This week we bring back one of our favorite guests John Portanova. And he is bringing with him a masterpiece in the odd and bizarre HAUSU from Japan. Tim talks the feminist slasher THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, and Kyle is talking about the number one library rental of all time THE GOLDEN CHILD. Also we chat it up about all things Sasquatch and Sasquatch related including his one and only weakness. Richard Nixon’s shenanigans. Kyle meets Joe Bob Briggs and sees some truly classic flicks at the theater. Kinda? And we have a report from the road with Kyle and Profondo Cinema’s J. Scott at the B Movie Celebration in Nashville Indiana. So check it out and please… GIVE US THE KNIFE…. PLEEEEAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Monthly Archives: August 2014
Gross Movie Reviews #328
0Gross Movie Reviews #328
By Tim Gross
Night Shift (DVD) – Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton work at the city morgue in this comedy classic about two guys that become pimps. Keaton is the idea man and Winkler is the money guy who even gets the hookers healthcare, 401K, and not beat up until two guys who were cutting in on the action on the last pimp they killed finds out about the city morgue. Great stuff as I give 3 stars.
The Salton Sea (DVD) – Val Kilmer stars in this film about two different characters but they are both the same person. Kilmer sees his wife die in a horrible hotel drug bust gone bad while using the bathroom. He becomes another person for over a year and becomes addicted to drugs to find the people who killed her. The film is very weird, odd, interesting, and Vincent D’Onofrio a big time drug dealer who got his nose removed because he did too much “gunk”! Kilmer is brilliant and this is the type of film for you if you are looking for something “off the wall”? I give the film 2 ½ stars.
The Conjuring (DVD) – James Wan must have been a little tired of the “Paranormal Activity” flicks and reached in his bag of tricks to pull out this 70sish haunted house/ghost flick. Violent, creepy, and based on a true story of a paranormal team named the “Warrens” who apparently were recognized by the Catholic Church and try to help people in the 60s and 70s with their paranormal issues. This story just happen to be the one they did not like talking about for many years as it also haunted them deeply because of the evil they faced. The Warrens come across a family who have become afflicted or cursed by a woman/witch who hung herself declared her soul to Satan many years ago and fucked up shit has happened to people who have lived at the house or near it on a regular basis. So if you are old like me and enjoyed the original “Amityville Horror”? This is right up your alley folks as I give it 3 stars.
Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Aaron Douglas and many other no names star in this end of the world SyFy Channel flick that is based on the astrological signs and how they coincide with a planet that orbits the sun differently than the other planets we know about. If that doesn’t grab ya, Christopher Lloyd appears in the flick long enough to make you feel you haven’t totally wasted your time watching it. I give the film 1 ½ stars. If bored and a little psychotic like yours truly look for the scene with about 15 minutes left in the film when someone fucked up editing and a Ford Flex racing from a helicopter changes into a Chevy Tahoe and then back to the Ford Flex.
The Expendables 3 (Theater) – How to put this simply but this third film showed that “The Expendables” franchise does have a shelf life and its right at its sell by date. Love the first two films and cannot bad mouth Stallone for trying to give fans something different. But this film centers more on The Expendables team trying to get younger instead of more on the older action stars we all know and love. Mel Gibson plays a great asshole villain and once the film gets past trying to establish the younger people into the film all hell breaks loose for the last 30 minutes to give you one big action orgasm! Will there be a fourth, I doubt it but that doesn’t mean you should write this sequel off as I give it 3 stars and thank you Antonio Banderas for being awesome…
Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero (On Demand) – This flick centers around the fat hobbit (Sean Astin) being immune to the flesh eating disease that has scientists baffled and have shut themselves up in a building basement on an island after fat hobbit tries to infect them. This is the type of film that makes me and other horror fans question: Why is there another sequel? How is this a “Cabin Fever” movie? And so on and so on. The movie blows donkey ass but what saves the film is there is just some wicked ass gore effects that need to be seen and seen often! I give the film 1 star but the gore effects 3 ½ stars.
Chiller (VHS) – Here’s a TV movie directed by Wes Craven in the early 80s that starred Michael Beck and Jill Schoelen in a flick that will make you think twice about cryogenics. Being frozen for later use was the entire craze in the late 70s and through the 80s and this film poses as a warning if your cryo-tube begins to malfunction, they thaw you out and apparently you no longer have a soul? The dated film is still fun to watch as I give it 2 stars.
