Tag Archives: Jim Roberts

Grossfest has sold out vendor spaces!

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Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in for movies, vendors, and just hanging with some very cool talented people

Start making plans…

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East
699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235
412-244-1600
or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com
Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention… again!
See yinz there!

Movies that will play that day (times will be posted in the next few weeks along with the Grossfest Lifetime Achievement Award being given away once again, and yes we know who we are giving it to already)

Grossfest guests:
Drew Marvick
Madeline Deering
Jim Roberts
James L. Edwards
Steve Rudzinski
Adam Clevenger
The Mummy and the Monkey

Movies:
Hexercise
Then My Mind Walked Away
Shingles The Movie
Bathtub Shark Attack
Doomsday Stories
Night of the Axe

Check our Grossfest group page or www.grossfest.com for list of vendors. Plus any questions or comments please send to grossfest@gmail.com

Vendors:
Cluck, Cluck Productions
Glyphs & Glam
Dazed and Disorderly
Barry the Movie Demon
Wolf Hollow LLC
MMH Productions
Pgh Scrubs Guy
Minerva’s Trinkets
Nostalgic Nightmare Productions
Face Melt Productions
Broaden Torture Productions
Drunken Yinzers Productions
Video Nasty Productions
13 Occult
Shoggoth Suds
Midnight Magazine
Independent American Pictures
Addison Binek
Lou Ickes
48 Hour Film Project
Kiss of Death Productions
Cindy’s Creature Chaos
The Cinema Psychos Show
The Artwork of Travis Trium Perfectum
1331 Studios
Neens Soaps
Such Babz Customs
Sydneys Scrunchies
Spirit of Halloween
Magical Resin Shop

Grossfest movie update!

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Just an update so far: Vendor spaces are selling nicely, waiting on one or maybe two more guests to get back to us, and we have an early movie list for the event that will be playing (no order yet, except we always open with Matt Cannon Hexercise) and thank yinz again!

Hexercise

Then My Mind Walked Away

Shingles The Movie

Bathtub Shark Attack

Doomsday Stories

http://www.grossfest.com

Grossfest returns in a big way Saturday, August 5, 2023!!! We are going to party like Grossfest 2018 because unlike other conventions we are sticking with “PRE-COVID” PRICES!

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

All we ask of yinz, is your support! You want this to keep happening you have to get your asses there and plus to answer any questions of it: Yes, a two-day event is already in the plans for August 2024! (We need to take the first big step back) So let’s keep it simple and enjoy Grossfest is back and with your support this is a new beginning for our Independent Horror Convention.

Vendors please contact grossfest@gmail.com for a vendors application and we are working on having several different ways of taking payment.

See yinz there!

Grossfest guest list… so far

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This energetic, talented actor, director, overall cool human being has been one of my favorite and possibly most interesting people I have had the pleasure meeting over the years. You may know him from one of the best Indy “massacre” films ever made in “Pool Party Massacre”. But he also has parts in recent projects such as: The Barn 2, Amityville Hex, Scare Me, and Slashlorette Party as Grossfest is honored to have Drew Marvick as a guest.

This talented newcomer to the filmmaking community busted onto the scene with a film not only shot on video but prefers the process and has already carved a niche into the scene with their first big project “Spirit Animal”. Now they are about to rock the boat of Indy filmmaking again with their latest “Bathtub Shark Attack”! I dare you to say there is a bigger supporter of SOV films and shark films out there? So with great pleasure we will be having Madeline Deering as a guest.

This filmmaker is a quiet, talented fellow that I have known for many years and have had the pleasure watch him grow and learn with his films. I get super excited when this individual has a new release because I know it’s gonna be gory, fun, and possibly a little disturbing. He might be best known for such titles: Welcome to Deer Creek, Tonight You Die, What’s Wrong With Mom?, and Happy Hour Holocaust . But the I believe the Indy world is about to be blown away by this filmmaker’s most complete feature to date with “Then My Mind Walked Away” as we enjoy knowing Jim Roberts will be joining Grossfest as a guest.

Now this dude is excellent and his career has spanned a few decades where he started in a little role for a little film called “The Dead Next Door”. From there he was in such titles: Robot Ninja, The Sandman, Polymorph, Killer Campout, Frames of Fear 3, Deathboard, Hell Van  just to name a few. But recently has really made an impact as a director with titles: Her Name is Christa and Brimstone Incorporated! We believe Grossfest fans will enjoy his presence and we are happy to announce James L. Edwards as a guest.

Now yinz know we cannot have a Grossfest unless we have this individual as a guest? This director, actor, producer, has given Indy fans such fun titles as: Basic Slaughter, The Slasher Hunter, Everyone Must Die!, Super Task Force One, and then showed off his talent even more when he broke through with not just his “Meowy” series but his “CarousHell 1 and 2” breaking into the mainstream! This multi-talented star is on the edge of going global but always has time for us folks at Grossfest as usual we enjoy knowing we have Steve Rudzinski as a guest.

Over the past decade Mr. Clevenger has had a variety of roles through several Indy projects but also is a director, producer, etc. It isn’t often someone can make waves with one Indy film project and if I could point out a film that in our opinion is why we wanted him as a guest for Grossfest it is his first directed feature 2018’s “People to Kill” starring the very talented Erin Ryan. That film stands out big time when we discuss independent films over the years and take our word on it… It will stick with you as you get to meet this very cool individual who we are happy to have as a guest at Grossfest, Mr. Adam Scott Clevenger.

