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Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2025 list”

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So as usual the list isn’t your normal “best of” list for those of you that are only an average movie watcher… My movie watching habits can be all over the place at times but this year’s list of films is interesting as it includes: a couple of old friends in independent cinema prove there is still great stories to be told outside of the mainstream, some familiar names, killer sharks (and shark movies you most likely never heard of), bonkers sci-fi stuff, something different from Lovecraft, Addison Binek making me laugh my ass off like no one else, a remake that finally really surprised me, and a first time independent filmmaker doing something out of the norm and guess what folks it was awesome!

1)Side Effects May Vary (DVD) – A movie project I wish I would have seen sooner as even before we get into the review this will make it into my “Top Ten list of 2025”! So J.R. Bookwalter returns to the director’s chair for the first time in 23 years along with help from writer and star James L. Edwards. Glenn has been sick for several weeks during this pandemic and doesn’t exactly believe in the science behind the new vaccines even though his wife has gotten it. Because of his illness lingering and nagging from his wife Glenn heads to the doctor’s office to get treatment. But because of the illness he cannot be vaccinated but can be part of this experimental shot that can be given during illness. He takes it believing he is doing the right thing for himself and others. It isn’t long after Glenn experiences side effects of blurred/weird visions, then also after a very uncomfortable but hilarious sex scene with the wife his dong falls off! From there Glenn becomes a gooey monstrous mess with murderous tendencies. As Glenn’s best friend gets involved, cops get involved, weird things begin to happen as Glenn’s disgusting meltdown is absolutely glorious with a perfect ending to this social commentary. This independent project is a prime example of doing all the little things right equals’ success as JR and crew put on a Masterclass of “how to make your independent movie correctly”. This was a perfect pandemic film that many have tried and failed at making so congrats to JR and James for bringing this adventure to life as I will be talking about it for years. As I give this project 4 out of 4 stars I also have to say Brinke Stevens steals the show here kids as this is her best performance since ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-o-rama’! The DVD has a great Q&A for their opening night of the film done by none other Art Ettinger.

2) Don’t Mess with Grandma (Tubi) – This Tubi original is one of my first favs of 2025 as it stars Michael Jai White as Jasper and Billy Zane. The plot of the film besides Jasper throwing white people out a window the whole movie is Jasper taking care of his Grandma who lives in the middle of nowhere. Jasper everyday drives two hours to go take care of anything she needs while getting drunk doing it while running from Grandma’s dog who doesn’t like him. Well tonight things go a little sideways as three people show up in pig masks to burglarize Grandma’s house. Not going to happen in this laugh a minute film as Jasper defends the home quickly but soon sees there is friends or family in this case who have planned this job for a while as they won’t go away quietly. Basic but entertaining premise this 4 out of 4 stars film is “home invasion gone wrong” that includes Jasper singing a DIO song while a man dies in his arms, a person getting paper towels duct taped to their ass because they are missing part of an ass cheek, and how Jasper just wants Grandma to consider moving into the city. Again folks 4 stars all the way as it will be hard for any of yinz to not find this extremely entertaining and laugh the whole 80 minutes as I did.

3) Graveyard Shark (Blu-ray) – A legend about a half-shark/half-human thing stalking a graveyard has caught the eye of a Cryptids Hunter named Abby. Abby since she was a child has wanted to prove things like Sasquatch are real because her father was killed by a monster. Abby the so-called cryptozoologist is hired by a Dr. Lovnik who runs a Graveyard Shark survivors AA group. The good doctor would like Abby to chase down this legend and kill it for these survivors to have closure. Abby being super excited by this opportunity wastes no time investigating the Graveyard Shark legend and it is all because of a horny fisherman and his one night of passionate love making with a mermaid that made this creature possible. After witnessing the carnage Abby wants to end this “Street Sharks” look-a-like monster before it continues its bloody rampage but as usual there is more to this story such as: sasquatch sex, shark sex (doggie style and a young lady that believes her and the shark are a thing), and shark vs. werewolf for the final fight. WTF?! I am all in with this fun entertaining gory mess as I think I found another 2025 favorite that all of yinz need to witness as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Also kudos on that bad ass shark costume!!!

4) Jaws of the Shark (Blu-ray) – Oh, for the love of Rutger Hauer where has this 2012 no budget Swedish project been hiding from me? From second one this film was made with a smirk on their faces as scientists experiment with a shark and less than eight minutes into the film we have a dude in a bad shark costume running around with a chainsaw killing people! This 65 minute beauty had me laughing from beginning to end as the filmmaker didn’t just lean into the movie being bad, they know it and absolute had fun with it which makes this project brilliant. If the chainsaw doesn’t get you laughing? It doesn’t take long to watch the shark put a human on a spit roast, do horrible car stunts, or have a detective make terrible but hilarious jokes at a police lineup. With this creature on the loose it comes down to a survivor wearing a wig for no apparent reason (as most of the characters are) and a shark mercenary (he wears a gas mask the entire film) to track and kill this creature before it continues its slaughter! Oh my friends there is indeed a good chance this fine project ends up on my “Best of 2025 list” as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars.

5) Mickey 17 (Theater) – So venturing out of my comfort zone I took a chance on a film I wasn’t impressed by the trailers or who was starring in it. But I gave it a chance and I believe I found a film that many don’t understand (but are intrigued) or chooses too not understand, right now but I am telling you give this feature five years and there are going to be fans calling it a “cult film”. Or as I also like to point out this film hit too close to what is going on in society now? Anyway, a film based on a book about advanced tech as the film is set in 2054 where a human could be listed as an “expendable”. Mickey signs up for space travel where human experiments can be performed legally. The basic premise is scientists test various things on Mickey to see how it affects humans. When he dies the scientists reprint a new version of him out with his past memories. Now Mickey #17 is lying at the bottom of an ice pit waiting to be eaten by some horrible creature on a planet humans know little about. This is where the story actually begins forty minutes into the feature as Mickey 17 doesn’t die and walks back to the ship only to encounter Mickey 18. By intergalactic law there cannot be ‘multiples’! This of course knocks everything out of balance while Mickey 17 is tired of dying and finally for the first time in his life just wants to live. This is a great complex and completely outrageous script, wonderful cast that I just absolutely enjoyed with great delight! Yes, it will be on my list of ‘best movies of 2025’ but only time will tell if I am correct if this is the next “Buckaroo Banazi” cult like film of its time? Point is don’t sleep on this one movie watchers as I give this 4 stars as I try not to give up too much about the film as I want you to really experience this one! 

