Gross Movie Reviews #437

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Gross Movie Reviews #437

 

Bomb City (DVD) – A film based on a true story of punks who trying to mind their own business vs. the usual Texas football, so-called Christian family hicks in a town near Armadillo, Texas in 1997. The story revolves around a young man who may look like the typical punk on the outside but was an artist on the inside. He and his friends just didn’t fit in the typical way of life in this Texas town and one night, one thing led to another and a young man died. The kicker is the football that maliciously ran this kid down was a football player and served no jail time. Hell, he went to college! A really interesting true life story on film that needs to be seeked out by you as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Razorteeth (DVD) – Imagine the Polonia Brothers in 2004/2005 making a remake of “Piranha” and Jon McBride did the music? You have your movie… A government salvage mission of a sunken sub goes sideways when a package is retrieved from the wreckage but lost in a plane going down over a small town lake. The experimental killer fish comes to life and begins eating all that enter the water. Of course the government investigates to see how much they need to cover up or who to kill off? Kudos to the brothers for saying fuck the budget and still giving us weirdos that like ‘Killer Animal flicks’ a fun no budget film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Video Party Massacre (DVD) – A wonderful treat for fans of “The Video Dead” as this short film from 2014 shows the new generation how much fun the original film was? A man is delivered a T.V. he never ordered. He of course plugs it in to see how it is but it only plays one thing. No matter what channel he turns to it keeps playing the same movie. A black and white film with a man that has a machete and mask on and he is killing people. The man goes to sleep and the T.V. comes to life allowing this masked killer to exist in our realm. Great retro stuff as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Porn Shoot Massacre (DVD) – A hilarious take on the slasher genre that is set on one of the biggest porn shoots ever. A big time director is paying out a lot of money to bring in some high end talent for his picture. Problem is none of the talent is gonna leave as they are all being stalked and killed in the roomy set. Once the killing and boobs start it is your normal slasher film with a twist especially when one of the female stars is much smarter than what she is given credit for… Then it’s just a game of survival. A hilarious concept but I personally would have picked a few porn stars that may have pulled this feature off better as I give it 2 stars.

 

B-Documentary 2 (DVD) – Nick Charles is back with a sequel to his great documentary about the independent film world. With introduction done by Lloyd Kaufman of course, Nick and crew worked their asses off to get opinions and conversations from several actors, actresses, and filmmakers. Some are well-known and some are on the rise as they dig deeper in this documentary to help explain things to audiences that may not know what goes on in the independent film business. This time around we get: Gary Sherman, John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs, Adam Green, Lynn Lowry, Tiffany Shepis, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Glen Coburn, James Balsamo, Mathew Fisher, Kevin Forte among several others. They were all asked questions such as “How they got started?” “How should future filmmakers get started?” “What is the key to make a successful movie?” You see where this going but the varying opinions is what amazed me because I could argue different points with each of the people interviewed but also agreed with several things that are said on this DVD. Viewers and filmmakers alike this isn’t just a ‘need to watch’ movie… People this is a ‘need to own right now’ documentary that gives you more than just an inside look of independent filmmaker but a peak into the lives of these celebrities you may not have had the pleasure of knowing or hearing of their experiences. I believe Nick and crew got the right mix of talent that is featured in this movie as they are all just different enough to make this work flawlessly. This absolutely perfect film documentary should be used in film school as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

Soultaker (DVD) – A B-movie if there ever was one where Joe Estevez is ‘The Soultaker’ and Robert Z’dar is the ‘Angel of Death’. These two get into an argument when a group of people escape a car accident or so it seems. Once the group gets over the shock of somehow surviving the horrific accident they quickly find out they are not alone. As they are being chased by ‘The Soultaker’ they try to figure out why people can’t see them or hear them as the group tries to get home for the night. A very cheesy but entertaining flick for the B-movie lovers as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Revenge of a Radioactive Reporter (DVD) – The film has a few titles but these were the other two that was mostly used during its 1990 release: Radioactive Reporter and Atomic Reporter. This Canadian film is about a reporter named Mike who is trying to break a story on a local power plant leaking toxic waste. He believes he has the evidence but needs someone from the plant to come out and say something to prove his findings. So when Mike is invited to the power plant the big corporate types have him killed or they think he is dead when Mike is kicked into the toxic waste. His girl Richelle is having a tough time getting over Mike’s death but the corporate big wigs have it out for her to since they are unsure what was said to her about the story? But a new hero of sorts is born or at least just for this movie as a disfigured Mike begins his disgusting gooey crusade to kill all the corporate types at the power plant! Yes it is the Canadian version of “Toxic Avenger” but don’t let that stop you from enjoying all the cool effects and just a fun horror movie about toxic waste. I give this feature 3 stars.

