Gross Movie Reviews #421

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Gross Movie Reviews #421

 

Amityville: The Awakening (On Demand) – Jennifer Jason Leigh (Joan) has just moved her family to the legendary house that is famous for the murders that took place 40 years ago. Her kids do not know this at all but soon learn about it through school. Belle the oldest daughter begins to sense strange things in the home and begins to do more research. Joan on the other hand hopes that something happens so her comatose son comes back to life as this was her real reason for moving the family to this legendary house. Soon the twin brother has come back to the land of the living but lets his twin sister know that he is not alone and wants to die. This movie is not horrible and you get real weird vibe from watching it as it incorporates the real life murders and acknowledges that there have been movies made about the house. The original actually possesses Belle to start digging in the basement for “the red room”? The film is an interesting take for the series as there are numerous crappy sequels and a remake. Seriously this movie is worth taking a look at as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Thor: Ragnarok (Theater) – The third film in the Marvel series of the title character has him fighting for Asgard’s existence as his sister has come back home and father has died. In Odin’s death he has brought Loki and Thor closer together… maybe. But once the sister arrives and has disposed of the brothers she plans on conquering more realms. The planet Thor and Loki fall upon just happen to have The Hulk and a legendary warrior The Valkyrie. Once together they plan to go back to Asgard and save the people before they are destroyed. The film is of course a giant fun bag of popcorn and we all know it is a placeholder for the upcoming Avengers films. But what made the film good are two things: a) has this 80s retro feel and b) you don’t have to see the first two “Thor” films to know what exactly is going on. I give it 3 stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death-Scort Service 2: The Naked Dead (DVD/Vimeo) – An escort named Michelle survived torture from a crazed killer a year ago and is trying to move on by being the best escort she can be. But the nightmare is not over as a new crazed killer kidnaps her and ends Michelle’s life with an electric saw to the vagina! Yes folks a saw to the babymaker, if you are going to watch a Sean Donohue flick you better come prepared especially in this film’s case… Independent sleaze, gore, and goo is Donohue’s calling card and there tons of it. A group of young escorts don’t care for the warnings or stories as they know if they don’t get naked they ain’t gonna make the money. But this new mysterious killer stays one step ahead of the new crop of working girls by killing them off in a more brutal way than the last. If you like your horror films sleazing, full of buck nakedness, and lots gooey gore this will be the feature for you gorehounds as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. If curious of where to find this fine flick go on over to: www.thesleazebox.com or www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

The Babyface Killer (YouTube) – A story of a man’s anger taking over after his woman loses their child before birth. They have been trying and finally it happens but bad luck comes along. The man slowly lets his anger build and gets upset over the littlest things until one day he sees a lovely pregnant woman out by the road. Then that is when he crosses the line, loses his mind, and goes dark… Great stuff again from Forte Films as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars and you can find out more at www.fortefilmsentertainment.com .

 

Rage and Honor II: Hostile Takeover (DVD) – The 1993 film brings action star and legend Cynthia Rothrock back together again with Richard Norton. This time out Cynthia’s character is undercover as a banker trying to stop a crooked banker but it becomes much more when he is linked to a drug lord. If you are a Rothrock fan this flick will disappoint as it seems like they just wanted the name and not the person as most of the action in the movie centers around Norton’s character. Pretty much got wait through the whole lame ass movie for Rothrock to fight someone as I give the boring movie 1 star.

 

Better Watch Out (On Demand) – Ashley is a young woman about to move away and is going to babysit Luke one more time before she goes. Luke is a much younger teenager who has googly eyes for the beautiful Ashley. When Luke goes to finally make his move on the babysitter somebody has other ideas? A brick gets thrown through the window, a person peeking through the window, someone trying to scare the two. But it just so happens to be Luke’s best friend trying to help the ultimate plan of Luke’s of getting the girl. Nope Ashley is pissed at both Luke and Garrett. Luke snaps and ties up Ashley and wants to play a game of “Truth or Dare” and the things get even further out of hand when the ex-boyfriend shows up. Luke has the mentality “if he cannot have Ashley, no one can” and has the plan in place to pull it off… maybe? A very different and entertaining holiday flick that isn’t so much horror as a thriller but well worth watching over a plate of Christmas cookies. And for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Arsenal (DVD) – An older brother always watched out for his little brother since they were young. Now it’s time for the little brother to take care of his older brother. As the older brother has been kidnapped by a low grade town mobster who had a plan to get money out of the younger brother. Nic Cage who plays the disgusting idoit with the plan wasn’t expecting the older down on his luck brother to say no. The younger brother has four days to come up with $350,000 and is getting help from an officer of the law played by John Cusack. When it comes down to it the film is an above average direct-to-video action flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (DVD) – An animated feature that helps feature the famous game characters in a struggle for world peace and stop a lost princess from being killed before marriage. To be honest haven’t played any of the Final Fantasy games probably since they started on Nintendo?! But the concept and the films always fascinated me and never a bad idea to check this animated features out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Assassin’s Creed (DVD) – Another video game adaption to movies that does not live up to most fans’ expectations. There is a program for certain prison inmates who are sent to death. If their DNA is linked to some kind of ancestry of this clan of warriors this certain government project wants you to find this “egg”. This “egg” has a certain power if in the right hands that can rule the world. The inmate put to death but wakes up hours later in a secured facility where the public believes they are dead. Then some scientists mess with the brain trying to bring out the ancestor they are looking for? It’s weird but also too I was never a fan of the game so who knows as I give this time filler 1 ½ stars.

