Gross Movie Reviews #486

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Gross Movie Reviews #486

 

Walk like a Panther (On Demand) – If you enjoy wrestling movies then you are in for a treat from the UK folks. Mark Bolton is the son of ‘The Bulldog’ one of the original British wrestlers that ran together called, “Panthers”. They use to be on the tele in the 80s and then were canceled to the dismay of many. Mark never got his shot with the Panthers but now runs a pub called “The Half-Nelson” where all the old wrestlers and fans hang out at. They talk about old times, drink a pint, and wait for Mark’s wrestling trivia night. But things change when Mark’s idol Ginger Frost dies. They all go to the pub for the wake and interrupted by a young village idiot who believes wrestling is fake. So when the old timers get a hold of him and start having a good time at his expense as his friends film it on their phones and it goes viral. Between this hilarious turn of events and the pub being sold from under young Mark’s hands he decides to get “The Panthers” back together again for an one hour event to save the pub. Stephen Graham, Julian Sands, Robbie Gee were an absolute hoot in this flick. Maybe not the perfect film but there was many times I laughed my ass off at the screen as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Dead Don’t Die (On Demand) – The latest zombie film to have Bill Murray and a host of other Hollywood names take on zombies in a small town. Bill Murray and Adam Driver are cops of the town Centerville where their highlight is yelling out in the woods at a hobo that Murray’s character knew since high school. But polar fracking has knocked Earth’s axis funny and it has caused several weird things to happen: Prolonged daylight, animals going completely nutzoid, and Iggy Pop and other dead folk to rise from their grave. With no answers but many questions the film becomes one long Seinfeld joke. For good or bad the zombie make-up was cool but I was expecting a little bit of a different movie as I give it 2 stars.

Slaughterhouse Slumber Party (Blu-ray/Vimeo) – Dustin Mills has quickly become one of my favorite filmmakers as he has made all kinds of different horror films. Always trying something different and this is no different for this unapologetic cheesy film about a group of young women getting together once a year for a party weekend. At times shot like a “Big Brother” or “Real World” TV show you get to know all the women and their flaws who are attending this big weekend party. Of course no boys allowed but a new girlfriend Gretchen, has been brought into the event meeting new people and enjoy the fun of being free, drunk, and hope not to have your face farted on! Anyway Gretchen seems a little strange and not all about the new Rocket Ribcage film. Gretchen is more into bringing forth evil supernatural shit. Never thinking much about Gretchen’s weirdness she is accidentally killed in a pillow fight and thus starting off a bunch of demonic bad shit happening to the women. The friends mostly naked and frighten must gather the strength to take on this horror and escape the wrath of Gretchen! If there was ever a movie to be put on a double bill with “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama” this is it my friends and that is high praise coming from me as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Dustin be proud my friend and that cast was awesome!

 

Spider-man: Far From Home (On Demand) – The Avengers have disappeared again and Tony Stark is dead. They all saved the world but Peter just wants to get back to normal high school life and that means going to Europe with MJ and friends. This being Peter’s big chance to finally ask MJ out but course things go sideways when Mysterio shows up fighting monsters called, “Elementals”. Nick Fury needs Peter to take over for Stark and help fight these fights. Peter still just wanting to be a high school kid decides to let Mysterio do the job until he learns of the real plan. This newer version of Spider-man was again a lot of fun and really enjoyed the end credit stuff but the real shame is going to be Disney and Sony fighting over the property. Which means most likely we won’t even get to see Tom Holland in college as Spider-man. Fun movie I give 3 ½ stars too but most likely we will see two more sequels to everything else before this problem gets resolved so enjoy it folks.

 

Video Murders (DVD-R/VHS) – Jim McCullough Jr. brings us a lower budgeted film about a serial killer David Lee Shepard. The film opens with David bringing a hooker back to a hotel for the intent of filming her strangulation. The detectives have gotten closer to David as he has left a trail of murder scenes in different cities but with the same motive. The rest of the film entails a detective in not one but two long chase scenes with David. There is some filler with David picking up a woman in a bar because she reminds him of his mother and does not kill her but keeps her tied up. The movie teases this will be sleazefest but is more of a dramatic cat and mouse thriller between David and the detective as I give it 2 stars.