Klown Kamp Massacre (DVD) – May 15, 1991, Edwin the clown went on a murderous rampage at clown camp at Bonzo’s ranch. Many years later and Edwin who was never caught is enraged when the famous clown camp is opened again. Clowns come from all over to learn from the best but are being stalked and killed one by one. Pay attention because on purpose it is “Friday the 13th” with clowns but has a fun twist that makes the film concept fun in the end. This low budget horror film has a little bit of everything: blood and guts, bootleg Crazy Ralph, clown porn, not taking themselves too serious, and a little bit of talent to pull off a must-see massacre movie that I wasn’t expecting to be this damn entertaining! I enjoy finding gems like this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

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Gross Movie Reviews #423

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Gross Movie Reviews #423

Invasion of the Mindbenders (VHS) – A lower budgeted teen comedy from the likes of a producer from “Spookies”. Her name is Genie Joesph and from the stories we have heard over the years from cast members and crew of “Spookies” she was not well liked. But apparently not too long after being on set of my favorite 80s horror movies she set forth to do this weirdo comedy where the backdrop is a high school of unruly students are ruining the school. Or at least according to the principal and its all beacuse of that damn rock-n-roll. In steps in Dr. Gunbow and his experimental sounds that make even the toughest students into straight A students in mere days. With the principal desperate and tired of our two main characters Crash and Frankie he allows the experiment to happen one day in detention. Anyone that listens mellows out and becomes the perfect student except for Crash and Frankie as they have headphones. Once there is no more rukus in the school Crash and Frankie become suspicous, grab their nerd friend and investigate. Meanwhile the principal likes the results and wants to speed up the results which causes literally a GLOW wrestling match to break out in the high school salon. The B-grade film has its hilarious moments and is worth watching for two reasons: one if you are a “Spookies” fan this gives you some random weird triva to what happened to one of the producers. And second we get the great quote from Crash and Frankie when asked what can be done to change the students back to normal, “My first idea was to have everyone jerk off!” Might not be the best high school hijinks flick out there but worth the scavenger hunt if you ae a “Spookies” fan? I give it 2 stars.

Hamburger: The Motion Picture (DVD) – Possibly put out there as a sex comedy but doesn’t give you the goods nearly as much as a “Pivate School” or “Hardbodies” but that is secondary to what makes this great flick work. We are introduce to Russell, he has been kicked out four colleges now and if he doesn’t get his degree and can’t inherit $250,000. Russell constantly keeps getting busted having sex with all the hot girls. You know how we all have this problem? But anyway Russell heads down to ‘Busterburger’ for a meal (clearly making fun of McDonald’s from the opening credits and theme song) and sees there is an actual Busterburger University where you can get a degree. So after not banging the cashier he fills out his application and off to the campus Russell goes. But Russell gets some bad news as Dick Butkus is his drill instructor and has it in for Russell and his sex crazed roommate. Here at Busterburger they learn how to make burgers, keep the customer happy, how to say “put that cookie down mother fucker”, and become the best employee possible. Completely ridiculous and hilarious with the film’s climax being when a bus full of fat people showing up to eat at the Busterburger test site, with the bikers following, then the cops. Of course the movie is dated and if you are over 25 you won’t get most of what is going on? But this is a great look into what people thought of McDonald’s in the mid-80s and the film has possibly the random but funniest characters to attend a burger coolege… I give this beautiful film 3 stars.

The Foreigner (DVD) – Possibly one of the most underrated flicks of 2017 I did not see coming. Jackie Chan is driving his daughter to a shop to pick up her dress. He has a slight car accident out front when a bomb goes off inside the dress shop killing his daughter and several others. From here you are expecting Jackie Chan to go all Jackie Chan but he doesn’t. Jackie just wants answers! Meanwhile Pierce Bronson is Irish dude who is in with the British government mainly to try and keep the peace between the Irish extremists lets say and the Brits? For most of the movie you are not totally sure if Pierce’s asshole charcter is behind the bombing or just trying distance himself from it as he was one of these extremists 30 years ago. But Jackie wants answers and everyday sits in this lobby waiting. When he doesn’t get the answers he wants and no one has been found that did the bombings Jackie begins to stalk Pierce’s character. And again you are expecting the wild acting, stunts, and so on but his character being 60 years old gives up his restaurant and starts a one man crusade of just fucking people up! Think “Taken” but if possible done in a better way? It can be debated whether this is a better version of “Taken” just for the mere reason Jackie Chan goes away from what he is known for and becomes possibly a bigger bad ass than he ever was with this hardcore action/drama flick. Kudos to Jackie Chan because I did not see such a flick coming this late in his career as I give it 3 1/2 stars.

Insomniac (Vimeo) – A thriller that runs a little over 30 minutes about a man named Roger who has sleeping issues. Like a lot of people with a sleep condition it can really fuck with your perception of reality. Roger keeps getting these weird visions from time to time that makes him call this doctor he found on a busines card named Dr. Pleasance. Roger goes to see him and gets this new experimental drug from Dr. Pleasance. But the good doctor has some underlying thoughts behind why he gives Roger the experimental drug? The drug doesn’t help Roger as much as intensify his odd visions that get more and more bizarre. A dark trip into an injuried mind from filmmaker Mathew Fisher as I give it 3 out 4 stars. Catch up with the people behind the film at: http://www.facebook.com/BoomBasticFilms .

Death Racers (DVD) – Its 2033, and some dumb ass built a jail on top of a water treament plant where Raven from ECW aka Scott Levy aka The Reaper is the lord there. He plans on releasing a toxin into the water supply killing everyone in the whole state. So the state governor has a race, a “DEATH RACE” to have four teams race to capture or kill The Reaper before he contaminates the water supply. Oh yeah two reasons your ass will watch this shitty trainwreck and laugh like I did: First, most of the car chases and kills are filmed in Asylum Entertainment’s parking lot. And second, Insane Clown Posse is one of the four teams! 1 star for complete crap and 3 stars for making me laugh my ass off for over 80 minutes.

Wonder Woman (DVD) – Even though it was a prequel and didn’t have any interest seeing it in the theater I did still wanted to see it. And I was right… It’s the one thing DC cannot fuck up in their movie universe. The casting of the Wonder Woman character, the origin story, not playing down the importance of the character in the superhero world, all great stuff for popcorn movie goers. This movie explains how this young woman leaves her Amazonian land to help a man and his friends to stop a diaster that is about to happen at the end of WWI. And find and destroy Aries. DC Universe gimme a sequel because I am too hungover for wasting my time explaining why this film should have been introduced before “Batman vs Superman”? Go watch this great film again as I give 3 1/2 stars.

Death Race 2 (DVD) – Since I gave the remake another chance I thought it was time to watch the sequels to the remakes which are actually prequels… WTF? Luke Goss is this no nonsense bad dude who works for great character actor Sean Bean. A bank robbery goes horribly wrong and Goss’s character is sent to jail but not any jail a place that is for the worst of the worst. A former Miss Universe has come up with an idea for not just a news story but a TV show for Ving Rhames and his studios that are floundering. Miss Universe controls the ‘fight to the death’ matches inside and puts them on live TV. Meanwhile, Bean’s character puts out a hit on Goss wanting him dead. Once the ratings go down for the death matches, “Death Race” is born where Goss can flourish with the help of Danny Trejo. Goss’s character gets into a horrible crash where he burns alive and we get a “Too be continued” after everyone involved basically dies or you believes die. The movie is watchable as I give it 2 stars.

Death Race 3: Inferno (DVD) – This flick continues the storyline where e see not only the ‘Death Race’ is born but the ‘Frankenstein’ character is born. But someone likes this idea of the ‘Death Race’ and wants to make it global. And he wants all the characters to race in I believe Africa? Baha Racing… I can’t remember but they are in some remote area of the world. But the point is Danny Trejo, Luke Goss, and others come up with an idea to not only break out, but to make it look like they died, and create another ‘Frankenstein’ for the race so the race can keep living. Again this was watchable but was actually looking to see a true sequel but believe that crap called “Death Race 2050” may have killed anything of the sorts. So if needed just go back and watch “Deathsport” with David Carradine, old you would as I give this 2 stars.

DJ Stan Da Man (YouTube/DVD) – Stan is a guy who believes he is the best DJ in town for the wedding/party world. Stan believes he knows what is best for every party he is working at. But what makes this film work is the cast of supporting characters Stan works with and sometimes fights with. They are not just throw away characters but interesting supporting characters that are well written as they have their own little subplots. This helps take the viewer through the highs and lows of Stan’s life. DJ Stan believes he is an untouchable person in his line of work until he is finally fired. But as always our titled character finds a way to survive. This independent film isn’t the usual stuff I watch but always cool to watch something out of my comfort zone worth watching. The film proves that Mr. Fisher is willing to take a chance on a film that doesn’t fit a genre but also is able to craft interesting characters with their own subplots. This is a prime example of an independent feature that I would throw out there in conversation for movie viewers looking for something non-horror as I give this 2 1/2 out of 4 stars. Plus I believe this is the first film I have watched outside of “The Wedding Singer” that takes you on the inside of the DJ/wedding/party world. Catch up with the people behind the film at: http://www.facebook.com/BoomBasticFilms .

Dogged (Vimeo/DVD) – The film revolves around a college kid named Sam who comes back home for a funeral. Sam is from an island community where not many leave and stay their whole lives. From the beginning when Sam is back everyone seems to have their own little secret or secrets. Rachel the pastor’s daughter is a little upset that Sam left in the first place. But also Rachel needs to tell Sam something but they keep being interupted. As weird things keep happening and the pastor’s actions keep geting weirder by the minute the pastor wants to assure Sam its in his best interest to stay away from Rachel. If that wasn’t enough Sam’s parents missed the tide and cannot get back to the island the next day but want Sam to still go to the local festival the pastor holds. Eventually Sam finds himself out in the woods and finds some strange cult shit going down. Before Sam can do anything about it Father David has Sam and Rachel tied up and about to be murdered for some offering. The film has this weird cool “Wicker Man” maybe even “The Devil’s Rain” vibe to it but believe some editing of the two hour movie could help give it a little more creepier vibe. Father David keeps the creepiness going throughout but I feel like we could have had a couple more scenes of Sam’s father total weirdness explained. Overall an enertaining story driven cult film that will find its audience. Me personally I would like it shorter but that can debated. I give the UK flick 2 1/2 out of 4 stars.

The Belko Experiment (DVD) – A well crafted film about mostly US workers in another country working at the Belko Compnay that could be or not be a government experiment. Just another typical day at work until all the locals are sent home or stayed home supposedly for a soccer game? Then a voice comes over the speakers saying you have 30 minutes to kill someone and these steel walls seal up the building. When people don’t listen they start blowing people’s heads off from the tracking devices inside their heads. After so much time goes by a certain amount of people must be killed if not everyone basically dies. So of course everyone turns on each other and it becoming a huge slaughter. Great gory flick, but this is a beauitful reminder to the folks out there this is happening! We are being tracked constantly and this will or already has happened somewhere. Because its in the water man and don’t forget those weirdos getting the chip place in their hand so they can pay for groceries without their wallet! I might be crazy but this film only feeds into what I believe goes on behind closed doors with the dark side of our own government and those 1%… Oh yeah I give this 3 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out http://www.grossfest.com for all the details!