Gross Movie Reviews #551

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Gross Movie Reviews #551

The Leopard Man (DVD) – This 1943 classic has a nightclub manager convince a model he is sweet on to walk during a dance routine with a leopard on a leash like it’s an everyday thing. Well the cat gets rattled by the dancer on purpose and escapes into the woods. Shortly after a young woman is found killed by this cat supposedly? This of course sets the town to fear the worst and lock themselves in until the cat is caught by authorities but club owner Manning believes it is something else not the cat? A fun black and white thriller worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, and Tia Carrere star in this 1987 feature that feels a few years older but has a young man play hero in a convenience store then be run down by a group of drunken young people. Mom not ready to let go of her son asks a favor of a friend down the road to use her voodoo to bring her son back to life. Doing so he returns to life or life of the undead to seek revenge on those who wronged him. If you like your horror features cheesy this is super cheesy as I give it 2 stars.

The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.

Crypt of the Living Dead (DVD) – After an archeologist’s strange death, his son Chris comes to a small island that has a lot of superstitions of where his father was digging. Chris comes to bury him and decides it should be where this dig was but a tomb needs moved. When this is done Hannah the Queen of the Vampires is unleashed and night after night she gains strength willing each death of the superstitious villagers. Chris not exactly believing in the legend but knows something is weird wants to bury the tomb before any more deaths occur. A slow burn 1973 vampire flick that is worth a watch if you never heard of it as I give it 2 stars.

I Walked With a Zombie (DVD) – This 1943 thriller has a nurse sent from the states to a small island to take care of a man’s wife who is considered ‘mental’ for her coma-like state she has fallen into. It is believed by the doctor there that Mrs. Holland suffered a side effect of a high fever that has caused her to blankly stare like a zombie and not do much? The nurse falling in love with the husband but feels not all is being done to help the patient looks into the jungle for answers as the natives may know how to help the young lady in the coma-like trance as I give the film 2 stars.

Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .

Chompy and the Girls (DVD) – If there wasn’t enough oddball weird horror films for 2021 there is this feature about a young woman trying to commit suicide but fails. Jackson is depressed and even she tries to reach out she fails at that too until she randomly texts a man who she just found out was her father six months ago. They agree to meet in a park for the first time and talk until they witness a man walk up to a girl and swallow her whole with his gigantic mouth! From there Jackson and father Sam are on the run as this thing on foot seems to track them down no matter where they go? It gets even weirder as they feel trap by this interdimension being they communicate with it and find out it isn’t the horrible parasite they thought it was but a being trying to save the world until Sam’s wife kills it. Now it is up too Jackson, Sam and Jackson’s friend who took a roofie to figure out what needs to be done. Movie is weird as balls and I loved it as I give it 3 stars.

George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume One (DVD) – An anthology of films that are introduced to audiences by the zombie master himself George Romero who seems to have fun with each intro. First entry is about jungle cannibals, second is about a lonely finding something on a beach that was supposed to stay buried, and third is directed by Tom Savini that has a doctor making a house call for a teenage boy who seems to be dying? Fun little stories for horror fans that is shaped like your favorite old uncle is telling them to put you to sleep as I give this collection 2 stars.

Slumber Party Massacre (Remake/SyFy Channel) – The story begins in 1993 at a cabin where driller killer Russ Thorn attacks a group of young women just having a nice weekend. One woman survives the tragic ordeal and 28 years later has a daughter (Dana) who is about to partake in a weekend with the girls at a cabin near this event. Along the way we get a few images, music, lines of dialogue to pay homage to the original. But in this role reversal remake of young people being into crime podcasts and murder tours we find out the girls are there to see if Russ Thorn still exists? They have plans to put this legend to rest! Dana wants to do it for her mom and if that means putting the males across the lake in danger so be it. Now the role reversal thing is more the males are the victims and show nudity unlike the women in the original. But spoiler alert women fucked Thorn up in the original also so I wasn’t totally sure why this was part of the storyline other than to be filler? The only expectation I had going into this film was “don’t suck out loud”. It wasn’t terrible but I feel it will be forgettable for most young horror fans just because the original is lost on most as many may have never heard of it unlike: ‘Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St., Hellraiser’, the usual suspects. They should have just made it “Slumber Party Massacre V” just to see what horror fan is actually paying attention to this besides me? Either way you knew I was watching it because it is a “massacre” film as I give it 2 stars.

V/H/S/94 (Shudder) – With the last entry leaving horror fans disappointed it seemed filmmakers went out of their way to give something extra to fans and it paid off. We begin with a SWAT team entering a warehouse where they were expecting to bust a huge drug ring but instead find TVs in different rooms and victims/dead bodies with their eyes ripped out in front of them. It almost looks like a cult-like suicide pact among the dead humans there. As the SWAT team goes floor to floor investigating they stop long enough for the viewer/us to watch a segment. We get a rat man segment, zombie segment, experimenting on humans segment which is just brutal fun, a militia segment where members are dying mysteriously, and the SWAT team is the wrap around as the viewer follows them through this maze of the bizarre. This film is so gory that it is almost cartoonish at times… The only bad thing about this wonderful horror flick is the wrap around, which is very unusual for any anthology film. The ending they give the wrap around just sucks and takes a little away from such a solid entry that more than made up for ‘V/H/S: Viral’. In the end I still enjoyed this near perfect anthology as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Inheritance (YouTube/DVD) – A newer film from a newer filmmaker Eric Palmer who has the task of telling a story about a woman inheriting a cabin. Scarlett just learns about her father dying and she has inherited this cabin and is already leaning towards selling it and being done with it. But after a couple girlfriends come over talking vacation they convince Scarlett with friends they should check it out? One problem, when they arrive at the cabin good old Uncle Drake is too pleasant on the young lady talking about selling the place and explains it has been in the family for a very long time. Scarlett very late into the film finds out Uncle Drake likes to conjure demons and needs young Scarlett for a sacrifice! A lot of times I am all for character development in an Indy film but this somehow had a little too much as they put on the back burner Uncle Drake runs a satanic cult that can conjure a demon? Just my opinion but felt the whole Uncle Drake arc should have been the main focus not Scarlett’s friends getting to know each other even more around the fire. I feel there was more of a story to tell about Uncle Drake to make this film a little different but again Eric was able to give the audience characters you actually feel something for as I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #544

