Gross Movie Reviews #712

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Nightmare (Ultra HD/4K) – This film is also known to many as “Nightmares in a Damaged Brain” as this sadistic horror film had such an edge about it it kept getting pulled, recut R-rated versions, etc. during the late 80s just for it to be released in the VHS market. This newer 3-disc version is everything you could hope for as a fan and then some with this notorious 1981 horror film. Young kid George comes home early to witness something he shouldn’t have as the film announces quickly you are about to get something a little sleazy as it may look like a slasher but doesn’t play exactly like one. Many years later we see adult George receiving experimental treatment for his childhood trauma. Haunted by flashbacks George slowly loses his sanity and bolts to Florida to find his ex-wife and kids. His doctors are worried for not just their sake of their treatment but what is about to come with George’s breakdown. George finds his former family, stalks them, and kills anyone else that seems to get in the way of what he is doing there. This horror film still packs a punch and it is wonderful to see it all cleaned up and unrated as I was one of many horror fans who read about or tried to track down an uncut version many years ago. Plus bonus here kids, Savini sets the record straight on whether he worked on it or not as this was something Tom not often would talk publicly about. If you are an old horror nerd like myself you are going to want this version in your collection as I give this piece of fun sleaze 4 stars.

Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (Blu-ray) – (This review is from ten years ago when I first found this glorious gem) Let me just say this any horror film that begins with Suicidal Tendencies “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy is Dead” gets 4 stars no matter what comes next. But that just isn’t enough for this fun gem of unknown goodness! Karen Black stars as Auntie Lee, Pat Morita as the local small town sheriff, Michael Berryman as the weird dude (Larry) who takes care of the nieces’ cars after deliveries, and the very beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri may have done a lot of porn but always found a way into a stray horror film which I always enjoy finding. Teri is one of the best. But after jamming out to Suicidal Tendencies we are introduced to some lunatic who tries to carjack a young lady and becomes a victim himself for Auntie Lee. Auntie Lee for years has sold her famous meat pies to the local town folk of Penance. And these days now her nieces are all grown up they go out and lure men in for the taking. Usually if there is car trouble or car cleaning needing to be done it’s up to Larry until he is caught one day with a trunk full of bones! Pat Morita decides then with the bootleg David Bowie as a private investigator to try to bring down Auntie Lee. But the real question is will the sheriff bring her in or will he become the next meat pie? Everyone is awesome in this light-hearted “Motel Hell” horror film. This movie deserves to be seen by all horror movie fans as I give this fun meaty morsel 4 stars. (More to the review as a new special edition has finally put this film in print again). Already written the review, I didn’t know what else could lure you into this lesser known classic horror munchie with the great cast other than its now cleaned up, has a great interview with Michael Berryman telling stories about everyone on set. With this special edition this horror film truly gets a second chance in finding a bigger audience? 