$10 ticket to get in/$50 for a vendors table

Comfort Inn Conference Center Pittsburgh East

699 Rodi Rd., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15235

412-244-1600 or www.comfortinnpittsburgh.com

Need reservations? https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/TP87S2

One day event with guests, movies, filmmakers, vendors from 11am to 7pm. (Guests will be announced soon and as always subject to change)

Gross Movie Reviews #597

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2 Cool 2 Geek the Film (YouTube) – A no budget film that documents two guys (Old School and 50-K) who have a web series and these guys have gotten big enough Spike TV is gonna pick the show up. Spike TV arrives to start filming and follow these two around until their buddy of the show Youngblood is kidnapped and of course hijinks ensues. There are cops, way too many comic book conventions, talk of sex slaves, way too much Sonic the Hedgehog worship, a bat on a string, and a Swedish exchange kid that cannot wait to do cosplay. This project is from Craig Blake and Adam Stern, so if you have enjoyed such films as Doug Waugh’s “Trash Juice”, “The Wet Ones” from “Wig Wolf”, or Addison Binek’s “Magnum Opus: The Movie” this chaos will be up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Valentine Bluffs: My Bloody Valentine Fan Film (YouTube) – ‘Fan Film’… let’s start there because that to me is always gonna be a tough sell especially a sequel to horror fans’ favorite over the years and there was only one movie, never a sequel. I am not opposed, I might be old thinking on this, but I always felt when you do see that term your expectations are already lowered right or wrong as a viewer. Anyhow it has been 40 years since the original killings of Harry Warden/Axel and the town of Valentine Bluffs has spent a lot of time healing and not talking about the legend. But two things are happening that will possibly rip the town apart again as it has barely kept alive this long. First, is TJ and Sarah’s son is heading to the small town looking for his father and second is the mayor (Lloyd Kaufman) who has come up with a gimmick for the closed mine “Harry’s Bloody Attraction” that most are not too keen on the idea. As you watch the film, filmmaker Tom Smith (pretty much his first feature) tries to connect certain things to the original to keep fans interested. Once TJ’s kid comes rolling into town the small town murders begin to happen again and without giving too much away Tom Smith tries to give answers to what may have happen after the first film. Now I know there are some fans of this film already but this is how I seen it right or wrong it’s just an opinion. But here we go folks: I felt the pacing was off and the buildup to the end was slow. The production looked great, you had a location, but in my mind what you did in the last five to ten minutes of the movie should have been expanded or made more of the plot point of the film. Because I think you can’t get away from the ending of the first film without explaining what happen to Axel so it sucks fans in. Second, I understand the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman as the mayor but anymore he only brings humor and not a sense of seriousness to the role that I believe was key for this project to work. Clearly you had a mine location I just felt you should have used it more as the last five/ten minutes felt great compared to what came before it. Again why it will always be tough to do a project/sequel to such an iconic film “My Bloody Valentine” of horror fan lore, so let the hate mail role in but anyway if anything filmmaker Tom Smith has my attention as I am curious where he goes with his second or third feature length film as I give this 2 out of 4 stars.

Good Old Days (Dropbox) – A short film where we have a beautiful summer-like day for three young ladies to take a bike ride to the field of a drive-in. Enjoying a great time and wanting a picture of it they get something they weren’t looking for and that is a sadistic couple with video cameras! But the best scare yet to happen. The five minute short is too the point, professional, and the ending will make yinz savor the entertainment you just witnessed as I got to give Zane Hershberger’s and Bridget Murphy’s project 4 out of 4 stars.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 – (Full Moon) – We are introduce to the sorority that has been trying to get from under the past of the strange murders at the bowling alley with a new set of sorority sisters wanting or needing more pledges or the house charter will be taken away. Kelli Maroney the sorority mother tries to put a stop to any thinking of the young ladies doing something stupid but they do it anyway as the sorority sisters and pledges head to the bowling alley to once again steal the bowling trophy. Remember it is about tradition so they are trying to restore it by unleashing the evil imp again! It’s cheesy, stupid fun, and has a few fun cameos. Is it the original B-movie madness some of us nuts loved 30-some years ago, probably not but they were smart to not reinvent the concept and go with what works as new Full Moon fans should enjoy this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doppelganger (YouTube) – A Matt Diulus short film that deals with a man that falls into his dream world meeting another version of himself. What sets this idea a part from some others that might sound familiar is the music as it sets the tone for what happens as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Victim No More – A Friday the 13th Tribute Film (YouTube) – Written and directed by a person some Indy fans may know from Ramsteer Films from several years ago, Bob Heckman. In this project Mr. Heckman tackles of course the Jason Voorhees legend. A young man Robbie who is talking to his therapist wanting to prove to his mother that Jason is long dead along with the Camp Crystal Lake serial killer legend. All Robbie wants is to put this behind him and be able to live a normal family life as his mother was a survivor of these Camp Crystal Lake bloodbaths many years ago. Meanwhile a young couple is exploring the woods in search of the legendary stomping grounds of Jason believing he has been long gone since 1984 (if you are listening to their conversation). But to the surprise of all three the ghost of Jason is very much alive and still stalks these woods. I gotta give Mr. Heckman credit for the cast, a solid story, and of course the location and keeping this fan film at 40 minutes. Really felt it didn’t allow the film to get dull. To be honest I am surprised there haven’t been more real attempts of this universe by fans? Now is there something for me to pick at, yes, but they are small things: What happens at the end (without spoiling it) thought there could have been a little more subplot there to sprinkle in but that would have made the film much longer. Also Jason… love the look (Part 6 undead/part seven rotting Jason) but felt like a much bigger person or more opposing person (CJ Graham perhaps) should have been in the suit. Overall Mr. Heckman had a budget to check off everything a “Friday the 13th” would want from a fan film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Curious to see if an idea like this would cross over into a bigger Hollywood budgeted version of “Friday the 13th” or will we always stay in limbo with projects like this?

Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available is I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

Results (YouTube) – A short film project from Austin Muratori that has a young man dealing with some depressing and shitty medical news. Without talking to family first this man makes a heartbreaking decision. There is a small twist in this depressing, effective, good short film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Half a Mind (YouTube) – A cautionary tale of futuristic brain surgery and what good or bad can come of it. The short film looks wonderful and a great setup or trailer for a feature length film that all was missing was Rutger Hauer in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the background of the dinner scene as I give this Buzz Meade short 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #507

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Gross Movie Reviews #507

The Cottage (DVD) – A UK horror/comedy that stars Andy Serkis as one of three men who devise a plan to kidnap a beautiful young daughter of a notorious club owner. Things go well for the three a whole five minutes until follies begin to happen like one of them forgetting their cell phone, needing to check in with the wife, the third being followed and checking the bag for ransom money. It’s one laugh after the next until the night club send in the boys to clean up the mess as they find the three hiding out at a cottage in a small village. Then the story change as one of the kidnappers’ and the young lady traveling the woods start finding a gory mess of body parts and a huge ‘Wrong Turn’ extra that is slicing and dicing anyone near his cottage. A wonderful and gory entertaining film for the horror fan looking to find their horror fix as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Deadly Reactor (You Tube) – In a supposedly post-nuke world where only Amish communities still exist a man (David Heavener) is left for dead and his family gunned down by an evil gang leader named “Hog”. Hog likes to lay waste to the innocent and buy guns and drugs in this new post-nuke world. The man left for dead was a preacher but is taught by an old man to be a gunfighter who heads to the first Amish community that has been taken over by Hog to fight back. He becomes sheriff and convinces the town for the long term they will need to fight back even if they do not believe in violence. There are bits and pieces of backstory between characters of what started the war that got them into this desolate future but never fleshed out. Sorry kids post-apocalypse film I am always curious about those details and especially during a dull B-flick from the end of the 80s as I give it 1 star.

 

Hogzilla (Shudder) – Joe Bob or no Joe Bob this film was terrible and Joe Bob Briggs was correct to rip it during one of his recent shows that had Darcy show it. A news crew heads into the Florida woods (yep, you heard me) to do a story on a rampaging giant mutant hog. Save your time, your effort, and being angry you made yourself watch this and go watch ‘Razorback’ again? Or check out the recent ‘Boar’ with Nathan Jones as this flick was just complete hot garbage and should have stayed lost as I give the 2008 film 0 stars.

 

The Intruder (DVD) – A group of people are invited to an island get together, weekend fling, whatever you wanna call it as a friend/relative has died and they are there for a reading of the will. This so-called death of a friend died in a plane crash over the Amazon and supposedly before his death got gold to his island retreat and hid it somewhere within its walls. As night falls and the people supposedly go to bed at the estate that is when the action begins and the bodies start to pile up quickly. While all left in the retreat are scared and wonder if one of them is killing others off an unknown killer lurks around the island taking care of business. I don’t like its multiple endings or places they could have ended but definitely worth a watch as this 1975 film starring Mickey Rooney and Yvonne DeCarlo was only released in 2017. For some reason the film was finished and shelved for decades. Could not find out exactly why it was shelved and for that long but again it is a solid “who dun it” film from the 70s for the older cinema nerds as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Beyond Dream’s Door (DVD) – Ben Dobbs is a young man who has many nightmares but his latest Ben has been keeping track of. The nightmares have seemed to be interconnecting and bring this to the attention of his professor of his Psych class. Ben has written them down word for word for his professor to read. He even has a daydream during class where he writes a phrase that makes confide in his professor about it. Professor Knox begins to read and feels like he is a part of it some weird magical way and asks for Ben to come over that evening so they can figure out where to go with the nightmare. Figure out what the nightmare means in general. Soon anyone associated with Ben or Professor Knox becomes a part of the nightmare. It is a film that will either be super dull to viewers or really radical for others as it is one those dreams bleed into reality with a cool looking demon that lurks throughout the nightmare chasing Ben as I give it 2 stars.

