Gross Movie Reviews #434

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Gross Movie Reviews #434

 

The Last Days of Livermore (DVD) – A man travels to Livermore Cemetery to confront his love. He believes it is time to move on from the relationship to other things but has second thoughts as he wants to be with her… Think of the short film as a horror love story with a splatter of gore as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The short film was shot in Livermore, Pa. and the Livermore Cemetery location look to be a wonderful spot for the film. For more details about the film go to:  www.facebook.com/The-Last-Days-of-Livermore .

Terrifier (On Demand) – A film from Damien Leone that I had been hearing things about for a couple years it seems. Well horror movie fans grab the Halloween candy and turn down the lights as there is a new fun Halloween holiday horror flick to enjoy! Art the Clown is out on the town Halloween night carrying his sack of goodies. Art not having much to say voice wise uses his actions to tell you what he is about to do. As Art wanders the streets a pretty young lady named Tara catches his eye and follows Tara and her friend Dawn into a pizza shop. Of course Dawn takes pics of her and the weird ass clown that keeps an eye on Tara for her social media page. From there it just gets creepy as hell as their car has a flat and Tara runs to a close by apartment building to use the bathroom. The fun holiday night goes to hell when Art the Clown shows up again to begin his bloody path to the girls and anyone that interferes. I love the whole thing of Art the Clown just existing and actor David Howard Thornton was perfect for the role. “Terrifier” wasn’t just entertaining but pure horror awesomeness as the film took the gore level up a notch with a great ‘death by hacksaw’ scene (poor Dawn)! The film was grim, gritty, and absolutely beautiful. Mark my words “Terrifier” will be one of the best horror films of 2018 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Ayla (Vimeo/DVD) – The latest from ‘The October People’ and John Portanova is a wonderful dramatic thriller about a man who spirals out of control. Elton has always tried to hold on to his dead sister. She died when Elton and his brother were young but Elton refuses to move on. He struggles daily and when Elton and his girlfriend drive out to a house to fool around he believes he is seeing her again and again. The struggle gets worse and Elton returns to the old house like he is driven to go there and find something? Next thing you know Elton is digging under a weird tree and finds his dead sister… alive and thirty years older. Beyond happy he loses connection with his girlfriend and tries to explain to his mom and brother Ayla is back and this isn’t some fake person. While doing that apparently Ayla likes to puke fluids and be naked for most of the movie. Did Elton will this to happen? Is there life after death? Is it all just in Elton’s mind and we are along for the ride? Truly weird and bizarre tale that will make you think and want to watch it again. I enjoy what ‘The October People’ are doing as they don’t stick to a certain genre and try to give you something very different movie wise than you are use too. I give this cool weirdo flick 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go to: www.theoctoberpeople.net .

 

Partners (DVD) – A 1982 supposed comedy has a straight cop and a gay cop go undercover in the gay community to solve a series of murders among gay men. Some bad jokes even in 1982 and a relationship blossoming between the two cops are the main plot points of the film. Surprisingly the cast is what kept me watching the film (Ryan O’Neal, John Hurt, James Remar, and Martin Kove). The film is watchable but it isn’t a “Cruising” as I give this forgotten comedy 1 star.

 

Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper (DVD) – Once again I am watching stuff I couldn’t make up if I tried unless I was David DeCoteau? A pretty boring film full of shirtless hunks, it’s November 1971 and supposedly in the woods turkey hunting in the state of Washington. A man named Bernie now older tells a story of how and why he knows the real story of D.B. Cooper. There is a reason the authorities have never found D.B. Cooper and it’s all because of Bigfoot. And Bigfoot is a Peeping Tom apparently? Weird shit so of course I watched it as I give it a half star only for having voiceover work done by Eric Roberts and Linnea Quigley.

 

The Plague (DVD) – A small community called Love Canal in Canada has been used a toxic dumping ground for years. But the dumping ground hasn’t only been used for toxic materials as bodies have been dumped there also. But the dead are beginning to rise and forces a brother and sister out for a jog to team up with a couple criminals to survive the onslaught of zombies that are attacking. The group tries to use their cars to escape but that makes little difference as the numbers of undead begin to rise. Another independent zombie film that doesn’t exactly separate itself from the growing number of other Indy zombie films out there. They all have ‘good concepts’ but just don’t find a way to pull it off. I give the film 1 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find more out at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

The Plague 2: Biohazard Blood (DVD) – Two survivors from the first film, Becky and Jill are roaming the wasteland as the plague spread quickly through the cities and world. The world fell apart quickly as the Love Canal incident turned into full fledge zombie apocalypse. Or the filmmaker just has watched too much of “The Walking Dead”? As Becky and Jill see signs for salvation and travel to the destination until they cross a father whose child was taken from him because they escaped the sanctuary. Becky and Jill choose to help and rescue the daughter and disband this so-called sanctuary. The sequel seem to be less bloody, boring, and a “Walking Dead” clone done very cheaply as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about flick at www.foxtrotprodfilms.com .

