Gross Movie Reviews #420

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Gross Movie Reviews #420

 

Bonehill Road (Vimeo) – Todd Mother F’N Sheets reaches into the depths of his mind and pulls out this latest project of an old school werewolf film. The film centers on a mother and daughter who are escaping an abusive relationship. On the road to grandpa’s house they meet a creepy dude at a rest stop (which I believe happens to all of us at least once) and believe they just narrowly missed hitting a bear? Shortly after the narrow miss a tire blows out and they hit a tree. The women take a few to get their senses and try to figure out what they should do but that so-called bear comes back to haunt them or I should say werewolf. On the run the ladies find a house but their luck is worse than they think when creepy dude from rest stop is the owner and has his own serial killer thing going on. These women have already been battle tested and know what is outside is worse than inside. Once the madman is dispatched in a rather gruesome manner its back to figuring out how to fight off these werewolves who are trying to break their way into the home. I absolutely enjoyed this werewolf flick. I would compare to Todd’s film to another werewolf flick “Wolfen” or “Bad Moon”. Mr. Sheets went for a more story driven werewolf flick and when it pays off it more than pays off with a scene in the kitchen. While a woman recently bitten transforms another not one but two werewolves shot in 100% light wander into the kitchen and it is a beautiful thing. Most independent werewolf films have to hide their monster. Hell most mainstream flicks do the same but Todd Sheets made sure you got the money shot and more with this scene. Todd absolutely delivered on a giving horror fans an entertaining treat of a werewolf film. And yes horror fans the film is a little slow but again the film is more story driven than gore driven but you will get your blood, guts, and cannibalism! A couple other cool tidbits to the film are the end credits scene with fake Gene Simmons again and they have a “stunt werewolf” thanks to Mr. Steele. Todd Mother F’N Sheets did again and I think fans will be pleased with his old school werewolf flick as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Fistful of Undead (Vimeo) – A short film from Todd Mother F’N Sheets that is about a cowboy fighting the undead. No dialogue, zombies, a bad ass cowboy… sometimes it is just that simple as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Knock Knock (On Demand) – No folks this isn’t that terrible Keanu Reeves movie we all lured into watching last year. This film is something much better! 2012 “Dorm of the Dead’s” Toby Canto makes his return back to the independent horror genre with this great gem. A story of misfits living in an apartment complex. An old boxer named “Stonefist” Sam is turning 60 today. Not the most pleasant person returns home to his weirdo neighbor Oliva hanging out in his apartment complaining about a vampire living across the hall. She can’t make her mind up if its Dracula or just a hot vampire living next door as she has been watching him worried he will kill her. As Sam tries to calm her down another weirdo neighbor Dragon busts in with his bag of goodies to kill the vampire and blurts out this great quote “Fucking Draculas Bro”! He also has stories of Dracula living next door including ripping his “Missing in Action” poster off of his front door. Once Gretchen stops by the scene is set as Oliva stole a package that was left for the vampire. As the four argue the vamp knocks on Sam’s door to nicely get the package but that goes horribly wrong when he was already invited to an apartment complex party. Sam doesn’t believe the neighbor is a vamp until the vamp tries to bring hell down on the four and Sam shows why he was nicknamed “Stonefist”. After they beaten the vamp down and tie him up they warn him to just be a good neighbor or leave? The credits role and we all find out the vamp has friends as a war takes place in the apartment. Smart production, hilarious script and characters, and the actors were down right fucking awesome and perfect for these parts! This flick had me laughing my balls off the whole time watching it. Toby I hope all of us horror fans get to see more projects from you as this is one of the best independent horror projects I have seen in 2017. I give this flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out Pop Art Pictures Facebook page for more details on the film.

 

Brides of Dracula (DVD) – Peter Cushing as Van Helsing returns to Transylvania to kick some vampire ass. A vamp is turning the village’s beautiful women into his brides and Van Helsing refuses to allow this crap to go down. A great buildup ending in this movie as the vampire believes he has killed Van Helsing by biting him but Van Helsing cures himself in a cool legendary manner. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Never Knock (SyFy Channel/DVD) – To set the scene it is Halloween 1986 and some kids go up to 59 Oakwood Lane to knock on the door of a supposedly haunted house. A kid’s hand begins to bleed on the door of the home and a dark force opens the door and kills the kids. But also when police officers arrive on scene they find “Never Never Knock” carved into the one body. So over the next thirty years kids in the small neighborhood go up and knock on the door every Halloween to scare each other. Meanwhile the murders go unsolved and become a thing of legend. Present day Jenna and friends go to the house and little sister Jenna knocks on the door, creature appears, and Jenna disappears. The friends look for Jenna as this sinister creature connected to this door of the home makes the friends see things that are not there until it kills them. Wasn’t overly impressed with the flick and left me asking why didn’t the city or neighborhood destroy this house to rid the town of the memories? Or who was taking care of this place for thirty years? I believe these questions would have made this a much shorter and more watchable movie for all of us as I give it 1 star.