Cracula (DVD) – A recent release from Indy filmmaker Brad Twigg which takes no prisoners in his version of Dracula waking up in present times. A couple degenerates unknowingly find Dracula in his coffin at a storage unit in West Virginia where of course they open it looking for shit to steal. Meanwhile, Rick Sloan is a normal dude just trying to get past his parents’ death and clean up their affairs as he gets nothing in inheritance except this storage unit. Only to learn when seeing if there is anything for him to sell the unit is a crime scene! But that is only the beginning for Rick and Dracula as Old Drac has developed a taste for drug addicts as he reigns hilarious terror on the small West Virginia town. Rick on the other hand learns he is a descendant of Van Helsing as he teams up with an odd duo of vampire hunters who have arrived to put an end once and for all to Dracula’s blood thirst. Sounds simple and straight forward but Dracula isn’t just a menace he is gathering a small army of degenerates along with coming to grips he must go to “AA” meetings? Brad and company don’t skip out on handing you gore and nudity as they give viewers a disgustingly, slightly sleazy funny take on the Dracula story as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Vietnam: Kill Zone (YouTube) – Another new release from Mark Polonia that deals with 1970 Vietnam where Tim Hatch who plays Fitzpatrick, a combat photographer who is placed with a small platoon to record the ‘The Two Step Platoon’. Not the usual Mark Polonia project as fans will be surprised as Fitzpatrick tries to capture the story of this platoon as they find a random priest in the jungle. This priest is someone of importance as the platoon is now told of a new mission of getting this dude to the rescue point to be airlifted out of the action. For me it’s hard to gauge if Polonia fans will get behind this project as this isn’t aliens, sasquatch, amityville, etc., but Tim Hatch does do a great job as a combat photographer for this project. Mr. Hatch has come a long way from ‘Mummy Shark’ as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Alien Swamp Beast (Tubi) – A 2019 film from Robert Elkins that I missed so I needed to correct that as a meteor falls from the sky into a swamp near a farm. A boy from the farm heads on over and tracks the green rock down only to be confronted by a group of criminals who just robbed the bank in town. On the run these baddies waste no time killing the boy only for the green rock to bring him back to life as this large ass swamp creature! The alien swamp creature looks pretty bad ass and tracks down everyone to kill them. The creature was cool but the film itself drags and felt it lacked some heart as it comes off as a bad homage to ‘Swamp Thing’ instead of doing something else cool since you got the cool creature thing as I can only give the project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Backrooms Bigfoot (YouTube) – I cannot blame the filmmaker for making something like this but also I am just not into the whole ‘Backrooms’ thing but that didn’t stop me from watching another Sasquatch film. Anyhow this contains info on why maybe Sasquatch is so elusive as a man goes searching for the creature only to find himself being transported to endless hallways out in the middle of the woods. As more people disappear being curious about Sasquatch, it hits social media the backrooms might not be the best idea for people? This project has two good things going for it that makes it watchable: first Phil Herman as a survivor of so-called backrooms and Sasquatch gives the movie some depth. It is an interesting character that stands out. Second, pretty much Sasquatch just bashes all the victims into a bloody pulp. Its weird but it is a thing as I give the movie 2 out of 4 stars.

Faces of Death (Shudder) – This remake had me on the fence of if I wanted to see this or not? But after a few trusted people told me a few things about it since its theater release I was actually kind of excited to watch it. Well so glad I did as it was a thrill ride for me. The story focuses on a young woman Margo who has had trauma in her life as she works for a content company called ‘Kino Moderation’. An app just like a YouTube, etc., where she works behind a computer viewing all videos helps review what videos are allowed or not on the app to be watched. One regular day she finds an execution video that is somewhat disturbing but believes is fake? Then not too long after comes across another that is posted that now makes her question if it is truly fake? The other end of this is a killer that has a fetish or condition or two but likes using the original ‘Faces of Death’ for inspiration. The killer is creating content as Margo continues to let this affect her as she takes the work home to investigate further of these videos. The more she investigates and gets fired unbeknownst to her she has possibly become the next victim of the killer. I quite enjoyed the recent ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ remake. And this knew you gotta do something different as this project knew how to incorporate some present day commentary on content and how it is consumed. This was definitely a 4 star flick for myself and so happy how the original was incorporated into the story. 

Die Die Delta Pi 2: The Burnt One (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue is back writing and directing this sequel as it deals with a couple young ladies get the idea of reopening the Delta Pi sorority because they cannot afford the rent. Their thinking is why not? They have heard about the murderous history but this would be a great way for the school to pay for the housing and plus Jesse and Riley can run the sorority. In order to restart they first have a car wash but what really gets it going of course is having a toga party and a couple cute guys there for their party. Sounds great until a new killer has arrived to haunt Jesse and Riley as the underfunded cops cannot stop the bodies piling up in this quick nostalgic slasher. Sean Donohue’s style, tight script, and just enough little nods gives this quick moving slasher sequel enough to keep independent cinema fans more than excited as I give the entertaining sequel 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #493

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Gross Movie Reviews #493

 

Smoke and Mirrors: The Story of Tom Savini (Shudder) – Being a huge Savini fan since I was a kid this was huge. I remembered the really cool “Scream Greats” doc from Fango in the 80s so see his life story in full talked about it was a wonderful treat. With this documentary you get everything from his inspiration to the untimely death of his brother to why he did not go to L.A. with famous names we know. For me it also connected some stories I have always heard from filmmaker friends and artists and have read about in the past. Like him or dislike him I have always respected him because he was doing something that was completely amazing and without him I do not believe we have some of the cool talented make-up and effects people now. Horror fans if you didn’t like Savini before you will after this as you get finally get the full understanding and first complete look behind the curtain of Savini’s life. This gets 4 stars all the way as Savini will always be someone I have looked up too then and now.