 

Deadly Impact (DVD) – Another Eye-talian production that was filmed in Arizona and Vegas where two old friends George (Bo Svenson) and Lou (Fred Williamson) get together for some unintentional action. George the cop keeps trying to arrest Lou a helicopter pilot just for any reason he can find but keep finding themselves chasing after two wannabe mob guys who caught onto a couple’s scam in Vegas. The couple was using computers to beat the system (its 1984 folks) to gain enough money to buy a ranch in Arizona and retire. These two mob extras catch on, follow them, and then kill the boyfriend and now track the girlfriend to get the money. George and Lou just keep finding themselves in one action scene after another trying to catch these two before they get away with the money. This film was actually a disappointment to me. Surprise, surprise folks I found a Fred Williamson flick I wasn’t that into as it felt like the film doesn’t go anywhere most of the time. Even though there is a couple cool car stunts just felt dull and the filmmaker didn’t know what to do with these veteran actors or there may have not been much of a script? Anyway I thought I was in for a treat but it turned out to be like stepping in dog poo in your backyard when you do not own a dog as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

River of Death (DVD) – Finally track down this Michael Dudikoff flick and didn’t know he else was in it until I started watching? We got Donald Pleasance as a Nazi war criminal financing an expedition and Robert Vaughn as a Nazi doctor who escaped in the Amazon to still perform his experiments. It begins in 1945 to give us a little backstory on the two Nazi war criminals and their plan to escape to South America. Then we are thrusted to 1965 where Dudikoff’s character is a man trying to make a few bucks being a guide through the Amazon jungle as he knows some of the tribes who live there and is putting together a map that leads to a lost city. He leads a father and daughter into the jungle to find out the strange cause of an illness that has stricken the tribes but is attacked and the daughter taken prisoner. Hell bent on going back Dudikoff gets financing from Pleasance to go in, find the lost city and its treasure. A very uneven story with a lot going on that is not the usual Dudikoff affair action buffs are use too. The film has star power, Dudikoff, and somewhat of a believable story to like movie wise but it just seems like it never hits its stride during the production as I give it 2 stars.

 

Cooking with Roger (DVD) – Indy filmmaker Jim Roberts unleashes his latest short film with the help of filmmaker Jorge Delarosa and crew that has an odd couple trying to film their cooking show for one of the social streaming sites. Roger with the help of his assistant or sister is trying to cook up something special for folks to try at home. Roger decides lets head to his son’s garden for some exotic herbs and veggies to add to the soup he is going to make? Roger convinces his assistant that a mushroom would be perfect for the soup even though he was told not to pick it or eat it. Now mind yinz they are filming their shenanigans sloppily throughout as they are very unschooled in what is proper for their cooking show that just adds to the authenticity of the amateur cooking show. Roger adds the mushroom to the soup, both he and his assistant taste the soup, and quickly they see a disgusting elf that convinces them they need more mushrooms. As both of them keep filming and keep devouring the soup and mushrooms Roger’s son shows up for the chaos. And sadly for Roger’s son it devolves into a horror show for all on the internet to enjoy! I give this evil fun and brilliance of a short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ouija Shark (DVD) – Well you had me at ‘Shark’ and 69 minutes running time. Our story begins with a young beautiful lady finding a Ouija board that washed ashore where she decided to take a swim. Jill picks it up and takes along to the all-girls pool party she is attending with a college friend. After some swimming and cooking out she convinces the other young women to play along on the Ouija board. Of course something strange happens and Jill has an odd dream. Next day a spirit shark shows up in the woods and begins chasing down and munching down on humans. After Jill consults with her father who happens to be a “medium” and a couple friends become lunch to the spirit shark she grabs the leather for the climatic fight with the spirit shark. Not to mention the film ‘Ouija’ is reference several times and oh yeah we get some weird Mortal Kombat shit with the spirit shark in the climatic fight. This light-hearted and entertaining independent shark film was well worth the watch as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Tunnels (DVD) – This horror film promised rats and instead I got a thriller about corrupt newspaper owner trying to get rid of the city’s homeless. Pam the editor at The Guardian is challenged to take on the next story no matter how big or how little by the paper photographer. She does as it involves an exterminator taking her into the bowels of the old building looking for rats but instead finds the owner’s brother of the newspaper. From there the story turns from rats to trying to break the story about all the homeless disappearing and why. I may have been a little disappointed I didn’t have another giant rat invasion movie to watch. But go look at the star power that was in this film because they are the reasons I kept watching this lesser known thriller as I give it 2 stars.

 

Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare (DVD) – I didn’t have high hopes for this as I seen it described as a possible homage to ‘Slumber Party Massacre’ but I was expecting something fun in this independent feature. Instead we all get a very dull, uninteresting film if that is what you wanna call it about supposedly 16 year old girls having a slumber party during spring break. The girls are stalked by a 50 year old teenager named Kort who is in love with all the teenage girls at this slumber party. The film fails on all accounts as you should at least try to do something with your hot garbage script before you even try filming something that resembles a half-ass production done with your parents’ camera in one day. Or to keep it simple folks don’t insult us fans of the independent horror genre with your dumb shit that looks like a complete waste of time. I give it a can of dog poo that sat out in the hot sun and smells worse than when it was first picked up!