 

Les Paterson Saves the World (VHS/YouTube) – A bumbling idiot that is the Australian diplomat farts while on stage during a conference and catches another diplomat on fire. As punishment he is sent to the Middle East as a favor so he could be tortured and killed. But being a complete idiot and totally unaware he escapes and helps a Russian plot to proceed. The Russian plot is a Bio-weapon of super herpes via toilet seats being placed in the Pentagon so it could infect all Americans. The diabolical plan can only be stopped by the bumbling idiot or the U.S. president Joan Rivers to give up one squillion dollars for the antidote. The 1987 film has its moments that include Hugh Keays-Byrne in leather and Barry Humphries also starring as a woman who works for the C.I.A. trying to defuse the situation. A weird comedy that I know I didn’t get all of the humor but was just glad to watch something a little different than the usual so I give it 2 stars.

 

Rise of the Footsoldier (DVD) – The film is based on a true life tough guy named Carlton Leach who rose through the ranks of feared criminals. His main business was violence and crime during the 80s and 90s. If someone needed protected, drugs sold, guns, someone beaten up? Carlton and his boys were the ones to contact if you had the cash. Leach made a living off of this for many years until some peers of his were killed in a vicious shooting that one of his friends said they were retiring. The UK accent is very thick in this film where they should have had some subtitles at times but if you are a fan of mob flicks this might be something up your alley? I give the movie 2 stars.

 

The Sisterhood (DVD) – Another Philippines post-apocalyptic flick produced from the Roger Corman Company that is about women with special powers after the nuclear holocaust. The year is 2021 and a woman and her village have just been raided by some raiders and her brother was killed. Two women warriors from a group “The Sisterhood” come by and help the young lady. The warriors of The Sisterhood are considered outcasts or witches and decide they will help track down the raiders that did this horrible deed. The female warriors believe in freedom and will put an end to the men’s’ terror with or without the help of the war wagon they find. Quite a fun post-apocalyptic B-movie that doesn’t look like it has much going for it and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

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We are double dipping at Bloodbaths and Boomsticks!

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We are BACK!  And this week Tim Gross has found another Ron Pearlman Vs. animals flick in KILLER RATS.  Then Kyle picks a flick that is a weird skewered quasi retelling of Night of the Living Dead from Spain in THE PEOPLE WHO OWN THE DARK.  Also we answer your questions and recap the week that has past.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

We return and we bring with us Moe Porne of NO BUDGET NIGHTMARES PODCAST to cover a movie that truly has to be seen to be believed (just ignore the outright racism) in THE DARK POWER. Tim covers Julian Sands signature flick WARLOCK.  And finally Kyle covers the underrated quasi comic book flick CONSTANTINE.  Also we talk about Stephen King’s THE DARK TOWER, Answer your questions and more.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Zomputer returns from the dead so we can keep doing shows!

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This week we return through the death of Tim’s computer to bring you a new episode chocked full of bullshit and nonsense.  Kyle returns to the theater to see Keanu Reeves shoot everyone in the head in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2,  A sequel that Kyle never even knew existed in HOUSE 4, and what happened when the apocalypse happens and you combine 37 different guns into one gun in a Roger Corman joint EQUALIZER 2000.  Plus a lot of other crap I’ve forgotten about.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #399

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Gross Movie Reviews #399

 

The Howling: Reborn (DVD) – Before we get started horror fans this movie seem to be pooped out of thin air? No one totally knows why or claims it? Just like most of the howling sequels this entry had nothing to do with the other sequels. No one is totally sure this was a reboot either? So I like to believe someone picked up an old Fangoria magazine or just stumbled randomly on Google about “The Howling” series and said, “Let’s roll with it!” Problem is no respected horror fan was excited by the last entry ‘New Moon Rising’… So why now I ask, who actually fucking knows but I bet you if this film had a different title there is a good chance it is released into theaters for teen girls not pooped out there in “On Demand land” like it was. Reboot, sequel, someone’s bad movie idea come to life, you knew I would eventually break down and watch this son of a bitch. The film is boiled down to ‘Teen Wolf’ (Michael J. Fox version) trying to fight off the new bullies in school who happen to be a pack of wolves led by his dead mum. And the teenage boy will do anything to protect his new hot girlfriend and himself from the psychos while locked up in their high school. I totally knew this film wasn’t marketed for me but it still gets 1 star. Maybe they can do a documentary on whose crazy idea it was just to do another ‘Howling’ flick?

a-boy-and-his-dog

A Boy and His Dog (DVD) – The mid-70s post-apocalyptic flick has been public domain at times and released several times on DVD but truly never gets the respect it deserves. Its 2024, after World War 4 and Don Johnson who plays Vic has a psychic link to a dog named “Blood”. Vic and Blood are just trying to navigate the Wastelands to survive and for Vic to get laid at some point. After finding a girl at the so called movies he follows her too finally to get laid but things get sidetrack as others have followed. Vic saves the girl and follows her to the underground against Blood’s wishes. So Vic learns for himself as he finds a weirdo colony actually sent the girl out to find a guy to help repopulate their underground community. Of course Vic wants none of this and escapes with one of my favorite movie endings ever! I give the classic 3 ½ stars.

