Gross Movie Reviews #411

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Gross Movie Reviews #411

 

Odd Thomas (DVD) – Anton Yelchin plays a young man that does not have anything tying him down except for his beautiful girlfriend that knows his secret. Odd Thomas can see dead people. They don’t talk, get upset, or bother people but they use Odd to help them resolve issues. But what else come with that is these ghastly creatures he will encounter from time to time when there is evil present. Odd has a knack of solving murders and cold cases because of this gift and the local detective played by Willem Dafoe is thankful for this. We also get a weird but funny appearance from Arnold Voosloo who hangs out at a tire shop all day and makes jokes with his severed hand. The film is based on a series of Dead Koontz books which sad to say without Anton I cannot see a studio trying to continue the series as of now on the big screen. I give this nice surprise of a movie 3 stars.

 

Satan’s Storybook (VHS) – A lost shot-on-video anthology that stars Ginger Lynn (Allen) the former porn star as a ninja who her and her companion are in the realm of hell to kidnap Satan’s queen. After the companion is killed Ginger the ninja is able to kidnap the queen only to find out it is her sister which Satan told her that Ginger’s character was killed. So Satan sends out his minions to search for her as his jester tries to calm the dark lord with stories of a mass murderer brought back to life by a witch and a clown who hangs himself after being fired. When the queen is returned to Satan she leaves for the Black Forest with her sister upset at Satan. Of course Satan lied to you but it just makes the movie that much more of a fun hokey watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Devil’s Candy (DVD) – A man and his wife find a house cheap mainly because shortly after a man happened to hear Satan speaking to him and he killed his parents. But the man has returned to the home and wants to stay at the same time the father who is an artist keeps blanking out from our world and begins to paint these crazy images. These new paintings only get him in trouble with his daughter as he keeps losing time every time he enters the barn to paint and he is beginning to hear voices. Some cool satanic metal shit goes down in this movie (example: the killer plays a guitar loud to drown out Satan) but some things are left unexplained possibly because of cuts to the film. The movie at times felt like there was a lot more (15 to 20 minutes more) because of a couple characters that were introduced but not fully developed. This is not “Deathgasm” but maybe something a little more low key for fans of this type of horror movies as I give it 2 stars.

The Ice Cream Truck (DVD/Vimeo) – A young married woman named Mary has moved back to her small home town from the busy West Coast. She has arrived to get the house in order while her husband and kids are still finishing school and work. Mary meets the neighbors and they talk her into coming to a graduation party to hang and see the rest of the weird ass neighbors. As they establish how weird suburbia can be compared to the big city a dude with an old school ice cream truck roams the neighborhood at all hours of the day and night. Now this where the film gets itself in a little horror movie trouble: Is it a thriller/slow burn kind of thing where you are waiting for Mary to fuck the 18 year old dude? Oh which by the way who cares if his girlfriend gets killed by the young ice cream serving lunatic? Or is it a true gruesome slasher flick about the ice cream kid and his truck?  Plus you should know as a filmmaker ahead of time hey half ass horror fan will compare this to the Clint Howard classic of the 90s. I enjoy the creepy suburbia back drop and characters but the lack of trying to explain why exactly The Ice Cream Truck killer is there in the neighborhood hurts this film for the long run. Cool poster, good idea, but poor execution and its inevitable comparison to Clint Howard’s cult classic will hurt this film in the long run as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out more about it at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (DVD) – Apparently Tom Cruise meant Pittsburgh as they go away from what they did great in the first flick and using Pittsburgh as the back drop. But in this sequel Jack Reacher helps out a fellow military officer who is screwed over when she investigates the deaths of two of her personnel overseas. The two race around avoiding authorities to prove her innocence and bring down the plotting officers within the army. The sequel is a far cry from the first film but doesn’t do itself any favors as this film seem to lack heart as I give it 2 stars.

