Gross Movie Reviews #463

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Gross Movie Reviews #463

Blood of the Mummy (Festival screener) – This latest low budget independent flick from the talented filmmaker Christine Parker has her reaching deep into the bag of horror. The film revolves around a beautiful woman named Louise. She has had a hard life ever since she witnessed the death of her parents who were digging up the tomb of Princess Ananka in Egypt. Since then during different times in Louise’s life the Mummy that killed everyone in the tomb when she was a child shows up as a weird ass protector killing those who have wronged Louise. Now in her late 20s Louise is at a mental health home still searching for answers about the Mummy and very upset her doctor does not believe her. For years Louise has thought she was cursed but now during shock therapy she may have found a link to her curse and why? This could have been Ms. Parker’s best film to date. On the slim budget she was able to bring together a great cast, a great story, and add some unexpected gore to the ‘mummy’ genre that doesn’t do much gore. I felt like this movie should be a little grainy because of how clean it looked (it felt old school). Christine and crew didn’t waste shots and really created a story where you cared for both the mummy and the Louise character. Kudos to Ms. Parker for bringing to life a wonderful take on an old school monster as I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars. www.facebook.com/christinepparker

Lock the Door (Vimeo) – A short film that answers the question, “why you should always lock your door, home or not?” A young man leaves for work in the morning unbeknownst to him a stalker lurks by watching. When the young man comes back in the evening to relax this is when the unknown stalker chooses to attack. If only that young man remembered to lock the door he might be still with us? This latest from the talented Philip Brocklehurst who seems to be tirelessly working on projects is homage to “Halloween”. Well done sir as I give the short 3 out of 4 stars and yes I did enjoy the “Howling IV” poster and DVD collection in the background. www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

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Here is how to enter the Grossfest film contest!

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Grossfest Film Contest

Hey independent filmmakers you have a feature length film or a short film that you are thinking about sending to festivals? Well, we are looking for them for Grossfest 2019! Here are the rules:

 

First, we need a physical copy of the film to qualify.

Second, no fee for entering the film except the shipping charges you will have to pay to get the film to us.

Third, this does not guarantee the film will play at Grossfest. Why? We have a limited amount of time. Come on people it’s a one day event. Tim Gross will be picking the best feature and best short film and they will receive the Grossfest movie award. Also all films will be reviewed and show up on www.grossmoviereviews.com . Like the film or not Tim will still review it.

Fourth, all entries need to be in or postmarked by June 30, 2019. This is so proper time can be given to review the movie and decide the winners. The winners of best feature and best short film will be shown at some point between 11am – 10pm of July 20, 2019 during Grossfest. Hopefully we will have a schedule of the films playing a few weeks before Grossfest?

Any questions can be sent to grossfest@gmail.com . Or contact Tim Gross on Facebook www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews for where to send it.

Surprise Grossfest announcement!

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Surprise, surprise guess who is coming to Grossfest! He could not make it last year because of unforeseen circumstances. These things happen with conventions ‘subject to change’ but we had to make room for this cool independent person.  He is a known figure among Indy gorehounds so let’s just get to it; I introduce you to writer/director Brian Paulin! Mr. Paulin might be best known for such independent hit films “Bone Sickness”, “Fetus”, “Mummy Raider”, and “Blood Pigs” but I remember this good man when I first seen the 2000’s “At Dawn They Sleep”.  Brian’s films punch you in the face with some amazing and possibly disturbing to some folks gore effects… Brian is the founder of Morbid Vision Films and we are proud to have him at our show. For more info on Brian check out: www.morbidvisionfilms.com .

 

P.S. WE MIGHT BE SOLD OUT OF VENDOR SPACES… STAY TUNED!

