Gross Movie Reviews #516

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Gross Movie Reviews #516

 

Island of Terror (DVD) – This mid-60s film has Peter Cushing as a doctor who takes an expedition crew to a remote island where a boneless body was found. Once there he and his crew must take on these blob-like creatures that suck bone out of humans and multiplying quickly. Cushing and crew must act quickly in finding a way to kill these odd creatures or they will take over the island. It seems very B-movieish for Peter Cushing if that is a thing? As I give the creature flick 2 stars.

 

Terminal Invasion (DVD) – The 2002 SyFy Channel or Sci-fi channel film that seems all to be lost (DVD has been out of print for years and I believe it played twice on SyFy then nothing since???) It stars Bruce Campbell as a death row prisoner named Jack who is being transported for some unknown reason by two officers through a snowstorm. The transport gets into an accident and forced to walk to the nearest shelter which happens to be a small charter plane service that is piloted by the smoking hot and talented actress Chase Masterson. Problem Jack and the officers encounter an alien in the restroom and when the alien dies it disappears and all is left is Jack and two dead officers. This of course spells disaster for our hero Jack but all that are waiting for the snow to let up because who is human and whose not? Yeah I know sounds a little like John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ but Sean Cunningham gets the best out of Campbell and Masterson in this little known but exciting feature about aliens in a small airport as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Space Ninjas (DVD) – Do not adjust your television as Dirk Benedict aka Jack Strange guides you through a low budget story of five students in detention. They become trapped by “Space Ninjas” as these interdimension beings appear inside the school and begin to slice all who make noise as they are blind. Stanlei the skater girl is the leader of the detention misfits and must try to keep her new friends together to survive the night of slicing and dicing. And if Stanlei is lucky they will solve the problem of killing the Space Ninjas. Think low budget, international, ‘Breakfast Club’… with cosplaying ninjas. A lot to swallow there folks but this international flick is truly entertaining and a bright spot in sometimes a bloated genre of wannabes as I give it 3 stars. Thank you to James Peter Cox for pointing out this 2019 gem exists.

Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary (DVD) – A small group of so-called internet influencers who just happen to be supernatural hunters are looking for credibility. So after a recent death of a student at a high school they take on the case and begin to investigate the supposedly “Bloody Mary” haunting in the school bathroom. The group believes they can solve the issue quickly but the spirit is vengeful and brutally slaughters one of the supernatural friends sending them and the investigation into chaos as they must really face the supernatural for real. Super bloody at times, there is a killer turd, cannibalism, a condom joke all point to the Brazilian film being influenced to Peter Jackson’s early work as they try for laughs throughout. Glad this flick was uncovered and passed on to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vampires vs. The Bronx (Netflix) – A teenager known as “Little Mayor” is having a block party for Tony’s Bodega or a place he has grown up and the rent has been raised to force the Bodega to close. See the Bronx is changing and not for the good according to most of the community but some are taking the money from the real estate company “Murnau” to buy up all the property. Only thing no one sees them leave the Bronx just more Murnau property signs. One night the Little Mayor happens to see a vamp biting into a gang banger and spends most of his time trying to convince his two best friends that vampires are here in the Bronx feeding on the residents for their property. Once Miguel gets them on board it is up to the three to fight the vamps or be arrested and in trouble with their parents. It felt like a good mix of ‘Attack the Block’ and ‘The Lost Boys’ with enough comedy to keep the story light but moving along quick. I can easily see this as a family Halloween horror flick that people check in on every year around this time as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Voodoo Woman (DVD) – The 1957 B-flick has an expedition trekking through the Amazon looking for gold and just so happen to stumble upon a lost tribe that protects gold as part of  their religion. But a doctor has already beaten them to the punch of being there and uses the tribe for his experiments into voodoo. Marilyn who leads the expedition is willing to kill even it’s her own party to have the gold but the doctor has other plans for her. The black and white film isn’t too exciting but is interesting to watch as it was rare to see films with such a strong female lead. Marilyn character not only can hold her own but becomes the monster the tribe feared to begin with as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Ghoul (DVD) – Boris Karloff in a non-Universal film is a dying professor/Egyptologist who has dedicated his life to his study of it and has arranged a certain way to be buried once dead. What is important is this jewel he has be buried in the tomb with him so he can hand it to the spirit of Anubis. But in death and burial his servant screws him over and steals the jewel setting in motion not only Karloff coming back to life and escaping the tomb looking for the jewel… But also several people there for the strange funeral are pointing the finger at each other of who has stolen the jewel. Karloff’s character will not rest until he is able to hand it off to Anubis! Not the best of Karloff’s work, but like any horror movie that has Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, or a Bruce Campbell I will watch it at least once as I give it 2 stars.