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Gross Movie Reviews #544

The Alchemist (DVD) – A lost Empire Pictures flick from 1983 that has just shown up again recently on Full Moon Streaming and just to make it weirder the film was directed by Charles Band but only after the original dude was fired three days in. A woman who has visions of the past is driving cross country with her new hitchhiker buddy and stumble upon a man who is cursed. This cursed dude (Robert Ginty) swears revenge on an evil magic man whose curse does not allow the man to leave this dimension of existence. Visions, weird things that don’t make much sense, and “The Exterminator” make this rather unknown thriller a worthwhile watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Devil’s Sword (DVD) – A super bizarre Indonesian film from 1983/1984 that was titled ‘Golok Setan’ in certain countries. A great young warrior is asked to do a favor for “The Crocodile Queen”. He is asked to remove a husband from a village that she wants for her sexual pleasures. The young man almost fails when his former buddy Mandala appears on a horse only curious to the carnage of the villagers. Mandala almost stops the kidnapping of the husband but is only misdirected by “The Crocodile Men”! This sets up the subplot of Mandala finding his master half dead and goes on his quest for revenge and retrieving the Devil’s Sword which is considered the most powerful weapon in the whole world. If any of this sounds interesting know that this film is non-stop action full of: black magic, Crocodile Queen, Crocodile Men, a sword to rule the world, a Cyclops cave creature, blood and guts by the bucket loads, over the top martial arts, and there is freakin’ laser beams coming from a warrior’s hands at one point in a fight! Grab your friends, grab the pizza and beer, because buckle up you are in for one the craziest films you have ever had the guilty pleasure of watching as I give it 3 stars.

Wrong Turn (Remake/On Demand) – Don’t know whose bright idea this was… but you are a dumb ass. Anyway six friends stop into a small Virginian mountain town to start their hiking vacation. They are warned to “Stay on the trail!” But of course the friends do not and have a terrible accident. One by one the group is being trimmed down by this “off the grid” village of folks who have been established in the woods since 1859 and call their settlement “The Foundation”. Six weeks later a father whose daughter was part of the group of six people gone missing goes investigating and is not happy with the locals as they just keep trying to scare him off. But this father refuses to give up and finds his daughter but they must fight to survive if they even have a chance of seeing civilization again… Outside of the glimmer of fake cannibals ¾ of the way into the film and the bad joke at the end about a backwoods family this film is not ‘Wrong Turn’. Not totally understanding why they used the title other to cash in but from what I have read the remake has gone unnoticed so it most likely should have just been called ‘The Foundation’. Wasn’t a fan of it having basically two endings but I still give this bootleg ‘Wrong Turn’ cash-in 2 ½ stars but I still say yinz could have done better?

Child in the Night (DVD) – A 1990 TV movie where a kid Luke (Elijah Wood), sees his father murdered on the boat dock. Jackie a psychologist is brought in by the police unwillingly to get Luke to talk as his father’s death has left the kid in shock. The police investigation hinges on the kid snapping out of it and talking to the good doctor so she can relay the answers. Great cast for this TV thriller and you can see why Elijah Wood was gonna be good early on as I give it 3 stars.

Corpsing (DVD) – A 2012 independent flick that also known as ‘Lady Frankenstein’ and for good reason as the film is a combo of ‘Frankenstein’ and ‘Night of the Living Dead’. A curious doctor is invited to a sick woman’s lab where she explains her experiment that could change the world but has also left her in a wheelchair. She was a military scientist who thought she was being held back and felt more comfortable working out of her home lab on her ultimate experiment… Her goal is to remake a person from the right corpses? She completed the task, the experiment was going well, he was learning, things progressed, she fell in love with him, and then things began to fall apart unless the experiment was able to feast on living things. Once she allows the experiment to bite her she follows the downward spiral into horror that knows no end. There is only one ending for all involved and it will be bad but that doesn’t stop this independent feature from pulling out all the stops to suck you in and make you feel the experiment and the scientist as I give it 3 stars.

Aquarium of the Dead (DVD) – Hey kids ‘Zoombies’ has another sequel! A shipment of the tainted animal meds is sent from the Eden Zoo to the Aqua Zoo and now there is a re-animated octopus fucking the place up. As things lockdown as humans are being attacked the Aqua Zoo officials most figure out how to stop this horror or at least next time dispose of the bad animal meds. This movie is bad, not a good bad either as it has no redeeming value or rewatch value as I give it 0 stars.

The Butcher Surgeon (YouTube) – Another dark short film from the duo Philip Brocklehurst and Alex Wesley about a brilliant surgeon not making his therapy session. The good surgeon documents his spiral into madness of what he has done before his great suicide. A wonderfully dark and brutal short from the duo that makes you wanting more as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Teacher Shortage (DVD) – It is yearbook time and a female student is ruined when she is listed as “Ugly Skank” in the yearbook. After being laughed at she runs for the girls’ restroom where she commits suicide. This of course sets up the story some time later where teachers are having meetings to discuss how to be a modern teacher and how their style needs to change to help the modern student. But one by one the faculty is being murdered in horrible ways until the killer is revealed. Is the filmmaker trying to make a political statement on the state of teaching these days or just exploring another way to make an Indy slasher? Either way the film has a great cast, a solid plot, but there is something missing that holds this film back? I am not totally sure if it’s just the music or maybe just needing a different ending but throughout I just felt the film was missing that extra something to make it memorable as I give the film 2 stars.   

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Cannibals and Zombies Collection (DVD) – Addison Binek is riffing a collection of movies again but these are not just any movies… They are zombie and cannibal movies! What makes this a unique rough ride is Addison takes you through some the lesser known, grittiest, maybe even crappiest off the wall flesh-eating hilarity you have ever witnessed. You’ll laugh, you will most likely cry over what Addison and you will sit through but it will be fun as I give this collection 4 stars as usual.

I Saw What You Did (DVD) – A 1965 film about a couple teenage girls crank calling people for fun as the parents are away. (Yes kids, this was a thing before everyone had a cell phone. Now yinz just call them “spam”.) Anyway as they are causing hijinks throughout the evening of calling several people they eventually cause a death of a woman whose husband Steve kills her in the shower when she sees if he would like to take the call. Just to keep the prank going the young duo calls Steve again to inform him “I saw what you did”. This sends Steve in a panic rage and eventually kills the neighbor woman he was having an affair with. Surprisingly a very harsh plot for 1965 unless you were watching a Hitchcock or a Hammer film in my opinion. Now Steve is on the prowl for the young lady who called his house as he must erase her also as I give the film 3 stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks gets back to work!

