Gross Movie Reviews #380

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Gross Movie Reviews #380

 

Howl (DVD) – In the middle of Somewhere, UK, passengers are taking a train at night to get to their destination. Problem… train breaks down in the middle of highly wooded area that we later find out has a history of weird shit happening but never substantiated? But driver gets out checking out the problem only to be attacked by something. Two train workers check it out not finding the driver and debating with the several passengers on what they should do. Finally they leave the train only to find the remains of the driver and now something is chasing them back to the train. They are forced to defend themselves as this wolf man like creature is attacking the train trying to eat everyone inside! A fun werewolf flick with lots of blood and guts and I give it 3 stars.

 

Jaws of Satan (DVD) – An early 80s killer animal flick that involves a King Cobra escaping from a train and causing other snakes in the area to attack humans. All because the King Cobra is Satan himself according to the local priest! A possessed snake holding a community hostage is great stuff horror fans and a must watch as I give it 3 stars!

 

The Vatican Tapes (DVD) – A woman named Angela becomes possessed on her 25th birthday and the church gets involved. A special division of the Vatican gets involved after investigating the supposedly possession and tries exorcise the demon from the young woman’s body before it completely takes control. A little more interesting than most of the PG-13 possession films that have flooded the horror genre as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Amityville Death House (DVD) – The story begins with Eric Roberts doing voiceover telling a story about a witch using the ‘Book of the Dead’ as a means to enter present day. Pay attention as you will notice the ‘Book of the Dead’ is: A) The Evil Dead DVD Necronomicon and B) its upside down. Anyway, present day and Tiffany and college friends are stopping by to visit grandma. Well grandma lives in the old Wilmont’s house that was the house to Abigail the witch during the 1800s. Locals always believed witches lived in the home for years. Now the home is shunned by the community even though Grandma Raymond lives there. Tiffany use to spend her summers there until grandpa died and since then hasn’t been back. But now she is back and weird shit begins to happen and six people need to die for Abigail the witch to come into present day. And only in a Polonia Brothers film you would hear the line, “You look like you had a dozen tits?” It’s true if you watch the film she did look like that… Tiffany I mean. Make-up effects from Brett Piper and Anthony Polonia, Fred Olen Ray as an executive producer and Eric Roberts involved with a great looking poster comes off as a slight misfire than classic. I expected more but hey it does have Amityville in the title so I give it 2 stars.

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Flesh for the Inferno (DVD) – A film written by the legendary Michael Varrati begins March 11, 1999, at St. Christopher Middle School. A priest has raped a boy and the boy told four nuns about it. They choose to confront the priest and things go bad and next thing you know they are renouncing god as they are bricked up in the basement. Years later… June 2, 2015, a youth group and its leader show up to clean and fix up the old school for the weekend but they are warned it’s a bad day according to the caretaker. Once the cleaning begins the nuns return causing death and chaos inside the walls of this holy place. Gore, ugly nuns, and a little reminder for me at least of ‘The Unholy’ and ‘The Convent’. A fun and gritty low budget horror movie worth seeking out fans as I quite enjoyed it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. This is the type of horror film I believe needs to make a comeback to the cinemas?

 

Black Sabbath (DVD) – Boris Karloff tells tales of terror in this early 60s horror film that even has Karloff playing a vampire in the last tale of terror. Think of Karloff as the early Cryptkeeper. Found this flick a little dull at times but sure there are some older people that would tell me to fuck off just for saying that as I give this film 2 stars.

 

Swamp Thing: The Series Volume One (DVD) – Yes folks, I am the weirdo that owns this box set but this set actually contains season one and two. The third season for unknown reasons right now is 50 some episodes! It was USA network in the early 90s before they knew what programs were being placed on the channel. Dick Durock returns as the big green guy who pretty much saves a kid named Jim for several episodes before he is shipped off to South America and now has to deal with his older brother Will. The series centers on the struggle between Dr. Arcane and Swamp Thing and the surrounding swamp land. With each story being wrapped up in 23 minutes and everyone including his mom forgetting Jim from the first season was shipped to South America by Arcane. An odd and quirky take on the cult comic book hero but no worse than the ‘Friday the 13th Series’ that was about cursed objects not Jason Voorhees. I look forward tracking down the rest of the episodes but until then hopefully we can get a movie or TV series that gives this interesting character some respect? I give it 2 stars.

Werewolves

Werewolves in Heat (DVD) – Lance Polland and company make a movie that seemed to be a lost film from the early 90s Troma catalog that even includes Ron Jeremy as a pimp named ‘Chancho’. The story centers around three friends leaving the friendly confines of L.A. for the sex, drugs, and party of the desert. Once at their rental house they proceed to the local bar to place flyers for their party and buy some whores. But these just any whores… Let’s remember Ron Jeremy aka Chancho is pimping out the best ever. The three friends are so excited for the women and their party doesn’t know until it is too late when the women/werewolves show up and start a bloodbath once horny! Everyone may get laid but it all ends in death as these women have embraced being werewolves. Hell, we even get werewolf vision which reminds me a lot of the same thing in ‘Howling 7: New Moon Rising’ (a sub-par sequel in the series). Mr. Polland accomplished in giving horror and Troma fans a low budget raunchy gem that makes you reminisce about old school Troma films? I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars. More about the film can be found at: www.facebook.com/werewolvesinheat .

