We finally release all our weekly podcasts we been doing (hahaha)

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This week we talk about another 3 genre flicks.  The first being THE STEPFATHER,  a classic that Kyle has never seen even though it stars Jill Schoelin his #1 scream queen.  Then we talk about a really weird whack-a-doo police story/serial killer flick in SLAUGHTER OF THE INNOCENTS.  And finally we chat up a Netflix based quasi found footage movie in DEMONIC.  We answer your questions and read all the news that went down during the week.  So, download this episode and make old Scott Glenn happy.

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This week we are talking about 3 more flicks unearthed from the dusty aisles of the video store.  First we have a sequel of an all time horror jam in THE STEPFATHER 2.  Directed by our good buddy Jeff Burr.  Then we go to the roller derby in the excellent UNHOLY ROLLERS.  And finally we cover a truly oddball film in which Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley dresses as a clown, climbs a tower, and goes on a shooting rampage at an amusement park in the “comedy” FUNLAND.  We also read all the news that was fit to print (or make up) this week.  And as always we answer all your listener questions.

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This week we have 3 more flicks to bend your mind.  First we have Nazis invading a keep only to find a kick ass monster in another Scott Glenn jam in THE KEEP.  Then we cover Kyle’s all time Schwarzenegger flick in THE RUNNING MAN.  And lastly we have a weird giallo flick from the director of Cannibal Holocaust that stars all-time great Donald Pleasence in PHANTOM OF DEATH.  Along the way we talk about some new news things and as always we answer all your listener questions.  So be like Captain Freedom and download this episode.

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This time around we have yet another 3 flicks to split your wig.  First we watch a truly bizarre flick featuring puppets, Coleco-Vision, public sex, liquor sandwiches, and phantasm spheres in NIGHTMARE WEEKEND.  Next we talk about zombie animals in ZOOMBIES 2.  And lastly we cover a live action adaptation of a very popular anime series in FIST OF THE NORTH STAR.  And as always we chat over the news and read your listener questions.  So, download this episode or Big Van Vader will beat you up and take your lunch money.

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This week we hand pick another 3 flicks out of the dustbin of the internet for review.  First we try really hard for Tim to get into the trailer bark boys, but ultimately Tim fucks it up as we talk about TRAILER PARK BOYS: COUNTDOWN TO LIQUOR DAY.  Then we talk of a tale of witches in the woods in EYES OF FIRE.  And lastly Kyle’s Dad (Roy Schneider) flips helicopters in BLUE THUNDER.  And as we do every week we talk about all the newest news and answer your listener questions.  So download this episode and get a physics lesson on the proper way to do sweet loop-de-loops in helicopters.

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 This week it is with heave hearts we do the show because we lost a true legend.   As Tim always says “The Man, The Myth, The Legend” Rutger Hauer has passed on.  So we honor the man by reviewing 4 of his flicks.  First we have the very nekkid Jennifer Jason Lee and Rutger Hauer storming’ castles and fucking everywhere in the Paul Veerhoven directed FLESH AND BLOOD.   Then we have a spy thriller starring everyone including Craig T. Nelson’s porn stache in THE OSTERMAN WEEKEND.  Then we have a pile of straight to video garbage in TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL.  And bringing up the rear we have the Canadian grindhouse influenced HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN.  So join us in honoring the legend that was Rutger Hauer.

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This week Tim starts his 3 week suspension handed down from Karen the head of podcasting H.R.  so Kyle and John fall back on a familiar topic… BONER JAMZ!!!  First we have a flick neither one of us has seen in SPLITZ from 1987.  Then we move on to an out of the box kinda boner jam in GHOULIES 3: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (HEY!  It’s got boobs, college shenanigans, and gross out humor so it counts as a boner jam in my book)  And lastly a real hum dinger in the movie that has to have the most hair gel ever used in a production in VALET GIRLS.  Also we cover the news and we read all of your viewer mail.  So download the episode or CBGB’s will shut down… oh wait!