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After a vacation over the New Year we return to the podcasting game with 3 greater genre flicks to discuss.  First we talk about a spaghetti western directed by 2 titans of Italian cinema Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei in 1987’s SCALPS.  Then Tim covers last year’s outta nowhere remake CASTLE FREAK.  And finally Kyle goes to his favorite movie making country Australia to talk about a movie franchise that should be bigger than it is in WOLF CREEK 2.  We also cover what we have been watching the last 3 weeks, The Mandalorian season 2 finales, And we welcome long time listener and good friend Patricia to the show as she will be running out letterboxed account from now on.  So download this episode or you won’t be welcome in Australia… YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #521

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Gross Movie Reviews #521

 

Exorcism at 60000 Feet (DVD) – This is the horror film version of ‘Airplane’ that stars few horror convention all-stars with music from Richard Band. Viet Kong Airways is having its last flight to Vietnam and Father Romero is onboard taking a trip after a tiring exorcism. But noises keep being heard in the cargo area of the plane as the demon spirit of Bill Moseley as hitched a ride and hell-bent on haunting the good father.  One by one the demon possesses the passengers on board and kills them in horrific ways as it tries to get closer to the priest. The film has all kinds of political incorrectness good or bad that steals its plot from that ‘Twilight Zone’ episode. The film starts off funny for the first twenty minutes but quickly the joke dies of a horrible dull death causing me to only give this film 1 ½ stars and it stars Lance Henriksen as the pilot for the love of Rutger Hauer.

 

Spree (On Demand) – Another film that reminds me that I am getting older and it is possible this film is only aimed for a certain small age bracket of audience? Kurt is an average dude who like most young people these days has his whole life on social media or in this case “Kurt’s World”. A streaming channel that barely has double digit followers and Kurt so wants to be internet famous like most young people these days. After many years of trying to have everyone accept him as an internet influencer has a chance meeting with an up and coming comedian that has a hundred thousand followers enters his Uber, oh I mean ‘Spree’ car for a ride. From here he has installed cameras throughout the vehicle recording everything and was already in the process of his plan of becoming a serial killer just for the clicks and follows. Remember kids if you are not trying to be an influencer then you are no one! One day changes it all as Kurt decides to kill his online bully and takeover his feed and the downward murder spree goes from there as it all leads back to the popular comedian he is obsessed with. This of course goes viral. For me I can totally believe this is where society is going anymore just because I have little faith in humanity for how it has been acting recently. But saying that I found the film annoying from the beginning and found the Kurt character super annoying which the filmmaker may have been going for anyway? For all I have said I still believe this film is literally made for a small audience that I am not a part so go figure as I give this unlikable film a ½ star. Wouldn’t be surprised people under the age of 21 feel this is the “Best Movie of 2020?”

 

The Pact (DVD) – Another sub-par paranormal goobly goo nonsense where a young woman named Annie moves into a family home that is haunted. Instead of leaving of course she needs to know more about her family. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I feel most paranormal films fail to ever impress me because they are usually boring and really do not come up with something interesting or maybe new to make the viewing memorable? There is a few out there I enjoy but I feel studios mass produce this type of cheap thrill more than zombie flicks as I only give this 1 star. If you need to abuse yourself more this film does have sequels… If you care Casper Van Dien shows up in the picture.

The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood (DVD) – This 1980 sex comedy is a prime example of a film that find that niche between porn and a R-rated film that has one very short sex romp. William Warkoff owns a popular Hollywood studio wants his producers to find the next big hit to film and make him millions of dollars as his studio is falling behind in these modern times. They come across this “Happy Hooker” book that would be the perfect project for the studio. Problem is the Happy Hooker herself, Ms. Hollander wants to come to Hollywood from New York and discuss terms and be sure her story is told correctly. The studio doesn’t care for that so once there Ms. Hollander feels she gets the run around. This causes a young and talented grandson to convince Ms. Hollander the film could be made independently. They come up with a script and then come up with how they can get the funds as Hollander’s lawyer and let’s say friends are called in from New York. Of course hijinks ensue with lots of nudity that includes a butt shot from the legendary Adam West! There is a scene I was surprised we didn’t get to see his dong as it came close. Before Skinamax, Viewer’s Choice, and satellite porn channels you had these popular sex comedies that ride the edge of the ratings system as I give the film 2 ½ stars.     

 

After Doomsday (DVD) – Lilith lives in a world that has recently fell apart that she wanders looking for anything that has survived. Biggest problem is she just wanders! No mutants, no assless chaps with motorcycles, any plagues, etc. Just flashbacks of military pilots discussing before they blow up the world and a subplot of Lilith’s husband who knows about the oncoming apocalypse and is trying to get in with the 1%. Yeah I know there isn’t much budget and do not tell me it’s art, but yinz could have fleshed out this subplot with the husband much more to make this film at least watchable. Forgive me but this movie is an undesirable bag of hot garbage that doesn’t even deserve a rating because it is so bad!

 

Apocalypse Road (DVD) – I am never done abusing myself with bad post-apocalyptic films as I found this film about two sisters wandering the wasteland with a sniper tracking them. As they are chased by the sniper they get separated and make their own ways to the coast as if this will save them both. They were wrong and this was another big waste of my time as not a whole happens except the sniper chasing them from beginning to end and do not care if there was an actual reason as I give it 0 stars.

Castle Freak (Shudder/remake) – So hey kids Fangoria are at it again as they helped reboot another Charles Band classic in “Castle Freak”. The original starred Jeffery Combs and Barbara Crampton and it was directed by Stuart Gordon with a small but vicious cult following for the film. This time a twenty something woman Rebecca and her asshat boyfriend John are in a car accident that causes her to go blind. Meanwhile in Albania the mother she never knew about is keeping a creature in the basement of a castle locked up and whips herself for acknowledging it. The mother passes away and Rebecca inherits the castle and the creature she doesn’t know about. Once there her boyfriend is trying to sell everything quickly and lies to Rebecca whenever he can as he needs drugs again just to deal with the situation. But Becks becomes curious of the castle as she cannot see but constantly hears sounds behind the walls and becomes even more curious when an ancient book is found in her mother’s closet. Once their friends get there from the states to help move stuff the one friend they call the professor begins to read the book and believe Becks isn’t crazy. The book speaks of “The Old Ones” and “Cthulhu” and on top of that the professor discovers the creature in the basement is Becks twin sister from her grandfather and the disgusting rape of her mother. Just like the original it starts off slow but unlike the original I believe this has more plot to give and enjoyed where the climax of the film goes. I liked the original and I liked this film but neither was over the top wonderful as I just believe it does deserve a chance as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Update on The Puppet Monster Massacre remake!

