a social experiment that goes wrong quickly. Is it Mr. Valdez just had enough of stupid people or is it really the social experiment that makes him begins his slaughter? You cannot go wrong with this no budget Indy flick that needs to be celebrated and talked about more as I give the film 3 stars.

The Norah Zone (YouTube/DVD) – I was finally able to track down this Dutch (I think) post-apocalyptic short film (38 minutes) where the whole world went to shit. Europe has become a forbidden zone and we have survivors devolving and torturing each other for survival of sorts as supplies run low. The film feels experimental or even like a student film where they took the middle plot of a post-apocalyptic film and threw it on screen with not much of ending or exactly a beginning (that is debatable). Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed what I watched just felt like this was something shown from a much bigger project if that makes sense as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Prey (DVD) – Aka Alien Prey aka Terror in Amityville Park as you can see why I finally decided to sit down and watch this film so I can add it to the “Amityville list”? Does it really belong there? That is a very good question as this was released in 1977 before the original Amityville but yet somehow at some point in time got an Amityville title… but it has aliens man! With that out of the way I present entry #48 as the opening credits gave me childhood flashbacks playing the Atari 2600. Some strange dude named Anderson appears on a young couple’s property one morning in the countryside. This of course happens after the night before where flashing lights and another couple killed near their car in the middle of nowhere. See where sex gets you kids? The couple takes him in but uneasy about it as it disrupts their dream life as the suspense and the tension builds between the three. When the couple isn’t looking Anderson high tails it back to this cabin to communicate with his home base about humans. This whole thing from beginning to end is weird fucking set up as I give it 2 stars.

The Unspoken (DVD) – Aka The Origin of The Amityville Terror from 2015, apparently the Amityville part got renamed in the Italian markets causing this to be entry #49. Now it would appear this was just in title only but spoiler alert but there is a little tidbit at the end of the film that makes this part of the series… sort of. Just pay attention because you will most likely have the same reaction I did after watching it for 80 minutes and say, “Really?” The film opens in mid-October 1997 where an officer checks out a disturbance on Briar Road that just so happens to be a murder scene with a family missing. Flashes forward 17 years where a young lady Angela takes a job at the murder house because her father has been out of work for the past two months. Angela is there to take care of a non-verbal nine year old while his mother gets the place fixed up ignoring the stories of the place. The paranormal film has the usual jump scares but throws in a little different flavor into the stale storyline with the local rednecks storing their drugs in the basement of the place so the cops wouldn’t find their stash. Now I am not gonna say this movie was absolutely awesome but I did enjoy not watching the same paint-by-numbers paranormal film or Amityville film. Again the connection is at the end folks and you will understand if I don’t say it so you can at least enjoy this flick until end comes then hate for mentioning this more unknown film I give 2 stars too.

