Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

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Two new episodes with our new podcast partner John!

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On this historic episode we finally fill the vacant spot left when Cory G. turned into a ghost and vanished with our Cinema Wasteland buddy John Shatzer.   Alone with the new host he will be chatting about a sleazy William Shatner joint in IMPULSE. Kyle runs down a great mid 2000 monster / virus jam in SPLINTER.  And Tim chats up the Blumhouse flick HAPPY DEATH DAY.  Also, we run John through the gauntlet of questions.  We got football chat (naturally).  We discover the identity of Super Host.  And in sad news we get an insight into the Pittsburgh church shooting.  So Download this episode or the IRS will audit us.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we will be breaking down 3 more movies.  The first being what happens when a college professor takes to the mountains with his class to hunt Bigfoot in 1980’s NIGHT OF THE DEMON… (Spoiler Alert) someone gets his dick ripped off.  Then we travel to 1970’s gritty New York to hunt bust kung fu moves on a spirit possessed CHUD in DEVIL’S EXPRESS starring WARHAWK TANZANIA!  Then finally we get new women in prison flick in AMAZON HOT BOX starring the great Ellie Church.  We also answer all the questions that were fit to print, go through the news, and mull over a ton of other topics, you know, as we want to do.  

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

Gross Movie Reviews #453

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Gross Movie Reviews #453

 

Night of the Demon (YouTube/DVD) – A professor and his students are studying the Bigfoot and its legend behind it head out to the woods. In these woods there are stories of Bigfoot sightings they are trying to investigate to decide for themselves if it is just a hoax? Along the way the professor tells the stories that have told about encounters with Bigfoot in these woods that include: Bigfoot airplane spinning a camper and ripping a dude’s dick off! Even though Bigfoot looks like a giant Irish setter that doesn’t stop him from fucking up some Girl Scouts, having Bigfoot vision like Predator, and apparently Bigfoot was so horny he rapes a young lady in the woods. Some hilarious and entertaining shit that is worth revisiting folks as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Devil’s Express (YouTube) – Some crazy ass mid-70s exploitation that involves a martial arts master, a New York street gang, and a Chinese demon that hangs out in the subway system. People are beginning to die in the subways after this master… Luke comes back home from China and this demon follows him some way, somehow. After his best friend is killed by the demon not a street gang Luke takes it upon himself to seek out the entity and end it. The films starts off slow but stick with it as some entertaining shit gets thrown screen in the second half of the film. I give this flick 3 stars.

 

No Escape Room (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Karen and her father get one weekend a month together and Karen is in her teenager stage of not caring what parents want. When their car breaks down and unsure of what to do until it gets fixed they decide to go a small town “Escape Room”. Karen’s friends have talked about it and dad feels this is a good way to bond. Once there they are with a few other people and the game begins as they only have 60 minutes to get through the spooky house. As they search for keys to move from room to room some freaky things begin to happen and people playing go missing. A little above average horror film that makes you question if any of the events in the film actually happen or not at all? I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Dementia 13 (Remake/DVD) – Very surprised to learn there was a remake of the 1963 classic and this version sticks close to the original concept. An abusing rich husband is killed off by his beautiful wife. A couple weeks go by and the husband’s family arrives at the castle for a weird yearly memorial. The family never approved of the wedding but the wife did not care as she had plans with all the money. But the plot thickens when she killed soon after the family arriving by a hooded figure. A horror film about rich people’s problems with enough blood spilled and a twist to satisfy the curious viewer as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Amazon Hot Box (DVD) – A crowd-funded project about an innocent college student name Penny who is thrown into prison with a few other women for a minor misunderstanding. This prison isn’t a normal prison as it is all “Reform School Girls” inside and Penny is the prize. The island is called Rattica and Warden Inga Von Krupp runs the place in order to carry out her experiments. By the way the evil warden is played perfectly by Ellie Church. In her short career she is making an impact in cinema and people are taking notice. Anyway Krupp enjoys experimenting on the inmates. But Krupp is totally unaware Penny is a KS-13 agent who has been trying to infiltrate the prison to bring it down as another agent tries to break in. The government wants this illegal operation to be brought down. The film is a throwback of sorts to the ‘women in prison’ movies. It’s fun, entertaining, tries its best to hit all the right scenes, but outside Ellie Church’s performance the movie is average as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Sorority Slaughter House (DVD) – A project that stars Eric Roberts, directed by David DeCoteau, and written by Rolfe Kanesky that wasn’t produced by Full Moon somehow. Eric Roberts stars as a dean of a college long enough to commit suicide and have his spirit transferred to a clown doll. After a sorority girl played with his emotions the dean now 12 inches tall decides it is his time to go murder a few sorority girls. The movie gets a little dull in the sense we have seen this horror film one too many times but the highlight for me was I believe the movie was made at the same house in “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” and for that I will always enjoy David DeCoteau. It’s bad but a fun bad as I give it 2 stars and don’t forget to look for the nerdy girl using the clown as “an appliance with no quit”…