 

Mutator (VHS/YouTube) – Brion James stars as David a man who just got the job to fill in for the missing security guard at the Tigen Corporation. With the doors shutting for the night and his night shift begins where he is debating with the other guards about the possible genetic experiment that went wrong at the facility several months ago. Meanwhile a couple animal activists convinced the young daughter of the CEO of Tigen to help them break-in and release some of the animals to make a statement. Once inside they only find dead animals and something is following them very closely. It’s a weird cat creature that has been loose since the accident and has tried to be covered up by the CEO. A straight-to-video sci-fi blast as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dead Man Walking (VHS/YouTube) – As I keep diving into the post-apocalyptic genre of the 80s I found this unknown gem that stars Wings Hauser, Brion James, Jeffrey Combs! Holy shit people I would watch this a hundred times just for the casting of those three alone. It doesn’t mean it will be the most exciting film like this one but sometimes you wonder if they get all-star B-movie casts like this to just sell the crappy flick. The year, 1997, World War 3 has happened and a plague has killed off half of the world’s population. The survivors if you wanna call them that are left in the ruins to survive and there is the few who are called “The Zero Men”. They have the plague but are not contagious but have a year or two left of life and can be unpredictable. Combs was a limo driver for his rich ass boss and the boss’s daughter was kidnapped by an escaped convict and zero man in Brion James. Combs finds Wings Hauser, another zero man to hire him to help track down this woman through the plague zone. Gotta give some love to the filmmaker thinking the old “fish bowl” AMC car would survive all this to travel through the plague zone. Again not the best of plots but the cast is what makes this gem worth tracking down and owning if you are a weirdo like me. I give the B-flick 2 stars.

 

Kill Show (YouTube) – A short film that features a young woman’s struggle with her perverted mind frame of being a clown. The film takes you into her mental breakdown and she gets off on hearing about her random killing spree that can only end in one way. She wants to be known/remembered, not forgotten. Todd Braley and crew do a wonderful job of making this an interesting and creepy short film that makes you want to know more about this young woman’s story. What adds to the feel of the flick is the way the film was shot as it felt like the crew might have been trying to give the viewer a unique disturbing view into her madness. Wonderful stuff from Mr. Braley and hope there is a lot more coming for film fans. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can rent it at www.reelhouse.org/infinitymediaprods/kill-show .

 

Digital Man (DVD) – Oh a fun horrible post-apocalyptic flick that has a cast that is worth more than the budget of the film: Matthias Hues, Ed Lauter, Chase Masterson, Don Swayze, Amanda Wyss, Adam Baldwin, Paul Gleason, and Clint F’N Howard! This B-movie combines Robocop and Cyborg Cop into a military weapon that was made to tackle terrorism. Digital Man is used in a secret mission to take out some terrorists and does it pretty quickly. Some higher-ups in the military are not happy with the test against the terrorists going well and try to sabotage Digital Man on his flight back. The flight goes down in a small town of Badwater and a team of humans and cyborgs are sent into the town to dismantle and retrieve the launch codes from Digital Man. Hilarious action scenes keep you awake throughout this B-flick that made question if ‘Dollman’ or ‘Robot Wars’ was being filmed at the same time on the same set. Oh the bad fun movie gets 2 stars.

 

Lesbian Vampire Killers (DVD) – Two bumbling friends (Jimmy just had a bad break-up again and the other just fired again from his job) take a trip into the countryside after a drunken idea they had. Instead of just enjoying the scenery and hanging with hot women they are now in in the fight of their lives with vampires, lesbian vampires. The lesbian vampires are trying to revive their ancient Queen Carmilla who was vanquished by Jimmy’s long lost relative the Baron centuries ago. But Jimmy is the saving grace as he has the power within him to kill the queen if he doesn’t get bitten first. If you enjoy films like ‘Shaun of the Dead’ and ‘Doghouse’, you’ll enjoy the humor in this horror/comedy also as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Prototype (VHS/YouTube) – A very boring sci-fi flick set in 2057 L.A. where a young scientist is interested in why the “Prototype program” disappeared 20 years ago and its founder ten years before that. She learns more about the program when given access and convinces a young wheelchair bound war vet to be a part of an experiment in the revived program. Once he does he becomes a weapon unbeknownst to her. Not a whole lot happens in the movie except a lot of robot vision and random robot sounds and for that I give it 1 star.

 

Desert Warrior (VHS/YouTube) – Look out boys and girls I found another post-apocalyptic flick from the 80s, made in the Philippines, and stars mother fucking Lou Ferrigno with a damn eye patch! If it helps to find this flick in your local libraries it was also released under the title as ‘Sand Wars’. Plagues of course have destroyed the world after World War 3 and Zerak (Lou) is sent to find an uncontaminated woman for his clan. The radiation fallout is destroying the clan and the leader wants fresh women to help keep the clan alive. Zerak finds a woman named Rachella who wants to explore outside of her underground bubble. Rachella gets in some trouble with mutants and Zerak saves her. Soon Zerak doesn’t want her to be used by his clan, he wants to save her. Lou is so bad ass in this flick he lets a mad doctor perform an experiment on him to give his eye back instead of death! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html