Zombie Undead (DVD) – A higher end independent zombie film from the UK about someone explodes a dirty bomb in the heart of the city and people become zombies and trapping several people in a nearby hospital (where 85% of the film takes place). The several people of course must stay together to survive or they become munchies for the UK deadheads that roam the halls of the hospital! I give it 1 ½ stars.
Zombie Massacre: Army of the Dead (DVD) – A higher end independent film from Maryland starring Jim Krut as one fucked up privately funded government dude who wants to perform an experiment on a whole town to see if they are able to make the perfect soldier and control it. Problem the town and anyone outside the town knows nothing about it as a couple of college kids stuck in a movie theater may throw off the whole experiment? It has running zombies, slow zombies, and bloodless zombies, next time do some rewrites as it appears you have the budget and the resources to pull off a better product as I give it 1 ½ stars. Wanna see more about the film or other projects the filmmaker behind “Zombie Massacre” has done or will do go check out www.chemicalburn.org . And if you already guessed it: “yes, I bought the film for the mere reason it had massacre in the title.”
Thriller: A Cruel Picture (DVD) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past decade but can’t be duplicated. A woman who is raped as a young girl is now grown but is mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up and hooked on heroin and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see now why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! I give it 4 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews and Jagoff Massacre t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Help out a cool filmmaker making a cool film
0https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/pig-pen
Hello! Welcome to the PIG PEN crowd funding page!
I am Jason Koch director of 7th Day and we have started this campaign to raise funds for our upcoming indie action thriller, “PIGPEN.” If you join us in producing this film, together we will go on a fun and exciting journey. Even though film making is hard work it’s filled with good times and memories that we want to share with you! By contributing to our perks we will get you involved in many aspects of our film making process!
We are looking to raise an additional ten thousand dollars to supplement our current budget. The money you donate will first go to feeding the crew! Second, donations will be used to pay for the cast and crew transportation and lodging expenses. Next, even with our two Black Magic 4k cameras already in hand and a lot of grip and electric in house. We will use donations to supplement our shoot with equipment and gear rentals. Off of our recent underground success with 7th Day and M is for Munging our team is back again!
With myself directing again and Mark Leake(7th Day, Mutantis) returning to script a story Clint Kelly(M is for Munging) and I wrote. Steve Rubac(7th Day)returns to camera along side John Grove(Elfman) to capture the action and violence. Of course Kaleigh Brown with Aftermath FX(7th Day, V/H/S 2, Return to Nukem High) return to bring new and innovative gore FX! Paul Joyce(7th Day, Father’s Day) is set to bring the music and tones to the project a long with a new crew of musicians! I can’t make these films with out my team and with everyone returning and great new additions you can trust that we will complete and deliver a shocking and beautiful project!
PIG PEN is the story of a thirteen year old runaway Zack played by up and coming indie actor Lucas Koch(Science Team, 7th Day, Witch’s Brew) Who is tormented by his mother’s abusive boyfriend Wayne, played by indie film powerhouse Vito Trigo(Return to Nukem High, Science Team) Wayne eventually forces Zack to live in the streets. Until a murder has the two face to face in a tale of bloodshed and revenge.
Check out our exciting perks now and donate!
Check out our production team’s work here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpnuB6ArUzg
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pig-Pen/806503509361272
We bring T-shirt Joe onto the show with us!
0This week we welcome back T-Shirt Joe, a comic book fan, to talk about the movie that everyone is raving about GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. Tim comes at us with DEATHSPORT. And Kyle talks about the Amicus anthology TALES FROM THE CRYPT 1972. Along the way we cover such topics as racism… of course, why a guy worth 40 million dollars would have to resort to crowd sourcing a movie, and a ton of other nonsense. So check it out. And be sure to check out http://www.fastcustomshirts.com for all your T-shirt needs.
The Creepy Doll
0The Creepy Doll
“She’s got her eye on you!”
Madisonville, Kentucky – Big Biting Pig Productions has recently released their horror title The Creepy Doll on Amazon’s VOD platform, Amazon Prime. The film involves a newly wedded couple, jealousy and a strange doll collection, with one creepy doll standing out, in particular. The doll seems to take influence over Kate when she becomes suspicious of her husband’s interactions with a beautiful woman. The Creepy Doll is now available for fans of horror, on several video-on-demand formats.