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Dustin Wayde Mills, the director that brought you the award-winning 2019 horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY, has announced the voice cast for the upcoming remake of his first feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE!  In 2010, Mills released his debut feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE. Now 10 years later–and with dozens of features, short films, and music videos under his belt–Mills is planning an epic remake of his first feature with all-new creatures and puppets, and an all-new story! The project’s Kickstarter campaign is in its final six days with just under 20% of its goal remaining!

Film synopsis:This time around THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE will tell a tale of ancient curses, eldritch entities from beyond, an evil family of hideous monsters, and a hero’s destiny! Expect several terrifying monsters, spooky locales, copious amounts of puppet gore, and a finale featuring a massacre scene for the ages in this harrowing and hilarious horror adventure.

Crew (with IMDB or other relevant links):Director/Co-writer/Puppeteer/Voice Actor.: Dustin Wayde Mills Co-writer: Sébastien Godin

Creature FX: Vermilion Novak

Voiceover cast (with IMDB or other relevant links):

Raimi Campbell – Dustin Wayde Mills
Gwen – Erin R. Ryan (Slaughterhouse Slumber Party, Babysitter Massacre)
Ward Legrasse – Wes Allen (Deathcember, Power Bomb)
Ruby Campbell – Sadie Tate (Space Babes from Outer Space, Amityville Vibrator)
Herbert Whately – Sébastien Godin (Lycanimator, Blood Rites of the Vampyr)
Chief Whitmire – Brad Jones (The Cinema Snob, Jesus, Bro!)
Mona – Roni Jonah (Easter Casket, Volumes of Blood)
Clash – Jared Kaelber (The Puppet Monster Massacre, Zombie A-Hole)

Additional Voices:
Brian Papandrea (Plank Face, The Bad Man)
Steve Rudzinski (CarousHELL, A Meowy Halloween)
Josh Eal (Easter Casket, RIP: Rest in Pieces)
Zach Shildwachter (Powerbomb, Her Name Was Torment 2)

Kickstarter link:https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shsptour/the-puppet-monster-massacre-a-puppet-horror-comedy-feature/

Teaser trailer link:https://youtu.be/U4Udp25FDjk

Social media:instagram.com/dustin.w.mills

Expanded Info:Dustin Wayde Mills, the director that brought you the award-winning 2019 horror/comedy SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY, has taken to Kickstarter to fund a very special project. In 2010, Mills released his debut feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE. Now 10 years later–and with dozens of features, short films, and music videos under his belt–Mills is planning an epic remake of his first feature with all-new creatures and puppets, and an all-new story! After reaching over 30% of its goal in less than 72 hours after launch, Kickstarter named THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE a “Project We Love!”
Once the film is complete, backers will be able to see the finished film before anyone else. But after that it will be released for free online. That’s right, people will be able to watch the film online for absolutely free! While Dustin will be selling DVD and Blu-ray copies of the movie for those who want a physical copy, he ultimately wants THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE to be seen by as many people as possible. 

Dustin says: “I believe in this project so much, I have already invested thousands of my own dollars into bringing it to life. I’ve also spent hundreds of hours learning new software to handle the VFX, I learned how to sew, and I even developed new puppeteering techniques including 3D printed control mechanisms. This thing is already soaked with my blood, sweat, and tears and I haven’t even started filming yet! I want THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE to be a warm, cozy, horror blanket. A crazy, fun, brightly colored, over the top spectacle that you’ll want to watch over and over.”
Joining Dustin behind the scenes is co-writer Sébastien Godin (writer/director of LYCANIMATOR, SLIMOIDS, and BLOOD RITES OF THE VAMPYR) and creature effects artist Vermilion Novak, a graduate of Tom Savini’s Makeup and Effects Program. Dustin will be reprising the role of Raimi Campbell from the original film. Additionally, Wes Allen (POWERBOMB, DEATHCEMBER) and Bradley Jones (THE CINEMA SNOB, JESUS, BRO!) have already been cast as voices in the film and additional voice casting is underway.
Backers can get signed Blu-rays, DVDs, and digital copies of both the new and original PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE as well as on-screen credits and thanks. However, the biggest perk is extremely limited: Five executive producers will have puppets made of themselves that will be killed on-screen in the movie, and then receive pieces of the puppet once production is complete!

About Dustin Wayde Mills: Since releasing his debut feature THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE in 2010, Dustin Wayde Mills has directed over a dozen feature films ranging from the Troma-esque insanity of EASTER CASKET to bleak extreme horror in the HER NAME WAS TORMENT films and even some more family-friendly genre fare with HALLOWEEN SPOOKIES. He has also worked on visual effects and makeup for films such as SUPER TASK FORCE ONE, HARVEST LAKE, SPACE BABES FROM OUTER SPACE, and HOVER in addition to his own films. His previous feature SLAUGHTERHOUSE SLUMBER PARTY, by far Mills’s most ambitious single feature project to date, had its World Premiere at the 2019 Nightmares Film Festival before an award-winning festival run. 

Cannibal Hookers review

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Cannibal Hookers (Vimeo/Remake) – So the independent icon Donald Farmer is back with his latest project and it is a remake of his 1987 independent cult classic ‘Cannibal Hookers’. Carmilla is a beautiful all powerful woman that sleeps in a casket for no other reason than she is the leader and her blood gives cannibal immortality to other young ladies or in this case “hookers”. We get several scenes of the cannibal hookers eating their clients or johns (one of them being the famous Addison Binek) until they come across Kristen. They take interest in her and bring Kristen into the group. But with bringing her into the group she has baggage like a crazy, shouting priest Kristen ran away from. On top of that we have a bounty hunter searching every dark place she can looking for the cannibal hookers to kill them. The feature is fun, a little sleazy, and of course knowing the icon Donald Farmer is still going strong. But what didn’t help the film is the filler or cannibals at the bootleg Chucky Cheese place, the quick kill of the crazy priest, and the use or lack of “the bounty hunter”. Overall I believe I am a bigger fan of ‘Shark Exorcist’ but this remake did give the line of the year “We are sisters with benefits” and for that I give the entertaining flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Gross Movie Reviews #506

