Gross Movie Reviews #512

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Gross Movie Reviews #512

 

Curse of the Blind Dead (DVD) – Many years ago these Knight Templars are holding a ritual that includes a pregnant woman and a symbol that is not about God. The ritual is so rudely interrupted by some God-fearing villagers and the Templars are of course blinded and sentenced to death! It’s now present day Eye-talian apocalypse and a man and daughter are traveling through the woods trying to get to a location that claims salvation? They are jumped by a few marauders but saved by some very serious weirdo survivors that say, “Come to our community.” Soon they find out the weirdo priest and survivors that follow him want the unborn child from the daughter because they are preparing for the ritual of the Templars. Oh by the way the Templars back years ago claim they were trying to stop the apocalypse? Bad news the father cuts his thumb off to get out of some cuffs and save his daughter and escape, the other baby that was for the ritual is still-born, and the blind zombie Templars are now pissed! A gory mess happens as they massacre the community as the daughter gets away and eventually finds the salvation they were looking for only to understand there is no escaping the Templars prophecy. First, this isn’t a remake, reboot, or whatever just some folks that were fans of the series. Second, I am not a fan of the original series but glad I gave this one a chance because I like the whole post-apocalyptic storyline and tying it in with the Templars. Not all the effects are great but I was surprisingly happy with this feature and hope there is another soon as I give it 3 stars.

Marley’s Revenge The Monster Movie (VHS) – A super low budget film that was released sometime in 1989 that centers around two gentlemen trying to illegally get two relatives into the country. But the two dudes are mistaken for drug smugglers by the local rednecks and leaving them for dead on an island. Of course this doesn’t go as planned as Marley one of the two relatives on the island that are trying to get into the U.S. loses his shit and conjures a dinosaur and an army of zombies! This sets up the rest of the film where the two gentlemen are trying to escape the island in hilarious fashion by going by an “Africa Dan” book. Watch the movie the Africa Dan part is hilarious as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Sea Fever (On Demand) – An Irish student of Marine Biology is urged to take a trip on a fishing vessel to get her hands dirty in her field by her professor. Once out on the water searching for its next catch the boat hits something mysterious. The something is a large creature with tentacles that stay connected to the boat as the crew panics slightly they are able to get loose. But then strange things begin to happen to the crew as they are becoming infected with something, a parasite. Now they fight among each other as they slowly die whether they should go back to port and expose everyone else? It’s a slow burn film that is neither bad or good more like meh as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Hanukkah (DVD) – It opens up with a man on December 8, 1993 who has slaughtered people during the “Festival of Lights” or Hanukkah but never got to finish. 36 years go by and someone has decided to pick up the killing spree during the Jewish holiday. Some Jewish friends who are not exactly celebrating the Jewish holiday become the targets of this sadistic killer. ‘Hanukkah’ has a wonderful cast to kill for but this holiday horror film is such a misstep as it drags on too long and I was expecting more from the crew behind it. Also there are weird delays during dialogue and a few important scenes that don’t exactly make a lick of sense? Super disappointed with the film and another example of you can have an all-star cast but that doesn’t mean you’ll have an all-star movie as I give it a ½ star.

 

The Las Vegas Serial Killer (DVD) – Always enjoy checking out a cheesy Ray Dennis Steckler feature. This time around Cash Flagg has a story about a man (John Glick) who six years ago couldn’t stop himself from strangling women on the strip. Mr. Glick gets released from prison in present day 1987 as the parole board claims lack of evidence for putting him behind bars. Of course it doesn’t take long for John to go back to his bad habit. But what is kind of funny there is two random dudes who decided to drive to Vegas to stalk some women who are getting the blame for the recent killings. After lots of stock footage John Glick gets his in the end when he runs into the two weirdos during another purse snatching! Yes, I know Steckler’s movies can be in bad taste and the full of stock footage but there is always a certain charm to his work and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

City of Vampires (DVD) – A film from early on in filmmaker Ron Bonk’s career about vampires. This S.O.V. film takes place in a small city of Braddock where the population has dropped dramatically in the past three years. A young man named Sam heads to the broken down town of Braddock looking for his girlfriend and answers to her disappearance. Once there he soon understands what the problem is and it is vampires as they drinking the population dry. Sam must survive the night if he wants answers gets help when he stumbles into a fortified home owned by Max. The young woman Max refuses to leave and fights the vamps every night. Sam must defeat the leader of vamps named Legion in order to get his girlfriend back but this isn’t gonna be easy, but Max is more than willing to help with her stash of weapons. No budget, some bad acting, but still some fun for S.O.V. nerds that wanna check out one of the first things Mr. Bonk ever made as I give it 2 stars.

 

Fatal Games (DVD) – Falcon Academy of Athletics is a school for some of the best athletes who are trying to make it to the Olympics. After the latest competition where the school did very well the students begin training for Nationals. But someone wearing a dark track suit and a javelin begins killing the young people. There is a weird steroid and synthetic drugs storyline to try to give the film depth but you won’t get over the javelin hits people like it came out of a harpoon gun! This film isn’t good by any means but this slasher is for people like me that need to see that hidden 80s film at least once just because as I give it 1 star.