 

Stickman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A girl’s night terror or nightmare comes to life and kills and eventually sends her to an asylum for troubled kids. She spends several years there trying to get over this issue as her sister and mother were plagued by this issue after her sister read a poem about the “Stickman”. She is now about to turn 18 and has made it to a halfway house but her night terror has come back and is out in real world killing everyone. She must break into the asylum to find answers. The concept of the film is interesting but feels like it wasn’t completely executed properly? This flick was a little more bearable than some of the other recent SyFy Channel Halloween flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Jeeper Creepers 3 (On Demand) – Holy fart knocker did yinz screw this shit up! Okay folks never mind the creeper behind the camera directing the film let’s just talk this horrible film. This sequel is everything you didn’t want to be. Now, I was never a huge fan of this series but found the demonic creature “The Creeper” interesting. Apparently this takes place in between films one and two and people are out in force hunting this creature before he goes back to sleep. Wait… wait… wait… What? Where in the fuck is Ray Wise’s character fuckheads! Anyway, now the Creeper is able to hunt during the day, killing at will. The creeper also kidnaps a young teenager and his truck is impervious to everything and oh yeah it now has “Boobie traps”! The movie seems incoherent at times like Tim Gross and Daniel Boyd were drunk and wandered on set and started filming. But seriously folks I love character actors such as Stan Shaw, Meg Foster, and Gina Philips, but guys yinz should have sat this project out. I believe the biggest issue for me but all horror fans especially fans of this series is there was so much you could have done with this character? This character oozes a franchise and several years later we get this crap. Let’s call this what it is “CRAP”. I see crap and I give it crap so if you haven’t seen it yet? Don’t and thank me later.

 

Wake Up (YouTube) – A pretty different and maybe artsy short film that deals with a man who keeps writing “Awake or Alive”. The man is going insane or already there and not totally sure what is real? Cool stuff from Running Director Productions can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

StatACHE (YouTube) – A quite bizarre short film where a strange man with a bag on his head has a relationship with his television. A short film that mess with your mind thinking about it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions .

 

The Last Room (YouTube) – A short film more up my alley as the apocalypse has happened and a man is trying to tell the story before he goes completely bonkers! First, people’s minds went, and then people were offering themselves to the flames or mass suicide I am guessing. Then all the utilities went! Now, Kameron haunted by his own visions after cannibalism wants there to be a record of what happened to humanity. Dark, deep thinking, rough… would like to see this fleshed out more as I give 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/RunningDirectorProductions .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

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Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Yes, I have too!

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“Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film”

Hello fellow horror and independent film fans! Yinz ever wanted to help out on a Todd Sheets flick? Motherfucking YES! Well here’s your chance…

Mr. Sheets is one of the best independent filmmakers over the past 25 years and he is looking for some help or funds for more werewolves. And of course we all need more motherfucking bad ass looking werewolves in movies! So jump on this and be a part of something really cool.

Bonehill Road – Old school werewolf film

Todd Sheets – This is my DREAM PROJECT! My favorite movie monsters have always been WEREWOLVES!!! And I have been so disappointed that there seem to be no true, old school, American made werewolf movies coming out these days that capture the spirit of movies like The Howling, An American Werewolf In London or Dog Soldiers. I want to make fans of those movies proud!!! My goal is to make a classic monster movie for our time!!!

Bonehill Road is a werewolf film, using all PRACTICAL EFFECTS in a truly exciting story!!!!

CLICK THE LINK: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/bonehill-road-old-school-werewolf-film-horror#/

TODD MOTHERFUCKING SHEETS!!!

Other Ways You Can Help

Some people just can’t contribute, I understand financial harships, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help:

  • Make some noise about this film and this funding campaign.
  • Please feel free to use all the awesome Indiegogo share tools!
  • If you cannot give money but you do Special Makeup Effects, contribute your skills!!!
  • Are you an artist who has Werewolf parts laying around?  Donate them!!!!  We need several different types of Werewolves!!!  Have a werewolf head that you made?  We’d love to use it for the film!!!  Especially articulated heads with moving jaws and such!

Lets make some Monsters come to LIFE!!!!!

Gross Movie Reviews #313

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Gross Movie Reviews #313

 

By Tim Gross

 

Homesick (DVD) – An independent film that was released through Synapse Films that stars the very talented Tiffany Shepis, Bill Moseley, and Tom Towles. Friends at a party one night are visited by a strange man or should I say razor salesman who holds Shepis hostage while he asks questions and cuts himself with razors that were in his suitcase. The questions result in who you want to die? Well after the salesman/Bill Moseley leaves, the friends begin dying one by one and not sure how to stop the killing spree. There is a good amount of gore and a couple uncomfortable scenes for the horror newbies but overall the film was kinda blah and may have be better off with less acting talent and using the money for other things to help the film. I give the movie 2 stars.

