Gross Movie Reviews #440

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Gross Movie Reviews #440

 

The Mole People (DVD) – After an earthquake shakes things up for archeologists as they find an opening in some ruins that leads to a secret underground city. The city had been shut off from humanity for thousands of years after a similar earthquake and believes the daylight kills them. If that wasn’t enough they enslaved Mole creatures to do their bidding of digging up mushrooms. A fun 50s ‘Creature Feature’ well worth checking out again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre (DVD) – Before you get on your soapbox to bitch about the title, the film was released in 2000 and that is about all I will do to defend this turd. Well maybe defend Debbie Rochon also but I am sure she may regret being a part of this project? A group of strippers decide it’s time for a vacation so they head to a beach house in the middle of a hurricane. And then just non-sense happens with Mr. Creepo. Before I forget Debbie Rochon plays part stripper/part psychic, it does make some kind of weird sense if you pay attention to the film? But bottom line ‘massacre film’ fans no one dies until an hour in and it’s pretty lame so for that I just give it a ½ star.

Paranoia Tapes (Vimeo/DVD) – A recent independent project where a man finds films, clips, random VHS tapes, of murders, interviews, confessions, etc. He uploads them to the internet in hopes of other people watching them and being just as scared as he is. The film comes off as some sort of ‘Found Footage’ film. But saying that I am not sure that is what the film can be classified as that? In an age of where kids now watch other people play video games on YouTube that is what this flick reminded me of. Right or wrong this movie is not meant for me as much as maybe the “Paranormal Activity” kids and for that I give it 1 out of 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/paranoiatapes/?ref=br_rs

 

Paranoia Tapes 2: Press Play (Vimeo/DVD) – So the sequel picks up with several filmmakers contributing again to the project. But what makes this venture a little different is that it looks a little more polished. But again movie clips, possible real footage, police footage, you be the judge is being uploaded to the internet by a guy named Chase. Chase is going somewhat insane because there is this Henry dude that keeps sending him these videos and clips. There is more violence, murder, but also it seems more of a coherent film that is like a blend of “Grave Encounters” and “V/H/S” on the low budget independent level. Again this type of project isn’t for me but easily can see the younger crowd really enjoying this film for what it really is. For that I give it 2 out 4 stars. For more info: https://www.facebook.com/PT2PRESSPLAY/

 

Siren (YouTube/DVD) – Another found footage flick from the same people who did “Paranoia Tapes” where a few years back some teenagers go missing in Kansas. They decide to do a film project for school over the holiday break that involves some kids supposedly living out in the woods. An urban myth of sorts, they want to debunk it if true interview them and get the story of why they are out there? They head to the woods to find the ‘Fender Children’. Goal is to get some footage, but a weird thing happens, and then when they are checking out the footage later and they are murdered. Most of it being filmed and the USB drive shows up at a police station a few months later. Feels like a blend of “The Blair Witch Project” and “Area 51” if you are a fan of ‘found footage’ flicks as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info:     https://www.facebook.com/Southernsykosproductions/

 

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection (DVD) – Another remake, reboot, re-whatever you wanna call this horseshit from the UK where they thought it was a good idea. There are zombies but also apparently the kids don’t care so they began to kill people also for fun. Another sad attempt to cash in on the title and the film company that released it should not be allowed to exist. ACTUALLY COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS AND STOP SUCKING! This is the kinda of crap that gives horror movies and legit filmmakers Indy or big budget a bad name. It is best you avoid and move on without ever watching this turd. Live this crap for me to witness and take the abuse as I give it 0 stars.

 

Bikini Party Massacre (DVD) – A little slasher film from 2002 with a little twist were you get to see lots of boobs! Six people head out to the woods for a weekend of fun and of course run out of gas. Of course the female version of ‘Crazy Ralph’ shows up to help out with the gas issue and the group to move on. After some partying, boobs, and weird dreams you learn there is a psycho among them. Weird thing is no of them exist except him… Weird and maybe a better film than it ever deserves to be but it was on my ‘massacre list’ so I was going to watch it as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Twilight People (DVD) – An early 70s Philippines flick that help start Pam Grier’s career that is like a cheaper “Island of Dr. Moreau”. The effects are not great but the passion for filmmaking is and this flick has a scientist kidnapping people to experiment on. Tis scientist is looking for the perfect human to test his theory of humans needing to evolve for what is coming in the future. Pam Grier as a ‘Panther Woman’, a weird dude as a winged mutant, there should have been six sequels to this flick especially with Corman’s company helping. I give it 3 stars.