Killer Campout (DVD) – Its 1966 and this ugly dude is torturing a couple out in a remote area. After killing the man he gets all rapey with the woman and of course nine months later another ugly thing is born. The film moves along to 1989 where people have been disappearing out in the woods but could never be explained. Authorities are baffled but not concerned as much as some others are with the problem. So some horny ass lady thinks it would be cool to do group therapy out in the woods unknowingly ringing the dinner bell for the old ugly dude still stalking out in the woods! Has that “Madman, Don’t Go in the Woods, and The Forest” kind of feel to it. Lots of fun gruesome deaths and a small twist make this throwback slasher fantastically entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Mark of the Scorpion (DVD) – Andy J. Forrest is Bootleg Indiana Jones in 1936 treasure hunting. But Bootleg Indiana cannot even get started before he is thrown in jail because some reknob wants the known treasure hunter working for him out in the Sahara desert. The reknob French dude believes he needs Bootleg Indy for the possible Cleopatra crap he may have found? The film is no “Treasures of the Four Crowns” but the plot of Bootleg Indy spending most of the movie in prison is actually really fascinating. I give this foreign mid-80s flick 2 stars.

 

Missionary Man (DVD) – A bible carrying stranger rolls into town to mourn a friend who was murdered. Oh, it’s Dolph Lundgren and he wants justice and Tekla. A man named Reno runs the small Native American town and seems to be the root of the problem with the possible murder and controlling the local authorities. Dolph of course kicks ass in this updated “Pale Rider” action flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Peacekeeper (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is Major Cross and now has become the keeper of the nuclear codes. After a terrorist attack on Cross, stealing the briefcase, and Cross presumed dead, the terrorists run to a missile solo that is being shut down. Wait a minute, Cross doesn’t die that easy as he will drive a car across building roofs and become one of the terrorists in order to get the codes back. A wonderfully entertaining mid-90s action film worth tracking down as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Cost of the Living (YouTube) – William Long has made a no budget flick about an apocalyptic love story. A man and a woman head off into the woods after the “Sickness” was destroying humanity. As long as they have each other the couple is happy and live forever. But with no budget movies sometimes editing is your best friend. If the movie is maybe made into short film format around 12 or 15 minutes it most likely works better. The 53 minute running time with not a whole lot happening gives it that dull feeling that makes you want to check out from watching the film. Mr. Long remember sir editing the film down is your what’s best as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

 

Trespassers (DVD) – This fantastic short film is from Zane Hershberger (for the love of Rutger Hauer you know I am fucking that name up) and is a segment of a horror anthology called “10/31”. A couple is out at the local movie theater trying to enjoy a good scary movie but have picked a dud. So still looking for something to put a little fear in their lives on the best night of the year, Halloween they go for a drive out to a farm. This farm isn’t any farm it has a horrible history of a scarecrow popping mysteriously on the land and eventually Old Man Martin murdered his family and committed suicide. But what is about this creepy scarecrow that makes the local story so interesting this couple wants to know? Pretty creepy and well thought out Halloween short film reminds me of a cool little known horror flick from the late-80s called “Scarecrows” and for that I give 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

      

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Gross Movie Reviews #420

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Gross Movie Reviews #420

 