From the story, Kate (Kristine Renee Farley) is an expectant mother. Kate and her husband, Jason (Justin Veazey) decide to move back into a rural Kentucky town, to settle down and start a family. Their furnishings come shortly thereafter and a strange doll collection is the centerpiece of their new home. However, this doll collection brings along many old memories and even a few secrets. Now, Jason is the focus of jealousy and rage.
Production company Big Biting Pig Productions has been developing films for several years, now. Their first feature, Maniac on the Loose was released in 2008, to much praise. They have followed up their success with several more movies including Hell is Full (2010), Spirit Stalkers (2012) Lucid (2013) and many more. Winning Best Feature at the May Day Film Festival, The Creepy Doll continues to unsettle the indie horror genre with a truly disturbing tale of psychological terror. Do not miss one of Big Biting Pig Production’s most twisted tales – The Creepy Doll!
Release Date: Summer 2014 (Video-on-demand).
Director/writer: P.J. Woodside.
Cast: Kristine Renee Farley, Justin Veazey, Jessica Dockrey, Jason Carraway and Steve Hudgins.
The film is available on VOD here:
http://www.bigbitingpigproductions.com/TheCreepyDollStreaming
The Official Facebook Page for The Creepy Doll is hosted here:
https://www.facebook.com/thecreepydollmovie
Company Bio’: Big Biting Pig Productions was developed by writers and directors P. J. Woodside and Steve Hudgins. Together, this team focus on character driven stories. Based in Western Kentucky, their work continues to draw fans of story and of horror.
Gross Movie Reviews #327
0Gross Movie Reviews #327
By Tim Gross
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Robert Carradine finds a way to make a mutant barracuda into a military weapon and Sharktopus just happens to thaw out from a glacier for a fight to the death between these titans. Movie has a few unintentional laughs and Robert Carradine plays a complete dick throughout the film which makes it watchable as I give 2 stars.
Tales From the Crypt (DVD/You Tube) – Over 40 years later this anthology still lays the ground work for makes a great anthology. The film is based on the dark EC Comics that later became a HBO series and inspired “Creepshow” before it stars the likes of Peter Cushing, Joan Collins, and Ralph Richardson. Some people decide to take a tour of some catacombs and five of them get lost and come upon a man who asks them to sit as he tells those stories of their recent lives. Afterward the five would like out of the mysterious cave but soon understand this is just a gateway to hell for what they have done in their past. It’s creepy and beautiful at the same time and definitely a flick to show horror newbies as its rated PG! I give the classic flick 4 stars.
The Woman in Black (DVD) – So it took me a while but I finally sat down to watch Harry Potter in this creepy ghost story from the new Hammer Productions. Harry Potter is widower who just happens to get a job that sends him to a small town that has a legend of ghosts, witches, and where little kids disappear to wrap up an estate. Things are completely weird soon as he sets foot there as the locals don’t want him going to the home and digging up the past. Wonderful story building with some creepy ghosts make this an excellent choice of horror if you are looking for less gory? I give the flick 3 stars.
Devil’s Playground (DVD) – A UK zombie flick made a couple years ago where a product makes it past animal trials to human trials and is given to 30000 people. Within two months 29999 become deathly ill, bleed from the eyes, go crazy, then death. But one girl that had the test drug is not phased and a mercenary is hired to find her before this epidemic breaks out as now the test subjects that have died are now becoming acrobatic zombies that jump, somersault, and fly everywhere as they attack their victims. If you can get past some zombies die from a single shot and others die after having full clips shot into their heads you’ll enjoy this flick. This zombie film seems to be more of a bloodier version of “Resident Evil” in some ways as I give it 2 stars.
Universal Soldier: The Return (DVD) – Jean-Claude Damme is back with no Dolph Lundgren in this 1998 sequel has Luc Devereux as advisor to the Universal Soldier program. But when the super high tech computer helping Luc and others to control the Universal Soldier program and gets wind of the program being shut down the super computer wants to evolve and takeover humanity. The film also stars Michael Jai White and Bill Goldberg in what sounded good on paper but when it was put to film it just happen to be one of the death nails in Jean-Claude’s Hollywood career for next few years. I give the film 1 ½ stars.
