Gross Movie Reviews #567

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Gross Movie Reviews #567

Terror of Disgusting Worms from Outer Space (YouTube) – An oddity S.O.V. film made in Germany … I believe? Anyway this mid-80s unknown no budget film introduce us to Mary and Larry who after a night of partying all night are ready to head home until they see something in the sky. Bored, the couple follows to where they believed it fell to Earth hoping to find a U.F.O. and find themselves at a burned out industrial area (which makes a great location for the film). Within minutes of arriving and investigating Larry is attacked by a ghoul and it’s not long before Mary is meeting the worm aliens! Lots of incoherent running around, bad effects, glad I was able to watch this as I give this oddity 1 ½ stars for the laughs.

Disgusting Space Worms Eat Everyone! (YouTube) – In 1989 apparently we got another or possible sequel (?) to the 1984 German film but I couldn’t confirm this? Anyhow this story has alien worms infecting a man’s drugs in Beverly Hills along with the alien worms constantly feasting on random people in their homes. Meanwhile there is literally some kind of nonsense plot of a private eye (Ray) who keeps crossing paths with a 80s fouled mouth young lady. Along with that incoherent nonsense we get a lot of scenes of characters running around as the aliens are there to exterminate the humans. The highlight of this whole mess is in order to defeat the worm aliens you must throw cocaine at them as the drug melts the alien ghouls. This is a weird mess of a film indeed folks but again glad I was able to watch it as it entertained me and made me laugh so for that I give it 2 stars. Also I forgot to mention there is a random giant Raid Spray Can!

Meathook Massacre IV (YouTube) – Robert Lankford returns as the Bubba character again and this entry tries to show a budget as they feature Indy film stars Drew Marvick and Brinke Stevens. Bubba is again on the move as a bunch of meathook murders of gotten the attention of authorities and local news. While on the road Bubba and mum have a small accident with a group of young people heading to Vegas for a birthday celebration. The celebration is quickly derailed when Bubba blames this group for the death of his Ma and gets some help from his extended family. Once the extended family is introduce the film becomes more about setting up the next film than telling a story of Bubba as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Checkered Flag or Crash (DVD) – Think ‘Cannonball Run’ but not as funny set in Manila? It is a 3-day, 1000 mile race for $50,000 to the winner and the rest of the 50 or 60 drivers split the other $50,000 and promoted by the stylish Larry Hagman. The race or movie centers on the feud of former friends Joe Don Baker and Alan Vint who use to be partners but now competitors and a reporter played by Susan Sarandon is covering it all. The film is full of stunts and car racing which is pretty much gold 70s film lovers. I liked it but didn’t love it because for me ‘Cannonball Run’ just never gets old but that is just me as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

The Cursed (DVD) – Most of the story takes place in the late 1800s where white people never learn and fuck with gypsys who had a claim before them on some farmland. Of course a lynch mob comes by and ruins all their lives but the dumb ass white people wanna know why weird evil shit starts happening to them and their kids? After all begin to have the same nightmare and a boy goes missing a pathologist John McBride comes in to investigate the missing child and quickly figures out he might be dealing with a sinister supernatural element here as no one wants to talk about what they did in order to illegally keep the land they claim. Feels like a werewolf flick but is something more, has some fun gore scenes, goes to great lengths to have that old school cursed European monster feel, but also again points out why dumb white people will never listen as I give this horror film 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre V: The Final Chapter (YouTube) – Before I even start this review you be warned there is two more sequels that come after this, more on that later… A survivor from 15 years ago Danielle Stokley has managed to move on with her name after the attack of Bubba while living under a different name. Meanwhile Bubba is still running around with a meathook in the middle of nowhere doing his thing. Danielle is tracked down by a mysterious man who also claims to be a survivor and drops some knowledge on Danielle talking about they were some government experiment with cross breeding that mutated! What I got out of that conversation was “INCEST”. The family full of killers travels from state to state to satisfy their carnal killing needs and to stay ahead of the authorities but that is about to change? So the movie really doesn’t end it basically sets up “To Be Continued…” without saying it on screen which begs the question: “How in the love of Rutger Hauer is this the Final Chapter?” Not saying but just saying… I honestly believe this is a logical question when a filmmaker is making a film that literally claims “The Final Chapter”. I am not trying to take a giant steamy morning grumpy on this film because I like where the film was going five installments in, but when you pull this dumb shit then you are just being a dick for no good reason. And do not give me the ‘Friday the 13th Part 4’ argument as I give this film zero stars for being misleading and not in a good way.

Sharks of the Corn (DVD) – Some strange shit is happening in the cornfields of Kentucky and part of it is sharks haunt a cornfield. Yes, you heard me right folks sharks haunt a cornfield and a serial killer who is obsessed with sharks believes the sharks are gods and makes sacrifices for the gods. Oh yeah there is a Bigfoot and a Bigfoot hunter running around during this whole mess as the killer believes he is fulfilling some kind of Blood Moon prophecy. With this going all on not totally sure there is a real reason the sharks are there in the cornfield other than it can spell the end of the world for all? There is a lot of filler of three ongoing movie plots here and feel if Tim Ritter would have just stuck with a parody of ‘Children of the Corn’ I think it would have been more entertaining and that is coming from a fan of Mr. Ritter’s. I will say this if there was one take away from this mess and what may have saved the film for me was the last minutes of the film made me laugh several times as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Maggots (DVD) – If I wasn’t hell bent enough on destroying my brain with Yuengling there is bad movies and this was downright unbearable at times. This 2017 film claiming it was made for $100,000 is set in Harlan County, a wooded country area where something comes crashing to Earth and unleashes mutant maggots that want humans to feast on. Fred Olen Ray I know you wrote the story for this but dude… please have some say in these projects? Of course Harlan County just happens to become a hotspot for tourists when giant bad green screened maggots are attacking! I would love to say this entertaining but even me, I felt like something was taken from me when watching this so-called film as I give it 0 stars. Sorry your jokes in the film fell horribly flat!

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood! (DVD) – Not expecting much from this C. Thomas Howell project, hell was awaiting for it to be downright insulting but instead I was surprised how much fun it unfolds in being. Once you get past the opening shootout between rival gangs and two cops the film steals its idea from ‘Night of the Comet’ and does a pretty good job its low budget it has? A strange solar flare wave hits Earth and those exposed to the radiation turn into zombies or vampires or something else according to the entertaining characters we have trapped inside the lead-walled medical facility. Understanding they must survive and put racial issues aside the gangs and white cop (C. Thomas Howell) must learn to adapt quickly as all cars do not work and the zombies are evolving. The characters were entertaining as hell for what looks like a low grade cheeseball flick at first glance and will surprise you how entertaining this film actually is? This horror film has its flaws but believe me horror fans this film does deserve your attention if you do not take the title too seriously. If you liked ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ you will like this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Exorcist Vengeance (On Demand) – They are trying to use Robert Bronzi aka Bootleg Bronson in every genre humanly possible and I love it. So grab the beer and donuts as Bootleg Bronson this time around stars as Father Jozsef (had to look up the correct spelling) who is called in to investigate unholy symbols. The Bishop is sent pictures of some unholy symbols on the floor of a donor of the church and believes there is exorcism that needs to be done so send in the big gun to investigate? Father Jozsef shows up to the home to investigate and do a typical exorcism but runs into obstacles because in order to finish what he started, he must unravel the mystery of the family itself which has set them on the path of the devil. Once the secret is out it is just this evil force vs. the good father himself who of course carries a gun because he is Bootleg Bronson and for that I give 2 ½ stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #566

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Gross Movie Reviews #566

Deadheading (DVD) – This recent release out of the U.K. should have been called “Dead on Arrival” as this was one of the worst films I have sat through in 2022. But anyhow kids Anna, a tired flight attendant that has the all high and mighty attitude hooks up with a hot dude in her hotel mess in London. You know how it goes: she’s married, better than everyone, how could anyone even think of another then after a couple of drinks and conversation they are bumping like bunnies! Problem, Anna wakes up in a pool of his blood and instead of calling police she decides how can I get rid of this body and go back to work? Most of the film is all about Anna trying to figure out how she is getting away with the murder… Ugh this was a borefest as I give it zip stars!

Killer Tattooist (Blu-ray) – This recent U.K. film is also known in some parts ‘Skinned’ and was a pleasant surprise about a serial killer. Nathan is a very professional tattoo artist who enjoys his work and loves to kill. Meanwhile a strung out cop named Eva is brought in by superiors to look into these nine women who have been murdered the past three months. What connects all of them is the females were recently tattooed or had appointments to be tattooed and Eva for being an utter mess of an officer does wonderful undercover work. Eva and Nathan meet up at a tattoo festival and the relationship quickly evolves from there. Eva unaware of Nathan’s extra circular activity soon becomes suspicious as she gets pressure from her superiors to bring him in for questioning. Surprisingly this film gives off a “Hannibal TV series” vibe that will suck you into what is Nathan going to do next? I would have loved to say this movie was perfect but the lazy ending in my opinion was what hurt it, but don’t let that turn you off from this solid horror film that I give 3 stars.

Zombie Shark (DVD) – Honestly, I thought I seen all the SyFy Channel shark films but apparently I am wrong and blame this on talented Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering as she always keeps me in the loop. But all seriousness folks this was bad! Four people head to Red Plum Island for a weekend of fun until they come across a supposedly dead shark on the beach. But it is undead and eats the hot dude that got them to the beach. Meanwhile, Sgt. Cage aka Jeremy London is trying to track down the undead experiment shark that has caused this big mess and he is carrying a rocket launcher. Usually I absolutely love watching these films but this seem to be bad all around. The only redeemable thing that came out of the film is the quote: “people on the island are going to be a zombie shark buffet”, outside of that no wonder this slipped under my radar as it gets zero stars.