 

The House on Willow St. (DVD) – Four criminals get together to plan out a kidnapping for quick ransom that will help all of them out. It’s an easy money grab or so they believe as they spend six weeks planning. But once they move in on the house for the kidnapping nothing seems to be right. It seems a little too easy. They find the girl and take her to an abandoned warehouse where they make the call for ransom demand. Problem is no one is calling back or seems to care. Strange things begin to happen to all four but nothing serious just yet as two stay at the warehouse to watch the girl and the other two go back to the house. Before they know it the girl they kidnapped just happens to be possessed by a demon that wants their souls and there is a house full of mutilated bodies that now has their fingerprints. The movie asks the question: What do you do next? I wasn’t thrilled with the film but did enjoy the gore and different concept for a horror movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Devil’s Dolls (Blu-ray) – Henry is a bad ass serial killer that uses a “Slumber Party Massacre”-like drill to kill his victims. But one gets away, finds authorities, and they gun him down. A detective who been tracking him down for a long time has Henry’s box of trinkets that happen to be evil. The detective’s little girl makes jewelry out of them and sells them at the second hand shop. Anyone that holds one of these dolls/trinkets becomes evil and starts fucking people up! The film keeps it quick, simple, and bloody and gives the paranormal genre a little twist as I give it 3 stars.

Garden Party Massacre (DVD/Vimeo) – Filmmaker Gregory Blair gives us a film about a couple (Caleb and Addison) who are having a small gathering that the theme is ‘no cell phones’. The party is all about people interacting with each other. The socially awkward party begins when all the characters show up and begin eating until a psycho with a pick axe shows up and kills the annoying girl. Now Caleb and Addison and fellow guests must figure out how to escape the house and make a run for it as the psycho killer has them trapped. The killer wants blood, the guests are in a state of panic, and Mr. Blair throws a curve ball for the party guests as much more happens. I would love to say more but then I would just be giving away the movie. Blair and company make great use of the house and backyard but the story set up and the actors playing the characters are the gems of this movie. The actors should be proud of what they done because they were simply entertaining and made this typical horror movie into so much more! I was just happy to see a movie with a title like this made but for the horror flick to be this much fun was just icing or blood on top of the red velvet cake (watch the movie you’ll understand). Plain and simple the movie was fucking brilliant and may show up on my “Best of 2017 list” as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Go to www.gardenpartymassacrefilm.com for more details.

 

The People Who Own the Dark (VHS) – A Spanish film starring Paul Naschy of course about some government executives going to a castle in the middle of nowhere to get their freak on! But before the body fluids can flow like wine nuclear bombs have hit nearby causing blindness in people who were not in the castle’s catacombs. Now it’s everyone for themselves in this new post-apocalyptic world as the group of persons makes their way to a village for food and decides how bad is it? After killing one of the villagers and grabbing food they are eventually tracked down by the blind village who want revenge. The 1976 film has some odd pacing to it but has a pretty dark outlook of what happen to people who seen the blast and being affected by the radiation fallout. I give the post-apocalyptic 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #410

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Gross Movie Reviews #410

 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods (DVD) – The poster looked bad ass, the premise sounded awesome, the title was perfect, and… the movie totally disappointed me. With the title you knew what was going to happen but the film introduces a slimy ass Ghoulie-looking creature that kills people having sex in the woods. This intrigued the shit out of me but as the film went along it failed to impress me of why or what this creature was there to begin with??? So some college kids head to the woods to hang with friends (Meg and Luke) to fuck and get drunk but that gets pushed to the side when they become worried that they cannot find their friends. More fucking, more violence, more cool looking creature but why is the creature there in the woods. No backstory folks! Yes tits are awesome, gore is awesome, but you added a fucking cool element: the creature, to this slasher storyline and falls limp. I believe this film could have been so much more in the right hands low budget or not and for that I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Beware the Slenderman (DVD) – A HBO documentary about an internet urban legend that affected three young teen girls’ lives. And apparently this is a thing that people are freaking out over even though it all started several years ago from an online Photoshop contest. It intrigues me and also proves to me: a) I am old and b) this younger generation is completely stupid and iPhones will be the death of us? But let’s get away from the old man talk as this interesting documentary show how two normal white bread girls went down the internet wormhole known as “The Slenderman”. Not only has it documented all the events leading up to the two girls trying to kill a friend for the Slenderman but the after effects among families, other friends, and so on. But for me being old it has several experts explaining how this can happen these days whether it’s from distant or non-existent parents to iPhones and iPads are addictive to this new generation may have no brains in their head. What doesn’t help as shown in the documentary as we become more disconnected these stories of the Slenderman are gaining steam more than the old school boogeyman, ghosts, etc., because it caters to today’s disenchanted youth. I am fucking old just typing that statement! But it is a really good and interesting documentary  that makes you want to follow what happens next with these two girls as they go through the court system convicted as adults… I give this intriguing documentary 4 stars.