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This week Tim serves his 2nd week of forced podcast suspension but Kyle and john are here to pick up the slack with a couple fine flicks you may have missed over the last few years.  First the hostage based cannibal splatter movie GRAVY from 2015.  Then we chat about MA starring the fantastic Octavia Spencer.  And as always we answer your questions and cover all the news that was fit to print.  So, download this episode or this podcast will eat you.  #FreeTimGross

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Yes people we are lazy and Grossfest is this Saturday but we do have five new episodes for you!

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This time around Tim, Kyle, and John take on 3 more flicks.  The first being the biggest movie Hollywood has ever put out in AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  Then we tackle on of the most amazing independent movies we have ever seen in THE HEAD HUNTER.  And finally a classic that Kyle has never seen in THE HAZING.  So download this come see us at GROSFEST this Saturday.

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This time around we tackle 3 finer genre flicks.  The first being the 3rd in the action packed trilogy in JOHN WICK: PARABELLUM.  Then we got an offbeat aquatic slasher in AMSTERDAMNED.  And lastly Jamie Lee Curtis shoots some dudes in BLUE STEEL.  So download this episode and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

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This time around we are covering 4 more genre flicks.  The first being a sequel to one of the most infamous movie of all time in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: DEJA VU.  And then we are on to an Argento giallo in FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET.  Then it’s a weirdo French art flick featuring an outer space fuck octopus in POSSESSION.  And lastly we have the king of the monsters in GODZILLA 2019.  So join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday and have some fun.  BRING BEER!!

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On this week show we pay tribute to the greatest football player of all time and one of the best genre actors we’ve ever had… JIM BROWN!  First we watch an all-time classic that Kyle has never seen in THE DIRTY DOZEN.  Then it’s off to a great slick of Blaxploitation in SLAUGHTER.  And finally we have Jim teaming up with Lee Van Cleef in EL CONDOR.  So download this show and join us at GROSSEFEST this Saturday.

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This week around we bring you 3 more flicks from the back alleys of the internet.  First (much to Kyle’s chagrin) we have a weirdo DAN HAGGERTY joint in MIND TRAP.  Then we cover a SHUDDER joint from Australia in 100 BLOODY ACRES.  And lastly we chat about the newest Netflix jam in THE PERFECTION.  So listen to this epic show and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

 

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Four new episodes for your listening pleasures…

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This week Tim, Kyle and John return to discuss 3 more fine flicks.  Starting with a great comedy jam directed by Jackie Kong and starring the Unknown Comic in NIGHT PATROL. Then we continue on to cover a really great art/horror flick in MESSIAH OF EVIL.  And lastly we chat about an all-time video store jam in 1984’s MUTANT.   We also talk about shudder T.V. and Joe Bob Briggs conspiracies, Shitty Amazon practices, why every podcaster is always sick, and Kyle watches more quasi racist Clint Eastwood movies.

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This week Kyle, Tim and John return with 3 more genre flicks to talk about.  First we go to jail to meet John Vernon and his weird sexy time jail house in CHAINED HEAT. Then, John talks about another video store jammy jam in Kevin Tinney’s WITCHTRAP (wick Kyle may have watched Witchboard mistakenly watched). And lastly Tim picks a real turd in THE KILLINGS OF OUTPOST ZETA.  We also talk about how awesome Alice Cooper is, how shitty KISS is, and we also answer your questions and read some news too.  So download this show or Gene Simmons will set your wallet on fire.

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This go around we reunite to cover all things Westeros in our annual GAME OF THRONES SEASON * Wrap up show.  And since Tim and John don’t watch (or care about) the greatest television show of our time Kyle has invited 2 sensible human beings to co-host the episode with him.  Those 2 dudes being T-Shirt Joe and Danno Klonowski.  So did the show end with a bang, or, did it go out with a whimper and shit the bed. You decide!  So, go and download this episode or you won’t get any tasty Varys BBQ.

