Gross Movie Reviews #489

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Gross Movie Reviews #489

 

Crawl (DVD) – A Category 5 hurricane is roaring through Florida and Haley is asked by her older sister to go check in on their father. He isn’t picking up the phone and the storm is getting worse. Even after everyone has been evacuated Haley chooses to risk her life to drive to their old house where she finds her father’s truck but he isn’t responding when she enters the house. Haley investigates further and heads into the crawlspace under the house where she finds her father out cold and injured. When Haley’s father comes too he warns her about the gators which Haley figures out quickly. As the water rise with the storm the more the gators become feisty! If the storm doesn’t kill them the gators from the gator farm will as they are feasting on anyone nearby. Wonderful gator effects! This has to be one of the best killer animal flicks since the old school “Alligator” as I give this 4 stars and for sure will be on my ‘Best of 2019’ list.

 

Trick (On Demand) – The movie opens in Benton, New York on Halloween 2015. A young man goes completely nutzoid during a harmless high school Halloween party and is stopped by one of his classmates. Patrick Weaver or Trick the kids’ call him is taken into custody at the hospital but refuses to answer any questions. Soon as he is left alone with an officer in Omar Epps he escapes only to be shot three times, fall several stories off of a building and disappear. A year passes with no real concrete answers and it happens all over again in a different small nearby town. Then again in 2017 and then again in 2018 and by now Trick has gone viral where teenagers are copying the urban legend wanting to be true and keep it alive. Meanwhile officer Denver has retired because no one believes his theory of the same person is doing this. Things get real interesting with the climax of the film as the real reason these murders keep happening on Halloween every year. A cool Halloween slasher flick that doesn’t use the usual formula to get you sucked in as I give it 3 stars.

 

US (DVD) – Jordan Peele is back to trying scare the pee pee out of everyone with this smart horror film that will having you think after the last 30 seconds of film. It is 1986 and a little girl gets lost off the boardwalk and finds a mirror maze to enter. Something completely weird happens and stays with her all her life. Present day and now with a family that little girl now an adult heads to the same beach and boardwalk for a vacation. One night the family’s parallel universe dark doppelgangers pay the family a visit and it is a fight to the death for who will survive in this world. A really fun 70s weirdness vibe to this that will make the horror film very rewatchable for years to come as you will be looking for different things every time. I give this wonderfully uncomfortable horror flick 3 stars and thank Mr. Peele for giving us horror fans something to talk about.

 

Ever After (Shudder) – I know there is a lot of weirdoes like me out there in the horror community especially people who like watching just zombie flicks. Well, do not let this one pass you by as this newer German zombie film is about two cities that have survived the zombie apocalypse a couple years later. Two women decide to sneak out on a supply train that goes between the cities for totally different reasons but both want out. They rely on each other to keep watch and keep each other company as they must set forth on foot after the train dies out. And the recovery team has been eaten by zombies. The zombie film doesn’t exactly play by the usual movie zombie rules with running zombies and possibly one character talking to God or Mother Nature? It depends how you look at it… Well worth the watch for being a different twist in a bloated zombie genre as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Wax Mask (DVD) – I thought it was time to revisit this weird supposedly big Italian mess because Fulci got sick and eventually died during production. Set in the early 1900s a new wax museum has opened up and people have begun to go missing and presumed murdered. Boris the owner of the new attraction as a tendency grabs living or mostly dead humans and makes them into an exhibit with his weird machine. It is a pretty straight forward horror film exception Boris is like a vampire and can live forever and the machine is never fully explained. It’s more of Boris has unlocked some weird art thing of making his art more lifelike as I give this movie 2 stars.

 