 

The Purge: Election Year (DVD) – 18 years has passed since the original “Purge” happened and now a woman president candidate is making waves as she wants “The Purge” to be abolished! Now of course the inner rich government doesn’t want this to happen and the god fearing folks change some rules this time around to make it legal for government officials to be killed. All she got to do is survive the night and good chance she will be president. Intentional or not you can watch this film two ways: One, someone was really trying to make references to the current presidency in Donald Trump? Or two, just another violent thriller installment in the series just trying to keep up with the possible current trend in horror? Either way I still enjoyed the second film the most as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Beaks the Movie (VHS) – The movie of many titles (Birds of Prey or Killer Birds) or I like to call it: the movie that starred the delicious Michelle Johnson in a film trying to beat the sequel of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” out for release. The film starts off great as we witness a hawk/eagle gouging out a dude’s eyeball out and going for his jugular on a hang glider. From there Michelle Johnson plays a reporter Vanessa Cartwright who is trying to get her big break. While covering a random bird attack she learns there have been several others. She heads to a small town in Spain where birds have attacked before years ago and on their way again to waste to the town for no reason at all. Outside of the bird attacks and the slow-mo scenes the film is pretty boring. But hey it was made in 1986 so I had to watch it at least once as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD) – Now that I have lost track of what is actually happening in these films about werewolves vs. vampires, Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene the Death Dealer. Apparently all monsters want her ass dead! Has no clue where her daughter is and now a werewolf with hybrid blood wants to find her daughter so he can become the master werewolf and wipe out all the vampires… Oh hold on Lycan, have to use the proper name. But anyhow Brother Noopsie aka Charles Dance shows up to help welcome Selene back into the vampire coven only for all to get fucked over again. Okay I got bored. Honestly people this series of films got lost in its own mythology after the first film. The first film is great and I still watch from time to time. But since they have felt like globs of shit thrown against the wall and it doesn’t help such films “30 Days of Night” and “Twilight” has been released since the story of Selene has unfolded. Sorry Kate you are a hot piece of ass but I am bored of the Death Dealer storyline as many other horror fans are also. If you are still into skin tight leather on Kate B, this is for you as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick: Chapter 2 (DVD) – So Keenau Reeves is back the man no one wants to see as you are about to be dead. The film picks up right after the events of the first event where he is looking for the Russian that took his car. And John Wick dismantles the whole crew just on principal of getting the car back. Once done someone cashes in a chip that is a debt asking for John Wick to do a favor. This favor is because John Wick was able to leave the hitman business. Now that John Wick has been forced into doing this task he is fucked over and had enough and is done with rules. Again wasn’t overly impressed with the action film but still enjoyed it enough I wanna actually see more of this underworld as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Suicide Squad (DVD) – DC’s mess of a film where some of Batman’s villains are gathered to be a hit squad to take down the Enchantress. She has gotten back with her brother to build some machine and tear the world a part. The government also wants an option to counterattack Superman or someone like Superman who threatens them? The movie is a mess but still an entertaining mess as they didn’t ruin Harley Quinn as much as I feared. DC take your time and stop rushing these projects out and again take a cue from what yinz are doing with the DC projects on TV. My hope for this film is that we do get a Harley Quinn and Joker film in the future as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Bye Bye Man (DVD) – A paranormal film that takes a different route in telling a story as three college kids’ move into a house off campus. But the house has a history of where a man killed several people who may have been driven mad by a thing called “The Bye Bye Man”. The man researched this urban legend and was eventually driven mad because he started to believe and it was making him seeing things. Once moved in one of the kids read something written in an end table and strange things begin to happen to him and his two friends. He researches the words and finds out it is something called “The Bye Bye Man” that will continue to kill as long you say his name. It’s a little odd but worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Debt Collector (DVD) – A throwback mobster film made on a low budget about a debt collector Teddy Greene who believes doing things the old school way. He goes around collecting debts for his boss but when no one wants to pay Teddy is beating the shit out of hookers, pimps, and so on to get the money for his boss. But Mr. Stone is not happy with Greene’s tactics all through L.A. because people may no longer borrow money? Teddy growing more and more frustrated with life, ex-wife, and his boss goes to see an old friend for advice which he disregards until the latest debt collection is stolen. With all the independent horror movies that flood the internet and streaming sites it’s always nice to see a filmmaker take a stab at a different genre and do well with it. I really enjoyed this film for the mere fact that you really feel for the Teddy Greene character even when he makes a hooker suck his dick. Independent film fans will enjoy this quality flick as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