WWW.GROSSFEST.COM

Gross Movie Reviews #461

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Gross Movie Reviews #461

 

Death House (DVD) – What else can you say except it stars everyone and the story was from Gunnar Hansen. After Operation: Paperclip in 1954 put together a highly secretive hidden compound that houses complete psychos. Using technology to their advantage they study and experiment on these so-called psychos for future research and to see if they can eventually weed them out of the DNA chain. Boone and Novak are two agents that were apparently chosen out of many to not only tour the facility but work closely with doctors. They will not only observe the inmate experiments they will also be a part of them. While this is all going on a kid or something like a kid eats a security officer and places something inside of him. The guard is taken to medical inside and an EMP bomb goes off shutting down everything. This will allow prisoners to come out of their fog and riot. Once it happens Kane Hodder’s character who is a neo-Nazi that cannot die uses this to his advantage to go looking for the ‘Five Evils’. These are gods or people he admires and believes will help him get back out into the real world. The two agents now must stop him and the five evils. The movie wasn’t horrible but not really good either. I enjoyed Tony Todd as usual but the movie to me felt like a lot was either left on the cutting room floor or never filmed at all? I just really believe this film could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.

Clownado (Vimeo) – I absolutely enjoy Todd Sheets and his projects and when this was announced last year it just made sense. Mr. Sheets writes and directs this twisted tale of a circus clown named Ronnie who runs the show. Ronnie and his old lady Savanna have a huge argument after Savanna is found with another man and she feels wronged by Ronnie. So leave it to Todd Sheets to come up with an idea of where Savanna has Ronnie and his clown cronies cursed! The curse is a tornado that comes from the sky and sucks them up in it. But that isn’t the end of Ronnie and friends as with Savanna on the run the supernatural force known as Clownado searches out Savanna to get their own bit of revenge. In the end it is a fight to the death between Ronnie the clown and his woman Savanna where along the way: we get some clown boobs, a good amount of gore, and my favorite part of the film an Elvis impersonator played by the talented Antwoine Steele! Mr. Sheets you had me at “Clownado”… but I would love to see Elvis vs. the Clownado in the sequel as I give this low budget clownfest 3 out of 4 stars.

 

To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story (On Demand) – Kane Hodder goes through his life from everything to being bullied as a kid to what happened to him being Jason in the “Freddy vs. Jason” film. The biggest thing to take away from this documentary is Kane Hodder is one awesome dude but he finally sets the record straight about his burns. Kane goes into great horrific detail of what actually happen in 1977 and almost destroyed his career and him before it ever got started. Kane gets my respect and you don’t have to be a fan to enjoy this documentary about him as I give it 4 stars.

 

Stranger Things: Season Two (Blu-ray) – There isn’t a whole lot I can say about this that you haven’t heard already. The group moves on a year later after the disappearance of ‘Eleven’ and their friend returning from the alternate dimension. You will enjoy how they not only expand the universe of the kids, but the sheriff, the government how they are continuing the experiments that may take over the town. A really well written and entertaining show that I haven’t been this excited since the “X-files” TV show as I give it 4 stars.

 

Star 80 (DVD) – Based on a true story, Eric Roberts plays the sleazy character Paul Snider who finds a young and beautiful Dorothy Stratten in a Dairy Queen. She eventually becomes a “Playmate of the Year” and Paul gets jealous, murders her then commits suicide. This was based on all the things Paul used Dorothy’s name to get ahead in life while she was just enjoying being a model. Apparently Paul couldn’t take her fame and completely broke down. I give the flick about the dark side of being a celebrity 3 stars.

 

Slenderman (DVD) – Not totally sure why I watched the film based on an internet supernatural story. I believe the true story of the two girls trying to kill their friend for Slenderman was much more interesting than this. A group of teenage girls dare each other to watch the Slenderman video. When they do just like “The Ring” it comes to claim their lives or just haunt them until they take their lives. Anyway I know the film was literally only made for 12 to 16 year olds but how does Slenderman know how to use an iPhone to film his victims? Looking for answers as I give it 1 star.

 

Granny of the Dead (DVD) – A low-budget zombie film from Wales (UK) where grandparents are the cause a zombie epidemic. A shadow hand in a church kills an old lady and she becomes a zombie. Ed and friends are just trying to survive the onslaught of Granny zombies. The film has its funny moments but is mainly for the hardcore zombie fans. If you are just a casual horror fan you may just want to skip this one as I give 2 stars.