Disco Exorcist (DVD) – If you like lots of flapping dongs, flapping melons, sex, and it mixed with satanic rituals then this is the flick for you kids. Rex is an oversexed male who cannot get enough women. But in the end he is just looking for that one woman to satisfy him. He meets Rita one night at disco and after a night of bumping uglies they both think it may be the right thing to be together. But soon after Rex meets one of his favorite porn actresses Amoreena Jones and quickly become friendly under the disco ball. Rita not having it curses Amoreena and Rex. Any women that are with Rex will become flesh eating demons! Rex believing Amoreena is the one he sticks with her if she is a demon or not so he can put an end to Rita’s evil ways. A hilarious horror film if that is what you want to call it but honestly if you need to raise your movie sex quota along with bad joke quota this fits it as I give the hilarious flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Child’s Play (DVD/remake) – So this flick took me by total surprise just because out of the horror franchises this one may have be the least yelling for a remake. Especially when the past two sequels which were made recently and most likely reinvented the series for the long haul? So I put aside anything I knew about the series and gave this a chance. The ‘Buddi’ dolls are made in Vietnam where a disgruntled employee fucks with the protocols and program inside a doll and then commits suicide. The Buddi doll does just about everything like the ‘Alexa’ which we will get back too. At first Andy wants nothing to do with the doll because he is getting too old but soon sees the benefit of Chucky because he is the only friend he has. But because of the wonderful horror film “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” Chucky believes it would be funny to kill Andy’s friends. After this attempted Andy and friends try to destroy Chucky. But of course it is never that easy as Chucky gets an Iron Man upgrade and tries to take over a whole toy store just to kill Andy and anyone else there. Now… why the movie isn’t called “Alexa Will Kill You” I am not sure? It was like the movie was made to warn us about ‘Skynet’ sorry, I mean Amazon aka Alexa but anyhow if this isn’t called “Child’s Play” I am cool. The movie has some cool kills, I laughed my ass off about TCM 2, and Mark Hamill did a good job (still not Brad Dourif) voicing Chucky but why couldn’t this been called something else and yinz go remake “Hellraiser”? Or maybe some other horror franchise that hadn’t reinvented itself without a remake recently? Just pointing it out as I give the film 2 stars. It’s not bad just go make “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5” with Jeff Burr and we will call it even.

Undertaker (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films has taken the time to give this independent zombie film from Japan the Blu-ray treatment. But this isn’t your typical zombie film as the usual case when we get to see horror films from overseas. Filmmaker Naoyoshi Kawamatsu goes for something a little more dramatic but cool as it begins with a young boy named Ryouichi. Ry survives an accident during an evacuation of his building at the beginning of the zombie infection. Years pass and now the young boy is an adult and known to the people as an assistant to the Undertaker. Ry is hired by a family to go look for their daughter, cut off her head, and bring it back. This is so families know their loved ones are at rest and this family is ready to move but first they want to bury their daughter. So Ry goes into the post-apocalyptic major city, Japan, only to struggle with what life was like. A very smart and dramatic touch to the independent zombie genre as I give the “Undertaker” 3 out of 4 stars. The Blu-ray extras include deleted scenes, a making-of, and a short film called “On Your Back”. Zombie fans will want to have this as part of their collection. You can find the film at www.synapse-films.com .

Watch Me When I Kill (Blu-ray) – A late 70s giallo from director Antonio Bido, where a young woman walks into a pharmacy only to witness a man murdered. Some giallo fans may also know the film as “The Cat’s Victims” as that is the title in this new transfer of the film. Mara is now being stalked throughout the film and people are dying left and right. Mara’s boyfriend takes up the cause to track this person down and put a stop to it as the police are nowhere to be found. The film does have it usually intense scenes and tries to keep the killer a mystery until the end but I believe giallo buffs will more excited by all the extras that come with this 4K remastered film. The package sports the new transfer which looks beautiful by the way, a commentary, interviews, three short films from Antonio Bido, and what giallo fans will most likely wet their pants for a bonus CD soundtrack of the film score. The movie is your usual Italian giallo but all the extras in this package make a lot more than that and I am thankful for Synapse for that as I give the package 3 out of 4 stars and great work as usual. You can find the package at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

It will be here before you know it: Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross, July 25-26th, 2020. Check out www.grossfest.com for details.

We finally release all our weekly podcasts we been doing (hahaha)

