Gross Movie Reviews #371

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Gross Movie Reviews #371

 

By Tim Gross

 

Passed the Door of Darkness (DVD) – Two detectives that are having trouble catching a serial killer that is always one step ahead. The older detective finds out he has a brain tumor and is blacking out. Eventually he comes to the realization that the killer is him. The film fails to try and hide who is the killer from the start and just about put me to sleep trying finish the film as I give it a ½ star.

 

Wer (DVD) – The film begins with a family hiking it out in the middle of rural France only to capture their vicious animal attack that killed the husband and kid and scarred the wife, Claire Porter. Immediately, local authorities bring in a very large hairy man that doesn’t talk much and lived with his mother nearby the attack. This gets the attention of an American Human Rights Lawyer, Kathrine, who has a practice there and wants to represent the very large hairy man, Talan. The local authorities disregard that only an animal could do the damage it did and this man Talan has a rare disease that affects his joints, bones, etc. So it seems like a slam dunk for the lawyer to get Talan off from this brutal murder. But tests keep coming up inconclusive; the police know more than they are saying and Kathrine and friends dig deeper into Talan and his family and find a history like no other. That’s when the movie gets even more interesting when Talan escapes and begins a city wide murder spree! A werewolf flick with a whole different spin on the werewolf legend in this American/French production that was shot in Romania. On top of that I loved the creature and blood effects in this entertaining and refreshing spin on the werewolf genre. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Evil Bong 420 (DVD) – Who says, “You can go to the well too many times”? Apparently Charles Band ignores that phrase with this entry into the “Evil Bong” series. The film is a sequel of sorts to “Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong”, which the movie came inside a cereal box where the cereal tasted like a generic ‘Cookie Crisp’ in case you were not paying attention? Anyhow Sonny Davis’s character manages to break out of Eebee’s weed fog inside the bong reality and open up a topless bowling alley. Once, Charles Band makes sure all of the characters from both franchises made their appearances exception of Tommy Chong. Gingerdead Man makes his escape and Eebee is pissed as she comes back to take her revenge in capturing all who escaped. Thus setting up another sequel… I give it 1 star just for the mere reason I am still a fan of Charles Band, Sonny Davis, Robin Sydney, and David Decoteau made an appearance! Plus it doesn’t help the film come off as one long ad for Full Moon merch. Sorry Mr. Band you have a few websites for that.

 

Cyborg Cop III (DVD) – The film was originally called “Terminal Impact”. But honestly who is paying attention to that except for Jon Cross, maybe Ed Demko’s dad, and me? So Delta Tech builds cyborgs while a local news reporter is investigating this cyborg thing. She finds out about something she shouldn’t have and Delta Tech sends cyborgs after her. Lucky for her two lucky go happy bounty hunters happen to drive by and help her out. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

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Insane (Vimeo/DVD) – One of my favorite hard working independent filmmakers Massimilano Cerchi is back with his latest release, “Insane”. The film is about a hot young couple buy their dream home off the internet and pictures don’t do it justice. But of course the weird neighbor just happens to stroll by and tell the young couple they are pretty much “doomed” if they stay because of the history of the home. Michael’s girlfriend Sarah is completely pissed off and wants to know why the realtor didn’t tell them this before they bought it. Michael of course believes it isn’t a big deal until the weird neighbor begins telling Michael of the stories about the murders that happened there. Michael becomes obsessed and begins filming everything and documenting anything to find evidence of something possibly supernatural in his new home. But just like the weirdo neighbor says, “You might not like what you find?” The evil clown is a nice touch but Cerchi’s approach of stripping down the bloated paranormal genre with few characters, not a ton of dialogue, and allowing the scenes tell the story make this feature refreshing and fun. I’m still not a big paranormal film fan but it’s nice to see there are still some entertaining and creepy ideas from great filmmakers out there! I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars as you can find out more about the flick and Mr. Cerchi at: https://www.facebook.com/massimiliano.cerchi?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

The Last Witch Hunter (DVD) – From the beginning this Vin Diesel flick could have been the next great horror film but internet geeks and word of mouth never allowed this movie to have a chance. Now saying that I am not saying this is one of the best movies out there I just believe anymore these days most movies don’t survive the harsh criticism of it before it is ever released. As I try to do if the movie exists I will give it a chance and that is what I did here. Vin Diesel plays a witch hunter who is not one by choice but becomes one after his family is murdered several hundreds of years ago and is guided by a man/priest given to him by the church. Michael Caine plays the latest who believes it is time to retire but wants to give Diesel’s character the full story of what the church is hiding. But he is killed, maybe? And Elijah Wood steps in to help or fuck shit up just to bring the original witch queen back from the dead. I wanted this movie to be so bad that I enjoyed it because of what I heard, example “Cursed” anyone? But it wasn’t… It’s not great but like I said, “it exists”. Maybe it would have been better without Vin Diesel as the ‘Last Witch Hunter’ and should have been a Rutger Hauer or Jeffery Combs? Who knows? But the point is at least watch the movie then decide if it’s as bad as a lot of people believe because I don’t as I give it 2 stars. This film just suffers from ‘never having a chance once thought went to paper’.

