Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2021” list!

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Best horror films of 2021

1) CarousHell the 2nd (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski gave us crazy Indy horror fans ‘House of 1000 Corpses’ with his first entry ‘CarousHell’, five years later Steve figured out a way with the sequel to give us ‘The Devil’s Rejects’. And if yinz get that reference then you know you are in for one hell of a ride with this project. Our famous killer carousel unicorn Duke, is back and it begins with Nazis as Duke has just found out he has a son he nothing about. Duke learns about Robbie and tries to make amends but Duke’s past catches up with him as the Third Reich is still pissed their experiment is running free in America. These immortal Nazis want revenge against their former Alpha Solider and will stop at nothing to get their revenge even if it means kidnapping Duke’s hybrid son. Now if you just tuned into this review wondering what the hell you are reading well ‘CarousHell’ and its sequel are the ultimate weirdo horror films that really cannot be classified as anything else but “weird” and that is what makes it wonderful! This sequel reminds me of the spirit of the ‘Basket Case’ sequels where Steve is giving you the viewer something completely unexpected or at least me? Yes, there is still a carousel horse sex scene, some fine gore spots, absolutely wonderful acting from Aleen Isley, Terrence Cover, Rebecca Reinhart, and Joshua Anton just to name a few actors with perfect performances that had me laughing and entertained from beginning to end! This latest creation from Mr. Rudzinski would not surprise me at all to propel his career or at least a few phone calls from Hollywood as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and you will be seeing it in my “Top 5 movies of 2021” for sure! All I ask Steve remember us little people… and send beer! Now congrats on one fucking awesome movie!

2) Slaxx (Shudder) – Libby is a young lady who is lucky enough to be starting a new job at a super popular clothing store “CCC”. The store is all about a better tomorrow using experimental cotton for their new killer jeans “Super Shapers”! These pants are amazing as they will fit male or female, overweight or underweight and make you look wonderful. Unaware the employees who try to see how the jeans fit before anyone else get murdered by the experimental pants as they want revenge. To compound the problem once Libby and employees figure this out the store is on lockdown and makes it impossible to call authorities in. On the other hand Libby’s manager is all about saving the store so he can be promoted and sell the shit out of these jeans when morning hits no matter how many people die. The film has some inventive kills, touches upon a lot of millennial themes, and at about the 40 minute mark the film goes completely bonkers which just excited me! Where films like the overrated ‘Rubber’ and lackluster ‘Killer Sofa’ fail, ‘Slaxx’ puts on a show as I give one of the best films of 2021, 4 stars.

3) Benny Loves You (On Demand) – Meet Jack, a 35 year old who lives with his parents and is a junior toy designer whose parents still celebrate Jack’s birthday as if he was a child. But this year is different as the parents die accidentally while preparing for his birthday. Nothing is going right for Jack so now alone he decides he wants to improve his life and this means getting rid of everything including his childhood toy that he still has. The toy’s name is Benny and doesn’t like it too much he is about to be thrown out but also wants Jack to be happy again? From here Jack is sent into a downward spiral of death and despair as anyone that comes to the home or Jack doesn’t like Benny slices and dices them. As the bloodbath ensues in a weird way Benny helps Jack get his job back with new designs based on Benny… The horror film is a wonderful insane oddity of gore that needs to be witnessed as this will be one of the best horror films I will watch in 2021 and for that I give it 4 stars.

4) Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Cannibals and Zombies Collection (DVD) – Addison Binek is riffing a collection of movies again but these are not just any movies… They are zombie and cannibal movies! What makes this a unique rough ride is Addison takes you through some the lesser known, grittiest, maybe even crappiest off the wall flesh-eating hilarity you have ever witnessed. You’ll laugh, you will most likely cry over what Addison and you will sit through but it will be fun as I give this collection 4 stars as usual.

5) Lost in Cleveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudzinski’s latest short film about Ben and Blake who are “business partners” that travel to Cleveland for a movie gig? Ben is the actor and Blake is the partner that wanted to come along but bored as his partner can be out for long hours or days at a time during these movie shoots. Blake meets Steve the filmmaker while lurking around sadly around the hotel. The two hit it off immediately and discuss how they are very similar in how they view their relationships right now and decide to spend lots of time together. This 19 minute short is brilliant and for Indy fans who have not seen any of Steve’s past work this would be a great introduction to Steve Rudzinski and BPO films project libraries as they are some of the best talent the Indy film world has to offer as I give this 4 out of 4 stars! This and more can be found at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

6) People to Kill (DVD) – Apparently this was Adam S. Clevenger’s first effort out as he wrote and directed this interesting thriller. Shawn and two brothers still live and hang with their father as their mother died five years ago after reading about the “Lullaby Killer”. The family still trying to move on has their usual squabbles and Shawn gets a lot of the blame from his father. Shawn runs a Star Trek themed store called “Starbase”. This makes for some hilarious scenes with the customers and Shawn’s father while Shawn runs for coffee. Along the way he helps out the local hooker (Erin R. Ryan) who has an issue with her pimp. Shawn felt the need to step in as he has seen her every day for the past few months hanging out near his store. They quickly strike up a friendship and things get very complicated as that is about all I can say as a major twist happens. I didn’t exactly see this twist coming maybe you will but either way this film is an absolute gem of an independent feature. Mr. Clevenger wrote an excellent script, and casted an excellent group of actors that should be applauded for pulling off a great performance. Erin R. Ryan is always a wonderful presence on screen but all involved were equally great. There was only one thing bad that I could say about the film and that is the length (2 hours and 14 minutes). Now most cases there isn’t enough story to fill 70, 80, or even 90 minutes but this surprisingly had it but felt the 20 minute strip club could have been cut down. I totally understand why it wasn’t edited because there is some important dialogue that happens but felt at some point Adam could have moved on. If this was Adam’s first effort out then count me in for the future as I can see some entertaining stuff coming this dude as I give this must have film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Good chance this shows up on my “Best of 2021 watched list”.

7) Bloody Hell (DVD) – Rex just so happens to live in Boise, Idaho, just trying to hit on the cute bank teller at his bank until a robbery happens and that is where Rex’s life changes. Instead just lying down giving up his money Rex having military training decides he can kick some ass or at least that is what his other self that Rex speaks to on a regular basis convinces him of doing. Problem is Rex gets 8 years for wrongful death even though he is considered a hero by most around town. Eight years later, Rex gets released from prison and decides he wants out of Boise and wants a fresh start in Finland. Problem Rex’s life only gets worse as he is kidnapped by a weird ass family who feeds their inbred monster son and now has Rex hanging up in their basement missing part of his leg. Once Rex calms down a bit his inner self and he come up with a plan to escape and kill the family! I absolutely enjoyed this flick as it reminded me of a ‘Hardcore Henry’ and I talk to myself way too much because I work alone way too much, anyway I give this film 4 stars all the way for giving a horror fan something fun, strange, and well-crafted.

8) The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.

9) Feaster Sunday (YouTube/DVD) – A not so typical independent holiday horror film where a man, Dr. Gideon Lear is putting forth his best effort to put on “The Passion” play at the community theater that hasn’t happened in twenty years. Lear wants perfection out of his actors as he explains in his recent interview with Eddie from the local Public Access Channel. Neither Lear nor his actors seem to be too concerned with the history of the play as “the show must go on”. Meanwhile Eddie sees someone he knows among the actors, Tess, and they reconnect after Tess is dropped by her boyfriend Reen because he needs his full attention on playing Jesus. As time goes on actors for the play disappear, warnings for the play “not to go on” are ignored, and Dr. Lear begins his struggle to keep the production together. There is a whole lot of crazy going on in this flick that just made me giddy to watch! Wonderful casting choices (Dave Parker as the original Jesus, brilliant), great script, cool puppets, and a low budget production that felt bigger than it was should get some mainstream respect as I give this excellent production 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

10) Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Notable films of 2021:

The Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre (On Demand) – Well I gotta say this was an unexpected fun horror gem about a wrestling tag team in New Mexico wrestling called “The Manson Brothers”. This rugged tag team has been around for three decades now and knows all the ins and outs of independent wrestling feds. After a well-received tag match they are offered a big money cage match at midnight on Halloween. Of course they say yes but that is only part of the story as things get weird as some of the wrestlers have been taking some of the Chinese HGH to stay big for the ring. Now to complicate the issue with wrestlers taking the HGH and causing a zombie issue, there is a horrible hurricane that has locked down everything! So The Manson Brothers must fight their way through a horde of flesh eaters inside the wrestling building and forget about the main event. The movie has lots of great zombie gore gags, wonderful story telling (someone knows some of the behind the scenes stuff of wrestling), and the supporting cast in D.B. Sweeny, Mindy Robinson, and Randy Couture make this an unexpected horror gem and would love to see a sequel if it is done with the same spirit and passion this project was as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Beyond Dark Dreams (DVD) – So apparently independent filmmaker Joseph Russio lost this film about six years ago and only recently finished it when he found all the footage for it again. He may have lost it because this film will fuck with your mind! Russio wrote and directed this feature about a writer putting himself in an old dark house so he can get past his writer’s block… maybe? After a investigating a couple odd noises in the house that makes the writer more fascinated with the house than his writing he comes back to a needle full of green stuff? So of course the writer introduces this unknown drug into his system in hopes of inspiration or the next life. We as does the writer from here witnesses acts of cruelty, the macabre, and the truly bizarre. When it ends I believe the movie allows you to decide if it was all a dream, it really did happen to the writer, or Joseph just giving us a mindfuck of a film that really has no ending that lets you be the judge? I was super confused as it ended but was happy I got to watch this quite odd independent film that had wonderful music, production, and a story I can see people talking about even a few years from viewing it as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Werewolves Within (DVD) – Beaverfield is a small mountain town that needed a new forest ranger who went missing recently and Finn Wheeler is the man for the job. Finn is transferred and is getting the lay of the land by the cute postal woman who takes him around town. Finn believing his first day after the transfer was a breeze wakes up to the small community upset by a missing dog and talk of a monster or werewolf eventually. Finn thinking it’s all a misunderstanding has just stepped into a ’30 Days of Night’ style situation but with werewolves. They all believe safety is in numbers but that does not stop the werewolf from feasting on the community all held up in the Mansion Inn. Ranger Finn now must figure out who the werewolf inside the mansion is or he will be the next meal in this murder/mystery comedy with a good amount of gore. Great characters, great build up, and potential to be watched by viewers multiple times as one of their recent favorites as I give this flick 3 ½ stars. 

Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .

The Shed (DVD) – A bootleg Barlow the vampire bites a man in the woods and this man finds shelter in a shed running from this monster. From there we meet a troubled teenager named Stanley whose parents are gone and must live with his abusive grandpa. That afternoon Stanley is out back with the dog and the dog learns the hard way that there is something in the shed. Of course this doesn’t go over well with grandpa and he too finds out the hard way about the shed. Witnessing these horrific events Stanley must figure out how to keep his new pet monster a secret and how to keep him from getting out of the shed. Stanley tells his best friend about the shed monster and things just get worse from there. A simply fun, gory, little monster movie that I absolutely enjoyed watching as I give it 3 ½ stars.