 

I’m God (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst is back at it again with another short film that runs about 8 ½ minutes long. The plot is about a man who believes he is God and claims he got bored in heaven and came to live among humanity. But a doctor refuses to believe causing issues for supposed God. I really liked the concept and I know Mr. Brocklehurst does some great work with his short film projects. This is one project I would have liked to see him flesh out a little more as there seem to be more story to tell about this character as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Peninsula (On Demand) – So we got a sequel to the wonderful zombie film ‘Train to Busan’, the film picks up four years later. Any bordering country has a blockade up and does not allow anyone to enter South Korea because of the viral outbreak. A former soldier like a lot of misplaced Koreans lives in Hong Kong and down on his luck. A shady dude he does things for gives the ex-soldier a mission of entering the zombie-infested peninsula for a truck that has 25 million U.S. dollars in the back of it safely waiting. If he retrieves it he is rich, if not he is most likely zombie food as the zombies still roam the area. Without spoiling too much I will describe the film has elements that cross between ‘Land of the Dead’ and ‘Escape from New York’ but keeps the heart of the first film. Wonderful zombie stuff again horror fans as this fast-paced sequel pleases me much so that there could be another entry into this series like ‘REC’?! I give the bad ass international zombie movie 4 stars all the way.

 

In Search of Darkness: A Journey into the Iconic 80s Horror (Shudder) – Another great documentary about 80s horror of course. But this one is 4 ½ hours long as it breaks down 1980 to 1989 with different writers, filmmakers, etc. as they dip their toes into sub-genres of horror and what made the decade so much fun. I am glad Shudder got a hold of this for a lot of us horror fans to check because that $50 price tag everyone saw early on was just not gonna happen. Some of the stories have been told before but there are still a few gems to enjoy for the horror nerds to enjoy as I give it 3 stars.

 

Force to Fear (Festival screener) – One of the most anticipated independent films of 2020 is finally here. We get this retro action film where a couple so-called cops are torturing a drug dealer is interrupted by so-called twenty-somethings who break into the abandoned school to party. The party ends up to be cover for these party goers who track down criminals to be arrested but their latest target or unknown assassin known as “the target” is prepared to take out all involved. Everything goes south when one of the young criminal hunters die and they are all locked in the building. Now everyone left must fight for their lives against “the target’ that has body armor on and has some bad ass fighting skills! Zane Hershberger and Chad Bruns have done a wonderful job of crafting an action filled independent film that has some cool fighting scenes that are not done without a fully committed cast. Those fight scenes done by the cast were just a delight to watch and might make some filmmakers jealous of the work that was done. Kudos to all of the actors involved in this project as it has that charm of finding that cool direct-to-video action film I enjoyed finding in the early 90s at the video store. ‘Force to Fear’ is a strong, fun, and an impressive independent gem! ‘Force to Fear’ is the type of project that may get overlooked because when talking “independent” it is usually referring to low budget horror. Stop and go no further as you may find this to be the diamond in the rough of the independent genre in 2020 as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #359

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Gross Movie Reviews #359

 

By Tim Gross

 

Marley’s Revenge: The Monster Movie (VHS/DVD-R) – A low budget not so fun mess is the best way to describe this oddity. Apparently some dumb rednecks of a coastal town keep track of drug dealers and kill them. The rednecks mistaken two guys for drug dealers, they are actually trying to rescue relatives of the one from their native country… Details are scarce in this flick but what you need to know after a voodoo priest’s wife is killed by rednecks he brings the dead back to life and boring hilarity ensues if that is possible? I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Spasms (DVD) – Peter Fonda plays a parapsychologist who gets wrapped up in some zany snake cult in 1982. The movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but don’t let that stop you from witnessing a giant snake killing people on a college campus. And there is snake vision of course always an added bonus feature. I give the weird flick 2 stars.

 

The Boy (Chiller Channel/Theater) – An almost two hour set up of a man and his child living and trying to keep an old motel alive. Not much goes on there and not much business but a slow burn of watching a boy progress into a murderer is your thing? This is your movie. Not great, not horrible, just more disappointing for me as I thought there would be more to it after watching the trailers and Chiller Channel having a good track record. I give it 2 stars as I most likely will never revisit this flick.

 

Willow Creek (DVD) – So apparently Bobcat Goldthwait saw “Blair Witch Project” and decided he could use that movie concept for Bigfoot. Did it work… not really? I was into the couple being excited by trying to go to the original site of the Bigfoot footage that was captured in 1967 and trying to gather their own footage. But you lost me when yinz decided to set up a camera in a tent for 10 to 15 straight minutes pointing to the couple and just having sounds being made. Not giving away the ending to any that is interested but my “Blair Witch” reference most likely already has. It just seemed like another bad extended trailer for a “Paranormal Activity” movie? Bobcat I respect you dude but please go get into another “Police Academy” reunion movie sir. I give this flick 1 star.