 

Tsunambee (DVD/Vimeo) – Been a while since I have watched a film that I want to unwatch but here it is. The film doesn’t know exactly what movie it wants to be (post-apocalyptic, killer bee, or just a Christian film hidden in a bad SyFy Channel copycat?) but of course fails on all levels. Apparently, giant killer bees are found and this sets off earthquakes and mass race riots in the streets of all the cities. A group of unlikely people set themselves up in a house on the countryside to try and figure out what is their next step but a lot talk faith gets in the way. The film goes from killer bees are attacking to people questioning faith. Unless the film is a bad sequel to “The Unholy” not many horror fans are going to pay attention to this garbage called a movie. Please stay away from this feature as I give 0 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

Bonejangles (DVD/Vimeo) – A low budget film where two bumbling small town cops Doug and Randy just happen to help catch a supernatural serial killer named ‘Mr. Bonejangles’. Now with the capture the serial killer needs to be transferred to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. The cops will meet the sanitarium associates hallway in a small town of Argento where oh yeah just happens to be cursed by a witch. Every April 18th a witch’s curse makes zombies attack the town and kill all they can. The cops and Mr. Bonejangles arrive late into Argento and the chaos has begun. If that wasn’t enough Randy is originally left the town when his life was ruined by his high school bully who is seen as the small town hero. The only plan Randy can come up with is trying to lure Mr. Bonejangles into the witch’s lair to kill her to break the curse and hopefully kill the supernatural serial killer too. The structure of the film is fun, the characters are likable, there is lots of violence, Reggie Bannister shows up talking about having sex once, and most of all the film doesn’t take itself too serious which adds to how delighted I was with the end product. Wasn’t expecting much but glad this horror flick surprised me as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

31 (DVD) – Well Rob Zombie used Kickstarter to get his film made. Sorry dude you are worth many millions of dollars and no way you can tell me you couldn’t pitch this to Lionsgate and get it made? But this argument is for a different time as a group of individuals driving the long highway on Halloween 1976 are kidnapped by a group of people in old school prison outfits. They wake up only to know a couple of them were killed and now they are about to become part of a random 12 hour show to three rich people who bet on killers stalking them. Now the movie is nor good or bad to me as I felt like I have watched this film or some parts of it several times over the past two years? There have been several independent horror films that have told this story so maybe I was numb to the film concept? Outside of the “Halloween” films this Rob Zombie film may have underwhelmed me as I have wanted Rob Zombie to do a different horror project. Something out of his comfort zone that may not have similar characters to his other films? But hey he can do whatever he wants I just know this movie wasn’t good or bad it just exists but I will be waiting to hear what he does next as I give this feature 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Suburban Nightmare THE ICE CREAM TRUCK coming this August!

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Writer-director Megan Freels Johnston’s suburban nightmare The Ice Cream Truck will hit theaters August 18 and be released day-and-date on VOD via Uncork’d Entertainment. A new trailer and poster have been released to coincide with the release.

The provocative psychological thriller stars Deanna Russo (Being Human, Gossip Girl) as Mary, who moves back to her suburban hometown after her husband gets relocated for work.  As her family ties up loose ends back home, she moves into their new house alone. And although the move makes Mary nostalgic for her youth, there’s something very sinister about that Ice Cream Truck that patrols her suburb.

The Ice Cream Truck also stars Dana Gaier (Despicable Me 3), John Redlinger (Thirst, Banshee), Emil Johnsen (Isolerad), Hilary Barraford (Go For Sisters), Jeff Daniel Phillips (31),  and Lisa Ann Walter (War of the Worlds).

Storytelling is very much in Freels Johnston’s DNA.  The granddaughter of legendary crime writer Elmore Leonard, The Ice Cream Truck screenplay was a semi-finalist in the Circus Road Screenplay competition.

As a producer developing material for over a decade, Freels Johnston worked on adaptations of her grandfather’s work and produced Sparks, the directorial debut of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  After completing a project for the USA Network, she decided to follow her passion and write and direct her own material. Her first film, 2014’s micro budget thriller Rebound, developed a cult following on VOD, was called, “Almost David Lynchian in its strangeness” by Film Threat and Rue Morgue said, the film “(was) worth watching to the end for the unnervingly realistic twist ending.”