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #480

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Gross Movie Reviews #480

 

Valet Girls (On Demand) – Thanks to my good friend from across the pond James Peter Cox, he help me find this lost Empire Pictures flick that Charles Band has yet to abuse recently. It has cameos from former porn stars Ron Jeremy and Barbara Dare! For the most part this sex comedy that is more about comedy than sex is about Lucy and Rosalind and their misadventures as “Valet Girls” in Hollywood. All they want is to be famous but have to deal with dickholes Dirk Zebra and his sexual harassment antics. These young ladies are just trying to make it in the rock-n-roll business but in the meantime dress slutty for their job of parking cars. Most of this B-grade sex comedy takes place at a mansion that is basically supposed to be the Playboy mansion. But the girls get them all back when they are able to get the press in to see the underbelly of business in Hollywood. It is nowhere near as fun as “Hardbodies” but well adding that notch in your belt of 80s sex comedies that need to be seen as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Blink of an Eye (DVD) – Arie Lombardozzi goes with a subtle statement short film that I believe can be taken in several ways depending what frame of mind you are in watching it? And that is a good thing in my book when reviewing independent stuff. A typical family of four is going through the routine of life. They are convincing themselves they are they are living a dream, meanwhile death is watching nearby creeping closer and closer. I enjoyed a couple things about this: first, everyone is faceless including the well-shot scene or scenes in the car dealership… Bravo my friend! And second, I believe you could watch this several times and have a different opinion each time of what is being portrayed. So for that Arie I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.deathdealerproductions.com .

Closing Time (DVD) – Well for the love of Rutger Hauer… Jim Roberts went and did it again as he made a wonderful independent horror film again and possibly the most serious to date. But don’t let that scare you off this mixture of paranormal, gangster, western, splatter film… Yeah that is the best way to describe this fun feature. A young man named Eddy just receives news his father died in an accident that was possibly caused by another young man Steve whose father owed money to Eddy’s father. Eddy not taking kindly to this and waiting for his father to get cold in the ground decides it is time to collect and get revenge with a little help from some friends. Eddy’s brutal take down of Steve’s western store goes well at first until the Native American spirits decide to pick sides and turn this revenge flick into full on splatter flick! The spirits want blood and sure get it as they fuck up Eddy and his cohorts. Jim Roberts is an amazing filmmaker the world has yet known but be prepared because if he keeps making wonderful entertaining horror films like this Hollywood will be calling as I give 3 out of 4 stars. Once again Jim proves he needs little money and some help from his dedicated friends to pull off a horror film that is more interesting than 99% of the shit you watch in 2019… Thank me later after you buy it!

Shark Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon Vol. 1 (DVD) – Okay if you haven’t heard of Addison Binek it is time you do. This dude does riff trax for flicks, all kinds of flicks and even got Lloyd Kaufmann’s blessing. In the same vein as MST3K but he does it in like 20 minutes or so for each flick. With his YouTube channel under attack by YouTube as many others are Addison has decided to put out DVD collections of some of his best Riffs and damn it they are hilarious. In this collection Addison covers: Sharktopus, 2-Headed Shark Attack, Snow Shark, Sharks in Venice, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Super Shark, Raiders of the Lost Shark, Psycho Shark, The Last Shark, and Creature from the Haunted Sea. He does these films in some of the most prop filled and hatred towards SyFy Channel I have ever seen… And I laughed my ass off! Mr. Binek doesn’t take them too serious but his hatred at times is his love for cinema just coming through and telling the truth that people don’t wanna hear. Addison is absolutely brilliant and hilarious and gave some awesome quotes like “Bloody shark hand stigmata” and “Oh, a found footage movie from the future, GREAT!” If you need a laugh and wanna hear what we all been thinking when watching these flicks then do yourself a favor with this 4 stars entertainment all the way.

 

Shark Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon Vol. 2 (DVD) – Addison Binek is back riffing on aquatic animal movies to my liking and less angry and just accepts how bad some of these are. This time around Mr. Binek almost makes me piss myself laughing when he tackles: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, Mega Shark vs. Kolossus, Sharkansas Women’s Prison, Piranha 3DD, Shark Exorcist, and Blood Beach. Yeah there is still a little SyFy Channel bashing but we do get a great line like “Are those giant balls?” Instead of anger we get Addison just enjoying what these movies are and that is they are just bad which for me is a good thing as I give this collection 4 stars again all the way!

 

The Hornet’s Disciple and the Scars She Left (DVD) – There is some talented independent filmmakers out there and then there is Dustin Mills. The man is constantly working and never doing the same thing horror wise. He is always trying to stretch the genre in so many ways to his vision. This film is no exception… For me a very hard watch as it’s not my usual cup of tea as it is in the vein of “A Serbian Film” or “August Underground”. This isn’t good or bad as Dustin is constantly trying to do something different constantly and I believe he is succeeding. The story revolves around a young lady Rose whose puts out ads looking for other young ladies who are into fetishes, pictures, videos, bondage, etc. Rose is looking for new sexual content for her website and is constantly upfront about what she wants. Everything is hunky dory with her newest actress/project Finley until Finley comes to the understanding what is actually happening and just hopes to get out alive! Rose abuses Finley until she comes to the revelation there has to be one that gets away? Is it possible if we look deeper into this content that it’s about a young lady like most today under the age of 30 are desensitized to everything now? Or is it just about a ruthless, sadistic, brutal woman who likes abuse in some way? Not totally sure but I do know this is a hard watch but give credit to Roni Jonah for being amazing in her role as Rose as I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. Again the film is not my cup of tea but I and Dustin know there is always an audience for this.

 

Machete Joe (DVD) – Well this low budget flick started off great and then quickly went into the pooper. The film is about a couple of filmmakers who have two different visions on what the low budget film they are filming is about. But of course they casted it and are filming at a haunted castle (supposedly) with not a full script called, “Machete Man”. Once everyone is there slowly the crew is being picked off. The film tries to be a ‘Who Dun it?’ kinda of flick but if you make it to the end you don’t really care as I give this bad movie 1 star.