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This week we talk about another 3 genre flicks.  The first being THE STEPFATHER,  a classic that Kyle has never seen even though it stars Jill Schoelin his #1 scream queen.  Then we talk about a really weird whack-a-doo police story/serial killer flick in SLAUGHTER OF THE INNOCENTS.  And finally we chat up a Netflix based quasi found footage movie in DEMONIC.  We answer your questions and read all the news that went down during the week.  So, download this episode and make old Scott Glenn happy.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we are talking about 3 more flicks unearthed from the dusty aisles of the video store.  First we have a sequel of an all time horror jam in THE STEPFATHER 2.  Directed by our good buddy Jeff Burr.  Then we go to the roller derby in the excellent UNHOLY ROLLERS.  And finally we cover a truly oddball film in which Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley dresses as a clown, climbs a tower, and goes on a shooting rampage at an amusement park in the “comedy” FUNLAND.  We also read all the news that was fit to print (or make up) this week.  And as always we answer all your listener questions.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we have 3 more flicks to bend your mind.  First we have Nazis invading a keep only to find a kick ass monster in another Scott Glenn jam in THE KEEP.  Then we cover Kyle’s all time Schwarzenegger flick in THE RUNNING MAN.  And lastly we have a weird giallo flick from the director of Cannibal Holocaust that stars all-time great Donald Pleasence in PHANTOM OF DEATH.  Along the way we talk about some new news things and as always we answer all your listener questions.  So be like Captain Freedom and download this episode.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time around we have yet another 3 flicks to split your wig.  First we watch a truly bizarre flick featuring puppets, Coleco-Vision, public sex, liquor sandwiches, and phantasm spheres in NIGHTMARE WEEKEND.  Next we talk about zombie animals in ZOOMBIES 2.  And lastly we cover a live action adaptation of a very popular anime series in FIST OF THE NORTH STAR.  And as always we chat over the news and read your listener questions.  So, download this episode or Big Van Vader will beat you up and take your lunch money.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we hand pick another 3 flicks out of the dustbin of the internet for review.  First we try really hard for Tim to get into the trailer bark boys, but ultimately Tim fucks it up as we talk about TRAILER PARK BOYS: COUNTDOWN TO LIQUOR DAY.  Then we talk of a tale of witches in the woods in EYES OF FIRE.  And lastly Kyle’s Dad (Roy Schneider) flips helicopters in BLUE THUNDER.  And as we do every week we talk about all the newest news and answer your listener questions.  So download this episode and get a physics lesson on the proper way to do sweet loop-de-loops in helicopters.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 This week it is with heave hearts we do the show because we lost a true legend.   As Tim always says “The Man, The Myth, The Legend” Rutger Hauer has passed on.  So we honor the man by reviewing 4 of his flicks.  First we have the very nekkid Jennifer Jason Lee and Rutger Hauer storming’ castles and fucking everywhere in the Paul Veerhoven directed FLESH AND BLOOD.   Then we have a spy thriller starring everyone including Craig T. Nelson’s porn stache in THE OSTERMAN WEEKEND.  Then we have a pile of straight to video garbage in TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL.  And bringing up the rear we have the Canadian grindhouse influenced HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN.  So join us in honoring the legend that was Rutger Hauer.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Tim starts his 3 week suspension handed down from Karen the head of podcasting H.R.  so Kyle and John fall back on a familiar topic… BONER JAMZ!!!  First we have a flick neither one of us has seen in SPLITZ from 1987.  Then we move on to an out of the box kinda boner jam in GHOULIES 3: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (HEY!  It’s got boobs, college shenanigans, and gross out humor so it counts as a boner jam in my book)  And lastly a real hum dinger in the movie that has to have the most hair gel ever used in a production in VALET GIRLS.  Also we cover the news and we read all of your viewer mail.  So download the episode or CBGB’s will shut down… oh wait!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Tim serves his 2nd week of forced podcast suspension but Kyle and john are here to pick up the slack with a couple fine flicks you may have missed over the last few years.  First the hostage based cannibal splatter movie GRAVY from 2015.  Then we chat about MA starring the fantastic Octavia Spencer.  And as always we answer your questions and cover all the news that was fit to print.  So, download this episode or this podcast will eat you.  #FreeTimGross

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

The Master of Italian Horror Davide Melini Returns with Deep Shock

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Award-winning director Davide Melini has a new film, “Deep Shock”, set to be released soon.

“Deep Shock” attempts to pay tribute to the Italian film genre called “giallo” (thrilling). The title is inspired by the most famous horror movies of two of the most important Italian directors: Dario Argento (“Deep Red”) and Mario Bava (“Shock”).

Produced by Luca Vannella (“Avengers”, “Thor”, “Harry Potter”, “Apocalypto”, “Heart of the Sea”), Alexis Continente (Murder on the Orient Express”, “Transformers: The Last Knight”, “Thor”), Vincenzo Mastrantonio (“Titanic”, “Moulin Rouge”, “The Passion of Christ”, “Romeo + Juliet”), Bobby Holland (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Game of Thrones”, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, “007 – Quantum of Solace”), Ferdinando Merolla (“Troy”, “Gangs of New York”, “Hannibal Rising”), Roberto Paglialunga and shot with the very high end Red Epic Dragon 6K camera, this short film has both the funding and pedigree to be an incredibly polished and professional cinematic experience.

“Deep Shock” stars Muireann Bird, Francesc Pagès, George Bracebridge, Lorna Larkin, Erica Prior and Luis Fernández de Eribe.

Here the synopsis:

Sarah can’t completely overcome the deaths of her grandfather and her older sister. The trauma and lack of sleep cause her to embark on a strange journey of apparitions and murders, apparently caused by her mind…

 

The trailer looks simply amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJVeMjjNPfs.

 

Official Website: http://davidemelini.com/DEEPSHOCK

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeepShockDavideMelini

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeepShock_2017

 

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2277640/?ref_=nm_flmg_prd_1