 

Cyber Ninja (VHS) – A late 80’s Asian flick that pits Human Ninjas vs. Demon Robots or Mecha Ninjas. After the great wars a cyber-ninja is born from an experiment by the dark overlord who stole a great ninja’s soul to place in a Mecha Ninja and makes it an unstoppable warrior. Crazy special effects are the highlight of this ninja flick that also predates the “Power Rangers” and features ‘Voltron’ sound effects. The Mecha Ninja is torn on helping the humans but believes it is his only chance to regain his body again. The film is a fun crazy mess if you are a fan of stuff like “The Guyver”. ‘Cyber Ninja’ is a well worth find out there that I haven’t heard much about but after watching it I give it 3 stars.

 

Mad-Made Monster (DVD) – So right before “The Wolf Man” Lon Chaney Jr. did a flick where he is experimented on after an accident. He was on a bus with five other people that crashed and the other folks get electrocuted. He survives so a scientist comes to visit him asking if he wants to help with revelation. But his assistant has other plans to use Mr. Chaney as scapegoat to kill people after he turns him into an electrified zombie. Fun black and white horror crap that can be a lot of fun watching with friends. I give it 2 stars.

 

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (DVD) – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and his stepson follow a Jules Verne story to find an island where an old Michael Caine has discovered Atlantis. Problem of course the island is sinking back into the ocean and they must find Captain Nemo’s sub in order to survive the ordeal. Bad CGI, overacting by the Rock, and old Michael Caine makes it entertaining enough to get through the flick with my daughter so I can watch real crap. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Joel (Vimeo/DVD) – An independent flick that documents the murders of Joel Rifkin. A serial killer who in the Long Island area killed 17 people in a 3 ½ year period (1989-1993) and no one knew until he was pulled over with a dead body in the back of his truck.  According to Joel not only was he a disappointment to his father because of his learning disability but was picked on by other kids. Joel became a loner and was a virgin until he was about to go to college. But that all changed when Joel understood you could pay for sex. Joel constantly blew through his money on hookers. But as that was happening Joel also fantasized about strangling a woman during the sex act. After he did it for the first time he became addicted to it but no one ever noticed because they were hookers. Yeah they made the news but Joel kept going until that faithful night he was caught all because of a license plate. He always believed he could get them to get in a stranger’s car? Never knew about this dude but now I do and the filmmaker did an amazing job of bringing this serial killer to film. And it is kinda creepy how much the actor actually looks like the real killer named Joel Rifkin. Great stuff for horror fans and true crime nuts as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info: http://www.joelthemovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #438

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Gross Movie Reviews #438

 

Happy Hour Holocaust 2: The Second Round (DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers ‘Jim Roberts’ is back at it again with his crew. They recently finished up a sequel to their fun anthology film they released a couple years back. I have had this film sitting in my possession for almost two months. Jim wanted me to hold off because he had a little bit more editing left but I could not wait any longer as I am a huge fan of his work. And his crew that consists of his family and Jorge Delarosa are some of the coolest down to earth talented people you could ever meet. This new anthology of course expands the role of the bartender who does the wrap around story along with one of the best made movie openings I have ever witnessed. Great stuff guys! Wonderful music and effects blended together to set the mood of this independent feature. Our bartender has another three stories to tell: first was a reality show of drunken house flippers and what’s in the basement? Second is about mom and two brothers who have to take care of her. (Reviewed this short while back) Third is about a lonely dude out in the woods that seeks revenge for his dog. As usual Jim and family put together a tightly knit cast and film with some of the best special-effects you will see in an independent film on the east coast! A well-executed follow up film for the family as they never disappoint as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Jim: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004080845938

The Litch (DVD) – A hilarious film from independent filmmaker James Balsamo about a character named Vinnie who tells the story of accidentally awaken an undead demon wizard thing! James uses his talent to bring in some great cameo appearances to move the story along and keep it loose. Two of the cameos include Jeff Burr, Tom Sizemore and Elizabeth Daily. (Ms. Daily is a fave of mine just because of her work in the 80s.) Vinnie awakens the undead wizard thingy when he steals an expensive crystal from a crystal store. And according to Vinnie “that was the worst idea ever.” When he does it sets in motion events of “The Litch” possessing people in Vinnie’s life and their goal is to retrieve the crystal. If this happens “The Litch” is able to be THE RULER OF THE FOUR WORLDS! “The Litch” needs an army as he feeds on their souls. The film about a bumbling criminal and undead demon thingy is absolutely well-constructed, hilarious, and can see this having a few sequels in the future? And if anything else James did make sure you get to see lots of boobs. For that I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info on the film: http://www.acidbathproductions.com/

 

Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre (DVD) – First off if you are like me and have seen “The Porn Shoot Massacre” before you seen this film? Erase it from your mind right now damn it! This is a much better constructed and thought out horror film with shades of “Scream”. Quad-X porn company is about to have their biggest shoot ever. But a killer or killers are stalking and slashing their way through all the Quad-X’s famous pornstars. With lots of drama on the set between director, producers, and actors barely anyone notices people disappearing until local detectives get involved. But the movie must go on as they say in the industry! Instead of throwing lots of tits and ass at the screen for the viewer the filmmakers go in a different direction and give you a horror movie that doesn’t feel like a poor excuse to not call it porn? “The Porn Shoot Massacre” anyone? I really enjoyed the direction of this production, the selectively placed ads over the nudity, and of course the dildo drill to the head (it kind of resembles the Bob scene in “Gates of Hell” or “City of the Living Dead”). At first I was only going to give this flick 2 stars but as the days pass from first watching I have to give it 3 stars as I know I will be watching this film again. Thank you filmmakers understanding the difference between humor, horror, and porn…

Overdose: Death of a Punk Rocker (Blu-ray) – When looking at this movie the first thing that catches my eye is the tagline: “Punk’s not dead… But Brad is!” okay I am in. Brad Stanley is the lead singer of a band called ‘B-movie Nightmares’. His former band mate and best friend Brian is watching the news and sees this report of Brad dying of a heroin overdose. Brian at first in shock refuses to accept this fate. But thinks about it calmly and decides to go down the rabbit hole of finding out the real truth of Brad’s death because Brian refuses to believe there wasn’t something or somebody behind his death. This rabbit hole gives us hilarious stories of when ‘B-movie Nightmares’ were together, lots of dialogue on Brad wanting to join the “27 club” of famous people, music industry conspiracies, and why Brian quit the band. If you are a Kevin Smith fan you enjoy this entertaining dialogue driven film. By no means this is a horror movie but that doesn’t mean you cannot take a chance on watching a film from filmmaker D.J. Yarotsky and enjoying something pretty fucking interesting with great music. I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/overdosefilm/

Freak in the Basement (DVD) – Another gory flick from Alex Wesley and Russia has made its way to me again where this film was a few years in the making. We meet a man named Nicholai. Nicholai visits a therapist to help him with his serious problem. Needs help, he needs someone to listen; he needs to stop killing people! But Nicholai begins to tell the story to the therapist of the monster in his basement. He comes in contact with creature after he tries to evict a tenant. The tenant is high or delusional but she wipes some weird stuff on his lips and Nicholai feels a high like no other before. Quickly becoming addicted to it and the creature possibly having telekinetic powers with him, he understands that the creature eats human flesh it secretes this snotty liquid/sweat which gets you high. This high cause Nicholai to go on a killing spree and then the movie gets real weird when the alien cyborg arrives to retrieve the creature to be a slave on another planet? Yes people I cannot make this entertaining shit up and love it when I see it on screen. Just when you think you have seen it all, you haven’t thanks to Alex Wesley and his independent filmmaking crew! I give this fun adventure into gore 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/groups/837731036372859/about/ and https://www.facebook.com/ShansHorrorFilms/

 

Swingers Massacre (VHS/YouTube) – The 1974 thriller is also known as “Inside Amy” for 70s film buffs. This cautionary tale of being into the “swinging” is about a lawyer who has been married for several years to a beautiful woman named Amy who is just happy with everything. But after Charlie hears a story about the lifestyle from one of his divorcee clients he is hell bent on trying this out with Amy whether she is into or not. Out of just wanting to please Charlie and his limp old wiener Amy goes along with the idea of going to a hip swingers club where they meet a few couples. One thing leads to another at a party afterward and Amy just happens to be the life of the party as males and female partners want “Inside Amy”. (Ha, ha, I couldn’t help myself as I wanted to laugh while writing this) Anyway Amy has a wonderful time and Charlie not so much. When they are calling back for the couple to come back for more parties Charlie’s reaction is “No!” and go on a killing spree of those who have and still want to bang Amy. A wonderful 70s film that I was unaware of and glad I now own a copy as I will be revisiting this again soon as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hell Spa (DVD) – A horrible but hilarious fun bad film to watch with friends is about Benson’s Health Spa which is closing due to all the new spiffy workout clubs that have sprung up. The failed business is closing its doors until a mysterious man named Mr. Ex comes by and offers her a one-time deal she cannot refuse. A few days later Benson’s Health Spa is up and running and looks better than it ever did. They even run a commercial saying “Look Beautiful and Stay Fit or Never Pay a Dime”. But things are not always what they seem as a local college paper investigates the resurgence in Benson’s Health Spa and their promotion. Plus they want to know more about the bad-looking 80s TV villain Mr. Ex and what’s his involvement since the new health spa is in every aspect of your life once you join with the new lifetime membership. But don’t worry folks this film doesn’t disappoint being the next film you need to own in your “bad movie collection” when a floppy disk saves all! Remember people film was made in 1990 and released in 1992 as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Death Wish (On Demand) – Finally the Eli Roth remake has made its way out there for all of us to witness, tear apart, or just complain it doesn’t have Chuck Bronson. In the times we live in the film has a whole entire different feel to it than the original from the early 70s. I believe that actually helps this film work as Mr. Kersey is played by Bruce Willis and is a doctor from Chicago in this film. When Kersey is called into surgery on his birthday, his wife and daughter get attacked in their home. His wife dies and daughter critically injured, Kersey is distraught with the lack of findings from the police. So just like the original Kersey takes it upon himself to track down the men that wronged his family. The movie isn’t going to make anyone’s best films of the year list but is too easy of a target for society to point too for several reasons. Instead I look at like this: This remake doesn’t bother me at all as it has a complete different feel to it just because what is happening in real life these days and I really didn’t feel anything for any of the characters. I believe Eli Roth did what he could with what was there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 (DVD) – Thanks to “5 Second Films” and crowd funding this movie exists as it doesn’t just make fun of the slasher genre as much as points out the some funnier aspects of the lesser known slasher flicks. Plus they wanted to break the record for most kills on film. Brock belongs to a frat who has survived two massacres of a killer named “Motherface”. But he dies when seeing a therapist to talk about what happened. So his twin less appealing brother Brett sets off to pledge for the same frat and find out what really happened to his brother and find his killer. But the frat brothers are not sure to accept Brett or not as they go off to the cabin in the woods for the weekend where they killed the whole town with a flood. Once there the Motherface is back and slicing and dicing her way through the frat brothers in hopes of killing them off completely. And it is possible that Ronald Reagan is behind everything? Hilarious, check your brain at the door horror film that yeah most likely goes a few minutes longer than it should have. But still worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Garden Party Massacre

