Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

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This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

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This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

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This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

 

Madman (Blu-ray) – An amazing restoration of a cult-slasher film from the early 80s that includes: interviews, commentary, and other fun tidbits that you may have never known about the flick. A group of people are out in the woods telling stories of a legend called “Madman Mars”. The group scares each other as they near the old house that supposedly Madman Mars went nuts and killed his family. One of the younger persons of the group screams for the legend to come and get them after being warned to not. They pack up and head back to the cabin as it’s the end of the season and they will be going back to the city in the morning. But Madman Mars heard the kid and now is on the prowl to track down the group and slaughter the poor folks. Wonderful kill scenes, a good amount of blood and guts, and a disgusting looking yet cool killer (Madman) makes this slasher a must have and makes you question why there isn’t several sequels? This low budget feature follows the ‘Friday the 13th’ formula and now you know where the people behind ‘Slaughterhouse’ got the idea for their killer and poster art? A must own for horror movie collectors as I give it 3 stars.

 

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (DVD) – A horror film that may or may not have had Tom Savini doing the effects for this gorefest of a slasher film? This has been always debated over and from what information I could track down on Savini he didn’t have anything to do with the project that is best known for a woman being decapitated by a kid. There is a guy who is a schizophrenic and has been tested on with a new drug. He believes he is cured and goes out on the town only to find himself losing his mind and begins to kill again while his doctors have lost track of him. He eventually makes his way back home but first he has several flashbacks of his murderous childhood and has several new victims. The film is on the sleazy side but also is uneven and can be dull at times. I give this odd sleazy flick 2 stars.

The Guardians (DVD) – A Russian version of ‘The Avengers’ that features a man that turns into a bear, has a machine gun and a woman on his back killing evil persons while running through Moscow! Yep, I am sold and do not need to say anymore but I will. After the Russians entered the war in 1940 scientists were doing secret genetic research. After several failed experiments over the years a scientist goes rogue and starts to use people to further his experiments. When the military tries to intervene the scientist gets caught in a chemical explosion and becomes a part of his own experiment only to disappear until now. During a high tech military exercise this monster reappears and takes control of all machines killing all involved and disappears. So the Russian military forms a team of superheroes Nick Fury style: Ler – a man who can move rocks and things and uses them as weapons or a suit. Khan – a guy who has swords and can move like the wind. Kseniya – who is able to regulate her body temperature? And my favorite because he looks like a character from the Sega game “Altered Beast” Arsus (I believe that is how it’s spelled) – is a man who turns into a thing with a bear head and when he is really pissed off turns into a giant grizzly bear! They must take down the former scientist Kuratov now evil monster mastermind who also made them into what they are. Kuratov wants to take over Moscow then the world and make more troops like him. His goal in accomplishing this is using an old Reagan satellite in space left over from the “Star Wars program”. First time around The Guardians is defeated quickly but they reset things and prepare differently to become a team and defeat this evil Kuratov before it’s too late. The movie is a brilliant comic book-style popcorn flick that fits right in with the Marvel and DC universes! I absolutely loved this exciting flick as I give it 4 stars. Come one for the love of Rutger Hauer you have a bear with a machine gun you know this is gonna make my “Best movies of 2017 list”.

 

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (DVD) – So I have jumped head first into this weird world of David Lynch and cult TV show and movie. This movie for the most part is the story about the homecoming queen Laura Palmer before her murder. Almost two hours of drug use, weird shit going on, sex, two FBI agents disappearing, and eventually violence. Don’t understand it but do give it credit for being weird and interesting as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

Space Rage (YouTube/VHS) – A young pony tail wearing Michael Pare is Grange where in a futuristic society he gets caught by authorities after a bank robbery. He is banished to a penial colony on another planet where the only escape is a supply ship that lands once in a great while. So of course once Grange arrives he begins kicking ass in prison and plans his escape. Once escaped and on the run there is an old dude trying to track Grange and the inmates down before Grange blows up the landing site and killing everyone on the incoming shuttle. Lots of cool car stunts and Pare shooting everyone on screen are the highlights of this unknown sci-fi/action gem as I give it 3 stars.