 

Ready or Not (DVD) – Grace is a bride about to be married into a super-rich family who for over a century has sold board games and such. As family tradition after the marriage the family gets together at midnight to initiate the new family member with a game that is picked by the luck of the draw. Problem arises when Grace pulls the ‘Hide-n-Seek’ card that has her being hunted down by the family throughout the huge mansion to be caught before dawn. Weird and sometimes funny shit but well worth the watch. I may not be as big of a fan as most of this past year’s flick but there is denying Samara Weaving is a freaking awesome actress as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Zombieland: Double Tap (On Demand) – Best way to describe this film is if you see the first film you have seen this sequel. That isn’t a bad it is still hilarious zombie killings and rules going on but ten years later. Believe me I will take a sequel like this than most zombie shit that is being force fed to horror fans as I give it 3 stars.

 

From Hell to the Wild West (On Demand) – Found another flick with bootleg Chuck Bronson. This time around a researcher finds a diary from a woman that may have solved the mystery behind Jack the Ripper? She reads the diary that tells a story about the old west at the time Jack the Ripper had disappeared from authorities. A masked psycho is putting out ads for whores to come to a small remote town for them to be killed. Bootleg Chuck figures this out but some bounty hunters believe it’s him. With the help of a U.S. Marshal he hopes to clear his name and bring this unholy killer to justice. The film isn’t a bad concept but making bootleg Chuck Bronson only a supporting character instead of the star I believe hurts the film. That and the film just seeming to drag a little in the middle so I came out a little disappointed in the end as I give this western/horror 1 ½ stars.

 

Satanic Panic (DVD) – First let me just say without Hayley Griffith as Sam the main character I do not know if this movie is much fun as it is? Sam is a young pizza delivery girl trying to make some money. So an order comes in from a rich part of town that is out of the pizza place’s area Sam takes it. Running out of gas and no tip Sam takes it upon herself to find a way into the mansion to explain why she should get a tip. Without knowing at first she has stumbled upon Satanists who are having a meeting and then set up for a ritual when they figure out Sam is a virgin! Funny shit ensues, lots of gore, and a crazy ass Satanist orgy at the end of the film and you got ‘Satanic Panic’ as I give it 3 stars.

 

Crime Zone (DVD) – An absolute gem starring David Carradine and Sherilyn Fenn in a post-apocalyptic world where ‘the state’ controls everything. Fenn and her new boyfriend are made an offer they cannot refuse in order to escape the hell they are in and that is to become the futuristic Bonnie and Clyde. But a double crossing Carradine believes it is all about business and crime stirs up business with a very depressing ending for the two lovers. A fun Corman low budget gem that reminds you how fucking cool Ms. Fenn is. Not only is she gorgeous but talented and did every little project that came her way during the mid to late 80s and I am thankful for that as this gem gets 3 stars.

 

Conversation with the Devil (YouTube) – A new short film from filmmaker Sam Hodge that deals with a man who is about to commit the ultimate sin but stopped when a stranger walks by to strike up a conversation. An interesting and cool little story that has been told in many forms but Mr. Hodge showing he is learning more and more with each independent project he does as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Cannibal Hillbillies (DVD) – Broaden Torture Productions is back with their latest project that has a small group of friends testing a theory of an urban legend. The urban legend is a family of cannibals living out in the woods where one of their fathers’ had a campsite. They pay with their lives finding this out of course but the biggest problem is watching this 50 minute feature that is filled up with about 10 to 15 minutes of filler. You know empty woods, credits, even the group babbling in the mini-van which seems like forever. I like the people behind this Indy production company but this film just misses on all cylinders badly as I give it 0 out of 4 stars.

 

Strange Events (DVD) – I wouldn’t call it an anthology as much as a series of short films that are about the unknown and paranormal with dates and cities stamped on them. There is no wrap around which makes it unique and fun. We also get some cool backstabbing murders and I did enjoy bootleg Beavis and Butthead stumbling upon the exorcism that they thought was an internet sex date. Worth the watch as I give it 3 stars and if you like it there is a sequel also.