The Ice Cream Truck will be released in theaters and on VOD August 18.

Official Synopsis :
Mary’s husband gets relocated for work which allows her to move back to her suburban hometown. As her family ties up loose ends back home, Mary moves into their new house all alone and….waits. Yet in this idealistic world, something seems very odd. The Ice Cream Man, a symbol of youth and good times, starts killing some of her neighbors. Mary soon learns that the suburbs are scarier in more ways that she ever remembered.

 

NEW TRAILER
http://tinyurl.com/TRAILERICECREAM
or
https://youtu.be/PxEQnYpy_-U

 

NEW POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMPOSTER

IMAGES

http://tinyurl.com/ICECREAMIMAGES

Terror Films Announces Worldwide Release Date & Special iTunes Fan Promotion for STD Infected Thriller NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE!

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LOS ANGELES, CA (July 3rd, 2017) – Terror Films has set Friday, July 7th as the worldwide release date for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE. Fangoria has praised the film. Fangoria said of the film’s quality: “disgusting, transgressive, and absolutely bonkers, Jonathan Straiton’s, NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE will be the most jaw-dropping horror offering you’ll see all year.”  This disturbing film releases this week!

The story follows five teenage friends. They set out for the beach on their spring break vacation. Their good times are cut short when one of the group, Carrie (Toni Ann Gambale), contracts an STD at a gas station bathroom.  The friends get detoured to an isolated motel in a small town. Here, the STD turns out to be something that can’t be treated by a shot of penicillin and it begins turning those infected into the living dead.

The film has played at multiple festivals and it has won several awards. NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE showed at the Fangoria Chainsaw Awards (2017). Here, it was nominated for “Best Makeup & SFX.” The film also showed at the Phoenix International Horror. At the Sci-Fi Film Festival (2016), NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE won “Best Horror Feature.” At the HorrorHound Weekend Film Festival (2016), it won “Best Special Effects – Feature “ and it was nominated for: “Best Feature,” “Best Director” and “Best Actress.” At the Crimson Screen Horror Film Fest (2016), it won a “Jury Award,” “Best Special Effects” and “Best Actor.” The film was also nominated for: “Best Feature,” “Best Director,” “Best Produced Screenplay –Feature,” “Best Actor,” “Best Actress” and “Best Special Effects,” at this film festival. The film has been recognized across North America.

As part of Terror Film’s new Worldwide digital release model, the film will be made available across multiple digital and VOD platforms; it will also release in several countries and territories. On VOD, It will be available on: iTunes, Amazon Instant and many other platforms. Territories hosting the release include: the U.S., Canada, the Middle East, North Africa, Asia, the Caribbean, Ireland, the U.K. and Pan-Russia.

And…soon after the films July 7th release, Terror Films will be offering a special promotion, for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE. 8 digital trading cards will be made available at eight specific Horror Blogs and websites. Each site will host one card and one exclusive clip from the film. The first 25 horror fans, that digitally gather all 8 of the trading cards and repost them on the Terror Films’ Facebook page, will receive one free download for the film on iTunes! Additional details on this special promotion will be released next week. In the meantime, film fans can checkout the official trailer and poster for NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE right here!

The film’s official trailer: https://youtu.be/uAjDWqEggL0

 

For more information on Terror Films: www.terrorfilms.net

 

And: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC/

Tarantino meets Cannon Films in KARATE KILL releasing this July from Dark Cuts!

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Tarantino meets Cannon Films in Karate Kill, from acclaimed filmmaker Kurando Mitsutake, on Blu-ray, DVD and VOD July 18.

Featuring a “grimly relentless performance” (Japan Times) from Hayate, with solid support from Iron Fist’s David Sakurai and WWE icon Katarina Leigh Waters, Karate Kill will be available on Blu-ray and DVD – exclusive to Target, Walmart, Best Buy and Amazon – on July 18.  VOD will be day and date on iTunes, VHX, Google Play, Fandango, Vudu, Dish, Vubiquity, Comcast, Charter, Cox and Xbox.