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Gross Movie Reviews #506

 

Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street (Shudder) – A documentary that has been years in the making that centers on the actor Mark Patton from the second film in the series. For many years Mark was blamed by many fans for the failure of the sequel. In reality it did not fail it was just pointed out how “gay” the film was and the blame was placed on Mark Patton by the writer of the film and many critics over the years. This project and the aftermath changed his life so much he chose to walk away until he was contacted for the ‘Never Sleep Again’ documentary about the whole series and this is where Mark’s journey begins. A very interesting look into an industry that can just crush a human being into nothing but Mark has made it past it all to enjoy what he has now. This is a must watch for every Elm Street fan and horror fans in general as I give this 4 stars. For me I just always felt the film never fit the flow of the series and seemed darker than the first. But also too I wasn’t looking for the gay subplot like so many and just watching it for what it was a sequel. And for the love of Freddy ‘The Dream Child’ was just downright terrible not ‘Freddy’s Revenge’ and so glad Mark is on top of the world now.

 

Itsy Bitsy! (DVD) – A black egg is stolen from an ancient tribe and it is given to an old man for his now deceased wife. But the old man doesn’t see it that way and unwilling to trade or sacrifice to this ancient egg, things are predicted to go bad in his life soon. When the egg is broken it unleashes this huge hideous spider that slowly takes over the attic of his new neighbors or nurse and family who are going to take care of him. While things disappear, strange noises are heard, and the family is breaking a part slowly the huge spider is planning on the family being the feast it wants. Not a great spider film, it’s more of a second rate Goosebumps film than something fun as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Victim (YouTube) – A 1972 TV movie starring everybody’s sweetheart from the ‘Bewitched’ show, Elizabeth Montgomery where she plays a character named Kathryn Wainwright. Kathryn is worried about her soon-to-be divorced younger sister Suzie. So Kathryn travels to her sister’s out of the way place during a storm that has knocked out phone lines and roads. Once there Kathryn cannot find Suzie and has learned from a friend of Suzie’s the long time housekeeper was fired a while ago. As the mystery thickens the soon-to-be ex-husband shows up and the housekeeper is still lurking around. A quite fun TV mystery worth checking out if you got 70 minutes to burn as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Strange and Deadly Occurrence (YouTube) – A TV movie from 1974 that looked like it had potential starring Robert Stack and Vera Miles. They are a family with their teenage daughter move out from the big city to the mountain small town area. First six months of living there everything is just fine then all of sudden problems with the electricity; a weird ass doctor dude asking to buy the place, gopher problems, and the daughter is having some strange dreams at night. The cops have been a few times and just believe it is the rich city folk overreacting, but when the weird doctor shows up dead in the pool things get interesting… Or should have? Not to give too much away like I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks: The buildup was cool but the payoff can go suck a bag of dicks because it was lame as I give this limp entry of a TV movie 1 star.

Shellmont County Massacre (DVD) – A small town has a serial killer problem suddenly and it quickly gets out of hand when a young man in a clown mask decides to start knocking on peoples’ doors. He absolutely enjoys the horror he brings to those who open the door. The serial killer is nicknamed “The Shellmont Butcher” when the bodies keep piling up and the sheriff no longer wants to bring the killer to justice but just end his existence. The actors were good, great exploding head effect along with some fun gore scenes, but the middle of the film feels more like filler than actually having something to keep you interested throughout the film. Hack off ten minutes or so of the filler and I believe independent fans are saying a lot of great things about this film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Battle Beyond the Stars (DVD) – Plain and simple this was Roger Corman’s answer to ‘Star Wars’… ‘The Magnificent Seven’ in outer space. A peaceful planet is threatened to be destroyed in a few days by an overlord in John Saxon. A young man is sent out into space to seek out mercenaries who would be willing to help their cause in fighting this overlord. Depending how you are looking at the ship the kid is flying it is either a huge ballsack or a pair of giant boobies! Anyhow the young man finds some characters who are more than willing to help fight Sador in a war in which Sador has never lost. The biggest threat to them all is the weapon called “Stellar Converter”, if they can stop that they can stop Sador. For 1980 and on a Corman budget the film still holds up somewhat today as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Milwaukee Murders (VHS) – A never released S.O.V. movie with big hair, so-called twenty-something actors playing high school kids, an exploding Ford Pinto, and a killer on the loose. But it isn’t just any killer it is Vanessa’s boy toy Huey who is being teased for seeing an older woman by his friends. Vanessa convinces Huey to kill for her and as proof she wants body parts. But be careful what you wish for Vanessa as it backfires and Huey comes for her also! The movie is terrible and hilarious as you can see why it was never released intentionally. Even it is bad I am glad I did get to watch it as I give it maybe… 1 star.

Massacre on Aisle 12 (DVD) – It is Christmas Eve and Dave has started his new job at the big hardware store. Dave and another employee try to move a heavy tool crib until they open it and find out along with all the store employees there is a dead body in it. Also a large sack of money! The employees are faced with a dilemma keep the money or call the cops. Or just lockdown the store and awkwardly not try to kill each other while trying to act like you don’t want the money… Money or not the bodies drop quickly and the filmmakers use the location to its fullest as I give this fun little horror comedy 3 stars.

 

Thunder (VHS) – Mark Gregory, a young Native American comes back home only to find trouble quickly with his local law officers. If that wasn’t bad enough a construction company has begun to build on the ancient cemetery that is protected by a treaty between the government and Indians many years ago. Thunder tries to do the right thing and take it to the authorities, the bank, but none of give a crap because he is a Native American. So Thunder decides to go to war with the police department and the construction company himself. The authorities try to make it out like Thunder is a crazy person but a news reporter who happens to be driving through the town stays to write a story. This might be the only way Thunder isn’t killed by the authorities? A fun Eye-talian rip-off of ‘First Blood’ starring Bo Svenson as the sheriff and it was shot in Arizona in 1983 as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Thunder 2 (VHS) – After barely escaping a few years back Thunder returns to his small town again but this time he returns as a deputy sheriff who was hired by the governor. Thunder quickly learns of a corrupt deputy that is taking advantage of young poor Native Americans with drugs. Soon Thunder finds himself framed and sent to county jail. But of course that doesn’t last long as he breaks out and goes to war again with the town and the police. The first film was a fun rip-off where the sequel seems more like a thrown together film in hopes of making a quick buck with no thought as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Blood Feast (remake/DVD) – I had no expectations going into this film because just like everyone else I felt this had been done already… ‘Blood Diner’ anyone! Hell even ‘Blood Feast 2’ made a decade or two ago? But of course that didn’t stop anyone as an American family the Ramses headed to Paris six months ago and started an American restaurant. The owner Fuad is having tough times so he picks up a second job working night shift at a museum. One morning Fuad loses his pills which are critical to his health and that night is when he witnesses Ishtar. Ishtar has fascinated Fuad so much he goes to the library and does research on the goddess. Thus the research makes Fuad believe he has found the answer to his failings in Paris and it starts with a feast that upcoming Saturday night with his family. Not only is he feeding on those he is killing but his family will also feast all in the name of Ishtar. There is doubt the film is gory as hell and Robert Rusler has that voice that just fits the role for the film but I was still not impressed overall. The film isn’t overall and maybe this is more for the newest generation of horror fans but I will always have ‘Blood Diner’ as I give this film 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #489