Visions of Fear (DVD) – A collection of seven short films hosted by Tiffany Shepis in 2007 or 2008. 1st film – My Skin – An old creepy dude takes care of a husband’s business for him. 2nd film – Slumber – A reporter named Jason, starts working on a gruesome story that makes him to have horrible visions that are physically changing him. 3rd film – What Ever Happened to the Zombie Killers – Zombies are just trying to enjoy their drinking and dancing at their favorite nightclub until some Goth girls known as the “Zombie Killers” show up to be bathed in gore. 4th film – Callous Sentiment – A local park that sucks in the vulnerable with acts of violence. 5th film – Trick or Treat! – A young woman makes the mistake of allowing a trick or treater into her home who just wants candy but she doesn’t have any? 6th film – Hooligan’s Valley – An offbeat short where a clown and his Mexican wrestler partner go to rescue his girlfriend at a seedy nightclub. 7th and final shirt film – Scream for Me – This is an uncomfortable adventure into a man looking for a woman to scream for his pleasure but she refuses. But he has the tables turned on him but not in the manner you think happen? A fun collection of short films that many horror fans would enjoy but the sixth short film just doesn’t fit the vibe or the buildup (intentional or not) to the last short film introduced by the very talented Tiffany Shepis as I give the collection 3 stars.

Escape from Deathblock 13 (DVD) – If it isn’t ‘massacre’ films, post-apocalyptic flicks, or Amityville movies you know I love me some Bootleg Chuck Bronson films! Robert Bronzi aka fake Charles Bronson plays Mick Kovacs who shows up at a recycling warehouse demanding his brother’s death benefit payment. After a scuffle Bootleg Chuck Bronson gets arrested and is given an opportunity to work the inside for the police but chooses not to for now because he believes he is innocent. Now sitting in prison to rot bootleg Bronson aka Mick is forced to make friends and act in some bad prison scenes. But Mick accidentally comes across some evidence to connect the warden, the prison, and the recycling warehouse all in a drug smuggling ring and he wants out. So some inmates gather to help Mick out by starting a riot so he can escape through the legendary tunnels under the old ass prison so he can go get his revenge and then be offered a job by the U.S. government! Yes it is an action movie mess but I cannot get enough of Bootleg Bronson as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Game of Death (DVD) – Here is a horror movie I thought I would see more people talk about? A group of young people hanging by the pool one day doing the usual: drugs, drinking, getting sexed up, AND NO ONE ON A CELL PHONE (no kidding on that last part, maybe that is why this horror film got buried? Reality check people). While let’s just say a young lady is enjoying her boyfriend as he has a good meal she sees a board game called “Game of Death”. To play the rules are simple: Kill or be killed… so of course they play. Now they either need to kill each other, 24 other people, or watch their heads explode because they refuse to participate and they could win… maybe? Weird, gory, keeps it simple, just surprised not hearing horror fans enjoying this as I believe it is worth at least one watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien from the Deep (DVD) – An Eye-talian/Philippines flick from 1989 starring Charles Napier as a hard ass military dude who has taken over a radioactivity dumping operation on an unknown island. Two Greenpeace people show up to look into the illegal dumping by the power plant only to their horror to find they are just throwing the radioactivity into a volcano. The Greenpeace people sneak into the facility and videotape all the dirty secrets but then it gets a little wacky for all involved when an alien drops by because its attracted to all the toxic waste. The alien is able to burn humans with its touch and seems to indestructible unless you got some random hydrogen flame thrower to burn the large lobster clawed thing! It’s terrible, it’s cheesy, and I know I will watch it again at some point in my life as I give it 2 stars.

Fangboner (Blu-ray) – Written and directed by Nathan (Amityville Vibrator) Rumler for a Rock Bottom Video Production so you are well warned what you are about to get into and if anything you will laugh a lot. After a night of blackout drinking and unprotected sex something is wrong with Dick? Dick has never felt like shit this much before but that doesn’t stop him from visiting his next hook up with the girl he cannot remember her name (Suzy by the way but not that important). The problem reveals itself before and after Dick hooks up with Suzy as Dick’s prior hook up is an alien that bit his dick! Dick convinces Suzy that it must be a form of vampirism that will make them thirst for blood, sex, and uncomfortable conversations in the woods. While they try plan their feedings, weird sex blood sucking rituals, the alien must retrieve the couple and end their lives before they infect the whole human race. The movie is hilariously uncomfortable and I enjoyed it all. ‘Fangboner’ has its flaws, but for no budget and just a cool crew of people having fun makes this one of those flicks you need a room full of friends, beer, and some pizza as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!