6) Killer Kabbage (DVD) – In a not so serious futuristic film with a hilarious concept has scientists in present day 2024 trying to solve the world’s food crisis with experiments on veggies, mostly cabbages! But 200 years in the future the world is a wasteland where a duo of Cage and Gibson look to survive by hunting killer veggies until they are approached by a government droid. The droid instructs the duo to head to a secret location as they are recruited as mankind’s last hope because of radioactivity reasons! The mission is to time travel to 2024, find the original experimental cabbage, and bring back a sample that started this apocalyptic war between killer cabbages and humans. Once the duo time travels and adjusts to present day of 2024 the fight is on as there is limited time before the war begins as they quickly find out the experiments are already out of control! This feels like a lost project from the early 90s from J.R. Bookwalter or the Polonia Brothers with a ‘Bad CGI Sharks’ vibe to it and I absolutely freakin loved it! Don’t be surprised if this pops up on my “Best of 2025 list” as this Indy feature had me laughing out loud several times as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as you had me at Killer Kabbage.

7) H.P. Lovecraft’s Celephais (Vimeo) – A short story of Lovecraft’s adapted to film by Michael Neel who edited and directed this 34 minute short film project. This might be a story that horror fans are not too familiar with as the usuals are: The Unnamable, Re-Animator, From Beyond, or even Dagon of which we have seen adapted to name a few. This version deals with an old man fascinated with a dream place/land called “Celephais” that he has been chasing down since he was seven years old. He travels his dreamland when he sleeps constantly as he believes this is home but along his travels he encounters many that are interested in him. This short story/short film is fascinating to me as it can be taken as many things? For me for instance this old man is dying or already right at the edge and his brain is taking him to where he always thought he belonged… before he crosses over in so many words if you believe in such things as the ‘beyond’ to just put it out there broadly. That is how I see it as I may experience something like that a few years back but the point is filmmaker Michael Neel and crew just nailed this project as it was well thought out, well shot, perfect use of locations, and just enough weirdness that I think Lovecraft fans will enjoy it. This short film is one of the best things I have watched in 2025 as it’s absolutely charming at the same time hypnotically amazing! For that my friends I have to give this short film 4 out of 4 stars.

8) Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

9) Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

10) I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews notables of 2025 (no order here) that should encourage you to check out and support…

The Emasculator (Blu-ray) – This newer SOV flick centers around a young woman named Cindy and her father who haven’t had the best relationship since the passing of Cindy’s mother. After another argument Cindy heads out on a date with a guy who has a whole other definition of a date as Cindy sadly learns the hard way. Cindy is raped and filmed to her father’s dismay in a hotel room and instead of listening to Cindy’s wishes of letting it go he takes upon himself for revenge with a tool used for castrating cattle. He doesn’t just want revenge but to mutilate these sick men. This SOV flick is a fun ride through sleaze, revenge, a love for a daughter, which the film has a sick twist that may leave you disliking all characters involved as it gave off Nailgun Massacre vibes to me. Just for that folks I got give this picture 3 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Wally Meets Popeye (DVD) – So leave it to the talented Indy filmmaker Steve Rudzinski to decide a fourth Popeye movie was needed in 2025! Wally Griswald returns in this feature where he has won another trip but this time to the island of…  Ohio? If you are a fan of Steve’s work you know the Wally character has been through a lot including Amityville (which there is a quick joke or two thrown in at the beginning). If you don’t know of Steve’s great filmography and like me must watch all the Popeye films, buckle up kids because this plays out like a live action old Scooby-Doo adventure without the dog and the gang! Wally excited for another free trip that somehow he has randomly won finds himself back on the detective job because of a green monster that has scared everyone away from the tropical island of Ohio. Years ago the same thing happened and the monster suddenly disappeared with help of an outsider. Now Steve and his buddy Rick who also just happens to be vacationing on the island need the help from the island’s famous sailor man Popeye. Popeye knowing of the monster has led him to convince the love of his life Olive Oyl to jump on his boat and travel to the other side of the island once he fixes it? Popeye knows all about this “Dawn Monster” legend because it keeps running away from him during fights. Its clear Popeye and the two detectives must team up to stop the reign of terror! Clarence Seybert III as Popeye and Carly Sonafelt Olive Oyl was some of the best casting of an Indy feature I have seen in years as their chemistry and handle of the characters jumps off the screen. Also there is this hilarious off script or maybe on script rant in the middle of the film between Wally and Rick that had me in almost tears laughing. Steve and crew made sure this tight low budget feature didn’t overstay its welcome, was an ass load of fun, entertaining as hell, and made sure its main characters Popeye and Olive were beyond exceptional so thanks to Steve not just continuing the “Wally” universe but giving another reason why Indy film fans should pay attention to the excellent work Mr. Rudzinski continues to do as I give this exciting project 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Cagey (DVD) – If you are looking for no budget, off the wall, has that lost 90s SOV feel then David Bachmeier (wrote, direct, and edits) has a new treat for yinz. Emily is a young woman who just got fired from her pizza delivery job and needs to make the rent soon. Desperation makes Emily take a leap of taking a housesitting gig for the weekend. Mark who hires Emily doesn’t let her in on the secret he has hidden there because he is trying to protect family. Along the way of this feature there are some possible (fake future?) movie trailers that oddly help the story to pace out well. Without saying too much about the plot some Indy fans will see this project as tasteless or even disturbing but most I believe will respect what they have witnessed. For me, this feature doesn’t feel forced, comes along organically, allowed me to relish the plot and also never trust a person in a pigeon mask as I got to give this movie 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Wolf Moon Rising (Vimeo) – Todd Sheets is one of the most respected filmmakers in the Indy genre and I just enjoy when he decides to make a movie that most wouldn’t even dream to attempt. I really do feel like someone said “werewolves in space” to Mr. Sheets and without hesitation decided the film needed to be made?! The film jumps right into action as it opens up with a military transport ship in trouble as werewolves have overrun the transport ship in a glorious bloodbath of an opening. With the ship in trouble and crew pretty much dead a survivor kicks the last werewolf into a cryo tube as she jumps in hers in hopes of survival. Another ship called Amberstar receives the distress call but must make it quick as the damage has left the transport ship in critical condition. The Amberstar crew works hard to bring aboard the cryo tubes with odd readings but wants to do the right thing of saving the two beings? The tubes open and within minutes the beast is loose again within the Amberstar crew dealing with the aftermath as their biggest worry of the “space crud” being released has come true. Now Mr. Sheets has said this film is the vein of Roger Corman, I go one step further as to me this film has the vibe of ‘The Terror Within’ from 1989 which was released by Concorde Pictures. Is the film perfect… no, but you got to outright respect a filmmaker that goes completely against the grain and makes a “werewolf in space” film but also makes it god damn entertaining so folks I gotta give this crazy ass idea of a movie 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Thank you Mr. Sheets for being an inspiration in the independent horror genre.