A “must see” (Terror Weekend) action masterpiece from the director of Gun Woman and Blind Wolf comes to the U.S. When Karate master Kenji’s (Hayate) young sister (Mana Sakura) is kidnapped by a dangerous cult, and taken to the U.S. he will stop at nothing to find her. Partnered with a mysterious shot-gun toting partner, Kenji must use his mastery of Karate to dismantle the cult members one by one in spectacular and bloody fashion, until he finds his sister.

Dark Cuts releases Karate Kill July 18.

TRAILER

Direct File :
http://tinyurl.com/karatekilltrailer

 

YouTube Link
https://youtu.be/_QDe9Kj4aF4


IMAGES/POSTER

http://tinyurl.com/karate-kill-poster 

The highly-anticipated GREMLIN premieres on VOD this July from Uncork’d Entertainment!

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Emmy Award winning director, Ryan Bellgardt’s (Army of Frankenstein) highly anticipated creature feature Gremlin hits VOD July 11 from Uncork’d Entertainment.

Godzilla meets The Ring in a thrilling, uniquely-scripted horror jaunt that boasts amazing computer-generated effects and from some of the best in the game.

Adam receives a mysterious box from a relative containing a creature that will kill everyone he cares about. The only way to be rid of the curse is to give the box to someone he loves. As the ominous timer on the box counts down to its end, he can only imagine the horrors that await. Does he give the box away to save his family, or unleash a monster upon humanity? He can’t destroy it. He can’t escape it. He can only give it to someone he loves…

Adam Hampton, Kristy K. Boone, Catcher Stair, Katie Burgess, Mike Waugh, and Caleb Milby star in Gremlin, available everywhere on digital 7/11.
YouTube Link
https://youtu.be/RVquCdSOtXI

IMAGES/POSTER
http://tinyurl.com/gremlinstuff

Gross Movie Reviews #407

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Gross Movie Reviews #407

 

The Watcher in the Woods (VHS) – So I decided to sit down and watch this nonsense from 1980 where two sisters and their mother go to buy an old house off an old lady. The old lady thinks the older daughter is her daughter Karen from years ago that disappeared and talks to the woods every once in a while. The younger sister is played by the girl who played “Lindsey” in the horror classic ‘Halloween’. So of course the rest of the movie is spent me being Tommy Doyle behind the curtain trying to scare Lindsey until the alien shows up and returns Karen! Don’t worry you are not missing much in this flick as I give it 1 star.

 

The Dorm that Dripped Blood (Blu-ray) – I watched this slasher flick for the first time ever! Not totally sure how that happened but never got to see this flick until I picked up that ultimate Synapse Blu-ray. The movie was also known as “Death Dorm” and “Pranks” during the early 80s after its 1981 release. The film’s other memorable trait besides its artwork and titles are a young Daphne Zuniga showing up for five minutes and being a part of an awesome death scene. A generic story for “slasher film” standards but during Christmas break Joanne is in charge shutting down a dorm building and boarding it up. Meanwhile a fuzzy-haired dude that looks like an extra from ‘Slap Shot’ keeps doing a peeping tom routine. So of course soon as the bodies begin to pile up in gruesome fashion the fuzzy-haired dude is to blame. An odd ending to the generic story made me a little underwhelmed by the film but still glad I bought this great edition on Blu-ray. It isn’t: My Bloody Valentine, The Burning, Curtains, maybe even The Prowler but still glad to add it to my collection as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Monsters among Men (Blu-ray) – A dramatic independent horror film about a couple named Reed and Allison. Reed takes his woman out for a walk near the woods to pop the question. As she is saying no something happens to Reed wear he wakes up in the woods next to a dead guy and another dude digging a grave. Reed escapes and wonders who, what, or where is Allison? He comes to find out she has been abducted by a vampire because she is supposedly a “pure blood source”. Meaning vamps can gain extra strength from her blood and she has no disease. So Reed plans his revenge against these mobster-like vamps and help Allison escape as he still loves her. Most independent horror films that focus on vamps usually flake out by the ten minute mark to show a ton of boobs or lesbians. This isn’t a bad thing but it is always nice to see filmmakers like Ryan Blazic take a chance and make something more? For that I thank Ryan and his crew as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more or to purchase the film at www.monstersamongmen.com .