 

Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (Shudder) – A wonderful documentary that takes a look at how and why African-American roles in horror movies have changed so much. Lots of interviews from known actors and actresses that include Ken Foree and Tony Todd. They tackle the whole ‘blackface’ genre of the 30s and 40s to underground horror movies from African-American directors, to how African-Americans completely disappeared during the 50s and 60s in horror movies to Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Really cool stuff that was unknown to me about the cinema but makes me enjoy my time talking to Tony Todd about his role as ‘Candyman’ but also as Ben in ‘NOTLD90’. All horror fans should make sure they watch this as I give it 4 stars.

 

Threads (DVD) – Just like the U.S. TV movie “The Day After” that dealt with the threat of nuclear war “Threads” centers itself on a town Sheffield, England and follows a few characters. Instead of the view point of the nuclear bombs hitting the U.S. and Russia this is more of the depressing viewpoint of a place not involved. Where they suffer from the fallout just as much as anyone else if some dumb asses try to hit the red reset button. Another brutal look at what could happen even though the film was portraying what could happen in 1984 and its long term effects. I give the film 4 stars and remember we might now be just as close as we ever been to this happening?

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #460

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Gross Movie Reviews #460

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (On Demand) – This is film is an absolute godsend from Scotland that smartly blends “High School Musical” and zombies in a fun and exciting way. Anna Shepard is going to be graduating soon and unlike her best friend who is going off to college she wants to travel. Of course her father isn’t all to happy and all Anna wants to do is get people out of ‘Thunder Balls’ bowling alley sooner than later. Anna and friends not caring or not paying attention to the rest of the world as a strange virus has struck all the major cities and turning people into zombies. Once a lot of singing about their lives is done in the first 30 minutes of the film the group of friends are faced with the end of the world. The end of the world is bloody and brutal but don’t let this film fool you as certain characters die off when you are not expecting. I absolutely loved the flow of the horror musical and how it is presented. Good chance this will show up my ‘Best of 2019’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Car: Road to Revenge (DVD) – Yes folks it is a sequel to the evil classic of the late 70s. But that is where it ends as I may have found the ‘worst movie of 2019’ already! After a district attorney dies on top of his new ‘Lazarus One’ it appears the car comes to life and has his personality. It begins murdering all involved… Boring piece of monkey shit needs to vaporized from any studio catalog or movie fan’s as I give it zero stars. And for the person who thought somewhere this was a good idea do me and all movie lovers a favor and quit your job… NOW!

Hexercise (Blu-ray/DVD) – So you claim you have seen everything? I bet you haven’t as a very talented Matt Cannon did a perfect job of bringing to life this homage to ‘aerobic horror movies’ from the late 80s. In August of 1969 a blood ritual is performed where the aerobics studio stands but it is stopped before completion. Twenty years pass and now there is a workout studio existing where a cute aerobics instructor named Kelly pricks her finger with her name tag. She bleeds on her boom box and floor and like black magic the ritual is back on! With this act Kelly has unleashed a demonic presence that is trying to kill all who work or attend the aerobics studio, including Kelly’s rapey boss. Everything is right about this film: the outfits, what I believe is a Commodore 64, lava lamp, T.V. and even the music makes this short film feel right. The twist on this homage is there is no dialogue as the actions of the characters tell the story. The film is in the same vein as the mid-2000s short film “The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy” and to me that is freakin awesome! I got to thank Matt Cannon for giving us horror freaks something we didn’t know we needed as I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on the film check out: www.facebook.com/Hexerciseordie .

 