 

Truth or Dare (SyFy Channel/DVD) – No one cared except the select few cult horror fans know of the Tim Ritter film of the same until this past year where somehow we got two films of the same name but went different directions with the concept. This version goes the twisted route where they make up some simple movie rules for the game that teenagers play. Thirty some years later after a game of Truth or Dare went very tragic some college kids rent the place where it took place and decide to play the game and party. But the game gets out of control quickly as they all get upset with each other and begin to get injured or die because they didn’t do the dare. A demon within the home waits for that certain group of people to latch on and not let go until they all die. Wasn’t expecting much from the movie but was much better than it should have been as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scream for Help (DVD) – This weird version of “The Stepfather” and “ABC After School Special” is pretty sleazy and written by Tom Holland in 1984. A 17 year old Christie Cromwell believes her new step father is trying to kill her and her mother. Christie always felt Paul Fox was good looking enough to steal her mother away but had a feeling he wanted her money more. Since no one believes Christie she goes on a crusade to convince her mother he is cheating on her. Once Christie has proof and her mother does believe her, Paul Fox and another couple who are supposed to be brother and sister decide it is time to purge these two! This weirdo flick gets 2 stars and little known fact is the film was only released on DVD within the past few months.

 

Beyond Atlantis (YouTube) – Sid Haig in an early 70s flick as a pimp who finances a trip for treasure on an island where they encounter natives with big ass eyeballs and a woman that must reproduce! No need to say more as I give it 3 stars.

 

Death Machines (DVD) – An Asian woman and her three assassins have taken over a sleazy city. If you want to put out a hit on someone you must go through her now as her unstoppable assassins cannot be killed. But off course the three men are getting restless with the dragon lady so they kill her and grab a train ticket. Not a whole lot to the film but it does have some entertaining parts as I give it 2 stars.

 

Blood Lake (YouTube/VHS) – A really bad shot-on-video slasher flick about a group of people who head out a vacation spot for some partying. The party is cut short when a deranged killer shows up to start killing people in the group. The acting is bad, the lighting is bad; I think I do better camera work, so I think I really enjoyed this bad movie as I am Tim Gross and I give it 2 stars.

 

13 Ghosts (DVD) – A classic horror from 1960 about a family who inherits a supposedly haunted mansion. The mansion is a home to ghosts that their relative brought from all over the world. Even though the family is haunted by the restless spirits there are even more evil forces at work here trying to get the money that is hidden within the home? I give the classic 3 stars.

Dick Johnson and TommyGun vs. The Cannibal Cop (Blu-ray) – With a title like that you always have my attention just because but it never hurts to have Debbie Rochon and Danny Hicks in your cast also. The movie opens with a woman being abducted in an alley way by a serial killer posing as a police officer. After a detective (TommyGun) gets a piece of info about this he is partnered up with a younger detective Dick Johnson. Together these two are given the go ahead to track down all leads on the case as details have already been leaked to the public. What helps the two unlikely partners is a book made of flesh that was found inside a dufflebag left in the alley way. In Latin the book explains that the killer will keep abducting victims and eating them until he has a hundred souls and he will become a god. As the two detectives set their differences aside to get deeper into the investigation the story takes a nice weird twist. A great buddy cop horror movie that reminds me a little of the 80s film “Dead Heat”. This independent flick has lots of laughs and blood and I can get behind that as I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars. For more details or to purchase the film go to: www.alternativecinema.com or www.facebook.com/AlternativeCinemaVideo .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019