The Golden Child (DVD) – A comedy starring Eddie Murphy in his prime as a man who finds missing children. The rest of the cast is rounded out with other cool veteran actors in Charles Dance, Randell “Tex” Cobb, Victor Wong, James Hong, and even wrestler Tiger Chung Lee! Murphy’s character is approached by a young woman who explains that a special child, ‘the golden child’ has been kidnapped from Tibet and brought to the U.S. and needs to be found before he is sacrificed to a higher power. Eddie isn’t sure about the child and thinks its bullshit until he has some odd dreams, talks to a demon (Charles Dance), and some strange Asian dudes in the words of Eddie Murphy try to kill him any chance they get. So Murphy’s character travels to Tibet to get a special knife to trade for the child from his brother Numpsy! I pretty much laughed my balls off watching this flick as it has a lot of great one-liners like “Commando”. I give the flick 3 stars.
Riddick (DVD) – Picking up from the lackluster sequel “The Chronicles of Riddick” and surprising me that there would ever be another movie with such an interesting character as Riddick. Riddick is trapped on a planet trying to survive but wants off cause he believes it’s time to go back home. Instead of trying to expand the Riddick universe as they did in the second film they go back to focusing on Riddick and having fun with the character in this sci-fi adventure. Riddick finds a camp with no one at so he hits the distress call and soon many mercenaries show up. Problem is they are too busy fighting over each other as who is going to capture Riddick rather than worrying about why Riddick got them to come there in the first place. Soon a storm is coming and just like “Pitch Black” that is when the film is a lot of fun. Good flick but believe the film before kinda killed any cool stuff this series could have been? But I do hope somewhere along the line Vin Diesel does another one as it can be fun sci-fi horror for all, I give the flick 2 ½ stars.
Red 2 (DVD) – Bruce Willis and pals are in trouble again as someone has leaked some information about secret project in Russia in 1979 involving John Moses. The only person that actually knows about what exactly that took place is a man that just so happens to be dead or thought he was dead and now found imprisoned for the past 30 years with only his thoughts of how he is going to get revenge. But the real reason comes to light after he is loose and gets away from Moses is he came up with a bomb that has red mercury which is untraceable. The sequel has its moments but nowhere near as much fun as the first flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Stand By Me (DVD/Theater) – Going to see this movie again based on a Stephen King story I forgot how funny and how good this movie is about friends on a journey to see a dead kid. It begins with them wanting to see the dead kid Ray so they become famous in 1959 but once getting there and sharing all the events they had happen to them the kids decided no one should try to get famous off of someone dying the way he did. Four friends who are at the edge of becoming teenagers and about to go into junior high all have great backstories that sucks into their world. They find out from a couple older kids who boosted a car that they know where the missing kid is and they were unsure if they should tell their friends about it. And that is where the four kids’ journey begins… It’s one of those perfect movies you tend to forget all who starred in which nowadays would have had a budget of 250 million because of all the names but also you forget how funny but interesting all the characters in the film are? With that I give it 4 stars and start chanting “Lard ass, Lard ass, Lard ass!” until he starts puking pie all over the place.
Dead Before Dawn (DVD) – A hilarious zombie film starring Christopher Lloyd who needs his grandson to watch his store “The Occult Barn” so he go receive his lifetime achievement award. Problem is his grandson saw his father die in the store 15 years ago and has been scared shitless of everything since. On a whim he the grandson decides to help out Lloyd’s character and watch the store but everything goes to hell when friends come by and he drops a skull shaped urn that unleashes an evil that turns all the people they look at into zimens! Half zombie, half demon and the people commit suicide first before they change. And if you French kiss a zimen it becomes your slave. Oh one more thing if you do not fix the urn before dawn it will be hell on earth forever. What seems corny and possibly horrible at first glance is actually really good and worth giving a chance as it breathes a little more life into a very saturated zombie genre! I give it 3 ½ stars. And Christopher Lloyd is still one of my favorite actors.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews and Jagoff Massacre t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
We talk Psycho sequels and The Devil’s Rain this episode
0This week Tim and Kyle talk about 2 beloved sequels that have no right being as good as they are in PSYCHO 2 and 3. And Kyle sees THE DEVIL’s RAIN a cheesy, melty, glob of evil goodness back in the heyday of the “satanic panic” flicks. Also, we talk about how awesome Synapse releases are, and their beautiful editions of Curtains, Killer Kitchen appliances, Tarentino’s ability to make boring snooze-fests, The Stinger, that glorious dude that we know as Weird Al Yankovic. We also talk about news such as Fight Club 2, & Yak pube beards so check it out.