Cold Skin (Shudder) – A way cool weirdo creature feature involving lighthouse keepers in the early 1900s. A young lad arrives to an island to relive a crackpot named Gruener. Gruener refuses to leave and wants to stay no matter what anyone says. But as the first nightfall begins the young lad soon understands Gruener isn’t a crackpot as some weird creatures come from the sea to land. Now homeless the young lad shacks up with Gruener learning secrets about the creatures and Gruener. A weird and twisted creature feature about the two lead characters coping with whether the creatures are there to cause harm or in the end actually live in peace. An amazing story that starts slow but grips you by the privates as it unfolds as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (DVD) – An early funky 70s flick about Dracula where the authorities believe some of the prominent members of the community are part of a secret cult. When they begin investigating and get old Van Helsing they soon understand that Dracula is back and behind everything. But this isn’t Dracula’s old routine of wanting more vamps or some other non-sense. Dracula has scientists, biologists, etc. working on virus that is worse the ‘black plague’ something that would end the world including himself. Interesting plot twist this time around as it involves Van Helsing trying to lure Dracula to his death in some jaggerbushes! Yes they are real and I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Giant Spider Invasion (DVD) – Some strange occurrences have happened in the sky over a small Wisconsin town that has a couple scientists baffled. While they investigate what this event is all about apparently flesh-eating spiders of all sizes begin to invade the town for lunch! The scientists find a mini-black hole on the Kester farm and must act fast to close it or these spiders will grow in numbers. Some incest and some large ass spiders make it worth the watch but you have to fight through some very dull parts of the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullied (DVD/YouTube) – A short film from a brilliant Nick Charles where a girl is bullied. The girl does the right thing and tells an adult about it but when it is ignored the little girl takes things into her own hands. A well said statement short film Mr. Charles as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

A Cold Night’s Death (YouTube) – An oddly familiar 1973 TV movie starring Eli Wallach and Robert Culp who play scientists that head to the Tower Mountain Research Center after losing contact with Dr. Vogel. It has been five days since they last heard from him and their research on monkeys is needed for space travel. The two soon find a dead Dr. Vogel and continue his work in order to finish the project in time. But some haunting things begin to happen as the days go by and it has been relayed to them that Dr. Vogel did not die of a heart attack but just mere exposure to the cold in a locked room with no one else. As the two keep fighting amongst themselves the answer is right in front of them but they figure it out to late. A fun flick to watch during a cold winter night as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Wars (DVD) – A 2015 post-apocalyptic flick from Asylum Entertainment that starts off wonderful involving a man who shows up in the wasteland with no memory. It is explained the world has gone to shit because of a virus that turns people into vamp-like zombie creatures. The virus acts like rabies of sorts that make them thirst for blood and stay out of the daylight. After the no-name man is taken in by a small group of survivors they make the decision to travel somewhere that a vaccine could be made or least tried. Problem is as I explain it sounds like a fun B-flick but it terribly falls apart as it is all over the place plot wise. Instead of trying to be its own movie it chooses to steal from several post-apocalyptic films and never fully committing to one storyline. Thus causing what could have been a fun B-flick to watch to a dog turd you wish would dry up and wish you never knew it existed as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

New Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episode is up!

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On this week’s episode we got heists, cannibalistic forefathers, velpcaraptors in Vietnam, command ninjas, and jort sportin’ super Mario’s as we cover COMMAND NINJA, THE WASHINGTONIANS, and DEN OF THIEVES.   We also chat about what we’ve been watching this week, answer your listener questions, and go through all the news that’s fit to print.  We also fall down a Danny Trejo based wormhole looking for pig people movies.  Do we come back?  Who cares!  So download this episode of Fiddy will fuck with your daughter’s prom date.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

New guest announcement for Grossfest 2019

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Guest announcement: He is one of the most multi-talented independent filmmakers you could ever meet. He has his own website that streams and available for purchase his films and music called, “Henflix”. He has acted in over 30 films and has directed two dozen films. You name it; he has done it in front of the camera and behind it and does not stick to one genre. Depression: The Movie, Babysitter Massacre, Calamity Jane’s Revenge are a few of his notable films. I could write pages on how cool this once a generation talent is but how about you come on down to Grossfest this July 20th and meet him yourself. I introduce you to the one and only Henrique Couto!
www.facebook.com/henriquecouto
www.grossfest.com

Gross Movie Reviews #459

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Gross Movie Reviews #459

 

