Gross Movie Reviews #571

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Gross Movie Reviews #571

The Hunger (DVD) – This 1983 vampire flick that stars David Bowie, Susan Sarandon, and Cliff DeYoung has always intrigue me…Mainly because I had seen it on cable TV way back in the early days of cable and completely forgot about it because I was a kid. This movie never impacted me like “The Monster Squad” or a “Halloween” even but I finally felt it was time to revisit this film and it is either ahead of its time or quite misunderstood since I don’t hear many horror movie fans bring this one up? Anyway, Miriam and John (David Bowie) are lovers and Miriam has lived many centuries and when she has had enough of her lover they tend to age and die quickly. John becomes very concerned feeling their love is over and finds a doctor (Susan Sarandon) who has made some interesting breakthroughs? Soon the good doctor Sarah is wrapped up in some erotic weirdness and cannot decide if she is love or there believing this will further her research? The film has an erotic charm to it deserves a second look as it doesn’t play by the vampire rules we all grew up with as I give this vampire feature 3 stars. Also too if you wanna do some prep work to help get more interested into this film there is a lot of great facts about the behind the scenes stuff that made me just happy to give this a second watch.

The Sadness (Shudder) – Honestly I don’t know if more can be said about this wonderful virus infection flick from Taiwan other than it will be on my “Best of 2022 list”. The pandemic is the backdrop and the virus has yet mutated again according to background news reports that like most of us we are not paying attention. But this mutation is different as those who are sick soon go into a fit of rage, rape, murder, and even a little cannibalism. As most of the population has lost its mind two young lovers try to navigate the city to find each other again! But what separates this “The Crazies” type of film from a lot of horror films is the violence, gore, the madness ramps up as the film goes along. When one crazy thing happens, give it ten minutes and you get to see something even more nutzoid! The film was wonderful, beautiful and played just right but funny thing and this is just me nit picking at shit but I can honestly say I wanted let’s just say a little happier ending without spoiling the fun? Anyway I still give this horror flick 4 stars and must see for horror fans this year. 

Super Dark Times (DVD) – A couple teenage best friends are screwing around with each other as usual until an accident with a sword happens. Instead of reporting the accident they bury it. As the days pass the friends fall down a deep hole of darkness trying to cope and move past the accident. But there is a problem the sword is missing and now a couple more people have gone missing at school. I really like the tone of this screwed up flick because I think it hits on a very believable string of events as I give this film 3 ½ stars.

The Chain Reaction (DVD) – Another crazy Australian film from 1980 that is an environmental action/drama that stars Toecutter and Goose from “Mad Max” and watch close because Mel Gibson shows up for a quick one line. But we have an earthquake that hits an area where a toxic waste dumping plant (WALDO) has a spill where an employee is involved and taken to their infirmary. Heinrich the employee is upset because he knows the spill is horrendous and believes the public should be warned. But the corporation feels much differently about this. What the corporation doesn’t know Heinrich had been approached by an outside source explaining the dangers of a spill if it ever happens? Heinrich escapes, warns his source, and along the way finds a young vacationing couple, the Stilsons, who help take care of him. But soon WALDO’s boss Gray tracks them all down and plans silencing everyone so any info about the spill will go away. Think dramatic dangers of nuclear waste in the early 80s with some bad ass car chases as I give the film 3 stars.

Castle Falls (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren stars, directs, and produces this feature that also stars another action film favorite Scott Adkins. Castle Heights Hospital is about to be demolished in 90 minutes to make way for new condominiums but three parties in Mike, Ericson, and a gang member claiming they are owed money are about to risk their lives for a couple million dollars hidden in the structure. All three are desperate for different reasons but just like “Trespass” with Ice-T, Bill Paxton this type of film is still mindless fun for 90 minutes as I give it 3 stars.

Virus: 32 (Shudder) – A Spanish film where a mother who isn’t exactly excited to have her young daughter today has to take her along to work at an empty club she guards. After a fun quick tour the two quickly realize the world outside is changing. Virus infected people are trying to make their way into the club to kill them both. Red marks on the hands of people can help identify the infected as Iris and Tata are separated in the club and try desperately to find each other as the infected are only satisfied by violence. Enjoyed the premise of the film and liked the rules of the infected as like “The Sadness” the twist makes for good memorable horror stuff as I give this 3 ½ stars.