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Gross Movie Reviews #489

 

Crawl (DVD) – A Category 5 hurricane is roaring through Florida and Haley is asked by her older sister to go check in on their father. He isn’t picking up the phone and the storm is getting worse. Even after everyone has been evacuated Haley chooses to risk her life to drive to their old house where she finds her father’s truck but he isn’t responding when she enters the house. Haley investigates further and heads into the crawlspace under the house where she finds her father out cold and injured. When Haley’s father comes too he warns her about the gators which Haley figures out quickly. As the water rise with the storm the more the gators become feisty! If the storm doesn’t kill them the gators from the gator farm will as they are feasting on anyone nearby. Wonderful gator effects! This has to be one of the best killer animal flicks since the old school “Alligator” as I give this 4 stars and for sure will be on my ‘Best of 2019’ list.

 

Trick (On Demand) – The movie opens in Benton, New York on Halloween 2015. A young man goes completely nutzoid during a harmless high school Halloween party and is stopped by one of his classmates. Patrick Weaver or Trick the kids’ call him is taken into custody at the hospital but refuses to answer any questions. Soon as he is left alone with an officer in Omar Epps he escapes only to be shot three times, fall several stories off of a building and disappear. A year passes with no real concrete answers and it happens all over again in a different small nearby town. Then again in 2017 and then again in 2018 and by now Trick has gone viral where teenagers are copying the urban legend wanting to be true and keep it alive. Meanwhile officer Denver has retired because no one believes his theory of the same person is doing this. Things get real interesting with the climax of the film as the real reason these murders keep happening on Halloween every year. A cool Halloween slasher flick that doesn’t use the usual formula to get you sucked in as I give it 3 stars.

 

US (DVD) – Jordan Peele is back to trying scare the pee pee out of everyone with this smart horror film that will having you think after the last 30 seconds of film. It is 1986 and a little girl gets lost off the boardwalk and finds a mirror maze to enter. Something completely weird happens and stays with her all her life. Present day and now with a family that little girl now an adult heads to the same beach and boardwalk for a vacation. One night the family’s parallel universe dark doppelgangers pay the family a visit and it is a fight to the death for who will survive in this world. A really fun 70s weirdness vibe to this that will make the horror film very rewatchable for years to come as you will be looking for different things every time. I give this wonderfully uncomfortable horror flick 3 stars and thank Mr. Peele for giving us horror fans something to talk about.

 

Ever After (Shudder) – I know there is a lot of weirdoes like me out there in the horror community especially people who like watching just zombie flicks. Well, do not let this one pass you by as this newer German zombie film is about two cities that have survived the zombie apocalypse a couple years later. Two women decide to sneak out on a supply train that goes between the cities for totally different reasons but both want out. They rely on each other to keep watch and keep each other company as they must set forth on foot after the train dies out. And the recovery team has been eaten by zombies. The zombie film doesn’t exactly play by the usual movie zombie rules with running zombies and possibly one character talking to God or Mother Nature? It depends how you look at it… Well worth the watch for being a different twist in a bloated zombie genre as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Wax Mask (DVD) – I thought it was time to revisit this weird supposedly big Italian mess because Fulci got sick and eventually died during production. Set in the early 1900s a new wax museum has opened up and people have begun to go missing and presumed murdered. Boris the owner of the new attraction as a tendency grabs living or mostly dead humans and makes them into an exhibit with his weird machine. It is a pretty straight forward horror film exception Boris is like a vampire and can live forever and the machine is never fully explained. It’s more of Boris has unlocked some weird art thing of making his art more lifelike as I give this movie 2 stars.

 

Disco Exorcist (DVD) – If you like lots of flapping dongs, flapping melons, sex, and it mixed with satanic rituals then this is the flick for you kids. Rex is an oversexed male who cannot get enough women. But in the end he is just looking for that one woman to satisfy him. He meets Rita one night at disco and after a night of bumping uglies they both think it may be the right thing to be together. But soon after Rex meets one of his favorite porn actresses Amoreena Jones and quickly become friendly under the disco ball. Rita not having it curses Amoreena and Rex. Any women that are with Rex will become flesh eating demons! Rex believing Amoreena is the one he sticks with her if she is a demon or not so he can put an end to Rita’s evil ways. A hilarious horror film if that is what you want to call it but honestly if you need to raise your movie sex quota along with bad joke quota this fits it as I give the hilarious flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Child’s Play (DVD/remake) – So this flick took me by total surprise just because out of the horror franchises this one may have be the least yelling for a remake. Especially when the past two sequels which were made recently and most likely reinvented the series for the long haul? So I put aside anything I knew about the series and gave this a chance. The ‘Buddi’ dolls are made in Vietnam where a disgruntled employee fucks with the protocols and program inside a doll and then commits suicide. The Buddi doll does just about everything like the ‘Alexa’ which we will get back too. At first Andy wants nothing to do with the doll because he is getting too old but soon sees the benefit of Chucky because he is the only friend he has. But because of the wonderful horror film “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” Chucky believes it would be funny to kill Andy’s friends. After this attempted Andy and friends try to destroy Chucky. But of course it is never that easy as Chucky gets an Iron Man upgrade and tries to take over a whole toy store just to kill Andy and anyone else there. Now… why the movie isn’t called “Alexa Will Kill You” I am not sure? It was like the movie was made to warn us about ‘Skynet’ sorry, I mean Amazon aka Alexa but anyhow if this isn’t called “Child’s Play” I am cool. The movie has some cool kills, I laughed my ass off about TCM 2, and Mark Hamill did a good job (still not Brad Dourif) voicing Chucky but why couldn’t this been called something else and yinz go remake “Hellraiser”? Or maybe some other horror franchise that hadn’t reinvented itself without a remake recently? Just pointing it out as I give the film 2 stars. It’s not bad just go make “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5” with Jeff Burr and we will call it even.

Undertaker (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films has taken the time to give this independent zombie film from Japan the Blu-ray treatment. But this isn’t your typical zombie film as the usual case when we get to see horror films from overseas. Filmmaker Naoyoshi Kawamatsu goes for something a little more dramatic but cool as it begins with a young boy named Ryouichi. Ry survives an accident during an evacuation of his building at the beginning of the zombie infection. Years pass and now the young boy is an adult and known to the people as an assistant to the Undertaker. Ry is hired by a family to go look for their daughter, cut off her head, and bring it back. This is so families know their loved ones are at rest and this family is ready to move but first they want to bury their daughter. So Ry goes into the post-apocalyptic major city, Japan, only to struggle with what life was like. A very smart and dramatic touch to the independent zombie genre as I give the “Undertaker” 3 out of 4 stars. The Blu-ray extras include deleted scenes, a making-of, and a short film called “On Your Back”. Zombie fans will want to have this as part of their collection. You can find the film at www.synapse-films.com .

Watch Me When I Kill (Blu-ray) – A late 70s giallo from director Antonio Bido, where a young woman walks into a pharmacy only to witness a man murdered. Some giallo fans may also know the film as “The Cat’s Victims” as that is the title in this new transfer of the film. Mara is now being stalked throughout the film and people are dying left and right. Mara’s boyfriend takes up the cause to track this person down and put a stop to it as the police are nowhere to be found. The film does have it usually intense scenes and tries to keep the killer a mystery until the end but I believe giallo buffs will more excited by all the extras that come with this 4K remastered film. The package sports the new transfer which looks beautiful by the way, a commentary, interviews, three short films from Antonio Bido, and what giallo fans will most likely wet their pants for a bonus CD soundtrack of the film score. The movie is your usual Italian giallo but all the extras in this package make a lot more than that and I am thankful for Synapse for that as I give the package 3 out of 4 stars and great work as usual. You can find the package at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

It will be here before you know it: Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross, July 25-26th, 2020. Check out www.grossfest.com for details.

We have three episodes up for Halloween listening pleasures!

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This week Tim and Kyle return to talk about an anthology from the U.K. in GHOST STORIES and a Rambo rip-off from schlockmeister Joe D’Amato in STRIKE COMMANDO.  Also we got some hot and heated Football chat, We also talk about Kyle finding a great new show to watch in Norsemen,  When collecting becomes obsession, Stinky Evil Dead 2 box sets, Spock’s strange obsession with whale sex, He Man and all his glory and we also answer your questions and run down all of this week’s movie watching activities.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

On this installment of the show we welcome our Cinema Wasteland buddy and all around good dude John Shatzer.  So, we get right down to it and talk about the latest wasteland show which included a my bloody valentine reunion in which Kyle failed to attend… cause he sucks!  But anyway we get the low down anyways.  We also talk about a grindhouse/drive in classic snake fest in STANLEY, Tim talks about a post-apocalyptic 80’s flick that got past all of us in CITY LIMITS, and we also talk about a wack-a-doo flick filmed in the Philippines in THE KILLING OF SATAN.  And finally Tim chats about 80s post-apocalyptic flick that got by us all in CITY LIMITS.  Also, we take a crack at programming our own personal dusk till dawn movie a thon.  We also answer all your questions and review the week that was.  So, download this episode because many, many snakes were injured in the recording of this podcast.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we cover the new HALLOWEEN jam right off the bat as Kyle was fresh off a viewing of it and had a lot to say.  So does Tim and SPOILER ALERT one of us loved it the other well.  Meh…
Then Tim covers Christopher Lee as Dracula in an early offering from Hammer Studios in THE HORROR OF DRACULA.  Then Kyle talks about a very underrated and under viewed apocalypse flick starring Peter Dinklage in I THINK WERE ALONE NOW.  Also we read your listener mail, Talk about the movies we have seen in the past week, and Kyle makes a bold Roseanne based prediction.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #452

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Gross Movie Reviews #452

 

Horror of Dracula (DVD) – One of the early Hammer films that made Hammer a household name in 1958. The classic starred Peter Cushing as Van Helsing and Christopher Lee as Dracula and became the magic formula that a generation of horror fans cherished. And still do. Up until this film people only knew of Universal Studios version of Dracula. The original film was good but was a little boring at times. This version took a little twist, added bright blood, and Cushing and Lee playing their roles to perfection made this film an absolute delight. Harker is sent to Count Dracula’s castle to see if the rumors are true and if so kill him. Harker fails but gets his diary out for Helsing to find and give him clues on what happened at the castle. Problem is Count Dracula now wants a new woman and heads out looking for Harker’s Lucy. No one believes Van Helsing about Count Dracula until he finds an undead Lucy trying to take a child to her crypt. This version of the Dracula films might be the first film I would introduce to a new fan of vampires. Don’t get me wrong Bela Lugosi was awesome but they upped the ante having Cushing and Lee at their peak. This film gets 4 stars all the way.

 

Halloween (Theater) – Remake, sequel, forgetting everything in the series? Take your pick as Blumhouse Productions goes the route of JJ Abrams “Star Trek” in bringing Michael Myers back for another installment. That’s the best way to describe it. But I will give you the long way about it also: Okay folks, first you are supposed to forget everything after the first film 40 years ago… Second, even though “Halloween II” took place the same night Halloween 1978, forget that too just in case. Third, no this isn’t a remake of “H20” even though there are a few scenes of déjà vu. Fourth, Laurie Strode and Michael Myers are not brother and sister which I believe they explain quickly and brilliantly during the film. Fifth, didn’t Laurie Strode die? Oh yeah, you were supposed to forget that too since you are not supposed to remember she died already in Part 8. Sixth, no Busta Rhymes and Michael died for good at the end of part 8 (if interested “Halloween: Resurrection”, remember don’t blame me). Seven, didn’t Rob Zombie start a new timeline? It’s very therapeutic for me to explain this.  Now with all that out of the way I absolutely fucking love this film. It felt like a part of the series part sequel/part renewing of original material. After The Babysitter Murders in 1978 Michael Myers was captured by the Haddonfield Police and Dr. Loomis. Since then Michael has been sitting in a maximum security asylum for the past 40 years and Laurie Strode has become a basket case doomsday prepper who suffers from surviving that night. A British podcast team comes asking questions on the 40th anniversary of the murders. Laurie is more concern as they are about to move Michael to a horribly tortuous secured facility where he will live out the rest of his life not saying a word. They show him the mask and it does get a reaction but still no words. It is believed that both Michael and Laurie only live to kill each other at this point? Of course Michael escapes and starts murdering spree going house to house until finding out where Laurie and her family is. This time Laurie is prepared! If you pay attention there is a lot of talk of Dr. Loomis, the school daze scene, Laurie Strode falling out the window and getting up, the people behind this really did their best to incorporate the first film. Including the opening credits! Simply it was nice to enjoy the series again without trying to reinvent the ‘Boogeyman’ as I give this 4 stars with a little hesitation for the mere reason I believe there is a couple different endings for this film and that MAKES ME INTRIGUED.

I Think We’re Alone Now (DVD) – A very interesting post-apocalyptic film that stars Peter Dinklage in a small town where a plague of sorts hit the world. He has been living there for some unknown amount of time cleaning out houses and burying the dead. Del catalogs everything and is at peace with the life of living alone. Then one evening fireworks go off and a car crash in town. Del gets up goes to investigate only to find a young lady with a gun and knocked out. Once awake he explains she should be on her way but Grace is looking for a home and just seeing the sights? The two get to know each other and Del accepts Grace’s presence into his peaceful world until it is shattered when he awakes and hears voices. He peaks downstairs only to meet her parents, sort of? As she asks for help from Del but refuses and leaves but he is told of a town that has gotten past the apocalypse and has returned to normal life again. It haunts him until he takes a drive looking for her. The film hints constantly at something more sinister is going on… This film gets 3 ½ stars from me as it comes up with a post-apocalyptic world that isn’t all about assless chaps, Eye-talians, zombies, and flesh eating viruses. This is something different that does not focus on the problem as just people existing and moving on.

 

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (Theater) – This story is somewhat separate from the first film but continues inside the Goosebumps universe. A couple of kids running an after school business called ‘The Junk Bros.’ are asked to clean out an old house where they find a trunk. The trunk holds an unpublished book from R.L. Stine/Jack Black called “Haunted Halloween”. Once they open it they unleash Slappy. Slappy is hell bent on making the book a reality and giving it the ending that has yet to be written? So on Halloween night Slappy and the Goosebumps got everybody running for their lives again as now Slappy wants his own mother. The kids are forced to not only save mom but defeat Slappy or it becomes ‘Haunted Halloween’ every day. The sequel introduces ‘The Haunted Mask’ and a few other Goosebumps characters we may have not seen in the first film but this one felt more like its own story. The first film felt more of an origin story to the “Goosebumps” story world. Of course it’s left open for a third but I will be surprised to see a third film unless it is “Horrorland” in theaters? The info that is circulating out there why this one took so long and why they didn’t have most of the main characters return from the first film was: conflicting schedules. Don’t worry Goosebumps fans the movie is still a lot of fun and might not have been the sequel I believe we all wanted… It is still very entertaining and gets 3 stars.

 

Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau (Blu-ray) – An unbelievable documentary that dives right into the rumors and truth on what the hell really happened on the set of the remake of “Island of Dr. Moreau”. This is a subject if you were a horror fan, let me correct that a Richard Stanley you were nothing but excited for this project back in the mid-90s. “Hardware” and “Dust Devil” were amazing projects and breathed some much needed air into cinema. I believe the project was being remade for what the third time now but Stanley had some fresh ideas. But when the crew and Stanley started shooting that’s when all the weird stories began to happen, weird casting choices, Stanley being fired and disappearing, New Line Cinema wasting millions of dollars, etc. The stories seem to be urban myths as the internet wasn’t what we know it today. For the first time we get the whole story from everyone involved (mostly) and you decide: Richard Stanley completely crazy or just misunderstood and the project was forced to go down in flames from all involved? This is the type of documentary that gives you not only the inside look of how Hollywood people can lose their mind but how it can affect all involved. Great deep inside stuff on this disc and actually makes me want to revisit the remake just for the hell of it as I give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

 

Impulse (YouTube) – All you need to know folks is William Shatner as a very sleazy con man taking rich woman for their money! Hands down one entertaining mid-70s flick that I give 2 ½ sleazy Shatners. If you are a 70s film buff and haven’t seen this one? You will not be disappointed and thank YouTube for it.

Cannibal Tick (DVD) – William Long’s latest independent project is feature length and deals with mutations. There is an experiment with ticks by a good doctor who has been modifying their genetics. Making the tick an unstoppable eating machine! The good doctor knows this is some bad stuff he is working with and knows it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens with lab protocols not being followed. Of course the assistant has stolen the samples and the new cannibal tick gets out destroying everything. Now containment is almost an abandoned idea. I enjoy Mr. Long’s vision of what he wants on film. He doesn’t have the budget or crew to pull it off but still has the passion to bring it to life and see what happens. It has a few sound and pacing issues but just like early Polonia Brothers S.O.V. films Mr. Long still makes an entertaining film for us independent movie buffs as I give it 2 ½ stars. Check out the Facebook page for more info: www.facebook.com/Cannibal-Tick-129223514362159 .

 

Happy Death Day (DVD) – I put this film off for a good long time because it was PG-13 and just thought it would be another commercialized throw away horror film? I WAS WRONG! I got interested after seeing the sequel trailer feeling it was time to sit down and give this a try. Blumhouse Productions apparently knows what they are doing. I now put them with A24 studios in that segment of my mind when I see the label their films are must-see. Anyway the film centers around a college girl named Tree who keeps living her birthday over and over as she is killed during the day at some point. Think “Groundhog Day” the horror movie version. After several times of this happening she decides to use the day to investigate who is actually trying to kill her and see if she can stop it from happening. If she does she gets to live to see tomorrow. Simple horror movie but with great casting, characters you actually care about, and a horror that has no business being this damn good. Sometimes we or just I can drudge through some bad, boring, and downright worthless horror films but a gem like this is why I love horror movies. I give this wonderful horror film not meant for me and my age 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019