Superstition (DVD) – In 1692, a witch is burned at the stake but before she dies she of course curses all involved and their families. Now in 1982, a family looking for a fresh start moves into a long empty house that has some history of people dying over the years. Never mind an old retired priest allows them to move in knowing the possibility of death and that the swimming pond out back was placed there to keep the evil witch at bay. Which by the way the pond doesn’t work that well. The neighbor warns them of the strange stuff and the weirdo son of course is the suspect the police are looking for. But who cares a crazy buzz saw flies into the chest of another priest who hoped the curse was gone! If you were a person that frequent the video stores in the 80s good chance you seen the VHS box at one point. The film not great but not horrible either as it is a reminder of movies you never heard of and would take a chance on renting them in the 80s. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Superstition 2 (YouTube) – The Italian sequel was released in 1989 and was mostly known under the title “Witch Story”. It has very little to do with the first film other than a witch cursing everyone and a cross that can fend the witch off. A brother and sister take their college friends to an abandoned home they inherited and has some bad history. Even though this film involves a witch it has more of a demon flick tone as demons possess some of the young people and turn them on each other. If there is one reason to watch this it is for the bad ass scene involving a dude in a pond about to get a chainsaw to the skull from his possessed girlfriend! I give the sequel 2 stars but in the end don’t make a whole of sense.

 

Lady Avenger (VHS) – David DeCoteau directs, Michelle Bauer shows up topless at least three times, and William Butler plays the boyfriend of Maggie our “Lady Avenger”. The woman that plays Maggie also goes on about a year or so later to be in Playboy. Anyway Maggie has just got out of the big house to go to her brother’s funeral. Pissed off and wanting answers she breaks away from her protective custody to get to the boatyard to ask questions. After kicking three dudes ass and gets away from them in a fiery car chase she bangs her boyfriend and gets back on the case. As she begins to piece things together of all involved she realizes the people she wants revenge against are much closer to her than she thinks. This of course ups the level of wanting revenge where she goes all Robert “The Exterminator” Ginty with a flamethrower. A fun C-grade action flick that was a direct-to-video back in 1988 as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

A Bay of Blood (DVD) – A 1971 Mario Bava film that has many death scenes stolen by the “Friday the 13th” films whether horror fans admit it or not.  Because of an older woman unwilling to sell her beautiful land and we get some fast and furious murders. The movie begins with two murders. One is the older woman who is made to look like a suicide. Then who killed her is then killed by an unknown person and his body is made to disappear so no one can find it. A wonderful film of double crosses with an excellent ending. For one reason or another Bava has never been in my wheelhouse so I am not a fan nor a hater but willing to check out his films when I come across them. I give it 2 ½ stars.

Death Kiss (On Demand) – So are you a fan of Chuck Bronson and the “Death Wish” films then you will enjoy bootleg Bronson in this low budget homage to those films. We meet a DJ played by Daniel Baldwin who just rages against the city police for not doing their job. That maybe a vigilante is needed? In comes bootleg Chuck Bronson who doesn’t use many words but has many uses for hand guns to bring down criminals. He steals the money from the criminals he brings down and hands it off to a single mother of a little girl in a wheelchair. Thinking she is charity and needs to pay bootleg Chuck backed she tries her best to find out more about him. But bootleg Bronson has his reasons and keeps them at arm’s length. The movie is absolutely a lot of nostalgia and fun. The movie isn’t perfect but a wonderful gift for us Bronson fans to fill the void as I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Horseman (On Demand) – A hidden low budget gem from Australia about a 44-year old father who has just lost his daughter under suspicious circumstances. The father is sent a porn video that stars his daughter who was used by four men and was under the influence of heavy drugs. After seeing this it sends the man into a primal rage to seek out all involved, torture them horribly, and end their lives for what they did to his daughter. As he travels on the highway on his quest he picks up a hitchhiking teenager named Alice. Alice and the man become friends on the road but she knows nothing of his quest for revenge. The story is gritty, screwed up, and this dude has a thing about fucking up people’s dicks! This is literally one bad ass air pump to the penis as I give it 3 ½ stars and yes the father uses a tire pump!