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“Some People are the Death of the Party!”

garden-party-massacre-movie-poster-gregory-blair_0

 

Los Angeles, California – Horror meets comedy in award winning Gregory Blair’s new film Garden Party Massacre, finishing post production via Pix/See Productions and just today releasing the first official teaser trailer.

 

In a 180-degree tone shift from Blair’s previous film (the moody, brooding psych-thriller Deadly Revisions), Garden Party Massacre is a fast-paced romp where both catsup and blood flow freely. Based on his FANtastic Horror Film Festival winning script, writer/director Gregory Blair helms the film which tells the tale of a friendly backyard gathering that goes awry when an unexpected guest shows up. With a pickax. And an attitude! Things go south from there as the guests try to survive.

 

Blair compares the film to other comedy horror features like Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) and says: “I love films that successfully walk that line between horror and comedy, whether it’s witty and referential like Scream or giddy low camp like Army of Darkness.” Blair also steps in front of the camera along with Nichole Bagby (On the Rocks), Andy Gates (Grimm), Lise Hart (Deadly Revisions), Dawna Lee Heising (Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance), and more.

 

The film is due out later this year, but fans can get a taste of the fun right now in the teaser.

 

First trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlEfp6xMuw0&feature=youtu.be

 

A downloadable version: https://1drv.ms/v/s!AicYX6Z-QReGhcAr9evhz4s9tdOxIg

 

Photos: https://1drv.ms/f/s!AicYX6Z-QReGhb8IaWA6_JvoCjkMcw

 

Director/writer: Gregory Blair.

 

Cast: Andy Gates, Lise Hart, Dawna Lee Heising, Nichole Bagby, Gregory Blair, David Leeper and Matt Weinglass.

 

 

The film’s official website: http://www.gardenpartymassacrefilm.com/

 

 

 

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GardenPartyMassacre/

 

 

 

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/GardnPrtyMasacr

Halloween may be over but you may still need a new movie guide?

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Wrath of Gross color

Available at:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

 or check it out locally at:

http://rickertandbeaglebooks.com/

https://www.facebook.com/RickertandBeagleBooks/?fref=ts

 

Gross Movie Reviews has just sold another copy in the UK… Have you gotten your new movie guide?

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http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Wrath of Gross color

Also you can purchase a copy locally in the burgh at Rickert and Beagle Books: They are located at 3233 West Liberty Ave in Dormont (15216) Call us at (412) 344-7444(412) 344-7444

http://rickertandbeaglebooks.com/

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https://www.facebook.com/RickertandBeagleBooks?fref=ts

Less than 15 tables remain for Horror Realm’s Spring Break Massacre

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Less than 15 tables remain for Horror Realm’s Spring Break Massacre show on March 6-8 at the new location of Crowne Plaza Pittsburgh West – Green Tree.  Our new location will allow us to house all guests and vendors in one room.