The Dark Days of Demetrius (DVD/Vimeo) – Independent filmmaker Dakota Ray is back with his latest film about a serial killer called “The Live Stream Killer”. This man streams his murders and has a following on social media which in turn he allows his so-called fans to comment on photos and videos. Demetrius desire to kill is consuming him and gets off on that his following is growing by the hundred-thousands with each post. Eventually LSK allows the audience to decide the fate of his victims taking his murderous ways to a new height. But a sadistic reporter of a news website takes notice of LSK and begins to blame him for murders he has nothing to do with in order to have more content for his site. Demetrius can stay as a mystery to police but makes himself known to the reporter who is trying to stain The Live Stream Killer’s name. This is for sure one those hard-hitting films that are not for the fate of heart as it isn’t so much sleazy as much as just one of the darkest films you may watch… For that I give Dakota’s feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #464

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Gross Movie Reviews #464

 

Slaughterhouse Rulz (On Demand) – Nick Frost and Simon Pegg produced a very British version of “The Boogens”. The biggest difference we get to see a lot more of the creatures and it’s under a very prestigious private school. Frost and Pegg are just mere set pieces for this feature as apparently there is fracking happening near the school. This fracking just happens to open the underground dwelling of these demon-like creatures to come up top side and begin feasting. Only a small group of kids stay behind for the weekend and they must fight for their lives in order to survive the onslaught of creatures. The school has a whole history of assholes and stories of demons that live beneath the school. I enjoyed the whole pecking order of students and the flesh-eating creatures but also see why this film kind of disappeared after it was heavily advertised around Halloween. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Jersey Shore Massacre (DVD) – A group of young ladies head to the Jersey beach for fun in the sun one weekend. Once there they find out the hard way Ron Jeremy rented the house to another group of young ladies thinking they were all the same. So Teresa tells the girls they can go party at her Uncle Vito’s house that is about 15 miles away in the Jersey woods. Once there the girls head to a Jersey Devil tour and head to the club for fun. Once they get through all the ‘Jersey Shore’ filler and head back to Uncle Vito’s house the girls and guys begin to be hacked and slashed to death! Lots of gore, a couple innovative kills, and the reveal of Uncle Vito make this ‘massacre’ film watchable as I give it 2 stars.

 

Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre (DVD) – A gentleman keeps having nightmares of his recently deceased Nana. Also Nana happens to be a bootleg look-a-like of the “Curtains” killer who is killing people in the name of Satan. Geno doesn’t understand this family secret runs deep and the small community is in on it also as he investigates. The film has a lot of dull moments but bootleg “Curtains” killer keeps me interested enough to see the end as I give it 1 star.

 

Hot Tub Party Massacre (DVD) – Chubby tattooed sorority girls from Delta Omega and an escaped serial killer Fred Banning you got my attention. Fred has just escaped authorities and has a history of slaughtering young coeds. After slaughtering his way through the local college and takes a liking to the ‘final girl’ he makes his way to their party hotel to slash through the sorority with his trusty garden tool. The film follows the formula of making it feel like a lost independent B-slasher from 1990 with just the right amount of nudity, Brinke Stevens voice cameo, and characters you cannot wait to see slaughtered. But the lack of use of the hot tub was kind of a bummer as I was hoping many would die in it but zero did. I thank yinz for the pretty chubby tattoo women and naming Henrique Couto as the school president but this ‘massacre’ flick should be left for the hardcore ‘massacre’ fans as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Strait-Jacket (DVD) – A delightful William Castle film about Joan Crawford being sent to the asylum after killing her younger husband. After seeing him with a young lady in bed she goes in a rage and cuts off their heads. Her daughter witnessed it all but is excited 20 years later her mom is returning home after a new treatment is used and cured her. She is allowed to return to society. Once Lucy returns people begin disappearing and of course all the fingers point to her because of her past. Again a delightful thriller that was well casted that included first timer Lee Majors as I give the flick 3 stars.