Special Needs Revolt! (Tubi) – This independent film is hilarious, made to make you feel awkward and very on par with today’s politics right now in 2025! Billy Bates is a guy with Down syndrome who is forced to live in a group home because his grandma “Is a bitch!” Billy’s words not mine. During a New Year’s Eve party Billy finally gets in the spirit of the event after seeing a candidate for President: Donald J. Kruger is going to run on the platform of getting rid of all the cripples. Billy slips on puke, hits his head, and wakes up three years later to find this moron Kruger is the president and has special needs people arrested on site. As Billy fights with authorities in public he escapes their custody in the town of Donville where he finds friends in hiding. These are people just like Billy hiding out from the new government and military as Billy decides it is time for a rebellion! Billy Bates leads a force of special needs people and wrestlers to capture President Kruger and expose him for the asshole he is. I absolutely enjoyed this film as I too have two special needs people in my life and there is a lot of possible awkward moments in the film for audiences who do not have anybody like Billy in their lives. I wish the 110 minute running was edited down as I believe the project would benefit greatly from it but don’t let that stop you from enjoying an excellently made film with a great cast that will make you squirm a little while watching it as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Creature from the Hillbilly Lagoon (DVD) – Oh this was a fun independent feature as to me it comes off as ‘Humanoids from the Deep’ remade as a comedy, on a low budget, with a great creature costume! This 2007 film features a story about a local professor and her students out on a field trip of sorts to test the local waterway for toxins. The reason for this is there have been reports of toxic dumping from a giant corporation years ago along with some recent toxic dumping by others. They want to know how polluted is it? There have been rumors of mutations but never proven. The field trip is going well until one of them is bitten by something mysterious underwater. As he slowly changes hillbillies roaming the shoreline are being slaughtered by a disgusting creature and if by some chance they survive the attack they become deformed and change. From beginning to end this project is hilarious with a great cast that plays up the hillbilly parts just right but the star has to be the impressive creature they cobbled together as I give this entertaining creature feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Violent Streets (DVD-R) – Another not released yet feature from Indy filmmaker Brad Sykes has unearthed another exciting project he made around 1994! This ambitious project isn’t so much a horror movie as its gang picture on no budget in the vein of 70s and 80s high school gang films. There are two small gangs who were friends at one point but now see things differently as they constantly battle for the upper hand on the other. It becomes personal when one of the battles between Orin and Kane is over a young woman Sara to see who gets to have her for their prize. But Sara isn’t having any of it even though her pals think she is just getting herself in more trouble of not going along with it. Now Orin and Sara must be on the run as this gang war is about to turn deadly. For no budget this was a very ambitious project but Sykes makes up with its gritty SOV style that gives the content a certain charm as the heart of the actors just going for it take after take makes for a very watchable piece of cinema that I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Worst film of 2025 and that is saying a lot for how many Amityville movies I have watched…

Booger (DVD) – The film is from 2023 but just hit all the streaming sites and is a complete turd! Anna loses her best friend Izzy who helped take care of this stray cat. Shortly after Izzy’s death the cat supposedly bites Anna, disappears, and Anna slowly goes through changes including her depression for her dead friend. Anna completely ignores her boyfriend, job, and life in general looking for this cat named ‘Booger’. The film is listed as a horror/comedy and I neither laughed nor seen anything horrifying other than wasting my fuckin 78 minutes watching it. A stupid young twenty something wants to act like a cat and at the end all is fine? This passes for some kind of a movie? I have seen movies that don’t even try but this so-called movie is insulting Indy filmmaking in general as this of course gets nothing except for already winning the award for being the worst film I have watched already in 2025. Sorry it’s not Meta, it’s not ironic, and it’s just fucking dumb!        

Gross Movie Reviews #690

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Infinite Santa 8000: Web Series (YouTube) – Before there was a full feature there was this holiday animated horror treat that was just mind blowing and thought it was time for a revisit for those of yinz that haven’t witnessed the awesomeness. The web series was conducted into 13 short episodes that ran a little over two minutes (a couple seconds less or more on a couple) paired with some bad ass thrashing music for the intro and outro. This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world a thousand years from now where all that is left is mutants and Robo people. Believed to be the only one left Santa lives a quiet life but he also must kill for food these days in order to survive these harsh future times. The mystical man is also a gun totting, machete wielding, flame throwing son of a bitch as mutants find ultimate death at his hands. But in a world with no hope a young girl named Martha comes into Santa’s life as they become quick friends. Unbeknownst to either Martha is a pawn used to get Santa out of hiding for an evil doctor to do experimentation on the fat jolly old fool for his magical powers of survival all these years. Santa and Martha escape the evil doctor’s clutches for now in search of a safe place in the wasteland but in this sadistic creature filled future there is nowhere to hide! The music is bad ass, the animation is wonderful, and after all these years the story still holds up as I always like to call this “Animated Santa in Mad Max world”. So this holiday season do yourself a favor and go watch this “FREE” web series on the YouTubes n’at to check out what some cool Indie folk did about 15 years ago as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part 4 (Blu-ray) – The popular Indie anthology series is back with a few stories and trailers to scare you. The first story called ‘Ejecdead’ focuses on a VHS tape brings a killer to life on Halloween when watched as a crazy horror fan tries to keep a Halloween tradition alive finds out the hard way after renting it. The second story ‘Haig’s Heart’ is about revenge as an owner of a chocolate bar factory gives away all his stock for Halloween as he poisoned it all. The third story ‘The Witch’s Curse’ revolves around sisters being witches and being slaughtered in 1969. Now their home has become part of a reality show for Halloween. The fourth story ‘Moonlight Massacre’ is about a young man being bitten by a werewolf then trying to deal with it. The trailers in-between stories were a lot of fun, my highlight of this whole project may have been ‘The Gravestalkers’ trailer as that looks to have a lot of potential if made into a feature? Anyhow everything was solid in this entire project but this anthology felt more forced than natural if it makes sense? Plus I have felt the last entry; Part 3 was the best of the bunch where everything finally came together. It’s possible this might be the time to put this Halloween tradition to bed as it may have run its course as I liked the effort this time around but this series may have peaked with the third film as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Hand that Feeds the Dead (Blu-ray) – This rare early 70s Euro film stars the infamous Klaus Kinski and up until recently was believed to be lost here in America until Full Moon gave it a proper release with subtitles over the past year or so. This time piece has a professor secluded to a mansion with his so-called wife where he kidnaps young women to perform experimental skin grafts to said wife in hopes of correcting her injuries she suffered in a fire ten years ago. As females from the village continue to disappear and a stranded couple at the mansion becomes curious with authorities Kinski’s character knows he must finish his work sooner than later. As usual Kinski is bigger than life on screen and sleazy as usual as this lost euro film will fill the black hearts of some horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Space Goblins (YouTube) – An animated short film that has a duo of space goblins who are bounty hunters that somehow feels like a lost idea from MTV’s ‘Liquid Television’ for those weirdos old enough to remember it. In this 26 minute galactic weirdness has the odd duo tracking down a criminal to a planet with a bar called “The Glory Pole” as long as they ain’t bitching about goblin life in space and paying taxes they always get their man or alien! An odd but hilarious project that could even be described as a dark episode of ‘Galaxy High’ Saturday morning cartoon as the space goblins scour the galaxy to bring in the crud for payment in hopes of bringing peace for all. This is a project has quite a lot of potential as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