 

Appleseed: Alpha (DVD) – Another fun CG-animated sci-fi feature about a cyborg and his female partner just trying to make it in the wasteland and maybe save the world. The two are just trying to repay their debt to a shady guy who rules New York City. So when they go out the outskirts of the city to remove some unwanted cyborgs, they stumble across another cyborg and a girl who are traveling to complete a secret mission. The two unlikely couples decide to travel together but now have evil cyborgs and the shady dude from New York City trying to stop them from accomplishing their mission. These types of movies are fun stuff: “Resident Evil”, “Bio-Hunter”, etc. This is geeky, fun flick for someone like myself as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

John Wick (DVD) – Keenau Reeves jumps feet first into the action genre about a man who just lost his wife and has a dog and a bad ass Ford Mustang. He gets the shit kicked out of him, his dog gets killed, and his classic car stolen by some dumb ass mob kid. When word gets around whose car the kid stole people begin to panic as John Wick used to be a hitman that was flawless and stopped at nothing to kill all he was suppose too. From there the bullets fly and John Wick kicks ass. Even though I enjoyed the film two things bothered me as I watched it and maybe I am just a product of the 80s (Rutger Hauer, Arnold, Sly, Dolph, even a Jason Statham) but it seemed like Keenau just didn’t fit the role. Also I felt they built up the John Wick character a lot and he is easily captured and beaten up! I give the film 3 stars.

The Survviors

The Survivors (The Hack Collection Volume One) (Blu-ray) – Well the talented independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski finally granted my wish of doing a sequel to “Slasher Hunter” and did not disappoint at all. According to Steve, “it’s not just a sequel; it is a sequel to everything he has done.” If you have been following Mr. Rudzinski’s films they all have been leading to something or leave you wanting a little more and it all comes to this… Steve puts everything together in this latest project where ‘The Slashers’ are in complete disarray as Frank is in hell and they lack real leadership. Meanwhile, the group just known as “The Killers” is stronger than ever and keeps two steps ahead of the “Survivor Initiative” until now. “The Slasher Hunters” have some new allies (helps if you have seen some of Steve’s past films to understand some of the characters and why they are there) that includes one my favorite’s ‘Wolfster’. Wolfster is a character Steve came up with early in his filmmaking career I easily could have seen as a movie franchise with a new entry every 12 to 16 months? It all comes down to one final fight between The Slasher Initiative and The Killers leader Norm unless Frank finds a way out of hell? We also find out what was Frank’s worst mistake thanks to hell. This project is beyond hilarious, entertaining, and everything I have expected from such a talented filmmaker. Steve has a way of writing very likable characters good and evil that in my opinion makes him successful for the long haul. Steve this is one of the best independent projects I have seen in 2016 and hope to see a lot more as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars. The copy of “The Survivors” I have is part of “The Hack Collection Volume One” Blu-ray two-disc set that has bloopers, trailers, almost all of Steve’s movies and a lot more. Find out more about the film or purchase it at: www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com and https://www.facebook.com/SilverSpotlightFilms/?fref=ts&ref=br_tf .

 

Land of Doom (VHS/DVD-R) – A lesser known C-grade Wasteland film that looked like it used the leftovers from Fred Williamson’s Eye-talian films. The Peter Maris film has a woman named Harmony trying to make her way across the wasteland just trying to get away from everything only to meet up with a man who is trying to get these ‘raiders’ to believe they can rebuild. Cannibals, killer snakes, horrible motorcycles, and no real ending (Thanks Metalstorm) are the highlights of this film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Marked (DVD) – Six years after a woman witnessed her father murdered and the murderer die in front of her is doing paranormal research for answers. Answers for what not totally sure but it is just another miserable entry into a bloated genre that is starting to rival the other bloated genre, ‘zombies’. I give it 0 stars.

 

Lost Souls (DVD) – A late 90s flick about John Savage, his wife, and kids just moved into a new home. His daughter happens to be autistic and some murdered children from years ago are trying to communicate through her after they find an old device in storage at the house. Every time the machine is turned on something paranormal happens. After a few twists and turns the family finds out it is the local sheriff with the murdering past. The movie was a TV movie that had a few showings on the now defunct channel UPN before going into obscure cheap paranormal DVD box sets. I give the film 2 stars.