The Dawn (DVD) – Aka The Amityville Dawn or entry #50 was released in 2019 without anyone knowing and again falls under the category “we can debate whether it’s a part of the series but there is one part at the end that has the connection kind of thing”. This is why I stayed away from reviewing these last couple of entries but wanting to be a completest of this series I thought it was time to allow them in. We begin in 1922 Pennsylvania where a little girl watches her father who was a war vet lose his mind and kill his family one evening. Rose is then sent away to a church a couple states away and becomes a staple there as she is on the verge of taking her final vows as a nun but something keeps stopping her ten years later. Rose’s nightmares are getting worse and most likely the root cause of her not taking her final vows in this super boring movie about a possessed nun that waits almost 90 minutes to show the viewer the connection to the Amityville series as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Pope’s Exorcist (On Demand) – A movie based on a real priest known as Father Amorth (played by Russell Crowe) who has seeked out possible demon possessions for the church and has the latitude to do what is needed to be done to rule out exorcism. This story takes place in summer 1987 Spain where an American family comes to a very old large estate to fix it up and sell before moving back home. But from the beginning strange things are happening there and the construction crew backs out after a tragic accident and the child Henry acting weird. Doesn’t take long for the church to hear about this and Father Amorth is sent immediately as the high church have had problems with this property before? The son becomes possessed but this is not the usual demon or demons Amorth has come across in the past as he must unravel the mystery of the property in order to save the child. If you love possession movies this will be right up your alley with the plot, Crowe’s performance, and knowing when to end the movie as it doesn’t cover any new ground but makes sure it is entertaining for horror fans as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Death to Metal (DVD) – An Indy film where it opens with a couple bad rednecks dumping toxic waste into the local creek which doesn’t come into play for a bit. But a local priest Milton Kilborn is suspended from his parish for being a little on the extreme side and he takes it out on his parish with theft. He follows it up with wrecking into the local creek and mutating into a monster that wants to slaughter sinners in the name of god. Meanwhile the latest Metal Massacre show has its own drama going on back stage until the mutated priest pays the show a visit and begins a bloodbath! There is some gore, great locations; the story is fun, great music but felt like the first half of the film was an awesome set up then the second half felt off or didn’t exactly fit like a little more editing could have been done? But don’t let that discourage you from enjoying this death metal Indy bonanza as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #605

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (On Demand) – It is dumb, it is cheesy, it finally captures what the game is like, and it is that fantasy film we need every few years to just not think but watch and enjoy. The movie gets somewhat nerdy but fun as the basic premise revolves around a harper Edgin and his partner in crime Holga trying to right some wrongs and save the world without knowing are going too! I absolutely enjoyed this flick as it is exactly what I thought it should be as I give 3 ½ stars.

Freeze (DVD) – An old time warship heads into icy waters in the Artic following another ship’s course that got lost. The captain keeps a book with him and doesn’t tell everything or the real reason he is rushing into the artic to his crew as they get ice locked and now have a blood thirsty creature aboard the ship. The crew abandons ship quickly as the creature makes short work of the humans. What is left of the crew crosses the ice and finds a cave that holds a secret or two and their deaths. The creatures were bad ass but felt like the story sort of fell apart once hitting the cave? Thought it would be better as I can only give it 2 stars.

Revenge of Mr. Willie (DVD) – A SOV flick from 1999 that is basically a sex comedy horror film that has no business being as hilarious as it was… A group of young ladies who are roommates like to share stories about their sexual exploits until one finds her boyfriend in multiple relationships after he dies having too much sex. In the aftermath rando women begin to fight, cut off his penis (you have to see the situation to understand), and when police arrive the 3 ½ inch penis goes missing! Apparently Pete’s penis is very popular and called “Mr. Willie” and has come back to life only to be caught in a popcorn tin by the young ladies to be given to police. But two of Pete’s other conquests enter the picture and they have other plans for the undead penis! From there we got flying penis, remote control car penis, penis in a mouse trap, and supernatural penis talk. Again this movie has no business being this hilarious but it’s all about the penis and I am for that as I give it 3 stars.   

Guts on the Chainsaw (Blu-ray) – This Indy flick begin with the narrator explaining how people have disappeared into the backwoods of Pennsylvania since 1960 how a lot of times the cases are never solved. This sets up our introduction to Nova who is disturbed by the nightmares she keeps having of a chainsaw wielding maniac. This is all a part of Nova’s journey of defeating her demons of the past as she travels the woods alone. A lot of Nova just trying to face her fears in order to move on with life. There is lots of dramatic buildup to Nova facing off with the forest weirdos but in the end her turning into Lara Croft wasn’t all what it’s cracked up to be. So with that let’s dive a little more into this feature as I believe there is a movie somewhere in this mess. I was happy to see an independent film try to use music to help tell the story but for me it was the wrong stuff (just my opinion). The film did a good job of keeping a TCM/Wrong Turn feel but the killers were to clean to be cannibals or least what horror fans are use too and that fake computer smoke for the chainsaws was just terrible. Like I said there is a movie somewhere in this mess just not the one I wanted as I can only give the feature 2 stars.

The Park (DVD) – So a post-apocalyptic film that starts off like a horror movie but becomes something entirely different. We get a quick opening of all human adults dying of a mysterious virus and it’s figured out before all adults die if you are not puberty age you survive for now? You have a time limit and its coming quickly. Inez and Billy are two kids right on the edge of puberty that is surviving in the new harsh world by killing whoever is in the way and taking their stuff. Along the way they meet Kuan who has taken over an amusement park and has her own theories on life and has heard the stories of the “Blue Meanies” or mutated teenagers but believe it is bullshit. Again it starts off as a mean-spirited horror flick but turns into a young girl on a journey to find her real purpose in life. Or at least that is how I take this very different post-apocalyptic film that isn’t exactly what you see in the trailers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires (DVD) – A Claymation horror/action/comedy about the world’s best cop who is every action movie star wrapped into one character. He fights ninjas, drug dealers, having partners die horribly, and punching his captain in the nuts constantly. But something evil has come to town and Chuck Steel must stop it and its Trampires or vampire hobos! These vamps are only attracted to drunken people all because Dracula was driven out of his castle because he was a weirdo and forced to live in alley ways drinking constantly. So now in order to kill a trampire it is a stake to the liver not the heart.  But there is a legend about a master coming and they are going to make the all world drunk so it becomes a feeding ground for the Trampires. The only hope is Chuck Steel get over his wife leaving him for a circus clown so he can stop it all before midnight. It is completely ridiculous and awesome as I give this fun flick 3 ½ stars.

Sisu (On Demand) – Its 1944 Finland and this is a bad ass account of a man that had enough of the war and left to mine for gold. After a big discovery he begins a long trek across Finland to cash in his discovery but a platoon of Nazis that he passes have a whole other mindset and begin to track the man after a few of the Nazi soldiers meet a horrible death. From there this platoon tracks down this man even when they are given orders to turn back and should “consider themselves lucky they are still alive” as they have found who this mysterious man is? One man just wants to cash in his discovery and a group of Nazis make the horrible decision of fucking with the wrong man. We have seen movies like this but maybe not in a WWII setting on foreign soil that seems to give this film that much more heart as I give the movie 4 stars.

Death Toilet (DVD) – Set in the 70s… sort of where a Vietnam vet comes home to his brother’s place to face off with a satanic toilet that mostly just laughs at him. Yeah, it is cheesy, yeah it is super terrible, but you know I can’t resist watching it especially knowing there is four sequels with an Amityville sequel just hitting DVD land. If anything if not the theme song “Death Toilet” then the priest that is brought in to perform an exorcism on the toilet and makes me wonder is there where the $500 budget was spent? Anyhow kids, thank me later for pointing this Indy film out to you as I give it 2 stars.

Death Toilet: Number Two (DVD) – Filmmaker Evan Jacobs goes at it again with moving the story forward to 1983 where Brett has survived the death toilet but must fight it again as he travels the world. Pretty much if you watched the first film you have seen the second… As I explained this movie to a certain someone their reaction was “so it is Silent Night Deadly Night 2… for death toilets?” Exactly, as I give this sequel 2 stars.

Evil Altar (DVD-R) – A lost 1988 film starring William Smith an odd satanic dude trying to take over a small town but needs 103 souls to sacrifice in order to accomplish this. Robert Z’Dar plays the small town sheriff who helps Smith get victims or clean up the mess. But hey it is a small town and it doesn’t take long for a few random people getting together and figuring out that neither of these bad ass dudes can be trusted and they must stop this evil. This a cheap but fun horror film for the time that is worth tracking down as I know I never heard of it until recently so if you are an 80s horror fan start looking as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Horrortales.666 Part 3

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This Saturday we are giving our fans what they been screaming for. A free screening of Horrortales.666 Part 3. The fun part you can see from the comfort of your couch and it’s free.

It will be a one time showing at 9 PM Eastern Time 5/20/2023.

It will be avail on YouTube.

Live chat at time of movie.

Vendor spaces for Grossfest have sold out!

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http://www.grossfest.com

So this means we have sold out vendor spaces but now we need to get many butts through the door for $10 each! So vendors, friends, friends of vendors, filmmakers, Indy folk, artists, authors, we need your help spreading the word of August 5th. Plus remember there is hotel rooms available if you are traveling far, partying a little much, or just looking to stay the night with friends so please support the hotel also.

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

See yinz there! Any questions send to grossfest@gmail.com

Gross Movie Reviews #604

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Massacre at Femur Creek (YouTube) – A (2014) 19 minute short film set in June 1984 at Cherry Hill, Ontario and now has a crowd funding campaign going to remake it and make it a feature. Three young men head to the woods for a birthday bash and talk about some funny shit. But unbeknownst to them they have a sleazy masked stalker that interrupts their man gathering and hilarity ensues as I give the Canadian short film 3 stars.

Mutant Vampires from the Planet Neptune (DVD) – The movie starts off well with a spaceship landing near an oversexed couple in their tent who also have just been attacked by an escaped mental patient then attacked by the space vampire. We flash forward to the next day where we are introduced to five friends who are heading out for a weekend of partying and the movie spending a good amount of time building up their characters. Once at the cabin the space vamp begins stalking them. I really liked the premise of the film, how it started, but the film felt a bit stretched out and the filmmaker wasn’t sure what they wanted to do with the script if that makes sense. I could only give it 1 ½ stars as I would like to hear from other people who may have seen it or going to in hopes it was just me.

Land Shark (DVD) – A mutant shark film from China in an attempt to catch lightning in a bottle: “The Meg”, “Deep Blue Sea”, insert popular shark film that uses cancer research as the backdrop for a shark film. Of course the cancer research is promising but the mutant shark is man-made through scientists using other animal genes where the shark jumps on land to chase said scientists through a jungle. Sounds fun but just never captures that ‘it’ factor to separate this from being just another boring shark film as I give it 1 star.

Murderbot (Tubi/Full Moon) – A 45 minute film from Jim Wynorski who worked with Full Moon on this project that stars a bootleg version of Julie Strain as a runaway robot. For whatever dumb reason the film is also known as “Killbots” but anyhow bootleg Julie Strain is supposed to be a military project that just so happens to decide it wants to go off on its own. She enters a small town and begins to kill the townsfolk because that is what she is programmed to do. Enter a group of unlikable young people who within seconds of arriving begin running for their lives. The beauty of the film is that it is only 45 minutes as I give it a ½ star and good luck if you go watch it?

Terror Trips (DVD) – A group of six friends out of Cincinnati, Ohio who are also horror movie fans decide to go into a new business venture where they check out horror movie locations and come with a way for people to stay there for an overnight event or something… Six months pass for the group and they head to Poland aka Indiana farm land I believe to scout another famous movie location. There the group quickly finds out stupid Americans are frowned upon and they kidnap them for organ harvesting. The film thinks big but cannot execute to its full potential besides the movie could of went in a totally different direction than ‘Hostel’ as I give it 1 ½ stars or it isn’t terrible but not good either.

Kill Her Goats (DVD) – The film begins with explaining a family home and the events that are about to unfold after the purchase where a young woman gets the house as a gift and some neighbors are not happy. Most of the film is Audra and her two friends enjoying the new home giving each other a few jump scares and walking around topless most of the time for no reason. Eventually a person in a goat mask comes to stalk the three girls but not really with a little bit of gore? Very hard to explain as this is an example of the trailers is way better than the final product. You could even make the argument that they use the nudity as a crutch as there wasn’t much story to tell but feel you would be wasting your breath on an actual intelligent conversation about this film as I give it maybe a ½ star. Again I really wanted to like this horror movie but after watching it, maybe it was doomed before it ever got started?

Horrorama (DVD-R) – A 1987 SOV flick that got finished in 1989 and found some kind of small release again in 2014 that is hosted by a disgusting undead host named Scarlet Fry who takes you through some tales of terror. The shorts are pretty quick, hilarious, and entertaining as SOV fans may want to seek this one out just for the mere reason to see blood squirt from off screen for a gore scene and it’s nowhere near where the action is taking place. Oh a wonderful look at the old days of no budget magic as I give it 2 ½ stars.

When a Killer Calls: The Babysitter Massacre (DVD) – A bright young woman named Trisha heads to her latest babysitting gig to take care of Molly for the night. Not too long after the parents leave Trisha begins getting odd phone calls on her cell including blaming her boyfriend for the (*67) phone calls? Remember the film is from 2006 but anyway you have seen the film several times before but I will give kudos to Asylum Entertainment with not taking the easy way out with cheeseball moments and trying to make the “killer is calling from in the house” film. Once the boyfriend shows up and brings friends that is when the massacre begins… sort of as I give the movie 2 stars.

The Prey: Legend of Karnoctus (DVD) – A newer B-horror film that tries to give fans a splash of four different films into one: Predator, The Descent, Graveyard Shift, and Dog Soldiers. Stocking the cast with familiar faces that the horror community will recognize as our story takes place in Afghanistan where some old military dudes are planning a heist. Meanwhile a young group of soldiers on patrol nearby get pinned down by an enemy force and head inside a cave that gets closed off by a rocket. Now trapped young stunned soldiers and a couple of old military dudes must get on the same page and start their long trek through the labyrinth in order to survive. But none of them were counting on dealing with a pissed off Afghan Sasquatch as it’s referred to many times in the movie. Not a huge budget, you hired some cool people to be on screen for a scene or two, and you have kind of a cool monster in a cave? Yep, I am in every time just to give it a chance as I liked it enough to give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #603

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The Zombie Army (Blu-ray) – This shiny SOV turd was directed by Betty Stapleford and was considered legendary at my favorite video store “ISV”. We literally had a running bet on who would actually rent this film as it had a label on it “Worst Movie in the Store”, yet no one would rent it except us dumb asses who watched it a couple times in the store over 20 years ago. Well movie nerds apparently ‘Future Video’ thought it was time to bring it to HD! So how to explain the clarity… Okay imagine if you are old… like me, and you are watching a movie on the old black and white TV set with rabbit ears? That was the VHS version. Now imagine if that VHS was dying and played on your new 60 inch thin ROKU TV thingy and you know that was an upgrade. Anyhow besides this wonderful clarity there are some trailers, different music, and footage of a writer/producer talking about their experience in getting the movie made. So the government has bought an insane asylum because you know that is a wonderful idea. After a couple dumb military personnel open a radioactive shelter door looking for drugs this of course allows two psychos to be released and wander the halls again. These psychos are not your ordinary psychos as they want to experiment on the military privates and turn them into their zombies. It was released in 1991 and some fun effects to enjoy as I give this Blu-ray 3 stars.

African Kung Fu Nazis (DVD) – So this falls under “what in the bizarre hell am I watching?” as Hitler survives for no apparent reason with the leader of Japan. Again not exactly explained but these two make a tag team who find themselves in Guyana (I think) who begin to build their German/Japanese army out of the native African folk that live there. Hitler helps train these folk for a world tournament that they are going to put on. Oh did I mention if you are black and touch the new German/Japanese flag you go ‘white face’! So of course once they build a force they bother the local dojo to pay tribute to them and force setting up a revenge story in this racist mix of “Bloodsport”, “Fist of Fury”, and “Mortal Kombat” where you won’t know if you should laugh, cry, or both when it is done as I give this film 3 stars.

Legion of the Night (YouTube) – An independent film from Matt Jaissle that is also known as “Dead City” gives off wonderful “The Dead Next Door” vibes so you know you are in for a treat. Out of Detroit a couple of scientists are forced by some mob boss Francis to come up with zombie assassins. Not exactly expecting the research to pan out as well as it did they were able to give Francis the ultimate crew to do his bidding. Of course the scientists are considered expendable and thought to be completely killed off by some of the underlings? But assistant Russell survives and explains to Taylor who is back in town wondering what happen to his father. The two plot a tale of revenge with the new CZAs (Cybernetic Zombie Assassins) to seek revenge against Francis. All seems to go to plan until Francis has also partake in the forbidden formula and combat just got a lot more interesting. Love the premise of the film, love the look even for 1995, love the vibe, some great effects, the only flaw might be the story gets a little confusing or overcomplicated but if you are an Indy fan you need to have this in your collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Green Hell: A Jay Crimson Film (YouTube/Troma Now) – The film opens with filmmaker Jay Crimson where this content comes from and why? But you get two sketchy looking friends who accidentally find a liquid in a cough syrup bottle dropped by a random individual. Trying to get all kinds of fucked up believe it would be a great idea to drink it? Not much time passes before they begin to trip balls, see zombies, party again, more zombie gut munching, more weird visions, get quickly addicted to it, then kill a friend’s girlfriend. It is a lewd, crude, quick take, rough style kind of filmmaking style that was featured in other independent titles “The Wet Ones” and “Magnum Opus” to name two. I know there is a small niche audience for this project I just don’t think I am it… I more of a “Street Team Massacre” movie weirdo as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

After Presence (DVD) – A found footage flick of a Ghost Hunting dude who disappeared in 2017 while filming with his partner their latest special at a cemetery. Jamie Rice and Pat Donovan are all about getting content for their fans. The two separate for investigation purposes during filming and Pat slowly gets very deep into something that could be considered disturbing. Pat ignores the possible warning signs and weird shit going around him until it is too late. Everyone knows I am not a huge paranormal movie fan but kudos to these guys as they kept it basic, had a complete serious tone throughout, and had a good storyline they stray from as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Alphabet Soup (DVD) – Another project from Broaden Torture Productions as this is more of a mish mash of four short films that feel like experiments, never fully fleshed out projects, or something they tried and will possibly remake in the future when the funds dictate. Creature from the Deep is a cheeseball corny short that I enjoyed the most. A great combo DVD or perfect starter thing for an independent movie fan who may want to check out more from these guys as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

To Love Again (Blu-ray) – Another feature out of the long lost collection of filmmaker Dan Komarek that was shot in 2008 and a far departure from horror, fantasy, and kids believing they are some kind of Ninja Masters. Two unlikely friends in Zack and Sarah who are all about the drugs strangely find love for each other as they try to figure out their lives together. Happiness is short lived when Sarah’s live-in boyfriend/roommate Tony decides this needs to stop and the two accidentally kill Tony. Again a huge departure from what you would use to seeing from this filmmaker but it does have its kinks and corks for such a serious tone film like the weird fake box waterbed (I cannot get my mind around it, sorry) and the barking dog at all times in the background of filming this love story. Dan shows a different side of his talent here and well worth the watch I just don’t think this will resonate with Indy fans as much as his other work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume II (Blu-ray) – This time around it isn’t just some early unfinished projects from Dan Komarek but his brother Mike Komarek and it is clear who is doing what project! But before you sink your eyeballs into nearly three hours of short films Dan supplies you with twenty minutes of trailers and an interview with me Tim Gross talking about Dan Komarek and his career so far. The shorts: The Cleveland Haunting is where a young man is haunted by himself and controlled by another. Crime Story (2008) is about two dudes arguing over money. Then Crime Story (2012) completely unrelated to the other four years before but has the random barking dog returning, incoherent dialogue, machine gun sound effects for a pistol, a crochet clock hanging on a wall instead of a real clock, a hallway of a home that I think is supposed to be an office, and it has no ending… Which I was entertained by this absurdity! Into the Mystic which is more feature length than short film features a random dude in girl jeans stalking individuals in a national park where a fat young version of Dan Komarek eats cigarettes off the ground and still believes he knows kung fu! Nail Biter is a short that will possibly make you puke after the three minutes of shaky-cam and goes into a story of a newspaper reporter going back to an abandoned home to investigate murders and the legend that happened several years before. (This short film was done by Mike Komarek and the biggest example of the filming differences between the brothers.) The Entity is a short film with a Blair Witch feel as a lonely man goes slowly insane. (Nevermind the odd Nazi flag in the background as not sure why it’s there but it has nothing to do with the story?) The Road is a short where something strange happens to two best friends as soft music plays at all times. And Disinformation is a quick found footage thing that felt much unfinished. Another look into the young mind of Dan Komarek that is very entertaining and fun if you enjoy checking out stuff from independent filmmakers before they got the legs under in what they want to do as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Speaking about Grossfest 2023 this August 5th…