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This week we return from our respective graves to chat up 3 more genre films.  The first being an independent slasher in the wood flick with the always great Tiffany Shepis in AXEMAN.  Next we dive into the deep end of Bruce-sploitation and we see what happened when Bootleg Bruce Lee fights Popeye, The Godfather, Emmanuelle, Dracula, and all sorts of other kooky dudes in hell in THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN.  And lastly we chat about Jamie Lee Curtis in an all-time 80′ slasher jam in TERROR TRAIN.  We also talk about the absurdity of Avengers: Endgame.  Tim continues his search for Platypossum, and we also have a ne fascination with our new found podcast mascot Chinese Popeye.  So download this episode or no spinach for you!

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

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Gross Movie Reviews #473

 

The Nun (DVD) – “The Conjuring” series continues as they did a prequel or more of an origin story for that scary ass nun that scares the nutsacks out of the Warrens. It is set in 1952 where a sect, group, whatever you wanna call them of nuns hang out in this remote castle called the Abbey outside of a small Romanian town. However these quiet young ladies have been keeping an evil secret hidden away from the Vatican and the world. After a young man who delivers food to the Abbey finds a bloody ass nun hung herself he thought he should get word to the right people. So the Vatican sends a priest with a mysterious past and a nun who has yet to take her vows to the Abbey and investigate the suicide. And see if the rumors are true about something evil living there? Once there they both understand quickly this evil is real and must be dealt with in a hurry as its power is beginning to grow. But no matter what happens we all know from the past films with the Warrens the ‘nun’ is still doing some ghostly shit so in the end what was the point of the film? For that I give a meh and 2 stars.

Empire of Ash (YouTube) – Been a little while since I touched on my second favorite genre “post-apocalyptic films”, so I thought it was time to tackle this Canadian thriller from 1988. If I got the backstory right it was supposedly filmed in 1986 then got rereleased in 1988 as “Empire of Ash II” in case you cannot find one, which is why. For another weird fact it was also retitled in some countries as “Maniac Warriors”, no wonder it took me a while to track this lower budgeted crap down. So the apocalypse happened and there are some survivors. Problem there is a crazy ass priest with his band of post-apocalyptic misfits killing survivors who are not down with the new god in ‘New Idaho’. A woman warrior (Danielle) and a weird bootleg of a bootleg loner warrior team up, bump uglies, and try to save the one’s sister. If that wasn’t enough plot for you on the other side of ‘New Idaho’ there is some generic scientists using some survival weirdos of kidnapping fresh victims, I mean survivors to use for their possible cure. In the end a lot of random filler and a hot young lady warrior 80s style fucking shit up but not enough for me to recommend yinz going down the same path of finding this as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Empire of Ash III (YouTube) – Yes for the love of Rutger Hauer it had a sequel and I watched it. Released in 1989 it still follows the same female warrior (Danielle) who lost her man, her sister, and really doesn’t seem to care… Supposedly its 2050 and William Smith playing the new bad ass nutzoid priest is out fucking people up in ‘New Idaho’. Danielle after getting naked decides to help a young man rescue his teenage love from William Smith before he boinks her for god! There was little recasting from the first movie as you see a lot of the same people in this sequel but most likely someone got fired to pay for William Smith as he wasn’t doing high profile projects any longer. Best thing I can say about this besides Danielle and William Smith is there are cannibals and for that I give 2 stars. And before I forget this movie was also retitled “Last of the Warriors” at one time.

 

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (Blu-ray) – Okay people I really wanted to like this movie but man this was disappointing folks. The film stars Shane Douglas as himself. Douglas has a feud with another wrestler Billy that gets ugly quick over a woman. Douglas ‘accidentally’ kills this wrestler Billy in the ring. Billy’s Brother Angus in order to get revenge he must sacrifice a nurse to begin his zombie horde, and pay a promoter to set up a private wrestling event at an empty West Virginia prison. A bus takes the wrestlers (Douglas, Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, and a few others) along with valets to the prison. Oh before I forget Kurt Angle makes a cameo through the side door that even seems out of place for this film? Now they all must fight through the hordes of zombies because Douglas and this now dead wrestler Billy could get along. Damn that is really playing a wrestling angle… too bad it is pretty boring. It has a little bit of gore and tons of extras but Piper has little to work with to help this feature along as maybe the film idea should have stayed dead as I give it 1 star.

 

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (Theater) – Holy fuck nuts the action does not stop in this wonderful film. If you are looking for story or closure into the John Wick storyline you won’t find it here. But if you are looking for some of the best action sequences ever for a US film and wanna see John Wick kill hundreds, Mark Dacascos be one of my favorite villains and enjoy his work, Halle Berry have dick-chomping dogs, and be introduced to some bad ass action dudes you may have not had the pleasure watching in other films like I have? Check your brain at the door and allow your mind to be action fucked by this great film. The movie has flaws if you sit back and have been studying the storyline of the franchise as my podcast partners John Shatzer, Kyle Poling, and I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. Imagery is top notch but somewhere behind all that the writers may have forgotten what makes this run? Either way people I don’t care as I was entertained as hell as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Cold Steel (VHS/YouTube) – Jonathan Banks who plays Isaac the Iceman in this direct-to-video thriller wants revenge against Johnny Modine no relation to Matthew Modine. Johnny and Isaac were young cops who were close buddies partying until they got into a scuffle they couldn’t handle in an alley way behind the bar. Johnny got knocked out; Isaac got his throat and face slashed, and their buddy died. Besides killing Johnny’s father on Christmas Eve night he uses a young Sharon Stone to lure Johnny’s trust and let his guard down so The Iceman can play with him before his revenge. Maybe not the best of thrillers but you have amazing car stunts, Jonathan Banks who has always played a great bad guy, Adam Ant as a meth dealer, and Sharon Stone naked, I am in to watch this again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Possession (DVD) – Well this 1981 film was one fucking weird movie folks. Mark and Anna are having marriage troubles. Mark was away for a long time with his government job only to come home and spend some quality family time and find out his wife Anna is not just fucking another dude… But she apparently gave birth to some weird gooey thing in the subway tunnel that she has sex with and you are supposed to decide if its: God, the devil, or just Mark’s clone for some weird unknown reason? When you think the film gets strange and blows past that and just get downright confusing as Anna has an apartment away from Mark and her boyfriend so she can take care of this thing. Which she must kill to feed it by the way but Mark doesn’t understand until the very end when Anna regrets it when they both die. Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neill were fucking amazing in way into the roles but I still don’t quite know what I watched in this gooey mystery as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up

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This week we tear into 3 more genre flicks.  First we have an Australian conspiracy flick featuring our favorite dude Donald Pleasence in GROUND ZERO.  Then we chat about a regional drive in oddity featuring a mutated sheep monster doing what a mutated sheep monster does best in GOD MONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS.  And lastly Kyle forgets which one of his favorite Mexican actors stars in this hard sci fi slick PROSPECT.  We also talk about the newest news, and all the regular jazz.

 

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This week Kyle gets called into podcast human resources to have a “talk” as we mourn the deaths of Larry Cohen and John Carl Beuchler.  But it’s not all gloom and doom as we will be covering 3 more genre flicks.  First Kyle covers the Netflix jam LOVE, DEATH AND ROBOTS as he gets his animation on.  Then John picks an all-time 80’s boner jam in UP THE CREEK.  And lastly Tim chats about a semi lost bit of sci fi from the darkest depths of the video store in DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.  Also we hit up all the news that is fit to print (or make up if you’re bloody disgusting). So download this episode or all our Rondo awards will evaporate.

 

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Your ears will either enjoy or hate us with our three latest podcast episodes available for download!

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This week we return with 3 more flicks.  First we chat about A new independent Bigfoot flick picked by Tim called WILLOW CREEK.  Then Kyle learns why he should never have laughed at Eric Roberts in STAR 80. And finally we have a history lesson on racial inequality from John in his flick KING OF THE ZOMBIES.  Also we retire football chat, Tim’s injuries and his body slowly decaying in his old age, drunk stripper stories and a ton more.  So listen to this show or Eric Roberts will tie you to his rape chair.

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Do you like 1982? We like 1982… So let’s talk about the flicks of 1982!

 

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This week we hail Satan,  get into our monkey suits, and fight prehistoric monsters with some rednecks as we talk about 3 more fine genre flicks.  First burn down all the churches and worship the devil in LORDS OF CHAOS.  Then water ski to an island of zombies in TEENAGE ZOMBIES.  And finally stop motion dinosaurs are the best dinosaurs in THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER.  Also we chat about all the flicks we have been watching and anything else that seems to rattle off in our minds.  So download this episode and don’t forget to cut vertically and not horizontally.

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Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week Tim, Kyle, and John recount all the weeks’ viewings and check into 3 flicks to review.  First being Tommy Lee Jones goes full homeland terrorist in THE PARK IS MINE,  Then we get into Robert Ginty straight outta dental surgery and fighting against the powers of the mighty Donald Pleasence in WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD.  Then Barbara Stanwick moves into a crazy house in an ABC movie of the week jam called THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE.  Also we talk the ins and outs of movie piracy, Living in Amish country, and CHUDS!!!!!

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This time around we talk about 3 more flicks.  The first being picked by Tim and is a movie that stars anyone who has ever been in a horror movie ever…LITERALLY in DEATH HOUSE,  Then another great ABC movie of the week flick in A COLD NIGHTS DEATH (Spoiler Alert} It has monkeys!!!  Then Art kills snooty folks in the newest Netflix jam VELVET BUZZSAW.  Also we talk about the newest and saddest horror gimmick to try to separate you from your money Fanmio.com We answer your questions,  and rundown all of this week’s flicks worth talking about. 

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Bloodbaths and Boomsticks has a new episode and a commentary for your listening pleasure.

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This week we find 2 truly awesome hidden gems, and one bona fide classic.  First we talk about a straight to video action flick that Kyle and John neglected to watch in Lady Avenger.  Then we talk about a bonkers 80’s ghost/supernatural/haunted house/ ghost flick in SUPERSTITION.  And then John shows Kyle BAY OF BLOOD for the first time.  Also, we talk about beautiful Italian girls, Bernie Mac, Pittsburgh Geography, The Geneva convention and its connection to war crimes, and lousy Queen movies.  So Download this episode or Bohemian Rhapsody will not win the Oscar.

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 Well… the Super Bowl was boring, predictable, and shitty.  So we decided to record a commentary for something infinitely more entertaining NEON MANIACS!

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New Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episode is up!

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On this week’s episode we got heists, cannibalistic forefathers, velpcaraptors in Vietnam, command ninjas, and jort sportin’ super Mario’s as we cover COMMAND NINJA, THE WASHINGTONIANS, and DEN OF THIEVES.   We also chat about what we’ve been watching this week, answer your listener questions, and go through all the news that’s fit to print.  We also fall down a Danny Trejo based wormhole looking for pig people movies.  Do we come back?  Who cares!  So download this episode of Fiddy will fuck with your daughter’s prom date.

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Check out all of our end of the year lists at Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week we call a close to Christmas and introduce Kyle to an all-time Santa jam that he has never seen in CHRISTMAS EVIL.  John talks about a really cool 50’s monster movie with a lot more going on than it seems in THE CRAWLING EYE A>K>A> THE TROLLENBERG TERROR.  Then Kyle (who doesn’t give a shit about Christmas) talks about a truly lost film in NINJA BUSTERS starring a third rate Kung Fu Cheech and Chong and that one dude from Big Trouble in Little China.  Plus we answer your questions and tell all the news that’s fit to print… or make up if you’re Bloody Disgusting.  

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Christmas vacation is over… the overtime has died down… and we say goodbye to 2018, but not before we have our say.  Join Kyle, Tim, John, and special guest T-Shirt Joe in recalling the worst and best movies we all saw in 2018.  This is the giant sized special annual get the fuck outta her 2018 edition.

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