Gross Movie Reviews #512
Curse of the Blind Dead (DVD) – Many years ago these Knight Templars are holding a ritual that includes a pregnant woman and a symbol that is not about God. The ritual is so rudely interrupted by some God-fearing villagers and the Templars are of course blinded and sentenced to death! It’s now present day Eye-talian apocalypse and a man and daughter are traveling through the woods trying to get to a location that claims salvation? They are jumped by a few marauders but saved by some very serious weirdo survivors that say, “Come to our community.” Soon they find out the weirdo priest and survivors that follow him want the unborn child from the daughter because they are preparing for the ritual of the Templars. Oh by the way the Templars back years ago claim they were trying to stop the apocalypse? Bad news the father cuts his thumb off to get out of some cuffs and save his daughter and escape, the other baby that was for the ritual is still-born, and the blind zombie Templars are now pissed! A gory mess happens as they massacre the community as the daughter gets away and eventually finds the salvation they were looking for only to understand there is no escaping the Templars prophecy. First, this isn’t a remake, reboot, or whatever just some folks that were fans of the series. Second, I am not a fan of the original series but glad I gave this one a chance because I like the whole post-apocalyptic storyline and tying it in with the Templars. Not all the effects are great but I was surprisingly happy with this feature and hope there is another soon as I give it 3 stars.
Marley’s Revenge The Monster Movie (VHS) – A super low budget film that was released sometime in 1989 that centers around two gentlemen trying to illegally get two relatives into the country. But the two dudes are mistaken for drug smugglers by the local rednecks and leaving them for dead on an island. Of course this doesn’t go as planned as Marley one of the two relatives on the island that are trying to get into the U.S. loses his shit and conjures a dinosaur and an army of zombies! This sets up the rest of the film where the two gentlemen are trying to escape the island in hilarious fashion by going by an “Africa Dan” book. Watch the movie the Africa Dan part is hilarious as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.
Sea Fever (On Demand) – An Irish student of Marine Biology is urged to take a trip on a fishing vessel to get her hands dirty in her field by her professor. Once out on the water searching for its next catch the boat hits something mysterious. The something is a large creature with tentacles that stay connected to the boat as the crew panics slightly they are able to get loose. But then strange things begin to happen to the crew as they are becoming infected with something, a parasite. Now they fight among each other as they slowly die whether they should go back to port and expose everyone else? It’s a slow burn film that is neither bad or good more like meh as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Hanukkah (DVD) – It opens up with a man on December 8, 1993 who has slaughtered people during the “Festival of Lights” or Hanukkah but never got to finish. 36 years go by and someone has decided to pick up the killing spree during the Jewish holiday. Some Jewish friends who are not exactly celebrating the Jewish holiday become the targets of this sadistic killer. ‘Hanukkah’ has a wonderful cast to kill for but this holiday horror film is such a misstep as it drags on too long and I was expecting more from the crew behind it. Also there are weird delays during dialogue and a few important scenes that don’t exactly make a lick of sense? Super disappointed with the film and another example of you can have an all-star cast but that doesn’t mean you’ll have an all-star movie as I give it a ½ star.
The Las Vegas Serial Killer (DVD) – Always enjoy checking out a cheesy Ray Dennis Steckler feature. This time around Cash Flagg has a story about a man (John Glick) who six years ago couldn’t stop himself from strangling women on the strip. Mr. Glick gets released from prison in present day 1987 as the parole board claims lack of evidence for putting him behind bars. Of course it doesn’t take long for John to go back to his bad habit. But what is kind of funny there is two random dudes who decided to drive to Vegas to stalk some women who are getting the blame for the recent killings. After lots of stock footage John Glick gets his in the end when he runs into the two weirdos during another purse snatching! Yes, I know Steckler’s movies can be in bad taste and the full of stock footage but there is always a certain charm to his work and for that I give it 2 stars.