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #345

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Gross Movie Reviews #345

 

By Tim Gross

 

Gingerclown (DVD) – A film made in Budapest but takes place in Hollywood, California 1983 where a group of local high school teenagers are hanging out behind the famous Hollywood sign and they call themselves “the Wolfpack”. Of course the lonely nerd named Sam or Tully as the “Wolfpack” calls him rides by on his bike and they make him an offer to be a part of their gang “The Wolfpack”. Sam takes them up on the offer for the mere reason he likes the cute blonde Jenny. They go to an old abandoned amusement park and is told he has two hours to enter the park and come back with something to prove his effort. The strange old place has a history of mysterious deaths and fires and hasn’t been open since the 60s. Once Sam enters, Jenny follows and the two are faced with odd evil things from an evil tea kettle to an evil pile of crap, something that makes you think this flick was lost from the Charles Band’s Full Moon collection over the years. What it comes down to is the park is full of expelled demons from hell that prey upon humans that enter. It has the cast of famous genre favorites in: Lance Henriksen, Tim Curry, Brad Dourif, and Michael freakin Winslow but they are all voice overs for the characters in the park. A fun concept for a horror flick but just never reaches its potential and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Scribbler (DVD) – Our film begins with a woman named Suki being interviewed or interrogated by a doctor and a detective to figure out what just happened at this woman’s mentally unstable halfway house/apartments I guess. The film is based on a comic book I never heard of but sure T-shirt Joe Garcia from www.fastcustomshirts.com would know?  The film is a little ridiculous, weird, dark, and very interesting. But you need to stick with this oddity as it takes about twenty minutes to get going as it lays out some plot for you to dig into and understand the subject matter better. But Suki tells a story of how crazy people in this building are being killed and the doctor and detective know that Suki suffers from multiple personalities herself. But without trying too much more of giving the film away Suki is given an electrical device from her that is supposed to help her get rid of her multiple personalities one by one. From there it becomes a lost project from the mind of David Croenberg if possible? It stars the likes of Gina Gershon, Eliza Dushku, Billy Campbell, and Michelle Trachtenberg and no doubt will be on end of the year list for best movies of 2015 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Apocalypse Pompeii (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment once again proves nothing is off limits and tries to capitalize on the big budget piece of crap called “Pompeii” that littered theaters last year. Adrian Paul’s wife and daughter go visit the ruins and the volcano erupts and only Adrian Paul and the brilliant John Rhys-Davies can save them. Its unwatchable crap but I still watched it as I give it 0 stars.

Razor Days

Razor Days (DVD) – A long awaited project that has been years in the making from Mike Watt and Happy Cloud Pictures is making its way out on the festival circuit. The film stars Debbie Rochon as Jessamay, a disfigured woman who has survived a horrible attack of rape, torture, and cannibalism. She approaches Anita (Amy Lynn Best) who helps women defend themselves and takes interest in Jess when Jess tells her story. But Jessamay believes if she escaped then there has to be other survivors? Survivors that need to be found as they got to feel the same way she does and that is to find these horrible things or men and wipe the earth clean of them. With Anita’s help they find a woman named Reina across the state and together they become fast friends and soon share the wanting of closure and no longer of being haunted by their horrible past. This new project from Happy Cloud Pictures is much different project you are used to seeing as they go dark, very dark and miserable. The flick feels a little like “Ms. 45”, “I Spit on Your Grave”, and “They Call Her One Eye” but walks that fine line of not going too far extreme and have Debbie Rochon possibly give her best performance since “American Nightmare”. The film also has appearances from Michael Varrati, Alan Rowe Kelly, and a few other Happy Cloud Pictures regulars. As much as I really enjoyed the deep darkness and grit of this film for me at least it felt like something else was going to happen but didn’t? But do not let that stop you from checking out Mike Watt’s darkest film to date as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go check out:    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Razor-Days/125372234198963?fref=ts .

 

Starry Eyes (DVD) – A young woman named Sara who is a struggling actress believes she is meant to be a big star and will eventually do anything to get there. After another rejection for the film “The Silver Scream” she takes out on herself but the people see this and believe she could be right for the part if she is willing… At first Sara turns it down but soon runs back even if it means sucking an old dude’s wiener! Even with that she must complete the transformation. Predictable flick but has some great gore but not enough for me to want to revisit the film anytime soon as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Pyramid (DVD) – It is 2013, Cairo, Egypt, and archeologists may have stumbled upon the biggest discovery ever as they find a pyramid under the surface of the desert. Something that may predate any of the ancient pyramids. Excited to investigate it all the plug has been pulled on them as war has broke out inside Cairo. Forced to pack up the archeologists and the camera crew that is following them quickly make their way into the tomb/pyramid to investigate soon understanding they are in a maze that was constructed to keep something in? I am always a sucker for this subject matter as a horror movie but sometimes it fails and this is one of those times. It’s not horrible but with a film like “The Descent” still fresh in many horror movie fan’s minds you cannot help but comparing the two. Interesting horror film that just taken the wrong turn of how it could have developed into something far cooler as I give it 2 stars.

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Pain Shack (DVD/YouTube) – Now mind you fine folks the film I watched is a rough cut that has since has a couple new scenes added and deleted in the official DVD that will be available. Anyway the film is made by the duo of Marissa and Alex Murphy. No, that isn’t Robocop Alex Murphy before you ask. But the film takes you on a long spiraling dark ride with the character Alex who believes his dream is to review music. To do this he studies YouTube and its users to come up with his own gimmick the “Noodledroop show”. In the process Alex becomes obsessed with a movie reviewer Ricky Shores and becomes abusive in his relationship with Marissa so he can achieve his ultimate goal of becoming a YouTube sensation as his followers grow or do they in this dark horror/comedy. The film runs a little long for its subject material in my opinion but I really enjoyed all the performances by all in the film and really enjoyed how Alex and Marissa filmed their characters because I believe I know some of these people currently or of at least met them on occasions at several conventions and for that kids I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on where you can purchase a copy of this film or see where its playing at next check out www.facebook.com/rickyshoresingstheblues .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Got six minutes go check out Undead Holocaust (the short film from Tim Gross)

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