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Since we have filled about ¾’s of the ballroom with vendors and guests (get your table soon folks) thought it was time to speak out? Say hey or how yinz doing n’at? What are the Gross Brothers doing?

Answer: The same thing we were doing in 2018… (Besides Tom Gross being a famous actor) Giving a convention or I should word it this way a home for independent vendors, filmmakers, authors, and actors to thrive. Independent movie fans we are in a world of autograph shows these days where its $125 to shake the hand of a John Carpenter and table prices for that convention that make you question you going on as an artist? We are not here to debate these actions but just like five years ago we are trying to give artists an alternative of not breaking the bank or destroying your budgets to do your next project while promoting the most recent one. We ain’t reinventing the wheel, we are just trying to have a fun convention where we all can have fun, network, sell some cool shit, and keep this cool exciting event going year in and year out! I have said it before “This is either the beginning of the end or Grossfest has just got started”. We know there is a few of yinz out there hope we don’t succeed, we know there is some of yinz watching and staying quiet to see how we do going big again (it’s cool, we will be waiting for you next year), there is a couple of yinz waiting for us to go to two day event (don’t worry we are waiting for yinz too) and we know we have our Grossfest die hards. Point is people if yinz want this to be fun and survive we will need your help: Know a vendor that could be interested? Tell them contact grossfest@gmail.com as the spaces are only $50! Know people who want to check this event out? Admission is $10 the day of the show at the door of the ballroom. Spread the word of Grossfest as our goal is not just to make money to sustain the event but for it to get bigger to bring more or different Indy guests in, play more movies, have people get together and come up with awesome crazy independent film, book, or artwork ideas, or most of all just make it the premiere event for all yinz independent folk. Remember you never know when you might be shaking hands with the next John Carpenter or even (because it is Pittsburgh) the next George A. Romero and it didn’t cost you hundreds upon hundreds of dollars. Now for my closing statement: we are not here to compete against other conventions as much as to be what we always were, Grossfest… because remember we are the joke that keeps on going and told we could never do this… so why can’t we just support independent cinema, have fun doing it, and see where it goes?  See yinz August 5th for our one day Grossfest!

www.grossfest.com

August 5th, Saturday 11-7pm

Hotel details:

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

Grossfest 2023 Vendors so far…

Cluck, Cluck Productions

Glyphs & Glam

Dazed and Disorderly

Barry the Movie Demon

Wolf Hollow LLC

MMH Productions

Pgh Scrubs Guy

Minerva’s Trinkets

Nostalgic Nightmare Productions

Face Melt Productions

Broaden Torture Productions

Drunken Yinzers Productions

Video Nasty Productions

13 Occult

Shoggoth Suds

Midnight Magazine

Independent American Pictures

Addison Binek

Lou Ickes