 

Toilet Gator (YouTube) – “When you see the brown eye someone will die!” Yep the filmmaker tells you this before the movie gets started and it spends twenty minutes of the 60 minute film introducing the characters in a New York City apartment building. The toilet gator becomes a reality when famous child star Johnny Beaver flushes a pet alligator down the toilet before his mom knows he spent 500 bucks on it. Two weeks later it jumps out of someone’s toilet and attacks. Oh believe me it is worse than you can ever believe but leave it to me to sit back and find some weird enjoyment of this mid-90s Indy film no one heard of.  This was horribly bad until we get a dude fighting the toilet gator with a plunger and for that I give it a ½ star.

 

The Osterman Weekend (DVD) – This 1983 film stars Rutger Hauer and just about everybody else you can think of. Rutger Hauer is a TV personality named Tanner who looks to expose things politically for the people on live TV by interviewing government persons when possible. The CIA comes to believe that all of Tanner’s friends from Berkley are helping the Russians and plotting something big. They use an agent to help Tanner to turn his yearly retreat with his friends into a possible turning a friend into a spy against the Russians. Everything of course is for U.S. security but as the weekend goes along Tanner becomes more upset as his friends become unglued and the real reasons of their meetings are revealed. A very interesting film on privacy, government, and a few other things that are in the news now over 36 years later more than ever. For that folks I give this wonderful spy movie 3 ½ stars.

 

Alley Cat (DVD) – A wonderful B-movie action flick where a young lady (Billie) has had enough after her grandparents have been mugged. She tries to do it the right through the court system but gets in trouble for helping a rape victim and decides it is time to use her karate moves to jack up some dumb ass loser dudes that keep causing chaos in her life. We get everything to Billie fighting cops to her setting up her own rules in women’s prison until she can get out and kick ass! Fun B-movie stuff that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #438

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Gross Movie Reviews #438

 

Happy Hour Holocaust 2: The Second Round (DVD) – One of my favorite independent filmmakers ‘Jim Roberts’ is back at it again with his crew. They recently finished up a sequel to their fun anthology film they released a couple years back. I have had this film sitting in my possession for almost two months. Jim wanted me to hold off because he had a little bit more editing left but I could not wait any longer as I am a huge fan of his work. And his crew that consists of his family and Jorge Delarosa are some of the coolest down to earth talented people you could ever meet. This new anthology of course expands the role of the bartender who does the wrap around story along with one of the best made movie openings I have ever witnessed. Great stuff guys! Wonderful music and effects blended together to set the mood of this independent feature. Our bartender has another three stories to tell: first was a reality show of drunken house flippers and what’s in the basement? Second is about mom and two brothers who have to take care of her. (Reviewed this short while back) Third is about a lonely dude out in the woods that seeks revenge for his dog. As usual Jim and family put together a tightly knit cast and film with some of the best special-effects you will see in an independent film on the east coast! A well-executed follow up film for the family as they never disappoint as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Jim: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004080845938

The Litch (DVD) – A hilarious film from independent filmmaker James Balsamo about a character named Vinnie who tells the story of accidentally awaken an undead demon wizard thing! James uses his talent to bring in some great cameo appearances to move the story along and keep it loose. Two of the cameos include Jeff Burr, Tom Sizemore and Elizabeth Daily. (Ms. Daily is a fave of mine just because of her work in the 80s.) Vinnie awakens the undead wizard thingy when he steals an expensive crystal from a crystal store. And according to Vinnie “that was the worst idea ever.” When he does it sets in motion events of “The Litch” possessing people in Vinnie’s life and their goal is to retrieve the crystal. If this happens “The Litch” is able to be THE RULER OF THE FOUR WORLDS! “The Litch” needs an army as he feeds on their souls. The film about a bumbling criminal and undead demon thingy is absolutely well-constructed, hilarious, and can see this having a few sequels in the future? And if anything else James did make sure you get to see lots of boobs. For that I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info on the film: http://www.acidbathproductions.com/

 

Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre (DVD) – First off if you are like me and have seen “The Porn Shoot Massacre” before you seen this film? Erase it from your mind right now damn it! This is a much better constructed and thought out horror film with shades of “Scream”. Quad-X porn company is about to have their biggest shoot ever. But a killer or killers are stalking and slashing their way through all the Quad-X’s famous pornstars. With lots of drama on the set between director, producers, and actors barely anyone notices people disappearing until local detectives get involved. But the movie must go on as they say in the industry! Instead of throwing lots of tits and ass at the screen for the viewer the filmmakers go in a different direction and give you a horror movie that doesn’t feel like a poor excuse to not call it porn? “The Porn Shoot Massacre” anyone? I really enjoyed the direction of this production, the selectively placed ads over the nudity, and of course the dildo drill to the head (it kind of resembles the Bob scene in “Gates of Hell” or “City of the Living Dead”). At first I was only going to give this flick 2 stars but as the days pass from first watching I have to give it 3 stars as I know I will be watching this film again. Thank you filmmakers understanding the difference between humor, horror, and porn…