 

Scare Me (DVD) – So this week I learned there is two movies of the same name made in the same year. One is a Shudder exclusive the other is this feature I watched, a low budget Indy film from out west. Some young campers head out to a campsite to enjoy hanging with friends and tell ghost stories. They meet a nice forest ranger who helps them with tents and such. But as the night progresses the forest ranger becomes disgusted with the lack of good ghost stories as he awaits his turn to tell his story. There really weren’t any ghosts… There were stories of vampires, zombies, a killer babysitter, and S+M until of course forest ranger murders them all. The film isn’t bad but far from being any good as the characters seemed awkward at times and the flow of the anthology or playing with the rules of an anthology just seem to be something that has been covered one too many times. Again the film is not terrible but very forgettable as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Black Sleep (DVD) – All-star cast in this mid-50s horror film led by Basil Rathbone as a doctor that is looking into other means of furthering brain surgery. His methods are considered illegal but he claims he has made breakthroughs as he helps a fellow doctor out of prison before he hangs for a crime he did not commit. The good doctor has practice patients that he performs brain surgery on in hopes of discovering the cure for his wife’s brain tumor thanks to his gypsy friend. But the gypsy friend soon is being investigated by Scotland Yard as people are disappearing from London. A fun quick B-movie with an all-star cast that needs to be seen as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #515

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Gross Movie Reviews #515

Psycho Ape! (DVD) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer 2020 has sucked a huge bag of dicks! But folks I believe we have been given the film we need to make it through this slow ass death they call a pandemic. It is a low budget film from the great minds of Addison Binek, Steve Albers, and Greg DeLiso whose passion for independent projects is off the scale! If you have heard me speak the name of Addison Binek then you know I feel this is one talented dude. For example: when I take over SyFy Channel or Full Moon he would my “second-in-charge” or if there was someone that I would trust with Lloyd’s legacy it would be Mr. Binek. Some will feel this film is senseless but some like me will enjoy this hilarious Troma throwback laughing their balls off several times throughout the feature. Let me tell you a little about this ‘Psycho Ape’ film. Supposedly 25 years ago this dude in a cheap ape costume (cough, cough) I mean murderous ape escapes The Detroit Zoo and comes upon an unsuspecting teenage slumber party. The killer ape goes bananas on the young ladies leaving only one survivor Nancy Banana. I personally was hoping it would be Hannah Banana for some reason because some kind of weird PornHub dream I had last night after watching the film but that is for a different conversation. Nancy Banana is thrown off course from her life dream of being the next Jane Goodall because this gorilla’s murder spree of her friends but 25 years later she gets to be friends with this crazed hairy killer. But if Dr. ZOOmis has anything to say about he will he won’t let another 25 years of tracking down this deadly ape and several deaths later from breaking up the relationship between Nancy and Psycho Ape. The movie is hilarious, complete chaos, and like a lost film never released from Troma in the mid-80s and for that I am happy to report this treat of a film deserves 3 ½ out of 4 stars. And take my word on this I can see this following the same path as the ‘Leprechaun’ series or maybe not?