 

Monsters: Dark Continent (Blu-ray) – A region B Blu-ray I picked up because I wanted to see the sequel but was really intrigued with the aliens/virus whatever you want to call them. Ten years later the contingent is still being fought but is now a part of everyday life especially in the Middle East. U.S. troops must not only fight off insurgents they must also shoot down the monsters as they run rampant in the dessert. Again I enjoy the concept of the “Monsters” but I think the writers and filmmakers miss the point of what this could be? The film is more about war than the monsters and makes you question are the writers and filmmaker trying to make a statement or a possible cool concept? Either way I believe this film and the original could be much more (Aliens franchise for example) but with the lack of interest in the US for the films and money needed to make the films this was most likely the last sequel we get anyway. I give the concept 3 or 3 ½ stars but the movie only 2 ½ stars.

 

Thirst (DVD) – Just a simple creature feature where troubled teens are sent to a boot/wilderness camp of sorts in the middle of the dessert for a week. Once there a metallic space alien arrives and begins feeding on the teens until they figure out a way to fight back. Think of “Ticks” with Seth Green from the early 90s on maybe even a lower budget. I may have enjoyed the simple creature flick but I do know Project mother fucking Metalbeast would have made this film that more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Presidents Day (Vimeo/DVD) – So you haven’t gotten all your holiday horror films fill yet? Well don’t regret it as another has been made that focuses on the Presidents Day weekend. I believe college kids… but not a major plot point are on their way to an old hunting cabin to celebrate Presidents Day weekend or just to get drunk. The kids are all your usual stereotypical slasher movie characters and they even point it out during the movie. They just happen to piss off the dead that just happen to be all the dead presidents or zombie versions of them? Anyhow the film is kind of slow and you feel like this is the usual independent crap that gets floated out there on a regular basis but it isn’t! Believe me give it a chance to get going as once the presidents are all up shambling or running around trying to kill the kids hilarious shit begins. Whether it is the bad puns, one of the dead presidents having sex with Ashley and then there is duel over her, or the presidents from the 1800s having a wrestling match after finding out there was a black president I absolutely couldn’t stop laughing. The independent flick doesn’t try to be hipster cool or reinvent the motion picture it understands it is a very low budget flick and uses it to its advantage. Oh there isn’t much plot but when a dead John Wilkes Booth arrives to help the kids kill Lincoln it is all so wrong but right and hilarious at the same time! Presidents Day is a fucking blast and I will debate myself on whether it will make my ‘Best of 2017’ list? But until then I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #405

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Gross Movie Reviews #405

 

Territory 8 (DVD) – Depending what country you rent the film from or buy it is also known as ‘District 8’. Nope, don’t think it. The flick has nothing to do with anything as this flick was released in 2013 as nuclear waste disaster film. Some corporate/government types made an accident happen to see its results. But they were not counting on it seeping into the drinking water and soil and getting a town nearby sick. Now quarantined the town waits for the cure while a couple dudes in this top secret place try to come up with the cure. The natives get restless and raid the top secret buildings looking for blood as military won’t allow anybody to leave the area. Think the 80s film ‘Warning Sign’ but much more of a uninteresting watch. I give this piece of trash a ½ star.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two (Theater) – So Marvel sets out to prove again they can make a movie that appeals to everyone and they did! The film picks right up from the first flick where the Guardians are fighting a monster for some conceded Gold people/assholes. After Rockit steals a couple batteries a whole armada comes aiming for the heads of the Guardians. With some help by a dude on a flying egg they make their escape and set down for repairs. They are greeted by Starlord’s father aka Kurt Russell and that is where the fun begins as we learn why Starlord’s father left him. After a few great 70s songs the Guardians are back at it by saving the universe from Starlord’s father as he plans on remaking all the worlds in his own way! Once again the film is freaking hilarious but I think I still enjoy the first film just that little more as I give this fun popcorn superhero flick 4 stars. There is a couple surprises as usual but also has the fans wanting more?

 

Doctor Strange (DVD) – Now this was an intriguing superhero movie that I thought could have gone south real bad. But surprise another interesting superhero movie that will have sequels. For those who don’t know, Doctor Strange is a great doctor who looks to fix the impossible in people’s bodies. But when he is in a severe accident that destroys his hands, Strange is devastated. With his last pennies he finds himself at the butt end of the world where he meets a woman, a wizard, or something that will cure him of his ailments. Strange being stubborn but a quick learner uses his photographic mind to become a powerful person who can help the world in many ways besides using his hands for surgery again? As he learns the ways to twist our world around with great power, that dude that played Hannibal on the TV show wants to let an evil presence take over the world. Compared to a lot of the recent superhero flicks, ‘Doctor Strange’ is quick but to the point. But Marvel/Disney also prove they can reach into the barrel of secondary but interesting superheroes and give us great movies but also expand the movie universe of what’s to come? I give old Doc Strange 3 stars and here is to hope of seeing a Spider-man cameo in the next flick.