Overdose: Death of a Punk Rocker (Blu-ray) – When looking at this movie the first thing that catches my eye is the tagline: “Punk’s not dead… But Brad is!” okay I am in. Brad Stanley is the lead singer of a band called ‘B-movie Nightmares’. His former band mate and best friend Brian is watching the news and sees this report of Brad dying of a heroin overdose. Brian at first in shock refuses to accept this fate. But thinks about it calmly and decides to go down the rabbit hole of finding out the real truth of Brad’s death because Brian refuses to believe there wasn’t something or somebody behind his death. This rabbit hole gives us hilarious stories of when ‘B-movie Nightmares’ were together, lots of dialogue on Brad wanting to join the “27 club” of famous people, music industry conspiracies, and why Brian quit the band. If you are a Kevin Smith fan you enjoy this entertaining dialogue driven film. By no means this is a horror movie but that doesn’t mean you cannot take a chance on watching a film from filmmaker D.J. Yarotsky and enjoying something pretty fucking interesting with great music. I give it 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/overdosefilm/

Freak in the Basement (DVD) – Another gory flick from Alex Wesley and Russia has made its way to me again where this film was a few years in the making. We meet a man named Nicholai. Nicholai visits a therapist to help him with his serious problem. Needs help, he needs someone to listen; he needs to stop killing people! But Nicholai begins to tell the story to the therapist of the monster in his basement. He comes in contact with creature after he tries to evict a tenant. The tenant is high or delusional but she wipes some weird stuff on his lips and Nicholai feels a high like no other before. Quickly becoming addicted to it and the creature possibly having telekinetic powers with him, he understands that the creature eats human flesh it secretes this snotty liquid/sweat which gets you high. This high cause Nicholai to go on a killing spree and then the movie gets real weird when the alien cyborg arrives to retrieve the creature to be a slave on another planet? Yes people I cannot make this entertaining shit up and love it when I see it on screen. Just when you think you have seen it all, you haven’t thanks to Alex Wesley and his independent filmmaking crew! I give this fun adventure into gore 3 out of 4 stars and for more info: https://www.facebook.com/groups/837731036372859/about/ and https://www.facebook.com/ShansHorrorFilms/

 

Swingers Massacre (VHS/YouTube) – The 1974 thriller is also known as “Inside Amy” for 70s film buffs. This cautionary tale of being into the “swinging” is about a lawyer who has been married for several years to a beautiful woman named Amy who is just happy with everything. But after Charlie hears a story about the lifestyle from one of his divorcee clients he is hell bent on trying this out with Amy whether she is into or not. Out of just wanting to please Charlie and his limp old wiener Amy goes along with the idea of going to a hip swingers club where they meet a few couples. One thing leads to another at a party afterward and Amy just happens to be the life of the party as males and female partners want “Inside Amy”. (Ha, ha, I couldn’t help myself as I wanted to laugh while writing this) Anyway Amy has a wonderful time and Charlie not so much. When they are calling back for the couple to come back for more parties Charlie’s reaction is “No!” and go on a killing spree of those who have and still want to bang Amy. A wonderful 70s film that I was unaware of and glad I now own a copy as I will be revisiting this again soon as I give it 3 stars.

 

Hell Spa (DVD) – A horrible but hilarious fun bad film to watch with friends is about Benson’s Health Spa which is closing due to all the new spiffy workout clubs that have sprung up. The failed business is closing its doors until a mysterious man named Mr. Ex comes by and offers her a one-time deal she cannot refuse. A few days later Benson’s Health Spa is up and running and looks better than it ever did. They even run a commercial saying “Look Beautiful and Stay Fit or Never Pay a Dime”. But things are not always what they seem as a local college paper investigates the resurgence in Benson’s Health Spa and their promotion. Plus they want to know more about the bad-looking 80s TV villain Mr. Ex and what’s his involvement since the new health spa is in every aspect of your life once you join with the new lifetime membership. But don’t worry folks this film doesn’t disappoint being the next film you need to own in your “bad movie collection” when a floppy disk saves all! Remember people film was made in 1990 and released in 1992 as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Death Wish (On Demand) – Finally the Eli Roth remake has made its way out there for all of us to witness, tear apart, or just complain it doesn’t have Chuck Bronson. In the times we live in the film has a whole entire different feel to it than the original from the early 70s. I believe that actually helps this film work as Mr. Kersey is played by Bruce Willis and is a doctor from Chicago in this film. When Kersey is called into surgery on his birthday, his wife and daughter get attacked in their home. His wife dies and daughter critically injured, Kersey is distraught with the lack of findings from the police. So just like the original Kersey takes it upon himself to track down the men that wronged his family. The movie isn’t going to make anyone’s best films of the year list but is too easy of a target for society to point too for several reasons. Instead I look at like this: This remake doesn’t bother me at all as it has a complete different feel to it just because what is happening in real life these days and I really didn’t feel anything for any of the characters. I believe Eli Roth did what he could with what was there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 (DVD) – Thanks to “5 Second Films” and crowd funding this movie exists as it doesn’t just make fun of the slasher genre as much as points out the some funnier aspects of the lesser known slasher flicks. Plus they wanted to break the record for most kills on film. Brock belongs to a frat who has survived two massacres of a killer named “Motherface”. But he dies when seeing a therapist to talk about what happened. So his twin less appealing brother Brett sets off to pledge for the same frat and find out what really happened to his brother and find his killer. But the frat brothers are not sure to accept Brett or not as they go off to the cabin in the woods for the weekend where they killed the whole town with a flood. Once there the Motherface is back and slicing and dicing her way through the frat brothers in hopes of killing them off completely. And it is possible that Ronald Reagan is behind everything? Hilarious, check your brain at the door horror film that yeah most likely goes a few minutes longer than it should have. But still worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Just about two months away folks and tickets are available!!!