The Unseen (DVD) – Filmmaker Geoff Redknap brings a fresh take to cool source material “The Invisible Man”. A man named Bob ran away from his family and good life eight years ago. He now resides in a small northern town working at the lumber mill just trying to keep to himself. His ex-wife calls him looking for help with their daughter Eva. Eva has changed a lot the past several months and went from going to college to wanting to possibly dropping out and traveling the world with her best friend. Bob against his own will decides to drive back to see his daughter and try and help. But Bob and Eva both have a secret. Now with Eva’s disappearance with friends at an asylum Bob is racing against time to find her as he gets sicker. Without trying to give too much away the film is gritty and a wonderful thriller that tells a compelling story of family using the “The Invisible Man” material as a backdrop. A slow burn with a great payoff will make this film a wonderful find for movie fans in 2019 as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #463

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Gross Movie Reviews #463

Blood of the Mummy (Festival screener) – This latest low budget independent flick from the talented filmmaker Christine Parker has her reaching deep into the bag of horror. The film revolves around a beautiful woman named Louise. She has had a hard life ever since she witnessed the death of her parents who were digging up the tomb of Princess Ananka in Egypt. Since then during different times in Louise’s life the Mummy that killed everyone in the tomb when she was a child shows up as a weird ass protector killing those who have wronged Louise. Now in her late 20s Louise is at a mental health home still searching for answers about the Mummy and very upset her doctor does not believe her. For years Louise has thought she was cursed but now during shock therapy she may have found a link to her curse and why? This could have been Ms. Parker’s best film to date. On the slim budget she was able to bring together a great cast, a great story, and add some unexpected gore to the ‘mummy’ genre that doesn’t do much gore. I felt like this movie should be a little grainy because of how clean it looked (it felt old school). Christine and crew didn’t waste shots and really created a story where you cared for both the mummy and the Louise character. Kudos to Ms. Parker for bringing to life a wonderful take on an old school monster as I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars. www.facebook.com/christinepparker

Lock the Door (Vimeo) – A short film that answers the question, “why you should always lock your door, home or not?” A young man leaves for work in the morning unbeknownst to him a stalker lurks by watching. When the young man comes back in the evening to relax this is when the unknown stalker chooses to attack. If only that young man remembered to lock the door he might be still with us? This latest from the talented Philip Brocklehurst who seems to be tirelessly working on projects is homage to “Halloween”. Well done sir as I give the short 3 out of 4 stars and yes I did enjoy the “Howling IV” poster and DVD collection in the background. www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Here is how to enter the Grossfest film contest!

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Grossfest Film Contest

Hey independent filmmakers you have a feature length film or a short film that you are thinking about sending to festivals? Well, we are looking for them for Grossfest 2019! Here are the rules:

 

First, we need a physical copy of the film to qualify.

Second, no fee for entering the film except the shipping charges you will have to pay to get the film to us.

Third, this does not guarantee the film will play at Grossfest. Why? We have a limited amount of time. Come on people it’s a one day event. Tim Gross will be picking the best feature and best short film and they will receive the Grossfest movie award. Also all films will be reviewed and show up on www.grossmoviereviews.com . Like the film or not Tim will still review it.

Fourth, all entries need to be in or postmarked by June 30, 2019. This is so proper time can be given to review the movie and decide the winners. The winners of best feature and best short film will be shown at some point between 11am – 10pm of July 20, 2019 during Grossfest. Hopefully we will have a schedule of the films playing a few weeks before Grossfest?

Any questions can be sent to grossfest@gmail.com . Or contact Tim Gross on Facebook www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews for where to send it.

Surprise Grossfest announcement!

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Surprise, surprise guess who is coming to Grossfest! He could not make it last year because of unforeseen circumstances. These things happen with conventions ‘subject to change’ but we had to make room for this cool independent person.  He is a known figure among Indy gorehounds so let’s just get to it; I introduce you to writer/director Brian Paulin! Mr. Paulin might be best known for such independent hit films “Bone Sickness”, “Fetus”, “Mummy Raider”, and “Blood Pigs” but I remember this good man when I first seen the 2000’s “At Dawn They Sleep”.  Brian’s films punch you in the face with some amazing and possibly disturbing to some folks gore effects… Brian is the founder of Morbid Vision Films and we are proud to have him at our show. For more info on Brian check out: www.morbidvisionfilms.com .

 

P.S. WE MIGHT BE SOLD OUT OF VENDOR SPACES… STAY TUNED!