The Mean One (Tubi) – Finally giving this a watch that is the horror version of ‘The Grinch’ oh I am sorry legally they are not allowed to call that as they call “it”, ‘The Green Monster’ or ‘The Mean One’. Cindy returns to her family home many years after her mother was supposedly killed by a green monster in a Santa suit on Christmas. With her appearance and wanting to celebrate Christmas in the town that doesn’t celebrate the holiday any longer she brings death as ‘The Green Monster’ reappears again. Of course the cops claim they don’t believe her and want Cindy to go away but after Cindy does training and becomes bootleg Lucy Lawless for a hot minute she is ready to go hunting for this creature. The film parodies ‘The Grinch’ from beginning to end but what I was looking for never happened unless you consider the green monster was supposed to be Santa Claus??? I wanted an explanation to this thing and how it existed, not a feature length horror parody that cannot legally use the name. I know it’s cruel but this was just above a large turd as I give it a ½ star.

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Gross Movie Reviews #654

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Street Trash (Amazon/remake) – I totally forgot this was even happening because it’s just one of those films that are too much of a “cult hit” to be remade or not enough people know about the original? But I kept an open mind especially since the dude that gave us the weird ass flick ‘Fried Barry’ this just made me curious in general. Anyway, set in Cape Town, South Africa where the homeless are growing and trying to fight back. Apparently the plan from the mayor is to exterminate the homeless with drones! Which makes them even more dangerous is a scientist on the mayor’s payroll has figured out the formula for the “Viper” liquid that is turned into a gas for the drones to use on the homeless. The gas will melt the homeless with no chance of survival. But the homeless have a plan to fight back in this gooey mess of a remake and that is cool by me as I give the remake project 3 stars.

12 to Midnight (Xumo Play) – Think about the title for a minute and know that this flick stars Robert Bronzi aka bootleg Chuck Bronson! Oh by the way spoiler alert instead of a naked dude killing nurses it’s a werewolf slaughtering people and that includes Detective Toth’s wife. Daniel Roebuck, Sadie Katz, Tito Ortiz round out the cast as Toth isn’t dealing with the death of his wife well and thrown off the force. But Toth is quickly brought back in as the serial killer is piling up bodies that resemble the murder of his wife. Now Toth goes tracking down a werewolf and drug dealers for revenge. Its cheesy, not exactly making a lot of sense, but its bootleg Chuck Bronson vs. werewolf so I give it 2 ½ stars.

Operation Blood Hunt (On Demand) – This werewolf film takes place during WWII in the South Pacific. The Reverend is a supernatural expert who used to be Special Forces that is wanted by the military to travel to this island in the South Pacific to investigate why a group of marines have disappeared? He and his group have 48 hours but they are warned it might be the Japanese Imperial Army they run into? Besides many slaughtered bodies, The Reverend and others find gold as the real reason some of the military brass wanted professionals to go in. This movie was disappointing as the trailer made it out to be lots of WWII werewolf fun instead we got lots of filler with a disappointing concept and costumes as I give it 1 star.

Terror of the Master (Fawesome) – Found an early 1998 SOV flick from a young Jeff Kirkendall that involves a young local news reporter Drew Thompson who feels she hasn’t had her chance just yet. During this thriller girls go missing and recently Drew seen a girl at her second job who was kidnapped in the latest of the local disappearances. Drew being the investigator along with her sister go probing around town and find two bank robbers have a connection to the missing girls. Soon after Drew is kidnapped and Drew learns the criminals made a deal with a vampire to protect and feed it as he will turn them. It is a rough around the edges SOV flick but has a certain thriller charm that SOV fans will eat up as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amp House Massacre (Tubi) – A movie where if you are over the age of 25 you will hate the characters immediately and enjoy their deaths as they happen. But there is a point to this folks as the story centers around Mario Stillwell, a social media influencer who started as a no one in 2020 and now is the biggest thing out there in digital land. He comes up with the idea of buying a mansion for all his friends to feel safe to party and influence (yes, I hate myself for just saying that). They all move in and things are going great with the likes, subscribes, and money until Mario dies at the one year anniversary party that was being live streamed. One year after Mario’s death the influencers’ friendship is fractured as they believe they are stale and need to bring in new money to rebrand. Soon as the new face shows up the house is locked down as the influencers have their deepest secret revealed and die horribly one by one. Surprisingly the movie is watchable for the mere fact you are probably going to root for many if not all to die as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Halloweenight (DVD) – A 2009 Indy film where Mark Polonia directs, John Polonia wrote, Jon McBride did the music, and Brett Piper did the effects. If you are an Indy fan do you even need to know what it’s about? Because I wanted to see it soon as I seen all that! So some local college students (the oldest ones on film ever) decide to mess with Creepy Harold’s scarecrow as a prank before their big Halloween party. Crazy Harold doesn’t take to kindly to this event and swears revenge as he steals a heart, performs a ritual, and then places it in his beloved scarecrow. Now prepared Crazy Harold sends his evil scarecrow to wreck the big party for his revenge. Also check out the wicked ass skeleton thing the scarecrow becomes at the end of the film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Hallow Gate (Blu-ray) – Terror Vision reaches deep into the grab bag of Tim’s teenage video rentals of 1989 with this Halloween cheapie that was released in 1988 and they gave it the special treatment. We begin with a young boy Mark at his Halloween party bobbing for apples with friends where his father takes offense and almost drowns the boy. Mark swears his hatred for Halloween and has a run-in with a young lady as a gas station attendant. After the dust settles a judge believes it would be in the best interest for Mark to stay with Grandma as long as he is taking his meds instead of being in prison. Mark is quietly reading one evening until he doesn’t take his meds, kills Grandma, and then orders costumes for his party. Some kids are convinced to deliver the costumes who become trapped by Mark as he dresses up for each kill at the mansion. One of my favorite death scenes in the Ray Di Zazzo flick is the slow moving tractor scene as it’s so hilariously slow. There are a couple interviews, commentary, and Shocktail hour. Now they have the cleaned up print and the original on this disc which the cleaned up version looks great but seems to have some low volume issues at the beginning of the movie as I give the package 3 stars.