Bonehill Road (Vimeo) – Todd Mother F’N Sheets reaches into the depths of his mind and pulls out this latest project of an old school werewolf film. The film centers on a mother and daughter who are escaping an abusive relationship. On the road to grandpa’s house they meet a creepy dude at a rest stop (which I believe happens to all of us at least once) and believe they just narrowly missed hitting a bear? Shortly after the narrow miss a tire blows out and they hit a tree. The women take a few to get their senses and try to figure out what they should do but that so-called bear comes back to haunt them or I should say werewolf. On the run the ladies find a house but their luck is worse than they think when creepy dude from rest stop is the owner and has his own serial killer thing going on. These women have already been battle tested and know what is outside is worse than inside. Once the madman is dispatched in a rather gruesome manner its back to figuring out how to fight off these werewolves who are trying to break their way into the home. I absolutely enjoyed this werewolf flick. I would compare to Todd’s film to another werewolf flick “Wolfen” or “Bad Moon”. Mr. Sheets went for a more story driven werewolf flick and when it pays off it more than pays off with a scene in the kitchen. While a woman recently bitten transforms another not one but two werewolves shot in 100% light wander into the kitchen and it is a beautiful thing. Most independent werewolf films have to hide their monster. Hell most mainstream flicks do the same but Todd Sheets made sure you got the money shot and more with this scene. Todd absolutely delivered on a giving horror fans an entertaining treat of a werewolf film. And yes horror fans the film is a little slow but again the film is more story driven than gore driven but you will get your blood, guts, and cannibalism! A couple other cool tidbits to the film are the end credits scene with fake Gene Simmons again and they have a “stunt werewolf” thanks to Mr. Steele. Todd Mother F’N Sheets did again and I think fans will be pleased with his old school werewolf flick as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Fistful of Undead (Vimeo) – A short film from Todd Mother F’N Sheets that is about a cowboy fighting the undead. No dialogue, zombies, a bad ass cowboy… sometimes it is just that simple as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Knock Knock (On Demand) – No folks this isn’t that terrible Keanu Reeves movie we all lured into watching last year. This film is something much better! 2012 “Dorm of the Dead’s” Toby Canto makes his return back to the independent horror genre with this great gem. A story of misfits living in an apartment complex. An old boxer named “Stonefist” Sam is turning 60 today. Not the most pleasant person returns home to his weirdo neighbor Oliva hanging out in his apartment complaining about a vampire living across the hall. She can’t make her mind up if its Dracula or just a hot vampire living next door as she has been watching him worried he will kill her. As Sam tries to calm her down another weirdo neighbor Dragon busts in with his bag of goodies to kill the vampire and blurts out this great quote “Fucking Draculas Bro”! He also has stories of Dracula living next door including ripping his “Missing in Action” poster off of his front door. Once Gretchen stops by the scene is set as Oliva stole a package that was left for the vampire. As the four argue the vamp knocks on Sam’s door to nicely get the package but that goes horribly wrong when he was already invited to an apartment complex party. Sam doesn’t believe the neighbor is a vamp until the vamp tries to bring hell down on the four and Sam shows why he was nicknamed “Stonefist”. After they beaten the vamp down and tie him up they warn him to just be a good neighbor or leave? The credits role and we all find out the vamp has friends as a war takes place in the apartment. Smart production, hilarious script and characters, and the actors were down right fucking awesome and perfect for these parts! This flick had me laughing my balls off the whole time watching it. Toby I hope all of us horror fans get to see more projects from you as this is one of the best independent horror projects I have seen in 2017. I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out Pop Art Pictures Facebook page for more details on the film.

 

Brides of Dracula (DVD) – Peter Cushing as Van Helsing returns to Transylvania to kick some vampire ass. A vamp is turning the village’s beautiful women into his brides and Van Helsing refuses to allow this crap to go down. A great buildup ending in this movie as the vampire believes he has killed Van Helsing by biting him but Van Helsing cures himself in a cool legendary manner. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Never Knock (SyFy Channel/DVD) – To set the scene it is Halloween 1986 and some kids go up to 59 Oakwood Lane to knock on the door of a supposedly haunted house. A kid’s hand begins to bleed on the door of the home and a dark force opens the door and kills the kids. But also when police officers arrive on scene they find “Never Never Knock” carved into the one body. So over the next thirty years kids in the small neighborhood go up and knock on the door every Halloween to scare each other. Meanwhile the murders go unsolved and become a thing of legend. Present day Jenna and friends go to the house and little sister Jenna knocks on the door, creature appears, and Jenna disappears. The friends look for Jenna as this sinister creature connected to this door of the home makes the friends see things that are not there until it kills them. Wasn’t overly impressed with the flick and left me asking why didn’t the city or neighborhood destroy this house to rid the town of the memories? Or who was taking care of this place for thirty years? I believe these questions would have made this a much shorter and more watchable movie for all of us as I give it 1 star.