City of Vampires (DVD) – A film from early on in filmmaker Ron Bonk’s career about vampires. This S.O.V. film takes place in a small city of Braddock where the population has dropped dramatically in the past three years. A young man named Sam heads to the broken down town of Braddock looking for his girlfriend and answers to her disappearance. Once there he soon understands what the problem is and it is vampires as they drinking the population dry. Sam must survive the night if he wants answers gets help when he stumbles into a fortified home owned by Max. The young woman Max refuses to leave and fights the vamps every night. Sam must defeat the leader of vamps named Legion in order to get his girlfriend back but this isn’t gonna be easy, but Max is more than willing to help with her stash of weapons. No budget, some bad acting, but still some fun for S.O.V. nerds that wanna check out one of the first things Mr. Bonk ever made as I give it 2 stars.
Fatal Games (DVD) – Falcon Academy of Athletics is a school for some of the best athletes who are trying to make it to the Olympics. After the latest competition where the school did very well the students begin training for Nationals. But someone wearing a dark track suit and a javelin begins killing the young people. There is a weird steroid and synthetic drugs storyline to try to give the film depth but you won’t get over the javelin hits people like it came out of a harpoon gun! This film isn’t good by any means but this slasher is for people like me that need to see that hidden 80s film at least once just because as I give it 1 star.
I’m God (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst is back at it again with another short film that runs about 8 ½ minutes long. The plot is about a man who believes he is God and claims he got bored in heaven and came to live among humanity. But a doctor refuses to believe causing issues for supposed God. I really liked the concept and I know Mr. Brocklehurst does some great work with his short film projects. This is one project I would have liked to see him flesh out a little more as there seem to be more story to tell about this character as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Peninsula (On Demand) – So we got a sequel to the wonderful zombie film ‘Train to Busan’, the film picks up four years later. Any bordering country has a blockade up and does not allow anyone to enter South Korea because of the viral outbreak. A former soldier like a lot of misplaced Koreans lives in Hong Kong and down on his luck. A shady dude he does things for gives the ex-soldier a mission of entering the zombie-infested peninsula for a truck that has 25 million U.S. dollars in the back of it safely waiting. If he retrieves it he is rich, if not he is most likely zombie food as the zombies still roam the area. Without spoiling too much I will describe the film has elements that cross between ‘Land of the Dead’ and ‘Escape from New York’ but keeps the heart of the first film. Wonderful zombie stuff again horror fans as this fast-paced sequel pleases me much so that there could be another entry into this series like ‘REC’?! I give the bad ass international zombie movie 4 stars all the way.
In Search of Darkness: A Journey into the Iconic 80s Horror (Shudder) – Another great documentary about 80s horror of course. But this one is 4 ½ hours long as it breaks down 1980 to 1989 with different writers, filmmakers, etc. as they dip their toes into sub-genres of horror and what made the decade so much fun. I am glad Shudder got a hold of this for a lot of us horror fans to check because that $50 price tag everyone saw early on was just not gonna happen. Some of the stories have been told before but there are still a few gems to enjoy for the horror nerds to enjoy as I give it 3 stars.
Force to Fear (Festival screener) – One of the most anticipated independent films of 2020 is finally here. We get this retro action film where a couple so-called cops are torturing a drug dealer is interrupted by so-called twenty-somethings who break into the abandoned school to party. The party ends up to be cover for these party goers who track down criminals to be arrested but their latest target or unknown assassin known as “the target” is prepared to take out all involved. Everything goes south when one of the young criminal hunters die and they are all locked in the building. Now everyone left must fight for their lives against “the target’ that has body armor on and has some bad ass fighting skills! Zane Hershberger and Chad Bruns have done a wonderful job of crafting an action filled independent film that has some cool fighting scenes that are not done without a fully committed cast. Those fight scenes done by the cast were just a delight to watch and might make some filmmakers jealous of the work that was done. Kudos to all of the actors involved in this project as it has that charm of finding that cool direct-to-video action film I enjoyed finding in the early 90s at the video store. ‘Force to Fear’ is a strong, fun, and an impressive independent gem! ‘Force to Fear’ is the type of project that may get overlooked because when talking “independent” it is usually referring to low budget horror. Stop and go no further as you may find this to be the diamond in the rough of the independent genre in 2020 as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
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