The Mutilator (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit this low budget slasher film from the early 80s as I didn’t get to see it then and only learned about it in the late 90s, early 2000s when it was being found on the bootleg market. Arrow Video recently corrected this problem putting together a 2-disc “must-have” edition for any horror fan. I myself remembered liking it the first time around but it was some crappy quality. Anyway, most of the gore takes place late in the movie but is well worth the watch if you are a gorehound. A father seeks revenge on his son Ed years later after his son accidentally shoots and kills his mother with a loaded rifle. Our tale goes forward when Ed gets a call from his father to go close down his beach condo during ‘Fall Break’ (which also was the original title). Ed and his friends decide to take advantage of this and go to party before they close it up for the winter but Ed’s father has other plans. Arrow Video not only restored the original unrated version of the film cleaned it up so much it was like watching this movie again for the first time. This of course means we get to see the famous giant fish hook with the girl parts for a wonderful death scene! But Arrow Video didn’t stop there as they loaded it up with a couple funny commentaries, a feature-length documentary (which was eye-opening on the background of this film), original music, and alternate opening titles that played with the movie before anyone knew about it. It does not happen often but I think I like this film more now than then because of this 2-disc Blu-ray from Arrow as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Ouija Mummy (DVD) – From the same people that gave us the disappointing ‘Lycanimator’ came back a year later and gave us a no-budget treat that needs to seeked out by independent film lovers. Anyway a woman brings home some ancient jewelry from a recent Egyptian dig then commits suicide. Not too long after a young couple buys the house and moves in and have a house warming party. Of course Natalie’s guy wants to make her happy and after finding the artifact in the home gives it to Natalie as a house warming gift. Between this and Natalie’s obsession with wanting to play with an Ouija board during the party cause a royal demon to possess Natalie’s body and terror ensues! You will notice a lot of cool Indy names are attached to this project, some cheap but effective effects go a long way, and filmmaker and cast learning from mistakes (Lycanimator) make this a diamond in the rough independent film that not many are talking much about. I give this excellent Indy flick 3 ½ stars as I believe once the story gets going it has this cheap ‘Night of the Demons’ vibe, so enjoy!

Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.

A.M.I. (DVD) – We come to know a young female character Cassie who struggles with the death of her mom and just so happens to find a cell phone during a morning jog. She appropriately leaves it on a stump for the person who might be looking for it and as she walks away the phone asks her, “Do you need a friend?” Cassie’s best friend just showed this new app on your cell phone that once downloaded becomes your friend and knows you. This story taps right into what we all are waiting for to happen, ‘Skynet bitches!’ The A.I. has become so sophisticated it communicates, plays games, does homework, gets calls for you (Alexa anyone?), so this premise is right in the wheel house of every human on Earth. Anyway after an unsightly event with her father Cassie goes back and finds the phone is still there and answers it. This is where Cassie’s life changes especially when the phone convinces her to go off her meds and entices Cassie to kill her friends because they are not good for her! This R-rated Lifetime Network film takes Psychostalker to a whole new level as the film should be watched as a warning of what is already happening more than just another horror movie or I enjoyed the fucking shit out of this film as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Spine Chiller (DVD) – An Indy retro-80s style anthology that was released a couple years ago that deserves your attention fellow yinzers. Okay, yes I know everyone is making an anthology (hell I am) and if you are doing an independent anthology production that is equal to telling people you have the ‘death curse’. But people let’s all get past that so you can enjoy this little Halloween feature that will make you throw this in your pile to watch every October! The anthology doesn’t have horror hosts but rather great story telling that has all the stories interconnecting and progressing into a fun, spooky, atmospheric ride through horror that doesn’t disappoint. The film plays it serious with all the spooky tales and I may not be a fan of the ending but this tale of Halloween is something I refuse to describe it too much because I feel it could be the next ‘ (2007) Trick ‘r Treat’ for independent fans… yes I went there as I give it 3 ½ stars.    

Hell’s Kitty (DVD) – At first glance I took this not so big budgeted horror film for “hey we hired the convention all-stars to get 30 second cameo”… But to my surprise this was a well-crafted horror film about a man Nick and his cat. Now I will say the film had my attention immediately when they casted one of my favorite porn stars Nina Hartley but it did not stop there as all the named cast actually played an essential roles which happens very rarely these days. Anyway Nick gets a cat named Angel and quickly some weird and strange things begin to happen like Satanic shit! According to a therapist the cat Angel, is stopping Nick from having a serious sexual relationship but Nick is not seeing that as he cares for Angel even Angel is slaughtering people around him. The film is wrapped up in a nice tight bow as its Nick telling a publisher the story of his possessed kitty. From Drew Marvick, to one of the Killer Klowns showing up, to Isaac and Malachai from ‘Children of the Corn’ (who made me laugh so hard I almost pissed myself), everything is wonderful, bloody, and hilarious as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Black Friday (On Demand) – First off, I laughed out when this film was announced because the title is the most overused term in our lexicon and second, and felt “Black Friday” hasn’t been relevant for several years now cause ‘online shopping’ anyone? Anyhow, setting aside my beliefs of this so-called holiday, shopping day, whatever we find ourselves watching a film about abused retail workers at ‘We Love (heart) Toys’ toy store. It is Thanksgiving night and the staff must get things set up for the madness of the “Black Friday” shoppers and horror icon Bruce Campbell plays the manager of the store. But to the dismay of shoppers and staff meteors carrying alien thing are fallen to Earth and these monstrous things from the rocks are turning humans into monsters that will stop at nothing to find other unaffected humans to add to their end creation. Lots of flying goo, monsters, and a great cast made me forget that “Black Friday” isn’t really a thing anymore and just enjoy a wonderful horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Cyst (DVD) – It is 1961 and Dr. Guy is a pimple popper dude who has an invented a machine called the “Get Gone” machine that will be the revolution of removing cysts, safely and less painful. Problem is it malfunctioned last time the patent people came through and this time it better work or they will just have Dr. Guy shut down. Meanwhile, Dr. Guy’s nurse Patty’s last day as she refuses to work with this so-called machine. So after some tinkering by Dr. Guy and a willing patient (sort of) he has a huge cyst to remove from the patient. When Dr. Guy does he unknowingly causes a mutant cyst to take a life of its own and now the people in the office are trapped with this killer mutant cyst! Think of ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ but with a cyst as I give this glorious B-movieish creature feature 3 ½ stars.

Best documentaries of 2021

Wolfman’s Got Nards (DVD) – A wonderful documentary from star Andre Gower as he documents everything that went down during the 30th anniversary and celebration of ‘The Monster Squad’. A quite in-depth look into the fans of the film, the history of the bootlegs, Fred Dekker thinking it failed, and who were behind bringing the creatures to life on screen. This documentary is an absolute treat to watch as I give it 4 stars.

The Golden Age of Horror Comics I & II (YouTube) – An independent documentary created by Zane Whitener that possibly takes the deepest dive into horror comics I have ever seen. The creator spends a lot of time on the 40s and 50s horror comics because of Bill Gaines but also explains how all comics were changed forever. The creator literally reads some of the early comics in length just so you can feel the impact these writings had on kids and the government. The second half of the documentary talks more of how everything changed in the 70s after we got past the cheesy Batman show we all know and love. But the brilliance or hilarity of that original Batman show might have been the fallout of EC Comics? Zane practically touches upon almost every horror comic throughout the decades and their impact on the artists and fans alike. So if you got three hours to kill I highly recommend this well-produced documentary that not just celebrates horror comics but will teach you something also as I give it 4 stars.

Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (DVD) – An absolutely great and super interesting documentary about a filmmaker who made movies out of nothing during the 60s and 70s. And when he had nothing he would begrudgingly use his own money to bring his visions to life on the big screen. Most of his films were drive-in fodder but that didn’t stop him from giving audiences what they wanted: bikers, stuntmen, bad effects, gimmicks, whatever to get the picture sold! Mr. Adamson was an Indy talent like no other and made lots of friends along the way. But Al’s life was cut short by a so-called contractor he hired to work on his home. Hell, his story has been on the ID channel. The documentary is full of funny stories about his films getting made but it also chronicles the tragic event and how it was uncovered in the end. Wonderful stuff that makes me want to track down some of this filmmaker’s films as I give the documentary 4 stars.

The Town that Loved Bigfoot (DVD) – A hilarious and perfect documentary for all about a small southern town that has embraced Bigfoot! The town is Evergreen, Alabama where a newspaper article was written there several years ago about a strange creature being seen near town and from there the legend has grown. There are interviews with locals, hunters, Bigfoot hunters and their experiences around the town. If ever interested in Bigfoot start with this film as I give it 4 stars.

Tales of the Uncanny (Blu-ray) – A documentary from Severin Films that covers the history of anthologies… Interesting stuff. Over 60 producers, critics, filmmakers discuss the beginning of anthologies and raise the question about their impact on the industry over the years. This wonderful documentary covers all of them and for young and old horror fans alike. Yes they talk ‘Creepshow’ but also goes through some unknown gems and discuss how some came about. They did this during the pandemic last year which adds a different quality to this documentary and separates it from your average documentary as I give it 4 stars of course.

Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Worst film:

Ebola Rex vs. Murder Hornets (DVD) – Of course you had me at the title but bottom line is this movie doesn’t live up to its title. The filmmaker missed the point of the title… ‘Ebola Rex vs. Murder Hornets’ it never happened dude. You made a 60 minute movie of filler! I love Brinke Stevens but she seems wasted in this my friend. Dustin I respect your overall work but this was a huge miss as I got to give this film 0 stars. 

It’s Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper bad movie but needs to be witnessed to believe!

Water Wars (DVD-R) – Well it took a while to track this post-apocalyptic “Corman Presents” flick down as it stars Michael Madsen, a couple Playboy Playmates, and directed by Cirio H. Santiago with Jim Wynorski stepping in after illness. Supposedly finished in 2011 but never released until 2014 but I couldn’t find a physical copy for sale or the film on any streaming sites but as usual give me time and the movie will find me. Once you get past the filler (stock footage from several Filipino post-apocalyptic films that I believe takes up half of the film) water is the only currency of course. An evil warlord Bane is hell bent on tracking down a water source and believes there is springs of fresh water hidden in the mountains but can never capture anyone that knows where it is until now. A gun for hire named Slade is hired by a beautiful lady who claims to know where this spring is if he rescues her sister from Bane. Slade does the job but now Bane and his evil followers are coming to ravage the village but not Slade and his new lady bump uglies like they were in a freakin ‘Witchcraft’ film. This was a poor excuse of a post-apocalyptic film that I should have left buried but you know me as I give it 0 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #540

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Gross Movie Reviews #540

The Beast Beneath (DVD) – In a small town of Desert Valley, California an earthquake wakens its residents in the middle of the night with its shakes and simmers but nothing is thought of it. But this event has caused a monster to emerge from its slumber in the desert and it is time for the beast to snack on its new food source… humans! After a few people go missing the local authorities get involved and act like the disappearances are not that big of a deal but the mayor knows and wants it kept quiet. The beast is brought to the attention of a brilliant scientist (Brinke Stevens) and she is trying to work on a quick answer for the monstrous problem but when someone being attacked is caught on social media the mayor and police have no choice but to blow it up. The build-up of this low budget monster flick was a lot of fun and on par with what we used to get from SyFy Channel in the mid-2000s but the ending or non-ending was not the payoff I think viewers will be looking for as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Cult of the Cobra (DVD) – A bunch of U.S. service men on leave pay a hundred bucks to be sneaked into a secret meeting to witness a woman who has the ability to change into a snake. To their disbelief she does but one of them tries to take a photo and a scuffle ensues and the service men attempt to kidnap this special oddity. She gets away and of course the men are all warned they will all die but they don’t care as their deployment is over and they are heading home for good. Some time passes by and the men settled into their homes back in New York not knowing the precious snake woman has traveled there to seek her revenge. One by one the men fall but the snake woman might be having a change of heart as one of the men has taken time to be very friendly with her let’s say as I give this mid-50s flick 2 stars.

Death Rink (DVD) – The film is set in the year 2001 at the “Roller King!” roller skating rink where Rachel the manager is hanging out with the younger employees for an impromptu birthday party. They play games, smoke tea bags, eat pizza, discuss the lawsuits against the roller rink, along with wondering who in the hell is the person or ex-employee that calls every night to yell “Satan” into the phone. Things are going great and the fun is starting to whine down as everyone wants to leave at some point including Rachel as her boyfriend finally called her back… But an unwanted guest has found their way into the rink while they close up shop. This unknown individual slowly kills the employees one by one. Everything about this movie screams I should love it. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t a horrible horror film as it had a great cast, great dialogue, some blood, great location, but it all just didn’t add up to success for me as I thought this film could have pressed the gas and gone over the top? Instead I felt the film found a way to limp over the finish line in the end as I give it 2 stars.

The Earth Dies Screaming (DVD) – This is a quick mid-60s post-apocalyptic flick where one day people around the world all die at the same time except for a select few. After a small group of people find themselves holed up at a hotel they figure out they were not in the open when this all happened and believe it could have been a gas attack? To make matters worse generic alien robots walk and a “zombie pace” and cannot be killed by guns but their asses are no match for a jeep. And just when the humans thought they were screwed enough, “oh yay if you are killed by an alien they zombified your ass and control you.” The only hope is if these select few humans figure out how to stop these slow ass trash cans from taking over the world as I give it 2 stars.

Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #532

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Gross Movie Reviews #532

 

Allan Ouartermain and The Lost City of Gold (DVD/YouTube) – Richard Chamberlin is back as Quartermain and Sharon Stone as Jesse and they are talking marriage until someone comes out of the jungle talking about Quartermain’s brother and The Lost City of Gold and might be dead. So of course Quartermain goes looking for him and Jesse is not happy delaying the wedding and having another near death experience. Allan find his brother and The Lost City of Gold rather quickly but they find out that the people who live there are under control of a demanding slave trader (Henry Silva and Cassandra Peterson) who claim to be a god but really just stealing the gold. A fun follow up from 1987 that is worth checking out if you enjoyed the first film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Bunker: Project 12 (DVD) – During the Cold War Russian scientists were working on a secret project that involved super soldiers but was after funding was cut in 1973 the scientists disappeared. Henderson (Eric Roberts) who is one of the most renowned scientists pays some mercenaries to track down these lost scientists so they can access this hidden bunker and gather information of this project. Once there documents are found going step by step on the old project but there is also something waiting for them. Since this story has been done to death recently the writer throws in a storyline with one of the mercs turning on the team to gain more money. Love seeing Eric Roberts but this lackluster feature highly lacked some of the films with similar storylines in the past. In the end wished they would have at least tried to do something different but they went with what works but just not in this project as I give 1 star.

 

Mystery of the Wax Museum (DVD/YouTube) – Stop me if you heard this one before? After a fire in a London wax museum to collect insurance money a new one pops up in New York. Not too long after its opening bodies begin to go missing from the city morgue and show up at the life like museum people are raving about. This 1933 feature sounds a lot like ‘House of Wax’ with Vincent Price but with a few differences. ‘House of Wax’ is always wonderful but you can now see where it got its influence as this was a fun find for me as I never seen this flick until now. This is some fun stuff to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cheerleader Camp to the Death (DVD) – A Dustin Ferguson joint for no money where cheerleaders from different schools head out to camp for three days to work, relax, and unplug. So who cares cheerleaders died the year before at Horizon Fields Camp in a weird sprinkler accident, they are there to have fun and work on the newest routines. Of course once coach goes missing the girls refuse to see there is a problem until it’s too late as they are being killed off by a person dressed as a panda. Not covering new territory but there is a wonderfully hilarious scene around the campfire where one of the cheerleaders tells a story about a 12 inch cock! “Because, it is like an urban legend or… something!” This Indy flick as a couple laughs but not enough gore for me but its short running time does make it a quick out as I give it 2 stars.

Corporate Cutthroat Massacre (DVD) – This unknown 2009 feature has Brandi Babcock as the boss of an office that she is claiming getting pressure from up top for her staff to work harder as the numbers are down. So after firing a person or two explains all must stay after hours to get all their sales together from the past three quarters. If they do not or whoever has the lowest they will be fired also. Brandi needs to fix it fast as “Corporate” is losing money! As the night moves along people who work in the office begin to disappear as you wonder are they fired or has Brandi finally pushed someone to kill? No matter what none of them are good enough in Brandi’s eyes as I give this half step above dullness 1 ½ stars.

 

Promising Young Woman (On Demand) – Cassie is a young woman whose life hasn’t gone exactly the way she dreamed of. Now 30, working at a coffee shop, and still living at home with the parents Cassie hasn’t wanted to tackle life goals as with her complicated past she just goes to bars and gets revenge on guys by letting them think she is drunk and fucks with them. Then one day happiness shows up for her but when she is about to believe her life has taken a great turn her complicated past comes back to haunt her in a horrible way. The only way to deal with it is the only way Cassie knows how haunt it and the people who were a part of it back! A fun revenge film I give 3 stars too.

 

The Shadow of the Cat (DVD/YouTube) – Another old school flick I never had the pleasure of viewing as a child an old woman named Ella is killed off by three greedy people close to her and the cat witnessed it. Now as the three murderers try to cover up the cat is haunting them as much as it can. Thus making it difficult to get away with when Ella’s favorite niece Beth shows up and the cat likes her. Authorities get involved but keep being side tracked by the family so they all can split up the fortune and find Ella’s real will to burn it. A fun PG rated early 60s horror film that we get another of someone explaining cats stealing people’s breath… TOLD YOU ITS REAL as I give the flick 2 stars.         

Massacre (DVD) – Another late 80s film with the title ‘Massacre’ that was also known in some countries as ‘The Border of Tong’ starring David Heavener. Heavener is Detective Walker who is investigating some horrible murders in Chinatown. While he has no leads a gang known as The Tong is looking for a missing black book that has names and numbers that could ruin things for them in the long run. But the hard-nose detective refuses to let borders get in the way of a good investigation has he tracks down a suspect into Canada. I would love to say this crime thriller gets good but stays consistently dull throughout with a little spice in the middle where the suspect falls in love with a runaway sex slave. They get a room in Calgary and try to live a normal life until The Tong and Walker come a knocking. Don’t worry in the end it all works out as the good guy catches all the bad guys as I give it 1 star for David Heavener’s first film.

 

Street Hunter (DVD/YouTube) – This is one of those crazy B-action flicks that went straight-to-video that stars a host of people that makes you ask in wonder, “They are in this?” Steve James is Logan Blade, a lone wolf bounty hunter who was wronged as an officer of the law. Logan just happens to witness a big time drug dealer (John Leguizamo) have a mercenary (Reb Brown) on the payroll who has trained the dealer’s cronies into an army that is ready to take over the streets for the Columbians. The only person that can stop them is Logan and now they have his girl and they killed an old friend on the force. Get ready for a huge squibfest in this slightly fun action flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Raiders of the Golden Triangle (DVD/YouTube) – Two rival gangs fight over opium in the mountains of Asia that is called “The Golden Triangle”. A Hong Kong officer goes undercover and is able to become a member of one these gangs so he can stop the big drug operation. The film is self-explanatory but felt like I would have enjoyed this much more if I actually got high or had drank a ton of alcohol as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !