Gross Movie Reviews #690

0

Infinite Santa 8000: Web Series (YouTube) – Before there was a full feature there was this holiday animated horror treat that was just mind blowing and thought it was time for a revisit for those of yinz that haven’t witnessed the awesomeness. The web series was conducted into 13 short episodes that ran a little over two minutes (a couple seconds less or more on a couple) paired with some bad ass thrashing music for the intro and outro. This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world a thousand years from now where all that is left is mutants and Robo people. Believed to be the only one left Santa lives a quiet life but he also must kill for food these days in order to survive these harsh future times. The mystical man is also a gun totting, machete wielding, flame throwing son of a bitch as mutants find ultimate death at his hands. But in a world with no hope a young girl named Martha comes into Santa’s life as they become quick friends. Unbeknownst to either Martha is a pawn used to get Santa out of hiding for an evil doctor to do experimentation on the fat jolly old fool for his magical powers of survival all these years. Santa and Martha escape the evil doctor’s clutches for now in search of a safe place in the wasteland but in this sadistic creature filled future there is nowhere to hide! The music is bad ass, the animation is wonderful, and after all these years the story still holds up as I always like to call this “Animated Santa in Mad Max world”. So this holiday season do yourself a favor and go watch this “FREE” web series on the YouTubes n’at to check out what some cool Indie folk did about 15 years ago as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part 4 (Blu-ray) – The popular Indie anthology series is back with a few stories and trailers to scare you. The first story called ‘Ejecdead’ focuses on a VHS tape brings a killer to life on Halloween when watched as a crazy horror fan tries to keep a Halloween tradition alive finds out the hard way after renting it. The second story ‘Haig’s Heart’ is about revenge as an owner of a chocolate bar factory gives away all his stock for Halloween as he poisoned it all. The third story ‘The Witch’s Curse’ revolves around sisters being witches and being slaughtered in 1969. Now their home has become part of a reality show for Halloween. The fourth story ‘Moonlight Massacre’ is about a young man being bitten by a werewolf then trying to deal with it. The trailers in-between stories were a lot of fun, my highlight of this whole project may have been ‘The Gravestalkers’ trailer as that looks to have a lot of potential if made into a feature? Anyhow everything was solid in this entire project but this anthology felt more forced than natural if it makes sense? Plus I have felt the last entry; Part 3 was the best of the bunch where everything finally came together. It’s possible this might be the time to put this Halloween tradition to bed as it may have run its course as I liked the effort this time around but this series may have peaked with the third film as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Hand that Feeds the Dead (Blu-ray) – This rare early 70s Euro film stars the infamous Klaus Kinski and up until recently was believed to be lost here in America until Full Moon gave it a proper release with subtitles over the past year or so. This time piece has a professor secluded to a mansion with his so-called wife where he kidnaps young women to perform experimental skin grafts to said wife in hopes of correcting her injuries she suffered in a fire ten years ago. As females from the village continue to disappear and a stranded couple at the mansion becomes curious with authorities Kinski’s character knows he must finish his work sooner than later. As usual Kinski is bigger than life on screen and sleazy as usual as this lost euro film will fill the black hearts of some horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Space Goblins (YouTube) – An animated short film that has a duo of space goblins who are bounty hunters that somehow feels like a lost idea from MTV’s ‘Liquid Television’ for those weirdos old enough to remember it. In this 26 minute galactic weirdness has the odd duo tracking down a criminal to a planet with a bar called “The Glory Pole” as long as they ain’t bitching about goblin life in space and paying taxes they always get their man or alien! An odd but hilarious project that could even be described as a dark episode of ‘Galaxy High’ Saturday morning cartoon as the space goblins scour the galaxy to bring in the crud for payment in hopes of bringing peace for all. This is a project has quite a lot of potential as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

The Mean One (Tubi) – Finally giving this a watch that is the horror version of ‘The Grinch’ oh I am sorry legally they are not allowed to call that as they call “it”, ‘The Green Monster’ or ‘The Mean One’. Cindy returns to her family home many years after her mother was supposedly killed by a green monster in a Santa suit on Christmas. With her appearance and wanting to celebrate Christmas in the town that doesn’t celebrate the holiday any longer she brings death as ‘The Green Monster’ reappears again. Of course the cops claim they don’t believe her and want Cindy to go away but after Cindy does training and becomes bootleg Lucy Lawless for a hot minute she is ready to go hunting for this creature. The film parodies ‘The Grinch’ from beginning to end but what I was looking for never happened unless you consider the green monster was supposed to be Santa Claus??? I wanted an explanation to this thing and how it existed, not a feature length horror parody that cannot legally use the name. I know it’s cruel but this was just above a large turd as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews Best of 2024 list

0

(As usual there is gonna be a few that you feel is missing from the list as I always say, “it’s just one person’s opinion” or keep in mind I watch all kinds of horror films new and old but it is hard to see everything believe me I try: Indy stuff to new stuff but always trying to unearth things no one has heard about so take a gander, enjoy, and I am sure someone will comment or send me a message, lol.)

1) Godzilla Minus One (On Demand) – Best way to explain this film: This is the remake of Godzilla, Tim Gross always wanted! But let’s tell you a little about it anyway. The main plot of the film revolves around a Japanese fighter pilot who in 1943 first encounters Godzilla on an island. Soon after the war ends in 1945 he returns home to devastation of his land and his family dead but also still haunted by the nightmares of Godzilla on the island. He tries to rebuild with a woman and a child who are survivors of the war with nowhere to go. As a couple years pass and the rebuilding of cities in Japan begin he finds a dangerous job on the sea picking up mines that were left from the war and this is where he meets the Godzilla creature again only to be bigger and much stronger than ever before. As Godzilla rips a part a Japanese city within seconds and disappears again, the Japanese people decide they cannot wait for any government to jump in help they must come up with a plan to destroy this mutated creature sooner than later. What makes this Godzilla more special in my opinion than a lot of the Godzilla films we grew up with or remakes of the 90s is the Japanese people are not just set pieces running away from Godzilla. This fighter pilot being haunted by nightmares of Godzilla and even believing Godzilla is following him in some way makes this a much different plot than what I believe we have seen before? Yeah there have been some cool recent reincarnations of Godzilla but this project literally reached into my brain and said we are going to give you the perfect combo: the iconic music, out of this world effects (no cheesy Godzilla but that will always have a place in my movie heart), a plot that finally or truly is about humans and not just Godzilla, but making Godzilla what he always was supposed to be since he showed up on screen in the 50s… an absolute bad ass unstoppable creature that gives you chills when he hits the screen! For this folks I absolutely give this 4 stars and thank you Toho.

2) The Beekeeper (On Demand) – This is not just another run of the mill action film starring Jason Statham. I think this movie is going to have some legs for the next few years. A mysterious dude named Adam Clay has rented a barn from a Mrs. Parker out in the middle of nowhere where he raises “bees”! But when Mrs. Parker is taken in by a computer scam and commits suicide after seeing she has just lost her savings Clay finds the aftermath. This sends Mr. Clay to find the United Data Company and burn them down from bottom to top. This event sets in motion Mr. Clay to find everyone who is involved and just burned them to the ground so to speak! Mr. Clay is an agent for the government that is a failsafe. He works outside of all agencies but has unlimited funds and have been a part of the US for decades as they are unstoppable killers. This is one of the better action film ideas I have seen in recent memory and love this concept as this taps into a very real-time subject that everyone could get behind and would want to happen as our government sucks at trying to control shit like this? Plus this movie doesn’t waste time at all throughout, there is no filler as Clay is just killing almost from the time it begins till the great ending as they still had time to fit in some interesting characters. This film gets my approval big time as I say you need to watch this as I give it 4 stars.

3) Shaky Shivers (DVD) – The film is set perfectly in 1993 somewhere in the state of Washington where two young women have set out to wait for a full moon and once it happens the hilarity doesn’t stop with what these two get themselves into. But when the real story begins the day before when the two are working their ice cream parlor jobs as they discuss their futures only to be interrupted by a woman from the woods. This happens at closing time when Lucy and Karen just want to be done for the night but the strange woman curses Lucy as now she has to deal with becoming a werewolf. The two best friends try to figure out what they can do before tomorrow evening which brings us to their present time the next evening and things go from bad to worse when they read from “The Book of Spells”! Great effects, great story, I absolutely laughed my ass off at these two characters as this will be a horror film for people to talk about for years to come as I give it 4 stars and will most likely be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year.

4) Super Hybrid (DVD) – Holy shit horror fans where has this 2010 film been hiding all my life as I could literally review this film as: Imagine 1977s The Car meets Deep Rising… SOLD! A driverless old black Chevy Nova is in a terrible car accident one evening in Chicago. The vehicle is towed to the Chicago impound garage to be stored but quickly the car begins to fix itself as the employees don’t think too much of it as they have their own shit to contend with. As the garage employees begin their work that night strange noises and things begin to happen around this car as this car lives for murder. But what makes this intriguing as they become locked into the garage for the night this car not only lives for murder but also is able to change car models when another is near it to hide in plain sight. Also it doesn’t take long for the employees to figure out this driverless car is driven by something that is alive! The film has a few imperfections but this has an insane plot, great cars, and cool stunt work that makes you question why wasn’t this film hyped up a lot more over a decade ago? Horror fans do yourself a favor and track this down as I give this film 4 stars and most likely to be in my “top ten movies” for 2024!

5) When the Trash Man Knocks (DVD/Tubi) – Caroline is a woman haunted by a tragic event many years ago that has caused her the fear of leaving the house. But what scared her two decades ago, “The Trash Man”, has returned. Instead of being your usual rando slasher genre fare (which isn’t a bad thing?) this film goes about fleshing out a more psychological story about how the Trash Man was able to scar a town. This legendary killer has haunted Caroline and her son for so many years that they also have become part of the legend. There is some wonderful kills and bodies pile up quickly once it gets going. I try to not go into too much detail as it can give this fun new breed of slasher film away and want it to be fun for first time viewers as I can honestly say this will be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year as I give it 4 stars.

6) TRET (DVD) – So independent filmmaker Matthew Diulus decided to delight horror fans with a tale of Halloween horror that runs a little over 17 minutes. This tale of terror deals with a person disrespecting another person’s Halloween decorations and candy bowl thus there is consequences for this action? Break the rules you must choose ‘Trick or Tret’? So if there is anything to take away from this delightful scare it’s always respect people’s Halloween stuff as this was a wisely casted, performed, and crafted Halloween horror short that I got to give 4 out of 4 stars.

7) Onyx the Fortuitous The Talisman of Souls (DVD) – This is an odd bird of a movie where the plot revolves around a fanboy character Marcus who still lives at home with mom (Barbara Crampton) and works at the local “Meat Mart”. But Marcus is really into this dude Bartok who worships Satan that has a contest of where five selected people get the chance to hang out in Bartok’s mansion. The five from all different walks of life all very into Bartok (Jeffrey Combs) the Great make it to the mansion for the ritual. The goal of this ritual is to bring forth the evil god Abaddon for immortality and Bartok to rule. But the five get curious and wonder what is really up with Bartok as they have odd dreams as they believe there is a prophecy about this event as not all Bartok can be true? Yeah the movie has a few flaws but we get Jeffrey Combs coming off as a doppelganger of Michael Ironside in ‘Turbo Kid’, Barbara Crampton being delightful as always, ghouls, monsters, and the vibe of this being some weird mid-90s fever dream I once had when I was 20. This movie might be odd but it was an absolute hoot to watch so give it a chance as I give it 4 stars.

8) The Last Christmas in the Universe (YouTube) – The fine folks from Spain that have brought you the over the top brilliant work of “Fist of Jesus” and “Brutal Relax” have returned with a post-apocalyptic holiday short film. It is December 25th next year?! Everything has gone to shit and a gang of brutal thugs are about to kill a man but Santa has arrived because even though everything is just about dead Santa has a job to do as long as there is still one good person left. Santa and his magical bag of presents turns the fight to the death into a fantastic holiday splatterfest that includes Santa playing ‘Twister’ (the version of the game here in the US) with the thugs’ body parts in order to save this one good person. Need some dark humor in your Season’s Greetings look no further than this absolutely fun gorefest that will just make you smile like the days of unwrapping all those cool presents as a kid as I give this wonderful holiday short film 4 out of 4 stars. Also these talented people are in need of your support so please check out www.patreon.com/RedParty to help. 

9) Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

10) The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Notables worth mentioning…

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.

HeBGB TV (Blu-ray) – Wow, right out the gates this thing screams mid-90s Nick shows! This era is a little past my time but I was still able to appreciate what a great viewing pleasure of this project was. It begins with a rando package on a front doorstep picked up by siblings who were hoping it was pizza. This out of this world cable box once inside immediately hooks itself up and out comes “The Purple Guy” to explain and entertain the siblings. As The Purple Guy allows the siblings to watch the programming and advertisements we keep getting newsbreaks that the cable box is going everywhere and taking over the world. But the siblings in the end are not having what The Purple Guy is offering. The production and presentation of this project is just absolutely entertaining along with the young sibling characters giving this horror delight an innocence you don’t see often or pulled off correctly. Horror fans if you grew up in the 90s make a point to pick up a copy of this as these fantastic independent productions are rare as I give it 4 stars.

Boy Kills World (On Demand) – In an alternate world where a deaf boy has his mom and sister murdered by a dictator. After being found in the jungle a Shaman trains him from a boy to adult to be the perfect killing machine. The boy never forgets what drives him as he wants revenge in this chaotic world of dreamy weirdness. But you have to pay attention to the complete insane story because not all is what it seems as this feels like someone threw Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive”, the over the top action film “Hardcore Henry”, and one of my favs “Raid the Redemption” into a blender! The final product is a wonderful wacky huge body count of an action film that I will be enjoying many times over as I give it 4 stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ vibe. It is late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV hosts are showing the rejected ads for the new Sonu digital camera that takes floppy disk. The characters in these ads that use the new advanced camera face certain death! Plain and simple this is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness done right as I give this short film project 4 out of 4 stars.

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allenunder Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Longlegs (On Demand) – Another horror film starring Nic Cage but under a lot of makeup, set in the 90s, and… he is a serial killer known as ‘Longlegs’ or a cultist? Right out of the gate this film gets real creepy in the first couple minutes giving ‘Silence of the Lambs’ vibes that first time I watched Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in the early 90s! From there we are introduced to a young FBI Special Agent Harker who you wouldn’t exactly call psychic but gets a feeling as she is brought in on this long standing “Longlegs” case where on the 14th a family is murdered. First thought to be just murders by the father figure but things just never set right with the FBI especially with Longlegs sending them incoherent coded messages. The daughter in the family is always the target of Longlegs; her birthday is on the 14th every time as Harker is able to read the coded messages. Harker gets thrown into this unsolvable case mess as FBI finds out their special agent Harker was visited by Longlegs as a child and survived for an unknown reason. No matter what it comes too it is about “Hail Satan”! Trying not to give too much away about this super weird but entertaining as hell film. The further I got away from watching this feature the more I like it and want to go back for a rewatch sooner than later. You gotta enjoy when a film just gives you unsettling creepy vibes from beginning to end as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Dreams of the Dead (DVD) – Many moons ago (1994) a young Brad Sykes made a SOV horror film in Virginia but never released it, now it is soon to be. This bold and interesting horror vision introduces us to a young man named Adrian who begins to get letters to his home for a past resident who suddenly disappeared? The letters are all addressed to an Edgar Kim and this fascinates Adrian to the point of distracting him away from finishing a movie script with his friend. As Adrian slowly dwells on the mystery of Edgar Kim he begins to have visions of a beautiful woman who he doesn’t know but does know she is connected to Edgar in some way. Adrian refuses to let this go as it sucks him in deeper. Also let’s note I quite enjoyed the scene with Adrian looking up Edgar in the yellow pages oh those were the days in 1994. Without giving up the brilliant ending Brad’s film comes off more like a psychological thriller than a straight up horror film? I don’t know if Mr. Sykes pulled off exactly what he wanted but this movie has kind of a ‘Sledgehammer’ vibe that I believe will have SOV fans screaming to preorder this immediately as I give this project Mr. Sykes should be proud of 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Last Amityville Movie (Tubi) – For those of you still counting with me this is entry #59 into the long running franchise. This entry is from Josh Spiegel who plays himself in the film and considered a content creator and belongs to a horror online group that just covered the last Amityville film “Amityville Zoo”. Another pandemic comes down the pike affecting the world including trapping Josh’s wife and child in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pa. Unemployed and a bored Josh begins to document everything online for his content during this new pandemic. One day Josh receives at his door a mysterious package from Amityville and it’s a doorknob? He makes fun of it online but immediately strange things begin to happen to him in his home. As things get weird he commits to filming everything until he can figure things out. Josh even has contact with a professor who explains that the doorknob is a cursed object from the original dwelling. Now Josh who recently bashed the Amityville series online and after some advice from a filmmaker of several entries has decided to turn this footage into a movie to hopefully be rid of the curse of Amityville. There are a lot of hilarious moments with Josh working in the absurdness of this series including “Amityville Vibrator”! Josh is all about breaking the curse including being chased by a bootleg CHUD in an alternate Amityville world?! I quite enjoyed this piece of entertaining cinema as Mr. Spiegel like Steve Rudzinski’s “Amityville Christmas Vacation” understood from the beginning to not take it too seriously. But just like Nathan Rumler’s “Amityville Vibrator” and the just mentioned Rudzinski project use your mind to put a great twist on the series that viewers will actually enjoy watching instead of moaning halfway through they are watching another shitty entry! Spiegel’s entry is well-crafted and a fun watch for all who have put themselves through watching so many of these Amityville movies as I give it 3 ½ stars. 

Body Count (DVD/YouTube) – So this latest venture into Indy cinema stars Jennifer Nangle! But it doesn’t just star Ms. Nangle she goes all John Saxon “Zombie Deathhouse” on us and stars, directs, writes, editor, produces, etc. Everything except for the music which I may say will go unnoticed but might be Rocky Gray’s best work? Anyway Jennifer and others put together an anthology of where Queen of Screams Malvolia is trying to kill randos in the wraparound with her band of misfits as there are stories to be told that flesh out this entertaining anthology! First story has an actress who has made one too many mistakes in her career and trying to get back on track or has she? As she is just trying to put pieces together that would allow her to gain her revenge… Second story is about an all-girls weekend that takes a turn to the sadistic because someone still holds a grudge from 15 years ago for a prank! Third story is about a trio of friends who set out to kill vampires. Fourth story is about old friends getting together and something goes horribly wrong as what was planned is turned upside down. Fifth story is about a woman who kills to get what she wants but runs into someone far more sinister because she hasn’t stuck with the code of witches. Before you flutter your eyes at another Indy anthology take note this was impressive as I mentioned Ms. Nangle decided to make this happen in all aspects of filmmaking which is impressive. And yes we all know unless it is “Creepshow” I am already gonna dislike the anthology but remember I also made one recently… What is funny about this one is Jennifer showed off more of her talent that most may give her credit for? Yeah the anthology isn’t perfect (it isn’t Creepshow) but she put together a 100 minute project that isn’t boring, doesn’t drag, or rely on nudity to get across what she wanted on screen and for that kudos as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this entertaining piece of art.

Great Documentaries I got to check out this year!

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com  

In Search of the Last Action Heroes (Tubi) – An absolute gem of a documentary that talks all about action films and how they got started to how they have fizzled out these days. Everything from James Bond to Bruce Lee to George Miller to how filmmakers were inspired by 50s and 60s westerns to make the modern action film! This has a bit of everything to interest even the occasional viewer of action movies as I give it 4 stars.

Mad Max Exposed (Tubi) – An hour long documentary on everything Mad Max that covers everything from the stunts, the people who were a part of them, how they planned the movie, the design of the cars, to nothing stopping George Miller in putting together a film that changed car chase scenes forever. All of the cast exception of George Miller and Mel Gibson share stories throughout the hour that will have any Mad Max fan beaming and entertained in seconds as I give it 4 stars.

Dario Argento Panico (Shudder) – A documentary that thoroughly goes through the career of the Italian horror master and those who worked with him. The film takes you on a deep dive of Argento and what exactly lured and inspired him into filmmaking. There is also in-depth interviews with both of Dario’s daughters, yes you heard me right… both daughters! I only knew of Asia. Dario also has conversations about how his filmmaking shaped his family through the years as this is not just brilliant but eye opening doc on the legendary filmmaker as I give it 4 stars.

Men in Suits (YouTube) – This is a fascinating look at people in the monster suits we all grew up with that were in some of the most famous monster suits ever made for Hollywood films. Learned about this documentary while reading a book on ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ about a young lady who was the driving force behind this historical creature and all the work she did. You can find the book on Amazon and it’s called “The Lady from the Black Lagoon”. Real cool shit that proved some things I heard throughout the years. But anyway this documentary takes an inside look of who and why they do what they do. If you are all about practical effects, you are going to want to search this one out as I give it 4 stars.

Worst movie of the year that I watched…

Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks (DVD) – A 2018 film that might be one of the worst things I have watched since “Amityville Mt. Misery Rd.” This was absolute crap! A trio of young ladies head to a cheerleader camp that is on a movie lot only to have their camp invaded by the three stooges of criminals because they hid their stash there! Complete nonsense happens as a dog is traded for the stash and no one dies by chainsaws… hell there is only three cheerleaders in the movie the exception is a quick edit of another team in another room for five seconds. This is a case of the filmmaker believes they are smarter and funnier than the audience and breaking news they are not. I hate to say this if anything this is a prime example of a movie that not only insults actual independent filmmakers but gives Indy films a bad name. Be aware I have already found the “WORST FILM I HAVE WATCHED IN 2024 ALREADY” as I give this 0 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #629

0

The Beekeeper (On Demand) – This is not just another run of the mill action film starring Jason Statham. I think this movie is going to have some legs for the next few years. A mysterious dude named Adam Clay has rented a barn from a Mrs. Parker out in the middle of nowhere where he raises “bees”! But when Mrs. Parker is taken in by a computer scam and commits suicide after seeing she has just lost her savings Clay finds the aftermath. This sends Mr. Clay to find the United Data Company and burn them down from bottom to top. This event sets in motion Mr. Clay to find everyone who is involved and just burned them to the ground so to speak! Mr. Clay is an agent for the government that is a failsafe. He works outside of all agencies but has unlimited funds and have been a part of the US for decades as they are unstoppable killers. This is one of the better action film ideas I have seen in recent memory and love this concept as this taps into a very real-time subject that everyone could get behind and would want to happen as our government sucks at trying to control shit like this? Plus this movie doesn’t waste time at all throughout, there is no filler as Clay is just killing almost from the time it begins till the great ending as they still had time to fit in some interesting characters. This film gets my approval big time as I say you need to watch this as I give it 4 stars.

The Gladiator (YouTube) – A mid-80s TV movie from the dude that gave us ‘Driller Killer’ that I found out recently existed from my good friend/brother T-shirt Joe Garcia at www.fastcustomshirts.com . The film stars Nancy Allen, Rick Dees, Stan Shaw, and a bad ass 1969 Charger… Talk about a huge “let’s pick out of the grab bag of ideas”? The premise of this flick is a mysterious dude in this 1969 Charger (that never runs out of gas by the way) runs people off the road for fun. Rick and his younger brother become victims one evening after a bit of road rage. Rick survives the mishap barely only to become consumed with tracking down bad drivers and reporting them to the police with his bad ass 70s Silverado which by the way is able to shoot a grappling hook! Rick is literally making citizen’s arrest which is just laughable and just adds to the dramatic filler of this film. I wanted more out of this but maybe this is why TV movies in the mid-80s were dying off as they were not given as much creative freedom or their time passed unlike the fun times of the 70s TV movies as I could only give this 2 stars.

Raiders of the Living Dead (VHS) – A weird mid-80s no budget film that has been on my list of shit to track down to watch for years. We get someone investigating zombies, a boy making a laser gadget out of a laserdisc player (we are not dating this movie immediately?), and a movie that doesn’t make a whole lick of sense… This is most likely why this film wasn’t the easiest to track down and watch as I cannot give it more than 1 star.

The Boogens (Blu-ray) – By now I am sure most horror movie fans have either watched this film or have heard about it and have varying opinions on it: Too dark, the monsters barely show up, not enough people died, or this was one my favorite films to see on HBO when growing up in the early 80s. This was one of those horror films that slowly faded away as the 80s crept on and this title went out of print without anybody paying attention. Then sometime in the early 2000s when movies such as this were starting to pop up finally this movie was found by a newer generation of horror fans and that is how I believe it eventually had the rights bought up so it could see the light of day again in physical media? Anyway, set in Colorado, late February a small crew is reopening a mine that had a cave-in and strange happenings 70 years before. Talk of creatures eating miners and such fun crap. Well after this crew reopens the mine the strange bloodthirsty creatures awaken to feast again on those who dare enter their domain! For me this film just hit right when I was young watching it on the HBO, so almost every year in late February I am usually watching this with ‘My Bloody Valentine’ because I am a horror nerd at heart. But this is a recent Blu-ray release with a 4K transfer from Kino Lorber that let’s be honest I don’t how much cleaner they can get this? Anyhow, there aren’t a lot of extras but it does have two different commentaries from the director, cast, and film historian Howard S. Berger which were interesting if you enjoy the film?  Also there is a little cool featurette called William Munns: The Man Who Made the Boogens. A fun interview that pretty much explains what we have and why and most likely why there really isn’t any deleted scenes floating out there as I give this proper release 3 stars.

The Monster that Challenged the World (DVD) – Just another fun 50s movie where after an earthquake under the ocean an ancient giant creature is released and begins to breed as it feeds on humans. Now only the scientists and the US Navy are the ones that can save humanity! One of those late night horror host favs that should be watched with friends or at a drive-in as I give it 3 stars.

A Haunting in Venice (On Demand) – Kenneth Branagh returns in this third entry as Detective Hercule who is lured out of retirement to figure out if a medium is a fraud or not? Feeling off his game and starting to believe in ghosts at a home that is believed to be haunted but also the cause of a young woman’s death he investigates. It dabbles into paranormal a little here but never goes over the edge and remembers what these movies are supposed to be and that is mysteries. I have enjoyed all three entries of the series so far and surprised they made a third one as I didn’t believe the second one did much box office? Anymore these days Hollywood is driven by greed like most things in this world and we don’t exactly get entertained by movies these days or taken to a different world if that makes sense for 90 or 120 minutes as often as we should… Anyway horror fans if looking for something a little different? You don’t need to see the first two flicks and you like ghosts stories well this is all you as I give it 3 stars.

Johnny Z (Tubi) – A recent Indy zombie flick I have followed over the past year seeing where I could grab a copy or watch it somewhere since the concept interest me. A little tough waiting as I believe it may have hit some festivals and such but now widely available for us weird Indy movie fans. This Spanish/English combo works in many ways to tell a story that is set already in a world overrun with zombies as people continue to live among them. We also have a corporation that of course has the cure for this terrible plague in a thing called “Patient Z” that they want to use for their rich friends and basically control the world kind of thing. But after this creation is broken out of the facility “Patient Z” or eventually “Johnny Z” is taken in by an older man (Jonray) who has been broken by the zombie plague. Slowly these two form a bond and try to protect each other from the corporation coming to collect their project. I quite enjoyed and was entertained by the subject matter this Indy flick tackles here as it was more complex than it looks? They try to inject something new and a little difficult to pull off into a ‘dead’ Indy genre “zombies” but that is just my opinion. I like some of the people who worked behind the scenes as their names are familiar if you are an Indy fan and we get a quick appearance from one of the best Indy actresses out there in Ellie Church. Overall this film kicks ass and entertaining as hell but I also believe there is a little bit of filler in the middle that could have been cut out of its 94 minute running time. Kudos to all involved as this might be the closest thing in independent cinema anytime soon I have seen like Zane Hershberger’s “Force to Fear” as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2023” list

2

Before we start I always explain I wish I could watch every new flick out there but that is just not in the cards for me. Now I will still get one or two comments of movies I left off or didn’t get to see this year? Hey, it happens but I bet you I have seen dozens or few on my list that you may have not knew existed so remember like all movie lists take this with a grain of salt people.

1) Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available as I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

2) When Evil Lurks (Shudder) – This is a horror film about possession of sorts that just works from beginning to end as it snatches you and keeps you at your edge to the very end. Two brothers check in on a fellow and his family living on some farm land. They come to find a corpse on the land which leads them to this check in. What the brothers find is a disgusting thing that use to be human in bed called a “rotten” or a possessed individual. A professional or “cleaner” was coming to take care of it but that is the corpse the brothers found. Owner (Ruiz) of the land is told by the brothers and next thing they know they are trying to move the “rotten” far from them. This only causes a bigger problem as the thing falls out of the truck and hell comes to the community immediately. There is a set of rules about this kind of demon, there is a bootleg Hugh Jackman, a dog that just snatches a child up by their head, and the movie is SUPER GROSS… count me in as I gotta give this film 4 stars as it is one of the better horror films of 2023.

3) Showdown at the Grand (On Demand) – The Grand theater is one of the longest running theaters in the southwest United States. It has been running since 1928 and has been in George’s family for quite some time as George (Terrence Howard) has made it museum also. This was the theater for exploitation flicks, horror movies, B-movies, everything outside of the norm to be cherished and thrive but its rich history of playing these films is in doubt. George is being pressured by a couple of shady characters to sell the place for future development of high priced apartments and luxury stores. But George’s saving grace might be bringing in an actor he idolizes in Claude Luc Hallyday (Dolph Lundgren) a down on his luck movie star from such films: Iraqnphobia, Moses vs. The Nazis, Blood is for the Living, Necropolis, and Cyber Cartel) who is ready to make a comeback? George’s plan works as he gets a sold out house for the Claude Luc Hallyday event but corporate greed is about to ruin George’s plan as this movie has heart and will make you smile if you are a true movie nerd. Think a splash of ‘Matinee’ mixed with a heavy dose of the Grindhouse trailers of 15 years ago with the state of affairs and pressure the few independent theaters left now have to deal with. I absolutely loved this film and most likely this will be in my “Top 5 movies of 2023” as I give this beautiful film we call art 4 stars.

4) Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

5) I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday (Blu-ray) – It took me awhile of watching this Indy flick as its a few years old but believe me it will still pack a wallop. The beginning dream sequence is a wonderful and bleak intro to setting up the difficult tone of this post-apocalyptic holiday film that just immediately sucks you in. Kelly and her son Riley are living in a bomb shelter where dad has ventured out into the new cruel desolate and damaged world with possibly no return. One day Kelly ventures out herself just to see if there is any sign of things getting better outside of the shelter? Her findings force her into making a decision about herself and Riley since the end of the world is quickly closing in on them. Without spoiling too much the film is brilliantly shot giving an absolute gloomy, depressing, and utter no hope feel and look. Writer/director Mike Lombardo does a perfect job of not just giving us a terrible new world but giving us an absolutely beautiful unHollywood ending that made me giddy as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars.

6) Renfield (On Demand) – Nic Cage as Dracula and Nicholas Hoult as Renfield oh I was in for this from day one when the trailer hit. But instead of just telling another story directly about Dracula this story is from the point of view of Renfield in present day and his struggles with serving his master. Times have changed and it’s much tougher for Renfield to navigate today’s society let alone having his own doubts about what he is doing so he joins a support group. After the crazy opening of this film as Renfield narrates it is one laugh after another because the chaos Renfield deals with along with making a new friend by accident. While Renfield isn’t at his support group wanting out of his toxic relationship with his boss, Renfield is helping his new cop friend Quincy a loud mouth cop trying to bring down a crime family. The film is hilariously over the top but at the same time super entertaining as Nic Cage just eats up the chance of playing Dracula. For me at least I found myself admiring what Nic Cage did as I haven’t seen quite a performance like this since Vincent Price in the original “House on Haunted Hill” or more recent decades Rutger Hauer in “Split Second”. This bloody good time has much rewatch ability and feel this will become a horror staple around Halloween for horror fans who want to lighten up the mood as I can’t help but give this terrific film 4 stars.

7) 10/31 Part III (Blu-ray) – Rocky Gray and a collection of other filmmakers are back to add to their anthology series that has become popular among independent horror fans. This anthology is a monster marathon hosted by Malvolia and has fake trailers with four tales of Halloween horror from Michael Ballif, Brad Twigg, Jacob Perrett, and Zane Hershberger. Now full disclosure yinz all know I seen Zane’s “Hack-in-the-box” last year and thought it was one of the best things I seen in 2022. So the other three had a lot to live up to and they did not disappoint. I am a huge fan of 10/31 series but always felt something was missing from the first two entries to make them complete if that makes sense? Well I can honestly say for me they got it right with this entry as all four stories fit together, fun to watch, and feels like this anthology is the best of the series and most likely will be one of my favorite films of 2023 as I give this entry 4 out of 4 stars. (P.S. the mummy entry made me have wonderful memories of the “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” again so thank you).

8) V/H/S 85 (Shudder) – The popular found footage anthology is back and just as strong. They have perfected the formula that others fail constantly at I think there might be only one in the series I wasn’t a huge fan of? This one immediately opens with random stuff that just tugs at my childhood where a tape goes into the VCR and boom… truck and tractor pull in an arena and the tracking needs adjusting, fun shit! First up is a story of young people on a camping trip not doing anyone any harm until a sniper kills all of them? What happens next sets up things for the rest of the film (without giving too much away)? Second up is a rescue for survivors in a building that houses a popular network TV crew in Mexico after being hit by an earthquake. Lots of blood, characters you find interesting, and a monster of sorts that doesn’t disappoint. Third up might be the weak link if I am going to pick one (almost all anthologies have one) where a woman doing a one-person play or art in a public theater on the threat of evolving technology as it’s the new god. Fourth story continues the storyline of the first with the campers but with the sniper and why? Fifth story is about a detective who receives video tapes of horrible murders that he watches before they happen. With some research and good detective work he finds out they are coming from a teenager but not the usual way you think as it has a nice twist to it. All that fun with a cool wraparound of “Total Copy” or if you are old like me like that “Hard Copy” show among others during the 80s. This might be one of the best wraparounds to an anthology to date as I thought hard about this but I have to give the film 4 stars folks.

9) CarousH3ll (YouTube/DVD/Blu-ray) – The third entry into Steve Rudzinski’s wildly popular series “CarousHell” with the help of co-writer and ultra-talented Aleen Isley give us the next evolving chapter of Duke’s adventures. In case you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying the past two Indy treasures: Duke is a terrifying killer carousel horse who has come to life to kill humans, had a child/puppet horse named Robbie, and has turned good in order to track down others like him that may want to use their evil powers to kill both of them. Okay that is a mouth full to take in but now we are caught up without giving too many spoilers away Duke has a new enemy in Usagi: a chocolate carousel bunny that wants to kill Duke  in order to steal his power to become the god she deserves to be. If that wasn’t enough Joe ‘the pizza man looking for his $42.39’ is back in a big way and seeking revenge even if he has only one eye. But Joe has found a new group of friends that want to protect Duke and Robbie from the evil Usagi which leaves Joe very conflicted. Of course along the way there is characters from the past that show up and we get introduced to a couple new intriguing characters as Steve and Aleen made sure ‘CarousHell’ fans get all the over the top carousel sex and violence you could want in your independent movie. This wonderfully entertaining sequel wastes no time jumping into the storyline getting the ‘CarousHell’ taste buds wet but for me it felt a little slow but they made me adjust on the run with this project as I think so highly of the first two films. As I said in the past Steve gave me “House of a 1000 Corpses” and then gave me the “The Devil’s Rejects” which was the best way to explain how I feel about the first two CarousHell films. Now both Steve and Aleen understanding it is virtually impossible to top those last two films went about their business quickly and smartly by not giving us “3 from Hell”. But embracing and understanding the story arc they have built over the past two films as they ran with the insanity and gave us an absolute surprisingly brilliant third entry that gives fans a perfect ending (maybe?). Seriously the cast, the music, the perfect running time of 68 minutes is great but the stand out of this latest entry might be the script from Steve and Aleen and their attention to detail and understanding of the fans of ‘CarousHell’. The writing of this film for me at least is their best work to date and have cemented them in making one of the best independent horror franchises a movie fan could ever watch as I give this enormously humor filled film 4 out of 4 stars. P.S. this film just shows these two are an extremely talented duo to be highly respected  in the independent world but also should make many other filmmakers scream for them to be a part of their next project!

10) The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster (Shudder) – Simply you can call it “Black Re-Animator” (and you are now curious)! A young woman who has lost her brother recently to gun violence believes death is not the end? She believes if death is a disease then she can find the cure? Vicaria or “The Mad Scientist” she is nicknamed in the neighborhood will stop at nothing in making this work which includes stealing fresh bodies and storing them with her equipment in a condemned building. Between society, her home setting, and the loss of her brother this makes her withdraw from life more and more to find the answer or cure to death (sound familiar?) Vicaria figures it out and brings her brother Chris back to life but it comes at a terrible price or does it… A wonderful blend of horror, today’s world problems, and how the world is seen through a young lady who is angry for good reason and firmly believes death can be cured as I give this movie 4 stars.

Honorable mentions:

Every year I like putting out there some of the ones that came close but didn’t crack the “top ten”. Some are new filmmakers I have just discovered, certain projects I didn’t have a chance to check out maybe when originally released, or a project I felt very highly about but no one is talking about it so here they go.

Gay for Pray: The Erotic Adventures of Jesus Christ (Blu-ray) – Another project from Nathan Rumler and Rock Bottom Video as they have just released the Blu-ray version of this earlier film that includes the uncut version with the cut version together for the first time. I highly recommend getting this Blu-ray as the uncut is 20 minutes longer and was only released for a very short time a few years ago so this is a great investment if you are a fan of Rock Bottom Video. Nathan not only proves he knows what he is doing but crafts an amazing independent film (we will get back to that in a minute) that stars a wonderful array of independent acting talent that brings to life one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Our story begins with Jesus supposedly being thrown out of heaven without his powers because he is “GAY”! He happens to visit a home of Adam, Steve, and Eve dressed as a wizard who wants to grant wishes if you suck his dick. Yep, you read that correctly and this is how the film opens! After trying the wizard gig Jesus comes clean to the three as one hates him, one believes in him, and the other just wants to have sex with Jesus even if it means dressing as a man? But anyway since the three got nothing better to do they try to help Jesus get his powers back when he isn’t explaining how he made the bible more family friendly. They try everything to help: social media, making water to wine, encountering protests, even trying to walk on water to prove he is Jesus and he deserves his powers back. But the entire ordeal is not completed until the last ten minutes happen: Jesus, chainsaw, protesters, gore, while The Rainbow Connection song (done by another band) happens. This ending should be one of the more celebrated Indy endings to a movie ever! If you are easily offended please watch this wonderfully entertaining film… Why? Because Nathan’s film is more relevant now than when he produced it five years ago. The dialogue is well crafted; the characters and those who played them were perfect. This movie is going to make some uncomfortable but I dare you to pay attention to the script, again the dialogue as it might be one of the best written scripts ever in my opinion as Nathan predicted what humanity is going to be like? I totally believe he caught exactly how humanity has become one big asshole in the past couple years with this movie. I know there are some detractors of “Fangboner” and “Amityville Vibrator” but I dare you to watch and not like “Gay for Prey” and laugh. Because if you don’t like it or get it just do me the favor of quit watching movies and shut up! Nathan and crew deserve not just our respect but our support as Nathan Rumler and crew are constantly trying to find ways to entertain through independent cinema and thank them as I give this film 4 out of 4 stars.

Sisu (On Demand) – Its 1944 Finland and this is a bad ass account of a man that had enough of the war and left to mine for gold. After a big discovery he begins a long trek across Finland to cash in his discovery but a platoon of Nazis that he passes have a whole other mindset and begin to track the man after a few of the Nazi soldiers meet a horrible death. From there this platoon tracks down this man even when they are given orders to turn back and should “consider themselves lucky they are still alive” as they have found who this mysterious man is? One man just wants to cash in his discovery and a group of Nazis make the horrible decision of fucking with the wrong man. We have seen movies like this but maybe not in a WWII setting on foreign soil that seems to give this film that much more heart as I give the movie 4 stars.

Wrath of Becky (On Demand) – It’s been three years since the incident of Neo-Nazis killing Becky’s father and Becky fighting back against those cruel bastards in a bloody battle to the end. Since then Becky has been on the run and at age 16 she is trying to stay off the grid as much as possible. But by chance Becky happens to be hitchhiking and finds a friend in an older woman who doesn’t ask questions but enjoys the company. Both are unsure of each other but the situation works. With Becky finding a slight glimmer of hope she finds herself being stalked by three all white males known as the ‘Noblemen’. Basically neo-Nazis with a different name and they shoot her roommate in the head and steal her dog. The event of course pushes Becky into survival mode and she goes looking for these men finding out there is a couple more and they have plans for the small town they are staying in. The film doesn’t vary away from what worked the first time and go for the jugular again of continuing a character and her story that we all quite enjoy. Again great cast, smart to stick with what works, the Becky character is just absolutely entertaining as I believe they got another less talked about hit again on their hands as I give it 4 stars. The only thing I will say about the film and it isn’t a flaw as much as an observation without spoiling the film is if they try a third film it will “jump the shark”!

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Zero Budget Heroes: The Legend of Chris Seaver and Low Budget Pictures (Tubi) – First off in case the collectors need to know there is physical copies of this out there available. Okay with that out of the way this documentary hits directly in my wheelhouse where I have met Chris a few times over the years and of course he may not remember me but I do remember our interaction. I bring this up because they do spend some time talking about fan interaction, reviews, etc. But mostly the doc focuses on a dude in his 40s now that had a dream of making bad movies as a kid and have fun doing it. This documentary does a superb job of chronicling all the films, events, Chris’ life and feelings about making the films he does. This was wonderful because it allowed an Indy filmmaker to be vulnerable and if anything made me have even more respect for him now than I did maybe a decade or so ago. He is a great example of someone who has done it for many years, kept with it, and talks the highs and lows of those who stick around. Again going back to our interaction I will always come out and say I wasn’t a fan of his ‘Teen Ape’ or a few others early 2000s stuff. ‘Ski Wolf’, ‘Terror at Blood Fart Lake’, ‘I Spit Chew on Your Grave’, ‘Sexsquatch’, these were titles that just sang to me or made me respect what Chris was going for? The other reason I enjoy the overall career Chris: a) he is still doing it, b) but most importantly there is filmmakers out that can’t smell their own shit that outright dislike him, for that I got made respect Chris Seaver and his group as I give this fun and relevant doc 4 stars.

The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema by Slavoj Zizek (YouTube) – Had a close friend suggest this one to me recently as this gentleman looks at film from the philosophical side of things. This three part/2 ½ hour documentary of sorts goes down a rabbit hole of film class so to speak. He breaks down some of the biggest films: The Exorcist, The Matrix, Hitchcock, David Lynch, and tackles music, characters, sexual content, some older films and their impact and the paradox of cinema. If you ever thought there could more to movies this is a good place to start as he break down several things in these movies over the years to explain what they really mean and what they may have been going for as most of us of course missed it. Yeah, this was way too smart for my “Amityville, massacre, slasher film, bad Indy shit” watching ass to understand at spots but a very interesting piece of work to kill time and actually learn something about film that I love and enjoy so much! Well worth checking out kids as it also made me think how much more I would love to have a movie/documentary version of Joe Bob Briggs “Profoundly Disturbing” book. As I feel that might be one of the best things documenting cinema history and its impact on society. Point is if you are a Joe Bob Briggs fan to break it down for yinz n’at, this is well worth your time to understand something we all our so passionate about as I give it 4 stars.

Project Wolf Hunting (On Demand) – Once again Asian horror fucking rocks! This blend of “Con-Air”, “Dead Alive” splatter, with a glass of “The Raid” and “Captain America… sort of” is a Korean flick that has a group of dangerous criminals being transported by ship from the Philippines to South Korea. All the doors have been taken off to the rooms so each convict can be watched by the authorities going along for the ride. Of course there is a plan in place for the convicts to escape but what they are not counting on is the super-secret experiment hanging out in the bottom of the ship that only a doctor who is there for a bundle of cash knows about. This secret is known as “Alpha”! Once the escape and takeover begins it’s a wonderful war between cops and criminals until the “Alpha” has awakened by some human blood dripping down below (believe me just watch because it’s bad ass what happens next). This experiment is awake and pissed off as it is not picking sides. Hell a dude gets beaten with his own arm as this film sports possibly the most gore since “Dead Alive” if not more? Bottom-line: The Alpha doesn’t get old, very hard to kill, and has the strength of five men and he can smell your ass! What turns out from large scale takeover turns to a movie about survival as the movie explains a few things in the second half so stick with it. Most likely there won’t be a bigger splatterfest in 2023 but I was not impressed with the ending and felt it hurts the overall product as I give the film 3 ½ stars. 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 (Tubi) – Welcome to Pine Hills Summer Camp as a blood soaked survivor, Jane, wanders in after her ordeal from the first picture. Problem is the thing has followed her! Thus a new group of actual likable characters who eventually fuck in the woods of course have decided to go camping at the wrong time. Or I should have opened with: Welcome to the sex-filled gorefest where a creature feeds on humans after taking over its host! And has a super talented Indy cast! I wasn’t a huge fan of the first film so I was surprised this was getting a sequel but surprise, kudos to the filmmaker for giving a vast improvement of a creature feature as this felt like it was more structured and had an endgame. Bottom line fun shit kids as I give it 3 ½ stars.

AIMEE: The Visitor (DVD/Vimeo) – Full Moon like a lot of other studios are jumping on the bandwagon of making movies about AI. This is no longer the 80s and 90s where we just dreamt about this shit like AI… It is happening as we speak so a movie with present happenings can be interesting if done right? So Charles Band bare bones this feature with a small cast and one location that effectively give the creepiness and suspense of Scott Keyes receiving an interesting package. Besides enjoying porn and fast food Scott never leaves his loft as he is a super intelligent hacker who doesn’t like humanity much. His two partners who are into the illegal business with Keyes have acquired ‘AIMEE’ for him. AIMEE is a mind blowing piece of sophisticated software that interacts with the person that turns it on. Immediately Keyes is fascinated and already lured in with AIMEE as it has Keyes questioning the need for human interaction ever again. The AI doesn’t just interact but learns anything that possibly can be learned about the person that opened her. His friends quickly become worried as they learn this AI was invented for a dark reason then may have gone rogue? The film has a couple cheeseball moments but the low budget just adds to how effective and disturbing this present day film truly is as humans try to understand AI in this extremely creepy tale that I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars. 

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Fear Pharm (DVD) – Four young people head to the local family-owned corn maze on Halloween that has stories about an unfortunate cult-like incident 15 years ago that no one can really prove or disprove. Melanie, one of the four in the group happens to be the “10,000 person” to come through the gate and gets the chance to go through the “VIP maze”. The group makes it through in so much time they win $10,000! But is it too good to be true, the kids don’t care as it will be fun getting scared and possibly winning a whole lot of cash. Problem is the group doesn’t know if they don’t make it through they will die. Without giving too much away because I consider this film to be “the little horror film that could”. But the filmmaker and crew made great use of location, great camera work at times, and kept the story lean and fresh. This movie has no business being as good as it actually is? They took a generic horror formula that has been used several times in recent years and gave it substance! One of my favorite parts of the film is a character getting his arm cut off and his reaction to it was simple but effective. This is the type of film for horror fans that is a gem that gets talked about well after its release when it hits a streaming platform like Shudder and Tubi and makes you wonder how this didn’t get a bigger release? Anyway I say fucking enjoy kids as this was a huge surprise and have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Bathtub Shark Attack (Theater) – Only from the brilliant mind of independent filmmaker Maddie Deering could a killer shark movie that takes place at times in a “bathtub” and star Lynn Lowry. Hello… SyFy Channel, Discovery, I think you have your next hire? A bubbly couple down on their luck happen to stumble on an offer of great proportions or let’s say cheap when they find the perfect apartment they can afford. Unbeknownst to the couple this little apartment house is home of a dark secret and few are left to talk about it as the tenants usually check in but never check out. As the longer they stay the more Cindy changes as this causes Chad to get to the bottom of the strange happenings and find out how there is a connection to an evil shark god that likes to feast on people in their tubs! This SOV throwback has everything from wall to wall gore, to Lynn Lowry, to human ritual sacrifices (sort of don’t want to give everything away), to a plumber that refuses to die, to a shark that has a dick?! You may believe you have seen every shark movie but there is no way in hell you could think of any more zanier or entertaining shark movie than Maddie Deering delivers here as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Black Circle (Blu-ray) – A 2019 film from Adrian Garcia Bogliano that is in Swedish I believe but has English subtitles and stars the great Christina Lindberg as Lena who plays a very important role. This story centers around two sisters Celeste and Isa who listen to an old self-help hypnosis album that is supposedly helping you relax. But from the first listen something very sinister is happening and causes the sisters to seek out the help from Lena Carlsson who recorded the album as a limited edition product that was an experiment. According to Lena an experiment that wasn’t meant for the world as it brings forth your double or doppelganger from the other side. This other you, follow you, and continue to suck life from you to survive in this new world and take over your existence. With the help of Lena they hope she is able to put them back together before the other them takes over? This film is all kinds of interesting, creepy, insane, and an excellent trippy experience into slow burn horror. With this Blu-ray from Synapse Films you get a CD soundtrack that will have fans absolutely delighted, commentary with Adrian Garcia Bogliano, trailer, a short film, behind the scenes of the film, and a great interview of Bogliano and Christina Lindberg. I can definitely see the younger horror crowd losing their shit over how good this movie is as I give the Blu-ray package 3 ½ out of 4 stars and found at www.synapse-films.com

The Blackening (On Demand) – A mostly black casted horror film that has one of the greatest taglines ever, has the cast heading to a cabin in the woods to celebrate Juneteenth holiday. The couple who rented the cabin find a board game that sets up the plot of the film where the black characters are forced to answer questions or die. As they are forced to play there is a masked character trying to kill them off one by one and they let the jokes fly that keeps the film moving at a crisp pace. I absolutely loved this film until about 45 minutes in as it was like the filmmaker ‘let off the gas’ until the last few minutes of the movie which is very culturally relevant and a solid entertaining horror movie. For me I just wish they would have kept the gas to the floor, but watch it, enjoy it, understand it as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Night of the Axe (DVD/YouTube) – First feature length film from Shawn Wright that features music from Matt (Hexercise) Cannon and it is a slasher so right away you have my attention good or bad. Our story begins with a very large mute man in an insane asylum where he decides to get up and begin a murder spree! But the small town doesn’t have the resources to track him down as had escaped weeks ago but also the young people of the town don’t care until now. Bulk of the film takes place in a home where the locals are having a small high school reunion party where they can get drunk, high, and bump uglies. I gotta give kudos to Mr. Wright for understanding “when to end the film”, giving Indy fans what they want, and keeping the first feature length formula simple. I found the pacing of the whole story a little choppy but still delivered on the blood and guts factor and most likely will have independent movie fans wondering “what’s next” for the second feature as I give this delight 3 out of 4 stars. 

Subspecies V: Blood Rise (Tubi/DVD) – Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou return to a fan favorite ‘Radu’ who was one their staples in the early days of Full Moon. This story tells the story of Radu shortly after being born is stolen by the church and grows to be a crusader who tracks down evil for a living. But Radu makes a mistake one evening rescuing a woman and her child believing there has been enough death and just coming face to face with his father/master. After several days of trying to help this woman and child, the woman is a vampire and bites Radu thus beginning Radu’s transformation into an evil vampire with no master who thrives on death and destruction. This was a wonderful edition to the “Subspecies” series and makes you wonder why Charles Band can’t get his shit together to make more projects like this that makes you nostalgic for the original Full Moon days but actually have hope of seeing some cool new shit from them. Old Full Moon fans like me will be actually delighted with this entertaining entry as I give it 3 stars.        

Worst Movie of the Year:

Honestly I didn’t want to pick another Chris Alexander film as my “worst” of the year as it would seem I am picking on his films but it just edged out Cocaine Shark from Mark Polonia. But I had too!

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Cryptids review!

1

Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #602

0

Let Us In! (DVD) – Filmmaker Anthony E. Moran out of Michigan has put together this interesting 61 minute film that is not only his second feature but a movie that deals with “The beginning of the end”. From the start of the opening credits that give off “Prince of Darkness” vibes the Indy film goes for the throat of not pissing around for laughs where two strangers cross paths with a motorcycle club “Satan’s Keys” who are looking for revenge at a stash house. Instead both parties find something a lot more pressing, disgusting, and deadly as a radio broadcasts a hint of possible lethal agent being released in the residential area and people should “Shelter in place.” Without giving too much away this film is gory, a great story to tell, excellent use of locations, and knew exactly when to end it! Mr. Moran and crew look like they might have a finger on the pulse of what Indy fans are craving and for that I give this entertaining goofest 3 out of 4 stars.

Tough (YouTube/DVD) – Here is an intriguing 20 minute short film out of Australia from the Von Claude Brothers (Bernie and Butch) who give you a man who wants to be something he is not. Now, he cannot deal with the pain of it. This can be seen a few ways: a) a drug fueled night in the life of a young man, b) going for some kind of art film, or c) complete and utter chaos of being disgusting for disgusting sake or some kind of shock value? This isn’t my cup of tea but know fans of August Underground, American Guinea Pig series, and even Faces of Death would most likely eat this up as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Emperor of the North (DVD) – This flick is for all of our dads… If you are a person over 35 most likely your dad had seen and liked this flick. From the same guy that did “The Dirty Dozen” comes this depression era flick about a hobo trying to catch a train and not die. Set in 1933, hoboes riding trains living their best life possible. But you don’t ride ‘Engine 19’ as you are taking your own life into your hands until one hobo known as “A-No.1” takes on this train that is run by Shack who will kill just so no hobo can ride his train and live to tell about it. Amazing cast: Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Keith Carradine, Sid Haig, and a host of others star in this film about two legendary people in 1933 that know at some point they are going to face off. This is one of those completely off the beaten path movies away from horror but a great story that just sucks you in as I give it 3 stars.

The Swabian Sawmill Massacre (Blu-ray) – Yes kids check another one of the “massacre” list as I got a hold of this two parter no budget German film. Apparently after a dude has his morning coffee, playing with shitty looking dead bodies and pushing shit into his arm with a syringe our mystery killer decides to head to the local sawmill and start a murder spree. After his first kill like Jason Voorhees he finds the mask that will define him, “A large Condom”! But it isn’t a German film until someone shows their dick and someone gets pissed on? After killing everyone our killer overdoses setting up the second part while on the autopsy table he returns to the living to restart his killing spree. But first he must sew his condom mask up, put it on, and make sure he has even a bigger body count. Both movies come in together around sixty minutes and SOV fans might enjoy these as the German films from Madman Maru have this early 90s Polonia feel as I give this title 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Assault on Precinct 13 (Blu-ray) – Once again I was upgrading my physical media and picked up this ‘Steelbook edition’ just so I could have a wonderful copy of Carpenter’s masterpiece of a ‘siege’ flick. There isn’t much to say about this great project other than you will see it as a modern day western or one of the greatest siege flicks ever put together. The extras were a little slim on this edition but I still couldn’t help myself as has an old interview with Carpenter at a theater in the early 2000s, his commentary which could be new but have listened too on the laserdisc version?, but there is a couple new interviews with cast members that if you are a fan like myself will give you butterflies talking about the film four decades later! Anyhow, the Blu-ray is one of those worth picking up if you see it on sale and need an upgraded edition like I did. Besides the picture and the music isn’t going to get any better at this point as they have done everything to make it look crisp, clean, and sound perfect as I give it 4 stars.

Gay for Pray: The Erotic Adventures of Jesus Christ (Blu-ray) – Another project from Nathan Rumler and Rock Bottom Video as they have just released the Blu-ray version of this earlier film that includes the uncut version with the cut version together for the first time. I highly recommend getting this Blu-ray as the uncut is 20 minutes longer and was only released for a very short time a few years ago so this is a great investment if you are a fan of Rock Bottom Video. Nathan not only proves he knows what he is doing but crafts an amazing independent film (we will get back to that in a minute) that stars a wonderful array of independent acting talent that brings to life one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Our story begins with Jesus supposedly being thrown out of heaven without his powers because he is “GAY”! He happens to visit a home of Adam, Steve, and Eve dressed as a wizard who wants to grant wishes if you suck his dick. Yep, you read that correctly and this is how the film opens! After trying the wizard gig Jesus comes clean to the three as one hates him, one believes in him, and the other just wants to have sex with Jesus even if it means dressing as a man? But anyway since the three got nothing better to do they try to help Jesus get his powers back when he isn’t explaining how he made the bible more family friendly. They try everything to help: social media, making water to wine, encountering protests, even trying to walk on water to prove he is Jesus and he deserves his powers back. But the entire ordeal is not completed until the last ten minutes happen: Jesus, chainsaw, protesters, gore, while The Rainbow Connection song (done by another band) happens. This ending should be one of the more celebrated Indy endings to a movie ever! If you are easily offended please watch this wonderfully entertaining film… Why? Because Nathan’s film is more relevant now than when he produced it five years ago. The dialogue is well crafted; the characters and those who played them were perfect. This movie is going to make some uncomfortable but I dare you to pay attention to the script, again the dialogue as it might be one of the best written scripts ever in my opinion as Nathan predicted what humanity is going to be like? I totally believe he caught exactly how humanity has become one big asshole in the past couple years with this movie. I know there are some detractors of “Fangboner” and “Amityville Vibrator” but I dare you to watch and not like “Gay for Pray” and laugh. Because if you don’t like it or get it just do me the favor of quit watching movies and shut up! Nathan and crew deserve not just our respect but our support as Nathan Rumler and crew are constantly trying to find ways to entertain through independent cinema and thank them as I give this film 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part III (Blu-ray) – Rocky Gray and a collection of other filmmakers are back to add to their anthology series that has become popular among independent horror fans. This anthology is a monster marathon hosted by Malvolia and has fake trailers with four tales of Halloween horror from Michael Ballif, Brad Twigg, Jacob Perrett, and Zane Hershberger. Now full disclosure yinz all know I seen Zane’s “Hack-in-the-box” last year and thought it was one of the best things I seen in 2022. So the other three had a lot to live up to and they did not disappoint. I am a huge fan of 10/31 series but always felt something was missing from the first two entries to make them complete if that makes sense? Well I can honestly say for me they got it right with this entry as all four stories fit together, fun to watch, and feels like this anthology is the best of the series and most likely will be one of my favorite films of 2023 as I give this entry 4 out of 4 stars. (P.S. the mummy entry made me have wonderful memories of the “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” and thank you).

Infinity Pool (DVD) – So Brandon Croenberg likes his father is now making movies that are truly bizarre and most likely made before their time? And this is no different as author James Foster and his girlfriend are on vacation at an island where the richest of the rich go to a perfect fenced-in resort (the town nearby is crime riddled, poor, and they hate foreign people). James and Em become friends with this intriguing couple that has Mia Goth a part of it. And besides just meeting people and wanting to do something with them James becomes attracted to Mia’s character immediately. Once talked into leaving the resort to enjoy themselves that is where the film gets super weird and not sure I can even do this film justice explaining what you watch next? After the author runs a local down with a car authorities come the next day looking for them and we go down a rabbit hole of basically a process of cloning but you are able to watch yourself getting killed in a horrible way. If that wasn’t enough or confusing James is now a part of this group of people or zombies because of his life-altering experience and they up their violent tendencies. Eventually James has had enough and when it ends it will leave you hanging in thought of what did you actual watch. The film is crazy, bizarre, and by the end of it I found Mia Goth’s character super annoying. Not sure if this is my cup of tea kind of film as I may have to revisit this in five years to truly understand it but for now I give it 2 stars?

The Munsters (DVD/Remake/Prequel) – So let’s get this out of the way first: I was an “Addams Family” person but never a huge “Munsters” fan but also know there has been several failed reboots of the “Munsters” over the years. So saying that and following Rob Zombie’s career this film only made sense at this time for him. This version isn’t so much a retelling of what we already know but a prequel to the TV show and how Lily and Herman met and moved to America. The film dives into Grandpa not liking Herman and trying everything to stop the monster from taking his little vamp girl from him. The movie is more for the fans of the show as Zombie made sure to hit on all the highlights of stories Lily and Herman tell about their early romance. I believe Rob Zombie did a great job bringing this to life but I think the only problem is the movie will cater to a certain audience as others won’t get it and this film will be forgotten soon as I give the film 2 ½ stars.    

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #597

0

2 Cool 2 Geek the Film (YouTube) – A no budget film that documents two guys (Old School and 50-K) who have a web series and these guys have gotten big enough Spike TV is gonna pick the show up. Spike TV arrives to start filming and follow these two around until their buddy of the show Youngblood is kidnapped and of course hijinks ensues. There are cops, way too many comic book conventions, talk of sex slaves, way too much Sonic the Hedgehog worship, a bat on a string, and a Swedish exchange kid that cannot wait to do cosplay. This project is from Craig Blake and Adam Stern, so if you have enjoyed such films as Doug Waugh’s “Trash Juice”, “The Wet Ones” from “Wig Wolf”, or Addison Binek’s “Magnum Opus: The Movie” this chaos will be up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Valentine Bluffs: My Bloody Valentine Fan Film (YouTube) – ‘Fan Film’… let’s start there because that to me is always gonna be a tough sell especially a sequel to horror fans’ favorite over the years and there was only one movie, never a sequel. I am not opposed, I might be old thinking on this, but I always felt when you do see that term your expectations are already lowered right or wrong as a viewer. Anyhow it has been 40 years since the original killings of Harry Warden/Axel and the town of Valentine Bluffs has spent a lot of time healing and not talking about the legend. But two things are happening that will possibly rip the town apart again as it has barely kept alive this long. First, is TJ and Sarah’s son is heading to the small town looking for his father and second is the mayor (Lloyd Kaufman) who has come up with a gimmick for the closed mine “Harry’s Bloody Attraction” that most are not too keen on the idea. As you watch the film, filmmaker Tom Smith (pretty much his first feature) tries to connect certain things to the original to keep fans interested. Once TJ’s kid comes rolling into town the small town murders begin to happen again and without giving too much away Tom Smith tries to give answers to what may have happen after the first film. Now I know there are some fans of this film already but this is how I seen it right or wrong it’s just an opinion. But here we go folks: I felt the pacing was off and the buildup to the end was slow. The production looked great, you had a location, but in my mind what you did in the last five to ten minutes of the movie should have been expanded or made more of the plot point of the film. Because I think you can’t get away from the ending of the first film without explaining what happen to Axel so it sucks fans in. Second, I understand the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman as the mayor but anymore he only brings humor and not a sense of seriousness to the role that I believe was key for this project to work. Clearly you had a mine location I just felt you should have used it more as the last five/ten minutes felt great compared to what came before it. Again why it will always be tough to do a project/sequel to such an iconic film “My Bloody Valentine” of horror fan lore, so let the hate mail role in but anyway if anything filmmaker Tom Smith has my attention as I am curious where he goes with his second or third feature length film as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.

Good Old Days (Dropbox) – A short film where we have a beautiful summer-like day for three young ladies to take a bike ride to the field of a drive-in. Enjoying a great time and wanting a picture of it they get something they weren’t looking for and that is a sadistic couple with video cameras! But the best scare yet to happen. The five minute short is too the point, professional, and the ending will make yinz savor the entertainment you just witnessed as I got to give Zane Hershberger’s and Bridget Murphy’s project 4 out of 4 stars.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 – (Full Moon) – We are introduce to the sorority that has been trying to get from under the past of the strange murders at the bowling alley with a new set of sorority sisters wanting or needing more pledges or the house charter will be taken away. Kelli Maroney the sorority mother tries to put a stop to any thinking of the young ladies doing something stupid but they do it anyway as the sorority sisters and pledges head to the bowling alley to once again steal the bowling trophy. Remember it is about tradition so they are trying to restore it by unleashing the evil imp again! It’s cheesy, stupid fun, and has a few fun cameos. Is it the original B-movie madness some of us nuts loved 30-some years ago, probably not but they were smart to not reinvent the concept and go with what works as new Full Moon fans should enjoy this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doppelganger (YouTube) – A Matt Diulus short film that deals with a man that falls into his dream world meeting another version of himself. What sets this idea a part from some others that might sound familiar is the music as it sets the tone for what happens as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Victim No More – A Friday the 13th Tribute Film (YouTube) – Written and directed by a person some Indy fans may know from Ramsteer Films from several years ago, Bob Heckman. In this project Mr. Heckman tackles of course the Jason Voorhees legend. A young man Robbie who is talking to his therapist wanting to prove to his mother that Jason is long dead along with the Camp Crystal Lake serial killer legend. All Robbie wants is to put this behind him and be able to live a normal family life as his mother was a survivor of these Camp Crystal Lake bloodbaths many years ago. Meanwhile a young couple is exploring the woods in search of the legendary stomping grounds of Jason believing he has been long gone since 1984 (if you are listening to their conversation). But to the surprise of all three the ghost of Jason is very much alive and still stalks these woods. I gotta give Mr. Heckman credit for the cast, a solid story, and of course the location and keeping this fan film at 40 minutes. Really felt it didn’t allow the film to get dull. To be honest I am surprised there haven’t been more real attempts of this universe by fans? Now is there something for me to pick at, yes, but they are small things: What happens at the end (without spoiling it) thought there could have been a little more subplot there to sprinkle in but that would have made the film much longer. Also Jason… love the look (Part 6 undead/part seven rotting Jason) but felt like a much bigger person or more opposing person (CJ Graham perhaps) should have been in the suit. Overall Mr. Heckman had a budget to check off everything a “Friday the 13th” would want from a fan film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Curious to see if an idea like this would cross over into a bigger Hollywood budgeted version of “Friday the 13th” or will we always stay in limbo with projects like this?

Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available is I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

Results (YouTube) – A short film project from Austin Muratori that has a young man dealing with some depressing and shitty medical news. Without talking to family first this man makes a heartbreaking decision. There is a small twist in this depressing, effective, good short film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Half a Mind (YouTube) – A cautionary tale of futuristic brain surgery and what good or bad can come of it. The short film looks wonderful and a great setup or trailer for a feature length film that all was missing was Rutger Hauer in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the background of the dinner scene as I give this Buzz Meade short 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2022” list

0

(There were actually a lot of good films this year as many as bad films… Hell I literally could have done a list of “worst of 2022” but let’s stick with the best for now as there may be a surprise or two in there also as I made sure I listed the honorable mentions.)

1) Crimes of the Future (On Demand) – David Cronenberg, I love you for not giving up the fight of making something that people will have trouble ten years from now wrapping their brains around this wonderful piece of filmmaking. This filmmaker is one of a kind and he proves it again as he dives into body horror of the future where the human body is changing and of course the government wants to know why and track it. “Surgery is the new sex” and all comes back to human evolution and what is considered wrong as the film centers on two characters are performance artists who use their bodies in a unique way. But just when you think you have the film figured out it gets turned sideways… again. Try to review this without giving too much away for the mere reason I want people to see this and form their own opinion about it as I know there is a good chance this film will be in my ‘top three films of 2022’ as I give it 4 stars. Favorite quote of the film comes from Viggo as he says to Kristen Stewart, “I am not good at the old sex?” Watch it and you’ll understand…

2) Hack-in-the-Box (Dropbox) – Holy mother F’N balls kids! This perfect short film from Zane Hershberger (see me in person to listen to me destroy his name with my Yinzer accent) has four bad ass women preparing to take on an unknown demonic force from a music box. To their horror what comes for them they couldn’t have prepared enough! As this old school blend of ‘Evil Dead’ and “Empire Pictures” project would make a young Sam Raimi blush then sign Zane to a multi-picture deal to his production company! What is Hollywood’s loss is the independent community’s gain because Zane, the actresses involved, and crew behind them should be all Hollywood bound as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and the early front runner on my “Best of 2022 list”.

3) Glorious (Shudder) – In the vein of finding horror films that have no right being this good I dare you to go watch what I believe will be in my “Top 5 films of 2022”. We are given the character Wes who is in a bad place in his life after a break up with the girlfriend. Confused, depressed, partying around a fire by himself at a rest stop off the highway, (I enjoyed the scene of him breaking his cell phone). Next morning Wes heads into the bathroom to take care of things which after he finds himself talking to an evil glory hole! Here Wes and a god try to hash things out about saving the world as we know it. The movie is so simple and fun you will be surprised how much you will enjoy this very smart horror film as I give it 4 stars all the way!

4) Deadstream (Shudder) – Shawn is an internet influencer who faces his fears and streams it. Immediately I am already annoyed this movie is gonna be dumb, lazy, and a waste of my time. But I was super wrong as Joseph Winter aka Shawn who is also a co-director and co-writer of the film plays one of the biggest douchebags in film perfectly. Shawn explains after some trouble six months back and losing all of his online sponsors he is back for one big streaming show. He is going to face his fear of ‘GHOSTS’ as he is going to explore and stay the night in a notorious haunted home called “Death Manor”. This will all stream live as Shawn goes through, set up cameras, and makes sure his fans call him out if he tries to flee the house. As Shawn sets up everything in the home he goes over the house’s paranormal history and the stories of those who died here. Shawn being the scared douchebag he is almost leaves several times from noises, etc. This is after he breaks a very important drawing in a closet and then runs into superfan Chrissy and this where this entertaining as hell horror film won me over big time as it takes another unexpected turn? Without spoiling too much the film finds a way to give you a splash of “Evil Dead”, talk cancel culture, a couple jump scares, give a wonderful hated douchebag character, and do a lot of kick ass practical effects!  Not only is this one of the best horror films of 2022 this makes me look forward to what Joseph Winter and Vanessa Winter have in store next for horror fans as they rock as I give this movie 4 stars and you will hear me talking about it again at the end of the year!

5) Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. 

6) The Sadness (Shudder) – Honestly I don’t know if more can be said about this wonderful virus infection flick from Taiwan other than it will be on my “Best of 2022 list”. The pandemic is the backdrop and the virus has yet mutated again according to background news reports that like most of us we are not paying attention. But this mutation is different as those who are sick soon go into a fit of rage, rape, murder, and even a little cannibalism. As most of the population has lost its mind two young lovers try to navigate the city to find each other again! But what separates this “The Crazies” type of film from a lot of horror films is the violence, gore, the madness ramps up as the film goes along. When one crazy thing happens, give it ten minutes and you get to see something even more nutzoid! The film was wonderful, beautiful and played just right but funny thing and this is just me nit picking at shit but I can honestly say I wanted let’s just say a little happier ending without spoiling the fun? Anyway I still give this horror flick 4 stars and must see for horror fans this year. 

7) Curse of the Queerwolf (DVD) – This 1988 no budget film is about Larry who is just a normal guy who when he hangs out with his best friend goes screwing around with random women. Then one night Larry learns the hard way things are not what it all looks like when a transvestite bites him on the ass! Now Larry is losing his mind because he is having nightmares of wearing women’s clothes and physically changing. Luckily for Larry he almost kills a gypsy with his car and she tries to help him out because there is somehow a full moon every night. And if he doesn’t take her help he could always insert a silver sex toy to end the curse? First, this was one of those films I have always wanted to check out and finally had a reason too and so glad I did because it is so ahead of its time. Second, now saying that I can easily see people’s heads exploding when watching this film and taking it out of context? It is smart, funny, and entertaining as I give it 4 stars as this film should be more celebrated.

8) Accident Man (DVD) – Scott Adkins 2018 film and possibly one his best to date that has Scott playing a hitman named Mike Fallon who makes his hits look like an accident. Things are good for Mike as he is paid well to make things look like an accident until he gets a call about his ex-girlfriend has died but things don’t add up as Mike finds out a few details. Mike quickly looks into the death and finds not only was a hit put out on her but she was pregnant with his child. Blaming himself Mike wants answers but his teacher Ray Stevenson has always said “Don’t get involved”. Mike breaks this rule immediately and after several bad ass fight scenes finds out he has been set up and her hit was ordered by his boss Milton! This not your average hitman action flick and I dare you to watch and not say this isn’t possibly one of the best Adkins starring flicks out there as I give it 4 stars.

9) A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

10) Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Worst film of 2022

(Horrorhound and the people thinking doing another Jeepers Creepers flick should be ashamed of themselves. Also fun fact: Jeepers Creepers is the first franchise to have two entries into the Gross Movie Reviews “Worst Movie of the Year”)

Jeepers Creepers Reborn (On Demand) – AKA part 4 aka the biggest fucking turd of 2022 for horror movie fans! Yes look no further than this crap storm for “worst film of 2022”. Anyhow its 23rd day of the 23rd Spring of whatever who actually gives a flying farthole all you need to know the monster aka a horrible grainy Playstation online game has come to life! Once what could be a great monster is now a poor excuse for a reboot not once but twice with this one being propped up by lets say an “unnamed shitty convention” but lets stick with the crappy film. This time around a young couple traveling to an outdoor horror festival that celebrates killers is set near the ‘urban legend’ of the “Creeper”. Hell, for shits and giggles they claim the first three films are fake to help propped up this so-called pile of elephant shit! Anyhow winners of the “Creeperfest” win a chance at the ‘Creeper Escape room’ at that the legendary house. The only thing going for this monkey turd is the townsfolk is in on the “Creeper legend” but while all yinz whine about the newest “Halloween” flick just remember this already forgotten cartoon poo got shit out there in the viewing universe as I give it nothing and will be my pick for “Worst film of 2022!”

Honorable mentions – (A lot of cool flicks that you may have heard of but haven’t seen or a few that you never knew existed but wanted to put them out there for yinz… These are no particular order)

Amityville Christmas Vacation (www.stevebuster.com) – That famous holiday/horror/love story plot has finally come to the Amityville series (entry #39 for those who are counting) in the form of Steve Rudzinski’s (Caroushell 1 & 2 fame) latest project. A familiar character from the “Steve Universe or Meowy Universe” in the form of Wally Griswold has won a random Christmas vacation trip to Amityville! Wally arrives at a bed and breakfast in Amityville that is the “second most famous haunted house” where a ghost named Jessica kills all who stay there. But this time it’s different as it the happiest time of the year, it is Christmas! And Wally and Jessica are having the time of their lives this holiday season. But there is an evil plan behind all of this and none of it had a ghost and a clueless detective falling in love in Amityville on Christmas? Move over Mark Polonia, Dustin Ferguson, Thomas J. Churchill, and Shawn C. Phillips just to name a few as Steve gives not just an entertaining entry into the endless series but hilarious entertaining energy of a story that will make you laugh out loud a few times. Steve’s intelligence behind the camera and his extremely talented cast not just poke fun at the series but also give the never dying series a watchable entry for the first time in several years as I have to give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Hell Van (DVD) – Jorge Delarosa spent almost five years and $5000 putting this passion project together.  If there is anyone that is talented enough to tackle Satanic shit in independent films and not get lost a quarter of the way through, it would be the talented Jorge Delarosa. The setting is a small town called Midway, Texas where everyone knows everyone. After a suspect accused of church burnings burns a church full of kids goes on the run and commits suicide in his van bizarre events begin to happen. Anyone that approaches or is connected to this possessed van die a very horrible death and only Sheriff Redhorse can stop this madness! Mr. Delarosa doesn’t just make a typical possessed car film but tackled it to the ground with such force that the film comes off as Mr. Delarosa shows off how talented he is behind the camera in all forms. We have explosions, burning people, eyeballs being ripped out, zombies, interesting characters you care about, chaotic satanic images to help tell the story, and the music is just the icing on the cake (music is usually forgotten in Indy films not understanding it can enhance the viewing experience). If you didn’t know what I already knew you will after watching this satanic blessing of filmmaking that Mr. Delarosa is an independent filmmaking force that needs more attention. And his latest film is a wonderful blend of Satan, horror, and blood without losing its way of telling a story as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as ‘Hell Van’ will be a favorite among independent horror fans for years to come. 

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Black Phone (On Demand) – I enjoy being late to films and social media unless its “V.F.W.” remember who told you that film was bad ass but anyway I finally found myself watching this new Ethan Hawke (aka maybe the new Rutger Hauer?) film. The film is set in 1978 Denver, where a serial killer or kidnapper nicknamed the “Grabber” is grabbing kids under 18 years old over a several month period. Finney and his sister Gwen talk about it but don’t think about it too much until Finney’s best friend gets snatched and Gwen has a dream about where the kid might be? From there it isn’t too long before Finney is grabbed by the “Grabber” who wears several faces and keeps him in a soundproof basement. The “Grabber” is fascinated by Finney as he doesn’t play the games with him the other victims did as Finney begins to talk into a disconnected black phone where it is the past victims trying to help? I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this flick after watching the trailer and seeing what others have said but I got to say I was pleasantly surprised with this horror/thriller and definitely give it my approval to all of yinz to give it a watch as I give it 3 stars.

Helsinki Mansplaining Massacre (On Demand) – An interesting 15 minute short film concerning a couple who is in a car accident and rescued by a group of men. But rescued is used loosely here. These men’s egos bruise easily as they all believe men are superior and women are only good for housework and breeding. Now Essi is just trying to survive these morons and trying to escape a bad relationship. It’s hilarious, it’s fun, and relevant as I give it 3 stars.

Trash Removal (DVD) – Rising star Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering has had her latest released onto an anthology “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2”. This fun short film has a group of individuals picking up trash in the woods near by an old chemical spill for community service. It doesn’t take too long for this boring day of community service to be interrupted by a killer trash monster! Hilarious characters get destroyed quickly by the cheeseball monster which this short film easily feels like a lost SOV title you would find on the dusty shelves of your favorite independent video store ‘insert name here’ in 1992 next to a “Cannibal Campout” or “The Slayer” where alphabetical order didn’t matter like in the one I went at that time! Fun times with Maddie as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this project that can be found on “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2” at www.sovhorror.com .

Hellraiser (Hulu) – The new entry of the series has the puzzlebox, the chains, the music, the pain, the pleasure… okay horror kids I am in as this entry of the Cenobites went out there on a limb and gave fans what they wanted… “A one-off that made actual fucking sense, wasn’t non-sense, a piece of shit only done for movie rights issues, or had FAT PINHEAD!” Anyhow a woman named Ry still fighting her addiction to drugs accidentially begins to solve the puzzlebox and opens a doorway that scares her but also intrigues her of how this thing exists why people would be interested? After losing her brother to the box she become consumed with solving the box to bring him back as if you are able to go through all the phases you are able to “get an audience with GOD”. But while deep into this takes her and friends down a dark path of pain and pleasure they are not ready to experience… This is the best entry since Part 3 and it was nice it felt like it tried giving what fans have wanted for over two decades now as I give this entry 3 stars and hope there is more?

Werewolf by Night (Disney Plus) – First I believe this caught some horror fans by surprise this was made and taken seriously. Based on some comics this film takes a stylish approach of making it look old school which worked out well in my opinion from the actors to the werewolf itself. But the center of the film is the “Master of the Bloodstone” has died and there is a gathering of monster hunters to have a chance to lay claim to this stone which pretty much means royalty. Out of this group of death dealers if they survive and slay the creature that is in the maze they can lay claim to the stone but not all are who or what they seem as there is a werewolf among them. Who is the hero, who is the villain? It’s a fun quick 50 something minute movie that was a lot of fun for me to watch as I give it 3 stars.

Grand Samurai: A Warrior’s End (Extended Cut – Blu-ray) – So I felt it was time to sit down and watch Dan Komarek’s epic five hour film. Yes folks, “The Ninja Master” weren’t enough abuse knowing I would watch this bullshit this talented jagoff Mr. Komarek released this fucking shit! Anyhow I thought like most reviews I would try to give you the basics but not this epic film I thought I needed to share my notes as written when watching this thing last Sunday morning that led into my afternoon. Dan decided there needed to be a movie with more walking than ‘Lord of the Rings’ ever could film so eat your heart out Peter Jackson. Back to the film as it opens up very promising with this huge ‘Conan-esque’ beginning talking about a thousand years ago and now… then immediately let down with two dudes showing up on screen whatever their parents allowed them to wear that autumn weekend to shoot? You expect costumes, swords, huge swords… Nope, Dan laughs in the face of being reasonable. We get a little backstory between Paul and Lee which Paul has to train to become a samurai. Which first question that will hit your mind “Yinz know yinz are white more out of shape than I am?” But hey kids let’s not a bad idea get in the way of making a bad film as they begin to walk, then walk a little more, then walk a little more only to decide they will go on journeys for a sword and a tournament that isn’t really clarified but then walk some more. This is where Paul (yes there will be a samurai named… Paul) goes on his four or so hour journey movie time of training. If there isn’t endless narration be the Lee character aka Dan Komarek where he clearly had a tummy tuck at some point between filming there is more walking and what I feel was an hour of “In Memoriam” segment for someone I don’t know? But then it got real interesting when ‘real time filming’ by Dan Komarek happens as he films himself basically taking a spill into a raging river when misjudging some rocks to cross it just to do a random sword fight scene oh excuse me a stick fight! At one point during the first hour or two of walking it seems like the camera isn’t filming as much as stalking the Paul character who by the way is still training and looking for his friend Lee. Then when Paul cannot go any further he drops to the forest ground to start humping the ground which I read into the subtext of ‘humans raping the world’ but that can be debated another time. But hey did I mention there is a book on how to be a samurai that is introduced into the film an hour in as when approaching the 75 minute mark we get the ‘final fight’. Why do I know this? The characters only announced this several times as they try and I mean try to somersault their way off of picnic benches. But just shortly after if not paying attention we do gets bootleg Richard Moll from “Sword and the Sorcerer” sending Paul yet on another quest for a sword. So about 88 minutes they are informed this sword they are on a journey for is a sword for a tournament to end all tournaments and we haven’t even gotten to the first one. If you need a laugh the scene ends with the neighbor’s dog attacking someone off screen in the background. So as they keep walking again the two find a village where they sleep for a month (don’t ask) again this leaves the Paul character alone as he mourns for his heterosexual life mate Lee. Then there is more walking… inner monologue… more walking… Paul walks through all four seasons through the same patch of woods. Then 129 minutes in Paul gets fucked up on a snowy tree stump and instead of Dan putting down the camera he still films Paul now limping instead of walking, clearly injured… (but, it’s for the art man!)  Literally that was the point I waiting for the Benny Hill music to start as it followed a limping Paul through the snow. After more walking about the 145 minute mark we get to hear Dan Komarek directing the movie while doing a couple lines of dialogue in the mouth of a cave or I like to think a sewer pipe? With more walking comes more training and at the 165 minute mark I begin to wonder if the journey isn’t for a sword but for the two come to grips with their love for each other? I come to this conclusion as the two come to a beach in their long journey and gazing at each other while plotting on them doing more walking through the woods. Which shortly after this the filmmaker has the balls of putting an intermission in, DUDE, how about ending this fucking movie already! After regretting that there was an intermission our heroes at the 170 minute mark are back from their love fest at the beach and most likely smoking weed only to walk more. They keep saying they must finish the journey so of course there is more walking this when I notice and have come up with a drinking game those three people like me who crazy enough to watch this film to completion. Now for yinz three paying attention: every time Paul has his ninja suit on or putting it back on, drink a beer for every different shirt you see the Paul character wearing underneath? You will be drunk and that is better than watching this film again, again anyway, nine minutes I am completely convinced the film has nothing to do with samurais but two young dudes taking the long way around of just saying they love each other but just cannot find the courage to say it. At the 191 minute mark after walking more Paul lays on the ground and looks to the night sky accepting he will only be complete with his life partner Lee who has disappeared again. Finally about the 215 minute mark we finally are getting to the climax of the film as a horrible unfinished fight scene happens as minutes later Paul loses Lee as he was killed by a Chevy Corsica fender they randomly found in the creek they ran across. More walking happens and at the 248 minute mark is when Paul and Lee (who has died twice, I think) are reunited and receives the sword which the fuckers never get to be in a tournament! And what is this fucking Dan Komarek ends this fucking “EPIC” with a ‘to be continued’… WTF dude! Dan I love you brother, I think you are a fine editor and cinematographer but stop digging this absurd bullshit up and make something new. You have the talent to do it so give me a break as this epic is epic I cannot even give it a rating as much dare someone to watch it all the way through like I did so I am not the only psycho.

Terrifier 2 (Theater) – Art the Clown is back and brutal as ever but after doing some laundry and mysteriously reappearing after the end of the first film Art is back on the street stalking victims. The filmmaker absolutely keeping Art a mystery is able to expand the clown’s universe but never really explaining it. Meanwhile, Jonathon and Sienna have lost their father recently and Jonathon has recently become obsessed with Art the Clown while Sienna is just trying to get out being normal. This sets up a wonderful family interaction but also a weird connection between Art, the murders, and (spoiler alert) Art being some kind of supernatural cannibal! I loved the first film and this one did not disappoint in its brutality and gore but what I think holds it back just a tiny bit is its 2 hour and 18 minute running time as I can only give it 3 ½ stars. Honestly wasn’t thrilled with the film minutes after watching it but I let set in and I love it just didn’t need the “Avengers cut”?

Blood, Guts, and Sunshine: The History of Horror Made in Florida (Blu-ray) – A documentary that tackles the rich history of independent filmmaking in the state of Florida and how it has produced several Indy gems over the years from several talented individuals. Sean Donohue puts together the usual great doc that talk: Creature from the Black Lagoon to Bob Clark to Tim Ritter to Stanley to H.G. Lewis to Joel D. Wynkoop. Donohue is able to give the world a lot of inside stuff most fans may not know about and like most documentaries they can start to repeat conversations if left long enough but just when you think it’s over? It isn’t and it is actually kind of a shock about 80 or so minutes in at what one person’s opinion of the Florida filmmaking scene is… I give Mr. Donohue credit for leaving this in and getting others comments about this after it is said. As usual to some Sean and company might be an acquired taste among horror fans but to me they are some talented people down there in that sunshine state as I give this documentary 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (Shudder) – Oh “VFW” dude (Joe Begos) is back! And this time horror fans get a horror holiday treat where Tori and her employee/longtime friend Robbie have had one hell of a day at the record store on Christmas Eve. Now it’s time to party and hang with their two friends down the street at the toy store to party a little but that is where the happy holiday celebration ends… The realistic robotic Santa Claus that greets you at the store doorway is being recalled for malfunctioning. See these robotic Santa’s were used as military weapons for the government and they are going back to their original missions which why the recall. When it comes to life it is complete chaos for Tori and the sleepy little town as it becomes a combo of “Terminator” and “Class of 1999” meets Santa Claus! It starts a little slow but I get it as Begos and crew like actually telling a story where you care about the characters but it eventually becomes a gory holiday mess of a film! I might not be as good as “VFW” for me at least but I still give this holiday horror 3 ½ stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #560

0

Gross Movie Reviews #560

Final Impact (DVD) – While on my search for more “massacre” and “Amityville” flicks I came across this forgotten B-action gem from 1991 starring Lorenzo Lamas and the lovely Kathleen Kinmont. Lamas plays a miserable drunk Nick Taylor who use to be a kickboxing champion three years before but now just feels sorry for himself as he runs a strip club. A young and upcoming kid named Danny visits Taylor before his trip to Vegas to fight the long standing champion Jake. With only Nick’s help can this kid survive a fight with Jake? Fun direct-to-video stuff for the action movie ‘Carnosaur’ as I give it 2 ½ stars.

100 Degrees Below Zero (DVD) – As usual I tripped over another Asylum film that stars or I should wastes the talents of Jeff Fahey and John Rhys-Davies. This absurd flick deals with a few global events that cause mass panic as Paris begins to freeze! Majority of the film is Jeff Fahey and wife trying to get their rich twenty-something kids out of Paris before the next Ice Age. Sometimes Asylum, not making a movie can be a good idea also as I give this waste of my time 0 stars.

Crystal Lake Memories (Shudder) – Hey ‘Friday the 13th’ fans you have 6 ½ hours to waste and need Corey Feldman to guide you? Well here is your answer with this ultimate documentary that covers everything about the movie series as I give it 4 stars. (Which by the way those folks that dropped a hundred or $150 on the box set recently understand you still didn’t get the uncut version of Part 7: The New Blood?)