Do Not Disturb (DVD) – A 2010 serial killer film that was also known as “New Terminal Hotel”. Supposedly it is known for having one of the last performances from Corey Haim? But anyway the film centers around a character named Don Malek played by Stephen Geoffreys who was the hot Hollywood screenwriter who now is living in a shitty hotel working on his latest project. Problem arises when his agent Ava played by Tiffany Shepis shows up and sees the studio boss lying in the tub as Malek explains away it is ‘performance art’. Meanwhile all Ava wants is a script from her hot talent that is going cold quickly. Ava returns the next day to find no script but the studio head stumbling out of the bathroom of the hotel room after being dissected by Malek. Now any normal person would run and call the cops but Ava being the best agent possible decides to try and help Malek as she slowly takes the jump down the disturbing rabbit hole with Malek as he transforms into a serial killer. Ava must protect her investment but the biggest flaw of the film might be its ending as it felt very dissatisfying. It’s a fun slow burn with not a great payoff but is better than it should be with great performances from Stephen Geoffreys and Tiffany Shepis as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Bad Bugs (DVD) – SyFy Channel in its heyday couldn’t come up with something this terrible as a scientist figures out how to use a wormhole to make giant man-eating insects to conquer the world. The topper is when the villain changes into a huge snake! Wasn’t this supposed to be about bugs? The title says it all remember people… as I give this zero stars.

 

Cyborg X (DVD) – There was no JCVD in sight but a hilarious role for Danny Trejo shooting CGI machines and cyborgs as he collects another paycheck waiting for the next “Machete” movie. Instead of even trying to explain this picture just imagine a bootleg of a bootleg “Terminator: Salvation” without all the convoluted John Connor storyline. I give it 1 star and consider yourself warned.

Megaconda (DVD) – A giant CGI monster movie that has eluded me for the past year or two as I went searching for this turkey. Some jagoff comes into small town Colorado fucking up some beloved community park to build condos or something. Instead the workers disturb a sleeping prehistoric snake that is pissed and hungry. Now it is up to a drunk, an emotionless sheriff, his son and girlfriend, and wait for it… Michelle Bauer who just happens to show up while camping in a cave doing artwork and supplying liquor to minors! You had me watching at terrible giant CGI snake and very random appearance of the absolutely cool Michelle Bauer. Instead of being stupid and horrible like “Big Bad Bugs” Fred Olen Ray’s son knows what to do with nothing and make it entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Retrograde (DVD) – Freakin’ Dolph Lundgren is a time traveler who travels 200 years in the past to stop a plague happening from fallen meteors that start the apocalypse. His good looks and fighting skills in movies make it hard to pass up. But felt like the film missed out an opportunity since it also starred Gary Daniels. For that I only give this 2004 Dolph flick 1 ½ stars.

 

The Minion (DVD) – Dolph is a part of the ‘Knights Templar’ who is sent to New York City to retrieve a key that has been unearthed by subway construction. An archaeologist is called in and she is going bonkers on what this can mean for her career. But evil is around and wants to use the key to unlock a secret door that has Satan trapped in a pit. If it is opened evil will reign and lay waste to Earth. A fun ‘End of Days’ made on the cheap with Dolph punching humans in the back of the necks with a glove with spikes to kill off the possessed. If you are a fan of religious ‘End of Days’ shit this will be right up your alley as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Grossfest is coming…

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Tell your ma, tell your pa, tell everyone in Arkansas Grossfest is coming July 20th! But serious people tell your friends, your work friends, your ex-friends, your exes in general, your mistress, your secret boyfriend, your boyfriend’s boyfriend, tell the dreaded relatives that this cool event is happening again July 20th! And filmmakers that didn’t get a table because they sold out again come anyway and buy a ticket just to check out all the cool independent horror filmmakers, authors, and bad ass vendors! Help us make this grow so we can do this every year… Remember only $10 and you never know what will be there!!!