 

Let Us Prey (DVD) – An Irish film about a new constable starting her job for a station in a small town. While walking the beat she witnesses a drunken kid run down a man. She takes the kid in but cannot find the man. Later the mysterious man is found by other officers and brought in to get a statement but refuses to speak but just stare. The mysterious no name man is put into a cell while they call a doctor and that is when things begin to get weird because anyone that is near the mysterious man knows their deep secrets. But what all inside the station don’t know he is there to collect souls before the stroke of midnight and everyone’s past comes back to haunt them in one way or another. The film starts slow but builds into a chaotic, bloody climax worth checking out. In the end, the movie starting off slow makes a lot of sense after watching it as this is one of those lesser known recent horror movies worth seeking out as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Gates of Hell 2: Dead Awakening (DVD) – Literally a sequel no one knew about and for good reason. From what I could stay awake for the film is very low budget and set in the early to mid-80s, never mind the dedication to Lucio Fulci. But anyway no zombies and barely demons on-screen that are brought forth by some stupid middle aged men who are also looking for a woman who has a medallion that is supposed to help them with conjuring some demons. The film was mostly shot in Fort Worth, Texas in 1986/1987 according to sketchy information I was able to dig up on it. But fuck it, the movie is so bad it shouldn’t exist so let’s stick with “Death Metal Zombies” and “Heavy Metal Massacre” for our fun bad stuff shall we? I give it 0 stars.

 

Indigenous (DVD) – The usual crap about stupid American college kids not listening and going to a waterfall in the middle of a dense jungle of Panama. Bad shit happened there supposedly but they don’t listen and go visit only to become dinner to a Chupacabra. But that’s when the movie gets interesting when a guy uploads his video to his social media and it goes viral within four hours causing a military to search for them and millions to watch on 24/7 news channels for their rescue. I liked the monster/Chupacabra looked like an extra form “The Descent” but I thought the movie was much better and interesting when the film took a serious turn in using social media as part of the storyline. Now, I thought if the movie would have continued that storyline instead of wasting storyline and film of the rich kids partying, bumping uglies, drinking, and repeat before they visit the Chupacabra? Then a lot more horror movie fans would be talking about and seeking out this monster flick. Sometime filmmakers it’s better to color outside the lines than keep coloring inside the lines of the same picture film in, film out. For that I give this movie 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Don’t forget you can come by the vendor table I will be at for a book, shirt, or a movie March 4, 5, 6th, 2016 at Pittsburgh’s Horror Realm Convention (for details: www.horrorrealmcon.com) and Cinema Wasteland April 1, 2, 3rd, 2016 in Strongsville, Ohio (for details: www.cinemawasteland.com) .

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Gross Movie Reviews #366

0

Gross Movie Reviews #366

 

By Tim Gross

 

No Tell Motel (DVD) – Honestly there wasn’t much to tell as cynical young folks are on a trip to party for the weekend. Until one gets angry and flips the RV and they find an old motel down the road that is supposedly haunted. From there it gets a little boring and the characters are not really likable as you rout for all of them to die before halfway mark of the film. But the film tries to be a horrible crossbreed of Paranormal and Slasher flick so go figure why the film doesn’t work? I give it 0 stars.

 

Time After Time (DVD) – A late 70s film that takes a wonderful and interesting take on Jack the Ripper. David Warner is Jack the Ripper and Malcolm McDowell is a person that happens to build a time machine and best friends with Jack. They go through time to 1979 where Jack finds himself more at home than his original century. The effects are dated but the story is brilliantly brought to life by these two actors making this movie well worth revisiting as I give it 3 stars.

 

Time Bandits (DVD) – A science fiction/comedy about a supreme being that has the power to cross times and dimensions. But some midgets/little people have stolen the power that allows them to travel and David Warner is pissed. Along the way a boy is wrapped up in the chaos of the time traveling. An early 80s cable movie staple that may have been lost in the shuffle of fun weird movies that could not decide if it’s a comedy, kids film, or just a plain sci-fi flick. The film is a who’s who of British actors as I give it 3 stars.

 

The House by the Cemetery (DVD) – Another of Fulci’s films that was a drive-in staple in cut up form and on VHS in the early 80s has just been restored and available for horror fan’s consumption. The film stars Katherine (Catriona) MacColl who starred in a few of Fulci’s most notable zombie flicks. Her husband is moving her and their son from New York to an old New England home to do research on a Dr. Freudstein. Never mind the dude is living aka undead and still looking to kill in the basement. After many warnings from a little girl and strange things McColl’s husband never p[picks up on Freudstein enjoys making a gory bloody mess everywhere. If possible the film is a little weirder than “The Beyond” but let that stop you from enjoying the movie on its new format and uncut. I give this Fulci film 3 stars, it’s not my favorite but worth watching the uncut version.

Dixie

In The Hell of Dixie (DVD) – After some hunters of a hunting club have a quarrel with a man named Merrill; murders begin to happen one by one. The local sheriff believes it to be his deputy after the deputy is not promoted and a member of the hunting club. Bodies keep piling up and the deputy wants to clear his name and save his friends before there is no hunting club left. This independent film takes the long way around of making a slasher film. And when I say long I say 127 minutes… I believe the film’s biggest mistake was taking way too much time establishing the hunting club and its stale characters outside of the deputy. Most horror fans will check out about the 80 minute mark even with the half decent blood effects and story twist. The film needs to be edited down as not every movie especially horror doesn’t need to be as long as a Hollywood blockbuster. Once edited, I believe this film could be a leaner and meaner independent Southern treat it was meant to be? Otherwise if you need something to help you sleep this film is for you horror fans as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. The film is available at www.alternativecinema.com .

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The Bone Garden (DVD) – Alice and her husband who have been married for a long time have new neighbors move in. One of which works at the same university her husband works at. Even Alice believes her husband is cheating on her especially urging from her best friend Alice is concerned with the new neighbors. She believes they are hiding something as days pass and young women begin to be missing. After Alice’s best friend convinces her into going out to the local bar she sees her husband’s car and is convinced he is cheating and takes upon herself to make herself available. She has a new guy in her life, the husband has been kicked out, and the dead bodies of the missing women are found in the neighbor’s house. Everything is right with the world? But Alice is not convinced it’s her neighbor anymore. This independent flick has a few references to the original “Halloween”, some good effects, and fun plot twists which make it a solid and entertaining horror film. It could be just me but what stops this good movie from being great was the music. At all times throughout the movie the soundtrack just didn’t fit the scenes or the flow of the film and for that I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. The film is available to order at www.alternativecinema.com .

 

Dead Rising: Watchtower (OnDemand) – A horror film based on a newer zombie game that surprised me it didn’t get a bigger release. News reporter Chase Carter and his cameraman/woman are in the heart of a city under quarantine as the government is trying to stop a new outbreak of zombies. The government is using ‘Zombrex’ which taken once a day can prevent people who have been bitten from becoming zombies. But the batch of ‘Zombrex’ is not working and chaos ensues as Chase gets separated from his camera woman and is now trapped in the quarantined city. Chase teams up with a woman whose ‘Zombrex’ works and wants to get the evidence of a cover up out to the public. Another zombie flick for the glut that does not quite separate itself out of obscurity but also isn’t horrible to watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Reaper (DVD) – Interesting mess of a concept here?  Vinnie Jones, Jake Busey, and Danny Trejo star in a film where a supernatural preacher/escapee/serial killer is killing people at The Last Chance Hotel. Was this the pitch in the meeting for this film: Okay we are remaking “Shocker” and “The Horror Show” in five days, a poster that makes no sense, and yinz all collect a paycheck? I give it 1 ½ stars, can’t help myself I like “Machete”!

 

See No Evil 2 (DVD) – The popular and very talented Soska sisters take on the sequel about the unstoppable killer Jacob Goodnight. The film picks up from the end of the first film where the body of Goodnight is taken to the morgue. But its Amy’s (Danielle Harris) birthday and she is done with work. She is about to go out the door to party with friends (Katharine Isabelle and others) but stays once hearing her friends are going to be swamped at the morgue. So the party is moved to the morgue. Once a couple begins to have sex next to Goodnight’s body disappears the killing never stops. Not sold on the “Halloween 6” type killing of Goodnight but did enjoy the slasher sequel more than most recent sequels aka “Laid to Rest 2” for example. Hope there is a third and hope the Soska sisters keep doing great work as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Final Girl (DVD) – The movie begins with a little girl sitting at a table in a blank room with a man asking her odd questions and hands her a maze to figure out. Veronica finishes it is asked if she wants to be a part of something many cannot do and she just wants ice cream. 12 years later Veronica is in training with her trainer, the same man that questioned her. He is preparing her for a situation where she will take on four vicious gentlemen who go hunting… for women. She meets with them and turns the table on the gentlemen. It’s a weird movie that exists in its own universe, doesn’t give back story, and you don’t if it’s a government experiment or something totally different. A horror film that not meant for you to think but the more you read into it you will. I enjoy fun little horror films like this you are not sure how to classify and make me want to revisit again and again as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.