 

Stickman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A girl’s night terror or nightmare comes to life and kills and eventually sends her to an asylum for troubled kids. She spends several years there trying to get over this issue as her sister and mother were plagued by this issue after her sister read a poem about the “Stickman”. She is now about to turn 18 and has made it to a halfway house but her night terror has come back and is out in real world killing everyone. She must break into the asylum to find answers. The concept of the film is interesting but feels like it wasn’t completely executed properly? This flick was a little more bearable than some of the other recent SyFy Channel Halloween flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Jeeper Creepers 3 (On Demand) – Holy fart knocker did yinz screw this shit up! Okay folks never mind the creeper behind the camera directing the film let’s just talk this horrible film. This sequel is everything you didn’t want to be. Now, I was never a huge fan of this series but found the demonic creature “The Creeper” interesting. Apparently this takes place in between films one and two and people are out in force hunting this creature before he goes back to sleep. Wait… wait… wait… What? Where in the fuck is Ray Wise’s character fuckheads! Anyway, now the Creeper is able to hunt during the day, killing at will. The creeper also kidnaps a young teenager and his truck is impervious to everything and oh yeah it now has “Boobie traps”! The movie seems incoherent at times like Tim Gross and Daniel Boyd were drunk and wandered on set and started filming. But seriously folks I love character actors such as Stan Shaw, Meg Foster, and Gina Philips, but guys yinz should have sat this project out. I believe the biggest issue for me but all horror fans especially fans of this series is there was so much you could have done with this character? This character oozes a franchise and several years later we get this crap. Let’s call this what it is “CRAP”. I see crap and I give it crap so if you haven’t seen it yet? Don’t and thank me later.

 

Wake Up (YouTube) – A pretty different and maybe artsy short film that deals with a man who keeps writing “Awake or Alive”. The man is going insane or already there and not totally sure what is real? Cool stuff from Running Director Productions can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

StatACHE (YouTube) – A quite bizarre short film where a strange man with a bag on his head has a relationship with his television. A short film that mess with your mind thinking about it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions .

 

The Last Room (YouTube) – A short film more up my alley as the apocalypse has happened and a man is trying to tell the story before he goes completely bonkers! First, people’s minds went, and then people were offering themselves to the flames or mass suicide I am guessing. Then all the utilities went! Now, Kameron haunted by his own visions after cannibalism wants there to be a record of what happened to humanity. Dark, deep thinking, rough… would like to see this fleshed out more as I give 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Filmmaker Toby Canto is back from hiatus with this awesome flick!

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Toby Canto’s latest flick since the fun zombie film “Dorm of the Dead” is back with this excellent mix of comedy and horror in “Knock Knock”. (review coming soon…)

TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFZMq0lscxg

SOUNDTRACK: https://stevencanham.bandcamp.com/album/knock-knock

MOVIE to go rent:  https://vimeo.com/ondemand/knockknock2017

 

Next guest for Grossfest is…

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For our seventh guest announcement for Grossfest is a filmmaker, actor, producer who I have known since he was a teenager. This person is more of your “outside of the box non-traditional” independent filmmaker. His movies have their own rules, he doesn’t stick to one genre, and I have absolutely loved it every step of the way. Most filmmakers having lower or no budgets for their projects would hold them back? This filmmaker thrives on it by using imagination, talented friends and actors, and brilliant writing. “Wolfster, Part 1: The Curse of the Emo Vamp, Basic Slaughter, The Slasher Hunter, Everyone Must Die!, Super Task Force One, Captain Z & the Terror of Leviathan, Red Christmas, The Survivors, CarousHELL” are some of his films he has made over the past decade. With great respect, absolute delight, and there is no way I could not have ask this person to be a part of Grossfest: I introduce you to the charming and handsome Steve Rudzinski! Steve’s recent “CarousHELL” film like “The Barn” is one of my favorite independent films that I have had the pleasure of watching in my lifetime. Like “The Barn” dudes it would not surprise me to see Steve move on to bigger things soon… Next up for Steve “A Meowy Christmas”.

 

Gross Movie Reviews #419

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Gross Movie Reviews #419

 

Leatherface (On Demand) – Once again someone has decided to remake “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”… again. Or is it another prequel to the prequel? Anyway I would love to sit here and take a total shit on this film but I cannot. The film falls into a couple arguments that I will explain but first let’s talk plot. The film takes place in the 50s to establish the Sawyer family and a kid named Bud who is supposed to become Leatherface? Mom is not happy as on Bud’s birthday he refuses to kill a local trespasser. The local sheriff isn’t real thrilled with the whole family either as he takes Bud away to be placed in an asylum for kids. Several years pass and Mama Sawyer is still fighting to see her kid. A couple of other inmates cause a ruckus and a riot breaks out. This allows for Bud, his protector Jackson, the two inmates that started it all, and a nurse they kidnapped to escape. The manhunt begins for them thus also setting in motion the story of how Leatherface is born. Now there is an unexpected twist that happens that will make you have a lot of questions? But let’s get back to some of my arguments about this film existing: First, this is more proof they are willing to throw crap at the wall for this franchise but not do the one thing that I believe would work and Leatherface fans be happy with? So this film has no connection to the 2013 flick that you inherit Leatherface and is it a true remake of the first (1974) version or the more recent one with Jessica Alba. Because of this gimme $5-$7 million dollar budget, Jeff Burr to direct, Ken Foree, Kate Hodge, and R.A. get to star and I have a great idea of where the story picks up 25 years after “Leatherface 3”? Second, yinz owe Rob Zombie a paycheck! He did pretty much the same thing with the remake of “Halloween”… Kid in asylum fucks shit up once escapes. Which third thing leads me to the argument of the remake “Dawn of the Dead” and “Halloween” if they are titled something else I believe they are awesome flicks but they are titled what they are it changes the dynamic. The movie wasn’t terrible at all but you think they would take a cue from the “Child’s Play” franchise and know it is okay to make a sixth, seventh sequel to the original film and it still make sense. Anyway I give this weirdo remake version of Leatherface 2 ½ stars.