See yinz Saturday!
0Al Bravo Studios and Chemical Mind Studios Announce the Release of 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH
0Home Sweet Home Becomes a Nightmare in this New Horror Film
by the Studio Behind The Wailer (La Llorona)
LOS ANGELES, CA (August 12, 2014) – Al Bravo Studios and Chemical Mind Studios have partnered to give horror fans a new thrill with their haunting new film 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH, coming to theaters on Friday, September 5th. Starring Michelle Hicks (Mullholland Drive, “The Shield”) and Andrew W. Walker (Steel Toes, Against the Wall), 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH is the chilling tale of a couple whose seemingly perfect dream home quickly becomes their nightmare.
This psychological thriller comes from the new voice in horror, Writer/Director Stanley Yung, Producer Al Bravo (The Chicago 8, The Wailer), and the independent studio that brought audiences the cult horror film The Wailer (La Llorona). As one of Hollywood’s most promising independent producers, Al Bravo creates films that explore a variety of genres, describing his approach as “American with a Latino touch.” His studio’s latest feature-length effort, 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH, will have a limited theatrical release in Los Angeles.
The film follows Rachel (Michelle Hicks) and Kevin Foster (Andrew W. Walker), a couple who have finally found the ideal apartment where they can build a future and raise their children. It’s a fresh start for their sometimes troubled marriage, but as they begin to settle into their new home, their plans are quickly interrupted. Strange occurrences in the apartment begin to invade Kevin’s dreams and challenge Rachel’s sanity. The hauntings are so terrorizing that Kevin is forced to delve into the history of their new home and he uncovers a shocking past that threatens to destroy his and Rachel’s future.
Co-starring Eric Roberts (The Expendables, The Dark Knight), Costas Mandylor (Saw series), and Dee Wallace (The Howling, E.T.), this ghostly tale shows that there is no turning back once you unleash the evils of the past. In 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH, a young couple’s dream of “happily-ever-after” turns into a horrifying nightmare.
For more information, visit www.2b1bmovie.com. Watch the trailer at http://2b1bmovie.com/#videos and click on http://2b1bmovie.com/#theaters for dates and show times.
****
About Al Bravo Studios:
Al Bravo Studios is an independent film studio that prides itself on its commitment to the art of filmmaking and its continued support of independent projects. Since 2005, the company has been dedicated to producing quality products – such as The Wailer (La Llorona), The Chicago 8 and Un Día en el Banco (A Day at the Bank) – and opening doors for talented filmmakers from all different backgrounds and levels of experience. For additional information, please visit www.albravostudios.com.
Dark Cove… “Sex, drugs, murder…wanna go camping?”
0Victoria, British Columbia – Director Rob Willey had a cast screening for the horror feature Dark Cove in Victoria, B.C., this past July (2014). The event was sold out and was host to bouts of laughter and even a few shrieks. Now, Willey has completed the official trailer for the feature; the clip shows more of the gruesome fun that is in store for fans. As well, this title has been submitted to several film festivals, with a wide release expected soon.
The film involves five friends and a camping trip to a remote park. At the wooded locale, Ian (Eliot Bayne), Quinn (Willey), Jen (Montanna McNalley), Joey (Rob Abbate), and Donnie (Cameron Crosby) begin a night of partying. Hallucinogenic mushrooms lead to bad decisions and a confrontation. Soon, the group crosses a trio of Australian surfers and this night of fun turns into one of murder!
The official trailer for Dark Cove is here. Viewers can see director Willey as the character and party host Quinn. Another Victoria local, Ty Stokoe, is also seen as the ferocious surfer Chase. Fans of horror can see both characters conflict in this exciting, new trailer. Also, film fans will not have to wait long to see Dark Cove on the big screen as the film has been submitted to several film festivals around the world. The film festival run for the film will begin shortly.
The official trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeNCjSXCTbo
Release Date: 2014-15.
Director: Rob Willey.
Writers: Rob Willey, Dennis Willey.
Cast: Eliot Bayne, Rob Willey, MontannaMcNalley, Rodney Woods, James Anderson, Camerson Crosby, Rob Abbate and Alexandra Brown.
The film’s fan page is here: https://www.facebook.com/DarkCove
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