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Grossfest 2018 we will see yinz there!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dave Stein from the James Balsamo film “The Litch”

 

 

 

 

 

A little less than six months to go till… GROSSFEST!

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Hello people, independent horror movie fans, vendors, authors, fellow geeks. Quite a few people have recently ask, “What is the goal of Grossfest?”

 

The goal of Grossfest isn’t just to have fun but to do a film festival, convention, whatever you wanna call it a little bit different. Grossfest is not here to compete with the local Steel City Con, Living Dead Festival, or even Horror Realm at The Hollywood Theater. Grossfest is an idea that yes, started off as a joke but was always an idea of something that I have always wanted to do. It’s an idea that has been rolling around in my head for many years. Hell, some of the people who got to see the Bastards of Horror film festival years ago at Horror Realm knew I always would like to do something like this. The point of this idea is to have an event once a year with help that will cater to independent filmmakers, independent actors, their films, independent authors, and celebrate them. Give them another platform to show off their work! Instead of the Indy people being only a small part of the event how about make them the biggest and best part of the event?

 

I want this event to not only be something I have always enjoyed for so many years about low budget and independent movies. But how about have an event where not only focuses on these cool talented people but introduce them to a crowd of film lovers and geeks that may not know them or only heard of them. Plus, have the filmmakers and so on meet each other filmmakers, gain new fans, etc. Also we all know conventions can be expensive believe me I have been there done that for years. The other part of the goal of Grossfest for me and the others behind it is we are not in it for the money, but to celebrate the independent genre. So that means keeping costs of tickets and vendor spaces low so we can do this every year at the same location! As I always said, “you never know when meeting these talented people and seeing their films when you might be introduced to the next Tom Savini or George Romero or KNB FX group?”

 

By some chance the event isn’t successful a really cool person, Tim Wilder (R.I.P.) said to me, “Order pizza and turn it into a party. All of our friends will be there anyway and there will be awesome movies!” And that I can never argue.

 

So if you are interested in being a vendor, contact us (grossfest@gmail.com) tables are only $50. Just a fan or wanna see what all the fuss is about tickets will be $10 at the door.  You are a filmmaker or producer that has a feature or a short film? We are taking those. Of course we already have our main lineup of films but we do have a segment where the best feature and short film sent to us will have a spot in the movie lineup but also win a “Grossfest” award! And again if successful my hope is to have another movie room to show off even more independent movies…

 

Guest list:

Todd Sheets

Brian Paulin

Thomas Berdinski

Jim Roberts

Eliza Jayne

Steve Rudzinski

Justin M. Seaman 

Zane Hershberger

 

Nick Charles

Terrence Main

 

All are welcome to the Grossfest event and if you have questions or want more details about the hotel go to www.grossfest.com or the Grossfest Facebook group page. Otherwise I will see yinz all in less than six months on July 28th, 2018 at The George Washington Hotel in Washington, Pa.

 

P.S. Thank you to the people who are taking a chance and standing behind this event and putting their time and money into it.

 

#grossfest2018 , #grossfest

 

Thank yinz,

Tim Gross

The latest announcements for Grossfest!

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For our fourth guest announcement for Grossfest, I would like to introduce a young and upcoming author who has written two books recently “Soul of Fire” and “The Hatred Within”. A huge horror movie fan and the tattoos to prove it he consumed himself with writing these first two books and creating something readers were afraid to put down without finishing it to the end. His excitement and passion for not just the horror genre but for writing is something horror fans will be drawn too when meeting him. This is why it’s my pleasure to introduce author Terrence Main and expect more to come from this young man.

For our fifth guest announcement for Grossfest, “Is a man usually seen as the half-human/half-sasquatch movie mascot “Sascratch”? Probably he is best known for writing/directing the bodily-fluid-humor-infused Italian horror homage “The Italian Zombie Movie” a few years back. Since then, he’s been a busy indie horror film contributor, producing, composing soundtracks, editing horror features and creating miniature effects – Next up for Sascratch is a new feature “The Giant Rubber Monster Movie 2” – homage to giant monster TV shows like “Johnny Sokko’s Flying Robot”, scheduled for a 2018 release!” You can call this person the “Swiss Army Knife” of independent filmmaking and Michigan proud. His imagination is absolutely endless and his creations are brilliant as I would like to introduce Thomas Berdinski.

For our sixth guest announcement for Grossfest 2018 and his first ever convention appearance as a guest is a filmmaker that has had me excited about his films since I met him as a teenager working on an untitled film at the time. This kid showed me photos of movie shoots he had been doing that I described as something as impressive as Peter Jackson’s early work! No bullshit I told everybody about him and his movie until I had it in my hands… The film was “Welcome to Deer Creek” which in my review I called it “Dead Alive at a corn festival!” It was an absolute beautiful gorefest. He has gone on to make other films such as “Tonight You Die” and “Happy Horror Holocaust”. This filmmaker is proof of why I will watch anything in hopes of finding that next great filmmaker horror fans will know and love. His name is Jim Roberts and this announcement is something I have always dreamed about doing for the mere reason I believe Jim has the talent and passion to give horror fans something very cool every time out.

#grossfest

#grossfest2018

For more details on the event, guests, or hotel go to http://www.grossfest.com