 

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (DVD) – Many people also know it as ‘The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came from her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and cop only believes “the damn hippie”, George is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill insects on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Youngblood (DVD) – A late 70s film that feels like a Blaxploitation at the beginning turns into a serious gang film halfway with a twist that will have everyone feeling bad when it’s over. A look into a 15 year old black teenager named Junior but nicknamed Youngblood who feels in order to fit he needs to join a gang. Mom doesn’t approve and Youngblood cannot live up to older brother’s success of becoming a respectable banker. But things take a dark twist when Youngblood’s gang fined one of their own dying from drugs in a bowling alley bathroom. Now Youngblood and the gang want revenge and it takes Youngblood down a path of sadness he wasn’t expecting as everything is as good as it seems. Give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Delirium (DVD) – So maybe it has been a few minutes since you were disgusted by a movie, a relative, or something on the news like politics? Well I give you this lesser known creepy Eye-talian film where an artist’s old butler starts bumping uglies with his dead wife and doesn’t fire him let alone stab him in the freaking testicles. Nope we get this sleazy ass artist and his disgusting butler to dig up his dead wife a year later for inspiration. When that doesn’t work the way the artist wants he goes meet a doppelganger of his wife that only makes the movie weirder if that was even possible? I give this off the charts sleaze 2 ½ stars just for making me wondering what the hell was gonna happen next…

The Night of the Hunter (DVD) – Robert Mitchum proves in 1955 you can play one evil son of a bitch that comes off crazy but yet so brilliant and unmatched. Mitchum is Harry Powell, supposedly a preacher who is doing 30 days in jail with a man named Ben who just got life for robbery and shooting a couple innocent folks. Ben hid the $10,000 with his two young kids. Harry tries to get it out of him before his execution but fails. Backup plan Powell heads to Ben’s home once released and sleaze his ass in the door with the struggling single mom of two to learn of the whereabouts of the money. When the kids are not cooperating Powell gets mean and sadistic and his mean streak has no end. Powell chases the children down river into another home only be blocked by a stubborn older woman who takes orphans in. For 1955 it might not sound like much but I dare you to watch Robert Mitchum put on a performance of an evil human scumbag and not be impressed as I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Night of the Hunter (DVD/remake) – In 1991 TV decided the movie needed updated not understanding two things: first, this story just doesn’t work in present day (1991) as the original was set during the depression. Second, Richard Chamberlain is a great choice for a movie like this but the role was already done perfectly by Robert Mitchum which made me get real bored when viewing this remake. I gave it a legit try but sorry if you see the original first there really isn’t anyway to improve as I give this remake 1 star.

 

Artic Predator (DVD) – Apparently I missed a SyFy Channel feature about a decade ago that stars Dean Cain in a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg version of John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’. Dean Cain must defend himself and others against an alien made of gas from one of Jupiter’s rings that his team unearthed exploring for lost ships in the Artic. Dumb…? Maybe, but you know I wasn’t passing it up with a title like that as I give it 1 star.

 

Night Monster (DVD) – An early 40s Universal film about a handicapped man who has invited doctors to his creepy ass mansion that oh yeah has Bela Lugosi as the butler! Little the doctors know is that the man blames them for his condition and has planned for their arrival as death is happening inside the mansion and outside and nowhere to escape. Cheesy and a little dull at times but explanation at the end of the film makes it a well worth watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (DVD) – A mockumentary of sorts as its set up is producers, convention promoters, etc. being interviewed about this lost film from 1979 that is rumored to kill anyone that has viewed it. The film was sent to several festivals but after all the unfortunate events ‘Antrum’ becomes banned, lost, cursed, but disappeared until now. After this introduction we get the film about a kid who cannot deal with the death of his dog and his mom told him the pet went to hell. So to help get over it his older sister takes the kid to the middle of the forest to dig a hole to hell. Well guess what shit goes wrong and gets weird! Because once you begin your journey into the five layers of hell there is no coming back. I enjoyed the concept and know I will catch flack for this but felt disappointed in the end. The film is far from terrible but for me at least I just don’t think it was executed well as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !