Tag Archives: Bigfoot

Gross Movie Reviews #592

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Christmas Craft Fair Massacre (YouTube) – In this Indy holiday flick we have an appearance of Glen Coburn and it was directed by someone named Max Raven… Anyhow a school is in question where the annual Christmas Craft Fair is held as it seems to be the center for satanic power and the worshipers are clashing on who deserves the ultimate power. But the principal is the ultimate bad guy here as he is looking for a pure soul for the offering and does not want to share the glorious power! The film doesn’t have a long running time but does have problems ever get going as I give this film 1 ½ stars (always great to see Glen Coburn).

Adult Swim Yule Log “aka The Fire Place” (HBO Max) – Looking for something that truly shouldn’t make as much sense as it does? Then you have found it in this fucking over the top crazy ass holiday horror! After a couple minutes of watching a fireplace, we get talking in the background, a cleaning lady being killed by two intruders, cops, a couple who rented the place and films the fireplace for a living, uninvited double booked guests, a possessed Yule log, sexual tension between all, and if that wasn’t enough aliens! Yes kids I believe that covers everything that goes down in only something the people behind “Adult Swim” could come up with so grab the popcorn as I believe this will become a holiday staple for years to come as I give this ultimate holiday weirdness 3 ½ stars.

On the Trail of Bigfoot: Last Frontier (Vimeo) – Writer and director Seth Breedlove takes a deep look with a documentary that dives into the bigfoot lure of Alaska. He interviews real people who tell stories of strange creatures that wander the Alaskan wilderness. The film is not dull by any means and will have Bigfoot film lovers gushing over this project as Seth and crew not just get great stories but bring in researchers for some expiations, again real normal people, but explaining the different regions of Alaska and how a lot of us in the lower 48 states may not understand how these strange creatures could actually exist there? I enjoyed the process of this film, the seriousness, and especially the feel of it as it brings back some memories of the Bigfoot stuff of the seventies. This has to be one of the more recent projects that actually had me entertained but truly interested. Bigfoot lovers should be on the lookout for this wonderful project as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Sewer Gators (DVD-R/YouTube) – Well it’s a week before the big gator festival in southern Louisiana and someone just got their ass eaten through their toilet (reminder it’s a joke that is mentioned several times during the film). Now the local drunk sheriff must investigate and stop this horrendous and vicious beast before it wrecks the big festival. No budget, cheesy as hell, not much blood, but lots of references to “Jaws” and I think there was one or two to “Alligator” unintentionally as I give this sloppy gator mess 1 ½ stars.

The Peanut Butter Solution (DVD) – An 80s film that for whatever reason I never seen as a kid or just never tracked down until recently (received a special edition recently after very hard to find for years). This New World Video release has a boy named Michael scared so bad in the burned out house down the street that he loses his hair. After his sister gets involved and they get a spell or such from some ghosts they use it to make a special peanut butter that makes Michael’s hair regrow but it doesn’t stop. Weird stuff happens with the art teacher, kids are disappearing, and apparently the house that burned is haunted. This is truly a weird ass film that could only have been released in the 80s like a “Saturday the 14th” but seeing it now doesn’t do the impact as it did then for people my age that grew up during that time. Glad to see it got a special edition and sure it has a small cult following like one of my favorites “Spookies” as I give this 80s weirdness 2 stars.

Violent Night (On Demand) – It is Christmas Eve and after a drunken stop in Bristol, England, Santa Claus is on his way to deliver presents believing this will be his last year as no one believes anymore. He makes it to the family ‘Lightstone’ compound to visit a little girl name Trudy and that is where a series of misfortunes for our holly jolly hero begin as his reindeer have left him. To make matters worse a group of mercs have descended onto the compound to steal 300 million dollars and they have Trudy as a hostage. Now a reluctant old Santa must make a choice of saving the family or just leave because this is none of his business? This is a wonderful, delightful, blood-filled Santa action flick that I know I will be watching every year around the holidays as the cast was perfect and the story never got dull as I give this film 4 stars! It is a holiday film with heart.

Burglar From Hell (DVD) – A much talked about SOV film from 1993 with a rabid fan base is about a man named Frank “the tank” who breaks into an old lady’s home only to be shot and killed during it. If that wasn’t enough poor Frank is buried in the backyard. Some time passes and some friends have a party at the house only to have a friend have a séance. Of course the young drunken people interrupt the process and up raises an undead Frank to go a murder spree as he rots away. Hilariously rough and gritty but definitely can see why the Indy community enjoys this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Runaway Train (DVD) – This 1985 flick has an all-star cast throughout about an older convict played by Jon Voight who shows up at a hard-nosed prison run by the warden played by Jon P. Ryan. From the beginning Voight’s character is planning to get out but he will need some help and that will be a young Eric Roberts who is more of a follower to the older convict. Once escaped it becomes a cat and mouse game between the warden and the two convicts as Voight finds a train for the two. But unforeseen circumstances happen as the conductor has a heart attack and falls off and now the two must decide do they stop it or let it ride to their doom? A well-constructed action/drama that I never heard much about but glad I got to see it as I give it 3 stars.

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (DVD/Shudder) – Thirty years after a dude butchers a young lady in a home and buries her under the floor boards his son comes to the house. He brings along a psychic and his girlfriend and they all find themselves trying to survive some evil supernatural shit! An enjoyable gooey mess from Japan in 1995 that is very “Evil Dead” inspired that will make international horror fans very happy it has had a wide release as I give it 3 stars.

Hell Roller (DVD) – A sleazy 1992 no budget flick that stars Mary Woronov, Michelle Bauer, Hyapita Lee, and Johnny Legend so of course this had my immediate attention. But the real star attraction of this film is our killer in a wheelchair! A dude in a wheelchair who is homeless, angry, having nightmares, and twitching goes on a murderous rampage after his adopted mother/aunt is raped and murdered one evening. This is one of those flicks that its content will not be for everyone but has an entertainment value of bad jokes, sleaze, and Michelle Bauer of course that will appeal to those who haven’t had the pleasure of watching yet? This entertained the shit out of me as I give it 3 stars and yes full movie is on YouTube… for now. Also I have one question after you watch this: Please explain to me how this wheelchair bound dude was always on a rooftop meeting people?

Baby Ghost (DVD) – Filmmaker Donald G. Jackson project that stars a Joe Estevez as a down on his luck photographer trying to help people escape a building that happens to have a ghost problem. This 1995 film feels more like an unfinished project where they had use of an empty building and eventually got bored and threw in a bad special effect ghost to sell the movie? If anything Conrad Brooks fans will enjoy “Three Stooges-lite” kind of comedy as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Mad Heidi (On Demand) – Casper Van Dien is the president of Switzerland who is trying to have scientists come up with a better cheese for their annual Swiss Day that can make super soldiers for him to control! If that one sentence doesn’t sell it to you then I suggest moving on because this hilarious Swissplotation goes well beyond the point of good taste and involves where the government is tracking down lactose intolerant people to imprison them. Meanwhile a beautiful lady named Heidi has just witnessed her boyfriend’s head exploded by an evil leader of the Swiss army and grandpa blown up. This only serves as inspiration for the young lady in prison to escape and start an uprising against the president and his vision for global domination! In the spirit of “Grindhouse” and “Sharknado” this movie goes for the throat on laughs and at times gore as Heidi slaughters her way to freedom as I give this film 3 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #588

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Dracula 1979 (Blu-ray) – Another retelling of the famous old blood sucker this time around starring Frank Langella the vampire from Universal Studios. Donald Pleasence among other great actors surrounds this adventure in vampire lure. Not my favorite version of Dracula but this film has great a great cast, bat attacks, a fun Dracula death scene, and great set design. Clearly Universal waited too late to compete with Hammer but put their best foot forward except with the part of Dracula. Frank is kind of an odd pick and it shows but don’t let that discourage you from seeking out the newer cleaned up versions of this 1979 flick because enjoy it for what it is. Looking back Frank should have been maybe their tenth pick as Dracula not first or second as everything else they did a great job with as I thought it was time to rewatch this flick and give it 3 stars.

Mr. No Legs (DVD) – I believe the first person that ever alerted me to this amazing gem of exploitation has to be popular writer and podcaster Ed Demko several years ago as he raved about this feature. This late 70s crime thriller is all about drugs and thugs but what separates it from the others is the man who plays the muscle for a crime boss is a man with no legs! But it doesn’t stop there as Mr. No Legs is reminded by his boss a couple times throughout the feature that he was the one that took care of him after his accident. But Mr. No Legs has something to prove and he is one bad ass sum of a bitch as he has shotguns built into his wheelchair, goes swimming with hot women, knows martial arts, and knows how to take care of loose ends. When Mr. No Legs isn’t on screen we have two cops Chuck and Andy that are following leads to find out about the one’s sister’s death which eventually leads them to a fight with Mr. No Legs and his boss! This movie is wacky and entertaining as hell and if that isn’t enough at one point one of the cops is stabbing a corvette with a sword during one of their big fights at the end as I give this wonderful wackiness 3 ½ stars.

Alien Private Eye (VHS) – This 1989 film is terrible but it’s hilariously wonderful if you couldn’t tell by the title? Anyway Lemro is an alien on Earth who spends his time on Earth as a private eye trying to pick up hotties with his crazy dance moves in alleys and his living room! But when his new hottie of a girlfriend Rene gets involved with an artifact that holds the info for a designer drug from his home planet it is time for Lemro to get to work and crack this case. Lemro quickly finds out he isn’t the only alien hanging out on Earth and must figure out whom to trust? This film has everything that will make you shake your head and giggle like a teenage girl which also includes Lemro shooting lasers from his wrists late into the film to save his girlfriend. Now the movie is super terrible, no lie, but I have to give it 2 ½ stars for entertaining the hell out of me and I dare you go seek this one out.

Amityville in Space (DVD) – As usual for all of those who are keeping track with me this is entry #40 where Mark Polonia is back once again and actually got a lot of press with this project late in the summer. Now saying that this wasn’t exactly movie gold like a “Leprechaun 4: In Space”. This time around a priest has decided to take the fight to the haunted house one final time as they bill it ‘Good vs. Evil’. During the battle the demonic house gets bored and forces its way out of existence only to reappear in the year 3015 near a black hole where the space cruiser “Wyoming 227” is trying to decide if they should zap it out of existence? No dice kids’ as usual dumb white people gotta still go into the haunted ass house even in space and of course the space travelers are hit with unspeakable evil and oh yeah they find the priest hanging out in a closet. I won’t bore you with all the great details of why this makes sense but bottom line even in 3015 they are still unsure how to rid the world of this evil and believe me Polonia made sure there is room for a sequel. To me this entry feels like Polonia tried to put some thought into it like his “Deathhouse” entry but just falls flat. I don’t blame him for trying something new in the “Amityville” series, just feels he may have needed more help to pull off this venture as I give it 1 ½ stars for what it could have been…

The Snow Devils (DVD) – A mid-60s flick where the polar ice caps are melting because of some space Yetis and their invention from their home planet that they fucked up years ago! Alien Bigfoots I am in as I have to give this adventure 2 ½ stars.

Winterbeast (Blu-ray) – A film like “Spookies” that was started, never finished, and then restarted again over a couple of years has found its cult audience recently with its new Blu-ray release. Apparently a monstrous Native American legend is Claymation and pissed off as these odd shaped monsters are killing good folk at a popular mountain lodge. Throw in a dumb forest ranger and you got a movie that most of us are totally sure what it’s all about but enjoy the hell out of it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Ninja (Blu-ray) – Scott Adkins is Casey, an orphaned American teenager who was taken into a legendary dojo that still teaches the way of the ninja. After a falling out with another pupil Masazuka Casey heads to New York from Japan to protect the Yoroi Bitsu or the treasure/weapons of the ninja. If you are a fan of titles “American Ninja” or “Enter the Ninja”? Welcome to a new generation of badassery kids because Scott Adkins and crew put on a show as this isn’t any 80s hokey shit going down Dudikoff as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Ninja II (Blu-ray) – Casey is back and living the life as the new master of the dojo, has a wife, and has just recently found out a kid soon to come. But things are not well when Casey comes home one evening going out for his pregnant wife to find her murdered. Then the rest of the movie becomes one bad ass fight for revenge as Casey after fucking up people in Japan heads to Thailand to obliterate all in his path to satisfy his thirst for revenge as I give the sequel 3 stars.

Creature from Black Lake (Blu-ray) – This 1976 film known to Bigfoot fans takes place in the swamp and small town of Louisiana called Oil City. Two college students from the University of Chicago convince someone to fund their little expedition to Louisiana to investigate and try to prove the existence of a creature called Bigfoot? After hearing about multiple reports of a man losing his friend to a swamp creature they want to study it. Once there of course the two college students stick out like a sore thumb and just try to do their thing without stirring up any trouble as they are in a different country basically. After not much success investigating and only hearing sounds outside of a barn they run into old local Joe Canton who points them in the right direction. That is when the two college boys come face to face with the local swamp creature legend and now just trying to survive its attacks! Only had the pleasure of seeing this feature as a youngster during the mid-80s not remembering any of it most likely because like most fans we all remember “Legend of Boggy Creek”. That film is usually the first that comes to everyone’s mind who grew up at time so cool titles like this get overshadowed. Well now is the time to rediscover this Bigfoot film as Synapse Films has taken the painstaking task of putting a special edition out and it looks unbelievable! This might be one of their best jobs to date with this cleanup of the film and adding a couple extras that will make fans very happy: commentary from Mike Gingold and Chris Poggali, and more importantly “Swamp Stories” with Dean Cundey which is informative, entertaining, and cool how the film was taken in by this small community at the time. Great stuff as I give this package 4 out of 4 stars and available at www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Gross Movie Reviews #545

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Gross Movie Reviews #545

Endangered Species (DVD) – One of horror’s favorite directors Kevin S. Tenney found some time to direct this clone of ‘I Come in Peace’ that stars Arnold Vosloo, Eric Roberts, and John Rhys-Davies. This film was also released in some countries under the title ‘Earth Alien’. Anyway, Sully the detective and others are working on a case where the killer likes to kill but collects victims that are deemed “perfect”. Thus said killer is known as “The Hunter” and Sully must team with “Warden” the good alien to bring this dude down before his killing spree goes global! It is like this 2002 release was a direct-to-video flick that got lost for a decade then showed when everyone forgot it exists as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Bigfoot (DVD) – A weirdo family flick directed by Kevin S. Tenney in 2009 that has one of the weirdest casts and plot that don’t seem to fit together. Richard Tyson and Angie Everhart are parents to a teenager named Percy who wants to impress the cute girl from school. An event presents itself for Percy to show up the school dropout/bully with the big truck that involves chasing Percy with the truck through the woods. Percy wrecks and the bully believes they (his sidekick and himself) have lost the kid so they turn back. Meanwhile, Percy knocked out gets rescued by Bigfoot who has left his dense forest where no one goes because of wildfires (or at least I think that is why). Percy and Bigfoot of course become friends, hangout together, and Percy at one point has to stand up to the bully with friends to save Bigfoot from the bully. The film is corny and hilariously interesting because it looks like someone from Tenney’s effects crew stole the Bigfoot costume from the ‘Harry and the Henderson’s’ film. This film is not a horror film by any means but a wonderful side trip worth watching for the mere weirdness this flick isn’t that old and never remember hearing about it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Enemy Territory (DVD) – An Empire Pictures film I never knew existed that stars the likes of Tony Todd, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Ray Parker Jr. (yes, you heard me right). A white insurance dude is sent to the ghetto aka Lincoln Tower to get a signature on a big policy which translates into a huge commission for him. But whitey is in the wrong place at the wrong time because no one no matter what color a person is a gang called “Vampires” run the building! As the Vampires chase whitey through the building, whitey finds help from a telephone repair man who is a jack of all trades and believes this man needs saving. They work down level by level either to avoid the Vampires or find help from a willing resident. The film comes off like a campy siege movie that might not be as brutal as some movies of similar plot but still provides enough entertainment to pour through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Martians Go Home (DVD) – A late 80s comedy… maybe, which has Randy Quaid as Mark Devereaux: writer and composer of music for commercials, films, TV shows, etc., but haven’t had that big break yet. After Mark heads to the cabin to work on his big time music and he is visited by a Martian as almost every other person on the planet at the same time. The Martians have shown up to create chaos in the world and in a short period they have done that. But what the Martians don’t anticipate is when Mark’s music is played backwards it sends the Martians home. If you enjoy some weird ass Randy Quaid stuff you have found your peak here as I give this feature 2 stars.

Pizza Girl Massacre (DVD) – I was so delighted to get my hands on this as it was one of the originals on my “Massacre list” that I have been trying to get a hold of to watch and review. Funny thing is this feature happens to be a found footage film about a documentary crew who were following a community theatre group who is rehearsing for their upcoming adaptation of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. After Jason the director has hit on all the women in the theatre group they decide it is better to rehearse at a cabin in the middle of the woods. The documentary crew of course follows and we get a lot of hilarious weirdness of Jason the director interacting with the rehearsals… But everything changes during the bonding trip when they order pizza and Jason refuses to pay the bill because he claims the pizza is late? Or simply because the odd looking young pizza girl isn’t responding to a shirtless Jason who is still trying to get his grove on with someone! This of course makes the pizza girl disappear only to come back angry, armed with a pizza cutter and then unleash her psycho energy on the actors in the cabin. Best way to describe this fun mess is if ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ was a found footage film with a pizza girl… Great job of this bloody mess as it was well worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

The Creation of the Humanoids (DVD) – A fun post-apocalyptic flick from the 60s where humans are going extinct but believe the robots they built are to blame. But we come to find out the robots are actually trying to help but cannot stop the extinction of humans. Most likely a drive-in favorite as it has that feel to it but for the love of Rutger Hauer stick around for the last ten minutes as the movie gets really heavy. It makes you really think about this plot as gets more interesting than ever has a right to be as I have to give this film 3 stars.

Zillafoot (DVD) – A new independent feature written and directed by Anthony Polonia who uses the Godzilla storyline as the backdrop of this story about Zillafoot. Aliens come to Earth to release a monster to terrorize the humans. As the Army struggles with the fact aliens do exist and now there is a giant monster on Earth that threatens all of human kind, scientists head to the woods to investigate. Bad CGI, dumb military, rubber suit monsters to set up a sequel, and aliens rubbing boob-like computer instruments way too much in this feature are the highlights as I don’t know if they are spoofing Godzilla or paying homage to Godzilla in some weird way. I have seen better from lesser known independent filmmakers as I only could give this difficult film to get through 1 star.

The Last House on Massacre Street (DVD) – Most people that seen this flick in the 70s would know it as ‘The Bride’ but for me I like this title so much more. Barbara is the only daughter of a very rich man who runs a highly successful firm where Barbara’s latest beau (David) works at. Father doesn’t like she is with David and warns her about him but knows Barbara is way old enough to make her own decisions as she has just built a house that fits her personality. Barbara and David quickly get married and David doesn’t even wait to after the wedding day to bang his old fling when Barbara walks in on them during the wedding party. After a scissors incident Barbara disappears for two weeks and then begins her torture of David and his mistress. But what makes this film weird and maybe even like a dreamlike state was Barbara and David dead after the scissors incident and she still haunts him in the afterlife??? Oh yeah kids this movie was surprisingly good even after all these years later as I give this feature 3 stars.

Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.

The Day the Earth Stopped (DVD) – C. Thomas Howell writes and directs an Asylum project that someone should have stopped him from making this mistake. Two aliens crash land on Earth and several evil robots show up all over the world and it’s up to a military man in C. Thomas Howell to explain humanity to a hot ass alien babe or the world dies! Apparently Judd Nelson needed a paycheck and stopped in this turd which still didn’t make this boring mess any better as I give it 0 stars.

A Cure for Wellness (DVD) – An odd flick where old rich people go to a magical castle in the Swiss Alps to be cured of something. So Lockhart a young man who just got promoted is tasked with finding his CEO Mr. Pembroke at this place and brings his ass back to New York to sign off on a huge merger. But Lockhart finds much more as there is something about a father/daughter incest plot and people living 200 years longer after a fire. Honestly the movie started off interesting but slowly got dull with not much payoff. Now, I stayed with it to the end but felt like there should have been so much more but that might just be me as I am also not a fan of ‘Hereditary’ but let’s not go back down that rabbit hole as I give this 2 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #511

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Gross Movie Reviews #511

 

Deep Blue Sea 3 (On Demand) – This time around has Dr. Collins and her team working the summers at a shark nursery where sharks come by to give birth. The crew is studying the effect of climate change and what is happening to the sharks but a wrench is thrown in the study when Dr. Collins ex-boy toy shows up. The ex and mercs are there because they been tracking the experimental sharks that got away and they need to kill them or capture them by any means! Being the third in the series this sequel doesn’t take a chance but also doesn’t fuck up as it sticks to the formula of recent cheap shark film releases as I give it 2 stars.

 

Tenebrae (DVD) – An early 80s release from Dario Argento where a popular American writer heads out to Rome for a tour of his latest book. Once there things get weird as a serial killer is killing people the same way they are killed in his book. Slowly people connected to the popular writer are being murdered and the police have no clue. But with each death getting closer to the writer and his curiosity getting the better of him he begins investigating who could be the killer? Call it a Giallo, call it a murder/mystery, whatever you consider this horror flick it is considered one of the favorites among Argento fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy (DVD) – A few doctors open up a tomb and find an Aztec codex that could lead to a fortune but now these same people fear for their lives as the Black Dragon have got involved. The Black Dragon is a gang of evil dudes who want the gold for themselves and begin killing the doctors for the codex. The last person left with access to the codex enlists two bad ass women wrestlers to help him keep the codex from the evil Prince Fujiyata who heads the Black Dragon. So the group breaks up the codex in a few pieces even though the Prince gets ahold of most of the pieces he is faced with having his judo-fighting sisters wrestle the women wrestling stars in a match for the whole codex! Good of course defeats evil but that isn’t enough as the evil Prince still keeps tabs on the crew as they use the codex to search the tomb and instead of treasure or gold they must face off an Aztec mummy! The 1964 film has its moments and feels like something you may have seen Saturday afternoons on Commander USA during the 80s but it does not have the fun factor of the Santo films as I give it 2 stars.

 

Chainsaw Cheerleaders (DVD) – A mid-2000s flick from independent filmmaking legend Donald Farmer about a witch played by Tiffany Shepis, who casts a spell at her death 500 years ago for her soul to survive forever. Now present day we are introduce to an angry redhead named Dawn who is about to turn 18 and just got screwed over by her boyfriend. Of course Dawn doesn’t take kindly to this and tries to cave in her ex-boyfriend’s face which she is faced with go to jail or join the cheerleader squad. Dr. Lacey played by Debbie Rochon believes it would be good for Dawn in the long term if she can do this. Begrudgingly Dawn joins and her first task is to help the squad sell magazines door-to-door. Well Dawn knocks on the wrong door where she witnesses the witch Lucinda to be conjured up through a portal to her time and now Lucinda wants the angry redhead. Now anybody that gets in-between the two just becomes a part of a bloody path that Lucinda makes on her way to Dawn. Throughout the film Dawn is narrating the story and I do not know if this actually makes the movie better, worse, or just something to move the story along. The film has its fun bloody moments, but could have used more chainsaw (since that was in the title), more Tiffany Shepis as Lucinda (she disappears for various reasons throughout), and the rest seemed like filler at times. I enjoy Donald Farmer’s work but a lot of times it feels uneven to me and what the script calls for and what makes it too film could be two different things? Anyway, it has boobs, blood, and a non-running chainsaw most of the time so see if you feel different about the film than I do as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Science Crazed (DVD) – A man named Dr. Frank injects an unwilling woman with his new formula that makes her pregnant and gives birth to a full grown human within hours! I wouldn’t say human as much as a human monster as he hides his face with toilet paper wrapped around his head. This monster stalks the hallway of a building for most of the film after killing Dr. Frank. With each door that the fiend opens in the same hallway that is shown comes a new situation of human or humans to kill in the most hilarious of ways. My favorite might be the first of follies in this film as we have random aerobics class that has two people go on for ten minutes! I honestly believe this may have been stock footage of someone leaving the camera on and eventually they edited it in because they needed more filler? As the scene goes on I believe all the talking going on in the background is the crew preparing the scene or another scene? Or the runner up scene of the woman who dry humps the fiend for five minutes in a random room! But it gets worse as the fiend enters a cheap motel pool area where only two people can be in the scene at once like a Nintendo game that could only have so many characters on screen at once or everything would slow down… If you are not laughing enough the big reveal at the end when the monster/fiend is unmasked of his toilet paper mask and reveals he looks like someone’s boob with peanut butter smeared all over it. This movie was so terrible it became entertaining and remarkable that someone wanted to issue a special edition of the film and for that I thank those people in charge and give this horrible thing we call a film 2 ½ stars… just because it was that damn funny.

 

Army of Frankensteins (DVD) – Just in case you were worried I don’t abuse myself enough I decided to watch this flick completely sober and that was a mistake I paid for dearly. This recent take on the Mary Shelley story has an old mad scientist who has taken in an orphan that he named Igor of course. This old dude is busy working on a present day Frankenstein and with the help of the kid/orphan he removes an eye from a healthy male who just got turned down by his girlfriend in a grocery store. Of course one thing leads to another as a switch is pushed and we have a portal open from a possible parallel dimension where cloned Frankies just roam the countryside helping the South fight in the Civil War. All get pulled through this portal and they must help the North win the war and possibly save Lincoln! This was possibly the dumbest movie I watched in the past decade and shame on the critics who try to claim this is a B-movie in waiting. That is fucking horseshit as this movie is a big old pile of shit as I give it 0 stars.

 

Black Water: Abyss (On Demand) – Since I can’t get enough of killer crocodile movies I knew I needed to watch this long awaited sequel from Australia that has nothing to do with its predecessor. This around a group of people go spelunking into an unknown cave in hopes of finding something they could make money off of doing tours. But a hideous rain storm causes a cave-in and now they are trapped inside with the water rising and a hungry pissed off croc! If you are looking for a serious “animal attacks film” this should fill the void? Or if you are me you want the actress that plays Jennifer in the movie to die 30 seconds in and I almost got it but it was just a tease… Damn filmmaker as I give this serious giant croc film 2 ½ stars.

Monstrous (On Demand) – Two things before we begin this review: first, yes, it is a Bigfoot film. Second, anything I say after this will spoil the sort of twist it has going for it? Anyway if you are still reading two women meet through a craigslist ad to travel from Michigan to Whitehall, New York in the Adirondack Mountains. Sylvia only takes up the offer with Alex because her brother firmly believes this is the same person that was with his girlfriend Dana before she died. The two travel through a couple states and begin to have a connection but Sylvia still feels like she must lie why she is with Alex until they reach their destination. An isolated cabin in the mountains and finally Sylvia comes clean why she is there while Alex comes clean about the Sasquatch that stalks the outside of her cabin. There are glimpses of the Sasquatch trying to get to the cabin but is not happy when Sylvia’s brother shows up and then it gets real interesting as Sylvia learns by accident Alex is a serial killer! It takes a little while to get where they are going but the payoff was really interesting and that was why I feel bad even writing about the film because it is literally one of those movies you will spoil it soon as you start talking about it. A different concept for an often used creature in horror films recently and really enjoyed the payoff as I give the Bigfoot film 3 stars.

 

Killer Raccoons! 2! Dark Christmas (On Demand) – Holy Rutger Hauer, filmmaker Travis Irvine has earned my respect for not only making a killer raccoon movie. But he did it while doing a parody of ‘Under Siege 2: Dark Territory’! We normal lunatics smell our own… But really prisoner Ty Smallwood now named Casey has just got released from jail after serving ten years for underage drinking. He is jumping on a train to Washington D.C. to hang with his dead girlfriend’s sister to explain what happened on the camping trip several years ago? As Darlene wants answers Ranger Rick Danger takes over the train with his raccoon assassins so they can steal data to hold the U.S. hostage while they sell secrets to foreign powers just like the Steven Seagal less liked sequel. Travis and crew not only deliver the goods but I couldn’t stop laughing as film continued on with the Killer Raccoons being the focus throughout unless it was Casey Smallwood. The effort, the passion, and raccoons trained by the C.I.A. with mini machine guns made this the holiday comedy to watch in 2020 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #509

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Gross Movie Reviews #509

We Summon the Darkness (DVD) – Holy balls this film was fucking great! The film is set in Indiana, 1988 following three young ladies who are heading to a heavy metal concert. Along the way we keep hearing on the radio about some satanic murders sweeping the mid-west. The three metal goddesses reach the concert and meet three metalhead dudes and they all seem to get along. After the concert the boys are invited back to Alexis’ house or her father’s house to be precise. They start drinking and play a little game that gets a little risky. But things get a little weird as the boys pass out and awake inside a room full of bloody pentagrams and that is where the fun begins. The cast, story, effects, and the ending are a wonderful blast. I would like to tell you more about the film but I rather not ruin it for your viewing pleasures? Put it this way this film is another entry into my “Best of 2020 list” as I give it 4 stars.

 

In Search Of: Pittsburgh Bigfoot (Vimeo) – When you have no money, know a bunch of people who want to be actors, and your passionate about your project you get what filmmaker Luther Cosmo Ickes Jr. gets… a hilarious and entertaining independent movie about Bigfoot. Or is it Bigfoots? Don’t know that is always a conversation that gets started whenever I review a Bigfoot movie and plus this project has multiple Bigfoot/Bigfoots! Anyway three yinzers are interested in the latest Pennsylvania sightings of Bigfoot. They wait out for spring since the winters can be gawd damn cold around here n’at. So the three chums head to the woods for some camping, illegal or legal drug use depending how much now that Pa. has turned the corner on that stuff, and looking for evidence of Bigfoot. Oh these three are not the only yinzers looking for Bigfoot apparently the Devil is also according to the witch of the woods and a goat dude with a giant dong! Of course this spells hijinks for the yinzers in the woods as they get lost, screwed up on shrooms, and find themselves in a war between the Devil and the Bigfoots as Bigfoots hitch a ride to the burgh. Lou tries to bond and save these creatures but in the end we all know what happens when the church tries to get involved. The film has many flaws but that is the beauty of Luther’s film: it is a film you grab friends, a case of beer and enjoy its glory because it isn’t going to win an Oscar for the love of Rutger Hauer it’s a gawd damn Yinzer Bigfoot movie as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Relic (On Demand) – So grandma goes missing for a few days and ma and daughter come to her home to hang out in the moldy home. Or as the wife put it: a very long and boring version of ‘Stranger Things’. Take it for what it is as not a whole lot goes on except Grandma is sick and there is something wrong with the house. For me there just wasn’t any payoff after watching this long buildup of a movie as I give it a ½ star.

 

Amityville Island (DVD) – Mark Polonia goes to the “Amityville well” again as a mother of four moves into the cheap area only to become possessed and murder her kids. Sent to prison and on death row she is forced to fight in the basement of the place so it could be streamed for creeps. If that wasn’t enough she is then transferred to some scientist weirdos that label her as Patient 59. Unbeknownst to her captors and weird scientist dudes she is still possessed by the Amityville curse whatever that is? Along the way we meet a freelance reporter who is trying to connect all the murders over the years and how they connect to Patient 59? Don’t get me wrong I love the Polonia Brothers but this film truly feels it is all over the place but really doesn’t have a plot. Also what doesn’t help is I get a possessed shark for three seconds. I felt cheated folks! The shark is on the gawd damn box art! I wanted 75 minutes of an Amityville possessed shark is that too much to ask so in saying that I can only give this Mark Polonia film 1 star because I know Mr. Polonia can do better.

 

D-Railed (DVD) – It is Halloween and there is nothing like a “Murder Mystery Train” party going down where people pay to be a part of dinner and a ‘who done it” play. This is an expensive dinner party so you have to dress the part but as everything is about to start with the train roaring down the tracks a real robbery takes place. Events unfold quickly as people try to stop the robbery with a few people getting shot and the train derailing into a lake bed. The survivors trying to help each other and see if they can get to land easily must contend with a creature looking to consume them. Doesn’t have a strong ending but does have Lance Henriksen explain a few things when needed as I give this neat little horror film 2 ½ stars.

 

Thunder 3 (VHS) – Or as the film is also known to most ‘Thunder Warrior III’. Mark Gregory returns as Thunder for the third time to help defend his Native American community. This time around some racist weekend warrior townsfolk get ahold of Thunder and abuse him and his people. Thunder wanting to do this the right way takes it to the cops and demands money to replace their homes. But the racist townsfolk want none of it so Thunder once again goes all Rambo on their asses and ruins the town until they pay up for revenge. It was pretty much the same as the last two entries but somehow made to look cheaper and less action in some ways as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Raindrops (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst never rests as he has yet another new short film. This time around a plot about a gentleman who is slowly driven insane by raindrops on the window seal. This man soon reacts in a very horrific way in order to remedy the problem. Philip’s shorts get to the point quickly and usually star him as it seems he is challenging himself or teaching different things about filmmaking to himself. I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. His Facebook and YouTube page usually have links to his independent film work that is well worth checking out.

Are You in the House Alone?! (DVD) – I never seen this 1978 after school horror special that starred a young Dennis Quaid. And a little sneaky bastard he is. Gayle is newer to the high school as her parents moved to the neighborhood because it was supposed to be safer and have a safer school for Gayle. Gayle finally getting back into the dating game at the urge of her best friend finds a guy at school that really fits her. But at the same time Gayle is being left nasty notes in her locker and crank calls at her home late in the evening. Gayle with help from her best friend blows it off quickly but as it escalates Gayle becomes worrisome and even goes to the school principal. She is being stalked on her dates and her babysitting job which sets her up to be raped. But instead of her going all “Death Wish’ on the person she finally gets her revenge by proving to people he is an asshole rapist that even his rich family couldn’t get away with. The film opens up with Gayle being taken to the hospital then flashes back to tell the story up until then. The film tries its clever ass off to make you think it is several different people and well worth the payoff as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Black Cobra 2 (DVD) – Never mind I didn’t watch the first flick cause I cannot help myself when it comes to sequels. Anyhow Fred Williamson is a hard-nosed Chicago cop in this Eye-talian action thriller. After Lt. Robert Malone gets himself into an incident with him gunning down a criminal he finds himself in an exchange program with the Philippines. After arriving in the Philippines and getting his wallet stolen he partners up with Nicholas Hammond (TV 70s Spider-man himself). This is when I thought I was in for an excellent action bonerjam! Instead I was in for a limp action flick where it looked like not just Fred but all involved were just going through the motions. It seems the plot of the story is the two go down the rabbit hole of the stolen wallet leads them to a criminal ring of drugs, robbery, and some z-grade violence. One good thing came out of this film and that is we get to see a dude get shot in the dong! I am a huge Fred Williamson fan and 70s Spider-man fan but this was pretty much a dud as I have to give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #453

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Gross Movie Reviews #453

 

Night of the Demon (YouTube/DVD) – A professor and his students are studying the Bigfoot and its legend behind it head out to the woods. In these woods there are stories of Bigfoot sightings they are trying to investigate to decide for themselves if it is just a hoax? Along the way the professor tells the stories that have told about encounters with Bigfoot in these woods that include: Bigfoot airplane spinning a camper and ripping a dude’s dick off! Even though Bigfoot looks like a giant Irish setter that doesn’t stop him from fucking up some Girl Scouts, having Bigfoot vision like Predator, and apparently Bigfoot was so horny he rapes a young lady in the woods. Some hilarious and entertaining shit that is worth revisiting folks as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Devil’s Express (YouTube) – Some crazy ass mid-70s exploitation that involves a martial arts master, a New York street gang, and a Chinese demon that hangs out in the subway system. People are beginning to die in the subways after this master… Luke comes back home from China and this demon follows him some way, somehow. After his best friend is killed by the demon not a street gang Luke takes it upon himself to seek out the entity and end it. The films starts off slow but stick with it as some entertaining shit gets thrown screen in the second half of the film. I give this flick 3 stars.

 

No Escape Room (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Karen and her father get one weekend a month together and Karen is in her teenager stage of not caring what parents want. When their car breaks down and unsure of what to do until it gets fixed they decide to go a small town “Escape Room”. Karen’s friends have talked about it and dad feels this is a good way to bond. Once there they are with a few other people and the game begins as they only have 60 minutes to get through the spooky house. As they search for keys to move from room to room some freaky things begin to happen and people playing go missing. A little above average horror film that makes you question if any of the events in the film actually happen or not at all? I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dementia 13 (Remake/DVD) – Very surprised to learn there was a remake of the 1963 classic and this version sticks close to the original concept. An abusing rich husband is killed off by his beautiful wife. A couple weeks go by and the husband’s family arrives at the castle for a weird yearly memorial. The family never approved of the wedding but the wife did not care as she had plans with all the money. But the plot thickens when she killed soon after the family arriving by a hooded figure. A horror film about rich people’s problems with enough blood spilled and a twist to satisfy the curious viewer as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Amazon Hot Box (DVD) – A crowd-funded project about an innocent college student name Penny who is thrown into prison with a few other women for a minor misunderstanding. This prison isn’t a normal prison as it is all “Reform School Girls” inside and Penny is the prize. The island is called Rattica and Warden Inga Von Krupp runs the place in order to carry out her experiments. By the way the evil warden is played perfectly by Ellie Church. In her short career she is making an impact in cinema and people are taking notice. Anyway Krupp enjoys experimenting on the inmates. But Krupp is totally unaware Penny is a KS-13 agent who has been trying to infiltrate the prison to bring it down as another agent tries to break in. The government wants this illegal operation to be brought down. The film is a throwback of sorts to the ‘women in prison’ movies. It’s fun, entertaining, tries its best to hit all the right scenes, but outside Ellie Church’s performance the movie is average as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Sorority Slaughter House (DVD) – A project that stars Eric Roberts, directed by David DeCoteau, and written by Rolfe Kanesky that wasn’t produced by Full Moon somehow. Eric Roberts stars as a dean of a college long enough to commit suicide and have his spirit transferred to a clown doll. After a sorority girl played with his emotions the dean now 12 inches tall decides it is his time to go murder a few sorority girls. The movie gets a little dull in the sense we have seen this horror film one too many times but the highlight for me was I believe the movie was made at the same house in “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” and for that I will always enjoy David DeCoteau. It’s bad but a fun bad as I give it 2 stars and don’t forget to look for the nerdy girl using the clown as “an appliance with no quit”…

 

Truth or Dare (SyFy Channel/DVD) – No one cared except the select few cult horror fans know of the Tim Ritter film of the same until this past year where somehow we got two films of the same name but went different directions with the concept. This version goes the twisted route where they make up some simple movie rules for the game that teenagers play. Thirty some years later after a game of Truth or Dare went very tragic some college kids rent the place where it took place and decide to play the game and party. But the game gets out of control quickly as they all get upset with each other and begin to get injured or die because they didn’t do the dare. A demon within the home waits for that certain group of people to latch on and not let go until they all die. Wasn’t expecting much from the movie but was much better than it should have been as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scream for Help (DVD) – This weird version of “The Stepfather” and “ABC After School Special” is pretty sleazy and written by Tom Holland in 1984. A 17 year old Christie Cromwell believes her new step father is trying to kill her and her mother. Christie always felt Paul Fox was good looking enough to steal her mother away but had a feeling he wanted her money more. Since no one believes Christie she goes on a crusade to convince her mother he is cheating on her. Once Christie has proof and her mother does believe her, Paul Fox and another couple who are supposed to be brother and sister decide it is time to purge these two! This weirdo flick gets 2 stars and little known fact is the film was only released on DVD within the past few months.

 

Beyond Atlantis (YouTube) – Sid Haig in an early 70s flick as a pimp who finances a trip for treasure on an island where they encounter natives with big ass eyeballs and a woman that must reproduce! No need to say more as I give it 3 stars.

 

Death Machines (DVD) – An Asian woman and her three assassins have taken over a sleazy city. If you want to put out a hit on someone you must go through her now as her unstoppable assassins cannot be killed. But off course the three men are getting restless with the dragon lady so they kill her and grab a train ticket. Not a whole lot to the film but it does have some entertaining parts as I give it 2 stars.

 

Blood Lake (YouTube/VHS) – A really bad shot-on-video slasher flick about a group of people who head out a vacation spot for some partying. The party is cut short when a deranged killer shows up to start killing people in the group. The acting is bad, the lighting is bad; I think I do better camera work, so I think I really enjoyed this bad movie as I am Tim Gross and I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Ghosts (DVD) – A classic horror from 1960 about a family who inherits a supposedly haunted mansion. The mansion is a home to ghosts that their relative brought from all over the world. Even though the family is haunted by the restless spirits there are even more evil forces at work here trying to get the money that is hidden within the home? I give the classic 3 stars.

Dick Johnson and TommyGun vs. The Cannibal Cop (Blu-ray) – With a title like that you always have my attention just because but it never hurts to have Debbie Rochon and Danny Hicks in your cast also. The movie opens with a woman being abducted in an alley way by a serial killer posing as a police officer. After a detective (TommyGun) gets a piece of info about this he is partnered up with a younger detective Dick Johnson. Together these two are given the go ahead to track down all leads on the case as details have already been leaked to the public. What helps the two unlikely partners is a book made of flesh that was found inside a dufflebag left in the alley way. In Latin the book explains that the killer will keep abducting victims and eating them until he has a hundred souls and he will become a god. As the two detectives set their differences aside to get deeper into the investigation the story takes a nice weird twist. A great buddy cop horror movie that reminds me a little of the 80s film “Dead Heat”. This independent flick has lots of laughs and blood and I can get behind that as I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars. For more details or to purchase the film go to: www.alternativecinema.com or www.facebook.com/AlternativeCinemaVideo .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #443

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Gross Movie Reviews #443

 

The Tripods (VHS) – This made-for-TV flick was a BBC production made in the year 1984 and some would say even has some kind the film has some kind of cult status? But anyway this 2 ½ hour film is set in July 2089 outside of London where mankind has been long invaded by alien machines. People have accepted this and live in peace and actually worship the machines and have somewhat gone back to the old days of living before technology. But there are a few people or vagrants that have refused the “capped” process and live scattered among the mountains to evade capture by the alien machines. Since the machines have arrived, war has been non-existent, and the people willingly give their children at the age of 16 to the machines to be “capped”. The machines take them in and basically tattoo their skulls or doing god only knows to their brains. So two teenagers meet this vagrant and decide they don’t want to be “capped” or questioning authority and runaway to the mountains to escape believing there is more to life than these alien machines. The project is very British so for me a little bit was lost in translation but is an interesting project and worth the watch if you love sci-fi flicks as I give it 2 stars. Random fact the TV movie premiered here in the U.S. in the mid-80s on PBS.

Nightfall (VHS) – A 1999 independent vampire flick that had distribution through Troma that was set in Seattle, Washington. A F.B.I. agent named Jack Talbot is investigating a string of murders that have the victims bloodless and marks on their necks and believing there is a serial killer in the city. But Talbot’s partner is killed during the investigation and he begins to believe this vampire theory to the point he chases the vampire to a different city. Talbot teams up with a couple of local detectives who are already on the case of similar victims to try to kill this vampire. I can understand why Troma picked up this flick: nice amount of blood, the acting isn’t terrible, and the story is pretty solid. I give it 2 stars.

Jack Be Nimble (VHS) – This is a story of two kids, Jack and Dora who live in New Zealand and were given up for adoption but separated for the adoption. Jack went to a weird, backwoods; abusive family and Dora went to a nice couple and grew up without issues until high school. Now teenagers they both are having issues and try to explore this possible psychic link in finding each other? Dora gets picked on because of this obsession so she kicks some major ass at school and begins her search for Jack. Where Jack gets down right crazy and dark and hypnotizes his family to kill his parents to escape into the countryside looking for Dora. A really weird and violent flick from the country down under but it makes for an enjoyable watch. Plus you get to see Alexis Arquette in an early role as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Legend (On Demand) – Tyler and his soon to be wife head out to the remote woods to spend time together and so Tyler can propose to his girl. But it is interrupted by a very large hairy creature that drags her away and leaves him a mess as she disappeared. Twelve months go by and we see Tyler leaving an asylum where he was placed as many thought he was crazy and try to get him to understand it was most likely a grizzly bear attack. Once out and some advice from his mother he heads to the woods armed to the teeth wanting answers. While there he is attacked by this large thing again but it goes away and Tyler meets a new friend who tells him a story or two and talks about a private company owns the woods. This private company knows about the thing in the woods and he has also been looking for it but only has heard sounds and stories until today. Eventually Tyler has a bloody battle with thing/bigfoot/creature and survives. The film ends with having a conversation with Lance Henriksen setting up an “Avengers vs. Bigfoot” sequel or at least I hope that is what it’s for?  Also look for cameos by Amanda Wyss playing Tyler’s therapist and Adrienne Barbeau playing Tyler’s mother as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Domestics (On Demand) – The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government may have hit the reset button by dropping black poison on all its citizens one random day. Those who were immune or survived are faced with fighting for their lives day in and out if you are anywhere near the major highways or roads. These are the areas where different gangs of “Sheets, Gamblers, cannibals, etc.” settle at looking for fresh humans for whatever means they need. We are introduced to a lovely couple who were in the process of a divorce right before all this shit went down and just trying to survive like everyone else. The wife has lost contact with her family and wants to travel to Milwaukee to see them. So the husband packs up the AMC Eagle and get on the road out in the Midwest to drive to their destination and satisfy the wife. I really enjoyed this possible reality or outcome of America because I could easily see this happening and that is some cool shit! For that I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Beyond the 7th Door (DVD) – A Canadian film from 1987 that centers on a man named Boris who just got out of jail and is meeting his ex for a drink. After some bickering about who should have done what before he went to jail suddenly come up with an idea that involves Wendy’s boss and his house. Wendy’s boss is Lord Breston who pays well but supposedly keeps a bunch of cash on hand. So the two come up with a plan of Wendy sneaking Boris in once her shift starts and getting out Boris out when she is done. Once in both are trapped inside by a heavy steel door and they must go forward. A recording of Lord Breston comes over a speaker explaining in order to get out they must move forward for the money or die trying. So it becomes a series of rooms that Boris and Wendy must solve until they get to the end where a million dollars sits. The film is overall really weird and how Wendy and Boris ever got together is a story I would like explained. But the kicker of the film is the ending once they have made it through. Like or hate it you will have to admit this is one of the more interesting films that you will have in your collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Medusa Against The Son of Hercules (DVD) – One of the many Italian ‘Hercules’ films that came out in the late 50s and early 60s where this one has no Hercules but it has monsters! A warrior named Perseus fights a sea dragon and Medusa to try and stop a war. But Perseus is double crossed and war breaks out anyway. So by killing Medusa he is able to have warriors return from stone and help. A fun introduction for kids who want to watch some fantasy genre films or just a nice appetizer for the early 80’s cult flick “Clash of the Titans”. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Raven (YouTube) – Todd Ernest Braley shows off his filmmaking and casting talents with this short film adaption of the Edgar Allan Poe story. The black and white short film has narration throughout telling the story as two wonderful actresses act it out. Poe fans will love this short film so be sure to hit up Todd at: https://www.facebook.com/colofilmmaker as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

The Bucks County Massacre (DVD) – This is an independent found footage flick released through Brain Damage Films. The event in question takes place in 2008 with the film/documentary being released in 2010. Basically a group of friends head to a remote cabin for a 25th birthday party. Of course someone is filming everything going on there. While the footage unfolds there are interviews with family members of the deceased from the videos. All of them of course trying to get past the hard times but also still trying to understand how this could happen?  Especially with police trying to stop the leak of the footage out there on the internet but anyway once the party is starting to die down a girl goes missing. Her boyfriend goes looking, people get angered, poor judgment because of the drinking, and presto they are all being attacked by some human-like creature. From there it is all blood and chaos. The film is not bad at all just for me takes entirely way too much time building up the party and every character in the party even before the girl goes missing so I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Tagus Ranch Massacre (DVD) – A group of friends heading out to a deserted restaurant on a bus breakdown but after some repairs finally get to their destination. Mostly tired and miserable the group of friends wants to just sleep after getting there but a friend falls down and may have had a seizure? Nope, just a demon spirit possessing his ass! Of course the group slowly disappears or becomes possessed by these demon spirits that haunt the former restaurant. The demons don’t just possess them they also want to kill in very gruesome ways. Think of “Night of the Demons” on a much smaller budget and I can respect that. Not a big fan of the ending but sure it felt right when the project was finished leaving it open as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Valley of the Sasquatch… it’s coming!

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Sasquatch Poster 3b_Text_FIN_web

 

Check out independent filmmaker’s John Portanova’s latest effort:

John Portanova Writer/Director “Valley of the Sasquatch” facebook.com/valleyofthesasquatch twitter.com/sasquatchhorror

IMDB page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3231390/reference