 

Halloween: The Panhandle Massacre (YouTube) – A not-for-profit fan film written and directed by Dean Thomas stars David Dietz as Dr. Loomis’ grandson who oversees Michael Myers. Myers has broken out again and is loose near the Panhandle Trail in Pittsburgh back on his murder spree. Authorities have no clue what to do but Dr. Loomis is there to help guide detectives in the capture or killing of Myers to stop the unstoppable killer again. Well-acted and well produced music for the fan made film makes it one of the better “Halloween” fan made features I have seen over the years as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babes in Psycho Land (DVD) – Two of my favorite filmmakers are back as the feature is directed by the intelligent David Silvio and produced and written by his equally talented wife Diana Silvio. The film is a simple story about Mary trying to reopen her home for foster kids and Andy trying to deal with his bizarre issues. Apparently some time ago Andy’s twin Alex and a girl named Jenny that Andy had a crush on were killed. So anytime Andy comes in contact with a female like Officer Piper Paisley, he believes it is Jenny and swears he won’t hurt her. But it always ends horribly wrong and as Officer Paisley gets pulled into this bizarre world of Mary, Andy, and the foster home she begins to enjoy it too much. Andy finding females again Mary, head of the house is not at all happy but Mary has her own bizarre issues as she is told she may not reopen. The movie rides the edge of sanity really well as it brings you into a bizarre world of you are not sure who the actual victim is and gives you that wonderful uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Kiss of Death Productions once again makes a film that cannot be classified but is must-see independent film that is a cut above most. The whole cast plays their roles perfectly including those of Jack and Cassandra at the end of the film. The Silvios don’t make films for everyone but they do make films for people who are looking for something different and interesting every time out. I give this cringe-worthy movie 3 ½ out 4 stars.

 

Warrior of the Lost World (VHS) – Robert Ginty is a man who rides his super cycle through the Wasteland that might be the only hope for what’s left of mankind. As he rides he is chased by a brutal police force of the ‘Omega’ where he is forced to drive into a wall of rock. Lucky for ‘the rider’ aka Robert Ginty he is pure or at least according to Fred Williamson and ‘the elders’. He has been chosen to help infiltrate the ‘omega’ and help a man escape who is being tortured by the leader Donald freakin Pleasence! Sounds fun, has a great cast, a talking motorcycle, but somehow doesn’t translate into cinema gold? David Worth who is also known for giving us “Shark Attack 2 & 3”, “Kickboxer”, and “Hazard Jack” didn’t seem to have much to work with in Italy but did his best. I give this flick 2 stars as the cast outshines the hokey film.

 

The Park is Mine (YouTube) – Totally forgot how good this film is starring Tommy Lee Jones as a Vietnam vet Mitch who has lost a friend recently. The friend’s dying wish is for Mitch to use his plan to take over Central Park for a few days till Veteran’s Day. His hope is people will take notice and appreciate what these vets did and stop being mistreated. So Mitch goes ahead with the plan unsure if it would work but it does. He asks the commissioner to give him 72 hours to keep the park empty. That is all well and good until the deputy mayor gets involved and things begin to get messy. All the deputy mayor wants is Mitch to die and go away especially when he sends in two mercs to take him down. But meanwhile a reporter with a camera gets in the park and gets to videotape what Mitch is trying to do. I give this film 3 ½ stars and its message of how Vietnam vets were forgotten and mistreated is still relevant today.

 

The House That Would Not Die (DVD/YouTube) – A 1970 TV movie where Ruth and Sara inherit a home that was built in the late 1700s. Apparently Ruth’s cousin took a liking to Ruth when she was young and left the house to her. But the old Campbell house has a haunting history and strange things begin to happen to Sara after a fun séance is done and a spirit enters Sara. The problem is restless spirits live beyond a fake wall in the basement that seeks answers for their peaceful death slumber. A very PG-rated paranormal film is the best thing I can say about the old TV movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

TERROR FILMS has teamed up with CYFUNO VENTURES to release some cool stuff!

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Los Angeles, CA – (Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019) – TERROR FILMS has teamed up with CYFUNO VENTURES to release: AFTER DARK, HELL TOWN, ASYLUM THE LOST TAPES and DON’T F*CK IN THE WOODS internationally. These films will appear on: Amazon Prime, Google Play and iFlix; the launch begins this Tuesday, January 29th.

The films, all of which have been released domestically by various distributors, will now be available digitally in multiple countries including: the U.K., Ireland, Asia, Africa and many others.

From Scream Queens to Killer Creatures, Scary-ass Ghosts and Dumb Twenty-Somethings putting themselves in deadly situations, there’s something for everyone in these titles. TERROR FILMS is sharing a promotional sizzle reel (found below) and banner created just for the international release. You can learn more about the films here.