WWW.GROSSFEST.COM

If you liked Jagoff Massacre? Guess what we are working on now…

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Well everyone, I promised big news coming soon from the Jagoffs at Drunken Yinzers productions, and here it is! While we would love to tell you that a sequel to Jagoff Massacre is coming, we simply can’t do it without Brandon. As soon as he is available we will get our asses on that (the script is already written so…). In the meantime we felt it was time to move onto a new project. And goddamn is it a great one!
A few years back, during the first round of problems with jagoff 2, I had the brilliant idea to write a comedic remake of the classic terrible drug scare film, Blood Freak. After the dissolution of JOM2 and the near death of our production company, we finally decided to take this script and give it a shot. We’re now 2 shoots in and it’s honestly some of the most hilarious shit we’ve ever done.

So next year we will bring you a new film from the Drunken Yinzers! We’ll be setting up a new Facebook page soon and hope you’ll all join us in this new endeavor. And yes, while this is a new film, it does take place in the Jagoff-verse so look out for easter eggs galore. And of course Chuck Connors will be back as well as a slew of JOM favorites. I can’t possibly express how much i truly appreciate all of you Jags that have stood by and waited patiently for us to get our shit together. We love you all more than a case a cold Irons and a primanti’s sammich!

…and if you wanna check out the movie we’re paying tribute to, you can watch it in it’s entirety here….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np3bqodkka0

 

Post written by “Out of Print” Daniel Boyd last month

Grossfest is looking for Vendors!

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With the holidays over and the new year underway, why not get involved with a great up and coming independent horror convention, GROSSFEST! Saturday, July 20th, 2019

With our first year being a big success and vendor spaces selling out quickly, we have changed to a new location and are able to add more vendors! Located at
Doubletree hotel
340 racetrack road
Washington pa 15301

If interested please email us grossfest@gmail.com
Tables are only $50!

www.grossfest.com

#grossfest

 

Don’t forget if you are a filmmaker contact me about getting your film to our Grossfest contest?

See yinz at Grossfest!

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Scotchworthy Productions has a deal for you!

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Scotchworthy.com 

https://www.scotchworthy.com/store-1/

Stop by the Scotchworthy.com store now for special discounts and free shipping!

Just in time to stuff some stockings with bloody good cheer, Scotchworthy is offering free shipping (domestic US only) on all merchandise in the Scotchworthy store AS WELL AS a newsletter only holiday discount!  Simply enter the discount code CHEER during checkout for an additional $3 off anything in the store!
SHOP NOW!!!

Happy Holidays and thank you again for all of the support.

Hello and thank you for supporting indie filmmaking and Scotchworthy Productions!  It’s been a very busy year for us and we’re excited to update everyone with all the great news!

Early in the year, Ben Lewandowski and the rest of the post production team finalized Skeletons in the Closet.  From there we prepped the movie for its world premiere at the Davis Theater on September 7th.  The event was an absolute blast!  From there we released the movie via Amazon, iTunes, and it became a featured release on PopcornFlix and FrightPix.
Skeletons in the Closet is also available NOW on blu-ray, which you can order from the Scotchworthy store, and we’re even providing a discount just in time for the holidays!  See the sidebar to the left for info.
A couple weeks ago, coproducers Ben Lewandowski and Tony Wash met with Skeletons in the Closet distributors Questar Entertainment and renowned horror director John McNaughton (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Wild Things) and his producer Steven A. Jones to discuss a partnership to bring Skeletons in the Closet the TV show to fruition!  Keep your fingers crossed as we plan the first season and gear up for the pilot episode.

The summer kicked off nicely with the release of Tony Wash’s third feature, The Rake.  Produced in 2015 and starring Rachel Melvin (Dumb and Dumber To) and Shenae Grimes-Beech (90210, Degrassi, Scream 4), The Rake has been considered “… a dark and twisted tale that had me guessing for the better part of an hour before it descended into total madness. I was a bit disappointed when it reached an abrupt ending, but it was worth taking the ride up to that point.” – Cody Hamman – Life Between Frames
The Rake is a psychological thriller sandwiched in a creature film ripe with brooding tension and eerie atmosphere, with stunning production design by Sarah Sharp, eye-catching cinematography by Robert Patrick Stern, and the terrifying practical special FX from Jason Kain that Scotchworthy’s reputation was founded on.
Rent/buy The Rake from every online outlet or cable provider or purchase a copy from scotchworthy.com NOW!