Vigilant (YouTube) – That damn Phil Brocklehurst has made another short film as he never stops working. This short deals with a man who hears a voice that says “kill”. Is it justice, a dream, or is it something more as this man feels criminals should be put to death? An interesting concept that felt like it could be fleshed out more with same effect but this filmmaker has a certain style that is effective and leaves us viewers wanting more as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Trivial (DVD) – Indy vet James L. Edwards brings something different in this feature as an online game show yet seen by the public is hosted by Laurel Edmonds is about to go live with its first episode that applies “Revenge… Torture… Murder… “, according to the show’s opening. She has a partner that helps her kidnap unknowing victims and places them on the show. The contestants give a right answer they have a chance to move on but if they give a wrong trivia answer they must be punished. And three wrong answers mean death in this sadistic game show. Laurel lives to torture and only she can be right in this gritty sadistic underground streaming game show. This can be an uncomfortable watch for some as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Talk to Me (Blu-ray) – An Australian horror film where a group of friends have found the new high as they have found a something that allows them to conjure spirits. It is believed to be a party trick for friends to post on social media apps but it is believed when Mia and friends hit up a party where the game happens. It consists the person to hold this hand that may or may not been cut off a psychic that allows the person holding hands to see into the other side. It’s all fun and games for Mia and friends until it hits home when Mia’s mother is one of the spirits that visits but when you are left holding hands too long they will take you over. Such as a young kid who begins to smash his head in because the spirits have him and this causes Mia to become obsessed with speaking to her mother and learning if she really committed suicide. This film has the creepiness of ‘Flatliners’ and ‘The Innkeepers’ as it does the whole conjuring spirit thing right as I give the project 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Blood Feast 4K remake review

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Blood Feast (4K/remake) – I had no expectations going into this film because just like a lot of horror movie fans I felt this had been done already… ‘Blood Diner’ anyone?! Hell even ‘Blood Feast 2’ made a decade or two ago? But of course that didn’t stop anyone as an American family the Ramses headed to Paris six months ago to start up an American restaurant/diner thing. Owner Fuad Ramses and his diner are having tough times so he has been working a second job as night security dude at a museum. One morning Fuad has lost his pills which are critical to his health (according to Caroline Williams, the wife) and that night he witnesses Ishtar. Ishtar fascinates Fuad so much he goes to the library to do research on the goddess. Thus his research makes Fuad believe he has found the answer to his failings in Paris and it all starts with preparation for a giant feast that upcoming Saturday night with his family. Not only is he feeding on those he is killing but his family will also feast all in the name of Ishtar! There is no doubt the film went out of its way to be gory as hell. The cast and structure was great as Robert Rusler stole the flick with his performance that felt like he should have been in the 1963 original film as Fuad. Also it was great seeing an appearance of H.G. Lewis doing a YouTube thing giving backstory to Ishtar, a very tasteful gesture of a cameo. But my original stance on the film is still 2 out of 4 stars. Let me explain: If there was no original H.G. Lewis I think myself and other horror fans would have celebrated this release as soon as it was announced because this remake is solid and wonderful. But the biggest problem for any filmmaker is you are tackling something “historical” not only in minds of horror movie fans but just fans of “cinema”. So at least for me as I watch this version (as good as Robert Rusler was) I cannot get that original out of my mind let alone the over the top greatness called “Blood Diner” from the 80s. Hell, there is still a large portion of horror fans still learning of the legend of H.G. Lewis? This film I believe falls under the category “of it will be appreciated by horror fans in a decade or so after its release…” Also with this 4K version is the uncut version of the film, a ‘making of’ featurette, music video, red carpet premiere in 2018, promo teaser, and Scare cam. The full package itself I give 3 out of 4 stars and can be found through www.synapsefilms.com .

New episode of Bloodbaths podcast is up kids!

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We have three more flicks to talk about this week.  First Tim picks the remake of the Jamie Lee Curtis 80’s slasher straight from Tubi TERROR TRAIN 2022.  Next we have some naked cannibal campers in NAKED CANNIBAL CAMPERS, and finally we have a movie that Kyle retitled Underground fuck trolls from Detroit in BARBARIAN.  We also read all the news that is fit to speculate on. Answer your listener questions, and run down all your listener questions.  So download this episode or Richard Brake won’t be your neighbor.

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Gross Movie Reviews #586

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Sudden Death (YouTube) – My friend across the pond Philip Brocklehurst is back with another quickie film that isn’t so much horror related as serious… Love how all shot in one location and able to tell the story without a word being spoken as a lonely man sudden leaves this world and how depressing we being mere mortals can be? It’s short but shows off the filmmaker’s range and that to be effective not everything has to be a bloodbath as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Down and Out in Vampire Hills (Vimeo) – A hilarious and entertaining film from Craig Railsback and some Indy vets that concerns a certain Penelope Vampire Queen and her long time servant Harold. Times are rough these days as we know and Penelope and Harold who are already living out of tents are now being evicted from those. If that wasn’t enough thy have lost their investment in the Crypto world and now are forced to get jobs! The two try and try but unfortunate accidents follow them to every place of employment and all the vampire queen wants is a small home for her coffin and wardrobe so she doesn’t feel cramped. The short flick is entertaining as hell as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

Like Father, Like Daughter (YouTube) – So a newer filmmaker in Ken Brewer who is mostly known for his series of short films called “Death Park” takes a stab at a feature length film. This film hits the ground running as a father and daughter duo who was sentenced to an insane asylum after their murder spree waste no time breaking out to start a new one! The two individuals find themselves at a nature park and find a group tour to torture and kill along with a few random park visitors. Throw in a couple bumbling park officers, a bunch of running around, and a kill scene that seems like every two minutes and you have yourself a slasher with two serial killers. Anyway, even with overuse of the drone, some of the dumbest victims you will see in an independent film Mr. Brewer’s flick does have a very gritty entertaining charm to it. It also has the feel of an early 90s S.O.V. film that may help sell it to a small film company if the “Halloween stingers” are lifted? This film will find its audience at independent film convention circuit more than the mainstream as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Siege (DVD) – This 1983 Canadian exploitation flick also known as “Self Defense” is a film I have never knew about has recently gotten the Blu-ray treatment and is a treat for fans of films like “Tenement” and “Vigilante”. This gritty ass film takes place in 1981 Halifax, Nova Scotia where the police force has just gone on strike and slowly members of the community are doing two things: Boarding themselves in at night or running amok through the streets. Which bring us to a gang white degenerates who call themselves the ‘New Order or N.O.’ and first up on their list tonight is hitting up a gay bar and I mean hitting it hard. The film wastes no time making the viewer uncomfortable but also makes sure you are in for a fun film when one of the bar patrons escape during the battle (trying not to give away the goodies of this film). The leader, Cabe, of New Order demands his degenerates to search for this disgraceful human being as they put it. The club member finds a rundown apartment building in the middle of nowhere that’s occupied by a small group of people who want to do the right thing when confronted by these degenerates. The rest of the film the tone is set as it’s a fight to the death as both sides each is picked off one by one. The film is gritty, uncomfortable, entertaining as hell and glad this got the Blu-ray treatment so people like myself have a chance to learn about this film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Mark of the Vampire (DVD) – A 1935 Bela Lugosi flick that I thought I had seen before but hadn’t but damn glad I sat down to watch this hidden gem to me. It’s 1934 and in a small Czech village the people still believe in vampires including the coroner. Meanwhile in the castle up the hill N’at, Sir Karell is murdered and people believe its vampires except the inspector. The inspector believes its straight up murder and as he investigates let’s say there is some others planning what happens to the estate and the riches that come with it? The clever inspector sets up a trap to truly catch the murderer and solve the mystery. This is a fun one even by today’s ADD standards of movie viewers. Have a chance to check this one out? Do it as I give it 3 stars.

Messenger of Death (DVD) – I literally tripped over this Chuck Bronson 1988 thriller where he plays a Denver reporter Garret Smith who happens to be friends of the police chief and stumbles upon a massacre of a family in the mountains. Garret being the reporter he is innocently looks into the aftermath of the massacre and finds out this is a possible religious fight between two brothers who live outside the usual communities or off the grid. But when Garret and a reporter from a small nearby paper are almost killed a couple times Smith digs deeper and finds this is much bigger than anyone can believe? A fun thriller but a pooper of an ending as it just ends and leaves me wonder if it was the lack of money as this was at the end of the Cannon Group’s run in the 80s as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Deadstream (Shudder) – Shawn is an internet influencer who faces his fears and streams it. Immediately I am already annoyed this movie is gonna be dumb, lazy, and a waste of my time. But I was super wrong as Joseph Winter aka Shawn who is also a co-director and co-writer of the film plays one of the biggest douchebags in film perfectly. Shawn explains after some trouble six months back and losing all of his online sponsors he is back for one big streaming show. He is going to face his fear of ‘GHOSTS’ as he is going to explore and stay the night in a notorious haunted home called “Death Manor”. This will all stream live as Shawn goes through, set up cameras, and makes sure his fans call him out if he tries to flee the house. As Shawn sets up everything in the home he goes over the house’s paranormal history and the stories of those who died here. Shawn being the scared douchebag he is almost leaves several times from noises, etc. This is after he breaks a very important drawing in a closet and then runs into superfan Chrissy and this where this entertaining as hell horror film won me over big time as it takes another unexpected turn? Without spoiling too much the film finds a way to give you a splash of “Evil Dead”, talk cancel culture, a couple jump scares, give a wonderful hated douchebag character, and do a lot of kick ass practical effects!  Not only is this one of the best horror films of 2022 this makes me look forward to what Joseph Winter and Vanessa Winter have in store next for horror fans as they rock as I give this movie 4 stars and you will hear me talking about it again at the end of the year!

V/H/S 99 (Shudder) – The anthology series is back and as usual do things their own way as little clips of army men (which were fucking hilarious) is its own story that is the wraparound of the anthology. First film, which most likely is the only weak one of the bunch is about a group of friends referred to as R.A.C.K. who grew up on MTV of the 90s decide to enter an old burned out punk venue to practice their music only to awaken the all-girl dead band ‘Bitchkat’. This first entry felt like they tried way too hard but moving on to the second entry as they use the bootleg “Shrieker” monster from Charles Band in a segment where sorority girls take a pledge to a mortuary and convince her she needs to spend the night in a coffin. Third segment is about a game show called ‘Ozzy’s Dungeon’ that a flashback of the old Nickelodeon game shows of the 90s but in this one no one wins but a parent decides to take it next level when her child gets hurt. Fourth segment has teenage boys spying on the neighbor after one of them help her set up her webcam and this is where the army guy segment leads into. But it’s all fun for them to see her naked until she is able to turn and twist her body in weird ways and she comes to visit them. Last but not least is a segment where two guys get sucked into another dimension or hell after being a part of a séance with a coven on New Year’s Eve of 1999. The two must fight off evil forces and find their way back and also as I just reviewed “Deadstream” this segment came from Joseph and Vanessa Winter. These two are gonna be people yinz horror fans are gonna wanna pay attention too. This entry of V/H/S was fun but felt a little long as I believe the first entry is what holds this movie back from being one of the best horror films of 2022… I still give this solid horror film 3 stars because all the other stuff in it was great, just wished they did something else with the R.A.C.K. group?

Croc! (DVD) – An UK film with a big killer crocodile which I didn’t know there was crocodiles in the UK but that could be I am just an ignorant bastard. We got bootleg Aquaman banging a hot tattooed woman to start the film off, a young couple about to get married in the countryside with friends, and an angry crocodile eating people not more than five minutes in and that’s where the movie just goes downhill. What should have been a hilarious and fun take on ‘killer croc’ films turns into a boring, poorly acted, and disgusting computer croc effects (really, you CGI’d the fucking croc in a barn and to walk the wedding aisle). This piss poor attempt at a killer croc film should be buried in a swamp somewhere and never unearthed again as I give it 0 stars as for the love of Rutger Hauer you had bootleg Aquaman and didn’t even know how to use that character!

Terror Train (Tubi/remake again) – For those horror fans that have short memories or no life like me this is the second remake of the Jamie Lee Curtis 1980 film. Just like the original a pledge for a fraternity Kenny is being screwed with by frat brothers and the prank goes wrong as he is sent to the nuthouse. Three years later, the group of friends who did the prank is jumping on a train for a Halloween party for a night of bad decisions or great ones depending how you look at it. Unbeknownst to the party Kenny is back and the bodies are piling up as the killer takes the victim’s costume to lure other victims in. This version sticks more to the original than the 2008 remake but the real problem isn’t that this a bad film as much more of an uninspired horror film. This will find an audience in young under 21 horror fans most likely but overall this horror film felt like it was just going through the motions not good, not bad, just there as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

We dropped three new Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episodes … finally!

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We return and this week we have more movies and madness to talk about.  First watch Joe Don Baker crash cars and make out with Susan Sarandon in CHECKERED FLAG OR BUST.  Then a movie only Tim Gross could find in DISGUSTING SPACE WORMS EAT EVERYONE. then we chat about a movie that is a truly hidden gem in 2020’s THE CURSED.  And finally we have to talk about this week’s installation in the Amityville saga in AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE.  We also get into what we’ve been watching, Kyle’s total addiction to Elden Ring.  Misty Mundae and her lousy movies.  And a whole lot more.  So download this episode or all your Cinemax soft core skin flicks will be deleted off your hard drive.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time we return and we are bringing even more genre treats with us.  First we have the Shaw brothers bringing you a weirdo guy in a rubber suit monster mash in THE OILY MANIAC. Then it’s a made for TV. jam in MIDNIGHT OFFERINGS.  And finally DOCTOR SLEEP… because Kyle wanted to make 2 guys who hate the original Shining watch the sequel.  We also have many discussions about the proper freezing methods when it comes to your snacks.   Bruce Willis and his unfortunate illness. and everyone watches the new Spider Man flick.  We also read the newest news, rundown what we have been watching, and as always we answer all you listener questions.  So download this episode or Doctor Strange will banish you to the mirror dimension.