House on the Edge of the Park (Blu-ray) – Severin Films recently released this sleazy revenge flick with a crazy amount of extra goodies for the horror kids to filter through. The movie from 1980 begins in the city where a rich couple stops in a garage that happens to have two lunatics Alex and Ricky getting ready for a night of dancing and partying. But after fixing the couple’s car they head off with the couple to the “get together”. Once there Alex immediately sees or believes the rich douchebags are taking advantage of his buddy. So Alex allows his demented brain to take over and turn the tables on these rich folk believing they need to be taught real respect? Alex always has a plan as he slowly beats and tortures the group that even includes controlling his friend Ricky. Thus making for a great set up ending as David Hess just seems to relish the role of the sadistic Alex. I enjoyed the film for what it is and just like “Last House on the Left” I needed to take a shower after watching it. This is just another example of why we all need more David Hess in our lives as I give the film 3 stars.

Amityville Outhouse (DVD) – Just when I thought I was done I get pulled back in as entry #37 finds me through the talented filmmaker Maddie Deering and her love for independent films. This 60 minute adventure is literally a hodgepodge of an anthology where a hobo in the woods stops a man from taking a shit in a haunted outhouse! Reminder even the filmmaker of the film doesn’t want the viewer to take this dumb outhouse thing seriously. With that the crazy hobo explains the outhouse is built from lumber from Amityville or left over demolished houses, honestly does it actually matter? Then the hobo tells three stories concerning a killer panda at a party, a priest pooping out a puppet, and a mobster fighting The Meatman. The first 15 minutes were funny but by the 30 minute mark I wanted to be watching something else and should have been limited to a short film? I actually hoped for something else but 37 entries in I got this so I give it 1 star.

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Gross Movie Reviews #533

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Gross Movie Reviews #533

Creepies (DVD) – At an undisclosed secret military base two army privates are busy playing grab ass and just happened to unleash mutant spiders! It doesn’t take long for these mutant arachnids to spread out and cause death and mayhem. From there the film goes into insane mode with its miniature effects whether its spiders, cars blowing up, buildings catching fire, etc. If that isn’t enough the mutant spiders have had enough of listening to bad cover bands in a crappy studio that is the second of two sets that the film uses for 90% of the film. This of course sets up the filler for the film of a bad girl band struggling to survive the mutant spiders in a studio while the military tries to contain it to the city. If it matters in the end everything gets nuked anyway so for that I give it 1 star.

Slaxx (Shudder) – Libby is a young lady who is lucky enough to be starting a new job at a super popular clothing store “CCC”. The store is all about a better tomorrow using experimental cotton for their new killer jeans “Super Shapers”! These pants are amazing as they will fit male or female, overweight or underweight and make you look wonderful. Unaware the employees who try to see how the jeans fit before anyone else get murdered by the experimental pants as they want revenge. To compound the problem once Libby and employees figure this out the store is on lockdown and makes it impossible to call authorities in. On the other hand Libby’s manager is all about saving the store so he can be promoted and sell the shit out of these jeans when morning hits no matter how many people die. The film has some inventive kills, touches upon a lot of millennial themes, and at about the 40 minute mark the film goes completely bonkers which just excited me! Where films like the overrated ‘Rubber’ and lackluster ‘Killer Sofa’ fail, ‘Slaxx’ puts on a show as I give one of the best films of 2021 4 stars.

The Jungle (DVD) – Another average found footage film that was made in 2012 about a character Larry Black who is a wild animal expert and film’s his expeditions. This latest one was a little different as he is heading to Indonesia to hopefully track and tag a leopard that was believed to be extinct? As Larry and his team get drawn into the rainforest deeper and deeper they come to the conclusion they might be tracking a much bigger unknown creature. What could have been interesting… fails as like a good bit of found footage films the movie feels long, dumb, and boring even with it not being that long of a film in reality. Pass over this found footage film as I give it 1 star if you come across it.

Tales of the Uncanny (Blu-ray) – A documentary from Severin Films that covers the history of anthologies… Interesting stuff. Over 60 producers, critics, filmmakers discuss the beginning of anthologies and raise the question about their impact on the industry over the years. This wonderful documentary covers all of them and for young and old horror fans alike. Yes they talk ‘Creepshow’ but also goes through some unknown gems and discuss how some came about. They did this during the pandemic last year which adds a different quality to this documentary and separates it from your average documentary as I give it 4 stars of course.

Witchcraft (DVD) – So I wanted to start watching this series so of course you got to start with the first film which was released all the way back in 1988. Oh by the way in case you are unaware there 16 of these… for now. This low budget horror about witches and warlocks centers in on Grace who just had a baby and her husband pushes her to stay with his mother until she gets her strength back. Never a good idea in general as anyway it doesn’t take long for things to get strange but what drives it home that Grace isn’t just thinking weird things is when Father James shows up. Father James has a horrible reaction to what he sees in the family and begs Grace to come to church the next day as you know will solve everything in life? With soon a dead priest and Grace no longer trusting her husband who is a warlock by the way Grace must fight her way out of this satanic web of crazy and save her baby. I give the first entry 2 stars.

Godzilla vs. Kong (On Demand) – Forces have been trying to protect Kong from Godzilla as they believe Godzilla could kill him. But things have changed recently in Godzilla’s behavior and cause them to move Kong to a new home. A scientist believes he has found the entrance to “Hollow Earth” and knows how to survive entry if they can get Kong to pinpoint its exact location? Meanwhile the Apex Corporation is working on a Mechagodzilla to put a stop to Godzilla and possibly Kong to be on the safe side. “Hollow Earth” has a power source only like one other and that is Godzilla and they want to use it to fuel their Mechagodzilla. It was good but not great but hey, don’t let that stop you from enjoying the year’s first big popcorn flick as I give it 3 stars.     

Witchcraft 2: The Temptress (DVD) – The second entry into this series from 1989 has a witch from the previous film back to stalk and haunt a young stud. She would to have him for her evil ways and hang with Satan, but the young William isn’t having it. The witch even lowers herself to wearing a stripper outfit while cleaning leaves out of the gutters to get William’s attention. But when that doesn’t work of course you get lower with ghost rape but that doesn’t matter in the end cause love conquers all as I give this sequel 1 ½ stars.

Witchcraft 3: The Kiss of Death (DVD) – I could just summarize this film as: no budget, no script, but a dozen ideas and nothing works but that isn’t fun. So we have a pro-bono lawyer named William who has a past with witches (still connecting it to the past two films) who is a good man trying to do the right thing. But William unknowingly befriends a warlock who sucks the life from women to keep his girlfriend Roxy alive. Lewis the warlock interrupts everything in William’s life including the relationship with his hot girlfriend who is ready to settle down. As people begin to die or disappear it really comes down to the warlock just wanting to bang William’s hot girlfriend on a regular basis and who can blame him as I give the third entry 1 star.

Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century (YouTube/DVD) – Hey you… need a WTF Bigfoot film in your life? Well this 1977 Italian/Canadian production will your void and more. A retired professor Henry Wasserman is led out of retirement by a good friend with a document claiming they found “Yeti” in an iceberg. Once the professor sees it for his own eyes he takes control in melting the ice off of it in order to preserve this magnificent find. They revive the Yeti and it rampages but settles once it makes friends with Mr. Hunnicutt’s grandkids. But hey there are plans for this big ass Yeti so let’s take it to Toronto so it can rampage there too. Point of the film is a Yeti can be nice unless taken out of it natural habitat… I think as I give this weird mess 2 stars.

Witchfinder General (DVD) – It is 1645 and England is in the middle of a civil war as Vincent Price as Matthew Hopkins is in charge of traveling the English countryside and deciding who is a witch. If he finds supposed witches he has his companion convict and kills them. With each witch they collect a bag of silver so of course the Witchfinder always finds a witch in each village he visits. But after Matthew and his companion rape a young woman Sara and destroy her uncle because of witchcraft her fiancée Richard Marshall a young soldier seeks revenge. The soldier swears he will ravage the Witchfinder Hopkins when found. Usually with Mr. Price you are guaranteed a fun time but this seems to lack the spark most of his films have and why this Vincent Price film is not talked about much? Either way if you are a fan you need to check it out once as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

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Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

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