The Official Sizzle Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIXGPAQ2c2o

 

 

 

AFTER DARK – Spring break for seven college students is derailed after a flat tire leaves them deserted on a dark road and stranded with a menacing drifter.

HELL TOWN – From award-winning directors Steve Balderson and Elizabeth Spear and Scream Queen Debbie Rochon comes this special feature presentation comprised of three episodes from the never before released prime-time, melodramatic whodunnit, horror-comedy series.

ASYLUM THE LOST FOOTAGE – A group of amateur ghost hunters go missing after they journey into the bowels of an abandoned Insane Asylum, in a search for evidence of paranormal activity. Video cards, salvaged from the building, reveal the tragic fate of the missing ghost hunters.

DON’T F*CK IN THE WOODS – A group of friends, on a camping trip to celebrate graduating college, soon find their good times ruined when they viciously attacked by a mysterious creature.

To Learn More About Terror Films visit: http://www.terrorfilms.net

Or: https://www.facebook.com/TerrorFilmsLLC

More on Cyfuno Ventures visit: https://www.cyfuno.com

Gross Movie Reviews #458

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Gross Movie Reviews #458

 

The Happytime Murders (On Demand) – In a world where puppets and humans exist together a private eye who happens to be a puppet and a former cop gets a case from a sexy young lady puppet. The case isn’t open and shut as he likes as someone is killing all the puppets involved with a very popular kids show from the 90s. The private eye finds himself soon teamed up with his ex-partner, a human trying to solve the mystery of who is the killer? Lots of adult humor, the puppets looked great, and a cool buddy cop flick of sorts. This wasn’t as much as “Meet the Feebles” as I thought it would be so good for them. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it but worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Upgrade (On Demand) – This should have been the “Robocop” remake! A mechanic named Grey rebuilds a classic Trans-Am in the near future for a super-rich computer whiz. After Grey and his wife begin driving home from dropping the car off they are in a bad car accident and his wife is killed by some thugs. Grey is paralyzed, but is given the chance to try an experimental computer chip that should restore all feeling back to his limbs and help him move again. Grey agrees and has implanted into his spine and STEM the computer chip almost works immediately. But Stem also thinks and talks for itself and decides to start talking Grey and help him find his wife’s killers. Grey unsure at first slowly allows STEM to show him he is quicker, smarter, better now. Grey uses his paralyzed status to track down all involved without being detected as a suspect. Once Grey goes down this wormhole with STEM there is very cool twists in the plot that make the movie a must rewatch several times. Plus I believe the plot hits on a nerve of this not too distant future could be very real sooner than we think? This action flick is absolutely amazing as I give it 4 stars.

 

Hotel Artemis (On Demand) – A weirdo flick set in the not so distant future of 2028 where Jodie Foster is a manager/doctor to a hotel or safe house for criminals. Criminals pay big bucks for these certain safe houses all over the world if by some chance they are injured in some way. If you do not have a membership you are thrown out on your ass. Foster’s character is a shut-in who has lots of anxiety and hasn’t the outside world in a couple decades. But it all goes to shit when the big boss comes to be fixed up and there is an assassin there inside the hotel to take him out. This flick is one of those check your brain at the door and just enjoy the entertainment. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

You Might be the Killer (DVD) – This is one those slasher flicks that doesn’t overthink the plot and just has a lot of fun with what it is. Sam is a good dude who once a year takes time away from his business and goes off the grid for a weekend. He goes to a camp with a bunch of friends and just has wholesome camp fun. But a big problem arises when he is calling his best friend Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) because he believes a psycho killer has killed all the campers and now is stalking him? They go through all the movie clichés until Sam remembers at some point the story about a cursed mask being at a dead tree was actually real and he put the mask on. When he has the mask on he is an unstoppable killer who slaughters his friends in many brutal ways. When the mask is off he doesn’t recall anything and believes he is being stalked also. I loved watching this bloody flick that never took itself serious and delivered the goods on just being a fun horror flick to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Commando Ninja (YouTube) – This absolute 4 star gem is from the mind Ben Combes. Ben decided to kickstart his love letter of a movie to 80s action movie genre. This film combines at least 20 different action film ideas into one movie. The film begins with a flashback of 1968 Vietnam where a recon team led by John Hunter is ambushed by ninjas with Predator vision. Then the story flashes forward to 1986 where John Hunter is approached by an old Green Beret vet to let him know the evil ninjas are back and John’s daughter gets kidnapped by these evil creatures. From there it flashes back and forth between 1968 and 1986 showing where John got his ninja training and how he tracks down the evil ninjas that took his daughter. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous he has to time travel to the future in 1998 to get her back. Before I forget there are also dinosaurs and cyborgs in this film and the Trans-am in 1998 like the one in “Smokey in the Bandit”. This is a must own for any 80s action film lover as it leaves no stone unturned bringing its brilliant story to life. I give this project 4 stars and a front runner for one of the best films I have watched in 2019.

 

Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend (DVD) – The film opens of course stating that it was based on true events. Sheriff Bailey has a situation on her hands as bodies are piling up in the woods and news wants to know what is going on. So she calls in the only local Federal Bigfoot Investigator she knows to help her track it down and stop it. But a former child star Jimmy Johnson of ‘Kung-fu Kid’ has plans of his own of going into the woods and challenging Bigfoot to a fight and getting it on film. Thus the event should thrust him back into Hollywood stardom. A hilarious but bad film about a Bigfoot that growls like a poodle when attacking and I am damn glad to own it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. More info on the film can be found at www.gatorbladefilms.com .

 

Project: Eugenics (DVD) – A bad end of the world zombie film with not many zombies and is to be continued at the end of the film. The premise is a corporation called Eugenics wants to experiment on millions of citizens to see if a zombie vaccine works and they get all the profit. I give it 1 star.

 

Over the Edge (DVD) – A 1979 film that was based on a true event involving unruly teenagers and a Midwest community in the mid-70s. With the cities becoming overrun with crime and drugs, many families began to move out to rural areas where communities where were being built for people trying to escape the city life. Or what would become known eventually as the suburbs. This community of New Granada is supposed to be a wonderful place for families but a lot of their population is teenagers with nothing to do except for one rec center for entertainment. When a piece of land is no longer going to be a drive-in and bowling alley and going to have office space built on it the young people get upset. On top of that a rogue cop closes down the rec center soon things get out of control between the young people, the adults, and the cop. The film is watchable and stars a young Matt Dillon but doesn’t really have a character you really connect or root for. There are several other films of the early 80s that make this formula work better on film as I give the cautious tale of “Parents talk to your kids” 2 stars.

 

Den of Thieves (On Demand) – A wild action/crime flick where a crew of bank robbers try to pull off one of the biggest heists of the century and must deal with a L.A. sheriff that doesn’t always play by the rules. The crew is led by a man named Merrimen who been imprisoned for the past decade and use that time to plan a heist at the Federal Bank Reserve. Meanwhile the sheriff played by Gerard Butler knows Merrimen has something planned but always seems to be one step behind. A way better heist flick than you would ever believe so give it a chance as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Category III: The Untold Story of Hong Kong Exploitation (DVD) – A wonderful documentary documenting how this rating came in existence in Hong Kong cinema and how it has changed after 1997. A good bit of Hong Kong’s popular films took advantage of this rating and produced some of the greatest over the top films the world ever seen. Its peak existence was between the years 1988-1997 and they explained what led to the rating being made and what happened to Hong Kong cinema after China took control again in 1997. Very interesting stories behind Hong Kong cinema and some of the titles I have watched or heard over the years while searching for movies in video stores. I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD) – The title says it all as there really isn’t much to the plot except nuns being made to make drugs for bikers who work for the Catholic Church. Then the drugs are sold everywhere. When Sister Sarah is pimped out and pumped full of drugs she is saved by a so-called witch doctor. Sister Sarah in the drugged out dreamland receives a message from god to kill all that are involved with the drug trade. So becomes the nun vigilante that cannot be stopped as she massacres everyone for what they did to her. Fun B-movie crap that has big boobs, bullets, and lots of blood as I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019