 

XX (DVD) – A pretty cool anthology of four tales of horror all directed by women. The “Don’t Fall” segment may have been my favorite as a girl name Gretchen turns into a horrific cool creature on a camping trip that devours her friends. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Universal Monsters (DVD) – Several documentaries from the early 2000s that cover all the originals: Dracula, Wolf Man, Frankenstein, Bride, Invisible Man. Discussing their beginnings and how the stories made it to film. But also the big thing or reason to check these out is how much they cover the Lugosi and Karloff relationship on and off film. If you enjoy old school horror this stuff is made for you as I give it 4 stars.

 

Would You Rather (DVD) – Brittany Snow plays a character that is in a tight spot: no job, bills are piling up, and trying to take care of her sick brother. Then an opportunity comes along where all her prayers or money woes would be answered. It comes in form of a rich older dude (Jeffrey Combs) who has eight people over for a chance for their bills to be paid for and they are set for life. All the eight people must do is make it through a dinner party and play a few little games that have consequences. The film is a little brutal but fun as of course Jeffrey Combs just brings the movie to life with his charm. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

House of the Witch (DVD/SyFy Channel) – It’s time for a Halloween party thrown by some college kids. So they go to the old abandoned house that was rumored to have witches living in it. Once there they begin to experience weird things and they slowly are killed off. No way this was even close to a “Night of the Demons” so save your popcorn as I give this flicked 1 star.

 

The Sandman (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Claire (Haylie Duff) gets her niece Madison after her brother meets his untimely death. But Claire is not ready for what is in store for her as Madison’s dream of a creature named The Sandman comes to life and kills for Madison. Meanwhile secret agent man Tobin Bell is trying to harness the power of Madison for military weapon use. To ruin Tobin’s plans of Madison a doctor played by Amanda Wyss may have an answer and a way to help Madison get rid of the Sandman forever. A solid cast and a solid horror flick for the cable channel as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Wish Upon (DVD) – Claire is a little girl who sees her mother commit suicide in their attic. Years later and now high school senior age Claire’s father finds this antique box while garbage picking. Claire examines the antique and cleans it up wishing for a horrible classmate of hers to begin rotting. The next morning the girl’s flesh is rotting. She then wishes for the cutest guy in school to fall in love with her and he does. Claire soon understands the power of this antique box. But as she learns from a guy friend who cares the box comes at a blood price. People close to you must die in some horrible way. After becoming popular she fights with her best friends about it because if she gets to seven wishes the box drives you insane and claims your soul. This was a nice entertaining surprise that was like a “Wishmaster” and “Final Destination” sandwich! I have to give this pleasant horror surprise 3 stars.

 

Let it Die (You Tube) – Another project from the cool ass Forte Films Entertainment where this go around is a short film about a father who has regrets of how his daughter turned out. Too bad he keeps her flesh-eating ass chained in a basement! I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Send your film to Grossfest!

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Grossfest Film Contest

Hey independent filmmakers you have a feature length film or a short film that you are thinking about sending to festivals? Well, we are looking for them for Grossfest 2018! Here are the rules:

 

First, we need a physical copy of the film to qualify.

Second, no fee for entering the film except the shipping charges you will have to pay to get the film to us.

Third, this does not guarantee the film will play at Grossfest. Why? We have a limited amount of time. Come on people it’s a one day event. Tim Gross will be picking the best feature and best short film and they will receive the first ever Grossfest movie award. Also all films will be reviewed and show up on www.grossmoviereviews.com . Like the film or not Tim will still review it.

Fourth, this begins October 31, 2017 and all entries need to be in or postmarked by May 28, 2018. This is so proper time can be given to review the movie and decide the winners. The winners of best feature and best short film will be shown at some point between 11am – midnight July 28, 2018 during Grossfest. Hopefully we will have a schedule of the films playing a few weeks before Grossfest?

Any questions can be sent to grossfest@gmail.com . Or contact Tim Gross on Facebook www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews for where to send it.

The latest announcements for Grossfest!