 

Fall Down Dead (DVD) – The great Udo Kier plays a serial killer named The Picasso Killer who is chasing his perfect victim on Christmas Eve. If that wasn’t enough David Carradine is thrown in as a security guard and a victim of The Picasso Killer. The script is not great but with the presence of Udo Kier and some awesome gore effects and kept me interested long enough to watch the whole film and give it 2 ½ stars.

swamphead_1

Swamphead (DVD) – It is the mysterious independent screener that was found behind my computer with an email address and no one claiming of giving it to me to review. The film is from Rabid Child Films and is about a man a thousand years ago named Robert Gross (awesome) whose head is separated from his body during a bloody battle and apparently haunts the local Wisconsin woods. Well Gross’s head is pissed off, giving rednecks with a broken arm head in a hot tub, and back to killing local folk. But it’s all up to a paranormal expert, a retard, and three high school kids to stop Swamphead. The independent film is not great by any means but I was entertained by the flying robot and the giant bloodbath. I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Eastern Condors (DVD) – A film from the mid-80s which is along the lines of an international Rambo and Rambo 2 and a better looking Delta Force film starring and directed by Sammo Hung. Two Asian officers are hired by the U.S. government for a super-secret mission where they recruit 10 prisoners with nothing to lose and everything to gain (U.S. citizenship and $200,000) where they would parachute into Vietnam and destroy a secret stash of weapons that the U.S. left when the military pulled out in 1974-1975. What makes the film even more interesting is right before the captain of the mission is about to jump he is told that the mission has been aborted which places an extra spin on this unbelievable action film. This film completely blows away any “Delta Force” flick. This film beginning to end is overflowing with great eye-popping fight scenes and is another example of why I need to find more international films to watch and review! I give the film 4 stars.

 

Absolute Power (DVD) – Another great Clint Eastwood flick that has him playing a thief who is blamed for the death of a rich woman who was having an affair with the President of the United States and is married to the president’s best friend. Eastwood’s character sees everything and escapes when the secret service is trying to cover it up as a burglary gone wrong. Eastwood on the run has been doing this for a long time and knows he needs to disappear far away until the president holds a press conference showing his ignorance to the event and decides he is gonna return the stolen money and jewelry and bring down the president and the people who covered it up. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Frozen Ground (DVD) – A film based on a true story stars an old looking John Cusack playing serial killer Robert Hansen who became notorious in 1983 when captured by an Alaskan state trooper for the amount of murders he got away with for over a decade and the exact number may never be known. Nic Cage puts in a good performance as the Alaskan state trooper who helps and uses information given to him by a young hooker who survived an attack by Robert Hansen. Hansen was perceived as the perfect family man with a couple kids, business, etc., but has a history of events that involved abusing women but was never charged and that just fueled his desire to murder whenever the family was out of town. A good film worth tracking down if you enjoy films about true life serial killers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien Space Avenger

Alien Space Avenger (VHS) – My obsession for watching bad films has no bounds as this 1988 low budget flick has a cartoonist struggling to keep his job unless he comes up with a new story arc. But before that four alien terrorists escape to earth in the 1930s looking for plutonium for their ship only to find zero and decide to hide in their ship for fifty years. Unearthed by a construction crew, the aliens make their way into New York looking for plutonium for their ship. Then they are to be followed by the struggling cartoonist who uses the aliens for his story arc only to realize they are actually aliens and they will kill him if they can ever get a hold of him. If there was a compliment I could give this flick it would be: This is a USA Up All Night flick if I ever seen one as I give this bad but fun movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound (DVD) – Another horrible werewolf film that just feeds the horror fan’s complaints about a good werewolf flick outside of “American Werewolf in London”, “The Howling”, “Ginger Snaps”, “Dog Soldiers”, and the original “Wolf Man”. Nothing redeeming about this boring flick as a werewolf is accidentally sent to a pyrotechnics company by mistake, breaks loose, and attacks anything nearby. If that wasn’t insulting enough the werewolf costume looks like a throw away costume from SyFy Channel’s exclusive film “Yeti”. First rule of making a werewolf film: Have good costume/effects! Second rule: Have money to make a werewolf film or should I say pull one off? I give this waste of space at the video store 0 stars.

 

The Street Fighter (VHS) – It’s 1974 and Sonny Chiba fucks a lot shit up! Including some dude’s ball sack! Sonny is a bad ass mercenary who is trying to protect a billionaire’s daughter. Along the way Chiba even takes on a whole dojo… That is just bad ass as I give this classic 4 stars.

 

Orloff against The Invisible Man (DVD) – The 1970 film has several names but none of them make the film any easier to watch as some scientist dude named Orloff has an invisible gorilla that rapes a bunch of women. Then he dies at the paws and vicious mouths of some German Shepherds! I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Eerie (DVD) – Katherine Isabelle and five other students are testing out in the field as part of their C.S.I. course. They are led out to an island by their professor and maintenance guy where a state prison and a small community have long been abandoned or they think? An extra body is found during student’s test and then disappears only to begin attacking the corpses that were left out for the student’s tests. Soon the small group of people realizes they are being stalked by possible human experiments from the old prison. Cool effects, lots of blood, Katherine Isabelle in another horror film, not your typical zombies, a little throwback to John Saxon’s “Zombie Deathhouse” which all equals that you need to go watch this direct to video horror flick! I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com or pick up a copy at our table at Horror Realm from us March 7-9th, 2014. Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.