 

If you would like to reserve a spot, please contact us for a reservation form.   If you have already reserved, we thank you for your support and ask that you help spread the word about our show to as many people as you can!  Our flyer is embedded below but if you’d like an electronic copy to share, please contact us.

 

Discounted room rate is $105 plus 14% tax per night. To reserve your room by calling the hotel direct at 412-922-8100 or toll free at 1-800-439-4745 and mentioning Horror Realm. You can also reserve online at http://www.ihg.com/crowneplaza/hotels/us/en/pittsburgh/pitgr/hoteldetail with code HOR.

 

Hope to see you at the show!

HR spring 2015

Gross Movie Reviews #310

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Gross Movie Reviews #310

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Bleeding (DVD) – It’s a vampire film that is supposed to be a spring board for a MMA fighter in the lead role. Problem is the writer, director, and producer take it upon themselves to combine your most popular vampire films from the past ten or twelve years and cram it into a 90 minute elephant crap called a horror film. With a supporting cast of DMX, Vinnie Jones, and Michael Madsen you should expect more but as usual it’s all about the names and not the film plot and what horror movie fans enjoy. The film revolves around a man who is told he is a vampire slayer and must take out the vampire king who just happens to be his brother. The film has a few fun moments but overall makes feel bad for the MMA dude who got stuck with a poopy project. I give the film 1 ½ stars.

 

The World’s End (Blu-ray) – Edgar Wright in to direct, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to star… Yep, the band is back together for their third outing and it doesn’t disappoint. Character Gary King (Simon Pegg) wants to relive some moments from being a graduating teenager in his old small town. More than anything to go and have one beer in all 12 pubs with his friends, something that got sidetracked years ago. Once King has convinced all his old buddies that this is a good idea they roll into the small town to begin the drinking marathon. Slowly, the friends notice everything is kinda weird and they are convinced once Gary gets into a fight with a younger guy in a bathroom and rips his head off. Things are not what they used to be. The friends in their drunken state must figure out what the hell is going on and how they can get the hell out of town! The film is hilarious and non-stop comedy gold. The Blu-ray has possibly the most extras I have ever seen on one disc as I give the film 4 stars.

 

Attack the Block (DVD) – A fun flick from the UK about teenage gang members taking on aliens when a rock falls from space and a creature awakens and attacks them. Once the alien is killed, the gang celebrates not knowing they are in a world of hurt as the alien is a female and it has all male friends that look like blind werewolves with glowing mouths. A great off-the-wall UK alien flick that I feel was poorly advertised here in the US and has Nick Frost in a small role to boot as a dude who just sells, smokes, and protects weed for his boss in the penthouse. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Zombie Hunter (Blu-ray) – The film is part “Mad Max”, part zombie flick with a man who since the fall of mankind has been out in the desert obliterating every zombie around alone. The man comes upon a family of sorts led by a priest (Danny Trejo) after his vehicle is destroyed by a dumbass hillbilly that believes zombies can drive. The priest and the followers believe he can save them from an onslaught and maybe get them to an uninfected island? Problem is the man has too much hate that keeps him alive no matter what. The zombie flick is a cool premise that relies too much on the exploitation aspect but I believe possible lack of money help stare this project in that direction and I would have enjoyed seeing more of Danny Trejo. I give the flick 2 stars.

State

State of Emergency (DVD) – A low budget flick from a duo called “The Clay Brothers” that keeps it creepy and dramatic in this film that I can best compare it to Romero’s “The Crazies”. A man carrying his wife through the woods sets her down for her to die looking at him, then drags her to a nearby farmhouse to watch TV and listen to the radio to figure out what exactly is going on as there was chaos before the accident. Time passes but once he has gained his senses something gets in the farmhouse with it forcing him to kill it. The film never calls them ghouls, zombies, infected, etc., which I believe helps give the film a great creepy atmosphere. The cleverly written film makes you pay attention to what is being said on TV and radio and sucks you in and puts you the viewer in his shoes. The drama of the explosions and the strange things standing outside not moving but waiting motionless for humans make this a must see horror film for all! After this I will keep an eye out for any project that involves “The Clay Brothers”. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Invisible (DVD) – A teenager (Nick) who is close to graduating and seems to have his life mapped out by his mom is beaten up after a party one night and left for dead in a sewer drain. Next morning Nick returns to school only to learn no one can see him and he believes he is dead so he tries to haunt the girl that beaten him to possible death? Meanwhile the police investigate and the plot thickens when Nick learns his best friend was involved and the girl’s boyfriend doesn’t want the police sniffing around as he is out on parole and wants to prove to his girlfriend that she needs to listen. The girl haunted by her actions wants to do one good thing in her life and Nick tries to steer her into finding his lifeless body or is it? A pretty good, off the beaten path supernatural flick, that should have ghost enthusiasts scrambling to watch it. I give the flick 3 stars.

Mini-Golf

Mini-Golf Massacre (YouTube) – I continue my dream of watching every film I can get my hands on that has ‘massacre’ in the title. Especially when the film has that kinda “shot on VHS 80s” feel. When Leroy gets fired from the local putt-putt place, he steals the mascot mask and goes on a killing spree. I couldn’t stop laughing at the 31 minute movie as you can see the chainsaw clearly doesn’t have a chain on it. But fuck that shit, grab some friends, some beer, and some pizza and enjoy this horrible fun flick as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Manborg (DVD) – A complete over-the-top nutzoid, stop motion, CGI, anime influenced, mind blowing fantasy film from Steve Kostanski that pits humans vs. Hell’s Armies in the future after Count Draculon wasn’t stopped during a war long ago. In the future, Draculon’s armies have taken over and most of mankind is gone or underground. During the war long ago a man fighting Count Draculon was believed killed but became an experiment called, “Manborg” awakens in this hellish future. Manborg may be the one hope for mankind as he is taken into custody after killing a guard who was chasing an escape prisoner aka an extra from Mortal Kombat. Once in Hell’s prison he must fight in the arena. With help from other prisoners they soon begin killing all of Hell’s Armies. Soon Manborg learns to harness his powers after escaping and Manborg and friends begin an all-out assault on Count Draculon! The film is literally like a comic book geek’s brain exploded on screen. I enjoyed this completely unique and crazy film but feel there will be some fans that just won’t understand what exactly the film is and dislike it. I give this Mr. Kostanski’s amazing effort 3 ½ stars.

 

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (DVD) – Film version of the cult show in 1996 that spawned or influenced many recent internet horror hosts and podcasts that has a man Michael J. Nelson trapped in space and his two robots stuck in space made to watch horrible old sci-fi films. For this film version of the show they are made to watch “This Island Earth”. MST3K is the type of programming that has a rabid fan base that keeps its spirit alive now for years even though the show has been canceled. It’s a program clearly marketed for film geeks or stupid people who drink beer like myself. I give the film version of the original TV program 4 stars and may the influence of Michael J. Nelson and the robots live on.

 

Oblivion (DVD) – Its 2077, and earth has been ravaged by after effects of dropping nukes during a war with aliens in 2017 and the moon was half destroyed causing weather related catastrophes. Tom Cruise plays Jack, part of a two person team who is trying to protect these water things in the sky, keep maintenance up on drones that supposedly protect the planet from scavengers. The Scavengers are what came and started war with earth. While out on patrol Jack propels himself deep into a library to check for a down drone only to be attacked, but before that finds a book and reads a passage. Jack tries to bring it up to his partner but she wants none of it which is why he never tells her of the dreams that haunt him nightly. Soon Jack questions whether he wants to leave earth since he is supposed to report back to a colony that is on one of Saturn’s moons. Jack begins to question his dreams and exactly what he is doing. Oblivion is a futuristic film that starts off innocently enough as your big budget garbage but uses misdirection in its alien storyline to make the film very interesting. Plus, Tom Cruise gives a performance that reminded me he wasn’t always a dick in the industry and can still be someone worth watching in film. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Curse of Chucky (DVD) – Brad Dourif not only comes back for this sequel but his daughter stars in it, I’m in! Number six in the series plays like a regular bloody series sequel with Chucky on a killing spree but even with a little meaner streak if possible. Surprised there hasn’t been a remake yet? I sat back to watch as they stick with the slasher formula that worked in the past to give Chucky new life again as he arrives in a mail package with no return address. Soon a mother is dead and a daughter in a wheelchair is left picking up the pieces and wondering what the hell happened? Family comes to help and the fun begins. Chucky’s killing spree is something we have seen before but the whole time it felt different and different it was once you learn why Chucky arrived anonymous to this house and that’s where the real fun begins. If anything good comes out of the latest Chucky film it proves not everything has to be remade in order to be entertaining… I give it 2 ½ stars and just like to say thank you to Universal for giving the series another chance before that eventual reboot?

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Have you purchased your copies of “Jagoff Massacre” to give out to the family? If not, you understand the old you would have already!

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Buy it at http://www.jagoffmassacre.com

jagoff

On a cold winter night in the Greenfield neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA, two local drunks by the name of Chosky and Stutch run afoul of a group of inept satanists. As a chase ensues through Pittsburgh, blood will be shed! It’s time to Red up Pittsburgh!
Jagoff Massacre
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-poWn4E2E

Gross Movie Reviews #304

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Gross Movie Reviews #304

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Hard Corps (DVD) – Jean-Claude Van Damne plays a war vet back in the states and living at the VA hospital trying to get past his traumatic stress. A friend comes to visit with an offer he cannot refuse and it’s to help protect a local man who has capitalized on his boxing career into a business man who is building up his old community. Problem is the man has made an enemy of the local Hip Hop producer who he thought would be in jail for many years to come is out back on the streets and wants revenge. JCVD plays the ultimate bodyguard in this fun violent action flick that went mostly unnoticed a few years back. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Big Ass Spider! (DVD/Theater) – This crazy monster flick is from the same guy that gave us the demon nouns in ‘The Convent’ which I believe is one of the best Halloween horror films and one of the better horror films the newer generation of horror filmmakers out there. Exterminator stubbles upon a major spider problem after going to the hospital after a spider bite. He makes a deal with the director to check out and resolve the spider issue if they clear his bill for services. The exterminator inspects what’s going on and soon understands that everyone is in trouble when a monstrous spider is quickly eating people and getting bigger every four hours inside the hospital until it breaks out. It is soon revealed the spider is a military experiment mistake. Now, with the spider increasing quickly, the military wants to drop bombs on L.A. before it is too late. A lot of famous cameos and a great performance by Ray Wise as an army major calling the shots make this monster film a fun one. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Babysitter Massacre (DVD/Theater) – The never resting filmmaker Henrique Couto is back with his latest project that will make a lot of 80s and early 90s horror fans happy as this throwback slasher of sorts has lots of violence, chubby boobs, and a fun plot that makes fun but respects the genre. Couto blends fun characters into a plot of a babysitter club of teenage girls that several years ago always took care of each other until an unfortunate and tragic event happens to one of them on Halloween night. The club disbanded after that but one girl wants to have a party with all the old members of the club even if they hate or blame one of their own. But the strange faceless figure is back and some of the girls are not going to make the party as they are being killed one by one. Mr. Couto not only gives what the horror crowd of 80s wants but also keeps the plot interesting enough for today’s sometimes cynical horror movie fans. With that I give Mr. Couto’s film 3 out of 4 stars as he always strives to be one step ahead of the independent filmmaking world…

 

Satan’s Little Helper (DVD) – Jeff Lieberman directs this all too close to home horror film about a kid who wants to go trick or treating as a video game character named Satan’s Little Helper. The kid is excited about his older sister coming home from college to keep the tradition of trick or treating together alive. But when the big sister brings home her boyfriend the kid has a spaz attack and runs away to find a person dressed as Satan and the kid begins to hang with him or be his helper thinking it’s just like the video game. The kid believes it’s all in good Halloween fun with Satan killing people, stealing stuff, etc., until Satan kills his father when the kid gets upset. Intentional or not the film takes a look into children’s minds when they cannot decide between real life and video games in this creepy horror flick. The film came out 2004 and I believe its subject matter feels like it has been ripped out of the headlines now nine years later. What makes the film work is the Satan costume and how the character in the costume is portrayed in the film. It is brilliant. I only had a minor issue of the Satan character finding a way to make all think it is the boyfriend’s father who was in the costume but it’s only minor. ‘Satan’s Little Helper’ is a different and cool Halloween movie for fans to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Skinless

The Ballad of Skinless Pete (DVD) – Dustin Wayde Mills takes Re-Animator, The Resurrected, Croenberg’s The Fly, and Lovecraft elements and combines them into this amazing, wonderful, and beautiful film about a doctor that may have found a cure for cancer. Pete is Dr. Peel and is driven by an incredible sex drive and the need to find funding in what he believes could cure cancer with the help of his partner/roommate/friend Dr. Cross. Dr. Peel believes that enzymes taken from a certain worm and genetically altering them could be the cure, but they have run out of funding and guinea pigs. After an argument with Dr. Cross, Pete uses himself as the human test subject after finding out he has cancer. At first it works and he is cancer free but soon his body turns on him and eats his skin away. Weeks pass and Dr. Cross and their main investor go to check in on Dr. Peel only to find him half-crazed and possibly mutating into something this world has never imagined? But that isn’t the only thing happening as Dr. Peel craves flesh! The film is absolutely disgusting in a very beautiful way. The special effects are just amazing on an independent budget and actually are a character of the film. Dustin Wayde Mills may have made his best film yet… I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars and more can be found out about it at: www.facebook.com/dustin.w.mills or www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions . When watching the film I got two words for you, “Vagina Mace!”