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IT’S JOHN’S BIRTHDAY… And we are celebrating by doing the same old same old show.  As always we have 4 more flicks to talk about.  First we have an Ed Wood flick that was requested by listener Jody in JAILBAIT.  Then we have a slimy slime filled in BIO-SLIME.  And a really great 2020 jam in CENSOR.  And this week’s installment in the Amityville saga is Amityville Haunting.  Also we chat about the many ways to get and or avoid pinkeye.  Middle age poop flingers, Skyrim and Kyle’s addiction to Elden Ring. And Tim and Kyle run down their trip to Cinema Wasteland.  And as always we read your listener questions,  read the news, and rundown what we have been watching this week.  So download this episode or you’ll take an arrow to the knee.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Check out episode 400 of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This time around we bring you 3 fairly newish flicks.  First is the latest in one of the most maligned franchises in horror and that is 2022’s THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.  Next John talks about a glacier that’s made of blood in BLOOD GLACIER (what else would it be called) Then Tim chats about the great Richard Brake as a demon that wants the souls of the elderly in BINGO HELL.  And of course we talk about yet another Amityville movie.  This time it’s THE AMITYVILLE CURSE, or Amityville 5 or…  whatever, we don’t care anymore.  Also we read your listener questions.  go over the newest news, and talk about a ton of other semi interesting topics like An Aliens television show, who the best basketball player of all time was, and the insane things old folks get up to when they are in a bingo hall.  So download this episode or Larry Bird is gonna come after you like your name was Bill Laimbeer.

Gross Movie Reviews #562

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Gross Movie Reviews #562

Vertigo (DVD) – This Hitchcock film from 1958 is debated among many movie fans on how high it actually ranks among Hitchcock’s classics as it has a couple twists to it? Jimmy Stewart is a retired detective after he had an incident while chasing a criminal on rooftops. John has trouble with overcoming this fear so believes he should stay retired until a rich friend of his wants John to follow his wife for a bit of an unusual reason. John’s rich friend comes up with a whole possession of a past relative is the reason but that doesn’t stop John falling in love with her and trying to help her. The twist comes when she commits suicide and John cannot take the shock but a year later finds himself seeing her again… alive. More to the plot than I am leading on and there are a lot of things that can be pulled from this movie to debate on if you look closer? To me at least it is an interesting film but maybe not the best from Hitchcock as I give this debated classic 2 ½ stars.

Lethal Games (VHS) – A little known b-movie action flick from 1991 that stars Frank Stallone in a tale of vengeance. A new construction company pops into town to corrupt the cops and hire two goons to run people off their property. But after a couple of women have been wronged by the goons they team up with Sly’s brother to fight back and regain their community. Not a whole lot to be excited about except for a dude getting blown to bits by a rocket launcher in the last 5 minutes as I give it 1 star.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – This 1979 film was based on the book that was written about the experience of the Lutz family had in the infamous haunted house where they only lived there for a few weeks before moving. The new family supposedly moved into a house that was the sight of a mass murder and experience lots of paranormal activity that gained worldwide attention. As a kid this movie scared the holy crappola out of everyone but as the years have passed it’s been proven a hoax. As the years go on and rewatch after rewatch the shine on this horror film as dulled. Once a classic, now I believe doesn’t hold a candle to stuff like: The Exorcist and The Omen of the same era as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD/remake) – I will be the first to admit I was surprised this film was getting an update in 2005 along with starring Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz. This film goes with more of the possession of George along with the usual paranormal bullcrap but you do get to see a very mean side of Mr. Reynolds as George Lutz that is kind of unsuspected but cool. In the end some horror fans love this version but I find it forgettable more than anything as I gave it another chance and it still didn’t do anything for me as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Baby Oopsie (Tubi) – So Charles Band has decided to dip into the less popular ‘Demonic Toys’ pool and let William Butler hopefully work his magic once again with an ultra-low budget even for Full Moon. But Butler comes out swinging as we are introduced to Sybil, a shy chubby woman who is a doll collector and has an internet show about dolls. When Sybil isn’t being picked on constantly by co-workers or mom she receives unexpectingly a package that contains “Baby Oopsie’s” head. After she fixes it up and has it on her show Baby Oopsie decides it is time to seek revenge on those who have wronged Sybil. It seems like the right thing to happen until Sybil struggles with trying to control her new doll and what damage it can actually do! Super surprised how entertaining this new Full Moon film was but with saying that this project didn’t need to be split into two parts but that s for another conversation as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Asylum (DVD) – So by some chance you are a complete crazy person like me and keeping track: this is entry #11! Okay folks two minutes in they are trying to connect to the original slayings in 1974. How you ask? Well apparently Lisa is a young woman who badly needs a job and just got hired by an asylum as a janitor. Things are good until Lisa begins seeing dead people throughout the night while working but oh yeah some shithead built an asylum on top of 112 Ocean Ave. If that wasn’t enough story for you 11 entries in, Lisa is a patient and she is a part of the Dark Master’s plan? So begin your WTF is this series doing as this cheap entry was shot in the U.K. but sloppily tries to make you think it’s Amityville, New York as I give this a ½ star.

Bingo Hell (DVD) – Welcome to Oak Springs where the seniors of the community love their little dying community as they try to rage against the hipsters and the inevitable rebuilding. These seniors do their best to help each other out throughout the community until a mysterious black car shows up and they find out Mario just sold the bingo hall. Lupita the leader of the seniors warn them all of what bad things will come with new membership of the bingo hall but that doesn’t stop the new owner Mr. Big$ to suck residents into the devil’s den bright den. As Mr. Big keeps stealing souls of the community, Lupita refuses to break and has to figure out how to bring down this mysterious demonic presence before he feeds on all their souls. Richard Brake checks in with a wonderful performance as usual and we get a nice amount of gore but this horror film suffers from something I cannot put a finger on that stopped me from completely enjoying the horror film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Playhouse (DVD) – Just in case yinz kids are still counting pay attention because entry #13 is also known as ‘The Amityville Theater’ or ‘Amityville Legacy’ depending what country you are in and if you are streaming it? Anyhow part 13 is Canadian after having a short stint in the U.S. under the direction of Mark Polonia. This time around we get a film that involves a young lady named Fawn who inherits a movie theater in Amityville after her parents die. So of course the Fawn and the rest of the Scooby gang get locked into the theater for the dullest entry of the series yet. Oh hey bright idea… let’s bring an Ouija board and have the main plotline about six people being killed on November 13th every year? Again welcome to the WTF world of Amityville but gotta give them credit: 36 years, 13 entries in and they are still trying to connect all this to the original murders and haunted home. Sounds fun but it is not because I am now invested and must this through as I have to give this dud 0 stars.   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #551

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Gross Movie Reviews #551

The Leopard Man (DVD) – This 1943 classic has a nightclub manager convince a model he is sweet on to walk during a dance routine with a leopard on a leash like it’s an everyday thing. Well the cat gets rattled by the dancer on purpose and escapes into the woods. Shortly after a young woman is found killed by this cat supposedly? This of course sets the town to fear the worst and lock themselves in until the cat is caught by authorities but club owner Manning believes it is something else not the cat? A fun black and white thriller worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.

Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, and Tia Carrere star in this 1987 feature that feels a few years older but has a young man play hero in a convenience store then be run down by a group of drunken young people. Mom not ready to let go of her son asks a favor of a friend down the road to use her voodoo to bring her son back to life. Doing so he returns to life or life of the undead to seek revenge on those who wronged him. If you like your horror features cheesy this is super cheesy as I give it 2 stars.

The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.

Crypt of the Living Dead (DVD) – After an archeologist’s strange death, his son Chris comes to a small island that has a lot of superstitions of where his father was digging. Chris comes to bury him and decides it should be where this dig was but a tomb needs moved. When this is done Hannah the Queen of the Vampires is unleashed and night after night she gains strength willing each death of the superstitious villagers. Chris not exactly believing in the legend but knows something is weird wants to bury the tomb before any more deaths occur. A slow burn 1973 vampire flick that is worth a watch if you never heard of it as I give it 2 stars.

I Walked With a Zombie (DVD) – This 1943 thriller has a nurse sent from the states to a small island to take care of a man’s wife who is considered ‘mental’ for her coma-like state she has fallen into. It is believed by the doctor there that Mrs. Holland suffered a side effect of a high fever that has caused her to blankly stare like a zombie and not do much? The nurse falling in love with the husband but feels not all is being done to help the patient looks into the jungle for answers as the natives may know how to help the young lady in the coma-like trance as I give the film 2 stars.

Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .

Chompy and the Girls (DVD) – If there wasn’t enough oddball weird horror films for 2021 there is this feature about a young woman trying to commit suicide but fails. Jackson is depressed and even she tries to reach out she fails at that too until she randomly texts a man who she just found out was her father six months ago. They agree to meet in a park for the first time and talk until they witness a man walk up to a girl and swallow her whole with his gigantic mouth! From there Jackson and father Sam are on the run as this thing on foot seems to track them down no matter where they go? It gets even weirder as they feel trap by this interdimension being they communicate with it and find out it isn’t the horrible parasite they thought it was but a being trying to save the world until Sam’s wife kills it. Now it is up too Jackson, Sam and Jackson’s friend who took a roofie to figure out what needs to be done. Movie is weird as balls and I loved it as I give it 3 stars.

George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume One (DVD) – An anthology of films that are introduced to audiences by the zombie master himself George Romero who seems to have fun with each intro. First entry is about jungle cannibals, second is about a lonely finding something on a beach that was supposed to stay buried, and third is directed by Tom Savini that has a doctor making a house call for a teenage boy who seems to be dying? Fun little stories for horror fans that is shaped like your favorite old uncle is telling them to put you to sleep as I give this collection 2 stars.

Slumber Party Massacre (Remake/SyFy Channel) – The story begins in 1993 at a cabin where driller killer Russ Thorn attacks a group of young women just having a nice weekend. One woman survives the tragic ordeal and 28 years later has a daughter (Dana) who is about to partake in a weekend with the girls at a cabin near this event. Along the way we get a few images, music, lines of dialogue to pay homage to the original. But in this role reversal remake of young people being into crime podcasts and murder tours we find out the girls are there to see if Russ Thorn still exists? They have plans to put this legend to rest! Dana wants to do it for her mom and if that means putting the males across the lake in danger so be it. Now the role reversal thing is more the males are the victims and show nudity unlike the women in the original. But spoiler alert women fucked Thorn up in the original also so I wasn’t totally sure why this was part of the storyline other than to be filler? The only expectation I had going into this film was “don’t suck out loud”. It wasn’t terrible but I feel it will be forgettable for most young horror fans just because the original is lost on most as many may have never heard of it unlike: ‘Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St., Hellraiser’, the usual suspects. They should have just made it “Slumber Party Massacre V” just to see what horror fan is actually paying attention to this besides me? Either way you knew I was watching it because it is a “massacre” film as I give it 2 stars.

V/H/S/94 (Shudder) – With the last entry leaving horror fans disappointed it seemed filmmakers went out of their way to give something extra to fans and it paid off. We begin with a SWAT team entering a warehouse where they were expecting to bust a huge drug ring but instead find TVs in different rooms and victims/dead bodies with their eyes ripped out in front of them. It almost looks like a cult-like suicide pact among the dead humans there. As the SWAT team goes floor to floor investigating they stop long enough for the viewer/us to watch a segment. We get a rat man segment, zombie segment, experimenting on humans segment which is just brutal fun, a militia segment where members are dying mysteriously, and the SWAT team is the wrap around as the viewer follows them through this maze of the bizarre. This film is so gory that it is almost cartoonish at times… The only bad thing about this wonderful horror flick is the wrap around, which is very unusual for any anthology film. The ending they give the wrap around just sucks and takes a little away from such a solid entry that more than made up for ‘V/H/S: Viral’. In the end I still enjoyed this near perfect anthology as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Inheritance (YouTube/DVD) – A newer film from a newer filmmaker Eric Palmer who has the task of telling a story about a woman inheriting a cabin. Scarlett just learns about her father dying and she has inherited this cabin and is already leaning towards selling it and being done with it. But after a couple girlfriends come over talking vacation they convince Scarlett with friends they should check it out? One problem, when they arrive at the cabin good old Uncle Drake is too pleasant on the young lady talking about selling the place and explains it has been in the family for a very long time. Scarlett very late into the film finds out Uncle Drake likes to conjure demons and needs young Scarlett for a sacrifice! A lot of times I am all for character development in an Indy film but this somehow had a little too much as they put on the back burner Uncle Drake runs a satanic cult that can conjure a demon? Just my opinion but felt the whole Uncle Drake arc should have been the main focus not Scarlett’s friends getting to know each other even more around the fire. I feel there was more of a story to tell about Uncle Drake to make this film a little different but again Eric was able to give the audience characters you actually feel something for as I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

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