Avalanche Sharks (DVD) – Ancient spirit sharks haunt a ski mountain resort when their totem is disturbed and begin feasting on all the skiers during spring break! Of course the resort wants to keep it quiet but the local sheriff and his marine biologist wife are trying to warn the young folks of being eaten. But the resort needs the bikini contest to go off without a hitch. Yeah the movie is worse than you can imagine but the casting is what kept me interested in the flick as Erika Jordan (known for her Showtime late night porn flicks) gets bitten in half. And the other is Kate Nauta playing the marine biologist aka crazy bad ass fighting chick from ‘Transporter 2’. And if it helps, this film has no relation to ‘Snow Shark: The Ancient Beast’… I give it 1 star.

 

No Escape (DVD) – The bad ass action flick that everyone forgets about but wants to watch. A film that was released in the 90s that didn’t get much support from the studio but you were glad it existed.  The year is 2022; a giant corporation runs the penial system. Ray Liotta is a Special Forces vet who killed his superior officer ten years before because of ordering him and others to bomb women and children. The event was swept under the rug so Ray’s character went and killed him. Since then Ray’s character has spent his time breaking out of all the maximum prisons. Now he is being sent to an island where no one escapes and the prisoners are watched by satellites. Once there he must decide is he with the crazy people or the prisoners who are trying to be peaceful and make the best with what they have on the island. The film is similar to Christopher Lambert’s ‘Fortress’: action packed, great cast, and not a lot of people have seen it but they know about it! I have always been a big fan of the film just for the mere reason it stars Lance Henriksen as ‘Father’. For that I give the film 4 stars and yinz need to watch this awesome flick!

Hangar 18 (DVD/YouTube) – A film that comes off as a TV movie but was actually released to theaters in 1980 about the event of aliens that crash landed on earth and were supposedly held up in Hangar 18. Darren McGavin plays the lead official for NASA and is asked to lead a team of scientists on studying the alien ship after it was forced down by a US satellite. Meanwhile Robert Vaughn plays a hard ass dude looking out for his own ass and the president’s as its election year and this incident must be covered up. So let’s blame the two astronauts. The two astronauts aren’t having anything to do with the blame or the cover up and soon start their own investigating as they are being followed by government agents. Vaughn is just trying to get through the next two weeks of the election and no one will care any longer. But when the astronauts learn of “Hangar 18”, the government pulls out all the stops to kill them and the NASA team so no info will be leaked out. In some circles this was seen as a documentary of the event and in other circles it’s all considered crap. Either way I am sure Chris Carter had this flick on his brain when he was developing ‘The X-Files’ TV show. For that I am thankful and give this this alien flick 2 ½ stars.

 

American Exorcism (DVD/Vimeo) – Damon is a dude that seems to be a fun family man but he has a demon trapped in him that he uses to help with exorcisms with his buddy who is a reverend/priest. After helping out a guy named Dale Damon comes home shouting things at his wife as he claims “it’s not her”. After an argument with his priest friend and trying to exorcise the demon from his wife, she is shot to death. Ten years pass and it’s believed the demon has possessed the body of his daughter   as the priest friend has come looking for Damon to explain they must perform an exorcism on her at midnight of her 18th birthday. Damon struggles with this as he hasn’t been in contact with her since her mother’s death but knows the exorcism needs to be done. The movie is a classic example of good idea but poor execution. Great job of building the Damon character and his background but it goes to the pooper quickly after the character’s wife dies. No matter what I am sure the younger crowd who have become somewhat obsessed recently with these types of films will seek it out as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Master of the World (DVD) – The year is 1868 and all is well in post war Pennsylvania. That is until Vincent Price decided to build an airship inside a mountain and scare the crap out of people live nearby with all the noise and his voice. Chuck Bronson shows up to investigate and gets into a hot air balloon to check it out but is shot down. Price’s character kidnaps Bronson and others so they can witness his great unstoppable airship and what it will do to the world.  While Price’s character creates havoc all over the world Bronson and others must wait for the precise time to jump ship and sabotage the voyage! I give the 1961 film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html