 

Killer Party (Vimeo) – A group of filmmakers that go by the name “FuckYeah1990s” have made a short film and using a crowd funding website to possibly make the short into a feature length horror film. A masked skateboarder goes on a murderous rampage in a town where many hate skateboarders, make friends pay for Taco Bell, but they love their ‘Shaq Fu’ video game. I’m in! I laughed my ass off at the slaughter and enjoyed the humor of the short film. It reminded me of a younger Rick Fusselman and DSK-Productions and I could not get enough of those guys as I loved their independent films. So I give this project 3 out of 4 stars and wish the group lots of luck with the feature and hope to see it! More details go to: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/killer-party-feature-film#/story

 

Atari: Game Over (DVD) – A fun nerdy documentary about what ever happened to the Atari 2600 console and why the game E.T. killed it… supposedly. Not too long ago this story popped up on all the social media sites about where Atari may have dumped all the returned and unbought E.T. games from the early 80s and all this hoopla about how it killed it. Sorry but if you were growing up in the 80s like I did this was interesting. I was an Atari kid and then Nintendo and it did seem like overnight Atari 2600 disappeared. This documentary explains what actually happened and why while documenting some video game nerds going around a desert dumping area digging up garbage looking for the games. Or just finding mercury-laced pigs! Great documentary and even entertaining if you were not a kid of the 80s as I give it 3 stars.

 

My Brother Has Bad Dreams (VHS/DVD-R) – The 1974 film is known to most fans as “Scream Bloody Murder” but don’t get it confused with the 1973 film of the same title which could explain the title change to begin with. But our little weird film is about a young man named Karl who you learn is mentally handicapped. This happened when he was a child and witnessed his father killing his mother. Now Karl tries to pass the time fishing and bathing naked at the lake while his sister tries to figure out bills. Now this isn’t when Karl is having weird dreams that affect him to start talking to a mannequin and calling it his mother in a Norman Bates kind of way! Creepy and weird in that after school 70s TV special kind of way until Karl loses complete touch with reality, snaps, kills his sister Anna and her new boyfriend as he believes it time for him to go on a road trip. The film has one of the more trippy and twisted endings that I have ever seen and not totally know what to make of it but give it credit it was different. I give the film 2 stars.

manos-the-hands-of-fate-bluray-e1437771316259

Manos The Hands of Fate (Blu-ray) – Well Manos has finally got the special treatment from the fine folks at Synapse Films. Now if it was warranted or not is up for debate as many declare this film to be the “worst film ever made”. I am sure “Troll 2” fans will not agree but that never stopped many horror hosts from making fun of this 1966 cult film for many years on their late night programs. That aside Synapse and company go to great lengths of putting together the most complete package for fans of this very odd cultish movie. By some chance you have never witnessed this wreck, carnage of so-called movie it is about a family getting lost on the backroads of Texas. They finally pull over to a strange cabin to be greeted by an even stranger character named “The caretaker”. There is no phone, no mechanic, and no nothing except the caretaker telling the couple “the master” will be pleased to see them. Weird shit keeps happening outside but never seen and then you have long scenes of Manos’ wives fighting and blaming the caretaker for problems. But if possible once the master becomes a part of the film it just gets weird, a little boring, and not sure exactly what they were trying to do with the film. For me I was never a fan but never said it was horrible because believe me I have seen much worse shit that people call a film. If you are a DVD-extra nerd and enjoy tidbits about weird horror movies like I do then you will be beyond pleased with the package Synapse has put together. And amazed what they have done with the picture quality of the movie itself. Entertaining stuff for a cultish film worth putting on your next shopping list as I give the movie 1 star but the full package 3 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

Mosquito-Blu-ray

Mosquito (Blu-ray) – Thanks to Synapse Films for digging this low budget 1995 classic up! Alien aircraft crashes in the woods and a mosquito bites a dead alien. Poof! Giant mutated mosquitoes flying around the woods. We are introduced to this by a guy and his girlfriend hitting one on the road and it exploding to pieces. They limp the car to a motel and try to get it fixed meanwhile we are introduced to a bumbling park ranger trying to fog out the skeeters around the park. A dude who studies meteors and is searching the woods for the one that fell the other day. And Gunnar Hansen with a ponytail and two brothers who have missed their exit and now are lost in the middle of the woods. Soon all characters come together after a horrific night of giant mosquitoes killing all the campers in gory fashion. The survivors try to band together and save the world from mutating mosquitoes in this Gary Jones directed low-budget 50s inspired big bug flick. And it doesn’t hurt to Gunnar Hansen slicing and dicing mosquitoes with a big chainsaw! Synapse Films of course does their best in not only cleaning up the original film but giving fans a great documentary on the film and adding in a commentary and deleted scenes. I have always been a fan of this low budget monster bug movie and now seeing it 20 years later on Blu-ray may have improved the entertaining experience that much more as I am thankful for that. I give the movie 3 stars and the Blu-ray package 4 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.