Gross Movie Reviews #511

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Gross Movie Reviews #511

 

Deep Blue Sea 3 (On Demand) – This time around has Dr. Collins and her team working the summers at a shark nursery where sharks come by to give birth. The crew is studying the effect of climate change and what is happening to the sharks but a wrench is thrown in the study when Dr. Collins ex-boy toy shows up. The ex and mercs are there because they been tracking the experimental sharks that got away and they need to kill them or capture them by any means! Being the third in the series this sequel doesn’t take a chance but also doesn’t fuck up as it sticks to the formula of recent cheap shark film releases as I give it 2 stars.

 

Tenebrae (DVD) – An early 80s release from Dario Argento where a popular American writer heads out to Rome for a tour of his latest book. Once there things get weird as a serial killer is killing people the same way they are killed in his book. Slowly people connected to the popular writer are being murdered and the police have no clue. But with each death getting closer to the writer and his curiosity getting the better of him he begins investigating who could be the killer? Call it a Giallo, call it a murder/mystery, whatever you consider this horror flick it is considered one of the favorites among Argento fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy (DVD) – A few doctors open up a tomb and find an Aztec codex that could lead to a fortune but now these same people fear for their lives as the Black Dragon have got involved. The Black Dragon is a gang of evil dudes who want the gold for themselves and begin killing the doctors for the codex. The last person left with access to the codex enlists two bad ass women wrestlers to help him keep the codex from the evil Prince Fujiyata who heads the Black Dragon. So the group breaks up the codex in a few pieces even though the Prince gets ahold of most of the pieces he is faced with having his judo-fighting sisters wrestle the women wrestling stars in a match for the whole codex! Good of course defeats evil but that isn’t enough as the evil Prince still keeps tabs on the crew as they use the codex to search the tomb and instead of treasure or gold they must face off an Aztec mummy! The 1964 film has its moments and feels like something you may have seen Saturday afternoons on Commander USA during the 80s but it does not have the fun factor of the Santo films as I give it 2 stars.

 

Chainsaw Cheerleaders (DVD) – A mid-2000s flick from independent filmmaking legend Donald Farmer about a witch played by Tiffany Shepis, who casts a spell at her death 500 years ago for her soul to survive forever. Now present day we are introduce to an angry redhead named Dawn who is about to turn 18 and just got screwed over by her boyfriend. Of course Dawn doesn’t take kindly to this and tries to cave in her ex-boyfriend’s face which she is faced with go to jail or join the cheerleader squad. Dr. Lacey played by Debbie Rochon believes it would be good for Dawn in the long term if she can do this. Begrudgingly Dawn joins and her first task is to help the squad sell magazines door-to-door. Well Dawn knocks on the wrong door where she witnesses the witch Lucinda to be conjured up through a portal to her time and now Lucinda wants the angry redhead. Now anybody that gets in-between the two just becomes a part of a bloody path that Lucinda makes on her way to Dawn. Throughout the film Dawn is narrating the story and I do not know if this actually makes the movie better, worse, or just something to move the story along. The film has its fun bloody moments, but could have used more chainsaw (since that was in the title), more Tiffany Shepis as Lucinda (she disappears for various reasons throughout), and the rest seemed like filler at times. I enjoy Donald Farmer’s work but a lot of times it feels uneven to me and what the script calls for and what makes it too film could be two different things? Anyway, it has boobs, blood, and a non-running chainsaw most of the time so see if you feel different about the film than I do as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Science Crazed (DVD) – A man named Dr. Frank injects an unwilling woman with his new formula that makes her pregnant and gives birth to a full grown human within hours! I wouldn’t say human as much as a human monster as he hides his face with toilet paper wrapped around his head. This monster stalks the hallway of a building for most of the film after killing Dr. Frank. With each door that the fiend opens in the same hallway that is shown comes a new situation of human or humans to kill in the most hilarious of ways. My favorite might be the first of follies in this film as we have random aerobics class that has two people go on for ten minutes! I honestly believe this may have been stock footage of someone leaving the camera on and eventually they edited it in because they needed more filler? As the scene goes on I believe all the talking going on in the background is the crew preparing the scene or another scene? Or the runner up scene of the woman who dry humps the fiend for five minutes in a random room! But it gets worse as the fiend enters a cheap motel pool area where only two people can be in the scene at once like a Nintendo game that could only have so many characters on screen at once or everything would slow down… If you are not laughing enough the big reveal at the end when the monster/fiend is unmasked of his toilet paper mask and reveals he looks like someone’s boob with peanut butter smeared all over it. This movie was so terrible it became entertaining and remarkable that someone wanted to issue a special edition of the film and for that I thank those people in charge and give this horrible thing we call a film 2 ½ stars… just because it was that damn funny.

 

Army of Frankensteins (DVD) – Just in case you were worried I don’t abuse myself enough I decided to watch this flick completely sober and that was a mistake I paid for dearly. This recent take on the Mary Shelley story has an old mad scientist who has taken in an orphan that he named Igor of course. This old dude is busy working on a present day Frankenstein and with the help of the kid/orphan he removes an eye from a healthy male who just got turned down by his girlfriend in a grocery store. Of course one thing leads to another as a switch is pushed and we have a portal open from a possible parallel dimension where cloned Frankies just roam the countryside helping the South fight in the Civil War. All get pulled through this portal and they must help the North win the war and possibly save Lincoln! This was possibly the dumbest movie I watched in the past decade and shame on the critics who try to claim this is a B-movie in waiting. That is fucking horseshit as this movie is a big old pile of shit as I give it 0 stars.

 

Black Water: Abyss (On Demand) – Since I can’t get enough of killer crocodile movies I knew I needed to watch this long awaited sequel from Australia that has nothing to do with its predecessor. This around a group of people go spelunking into an unknown cave in hopes of finding something they could make money off of doing tours. But a hideous rain storm causes a cave-in and now they are trapped inside with the water rising and a hungry pissed off croc! If you are looking for a serious “animal attacks film” this should fill the void? Or if you are me you want the actress that plays Jennifer in the movie to die 30 seconds in and I almost got it but it was just a tease… Damn filmmaker as I give this serious giant croc film 2 ½ stars.

Monstrous (On Demand) – Two things before we begin this review: first, yes, it is a Bigfoot film. Second, anything I say after this will spoil the sort of twist it has going for it? Anyway if you are still reading two women meet through a craigslist ad to travel from Michigan to Whitehall, New York in the Adirondack Mountains. Sylvia only takes up the offer with Alex because her brother firmly believes this is the same person that was with his girlfriend Dana before she died. The two travel through a couple states and begin to have a connection but Sylvia still feels like she must lie why she is with Alex until they reach their destination. An isolated cabin in the mountains and finally Sylvia comes clean why she is there while Alex comes clean about the Sasquatch that stalks the outside of her cabin. There are glimpses of the Sasquatch trying to get to the cabin but is not happy when Sylvia’s brother shows up and then it gets real interesting as Sylvia learns by accident Alex is a serial killer! It takes a little while to get where they are going but the payoff was really interesting and that was why I feel bad even writing about the film because it is literally one of those movies you will spoil it soon as you start talking about it. A different concept for an often used creature in horror films recently and really enjoyed the payoff as I give the Bigfoot film 3 stars.

 

Killer Raccoons! 2! Dark Christmas (On Demand) – Holy Rutger Hauer, filmmaker Travis Irvine has earned my respect for not only making a killer raccoon movie. But he did it while doing a parody of ‘Under Siege 2: Dark Territory’! We normal lunatics smell our own… But really prisoner Ty Smallwood now named Casey has just got released from jail after serving ten years for underage drinking. He is jumping on a train to Washington D.C. to hang with his dead girlfriend’s sister to explain what happened on the camping trip several years ago? As Darlene wants answers Ranger Rick Danger takes over the train with his raccoon assassins so they can steal data to hold the U.S. hostage while they sell secrets to foreign powers just like the Steven Seagal less liked sequel. Travis and crew not only deliver the goods but I couldn’t stop laughing as film continued on with the Killer Raccoons being the focus throughout unless it was Casey Smallwood. The effort, the passion, and raccoons trained by the C.I.A. with mini machine guns made this the holiday comedy to watch in 2020 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #493

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Gross Movie Reviews #493

 

Smoke and Mirrors: The Story of Tom Savini (Shudder) – Being a huge Savini fan since I was a kid this was huge. I remembered the really cool “Scream Greats” doc from Fango in the 80s so see his life story in full talked about it was a wonderful treat. With this documentary you get everything from his inspiration to the untimely death of his brother to why he did not go to L.A. with famous names we know. For me it also connected some stories I have always heard from filmmaker friends and artists and have read about in the past. Like him or dislike him I have always respected him because he was doing something that was completely amazing and without him I do not believe we have some of the cool talented make-up and effects people now. Horror fans if you didn’t like Savini before you will after this as you get finally get the full understanding and first complete look behind the curtain of Savini’s life. This gets 4 stars all the way as Savini will always be someone I have looked up too then and now.

 

Ready or Not (DVD) – Grace is a bride about to be married into a super-rich family who for over a century has sold board games and such. As family tradition after the marriage the family gets together at midnight to initiate the new family member with a game that is picked by the luck of the draw. Problem arises when Grace pulls the ‘Hide-n-Seek’ card that has her being hunted down by the family throughout the huge mansion to be caught before dawn. Weird and sometimes funny shit but well worth the watch. I may not be as big of a fan as most of this past year’s flick but there is denying Samara Weaving is a freaking awesome actress as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Zombieland: Double Tap (On Demand) – Best way to describe this film is if you see the first film you have seen this sequel. That isn’t a bad it is still hilarious zombie killings and rules going on but ten years later. Believe me I will take a sequel like this than most zombie shit that is being force fed to horror fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

From Hell to the Wild West (On Demand) – Found another flick with bootleg Chuck Bronson. This time around a researcher finds a diary from a woman that may have solved the mystery behind Jack the Ripper? She reads the diary that tells a story about the old west at the time Jack the Ripper had disappeared from authorities. A masked psycho is putting out ads for whores to come to a small remote town for them to be killed. Bootleg Chuck figures this out but some bounty hunters believe it’s him. With the help of a U.S. Marshal he hopes to clear his name and bring this unholy killer to justice. The film isn’t a bad concept but making bootleg Chuck Bronson only a supporting character instead of the star I believe hurts the film. That and the film just seeming to drag a little in the middle so I came out a little disappointed in the end as I give this western/horror 1 ½ stars.

 

Satanic Panic (DVD) – First let me just say without Hayley Griffith as Sam the main character I do not know if this movie is much fun as it is? Sam is a young pizza delivery girl trying to make some money. So an order comes in from a rich part of town that is out of the pizza place’s area Sam takes it. Running out of gas and no tip Sam takes it upon herself to find a way into the mansion to explain why she should get a tip. Without knowing at first she has stumbled upon Satanists who are having a meeting and then set up for a ritual when they figure out Sam is a virgin! Funny shit ensues, lots of gore, and a crazy ass Satanist orgy at the end of the film and you got ‘Satanic Panic’ as I give it 3 stars.

 

Crime Zone (DVD) – An absolute gem starring David Carradine and Sherilyn Fenn in a post-apocalyptic world where ‘the state’ controls everything. Fenn and her new boyfriend are made an offer they cannot refuse in order to escape the hell they are in and that is to become the futuristic Bonnie and Clyde. But a double crossing Carradine believes it is all about business and crime stirs up business with a very depressing ending for the two lovers. A fun Corman low budget gem that reminds you how fucking cool Ms. Fenn is. Not only is she gorgeous but talented and did every little project that came her way during the mid to late 80s and I am thankful for that as this gem gets 3 stars.

 

Conversation with the Devil (YouTube) – A new short film from filmmaker Sam Hodge that deals with a man who is about to commit the ultimate sin but stopped when a stranger walks by to strike up a conversation. An interesting and cool little story that has been told in many forms but Mr. Hodge showing he is learning more and more with each independent project he does as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Cannibal Hillbillies (DVD) – Broaden Torture Productions is back with their latest project that has a small group of friends testing a theory of an urban legend. The urban legend is a family of cannibals living out in the woods where one of their fathers’ had a campsite. They pay with their lives finding this out of course but the biggest problem is watching this 50 minute feature that is filled up with about 10 to 15 minutes of filler. You know empty woods, credits, even the group babbling in the mini-van which seems like forever. I like the people behind this Indy production company but this film just misses on all cylinders badly as I give it 0 out of 4 stars.

 

Strange Events (DVD) – I wouldn’t call it an anthology as much as a series of short films that are about the unknown and paranormal with dates and cities stamped on them. There is no wrap around which makes it unique and fun. We also get some cool backstabbing murders and I did enjoy bootleg Beavis and Butthead stumbling upon the exorcism that they thought was an internet sex date. Worth the watch as I give it 3 stars and if you like it there is a sequel also.

Do Not Disturb (DVD) – A 2010 serial killer film that was also known as “New Terminal Hotel”. Supposedly it is known for having one of the last performances from Corey Haim? But anyway the film centers around a character named Don Malek played by Stephen Geoffreys who was the hot Hollywood screenwriter who now is living in a shitty hotel working on his latest project. Problem arises when his agent Ava played by Tiffany Shepis shows up and sees the studio boss lying in the tub as Malek explains away it is ‘performance art’. Meanwhile all Ava wants is a script from her hot talent that is going cold quickly. Ava returns the next day to find no script but the studio head stumbling out of the bathroom of the hotel room after being dissected by Malek. Now any normal person would run and call the cops but Ava being the best agent possible decides to try and help Malek as she slowly takes the jump down the disturbing rabbit hole with Malek as he transforms into a serial killer. Ava must protect her investment but the biggest flaw of the film might be its ending as it felt very dissatisfying. It’s a fun slow burn with not a great payoff but is better than it should be with great performances from Stephen Geoffreys and Tiffany Shepis as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Bad Bugs (DVD) – SyFy Channel in its heyday couldn’t come up with something this terrible as a scientist figures out how to use a wormhole to make giant man-eating insects to conquer the world. The topper is when the villain changes into a huge snake! Wasn’t this supposed to be about bugs? The title says it all remember people… as I give this zero stars.

 

Cyborg X (DVD) – There was no JCVD in sight but a hilarious role for Danny Trejo shooting CGI machines and cyborgs as he collects another paycheck waiting for the next “Machete” movie. Instead of even trying to explain this picture just imagine a bootleg of a bootleg “Terminator: Salvation” without all the convoluted John Connor storyline. I give it 1 star and consider yourself warned.

Megaconda (DVD) – A giant CGI monster movie that has eluded me for the past year or two as I went searching for this turkey. Some jagoff comes into small town Colorado fucking up some beloved community park to build condos or something. Instead the workers disturb a sleeping prehistoric snake that is pissed and hungry. Now it is up to a drunk, an emotionless sheriff, his son and girlfriend, and wait for it… Michelle Bauer who just happens to show up while camping in a cave doing artwork and supplying liquor to minors! You had me watching at terrible giant CGI snake and very random appearance of the absolutely cool Michelle Bauer. Instead of being stupid and horrible like “Big Bad Bugs” Fred Olen Ray’s son knows what to do with nothing and make it entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Retrograde (DVD) – Freakin’ Dolph Lundgren is a time traveler who travels 200 years in the past to stop a plague happening from fallen meteors that start the apocalypse. His good looks and fighting skills in movies make it hard to pass up. But felt like the film missed out an opportunity since it also starred Gary Daniels. For that I only give this 2004 Dolph flick 1 ½ stars.

 

The Minion (DVD) – Dolph is a part of the ‘Knights Templar’ who is sent to New York City to retrieve a key that has been unearthed by subway construction. An archaeologist is called in and she is going bonkers on what this can mean for her career. But evil is around and wants to use the key to unlock a secret door that has Satan trapped in a pit. If it is opened evil will reign and lay waste to Earth. A fun ‘End of Days’ made on the cheap with Dolph punching humans in the back of the necks with a glove with spikes to kill off the possessed. If you are a fan of religious ‘End of Days’ shit this will be right up your alley as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Yes people we are lazy and Grossfest is this Saturday but we do have five new episodes for you!

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This time around Tim, Kyle, and John take on 3 more flicks.  The first being the biggest movie Hollywood has ever put out in AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  Then we tackle on of the most amazing independent movies we have ever seen in THE HEAD HUNTER.  And finally a classic that Kyle has never seen in THE HAZING.  So download this come see us at GROSFEST this Saturday.

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This time around we tackle 3 finer genre flicks.  The first being the 3rd in the action packed trilogy in JOHN WICK: PARABELLUM.  Then we got an offbeat aquatic slasher in AMSTERDAMNED.  And lastly Jamie Lee Curtis shoots some dudes in BLUE STEEL.  So download this episode and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

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This time around we are covering 4 more genre flicks.  The first being a sequel to one of the most infamous movie of all time in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: DEJA VU.  And then we are on to an Argento giallo in FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET.  Then it’s a weirdo French art flick featuring an outer space fuck octopus in POSSESSION.  And lastly we have the king of the monsters in GODZILLA 2019.  So join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday and have some fun.  BRING BEER!!

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On this week show we pay tribute to the greatest football player of all time and one of the best genre actors we’ve ever had… JIM BROWN!  First we watch an all-time classic that Kyle has never seen in THE DIRTY DOZEN.  Then it’s off to a great slick of Blaxploitation in SLAUGHTER.  And finally we have Jim teaming up with Lee Van Cleef in EL CONDOR.  So download this show and join us at GROSSEFEST this Saturday.

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This week around we bring you 3 more flicks from the back alleys of the internet.  First (much to Kyle’s chagrin) we have a weirdo DAN HAGGERTY joint in MIND TRAP.  Then we cover a SHUDDER joint from Australia in 100 BLOODY ACRES.  And lastly we chat about the newest Netflix jam in THE PERFECTION.  So listen to this epic show and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

 

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Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

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This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

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This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

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This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

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Gross Movie Reviews #471

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Gross Movie Reviews #471

 

South of Hell (DVD) – An independent anthology of sorts as a mysterious young lady telling stories after she leaves a bar that involves humanity. The stories are more about substance than blood and guts but all four are solid entries. The first involves a cute couple (Tawny and Tony) who are all about each other until they move together. Tony cuts Tawny off from the rest of the world for several months as the relationship sours. After an argument Tawny is killed by Tony but doesn’t let her death get in the way of the two being together forever. The second involves two brothers who make drugs for a man who doesn’t like his shipments late and things go south quickly. The third story is about a young woman in college who decides to take a self-defense class because of her mom. But she is kidnapped by an unknown stalker. The fourth is about a man who kills because he enjoys the kill. All entries were well written and entertaining as D. Max Walters changed it up with more story telling than just throwing guts at the screen as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Axeman (DVD) – This 2013 independent slasher has a great cast and I like the set up but fails on many levels in making this slasher film fun. A giant dude with an axe even though he doesn’t use it much kills a group of twenty-somethings looking to party like they did in college. They of course ignore the legend at Cutter’s Creek to get this cabin cheap to party all weekend. When there is 40 minutes between deaths we get a lot of MTV reality show drama as who stole whose boyfriend takes up way too much running time of this feature. Another big mistake is having a huge actor to play the part of the ‘Axeman’ but literally give him no style or character. Hey I know this was a small budget but when you spend more time and cash into casting the film than on special effects and editing you are going to make a bad movie. I wanted to really like this film but I cannot find a way to do that as I give it 1 ½ stars. Stop trying to reinvent the slasher film formula!

 

Axeman 2: Overkill (DVD) – A few years later the sequel picks up seconds after the first film. Problem the sheriff and the final girl or guy in this case was shown at the end about to be hacked to pieces? Darren and the sheriff are alive and basically it is ignored that they were most likely killed. But for some weird script reason they survive only to find themselves being stalked by a new and improved ‘Axeman’ who looks like a bootleg Balls Mahoney from ECW! This time out at Cutter’s Creek we have Christians and criminals taking refuge in the cabin with a bad history. Thus begins another slaughter as the sheriff rounds up a posse to go kill the Axeman with failure as the only option as this sequel was dead on arrival. The actor who plays Darren in both films is also the director and possibly might want to look into another genre of film to make as this sequel may have been worse than the first film as I give it ½ star.

 

Glass (On Demand) – The follow-up to that wonderful film “Split” has David Dunn searching for a serial killer in the city. What he wasn’t expecting to find is the person with over 20 personalities behind the event. As the two fight for supremacy a doctor and about a hundred police officers show up to arrest both and take them to an asylum to be evaluated. There they come together with Mr. Glass. All three are very unique humans with certain possible superhero abilities. The good doctor played by Sarah Paulson has three days to cure them of their ailments as she believes they are not superheroes. With these three possible super humans together in one place you know it’s only a matter of time before a big battle happens. The film may have not gone the way most people wanted but I quite enjoyed the story as it did not try to do too much and let you feel for all three characters. Plus I enjoyed the ending with the good doctor which you know as soon as she hits the screen she is the real bad guy. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Happy Death Day 2U (On Demand) – I will be up front this film should have been better but also where they went with it I totally understand the direction. The whole gang is back and even though Tree is the central point of the story it gets screwed up in a time loop because of Ryan. And because of his actions now parallel universes have been opened up and Tree has been thrown into a different one. Her mom is still alive, her roommate isn’t trying to kill her, and Carter is banging Danielle which gives the sequel its humor. Instead of hilarious constant moments and lots of blood the film almost becomes more of a drama than horror film. All the characters are very likable and I love the first film so much more but this might be an example of when trying to explaining everything instead of just letting some little things in that universe go? I just hope they allow horror audiences to enjoy the first film for years to come and not make the mistake of making a third film that would somehow be a prequel as I give this sequel 2 stars.

 

Queen Crab (DVD) – If you haven’t had your fill of independent creature features then look no further than this feature brought to us by Brett Piper. Just a simple story of a little girl who had a pet crab. When her parents accidently die in an explosion the little girl’s uncle takes care of her. Twenty years later the little girl now an adult lives alone on her parents property and still has the pet crab. What people don’t know about is the crab is a giant crab that ate fruit from an experimental plant that dealt with growth her father was working on. Now the crab is loose wreaking havoc in the small town trying to protect its only friend. I always enjoy finding Brett Piper is out there still working as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

The Dragon Lives Again (YouTube) – The film stars Bruce Leong and the film is dedicated to the millions of the Bruce Lee fans. This is what you need to know folks… Bruce Lee after death goes to the underworld only to fight Dracula, Clint Eastwood, James Bond, Mummies, and Zombies and gets help from Popeye. Literally it is one of those films you would think somebody made up but it is truly real and entertaining as hell as I give it 3 stars.

 

Triple Threat (On Demand) – A Chinese Heiress inherits an ungodly amount of money from her father. She decides to use it to fight crime syndicates so it is safe for people to play outside again and not be afraid. Of course she is going to face some fallout from this now she is hitting national television to talk about her plan. Cue the awesome “Predator-like” beginning scene of people being obliterated by an elite team of soldiers. The elite team is there for nefarious reasons and unleashes supposedly loose cannon that are hired to take out the Chinese Heiress. When two trackers who help this group were believed to be killed and meet a man who survived the attack and unlikely alliance is sort of made when they are forced to protect the heiress. This bad ass action flick is almost as fun as watching “The Expendables” and “The Raid”. Every action star in the flick gets their two minutes of beating some major ass and this is a must watch as I give it 4 stars. Tony Jaa, Tiger Hu Chen, Iko Uwais, Scott Adkins, and Michael Jai White should be in every action film as far as I am concerned as they made me say “Fuck Yeah” quite a few times during this flick.

The Head Hunter (On Demand) – With not much backstory we are introduced to this Viking-like warrior who lives alone in a house with beast heads spiked to the wall. This big burly man has flashbacks of his daughter who he once watched over and was snatched up by one of these monsters. Every so often he receives a message or signal to go hunt for the new beast. He goes to war with all beasts over and over looking for the particular one that took his daughter. Finally the day as come that the beast he has been looking for has been spotted. He is more excited than usual to track this monster. Like the rest of the defeated beasts he has decapitated it and carries it home to spike it and show it to his daughter’s grave. Without giving too much away that is when things take a surprising, creepy, and interesting fun turn. An amazing fun monster flick that you do not want to pass on as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

BBQ Massacre (YouTube) – A funny short film about four friends who learn the hard way of buying a RV off of a creepy dude as I give it 3 stars.

 

Vacation Campground Massacre (YouTube) – A short film that claims to be a true story about four women camping and being stalked by a man in a pillow case with a smiley face on it. The killer actually made me laugh a couple times as I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Barn Party Massacre (YouTube) – Two friends go to a barn to drink their asses off that looks like someone’s basement and of course owned by a homicidal maniac! Very uneventful short film as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #437

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Gross Movie Reviews #437

 

Bomb City (DVD) – A film based on a true story of punks who trying to mind their own business vs. the usual Texas football, so-called Christian family hicks in a town near Armadillo, Texas in 1997. The story revolves around a young man who may look like the typical punk on the outside but was an artist on the inside. He and his friends just didn’t fit in the typical way of life in this Texas town and one night, one thing led to another and a young man died. The kicker is the football that maliciously ran this kid down was a football player and served no jail time. Hell, he went to college! A really interesting true life story on film that needs to be seeked out by you as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Razorteeth (DVD) – Imagine the Polonia Brothers in 2004/2005 making a remake of “Piranha” and Jon McBride did the music? You have your movie… A government salvage mission of a sunken sub goes sideways when a package is retrieved from the wreckage but lost in a plane going down over a small town lake. The experimental killer fish comes to life and begins eating all that enter the water. Of course the government investigates to see how much they need to cover up or who to kill off? Kudos to the brothers for saying fuck the budget and still giving us weirdos that like ‘Killer Animal flicks’ a fun no budget film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Video Party Massacre (DVD) – A wonderful treat for fans of “The Video Dead” as this short film from 2014 shows the new generation how much fun the original film was? A man is delivered a T.V. he never ordered. He of course plugs it in to see how it is but it only plays one thing. No matter what channel he turns to it keeps playing the same movie. A black and white film with a man that has a machete and mask on and he is killing people. The man goes to sleep and the T.V. comes to life allowing this masked killer to exist in our realm. Great retro stuff as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Porn Shoot Massacre (DVD) – A hilarious take on the slasher genre that is set on one of the biggest porn shoots ever. A big time director is paying out a lot of money to bring in some high end talent for his picture. Problem is none of the talent is gonna leave as they are all being stalked and killed in the roomy set. Once the killing and boobs start it is your normal slasher film with a twist especially when one of the female stars is much smarter than what she is given credit for… Then it’s just a game of survival. A hilarious concept but I personally would have picked a few porn stars that may have pulled this feature off better as I give it 2 stars.

 

B-Documentary 2 (DVD) – Nick Charles is back with a sequel to his great documentary about the independent film world. With introduction done by Lloyd Kaufman of course, Nick and crew worked their asses off to get opinions and conversations from several actors, actresses, and filmmakers. Some are well-known and some are on the rise as they dig deeper in this documentary to help explain things to audiences that may not know what goes on in the independent film business. This time around we get: Gary Sherman, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Adam Green, Lynn Lowry, Tiffany Shepis, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Glen Coburn, James Balsamo, Mathew Fisher, Kevin Forte among several others. They were all asked questions such as “How they got started?” “How should future filmmakers get started?” “What is the key to make a successful movie?” You see where this going but the varying opinions is what amazed me because I could argue different points with each of the people interviewed but also agreed with several things that are said on this DVD. Viewers and filmmakers alike this isn’t just a ‘need to watch’ movie… People this is a ‘need to own right now’ documentary that gives you more than just an inside look of independent filmmaker but a peak into the lives of these celebrities you may not have had the pleasure of knowing or hearing of their experiences. I believe Nick and crew got the right mix of talent that is featured in this movie as they are all just different enough to make this work flawlessly. This absolutely perfect film documentary should be used in film school as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Soultaker (DVD) – A B-movie if there ever was one where Joe Estevez is ‘The Soultaker’ and Robert Z’dar is the ‘Angel of Death’. These two get into an argument when a group of people escape a car accident or so it seems. Once the group gets over the shock of somehow surviving the horrific accident they quickly find out they are not alone. As they are being chased by ‘The Soultaker’ they try to figure out why people can’t see them or hear them as the group tries to get home for the night. A very cheesy but entertaining flick for the B-movie lovers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Revenge of a Radioactive Reporter (DVD) – The film has a few titles but these were the other two that was mostly used during its 1990 release: Radioactive Reporter and Atomic Reporter. This Canadian film is about a reporter named Mike who is trying to break a story on a local power plant leaking toxic waste. He believes he has the evidence but needs someone from the plant to come out and say something to prove his findings. So when Mike is invited to the power plant the big corporate types have him killed or they think he is dead when Mike is kicked into the toxic waste. His girl Richelle is having a tough time getting over Mike’s death but the corporate big wigs have it out for her to since they are unsure what was said to her about the story? But a new hero of sorts is born or at least just for this movie as a disfigured Mike begins his disgusting gooey crusade to kill all the corporate types at the power plant! Yes it is the Canadian version of “Toxic Avenger” but don’t let that stop you from enjoying all the cool effects and just a fun horror movie about toxic waste. I give this feature 3 stars.

Klown Kamp Massacre (DVD) – May 15, 1991, Edwin the clown went on a murderous rampage at clown camp at Bonzo’s ranch. Many years later and Edwin who was never caught is enraged when the famous clown camp is opened again. Clowns come from all over to learn from the best but are being stalked and killed one by one. Pay attention because on purpose it is “Friday the 13th” with clowns but has a fun twist that makes the film concept fun in the end. This low budget horror film has a little bit of everything: blood and guts, bootleg Crazy Ralph, clown porn, not taking themselves too serious, and a little bit of talent to pull off a must-see massacre movie that I wasn’t expecting to be this damn entertaining! I enjoy finding gems like this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Three-way dance baby at The Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast!

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This week we welcome ADDISON BINEK of TROMASTERPIECE THEATER and MOVIES TO WATCH ON A RAINY SUNDAY on YOUTUBE on the show to talk about seemingly everyone’s new horror jam IT. Tim talks about a coming of age werewolf flick GINGER SNAPS.  And KYLE talks Satan, apartments, and the gates of hell in THE SENTINEL.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we have GARY HILL tagging along and talking about KINGSMEN 2:  THE GOLDEN CIRCLE.  Tim talks about a classic slasher starring one of our dudes Peter Spellos in Sorority house massacre 2.  And Kyle talks about one of the most discussed flicks in history in BLADE RUNNER.  We also talk our weekly rundown of what we watched, How Tim got fired from a podcast, and we answer all your crazy questions.  So download this show to give us more life, FUCKER!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Tim returns from our favorite place on planet Earth CINEMA WASTELAND with tales of insanity, drinking, and French Canadian Spookies.  We also talk about a 5 star American classic FIRST BLOOD.  And Tim visits one of those 8 films to die for in NIGHTMARE MAN.  We also have all the other fine ramblings that have brought us ZERO RONDO AWARDS!!!!!

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Its coming…

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Convention hours:
Friday 5pm to 10pm
Saturday 10am to 7pm
Sunday 11am to 5pm

http://www.horrorrealmcon.com

horror-realm

The countdown has begun horror fans… it’s coming!

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Our annual spring show debuts at a new home – the Doubletree By Hilton Greentree!

 

 This will be the ONLY Horror Realm convention of 2016 so don’t miss it!

 Hr

 Guests include:

 – Return of the Living Dead cast members:

ROTLD

 – Clu Gulager (Burt)

 – John Philbin (Chuck)

 – Brian Peck (Scuz)

 – Jewel Shepard (Casey)

 – Linnea Quigley (Trash)

 – Thom Mathews (Freddy)

 – Alan Trautman (Tarman)

 – Beverly Randolph (Tina)

 

Nightmare

 – Nightmare on Elm Street franchise cast members

 – Tuesday Knight (NOES 4: The Dream Master & New Nightmare)

 – Brooke Bundy (NOES 3: Dream Warriors & NOES 4)

 – Ken Sagoes (NOES 3 & NOES 4)

 – Beatrice Boepple (NOES 5: The Dream Child)

 – Erika Anderson (NOES 5)

 

 – Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, The Devil’s Rejects)

 – Tiffany Shepis (Sharknado 2, Tromeo & Juliet, Nightmare Man)

 – Mia Shepis (Tales of Halloween)

 – Diane Ayala Goldner (Feast II & III, Rob Zombie’s Halloween II)

 – Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp)

 – Author Mord McGhee (Murder Red Ink, Old Flames and Heroes)

 – Dan Kamin (Creepshow 2, Chaplin impersonator)

 – John Russo (Night of the Living Dead, My Uncle John is a Zombie)

 – Erin Brown aka Misty Mundae (Shock-O-Rama, Midnight Massacre)

 – Steve Rudzinski (Silver Spotlight Films)

 – Amy Lynn Best & Mike Watt (Happy Cloud Pictures)

 – Fred & Shelby Vogel (ToeTag)

 

 Ticket levels:

 – VIP – $100 – must be purchased in advance and limited to 50. Includes:

 One weekend pass

 Horror Realm tote bag with lots of goodies

 Horror Realm shot glass

 Souvenir badge with lanyard

 Exclusive limited edition convention poster

 T-shirt

 Priority seating at all panels

 Exclusive VIP party with open bar & appetizers

 

 – Weekend -$40

 – Friday – $15

 – Saturday – $20

 – Sunday – $10

 – Kids 12 and under are free with an adult admission.

 – Free single day admission for active duty military & veterans with valid ID.

 

 All ticket sales are final – no refunds

 

 Horror Realm moves to the Double Tree by Hilton Pittsburgh Green Tree hotel in 2016! Conveniently located at 500 Mansfield Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15205 off the Green Tree exit of I-376 (Parkway West), this three-star hotel features:

 • Ample free parking

 • Pets allowed ($50 non-refundable deposit)

 • Indoor pool & whirlpool

 • On-site convenience store & snack shop

 • Chocolate chip cookies for registered guests

 • Complimentary hotel shuttle to Pittsburgh International Airport

 

 We have a very special group rate of $109 plus tax per night (regularly $154 and up). You can reserve your room now at the link below or by calling 412-922-8400 and mentioning group code HRP.

 

http://doubletree.hilton.com/en/dt/groups/personalized/P/PITGTDT-HRP-20160304/index.jhtml

 

 Please visit Horror Realm’s web site (www.horrorrealmcon.com) for the hotel’s terms & conditions.

An ‘INTRUSION’ Just in Time for Halloween

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The horror slasher “Intrusion” will be released on DVD and blu ray in the U.S. and Canada on October 27th and soon after worldwide VOD.  

Intrusionposterpr

Fans can pre order the film right now at www.Intrusionmovie.com or http://sglmoviestore.com/horror/intrusion/ where a list of several mainstream retailer links are provided, along with where they’ll be for sale when the film releases on October 27th.

 

“Intrusion” stars Katie Stewart (Overtime, Revelation Trail), Lee Haycraft and Teresa Lawrence (Ace Ventura Jr, Beethoven’s Big Break).

 

Synopsis: Holly Jensen leads an overly dramatic life. It’s one that is spent trying to avoid her problems and forget the past. Best friend Kali has the perfect solution to making Holly feel better. It’s a game called “Wrong Number”. However, the man on the other end finds the joke less than funny and decides to play a game of his own. A game where Holly will become the pawn. It’s a character-driven thriller where everything has consequences and something as beautiful as a rose can be turned into any woman’s, worst nightmare.

 

 

The DVD and blu ray are loaded with special features that include:

-Trailer

-Commentary with Writer/Producer Craig Everett Earl, Katie Stewart, Lee Haycraft and Teresa Lawrence

-Photo Gallery

-Behind the Screams

-Sneak Peek at the upcoming Intrusion:Disconnected sequel due out in 2016 also starring Scream queen Tiffany Shepis  

Here is a link to the trailer to download in HQ if you desire.

http://www.filemail.com/d/qijaxlvbdtgllej

 

 

The trailer can also be seen on the official site at www.Intrusionmovie.com