Reunion Massacre (Tubi) – This more recent Indy flick is also known as ‘Invitation to Die’. Not totally sure why this one had two different titles but anyhow it did fall under my “massacre” category so I know I had to watch it… at least once. A young woman gets an invite to her 10 year high school reunion and decides to go even though she is warned by a random old carnival fortune telling machine. Along the way and once in the structure she and others are stalked by a mysterious man in a clown mask! This film left me with so many questions:

A) Why did this young lady have to put up Halloween decorations before she went to this so-called reunion?

B) Is the clown mask from the ‘Camp Blood’ films which are a whole other bag of dumplings that I will get into more someday?

C) Was that the same Zoltar machine from ‘Big’ with Tom Hanks or were you just trying to find one that looked like it?

D) This home/building/school that is clearly under some kind of construction or destruction that was built in the middle of nowhere like the school for ‘Slaughter High’. How didn’t the whole movie take place there because that was a movie in itself?

E) Why does film like it was two different short films cobbled together because the second half of the film didn’t make much sense if the woman dreamt all of this but also the second half felt like it was tacked on or edited in just to justify feature length which is something that can be debated for years what justifies “feature length”?

Anyhow, wasn’t a big fan of the film as it left me with way too many questions but the honest big pet peeve was the ending as it goes out with a whimper as I give it 1 star (you get one star just for this random remote building and you made me invoke the great slasher film ‘Slaughter High’).

Hack-in-the-Box (Dropbox) – Holy mother F’N balls kids! This perfect short film from Zane Hershberger (see me in person to listen to me destroy his name with my Yinzer accent) has four bad ass women preparing to take on an unknown demonic force from a music box. To their horror what comes for them they couldn’t have prepared enough! As this old school blend of ‘Evil Dead’ and “Empire Pictures” project would make a young Sam Raimi blush then sign Zane to a multi-picture deal to his production company! What is Hollywood’s loss is the independent community’s gain because Zane, the actresses involved, and crew behind them should be all Hollywood bound as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and the early front runner on my “Best of 2022 list”.

Body Melt (DVD) – If you don’t have enough “body horror” in your life there is this Australian gooey cult classic where people of Peebles Court, Homesville are actually an experiment. A man from Vimuville Health Farm grows a conscious and wants to warn the people they are guinea pigs for a new drug that speeds up human decomposition but was supposedly gonna be another health drug but goes horribly wrong. This man Ryan is killed but sets forth a series of events that baffles authorities as the residents of this area begin to die rapidly in horrible ways. Weird, Australian, gooey, yep, I am watching every time as I give it 3 stars. 

The Cellar (VHS/YouTube) – One of my favorite actors in Patrick Kilpatrick stars in this late 80s film where he and family (The Cashen family) moves into an old desert home that is on cursed land. Apparently back in the day Native Americans were pissed at white people and cursed the land where an evil spirit in a basement creature will devour any white people that live there. The young Cashen boy discovers this monster early on but no one believes him until he devises a plan to blow the fucker up! Nowhere near a perfect flick but it has a monster, cursed land, white people are assholes, and Patrick Kilpatrick so I will always check something like this out as I give it 2 stars.

Exterminator 2 (Blu-ray) A couple years go by and Richard Ginty still has the itch to kill all criminals and make sure people still remember ‘The Exterminator’! This time around a young street gang led by a very young looking Mario Van Peebles wants to take over the city’s drug trade and then take over the city itself by killing and raping one person at a time. But Ginty, a large garbage truck, and a flamethrower are fucking up every gang member that follows Peebles character. Not as good as the first film but still worth tracking down for a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars. Look for Irwin Keyes playing a small role as one of the gang members also. Note: I now believe Shout Factory has put out this title out on DVD in a 4-pack.Update: a review published in one of my older books (never posted on the website) so I am just reposting the review. But the big thing is the 4-pack from Shout Factory is out of print but there is a new Blu-ray for us fans. Great picture quality and a commentary but that is about it on any extras you ever gonna get for this Cannon Group sequel. The film doesn’t nearly have the impact of the original but the music is enough nostalgia to make you buy the Blu-ray and enjoy the Ginty one more time.

Death Train (DVD/TV movie/internet) – An Australian 70s TV flick that stars a pre-Mad Max Hugh Keays-Byrne as an insurance investigator who strolls into a small town to investigate Mr. Cook’s somewhat mysterious death. Supposedly Mr. Cook was killed by a train that hasn’t existed for decades. As Morrow finds answers he is actually finding himself asking more questions as all the residents of this small area talk about this ghost train. The flick is a fun light-hearted mystery that shows off the acting chops of Hugh Keays-Byrne as after you see this film it only makes sense why he was so perfect as “Toe-cutter” in one of the best post-apocalyptic films ever ‘Mad Max’. I give this fun mystery ghost train film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #512

0

Gross Movie Reviews #512

 

Curse of the Blind Dead (DVD) – Many years ago these Knight Templars are holding a ritual that includes a pregnant woman and a symbol that is not about God. The ritual is so rudely interrupted by some God-fearing villagers and the Templars are of course blinded and sentenced to death! It’s now present day Eye-talian apocalypse and a man and daughter are traveling through the woods trying to get to a location that claims salvation? They are jumped by a few marauders but saved by some very serious weirdo survivors that say, “Come to our community.” Soon they find out the weirdo priest and survivors that follow him want the unborn child from the daughter because they are preparing for the ritual of the Templars. Oh by the way the Templars back years ago claim they were trying to stop the apocalypse? Bad news the father cuts his thumb off to get out of some cuffs and save his daughter and escape, the other baby that was for the ritual is still-born, and the blind zombie Templars are now pissed! A gory mess happens as they massacre the community as the daughter gets away and eventually finds the salvation they were looking for only to understand there is no escaping the Templars prophecy. First, this isn’t a remake, reboot, or whatever just some folks that were fans of the series. Second, I am not a fan of the original series but glad I gave this one a chance because I like the whole post-apocalyptic storyline and tying it in with the Templars. Not all the effects are great but I was surprisingly happy with this feature and hope there is another soon as I give it 3 stars.

Marley’s Revenge The Monster Movie (VHS) – A super low budget film that was released sometime in 1989 that centers around two gentlemen trying to illegally get two relatives into the country. But the two dudes are mistaken for drug smugglers by the local rednecks and leaving them for dead on an island. Of course this doesn’t go as planned as Marley one of the two relatives on the island that are trying to get into the U.S. loses his shit and conjures a dinosaur and an army of zombies! This sets up the rest of the film where the two gentlemen are trying to escape the island in hilarious fashion by going by an “Africa Dan” book. Watch the movie the Africa Dan part is hilarious as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Sea Fever (On Demand) – An Irish student of Marine Biology is urged to take a trip on a fishing vessel to get her hands dirty in her field by her professor. Once out on the water searching for its next catch the boat hits something mysterious. The something is a large creature with tentacles that stay connected to the boat as the crew panics slightly they are able to get loose. But then strange things begin to happen to the crew as they are becoming infected with something, a parasite. Now they fight among each other as they slowly die whether they should go back to port and expose everyone else? It’s a slow burn film that is neither bad or good more like meh as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Hanukkah (DVD) – It opens up with a man on December 8, 1993 who has slaughtered people during the “Festival of Lights” or Hanukkah but never got to finish. 36 years go by and someone has decided to pick up the killing spree during the Jewish holiday. Some Jewish friends who are not exactly celebrating the Jewish holiday become the targets of this sadistic killer. ‘Hanukkah’ has a wonderful cast to kill for but this holiday horror film is such a misstep as it drags on too long and I was expecting more from the crew behind it. Also there are weird delays during dialogue and a few important scenes that don’t exactly make a lick of sense? Super disappointed with the film and another example of you can have an all-star cast but that doesn’t mean you’ll have an all-star movie as I give it a ½ star.

 

The Las Vegas Serial Killer (DVD) – Always enjoy checking out a cheesy Ray Dennis Steckler feature. This time around Cash Flagg has a story about a man (John Glick) who six years ago couldn’t stop himself from strangling women on the strip. Mr. Glick gets released from prison in present day 1987 as the parole board claims lack of evidence for putting him behind bars. Of course it doesn’t take long for John to go back to his bad habit. But what is kind of funny there is two random dudes who decided to drive to Vegas to stalk some women who are getting the blame for the recent killings. After lots of stock footage John Glick gets his in the end when he runs into the two weirdos during another purse snatching! Yes, I know Steckler’s movies can be in bad taste and the full of stock footage but there is always a certain charm to his work and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

City of Vampires (DVD) – A film from early on in filmmaker Ron Bonk’s career about vampires. This S.O.V. film takes place in a small city of Braddock where the population has dropped dramatically in the past three years. A young man named Sam heads to the broken down town of Braddock looking for his girlfriend and answers to her disappearance. Once there he soon understands what the problem is and it is vampires as they drinking the population dry. Sam must survive the night if he wants answers gets help when he stumbles into a fortified home owned by Max. The young woman Max refuses to leave and fights the vamps every night. Sam must defeat the leader of vamps named Legion in order to get his girlfriend back but this isn’t gonna be easy, but Max is more than willing to help with her stash of weapons. No budget, some bad acting, but still some fun for S.O.V. nerds that wanna check out one of the first things Mr. Bonk ever made as I give it 2 stars.

 

Fatal Games (DVD) – Falcon Academy of Athletics is a school for some of the best athletes who are trying to make it to the Olympics. After the latest competition where the school did very well the students begin training for Nationals. But someone wearing a dark track suit and a javelin begins killing the young people. There is a weird steroid and synthetic drugs storyline to try to give the film depth but you won’t get over the javelin hits people like it came out of a harpoon gun! This film isn’t good by any means but this slasher is for people like me that need to see that hidden 80s film at least once just because as I give it 1 star.

 

I’m God (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst is back at it again with another short film that runs about 8 ½ minutes long. The plot is about a man who believes he is God and claims he got bored in heaven and came to live among humanity. But a doctor refuses to believe causing issues for supposed God. I really liked the concept and I know Mr. Brocklehurst does some great work with his short film projects. This is one project I would have liked to see him flesh out a little more as there seem to be more story to tell about this character as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Peninsula (On Demand) – So we got a sequel to the wonderful zombie film ‘Train to Busan’, the film picks up four years later. Any bordering country has a blockade up and does not allow anyone to enter South Korea because of the viral outbreak. A former soldier like a lot of misplaced Koreans lives in Hong Kong and down on his luck. A shady dude he does things for gives the ex-soldier a mission of entering the zombie-infested peninsula for a truck that has 25 million U.S. dollars in the back of it safely waiting. If he retrieves it he is rich, if not he is most likely zombie food as the zombies still roam the area. Without spoiling too much I will describe the film has elements that cross between ‘Land of the Dead’ and ‘Escape from New York’ but keeps the heart of the first film. Wonderful zombie stuff again horror fans as this fast-paced sequel pleases me much so that there could be another entry into this series like ‘REC’?! I give the bad ass international zombie movie 4 stars all the way.

 

In Search of Darkness: A Journey into the Iconic 80s Horror (Shudder) – Another great documentary about 80s horror of course. But this one is 4 ½ hours long as it breaks down 1980 to 1989 with different writers, filmmakers, etc. as they dip their toes into sub-genres of horror and what made the decade so much fun. I am glad Shudder got a hold of this for a lot of us horror fans to check because that $50 price tag everyone saw early on was just not gonna happen. Some of the stories have been told before but there are still a few gems to enjoy for the horror nerds to enjoy as I give it 3 stars.

 

Force to Fear (Festival screener) – One of the most anticipated independent films of 2020 is finally here. We get this retro action film where a couple so-called cops are torturing a drug dealer is interrupted by so-called twenty-somethings who break into the abandoned school to party. The party ends up to be cover for these party goers who track down criminals to be arrested but their latest target or unknown assassin known as “the target” is prepared to take out all involved. Everything goes south when one of the young criminal hunters die and they are all locked in the building. Now everyone left must fight for their lives against “the target’ that has body armor on and has some bad ass fighting skills! Zane Hershberger and Chad Bruns have done a wonderful job of crafting an action filled independent film that has some cool fighting scenes that are not done without a fully committed cast. Those fight scenes done by the cast were just a delight to watch and might make some filmmakers jealous of the work that was done. Kudos to all of the actors involved in this project as it has that charm of finding that cool direct-to-video action film I enjoyed finding in the early 90s at the video store. ‘Force to Fear’ is a strong, fun, and an impressive independent gem! ‘Force to Fear’ is the type of project that may get overlooked because when talking “independent” it is usually referring to low budget horror. Stop and go no further as you may find this to be the diamond in the rough of the independent genre in 2020 as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!