 

Guests for Grossfest 2: Fred and Shelby Vogel, Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger, Dustin Wayde Mills, Craig Everett Earl, Justin Channell, Glenn Berggoetz, Henrique Couto, Brian Paulin, and Tom Savini. There will also be independent authors, filmmakers, and cool vendors… Plus independent movies will be shown all day. Remember things are subject to change…

Saturday, July 20, 2019 (Vendor room 11-7, Movie room 11-10) $10 admission includes both

DoubleTree Hotel

340 Racetrack Road

Washington, Pa. 15301

724-222-6200

Code to book your discount room: G19

Anything else please visit us at www.grossfest.com or visit our Grossfest Facebook page.

See yinz at Grossfest!

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Just posted a crap load of new podcasts!

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This week’s episode we are still drunk on the afterglow of the glorious return of Joe Bob Briggs and his 24 hour movie marathon.  BUT WE MARCH ON!!!  We will be covering a weirdo Canadian flick in BEYOND THE 7TH DOOR.  And Kyle finally gets off his ass and watches the Savini effects fronted slasher flick in The Prowler.  Also, we chat about Tim’s opinion on the Shudder service, Donald Pleasence chainsaw fights, Deep cut Cheech and Chong flicks, we answer your questions and read all the newest news.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

On this week’s episode football returns and that means that Kyle’s ranting and raving dad has returned to scream and yell.  After alienating most of all the cult movie fans by talking sports we get back to the subject at hand and that is and all time Disney sci-fi classic in THE BLACK HOLE.  And Tim covers a quasi-cult flick that surly has a fan base that is quite large in ALIEN NATION.  We also got all your normal things like NEWS and listener questions.  So listen to this show or no spoiled milk for you!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

On this week’s show we continue to alienate people with football chat but it doesn’t matter because we got predators… First we talk about the sequel to and all time action jam starring Danny Glover who seems to be too old for everything in PREDATOR 2.  Then we sleep for 15 years until we get to PREDATORS.  Then we almost another 10 years to cover the newest jam THE PREDATOR.  Also time and Kyle also finally get to talk about Sicario 2 and the cult of Benicio Del Toro.  Bizarre Dolph Lundgren flicks that were found at a dollar general.  The sad, sad death of Terrarium TV and we also got your questions and news too.  So download this episode you beautiful motherfuckers!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

On this week’s episode we talk about government cheese and the perils of getting older and shitting your pants.  But besides that we cover the flick that set the internet on fire in MANDY.  And we also cover another fine flick from the glorious land of Australia in BOAR.  Also we chat about the problematic Alex Jones. Kyle discovers the glorious 90’s flick The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.  So, download this episode or the Diceman won’t take you out and throw a hamburger down your throat.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Next guest announcement for Grossfest 2019 is…

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Well this happened: Let’s just get right down to it because there aren’t enough words to express how cool this is! This man needs no introduction as his makeup work says it all. But he has carved out an amazing career as an actor and a director also. He has inspired generations to do makeup and effects. Kids are still inspired by the amazing work he has done in the effects world. Some of his work is shown off in “Dawn of the Dead”, “Friday the 13th”, and “Creepshow”. To this day I feel he did amazing work directing “Night of the Living Dead 1990”, but also was hilarious in such projects “From Dusk till Dawn” and “Machete”. He is truly the man, the myth, the legend, Tom Savini! We welcome Tom in joining our guest list for Grossfest 2019. www.grossfest.com #grossfest , #grossfest2019 , see yinz there!

 

Here’s a new tasty treat from Bloodbaths and Boomsticks, Episode 156!

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episode 156

We are gonna be throwing out all our backed up episodes leading up to CINEMA WASTELAND.  But, our procrastination is your gain.  This week we will be talking about a movie from Pittsburgh that Tom Savini may or may not have worked on in BLOODSUCKING PHARAOHS IN PITTSBURGH, and one of the best satanic panic / killer kids / 70’s groovy movies in the world THE OMEN.  Also we got what we have been watching, viewer questions, and pizza in a can talk.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Another commentary?… Awesome!

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dawn of the dead

 

As a sort of bonus episode / apology for unforeseen circumstances JSB and JOSH from down the road got together today to cut a commentary for the all time 1978 zombie masterpiece Dawn of the Dead.  Now where all the white women at?

 

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