 

The Pit and The Pendulum (DVD) – Stuart Gordon and Charles Band team up to produce this project originally called ‘The Inquisitor’ that was released in 1991 and still to this day is an underrated flick that has a great cast that includes the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen as Torquemada. Torquemada is the Grand Inquisitor of Spain and is trying to purify the village of witchcraft. During a public death and whipping of a young boy a simple baker’s wife screams for the whipping to stop and throws herself in the way. About to be beaten by guards, Torquemada runs to her rescue only to be stunned by an image he takes as witchcraft and has her arrested so she can be tortured and give confession. Maria’s husband tries to explain her actions to Torquemada but to no avail they throw him out and threaten to throw him in prison. Undeterred the husband makes a bargain to get into the castle and save his wife while Torquemada takes upon himself to test her for witchcraft but believes he has been placed under her spell to love her and has himself flogged until the images or visions go away. Driven to the point of a psychotic break the Pope has sent someone to the castle to explain to Torquemada the torturing must stop and the witch hunt must be done. A great time period horror flicks that all it was missing is the Hammer Films name at the beginning and Vincent Price character. One of the best early Full Moon films to be produced as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Tingler (DVD) – A great example of horror films from back in the 50s from William Castle that actually made a film about a thing that comes from the spine of all humans that can only be stopped by people screaming in fear. The film is quite dated and loses its luster for most film fans that were not there when the film was originally produced and the experience of their seats being rigged with electric shock to make them jump out of their seat during the screening. Vincent Price plays a good doctor trying to stop the Tingler. ‘The Tingler’ is another film that remind movie fans why Vincent Price was the perfect genre actor. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Bath Salt Zombies (DVD) – Another independent film from Dustin Wayde Mills who plays a chemist/drug dealer named Bubbles who has come up with a new batch of “super bath salts” drug for the public. The guinea pig is a junkie named Richie. Richie after being supplied a free sample of the new drug goes back to a friend’s house to smoke it. Once he does he becomes a raging cannibal and eats his friend’s face. Meanwhile a DEA agent is determined to stop the new “super bath salts” by any means necessary. Even it means fighting the same gang member 25 times during a raid. But is the DEA agent too late as Richie is hooked and a couple of his friends go on a feeding frenzy at a concert! The film is exactly what you think but stays away from the zombie moniker and is more of a raging cannibal thing. I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions .

super-task-force-one-official-trailer1381831591

Super Task Force One (DVD) – This film is a film made out of love for the ‘Power Rangers’ show by an intelligent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski. The film being written and directed by Steve had my attention even if it wasn’t a horror movie. ‘Super Task Force Six’ apparently was a group of colorful superheroes who fought aliens, monsters, demons and evil of all sorts until the evil disappeared 15 years ago and the government disbanded the group. Jason a struggling writer just happens to stumble upon a beaten man at a park who gives Jason the power of the Green Enforcer. And Jason now is taken over by the power only to fight a hideous monster at the park trying to destroy him. Soon Jason learns with the help of Super Task Force super fan and best friend Paul that the Evil Emperor is alive and well and has kept the public in a trance. A trance from an audio file found by Jason’s cute girlfriend and destroyed for the world to know there is evil still here. I am no Power Rangers fan at all but found the independent kids friendly film to be very entertaining and it helped jar my memory of the good old days of Saturday morning TV. Steve should be proud of this project for the reason he took a chance by going through with this project and has done an exceptional job with it. I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and if you are looking for something of a different pace than you’re run of the mill mindless mainstream film go buy this entertaining flick at www.supertaskforce.com and check out www.facebook.com/supertaskforce for updates.


Blood Orgy

Blood Orgy at Beaver Lake (DVD) – Mike Hartman and the Silver Bullet Pictures gang is at it again in their latest gross out adventure about a doctor… Dr. Bung to be exact that has combined ecstasy, Viagra, and cocaine to make the ultimate drug called “69”. Soon Dr. Bung is being by two woman hitmen because he hasn’t tested it on humans yet and his boss wants out there for the masses now! While the women hitman try to get rid of the body and the drug they lose it only to have two rednecks find it. The rednecks spread it around like moonshine and no one is safe at Beaver Lake as they begin to slaughter and fuck everything and everyone they can get their hands on. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.silverbulletpictures.com .

 

Germ Z (DVD) – A military satellite is knocked out of orbit screaming towards earth after a meteor hits it. The satellite lands in the mountains of a very small town where the military explains stay away until they get there to survey the crash. Even with the firefighters staying away and containing the forest fire they soon become sick and begin changing. Once changed, the victims become raging cannibals until their brains eventually explode for no reason. The small town is under attack and it’s all up to the young sheriff to stop the raging cannibals in this low budget bloodbath that just happened to be released by Fangoria Magazine. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Out of One’s Misery (DVD/internet) – Filmmaker Michael Sharpe puts together a creepy and cool short film about a man named David. He may be haunted, he may not, he may be insane, and he may have already gone insane and is coming back to reality? Whatever it is Mr. Sharpe gives you a short film thriller that will have you at the edge of your seat as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Found out more about this project and more at www.facebook.com/sharpeedgefilms .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself  called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.