Gross Movie Reviews #557

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Gross Movie Reviews #557

House of the Damned (DVD) – This early 60s creep fest has a man named Scott doing a favor for a friend by going to this out of the way place to do an architectural survey of a coastal castle. Once Scott retrieves keys to the “Rochester Place” some strange things seem to be happening but nothing too scary until a woman disappears. After some investigation we come to found out the castle was a haven for carnival workers who no longer had a home. Spooky with an odd ending makes me give this oddity 2 ½ stars.

Voodoo Apocalypse (DVD) – An independent production filmed in Spain with an ambitious idea of a Grindhouse film set in 1979 Mexico. Two cops: White Chocolate and Charlie Vargas team up to bring down an elusive drug dealer Jimmy Vanilla. The film loses some steam over time but overall is still a fun production that looks mostly watered down to American audiences since the theme has been done to death but I still give it 2 stars.

Piranha (DVD) – Another 70s film of the same name but has no relation to the wonderful Corman flick that stars William Smith as a bad ass hunter in Nicaragua. A brother/sister combo head to the jungle for a photo shoot and run across this bad ass hunter character in a bar and quickly become friends. Everything is pretty innocent enough until the hunter wants more and makes the siblings his prey. A slow build up but a fun payoff for this early 70s flick that I give 2 stars too.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (DVD) – This late 50s flick centers on a new wildlife officer working the swamp country where he believes a monster might be killing off local folk? Problem becomes very convincing when the locals see tentacles attacking and not the usual hungry gators! These monstrous things are kidnapping people so they will be food for these things later on as I give this executive produced Corman drive-in special 2 ½ stars.

Bleeding Steel (DVD) – A newer Jackie Chan film where after a huge shootout with Jackie and his team trying to protect a doctor and his experiment in protective custody. Shit goes south pretty quick and gets brutal… 13 years later and the fallout continues when this mad evil genius villain dude is in Sydney, Australia tracking down a teenager who supposedly has been implanted with the bio-blood and experimental heart. She is able to regenerate if needed reason for the evil genius tracking her down how many years later. After all these years Jackie Chan is still protecting her and can still kick ass at his advanced age as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Sudden Death (DVD) – Valarie Wells is a successful woman who one evening gets beat up and raped by two men who stole a taxi. With the lack of police help she of course goes all ‘Death Wish’ on dudes as she tracks down the two hoodlums who screwed her up. She gathers such a kill count she becomes known as “the dum dum killer”. No JCVD here but this 1985 direct-to-video flick packs enough revenge killings to keep the older audience interested as I give this lesser known VHS treat 2 ½ stars.

Blitz (DVD) – Jason Statham is a bad ass cop who gets the job done even if it means coloring outside the lines a bit but never crossing the line. He is warned by his superiors to keep a low profile after the latest incident has hit the papers but he is quickly brought back into the fold when a young man decides to be a cop killer. Barry wants to be known and wants to kill all cops brutally. Your usual cookie cutout action flick but Jason Statham always seems to make even the average action cop flicks worth watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (On Demand) – HOLY F’N SHIT! It took 24 years but yinz finally made a movie that is worthy of the games. There is no Ali Larter or Milla whoever… Point is yinz went with the idea of combining the first two games, making the film R-rated, and presto we finally got the horror film we all deserved. No, the films isn’t perfect but after what six, seven F’N ‘Resident Evil’ films I can actually sit and enjoy one… Yes kids, go support this so we get the sequel that is needed as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Candyman (On Demand) – So what do we call it? Remake, sequel, continuation… whatever you the viewer wanna call it, I want to call it a good movie. I enjoyed the respect the original got and how this present story not only connects to the original but ties in some of the social things of today’s world. I enjoyed the snide comments about present day things because they are all very relevant. It has been 30 years since the Candyman has been present but when a struggling artist finds the old ghetto of Chicago he falls down the rabbit hole of bringing Candyman to light again. I enjoyed the first film and I enjoy this film all the sequels are just filler but to the new viewers this should make you want to introduce yourself to Tony Todd and the underrated character of “Candyman” as I give this 3 stars.

Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (DVD) – Oh shit kids yinz need to see this as this sci-fi craziness from the mid-60s stars Basil Rathbone (go look that one up young people?) and it is set in year 2020! Fuck yeah I am in! Anyhow there is Moon colonies for astronauts to hang out while they make the jump to Venus so they can explore the planet. Once there they find all kinds of late night horror host fun with dinosaurs and shit that wants to eat them! All joking aside this is a fun cheesy flick to introduce to friends who like beer and movies as I give this 3 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – Holy crap I have never reviewed the original scary fuckin house flick that didn’t just affect me but a whole generation of people. The Lutz family supposedly buys a house and within 28 days a ghost, demon, etc. makes the family move out because they will die. Now, the source material is much scarier and sketchy than the actual film now that we all know too much? The film that made haunted house flicks still a thing has lost its luster now that I am revisiting it after many years. It has a great cast but I truly believe this film is dated and no way holds better than ‘The Exorcist’ or ‘The Omen’ but that is for a whole other conversation. Not saying avoid this horror classic but unlike some other horror greats time has not been kind to this feature that stars a James Brolin and Margot Kidder as I give it 2 stars (sorry horror fans).

Inferno (DVD) – Always looking to cleanse the palate or just trying to find some action flick only two people in a basement of a home in Nebraska I came across this freaking gem starring JCVD and Danny Trejo! Oh folks, this was like the “Price is Right” of action films as it was a gaggle full actors that were looking for a paycheck show up! The review would be two pages long if I listed all the familiar faces in this… But anyway JCVD aka Eddie is riding through the desert to go see his old war buddy to give him a present and advice on a journey? But some meth heads controlled by Larry Drake interrupt this journey and steal his present. Saved by Danny Trejo, Eddie seeks revenge and turns a small town on these half-wit drug dealers. A not well-known 1999 JCVD flick that is worth the search to watch as I give it 3 stars for the mere reason you could make this a drinking game every time you named a celebrity in this shit.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #437

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Gross Movie Reviews #437

 

Bomb City (DVD) – A film based on a true story of punks who trying to mind their own business vs. the usual Texas football, so-called Christian family hicks in a town near Armadillo, Texas in 1997. The story revolves around a young man who may look like the typical punk on the outside but was an artist on the inside. He and his friends just didn’t fit in the typical way of life in this Texas town and one night, one thing led to another and a young man died. The kicker is the football that maliciously ran this kid down was a football player and served no jail time. Hell, he went to college! A really interesting true life story on film that needs to be seeked out by you as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Razorteeth (DVD) – Imagine the Polonia Brothers in 2004/2005 making a remake of “Piranha” and Jon McBride did the music? You have your movie… A government salvage mission of a sunken sub goes sideways when a package is retrieved from the wreckage but lost in a plane going down over a small town lake. The experimental killer fish comes to life and begins eating all that enter the water. Of course the government investigates to see how much they need to cover up or who to kill off? Kudos to the brothers for saying fuck the budget and still giving us weirdos that like ‘Killer Animal flicks’ a fun no budget film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Video Party Massacre (DVD) – A wonderful treat for fans of “The Video Dead” as this short film from 2014 shows the new generation how much fun the original film was? A man is delivered a T.V. he never ordered. He of course plugs it in to see how it is but it only plays one thing. No matter what channel he turns to it keeps playing the same movie. A black and white film with a man that has a machete and mask on and he is killing people. The man goes to sleep and the T.V. comes to life allowing this masked killer to exist in our realm. Great retro stuff as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Porn Shoot Massacre (DVD) – A hilarious take on the slasher genre that is set on one of the biggest porn shoots ever. A big time director is paying out a lot of money to bring in some high end talent for his picture. Problem is none of the talent is gonna leave as they are all being stalked and killed in the roomy set. Once the killing and boobs start it is your normal slasher film with a twist especially when one of the female stars is much smarter than what she is given credit for… Then it’s just a game of survival. A hilarious concept but I personally would have picked a few porn stars that may have pulled this feature off better as I give it 2 stars.

 

B-Documentary 2 (DVD) – Nick Charles is back with a sequel to his great documentary about the independent film world. With introduction done by Lloyd Kaufman of course, Nick and crew worked their asses off to get opinions and conversations from several actors, actresses, and filmmakers. Some are well-known and some are on the rise as they dig deeper in this documentary to help explain things to audiences that may not know what goes on in the independent film business. This time around we get: Gary Sherman, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Adam Green, Lynn Lowry, Tiffany Shepis, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Glen Coburn, James Balsamo, Mathew Fisher, Kevin Forte among several others. They were all asked questions such as “How they got started?” “How should future filmmakers get started?” “What is the key to make a successful movie?” You see where this going but the varying opinions is what amazed me because I could argue different points with each of the people interviewed but also agreed with several things that are said on this DVD. Viewers and filmmakers alike this isn’t just a ‘need to watch’ movie… People this is a ‘need to own right now’ documentary that gives you more than just an inside look of independent filmmaker but a peak into the lives of these celebrities you may not have had the pleasure of knowing or hearing of their experiences. I believe Nick and crew got the right mix of talent that is featured in this movie as they are all just different enough to make this work flawlessly. This absolutely perfect film documentary should be used in film school as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Soultaker (DVD) – A B-movie if there ever was one where Joe Estevez is ‘The Soultaker’ and Robert Z’dar is the ‘Angel of Death’. These two get into an argument when a group of people escape a car accident or so it seems. Once the group gets over the shock of somehow surviving the horrific accident they quickly find out they are not alone. As they are being chased by ‘The Soultaker’ they try to figure out why people can’t see them or hear them as the group tries to get home for the night. A very cheesy but entertaining flick for the B-movie lovers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Revenge of a Radioactive Reporter (DVD) – The film has a few titles but these were the other two that was mostly used during its 1990 release: Radioactive Reporter and Atomic Reporter. This Canadian film is about a reporter named Mike who is trying to break a story on a local power plant leaking toxic waste. He believes he has the evidence but needs someone from the plant to come out and say something to prove his findings. So when Mike is invited to the power plant the big corporate types have him killed or they think he is dead when Mike is kicked into the toxic waste. His girl Richelle is having a tough time getting over Mike’s death but the corporate big wigs have it out for her to since they are unsure what was said to her about the story? But a new hero of sorts is born or at least just for this movie as a disfigured Mike begins his disgusting gooey crusade to kill all the corporate types at the power plant! Yes it is the Canadian version of “Toxic Avenger” but don’t let that stop you from enjoying all the cool effects and just a fun horror movie about toxic waste. I give this feature 3 stars.

Klown Kamp Massacre (DVD) – May 15, 1991, Edwin the clown went on a murderous rampage at clown camp at Bonzo’s ranch. Many years later and Edwin who was never caught is enraged when the famous clown camp is opened again. Clowns come from all over to learn from the best but are being stalked and killed one by one. Pay attention because on purpose it is “Friday the 13th” with clowns but has a fun twist that makes the film concept fun in the end. This low budget horror film has a little bit of everything: blood and guts, bootleg Crazy Ralph, clown porn, not taking themselves too serious, and a little bit of talent to pull off a must-see massacre movie that I wasn’t expecting to be this damn entertaining! I enjoy finding gems like this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details!