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For our fourth guest announcement for Grossfest, I would like to introduce a young and upcoming author who has written two books recently “Soul of Fire” and “The Hatred Within”. A huge horror movie fan and the tattoos to prove it he consumed himself with writing these first two books and creating something readers were afraid to put down without finishing it to the end. His excitement and passion for not just the horror genre but for writing is something horror fans will be drawn too when meeting him. This is why it’s my pleasure to introduce author Terrence Main and expect more to come from this young man.

For our fifth guest announcement for Grossfest, “Is a man usually seen as the half-human/half-sasquatch movie mascot “Sascratch”? Probably he is best known for writing/directing the bodily-fluid-humor-infused Italian horror homage “The Italian Zombie Movie” a few years back. Since then, he’s been a busy indie horror film contributor, producing, composing soundtracks, editing horror features and creating miniature effects – Next up for Sascratch is a new feature “The Giant Rubber Monster Movie 2” – homage to giant monster TV shows like “Johnny Sokko’s Flying Robot”, scheduled for a 2018 release!” You can call this person the “Swiss Army Knife” of independent filmmaking and Michigan proud. His imagination is absolutely endless and his creations are brilliant as I would like to introduce Thomas Berdinski.

For our sixth guest announcement for Grossfest 2018 and his first ever convention appearance as a guest is a filmmaker that has had me excited about his films since I met him as a teenager working on an untitled film at the time. This kid showed me photos of movie shoots he had been doing that I described as something as impressive as Peter Jackson’s early work! No bullshit I told everybody about him and his movie until I had it in my hands… The film was “Welcome to Deer Creek” which in my review I called it “Dead Alive at a corn festival!” It was an absolute beautiful gorefest. He has gone on to make other films such as “Tonight You Die” and “Happy Horror Holocaust”. This filmmaker is proof of why I will watch anything in hopes of finding that next great filmmaker horror fans will know and love. His name is Jim Roberts and this announcement is something I have always dreamed about doing for the mere reason I believe Jim has the talent and passion to give horror fans something very cool every time out.

#grossfest

#grossfest2018

For more details on the event, guests, or hotel go to http://www.grossfest.com

Gross Movie Reviews #417

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Gross Movie Reviews #417

 

Good Morning Carlos (Vimeo) – A short film from Brazilian filmmaker Gurcius Gewdner, that sets up a feature length film. Say that dude’s name a few times. The short film introduces the audience to Carlos, a man who apparently does not eat enough fruit and fiber according to his doctor. Carlos calls the poor doctor 4am crying and screaming then disappears throughout the city holding his stomach and puking disgusting cream corn. It’s weird, a little disgusting, but sets you up for the feature as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Pazucus: Island of Vomit and Despair (Vimeo/DVD) – This is the 110 minute vision of the “Good Morning Carlos” fleshed out. Now it took me a little bit to understand what the hell was going on but I am a dumb American and chose to watch the feature before the short film. If I would have did it in reverse no problem. But anyway Carlos is having bowel issues and his doctor is not too happy with Carlos calling him in the middle of the night. As Carlos bleeds, pukes, and drools all over the local streets, Carlos’ doctor is busy stalking a grocery store and random people thinking they are Carlos. Once he has them he kills them in various ways as he keeps stalking Carlos. Meanwhile Carlos keeps puking his way to an island where folks are making out on the beach and partying. Here is where it gets a little weird not that this film wasn’t already a complete chaotic fun mess but while Carlos is wallowing in a poopy stream but an extra from “Cannibal Holocaust” finds him! This Amazon woman screams hugs, screeches, etc. at Carlos to help him with his shit monsters inside of him. Yes people, ‘Shit Monsters’ and they are the sign of the apocalypse! Once Carlos poops out the shit monsters they begin a killing spree including Carlos’ doctor. This film is amazingly very disgusting and not for the weak minded. It says in the credits it was inspired by Frank Hennelotter and Roger Corman but I would like to throw in a little Troma? My only real complaint with this crazy ass weirdness is I believe it could have found a happy medium between the short film running time and the feature length (110 minutes) running time but outside of that this film will find its audience as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Night Claws (DVD) – David A. Prior of S.O.V. “Sledgehammer” fame apparently made a Bigfoot film a few years back. It was pretty solid! Bigfoot stalks a small town Alabama woods and it’s pissed off and bloodthirsty. Small town sheriff struggling for answers begrudging allows Professor Sarah Evans along for the ride to help out. But as the bodies pile up and the professional hunter stalking Bigfoot it cause issues for the small town sheriff to stop the murderous rampage of the beast. Seriously the movie surprised me of how solid the story was as most lower budgeted Bigfoot movies are usually hot garbage. Not Mr. Prior’s vision, kudos to you sir and thank you as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (DVD) – If there is such a thing as hate watching I did it with every fucking entry into this stupid zombie series. We come to find out of course it all comes back to Raccoon City or now what looks like a rejected set from “The Walking Dead”. And Alice must rush back to ‘The Hive’ to get the airborne cure for the T-virus to save the world. One question: Can this series be remade now by someone that actually knows the video game characters and knows how to make a zombie movie or we gonna suffer a pseudo-reboot in about four years starting all over again with Mila? So again I give this crap as this might be the only thing I hate more than stupid fucking boring ass Mothra!

 

Foreword (YouTube) – A very good actor/director Michael McCallum’s latest short film that was entered into the Detroit 48 hour film fest. As usual Michael McCallum gives us a dramatic and smart short film in “Forword”. An author who has written much lately sends a postcard to himself that can change his life? I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

The Dark Side of the Womb (Vimeo/DVD) – The film begins with a woman giving birth and a nurse of course helping her along. Problem or usually isn’t but in this case it is as the woman is having twins. She doesn’t give a flying turd about the second child as the first child is a child of a war hero and should be cherished. The other should be thrown away? 30 years pass and the cool and good looking brother goes out to meet his girlfriend but instead meets death from two murderous clowns. Meanwhile, a bigger woman named Linda gives birth to an adult head but her boyfriend just fell and has caused brain death so head transplant by Dr. Hook’s best friend who does bizarre surgeries. And we get one of the greatest quotes from an independent film: Dr. Hook says, “I know a guy who does bizarre transplants!” So the ugly twin Ed and Linda meet at Doctor Hook’s office one day and it is love at first sight until Linda’s ex now a killer clown comes a knocking… The people that were casted as Ed and Linda were an absolute treat to watch. Sam Salerno’s feature is hilarious, bizarre, and ridiculous and I enjoyed it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Twelve Pole (YouTube/DVD) – Sam Hodge set out to make an independent feature that has a group of innocent house flippers buying a house to fix up and sell. Seems like easy cash so after a quick decision they buy it but need someone to stay at the house and wait not only for them to bring tools back in a few days, but the electric guy, locksmith, etc. Will gets stuck staying there so he convinces his girlfriend to stay with him but after one night of strange noises and someone grabbing her she leaves. The guys get back a few days later and Will looks like shit but gets back in the groove after he buries some witchcraft shit he found. Or he thinks he buried all of it. The group of friends begins to turn on each other and just brutally mangle each other until there is only one of them left? The film is well structured and definitely has that fun creepy feel but it’s almost 105 minute running time needs cut down to 75 minutes in my opinion to keep that cool and creepy feel of the trailer for the flick. Sam Hodge and others made sure there are likable characters and great gore scenes but I believe the film needs condensed some as the conversations/dialogue do get dull. With that in mind it is a rough cut and I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out the Facebook group for details: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111   

 

Gross Movie Reviews #416

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Gross Movie Reviews #416

 

Rage and Honor (DVD) – Cynthia Rothrock teams up with Richard Norton to kick drug dealers asses in this early 90s action flick. But Rothrock’s brother played by Brian Thompson is the mastermind behind all the drugs hitting the streets and ruining present day’s youth. It all boils down to a bad ass fight on top of a roof where Brian Thompson kicks both of their asses most of the fight. Fun stuff if you are a Rothrock or Brian Thompson fan, plus there is a sequel as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Terror Birds (DVD) – Greg Evigan of “My Two Dads” fame has a grand plan when he finds some weird rare prehistoric bird on an island. His hope is to have a scientist played by Leslie Easterbrook figure out how the birds can successfully mate and the eggs survive? Six months pass and patients are thin until a man out bird watching gets accidentally eaten by the birds which set off a course of events that leads his daughter and friends to the sanctuary. Now the friends must fight their way off the land before they become the next meal. Hilarious random nonsense that I give 2 stars too.

 

Tekken: Kazuya’s Revenge (DVD) – Not exactly what was the end game of this flick but some dude with no identity is forced to be an assassin until he begins to remember a few things. I only watched it because I thought it was another video game adaption. It just might be but who cares, I’m old, it was kind of boring so let’s movie on as I give it 1 star.

 

Skinwalker Ranch (DVD) – Jon Gries is a man whose son disappears after some weird lights come by the farm. The film is a found footage film based on a true story of a place that is the new undocumented ‘Area 51’? Gries boy Hoyt disappears and several months later an independent crew of investigators comes knocking to try and figure out the mystery. Strange noises, ghost kid, giant wolf monster, and then aliens cause all the trouble. An interesting found footage film that I believe doesn’t want to totally commit to being a paranormal or alien flick but at least it was worth the watch. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Haunting of Whaley House (DVD) – Lynn Lowry is showing the ropes to a young college girl who has just landed a job as a guide to the most haunted house in America? While hanging out with friends they convince her to allow them to hang out in the house overnight since none of them really believe in ghosts? To prove it they bring a friend’s uncle who knows all about ghosts and spirits and try to communicate with the spirits in the house just to prove none of it is real. Once they do make contact they are locked inside and the Whaleys’ home and they would like their daughter back. But the young woman who has been working there does not want to go even if she does look like her. One by one the friends are destroyed by the ghosts until they have their daughter. Surprisingly this film is from Asylum Entertainment and there wasn’t any Sharknadoes, cheesy dialogue, or a giant snake. Just a pretty entertaining paranormal film which I do not say often as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Scavenger Hunt (DVD) – A fun flick from 1979 that stars everyone except Burt Reynolds. A game maker Milton Parker (Vincent Price) is a millionaire from all the games he has invented for kids and families over the years. He dies in bed with his nurse playing one of his games so all his relatives close and distant come to the estate where they will be a part of a scavenger hunt? One last game that could land someone 200 million dollars! Even Mr. Parker’s help has a shot at it if they collect enough things on the list. This is one of many staples in cinema during the late 70s that got overused but usually seem entertaining when you were a kid. I give this cinema staple 2 stars.

 

It (Remake/Theater) – To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect from this remake? The original film was a TV movie that sparked several TV projects adapted from King’s books in the early 90s. First half of the original was great and then the second half was total crap so I wasn’t totally sold on a remake. But in case you missed it Pennywise is an evil clown that roams the sewers of the small town Derry. Pennywise has been around since 1908 when some horrible egg hunt went wrong and many kids died. The town of Derry has had a very strange and twisted history as its death rate among children is more than the national average. Every 27 years he comes out to feed and take kids back to the sewers with him. But this time it’s different in 1989 almost a full year after Georgie died and his older brother wants answers. Along the way the kids are haunted by the evil clown as Pennywise wants to feed on them and their souls. The remake didn’t overthink the adaption and kept this horror flick creepy and entertaining as the kids make a pack at the end to come back if Pennywise every comes back to haunt the town of Derry. For me it was nice to see a very good horror flick from Hollywood that I wasn’t bitching about as I came out of the theater. If anything I am actually excited for ‘Chapter Two’ just to see if they can do a much better job than the 1990 version? I also believe this horror film creep out teenagers for years to come which is cool in my book as I give it 3 stars.

Moon Child (DVD) – Oh a lost gem from Todd Sheets in 1994 where he made a no budget, no problem post-apocalyptic flick. In this wasteland of a world people are dying from the plague and fighting the new government! A man named Jacob Stryker has escaped dark government scientists who were experimenting on him night and day. They of course want a new unstoppable soldier. Jacob just wants out in the world to go look for his son. The rebels want Jacob and his son on their side as they could be the answer for the plague. So there is a samurai/Stormtrooper dude with ninjas and bounty hunters trying to track down Jacob before he fully understands his hybrid powers. This movie is absolutely CRAPTASTIC! I love the mere balls Todd had just to try this type of film with not much money and just his passion to make it work. If anything this movie makes me respect Todd Sheets that much more because of the crazy car stunts that involve a Bronco II and a 1985 Plymouth Horizon. Oh and the main character turns into a werewolf also! This may not be his best work but this is the type of independent stuff I would like to strap to the face of some filmmakers to show it can be done with nothing but passion and the gore Todd Sheets is known for. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out the Facebook group for details: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111   

Terror Films Releases Official Poster & Trailer for Horror/Comedy DIE LAUGHING

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LOS ANGELES, CA (September 15th, 2017) – Bob Golub’s DIE LAUGHING is available today, on major digital platforms! Earlier in the week, Terror Films has announced it would be releasing comedian Golub’s deranged, docu-style horror/comedy DIE LAUGHING, with two movie clips. Now the genre distributor is unveiling the official poster and trailer, here!

The film stars and centers around real life actor/stand-up comedian Bob Golub. He doesn’t just kill the crowds with his jokes; he sometimes just kills them. He answers an online ad placed by a documentary filmmaker searching for people who have committed an actual homicide. Golub responds and insanity and murder ensue as we get an inside look at this funny guy’s demented, murderous, and darkly comedic world.

DIE LAUGHING is a completely improvised work from the minds of Golub and his filmmaking partner-in-crime, Mark Mannschreck. Inspired by the likes of the cult hit Man Bites Dog, this pseudo-documentary was shot over many months on the road with Golub using a single camera in a raw, cinéma vérité style.

Terror Films will release this film across multiple digital platforms. Platforms include:  iTunes, Amazon Instant/Prime, Google Play/You Tube, X-Box Live and many others.  The release begins with North America and will be followed by a worldwide digital release on iFlix.

The official trailer: https://youtu.be/8sEZw2ITK6Y

 

For more information on Terror Films, visit:

 

http://www.terrorfilms.net/film/die-laughing-9152017

 

https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/