 

Starslammer: The Escape (YouTube/VHS) – Oh folks this is a lovely Fred Olen Ray mid-80s treat that is a B-movie combo of ‘The Ice Pirates’ and ‘Reform School Girls’ on a prison ship. Actually the film was titled “Prison Ship” in some countries and also includes a John Carradine cameo. The girls/prisoners have had enough of abuse on the ship and now are about to become part of some unwanted experiments. So with help from the underground they have a plan to escape. Fred Olen Ray madness is always good for 2 ½ stars.

Vice Squad (YouTube/VHS) – The movie represents a fictional account of what Hollywood police have to put up with in 1982 as prostitution was rampant. We are quickly introduced to Wings Hauser’s character Ramrod and his awesome Ford Bronco that now makes my “list of great movie vehicles”. Ramrod tracks down Nina Blackwood from MTV as she owes Ramrod money and believes her pimp loves her. Ramrod kills her but doesn’t know she contacted her best friend Princess and told her all about Ramrod. After some coaxing by local authorities Princess brings down Ramrod. But once in custody he breaks out of a moving police car and plans on finding and paying Princess a visit. A slightly sleazy Wings Hauser and Hollywood Blvd along with prostitution as the backdrop makes a wonderful early 80s flick worth the rewatch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Harbinger Down (DVD) – A film written and directed by Alec Gillis with very cool practical creature effects starring Lance Henriksen as a captain of crab fishing boat out in the Bering Sea. He picks up some whale researchers that include his daughter that are there to measure climate change. One night the crab guys pick up something unusual after it was spotted by the researchers. Encased in ice they debate over whose find it is? But after some melting they notice the ball of ice is old wreckage with a pilot inside. But it’s too late something has escaped onto the boat and trying to take over all humans. Trying to figure out if its alien or not they figure out it was a decade’s old experiment that the Russians may have let the ship find it and see how the creature reacts? Plain old fashion creature feature with lots of cool creations and the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen taking charge trying to bring this ever changing thing down! A very solid and entertaining sci-fi/horror flick with more than enough cool creatures that deserves 3 stars.

 

FDR: American Bad Ass (DVD) – This film is an accurate portrayal of FDR played by Barry Bostwick our wheelchair bound president who led the US against the Nazis! In the early 30s FDR is bitten by a werewolf that gives him polio. FDR loses use of his legs but doesn’t let that get in the way of him going from governor to President of the United States. The film follows him from the campaign trail to where FDR gears up and fights Nazi werewolves in order to keep them off of US soil! To just explain it does not do the film justice as also the great cast makes this hilarious flick work. The great cast consists: Ray Wise, Barry Bostwick, Robin Sydney (Full Moon fanatics know her well), Kevin Sorbo as Lincoln, Lin Shaye, and Paul Ben-Victor as Werewolf Hitler. So you need to refresh your history this is the first place to start with this masterpiece of accurate history as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Monolith (DVD) – Bill Paxton and Lindsay Frost are two detectives that accidentally get involved with a highly secretive government project that consists of an alien force/parasite that has awakened. This parasite is able to jump from human body to another trying to get to its ship to leave. The government or John Hurt is willing to risk the world as this has been his life to find answers from this force. Throw in a little bit of Louis Gossett Jr. and you have a fine sci-fi feature that was mostly overlooked in the early 90s as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Void (DVD) – An extremely vague but interesting horror film that has some of the best movie creatures since ‘The Thing’? A man is picked up along a dark road and brought into a closing hospital by a small town police officer. Things only get stranger when the man does not wanna quit babbling and the police officer is attacked by a person in a white sheet outside. Once the doctor and nurses stop the bleeding on the officer more of these people in white sheets show up. Meanwhile another nurse goes nuts, rips her face off and stabs a patient in his eye killing him and that’s when it gets even weirder??? Two guys show up bitching about a massacre, a huge disgusting creature steals the state trooper and begins feeding on him, and apparently the good doctor of the hospital is the next Pinhead!? Fun and gruesomely entertaining film! My only drawback with the film is you must pay attention to pick up on some of the happenings because I would have liked a little more explanation. But this film is easily the new horror generation’s ‘Hellraiser’? I give this amazing creature filled film 3 ½ stars and most likely be somewhere on my “Best of 2017 movie list”.

 

The Shallows (DVD) – Blake Lively is a young woman who is at a crossroads in her life and just wants to visit a place her mother told her about. So she surfs and loses herself until the last surf out she finds a large dead whale and the huge ass shark that happens to be hanging out there. Injured and panicking she must act fast to survive and gets on a rock during low tide. Trapped she must survive the night and figure things out as the shark circles. The next day after a few attempts people are killed by the shark trying to save her so she either dies on the rock or figures out how to escape? The film has that fun ‘Jaws’ feel, the film is shot really well, and Blake Lively puts on a great performance. Add this flick to your list of great shark films to watch every summer as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Dead 7 (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment does it again as they do their own ‘Magnificent Seven’ but with zombies. The apocalypse has happened and zombies or in this case “copperheads” have taken over. Years have passed and now some people like the simpler way of living (Old west) and some like Apocalypta gather an army of undead to overrun the small thriving towns to take their supplies. A small town deputy goes on the search for several individuals to be crazy enough to go up the mountain and kill Apocalypta and her army of undead. Its cheesy and somewhat watchable but remember I have watched much worse as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Nightforce (DVD) – Rich kids don’t have much to do until their friend Christy is kidnapped by drug dealing terrorists from Central America. All because Christy’s father Senator Hanson has declared war on the drug dealing terrorists. So they want a ransom and want him to back down from his new policy. Linda Blair and friends gather weapons and make their way to Central America where they meet up with a war vet (Richard Lynch) and his pet monkey to take down the man and his troops who kidnapped their friend. Hilarious and over the top violence rules in this movie as Linda Blair is fucking people up in order to help her friend escape. If you pay attention closely you also get to see the great actress Kathleen Kinmont in a bar scene. I give 3 stars just because I miss this type of entertaining films where random 80s movies were just made never questioned…

 

Outlaw Force (VHS) – So Billy Ray is a stunt show cowboy who also sings. But when his wife is killed and daughter is kidnapped by some punks rolling through town he becomes an outlaw! Paul Smith and Frank Stallone are two officers of the law trying to track down Billy Ray’s daughter but when they are not getting the job done Billy Ray takes the law into his own hands. One by one he shoots, stabs, and hangs his way through the punks. And when he isn’t doing that he is singing his song “This Honkey is gonna Honkeytonk Tonight”. Another random fun B-movie from 1989 that is most likely get lost when a new movie format comes out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #399

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Gross Movie Reviews #399

 

The Howling: Reborn (DVD) – Before we get started horror fans this movie seem to be pooped out of thin air? No one totally knows why or claims it? Just like most of the howling sequels this entry had nothing to do with the other sequels. No one is totally sure this was a reboot either? So I like to believe someone picked up an old Fangoria magazine or just stumbled randomly on Google about “The Howling” series and said, “Let’s roll with it!” Problem is no respected horror fan was excited by the last entry ‘New Moon Rising’… So why now I ask, who actually fucking knows but I bet you if this film had a different title there is a good chance it is released into theaters for teen girls not pooped out there in “On Demand land” like it was. Reboot, sequel, someone’s bad movie idea come to life, you knew I would eventually break down and watch this son of a bitch. The film is boiled down to ‘Teen Wolf’ (Michael J. Fox version) trying to fight off the new bullies in school who happen to be a pack of wolves led by his dead mum. And the teenage boy will do anything to protect his new hot girlfriend and himself from the psychos while locked up in their high school. I totally knew this film wasn’t marketed for me but it still gets 1 star. Maybe they can do a documentary on whose crazy idea it was just to do another ‘Howling’ flick?

a-boy-and-his-dog

A Boy and His Dog (DVD) – The mid-70s post-apocalyptic flick has been public domain at times and released several times on DVD but truly never gets the respect it deserves. Its 2024, after World War 4 and Don Johnson who plays Vic has a psychic link to a dog named “Blood”. Vic and Blood are just trying to navigate the Wastelands to survive and for Vic to get laid at some point. After finding a girl at the so called movies he follows her too finally to get laid but things get sidetrack as others have followed. Vic saves the girl and follows her to the underground against Blood’s wishes. So Vic learns for himself as he finds a weirdo colony actually sent the girl out to find a guy to help repopulate their underground community. Of course Vic wants none of this and escapes with one of my favorite movie endings ever! I give the classic 3 ½ stars.

 

Mutator (VHS/YouTube) – Brion James stars as David a man who just got the job to fill in for the missing security guard at the Tigen Corporation. With the doors shutting for the night and his night shift begins where he is debating with the other guards about the possible genetic experiment that went wrong at the facility several months ago. Meanwhile a couple animal activists convinced the young daughter of the CEO of Tigen to help them break-in and release some of the animals to make a statement. Once inside they only find dead animals and something is following them very closely. It’s a weird cat creature that has been loose since the accident and has tried to be covered up by the CEO. A straight-to-video sci-fi blast as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dead Man Walking (VHS/YouTube) – As I keep diving into the post-apocalyptic genre of the 80s I found this unknown gem that stars Wings Hauser, Brion James, Jeffrey Combs! Holy shit people I would watch this a hundred times just for the casting of those three alone. It doesn’t mean it will be the most exciting film like this one but sometimes you wonder if they get all-star B-movie casts like this to just sell the crappy flick. The year, 1997, World War 3 has happened and a plague has killed off half of the world’s population. The survivors if you wanna call them that are left in the ruins to survive and there is the few who are called “The Zero Men”. They have the plague but are not contagious but have a year or two left of life and can be unpredictable. Combs was a limo driver for his rich ass boss and the boss’s daughter was kidnapped by an escaped convict and zero man in Brion James. Combs finds Wings Hauser, another zero man to hire him to help track down this woman through the plague zone. Gotta give some love to the filmmaker thinking the old “fish bowl” AMC car would survive all this to travel through the plague zone. Again not the best of plots but the cast is what makes this gem worth tracking down and owning if you are a weirdo like me. I give the B-flick 2 stars.

 

Kill Show (YouTube) – A short film that features a young woman’s struggle with her perverted mind frame of being a clown. The film takes you into her mental breakdown and she gets off on hearing about her random killing spree that can only end in one way. She wants to be known/remembered, not forgotten. Todd Braley and crew do a wonderful job of making this an interesting and creepy short film that makes you want to know more about this young woman’s story. What adds to the feel of the flick is the way the film was shot as it felt like the crew might have been trying to give the viewer a unique disturbing view into her madness. Wonderful stuff from Mr. Braley and hope there is a lot more coming for film fans. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can rent it at www.reelhouse.org/infinitymediaprods/kill-show .

 

Digital Man (DVD) – Oh a fun horrible post-apocalyptic flick that has a cast that is worth more than the budget of the film: Matthias Hues, Ed Lauter, Chase Masterson, Don Swayze, Amanda Wyss, Adam Baldwin, Paul Gleason, and Clint F’N Howard! This B-movie combines Robocop and Cyborg Cop into a military weapon that was made to tackle terrorism. Digital Man is used in a secret mission to take out some terrorists and does it pretty quickly. Some higher-ups in the military are not happy with the test against the terrorists going well and try to sabotage Digital Man on his flight back. The flight goes down in a small town of Badwater and a team of humans and cyborgs are sent into the town to dismantle and retrieve the launch codes from Digital Man. Hilarious action scenes keep you awake throughout this B-flick that made question if ‘Dollman’ or ‘Robot Wars’ was being filmed at the same time on the same set. Oh the bad fun movie gets 2 stars.

 

Lesbian Vampire Killers (DVD) – Two bumbling friends (Jimmy just had a bad break-up again and the other just fired again from his job) take a trip into the countryside after a drunken idea they had. Instead of just enjoying the scenery and hanging with hot women they are now in in the fight of their lives with vampires, lesbian vampires. The lesbian vampires are trying to revive their ancient Queen Carmilla who was vanquished by Jimmy’s long lost relative the Baron centuries ago. But Jimmy is the saving grace as he has the power within him to kill the queen if he doesn’t get bitten first. If you enjoy films like ‘Shaun of the Dead’ and ‘Doghouse’, you’ll enjoy the humor in this horror/comedy also as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Prototype (VHS/YouTube) – A very boring sci-fi flick set in 2057 L.A. where a young scientist is interested in why the “Prototype program” disappeared 20 years ago and its founder ten years before that. She learns more about the program when given access and convinces a young wheelchair bound war vet to be a part of an experiment in the revived program. Once he does he becomes a weapon unbeknownst to her. Not a whole lot happens in the movie except a lot of robot vision and random robot sounds and for that I give it 1 star.

 

Desert Warrior (VHS/YouTube) – Look out boys and girls I found another post-apocalyptic flick from the 80s, made in the Philippines, and stars mother fucking Lou Ferrigno with a damn eye patch! If it helps to find this flick in your local libraries it was also released under the title as ‘Sand Wars’. Plagues of course have destroyed the world after World War 3 and Zerak (Lou) is sent to find an uncontaminated woman for his clan. The radiation fallout is destroying the clan and the leader wants fresh women to help keep the clan alive. Zerak finds a woman named Rachella who wants to explore outside of her underground bubble. Rachella gets in some trouble with mutants and Zerak saves her. Soon Zerak doesn’t want her to be used by his clan, he wants to save her. Lou is so bad ass in this flick he lets a mad doctor perform an experiment on him to give his eye back instead of death! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #324

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Gross Movie Reviews #324

 

By Tim Gross

 Hack

Hack – O – Lantern (VHS) – The lesser known 80s horror film is best known under its title “Halloween Night”. The film directed by Jag Mundhra which I had to watch the movie for the mere reason he has “Jag” as a name. Can’t help it, it’s a Pittsburgh thing. But anyway Jag directs a film about satanic grandpa who has special plans for his grandson or son? When you watch the flick you’ll understand. Gramps has a satanic cult going and he is shaping his grandson/son into the next leader of this evil cult. Problem is Tommy isn’t following Grandpa’s lead. The film is a lot of fun as we got incest, butt tattoos, a Dead End Drive-in poster, a horrible party band, and possible sacrifices! Sounds like a classic Halloween horror film worth watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Snakehead Swamp (SyFy Channel/DVD) – God damn experimental snakeheads find their way into the Louisiana swamp and they are eating all the locals. But one man believes it’s a legendary curse from a relative that was wrongly murdered 200 years ago who is angry and seeking revenge on those who live there. “Snakehead Terror” was more fun and SyFy Channel seems hell bent on going to the well one too many times on these types of films. SyFy, they all cannot be “Frankenfish”! I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Eye of the Tiger (DVD) – Its 1986 and Gary Busey hasn’t fought Mel Gibson and the great “end of the film fight” scene yet and hasn’t fucked himself up so bad with drugs he has become a running joke? Busey’s character is a man who just got released from jail after serving a few years and just wants to go back home and start all over with his kid and wife. Well, a motorcycle gang led by William Smith has other plans. Best way to describe this flick with legendary actor Yaphet Kotto is calling it an extended episode of “A-Team” starring Gary Busey! I give the film 3 stars.

 

The Lego Movie (DVD) – “Everything is awesome!!!” That pretty much explains the whole film and that song will get stuck in your head for days. The film is a great mix of comedy, drama, and family entertainment. I was surprised how good this movie was and is for anyone 2 years old or 200… Also you might end up wanting to bust out your old Legos too after watching this flick as I give it 4 stars.

Mega Scorpions (Full Moon Streaming) – J.R. Bookwalter decided in 2003 to put together a giant bug film starring the wonderful Trent Haaga, the beautiful Brinke Stevens, independent vet Jeff Dylan Graham, and before porn career Sunny Leone. Most likely because he had seen the popularity of it on SyFy Channel but because of a deal Full Moon had with another studio the film wasn’t released until late last year. Six foot scorpions fucking people’s days up… Yep, I’ll watch that! I give it 2 stars. And once again Trent Haaga was AWESOME!

 

Watchers 3 (VHS) – “I got it on the VH”, had to say it just for my mom! This is the Wings Hauser film that I get confused with “Xtro 3: Watch the Skies”. But anyway Roger Corman’s company takes a shot this time around of bringing Dean Koontz’s famous novel “Watchers” to the silver screen by making it a no budget remake of “Predator”. Not as exciting as Carl Weathers losing an arm to an invisible alien hunter but I do love me some Wings Hauser playing fetch with a golden retriever! And for that I give it 2 stars.

 

Insecticidal (DVD) – The movie’s tagline was ‘Sorority Girls vs Giant Bugs’… SOLD! An awesomely horrible film has a young lady named Scary Cami who is doing research and experiments on her pet bugs in the basement of her sorority. One escapes and scares a couple who is bumping uglies upstairs and forces her sorority sisters to spray them with insecticide! This later has an adverse effect as the zombie bugs soon begin to grow six to eight foot tall and have a hunger for stupid naked college girls. The movie is bad, real bad. But in how bad the effects and dialogue is at times I began to find it entertaining like it was filmed this way on purpose knowing that I would be watching it? So you like bad giant bug movies? Get the beer; get the pizza, because I will be coming to your house to watch this classic again! I give it 3 stars for this horrible yet entertaining horror film!

 

Snow Piercer (DVD) – Humans fuck up the future again in this brilliant post-apocalyptic action film that seems to have some star power names in front and behind the camera. 2014 many countries shoot up in the air this experimental gas or what not called CW-7 that is supposed to slow or stop global warming. Instead, it sends the world into the next ice age within days. Well, with a railroad that is connected completely around the globe two men invent a train that never stops as it protects what’s left of humanity. 17 years has past now and the train is still chugging along difference is the people at the back of the train are tired of being prisoners of the rich at the head of the train. And there is an order that must be kept or the train could go in chaos causing humanity to die off. So it soon becomes a story of one man and his idea of making it to the head of the train everyone will be equal. A lot of social issues, a lot of gore, and an amazing story make this one of the best films of 2014 that will not make the theaters for most. I give the film 4 stars even though I am not sure I like the ending?

 

Lockout (DVD) – An updated version of Christopher Lambert’s “Fortress” in many ways stars Guy Pearce as a convict who is asked to break into a space prison to save the president’s daughter Maggie Grace. Great blend of sci-fi, action and the old school one man will defeat 500 stories that never get old! Really enjoyed this flick but seeing Maggie Grace in this flick makes me really respect her film career since she was on “Lost” TV series as keeps picking these great action films. I give the film 3 stars.

Flu

Flu (DVD) – An amazing recent Korean film that tackles social issues when a horrible superbug or superstrain of Avian Flu arrives when human traffickers open a shipping container that is supposed to have a bunch of people that paid to be in Korea instead are all horribly dead except for one man who escapes. Soon between the escapee and the human traffickers the super flu is being spread throughout the suburb city of Seoul and with no cure Seoul, Korea is next and the world after. Doctors and foreign leaders struggle to come up with a plan of action until a cure is found. A very dramatic and social commentary on how the government treats people no matter what part of the world you live in. The film is dubbed for those of you who hate reading movies… Kyle Poling! The amount of cool gore shots is underrated also. I give this Korean flick 4 star.

 

Wolf Creek (DVD) – Since I was going to watch the new sequel it was time to give this Australian torture flick another chance as it came out in the mid-2000s with a slew of other torture flicks that for me isn’t always my cup of tea or beer. Three friends venture off to Wolf Creek Crater in the middle of nowhere to enjoy the sights but get a whole lot more when their vehicle refuses to start. The three friends soon meet a man named Mic Taylor who helps them out and takes him back to his camp/home. Soon the friends wake up to a man who wants to torture and kill them. The movie takes a long while to get going as it lays the story for you to sympathize with the characters like the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. I don’t hate it, don’t like it but it is Australian and glad I gave it another chance as I give it 2 stars.

 

Wolf Creek 2 (On Demand) – Surprised it took how many years later for a sequel but there is one and if you are a fan of the first you will like the second film as it starts out just like the first film. The first half of the film is all set-up like the first film but takes a very different but fun turn as it goes the direction of 1986’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” where it changes from just being another torture film to a complete fun chaotic ride into horror! The film dives knee deep in gore and character development of the cannibalistic bushman Mic Taylor. At first I wasn’t liking the sequel but as the film got going in the second half it made appreciate staying patient and enjoying this fun horror mess of a film. I give one of the best horror films of 2014, 3 ½ stars and hope there will be another sequel.

 

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You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews and Jagoff Massacre t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and a Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.